07x20 - Three on a Mismatch

[bunniefuu]

[ humming and singing
Indistinctly ]

Ooh!

Boy, you sure are
In a good mood.

You've been bopping
Around here all morning.

I'm still wound up
From last night.

I went dancing
At the club truffaut.

Oh, just thinking about it
Gives me a rush.

I hear that place
Is definitely happening.

Oh, you heard right,
Honey.

Just between you and me,
That place is hunk city.

Good morning.

Hi, dad.

What are you two ladies
Giggling about?

Mrs. Cassidy was telling me
About the club truffaut.

From what I hear,
That place is nothing more

Than a glorified
Pick-up joint.

I wouldn't be caught dead
In a place like that.

Why not?

Dead men don't disco.

Come on --
Loosen up, endicott.

If you keep holding in
All your steam,

Sooner or later your teakettle
Is going to explode.

Oh, hi, chief.

Good morning.

Oh, benson.

Sit down and chat
For a while.

No, I'd better not.

I got a meeting with
The majority leader.

Speaking of that meeting,
I need to talk to you.

Sit down for a minute.

I really don't have --

Oh, no, no. Sit.

So, what did you do
Over the weekend?

Well, on saturday night,
Diane and I went to a party,

And sunday we went to
That new fish restaurant.

You know, I had
A fascinating weekend.

Clayton, please --

Benson's on
A very tight schedule.

You know, we never seem to
Do anything together anymore.

Yeah, well, maybe we all ought
To go out together sometime.

Well,
That does sound like fun.

The only trouble is

I've kind of been off
The dating circuit for so long,

I wouldn't know
Who to call.

Well, sir,
I have a suggestion.

Hi, there.

Hi, clayton.

See, you've met someone
Already.

Hi, there is the name
Of a magazine.

It's a very popular way for
Swinging singles to get dates.

Oh, clayton.

That sounds so cheap
And tacky and desperate.

It works for me.

I don't know.
I don't know who I'd call.

It's been a long time.

How long's it been?

Oh, well, there was
Nothing much in the 's.

Nothing?

Much.

[ laughs ]

Had quite a hot streak there
In the 's.

[ laughing ]

With a track record
Like that,

If we can get you a date
This year,

You'll go sailing into
The 's.

Governor: benson?

Benson?

[ dog barks ]

Down, down!

Benson?

Oh, there you are.

Listen, I got that date,

And I made all
The arrangements,

So we'll see you saturday.

Good, good.

Oh, wait a minute.
No, no.

I can't go saturday.
Diane's out of town.

Oh, she is?
Oh, darn it.

We'll just have to
Make it a threesome.

No, no, no, no.

I draw the line
At threesomes.

I'd feel a little awkward
Being a third wheel.

All right. You don't go,
I'm not going.

It'll be all your fault.

I'll probably sulk
For weeks.

Well, I can see
We've broken through

That thin veneer
You call "Maturity."

I'll come along.

Okay, good.

And, listen, benson,
Do try to scare up a date.

It could be awkward
With you being a third wheel.

Why didn't I think of that?

So, who you gonna get?

Yeah, who?

Who indeed?

Yoo-hoo.

Benson, here is that
Budget report you wanted.

I'll just double-check
The figures.

Miss kraus?

Mm-hmm?

On saturday night,

How would you like
To go out to dinner?

What? Me?

Why, I would love to,
Governor.

Thank you.

Benson will pick you up
Around :.

Benson?

Okay, kraus, here it is.

You know that pink dress
You got

That you don't look
That bad in?

Wear it.

I'll pick you up
Around :,

And please,
For goodness sakes,

Try to beef yourself up
A little by then.

Now just
A darn minute here.

Do you think I go out
With every tom, d*ck,

Und benson who asks me?

You are wrong!

I am very choosy,
Und I don't choose you.

I don't choose you, either.
The governor chose you.

You're doing it
As a favor to him.

If you don't do it,
He's gonna sulk.

Okay, I'll go...

Just for the governor.

But remember,
This is not a date.

It's not a date.

And this does not make us
Bosom buddies.

You got that right.

So we might just as well
Make the best of a bad deal

Und maybe we'll even have
Some fun.

The only way I'll have fun

Is if you fall off the back
Of the truck on the way there.

You really like me
In that pink dress?

Get out of here.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

[ slow-tempo music plays ]

Hello, foxy mama.

