02x07 - The Unlikely Demise of Terry's Favorite sh*t Glass

[bunniefuu]

I'm doing this

for the good of the wall.

- For the Wall!

- The Wall!

The Duke is dead.

What?

We don't know that he's dead.

I'm not in charge of the Wall.

I just live in it.

- Why?

- Nobody needs to know there's a way out.

I mean, what are they gonna do?

Run out there and get eaten

by an owl?

No. It's safer and better

to build a new world here.

I I believed. I believed in you.

And I believe in the Wall.

Thank you for helping me reach

my destiny.

Thank God I always keep

a Cherry Blast Gusher on me.

Mm.

f*ck! My tiny leg is broken!

f*ck you, Tim.

I'm not dying out here.

I am not dying out here.

I am not dying out here.

Gotta get up in a tree.

Just like in Jurassic Park,

you're always safe in a tree.

You're safe in a tree.

Safe in a tree.

Ugh, I wish I hadn't thrown out

that Gusher.

Ah!

Mmm! Mmm!

Mmm. Mmm.

- You're not dead?

- What the f*ck?

Ah!

This is for everyone you hurt.

Aah!

Aah!

Who knew a truck-sized possum

would be such a little bitch?

- That was just a baby.

- Then where's its mother?

What the hell?

sh*t, barricade that door!

Hurry!

What is this place?

- Kid's toy. A spaceship.

- What?

Specifically,

the Predator spaceship playset

from the 2007 movie

Alien Versus Predator: Requiem.

That's the Predalien.

The alien-slash-Predator hybrid.

That's how I know

this set is from Requiem

and not the original AvP.

The Predalien was only

in the sequel.

Don't you dare mansplain

the Predalien to me.

It appears in the final moments

of the first film,

so it's technically

in both movies, you dumb bitch.

Okay, you know your AvP.

Let me guess: you followed me

out of the Wall to k*ll me

to finish what

your old pal Tim started.

Ugh. Tim.

- Wrong again.

- What? Then why did you

I don't want to talk about it.

What's all that?

Some stuff I put together in case

I ever had to escape the Wall.

Everybody was always like,

"You won't need the bag."

"Why would you ever need

the bag?"

Yeah, well, looks like

I was right again, as usual.

- Firecracker?

- Oh yeah.

- We could throw it at the possum.

- It would probably just piss it off.

- What's this?

- Purell.

You gotta put something on that leg

if you don't want to get an infection.

- Thanks.

- Hey, I still hate you,

but I need you alive and alert

if you're gonna help me

secure this place.

Here.

- Thanks.

- Just to be clear,

once we're out of here,

I'm still going to s*ab you in the eye.

You know, I did what I had to do

for the good of my people.

They weren't your people!

You're a stupid t*rror1st

who destroyed our society's only chance

at peace and stability.

You should feel free

to go f*ck yourself.

- You wish.

- Like I would waste a wish on that?

Yeah, right. You wish.

Wow, you really got me.

It's getting late.

I'll take first watch.

No way I'm sleeping

with you sitting there.

I'll take first watch.

Fine. But don't you dare touch

my penis while I'm asleep.

What? I would never touch

your disgusting penis!

Good.

No one has ever touched it

and that sure as hell

isn't changing tonight!

Wai

Relax. Your twig's over there.

I cleaned off the blood

and sharpened it for you.

Thank you.

De nada.

Breakfast?

I'm cooking mushrooms.

I found them in the corner.

- No, I'm out of here.

- That's not an option.

If either of us step outside,

old lady possum will k*ll us.

- There's nothing there.

- Trust me, Jeff's watching.

Also, I've decided

to call her "Jeff."

I know it's a girl,

but I had a roommate once

who had a face just like a possum

and his name was Jeff.

Why is she waiting for us?

There are trash cans up and down

the street that have easier food.

I think we have a Jaws 2 situation

on our hands,

the one where the momma shark

gets revenge on them for k*lling her kid.

Her brain's the size of a peanut,

how long could she hold a grudge?

Hours, days, months?

- Months?

- It's also possible

that you and I are already dead

and this is Hell.

In that case,

we'll be here for all eternity.

You're full of sh*t.

I'll take my chances outside.

Oh!

So, how about that breakfast?

I imagine you're pretty eager

to get back

to your t*rror1st pals

in the Wall.

Oh, they're probably planning

some big extremist party

to celebrate

all their successful terrorizing.

- That's f*cked up.

- I'm never going back to the Wall.

Because this is so great?

I told you, I don't want

to talk about it.

I can respect that.

Oh, please tell me.

Please, please tell me, please

Shut up!

After we stormed the palace,

Tim went crazy.

He didn't want to tell anyone

there was a way out. He

He stabbed me,

and he pushed me out the hole.

No f*cking way.

So Tim stabbed you

in the front

just like he stabbed me

in the back.

