07x18 - Pardon Me

[bunniefuu]

Turn around!
Turn around!

Don't look at me!

Now, keep your mouth shut.

Get over there
And close that door now!

All right, now back up.

Back up!

Stop.

Sit.

Don't look at me!

Who are you?

Never mind that.

Is this about
My overdue library books?

No, silly, I came here
To ask you a favor.

Should you be on
The sofa?

Don't be a wise guy.

I thought this was fun
And games.

You're the one wearing
The dog mask.

Okay, okay, okay --
The mask.

Look over there.
Look over there.

Okay, now you can look.

I can see why
You're wearing it.

I said, "Don't be
A wise guy"!

What do you want?

years ago,
A man named jake mcgraw

Was convicted of a crime
He didn't commit.

Why are you telling me?
Tell the police.

I can't.
I helped commit the crime,

Then we framed mcgraw
For it.

And the police bought it?

That was easy --
We were the police.

You were a bad doggy.

Hey, hey, hey --

I didn't want to have
Anything to do with it, man.

But I had a friend who said
If I didn't go along with it,

He'd k*ll me.

So?

So, I want to come clean.

Why now?

Because...

Last week,
My friend d*ed.

Is this him in here?

No, no.

You know, you got
A bad attitude, pal.

Everything in there
Can help you out.

That has
The court transcripts,

The police papers,

The et ceteras,
Et ceteras, et ceteras.

What do you want me
To do with it?

I want you
To look into this.

Hey, man,
I got enough work.

Come on, please.

It'd take a great burden off
My conscience.

Look, mister, uh...

Uh, dog.

Why don't you
Just turn yourself in?

That burdened I'm not.
Come on, will you do this?

Yeah,
I said I'll read it.

Thanks.

One thing.

Better be careful
Out there.

There's a lot of lonely
Dobermans in this block.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

It's all right there,
Governor.

I have every reason
To believe

That this jake mcgraw
Is an innocent man.

Benson, you got
This information from a dog.

I mean, what do you know
About this dog?

Governor, please.

I don't have the patience
To explain it again.

Well, I am sorry,
But it seems to me

We're wasting an awful lot
Of government time

Trying to help some goon.

Benson...

What do you got, kraus?

I just talked to the woman
In phoenix

Who could have testified at
The original trial.

She was never called
To testify.

Will this woman
Take out a deposition

Swearing that jake mcgraw
Is innocent?

Ja.

Thank you, kraus.
Governor?

Hmm? Oh, right.
Thank you, miss kraus.

No, no, no --

Listen, this jake mcgraw
Is innocent.

I recommend a full pardon.

Absolutely not.
Out of the question.

Who d*ed
Und made you governor?

Just a figment of speech.
Sorry.

Get me warden robinson
On the phone, please.

Thank you.

I'm gonna take care
Of this today.

Sir, this is
A very bad precedent.

Politically speaking,

I think you should let
The man rot.

Clayton...

The man has been
Falsely imprisoned.

So?

Oh, clayton,
Someone should lock you up

And throw away the door.

I can't argue with that.

I can't explain it,
But I can't argue.

Miss kraus: benson!

There's a mr. Jake mcgraw
Out here!

The man I pardoned.
What a nice surprise.

Send him in.

Well, he's obviously here
To kiss up and grovel.

Yeah, perhaps you can
Pick up a few pointers.

This is him.

I'm jake mcgraw.

Hi, I'm governor gatling.

I'm benson dubois.

And I am clayton endicott iii.

Clayton is the one who wanted
To keep you in jail.

Benson here is the one
Who got you out.

Ah, just part of my job.

I do appreciate you coming out
Of your way to thank me.

Thank you?

You're welcome.

No, I mean, why should
I want to thank you?

Well, because, you know,
People usually thank...

Mr. Mcgraw, do I sense
A little tension here?

You're damn right,
You do.

Ah.

Hey!

Benson worked very hard
To get you out of jail.

The least you can be
Is thankful.

No, he doesn't
Have to thank me, kraus.

His freedom is my reward.

Why, that's beautiful,
Benson.

Listen, missy.

I spent over half my life
In prison

For something I didn't do.

My family and friends
Have either d*ed

Or moved away
With no forwarding address.

Then some politician,

Doing his
Good deed for the day,

Pulls me out into a world
I don't know.

Now, tell me,

Which part do you want me
To thank him for?

Um...
Um...
Um...

I-I have an idea.

Why don't I call
And get us some refreshments?

Yes, that's what I'll do.

Get sergeant leary up here
Right away.

In prison, I was one
Of the elder statesmen.

People looked up to me.

In there, I was a somebody.

Out here,
You are nobody.

Kraus, let the man finish
His own story.

Hey,
Don't hang this on me!

You are the one
Who wanted him free --

Ruined the man's life.

Every year,
It gets worse.

Year after year...

Oh!

You call me,
Mr. Endicott?

Yes, sergeant leary.
Detain this hoodlum.

That won't be necessary,
Clayton.

Oh, good,
'cause I can't do it.

And why not?

My g*n's in the shop.