Can I buy you a drink?

I have a drink.

[ laughs ]

My dear, the beverage
You're imbibing

Would be more appropriate
At a bowling alley.

Get lost, gutterball.

[ clears throat ]

Now, what would you say
If I told you I was rich?

What would you say

If I told you
I work for the irs?

Goodbye.

Hello, foxy mama.

Endicott?

[ stammers ]

M-mrs. Cassidy.

I thought you said
You wouldn't be caught dead

In a place like this.

Whoo, wait till I tell
The people about this!

Yeah, well,
It's your word against mine.

Yes, and who are the people
Going to believe?

All right, all right.

What will it take
To buy you off?

Oh, get lost, endicott.

You're chasing away
All the real action.

Oh, my --
No, no, no!

What are they doing here?

It looks like
The governor's not coming.

Let's go.

Sit down here.

I don't like this
Any better than you do,

But we might as well
Make the best of it.

Yeah,
I guess you're right.

So, you want to dance?

Yeah, I'd love to,

But I don't want
To leave you here alone.

Oh, my...

Benson, miss kraus,

I would like you both
To meet doctor --

Elizabeth.

Benson.

Why, dr. Burnett!

Gretchen, it's very nice
To see you again.

Oh, you all know
Each other.

Yes, elizabeth
Was my doctor.

Well, what do you know
About that?

Allow me.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, benson.

Yeah.

[ clears throat ]

Sit down, babe.

So, you were
Benson's doctor, eh?

Ja, und that's not all.

They even dated
A few times.

Dated?

I was really hoping
It would work out.

But it didn't.

You went back
To your husband, right?

Husband?

Uh, yes,
But we're divorced now.

Oh, well,
What do you know about that?

You're divorced,
And benson's engaged.

Engaged?

Yes, yes, I'm engaged.

Well, congratulations.

You two make quite
A lovely couple.

Oh, yes,
We're very happy.

It's a match made
In purgatory.

In your dreams, smarty.

You wore the pink dress,
Didn't you?

Do you remember
That little greek restaurant

That you were so fond of,
Benson?

Oh, yeah, the one where
We had such a lovely time.

Well,
I had a lovely time,

Um...Being governor.

I mean, I've always
Enjoyed being governor.

There are only of us,
You know.

Unless you count
The virgin islands.

Oh, excuse me,
Miss kraus.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

Ooh, hi, handsome.

Who, uh, me?

I think
You're kind of cute.

I love a man
With a majestic nose.

Uh-huh.

Well, thank you.

Let's dance!

No, no, no, no.

You know,
I really love this music.

Anyone feel like dancing?

Well, I'm not too up
On these new dances, but...

What about you, benson?

Let's get it on, yes!

Great!

Look at him!

Who does he think he is,
Ginger rogers?

You mean fred astaire.

No, I mean benson.

I don't believe the way
He's coming on to elizabeth.

That you, clayton?

What? Uh...Benson?

What -- uh,
I must be sleepwalking.

Just ignore me.

Governor:
Look at him,

Trying to charm her
With his footwork.

I didn't really notice
His feet.

Yeah, well, I did.

I would like to cut in,
Please.

Yeah, thank you.

Would you excuse us
For just a minute?

Oh, sure.

What are you --

I want to talk to you.

What do you think
You're doing?

Let's go back to the --

No, no, no.

Right here.

If you think
I'm going to dance with you,

You're crazy.

Listen, benson,
I know what you're doing.

You can't pull
That innocent stuff on me.

You're trying to move in
On my date.

Oh, come on.

I'm merely dancing
Out here with her.

Well, you better
Watch yourself!

You better cool it,
Twinkle toes!

Twinkle toes?

Mrs. Cassidy,
What are you...

Never mind.

Hi.

Hey, elizabeth.
What are you doing here?

I'm having lunch with
The governor,

And I thought
I'd stop by and say hello.

Oh, what a drag.
I'm on my way out.

We just can't seem to get
Our timing right, can we?

No.

Well, benson, you'll always be
A special friend.

Oh, what a nice thing
To say.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Hey.

What's going on?

Nothing, nothing.

Nothing, huh?

Not what it
Looks like to me.

Boy, you just can't keep
Your hands off her, can you?

What is going on?

I can't believe this --

Trying to take over
My girlfriend.

Now, wait just a minute.

You're being ridiculous.