He didn't s*ab you in the back!

We were never on your side

to begin with.

Regardless, it sounded cool.

Man, what a piece of sh*t.

At least I always told you

what the deal was.

I thought I knew him.

I thought he was a good person.

Power does crazy things

to people.

Uh, not me.

I mean, I handled it perfectly

and was an excellent,

excellent leader.

You flooded the bottom levels!

People were trying

to burn down the whole Wall.

I had no choice!

Whatever, we can at least

both agree that Tim sucks.

I can't imagine what's happened

to the Wall with him in charge.

They need a real leader.

- How are the mushrooms?

- Disgusting.

What are you,

like a chef or something?

Before I was put in the Wall,

I worked at Benihana.

Uhhh, whoa, what are you

Benihana's my favorite restaurant

of all time.

I went there

twice a week for years!

Are you serious?

It's so oily.

Didn't you get tons of diarrhea?

Tons and tons of diarrhea!

But that's a small price

for an onion volcano.

You know,

it's not just food

"It's an experience."

What I want, you've got

and it might be hard to handle ♪

But like a flame

that burns the candle ♪

The candle feeds the flame ♪

Yeah, yeah,

what I've got, full stock ♪

Of thoughts and dreams

that scatter ♪

If you pull 'em all together ♪

And a-how, I can't explain ♪

Oh yeah ♪

Well, well, you ♪

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ♪

You make

a-my dreams come true ♪

You, you,

ooh ooh ooh, you ♪

Well, well, well, you ♪

Oh yeah, you make

a-my dreams come true ♪

You, you, you ♪

Yeah, oh yeah ♪

You ♪

On a night when bad dreams ♪

So the Benihana founder

is Rocky Aoki

- The father of Steve Aoki.

- I don't know who that is.

He's like this really famous DJ!

And Rocky's also the father

of Devon Aoki.

- I'm drawing a blank.

- Supermodel-slash-actress.

She was in 2 Fast 2 Furious

and Sin City.

- And these people are famous?

- Kinda, like 10 years ago.

I just realized I don't know

your real name.

Your parents didn't name you

"The Duke," right?

- Well, my real name is

- Hold on.

Ugh. Guess I shouldn't have gone

for that extra portion of ant brain.

- Yeah, right.

- What's with the tone?

- Oh, come on.

- What?

Don't make me say it.

Guys aren't supposed to bring it up.

What? Stop being a d*ck,

I told you about Aoki.

Okay. it's pretty clear

that you're pregnant.

What?

No way, that's impossible.

I've been seeing signs for a while.

I just assumed you didn't want

to talk about it.

Who's the father,

some Benihana hunk?

What'd he do, sh**t that shrimp

right into your pocket?

Oh god no.

No, no, no, no, no.

This can't be happening.

You're also six to eight weeks late

on your period.

- Excuse me?

- It's close quarters in here.

I'm just supposed to not notice

you're not having a period?

Yes!

God, I wish there was a way

we could know for sure?

Oh, but there is.

What are you doing?

The creme in a Cadbunny Creme Egg

is basically made

of the same stuff used

to make pregnancy tests.

That is one hundred million percent

not true.

I put a drop of Cad Creme

on each of these dimes

to test them using

our urine samples.

First, we'll try mine,

which will function as the control.

Am I using "control" right?

- Sounds right.

- Okay, here we go.

Okay, no reaction.

Now let's try your urine.

Or as I like to call it, "yourine."

- Jesus Christ!

- Congratulations, Mom.

Aren't you glad I've been saving

acorn caps of our urine?

No! This is terrible!

Hey, come on!

This is a miracle!

The first baby to be born small!

- It's not mine, is it?

- What! We've never even had sex.

Good. You promised to never touch

my penis when I'm asleep,

and I expect you to honor that.

The father it's Tim.

Whoa. You mean assh*le Tim?

- Yes.

- sh*t.

I can't believe this is happening.

How am I going to take care

of a child out here?

Uh

Whatever happens, you and I are going

to figure this out together.

I promise you.

Wait a second, you've been saving

our urine all this time?

I call it our-ine.

Oh look, you weren't complaining

when you took

all those warm, bitter baths.

Yeah, I guess part of me knew,

but I just didn't want to lose

the option of a relaxing midday soak

to let my troubles melt away.

Turns out it was piss.

Keep pushing, Cherie!

Keep pushing!

- Push!

- Ahhhh!

I've got it!

It's not crying, Duke.

Why isn't it crying?

It's a lime Gummy Bear!

Cherie, wake up!

You're having another nightmare

where you give birth to a piece of candy.

- It was so real.

- What was it this time? Twix?

- Gummy bear.

- Green?

- Yeah, it was green.

- Holy sh*t, I guessed it?

Here, drink this.

You gotta stay hydrated.

Thanks.

I've been doing some thinking.