I told the wife this morning,
I said, "Honey, just watch.

Today's the day
I'm gonna need that g*n."

Isn't that always
The way?

Just the other day,

I locked my car keys
In the trunk.

Excuse me.

That's a very funny story,
Governor.

Can I go back to watching
The soap operas now?

Well, sure.

Anyway,
I got the trunk open,

But I couldn't
Get it closed.

Now it just
Sort of bounces.

Hey!

You guys got a problem.

We have a problem.

Why?
Why?

Because the way
I figure it,

This state owes me
For lost time.

And it can start
Paying me back right now

By giving me
A place to sleep.

The way he figures it --

I heard.

Uh, huddle.

Excuse me.

Didn't I tell you

We were going to have
A problem?

You called us over here
To tell us you told us so?

Yes.

Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta.

You know,
It is perfectly possible

That the state will be
Financially responsible

For the time
This man has lost.

I say we give him
What he wants,

Pending a decision
On the state's liability.

What do you think,
Benson?

Clayton's not wrong.

Oh, would it k*ll you

To just come out
And say I'm right?

It'd make me awfully sick.

Jake, we're gonna get you
A place to stay.

I'll stay right here.

This --
This is benson's office.

That's perfect.

He got me out.
Now he can put me up.

Huddle!

Can I use your phone?

I promised my buddies at
The prison I'd call

And let them know
I made it safely.

Sure, sure.

I don't want this guy
Staying in my office.

Benson,
It's only for one night.

You owe him that much.

I don't owe him diddly.

Well, you're the one

Who turned this man loose
On society.

The governor pardoned him.

It was your idea.

You signed the pardon.

You talked to the dog.

He can't stay in my office.

He'd be more comfortable
In your condo.

Right, right, right.

Hey, hey, hey!

He can't stay in my condo.

Here, one night.

Hey, how you doing,
Spike?

Yeah, I made it all right.
Everything's fine.

Listen, I was gonna --

Hey!

Good morning, benson.

[ growls ]

Uh-oh.
Don't tell me.

Jake is still living
In your office?

Yeah.

The man just sits there
And whittles little pistols

Out of bars of soap.

It has been five days.

That jailbird is going to
Drive me up the wall.

You? What about me?

He's there napping
While I'm trying to work.

You know what it's like

To have a man sleeping
Right next to you?

No, of course you don't.

Is jake here?

No, he's not,
Sweetheart.

Why are you looking
For jake?

Oh, I want to invite him
To school for career day.

A lot of the kids
In your class

Interested in making
License plates?

No, I thought
He'd be interested

In seeing what jobs are
Available these days.

That's a good idea.
He should be here soon.

How do you know that?

Well, because he insists

On keeping to his old
Prison schedule.

Springs out
Of the bed at dawn.

Sings old spirituals
Until noon.

Exercises until dinner.

Takes a quick shower,
Makes a mark on my wall,

And goes back to bed.

Prison and high school
Sound a lot alike.

Well, as long
As he's not in the office,

I'll go in there
And get those committee reports.

The last time I saw him,

He offered me
cigarettes for a kiss.

Well, he's obviously trying
To give up smoking.

Oh, hi, rose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, where is he?

Who?

-----.

He was supposed
To be scrubbing

The upstairs bathroom
Five minutes ago.

♪ I looked over jordan,
And what did I see? ♪

♪ coming for
To carry me home ♪

Hey, jake.

Hey, how you doing?

Uh, if you're interested
In career day, it's tomorrow.

Ah, that's sweet, kid,
But it ain't my cup of tea.

No skin off my nose.

Where have you been?

I was just doing my
Exercise time out in the yard.

Look, buster --
You eat here, you work here.

So get your mop
And all your high-tops.

Ah, ah -- mrs. Cassidy,
If you don't mind,

I'd like to have a word
With mr. Mcgraw.

Sure.
But don't keep him long.

As soon as he's done
With the bathrooms,

I think I'll have him buff
The basement.

[ laughs ]

Drunk with power.

No, I think
She's just drunk.

Ah, mr. Mcgraw,
Would you please sit down here

And make yourself
Comfortable?

Now, mr. Mcgraw,

I have been authorized
By the state

To offer you $,.

What?

Benson, please,

I'm trying to conduct
Some state business here.

What's this all about?

If mr. Endicott
Is offering you $,,

It's because he suspects
The state owes you a lot more.

I don't want any money.

Better yet.

I just want to go back home
To cell block "H."

Cell block "H"?

You want to go back
To jail?

Yeah.
I'm happy there.

I feel safe there.

I want to go back.

I want to go back home.

Jake, we don't have
The authority

To send you back
To prison.

[ laughs ]
I'll tell you what.

You get me back into prison,
And I'll let you off the hook.

If you don't,

Well, I'm gonna get myself
Some big-time lawyers,

And this state is gonna pay
Through that nose.

Hmm?

Why, that ungrateful thug.

Spends a few lousy days
In jail.

A few lousy days in jail?

Clayton, the man's talking
About a quarter of a century.

Well, whatever.

That doesn't give him
The right to be rude.

I'll go get him.
You can tell him.