Oh, I am, am I?

Well, what do you mean,
Your girlfriend?

Listen, elizabeth,

Why don't you wait outside
For a second

Till benson and I
Get this thing settled?

We'll talk about it
Over lunch.

No, I don't think
I like your attitude.

And, suddenly, I don't think
I like the idea of lunch.

Elizabeth, listen...

Well,
I hope you're happy.

You finally managed
To drive her out of my life.

What's gotten into
You lately?

You're acting like
A banshee.

Why would I want to drive her
Out of your life?

You want her for yourself.

That's ridiculous.

Oh, yeah?

How come you were
Dancing with her that way

At the club
The other night?

What way?

You know what way.

We were dancing.
We were having fun.

It was your idea
To go to the club.

What about that fox-trot
That was going on

When I came in here?

We were hugging.
We weren't dancing.

Governor, we're friends.

Benson, I know the temptation
Of a beautiful woman

Can do strange things
To a man.

It certainly has you tiptoeing
Through the twilight zone.

Let me tell you something,
Benson.

There may be a little snow
In the furnace,

But there's still plenty
Of fire on the roof.

What'd you say?

You think
My ship has sailed.

No.

You think the cow's out
Of the barn.

No.

You think I'm too old

To go out with somebody
Like her.

No.

Well, think again.

Have either of you seen
The governor?

Ja, ja --
He knocked off early.

He went to happy hour
At the club truffaut.

Again?

You should see the way
He dresses when he goes out --

It's a cross between
Don johnson

And ward cleaver.

Can I talk to you for
A minute, benson?

Could you stop at
The club truffaut

On your way home tonight?

I'd sleep a lot better
Knowing you talked to him.

I don't want
To get involved in this.

Oh, for crying in the beer --

If you won't do it,

I'll go over there
And talk to him.

Hold it, disco duck.

I'll go.

Oh, good, because
I really don't like

Going out alone
At night after dark.

You shouldn't be afraid
Of the dark, kraus.

You should consider
The dark your friend.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

Governor?

Hey, man.

What is happening?

Mind if I join you?

Hey, what,
Am I coming apart?

[ laughs ]

Name your poison.

Well, I'll have whatever
You're drinking.

Another set up here.

Two shirley temples?

Yeah, you got it.

Coming up.

So, I'm just taking
A breather from dancing

And fighting off
The females.

Looks like
You've succeeded.

You here to make fun of me,
Benson?

No, no, I came here

To try to talk
Some sense into you.

I'm having a rotten time.

Nobody's paying
Any attention to me.

Did you ever think

This new image of yours
Has scared them off?

Well, isn't this
The "In" way to dress?

Well, it is if you're
A -year-old rock star.

You look like
A miami milkman.

I guess I do look
A little silly.

Well, "Silly" isn't quite
The word I'd use.

I'd say it's more like,
"Ridiculous."

Absurd --

Like I'm trying
To look half my age.

Everybody here is probably
Laughing up their sleeve at me.

They would be if they didn't
Have their sleeves rolled up.

Admit it, benson.

I'm being a fool.

Okay, I admit it --
You're being a fool.

I'll never find
The right woman.

You want to know
What I think?

What?

I think you can't
Rush romance.

You got to plant the seed,
Tend the soil,

Let the tree grow
Before you pick the fruit.

I did kind of go right for
The peach, didn't I?

[ laughs ]

Yeah, the point is,
You know, just relax.

Be natural.
Be yourself.

And gargle.

There you go, sport.

Want to spring
For some beef jerky?

Maybe next round.

[ laughs ]

Listen, benson...

I want to apologize

For giving you such
A hard time over elizabeth.

No, forget it --
I understand.

Man, listen, what do you say
We flee this firetrap?

Don't you want to finish
Your drink?

No, no, no.
I'm getting a sugar rush.

[ laughs ]

Elizabeth.

Benson.

Gene.

Well, I'm glad
We ran into you.

Well, you've certainly changed
Since I saw you last.

Yeah, well,
It's a long story.

[ laughs ]
It's the only kind he knows.

You know,
Most men your age

Get stuck in their
Three-piece-suit rut,

And it is so stodgy
And boring.

You like this on me?

No.

But it's a nice attempt.

Let me see.

[ up-tempo music plays ]

You know,
I really like this song.

Do you want to dance?

Sure.

Get lost, kid.

I work alone.