This Alien Versus Predator:

Requiem playset

is no place to raise a child.

Oh, come on.

Sure, it's no Masters of the Universe

Castle Grayskull

Fortress of Mystery and Power

for He-Man and his Foes,

but it's not so bad .

It's starting to fall apart.

We've patched things

with the extra Predator dreadlocks,

but once those run out,

there won't be anything

to protect us

and the baby from Jeff.

I forgot we were calling

the possum Jeff.

This was always meant

to be temporary.

A baby needs

real medical supplies

and non-insect foods.

Plus, if we could get in contact

with some regular-sized people,

there's a chance we could be turned

regular size again ourselves.

But where could we even go?

We have to go to the corner

of happy and healthy.

The Wallgreans? Are you crazy?

It would take weeks to reach on foot.

I know. But we have to do it

for the sake of the child.

It's so weird when you say "the child"

all dramatic like that.

- Please stop.

- Just one more time.

- Fine.

- For the sake of the child!

Anyway, besides Wallgreans,

the only other option would be the Wall.

Okay, maybe we try for Wallgreans.

But what about Jeff?

Getting past her

will be impossible.

Dare I say im-possum-able.

When we work together,

nothing is im-possum-able.

- We're really doing this?

- We're doing it.

Soon as I open the door,

make a break for the grass line.

I'll get your back.

Maybe we should just stay here

and reinforce the alien egg chamber.

Come on, you trust me, right?

I trust you, The Duke.

f*ck. That's so bright.

Go. Go now! Go!

Hey! Over here, you piece of sh*t!

I'm over here!

Duke, what are you

Duke!

Noooo!

Ahh!

Aww, dang it, I broke

my Babu Frik collectible sh*t glass!

What did you do, you dummy?

It was the only way

to stop her.

You have to get to Wallgreans.

I can't do this without you!

Yes, you can.

I hope this makes up

for some of the bad things

I did in the Wall.

I was a bad leader, Cherie.

Goodbye.

I love you but like

in a fatherly way,

not like in a horny way.

Please don't touch my d*ck

when I'm dead.

I won't.

I love you too, Duke.

You asked me once

about my real name.

My real name is Ringo.

Oh, I think scrubs are great ♪

Please tell me

my water didn't just break.

f*ck, f*ck

flyness of a scrub

is up for debate ♪

Depending on

the scrub in question ♪

That other song has it wrong ♪

Holler! ♪

Yes! Scrub scrub scrub ♪

You ain't bad! ♪

Ooh!

No, not now!

Ice cold Pez, score!

Nom, nom, nom.

Ah!

Yech. I just realized

Pez tastes like chalk.

Yes, yes, scrubby scrub, scrub

scrub, scrub, scrub ♪

Scrub, you've been misjudged ♪

You've been marginalized ♪

It's okay.

It's okay.

We finally made it, sweetie.

I just wish Ringo was here with us.

No!

No!

No! No! No!

All of this,

The Duke's sacrifice, the journey,

it's all been for nothing.

There's no Wallgreans

and nowhere else to go.

I don't like it, and I don't know

what we'll find there,

but we have to go back

to your father.

We have to go back to the Wall.

There it is.

Nothing's ever easy, is it?

Uhh!

f*ck you, bird.

Thank you, strange creature.

- I like Lightning McQueen.

- Okay.

I don't know what

we're going to find there,

but it's been over a year

since Tim took over

and he's a psycho,

so I can only assume

it's going to be bad.

That's right. So keep quiet.

Cherie Day. What the f*ck?

I don't understand.

Everything looks so clean,

and the people look happy.

Attention, citizens,

please welcome our leader Tim!

Wallians, welcome to

the first annual Cherie Day.

Before we get to celebrating

our fallen hero,

there is an important

announcement to make.

But you won't be

hearing it from me.

We captured the m*rder*r.

It was

a rogue cricket

who got in the Wall.

I've seen that look before.

I'd rather just be alone, so

Ch Cherie?

Seems like

everyone knows me now.

You're alive.

How are you alive and tan?

Don't worry about that,

I'll explain later.

I'm here because I want

to save the Wall,

- and I need your help.

- Save it from what?

I was in the crowd.

I saw that look in your eyes.

The cricket.

It was a cricket

Stop. You know it's all an act,

that Tim lies and hides

his v*olence to protect the Wall.

Okay, yeah, I've seen it.

He's just like the Duke.

He's not like the Duke.

He's worse.

But it keeps the Wall safe.

You have to think about the future.

I know.

I've seen the future.

And it's one

where Tim can't be in control.

- You have a baby?

- Her name is Pezlie.

- Pezlie?

- Yeah. She was born in a Pez dispenser.

We're just two people.

We can't take Tim on.

Everyone loves him.

He's so powerful.

Nothing is im-possum-able

when we work together.

What?