No, I wouldn't bother
Doing that.

Oh, no,
It won't be any problem.

No, no, that's really
Not necessary.

It would be my pleasure.
Jake!

Benson!

Benson, please!
I have money!

Jake!

You sent for me, sir?

No, actually, benson,
I sent for you.

No, you didn't.
It was my idea.

No, sir, I said,
"What shall we do about this?"

You said,
"I don't know" --

Yeah, and then I said,
"Let's send for benson."

And then you said --

I said,
"Let's send for benson,"

And then you said --

Do you mind?

Benson, we want mr. Mcgraw
To leave the mansion.

So do I, but what about
The state's responsibility?

No, the attorney general
Has assured me

That his office
Will take care of it.

They say they can stretch
This thing out for years,

So, legally,
We're covered.

Legally?
What about morally?

Will you stop caring
About people for one moment

And listen to reason?

Benson, I understand
You're concerned.

You're just going to send
Jake mcgraw out into a world

Which he practically
Knows nothing about?

You're exaggerating!

Am I?

years ago,
Gasoline cost a quarter!

People were still putting
Dixie peach in their hair!

And a whoopi goldberg
Was a cushion

You could buy
At a jewish novelty shop!

The truth of the matter

Is that jake mcgraw
Can't live in this world.

It's our fault because
We didn't prepare him for it!

All right,
If your mr. Mcgraw

Is so in love
With prison life

And if it would benefit
The state,

Why don't we just
Send him back?

Because he hasn't
Done anything wrong!

So?
We'll frame him.

This is an innocent man
You're talking about.

Innocent?

The man is obviously
A loser.

He belongs behind bars,
Guarded day and night.

So, maybe he didn't commit
This one crime.

He's obviously
Committed some crime.

I mean, sir,
The man has a tattoo.

You know, you're
Absolutely right, clayton.

The man belongs in jail.

What are you saying?

He's saying that
I'm absolutely right.

Is that what
You're saying?

It would be
For jake's own good.

I'll take care of it,
Sir.

What do you suppose
He's gonna do?

Probably something sneaky
And underhanded.

Why do you say that?

That's what I'd do.

Well, yes, warden,

I realize that this
Is an unusual request,

But I honestly believe
That jake mcgraw

Would be better off
Up there with you guys.

Well, thank you, sir.

What's that?

[ laughs ]

You tell the former lieutenant
Governor hello for me, too.

Bye-bye. Thank you.

[ thud ]

[ clanking ]

Jake!

I thought
You were a robber!

I am.

What are you
Talking about?

I broke in here
So I can get caught

And sent back to jail.

But you live here, fool.

You can't be arrested for
Breaking into where you live!

Ah, that's a technicality.

I'll b*at it in court.

Well, this is no way
To accomplish anything.

Let's go back to my office
So we can talk about it.

All right,
What's going on in here?

What are you doing here?

I heard noises.

That was me.

Aah!

What are you doing
Out there?

What?

What are you doing
Out there?

Well, I saw somebody trying
To break in the window,

So I grabbed my umbrella.

Seems to be
The thing to do.

Don't come in here.
What are you coming in for?

Go back around
The other way.

[ all shouting ]

Unbelievable.

Ow!

Let's get out of here.

Ow!

I think that's
A very good idea.

The door is stuck.

What do you mean,
It's stuck?

The door is stuck.

Let me see that.

We'll go out the window.

I don't want to.

Let's open
The door in here.

Leary: come out
With your hands up!

The bathroom is surrounded!

I believe that
Is sergeant leary.

This is your last chance.

Men, prepare to fire.

Leary! Leary! Leary!

Could be.

This is lieutenant governor
Benson dubois.

Now,
We know you're alone.

Get this door open.
It's stuck.

How do I know it's you?

Leary,
You chowderhead!

It's you.

Okay, stand back.

I'm going to sh**t
The lock off.

[ all screaming ]

[ laughs ]

He doesn't have a g*n!

[ g*n cocks ]

I rented one.

Aah!

Leary!

Yes?

Now, don't think.

Just listen.

Put the g*n down,
Go get a screwdriver,

And take the door off
Its hinges.

Okay, but I'd sure
Like to know

What you guys
Are doing in there.

Just go!

All right.

Thank you.

What a simpleton.

He had you kissing tile.

What exactly
Are we all doing in here?

Governor,
I broke in here tonight

So I can get caught
And go back to jail.

I understand that.

Well, you don't have to
Break in here,

Because you're gonna go back
To jail anyway.

Benson!
You didn't!

He did.

What do you mean?

He had you framed!

Thank you, benson.

No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.

Was it you, clayton?

No, but I did suggest it.

I'm lost.

He's gonna go back to jail,
But not as a convict.

As a guard.

A guard!

A guard?

A screw!
That's great!

Now I can wash
With hot water.

Thank you, benson.

Okay.

Leary: uh, guys?

Leary?
Sergeant leary?

Yes.

Is that you?

Yes.

So did you get
The screwdriver?

Uh, no, sir.

I just want to let you know
That I'm going on my break.

Okay.