I first noticed the oil pressure dropping when I ran Fleischman to the Kenai Peninsula yesterday.
He's got some sort of
public health thing over there.
I don't know-
immunizations or something.
Oh, yeah?
He is so annoying.
"What's that?" Every time we hit an air pocket
- "What's that? What's that?"
I spent the whole time just trying to find
an altitude where he wouldn't hyperventilate,
and by the time we touched down,
I was a nervous wreck.
Okay, Mitch, crank it.
Uuh! Oh!
Stop, stop! Whoa! Oh, man!
- Pushrod seal maybe?
Well, it came from the cylinder.
Oh, man, we have to tear
the whole thing down.
Miss O'Connell?
Yeah.
Miss O'Connell, my name is Kevin
Wilkins. This is Roger, Jimmy. Hey.
Hey. We're the Senior Class
Committee at Cicely School.
- Yeah?
- Actually, we're the senior class at Cicely School.
The three of you?
Well, there used to be Lisa French, but
she moved, which is why we're here actually.
See, homecoming is this weekend,
and we don't have a homecoming queen.
So, we were wondering,
if it's not too inconvenient, would you do it?
Me? Homecoming Queen?
Well, why don't you ask a junior?
We could, but there's
only two girls in the class,
and they're twins, and they're, you know...
Total kibble.
Homecoming Queen
is supposed to be a babe.
This is a joke, right?
Come on!
Car wash!
Come here!
Hey, Cicelians, Chris in the Morning
wishing everybody a happy homecoming.
Join me this Saturday at the south fork of theJefferson
River for the big end-of-the-season fly-fiyhing match...
between the Nipnuk Whales
and your own Cicely Marmots.
Helming up the Marmots effort's
gonna be team captain Kevin Wilkins,
a Cicely senior who last week
caught a 24-inch rainbow...
with seconds remaining
to b*at Talkeetna at the buzzer.
Freshman fish-off is gonna be at 8:00 a. m., followed
by junior varsity at 10:00 and the varsity at 2:00.
Now, it says right here- I'm not makin'
this up- "Be there or be square. "
I don't know what that means, so I'm not
takin' any chances. I'm gonna be there.
Yes?
- Mrs. Miller?
- Yes.
I'm Amy Patterson
of the Internal Revenue Service.
Yes, I have all my records ready-
uh, fiscal year 1991.
Good. Let me tell you why
we're conducting this audit.
Every tax return we receive is assigned a
score based on a computer-generated formula.
Your Schedule " C" was flagged
because it failed to correspond...
to the normal range of scores
for your type of business.
Do you understand me?
Uh-huh.
Now, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. In
fact, it could be the government owes you money.
It happens.
But what we need to do together, is to
come up with some reasonable explanation...
for the anomaly.
Can I pay for this, Ruth-Anne?
Oh, um-
Please.
That it, Walt?
Yeah. The old Ford
finally gave out on me.
That's $55.42.
I got a few beaver here
and some wolverine, otter.
That one's fox.
Oh, that's a beauty.
Tell you what. You bring me one more fox and
two or three weasels, and we'll call it even.
Deal.
Okay.
Tell me, Ruth-Anne, do you
have many customers like him?
What do you mean?
Barter traffic-
people who trade goods
or services for merchandise.
Oh, all the time.
Well, it must be a struggle for you,
tracking inventory.
Oh, not really. I just put it on the
shelf and hope somebody'll buy it.
So when do you pick
up the sale? Excuse me?
How do you record the sale?
I didn't sell it. I traded it.
Look here, Ed. I want to show you
something. Take a look at that.
"The five wealthiest men
in the interior. "
Number one again, Maurice.
Congratulations.
No, no, no. Look-
Look down here at number four.
"Lester Haines. "
Don't pop any buttons now.
H- He's one of your people, Ed.
Lester. He's Haida-
actually, Raven Clan.
Uh-huh.
Well, whatever.
The point is, he's the first Indian
to cr*ck the big five.
Oh, yeah?
- Any lessons in that, Ed?
- Uh, well-
Any thoughts of,
uh, perseverance?
Opportunity?
You're not on my wavelength,
are you, son?
My point is, that, uh,
no matter how disadvantaged a group a
person's born in, it's no barrier to success.
You keep your head down, your
aim high, and you will succeed.
That's the story here.
Right. Uh, don't let me
keep you from your work.
Hey.
Hey, nice match last week.
Thank you.
Hook 'em, Kevin.
All right. Hey, Kevin, that was a
hell of a finish against Talkeetna.
Well, thank you, Mr. Vincoeur. Dave?
Dave, pour this man a Pepsi on the house.
He's gonna take us all the way
to the state finals.
How's the casting arm? Oh, it's great.
Hey, is, uh, Miss O'Connell around?
Yeah, Maggie? She's right over
there. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Vincoeur.
Oh, hi, Kevin.
Hi.
Hey, sit down.
Hey, sorry to bother you.
I just wondered if, uh,
you'd made up your mind yet.
Right.
This weekend, huh?
Here you go.
Thanks.
Well, you know,
I was thinking, and, um-
Well, I'm just a little too old to
be Homecoming Queen, don't you think?
No. Not to me.
Well, not old old.
Just that-
Well, it's just a little
silly, isn't it? Well, I guess.
Do you really want me to do
this? Yeah. I'll do anything.
I'll shovel your drive this winter.
I'll take out your trash.
You don't have to do that.
Okay. You'll do it? That is so
great! This is really a big help.
Thanks, Miss O'Connell.
Maggie.
Maggie. Great.
Maggie! Telephone!
It's Dr. Fleischman.
Oh.
Ahh, Fleischman?
Hello? O'Connell,
have you seen my Pearlcorder?
Hey. What?
I- I can barely hear you.
My little tape recorder.
I use it to take notes.
Yeah. What about it?
It may have fallen out
of my pocket in your plane.
Huh. I didn't see it.
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah.
Look, uh, why? Is it important?
Yeah, it's very important. It happens to be very
expensive. It cost me a couple hundred dollars.
Well, huh. You know what?
You didn't pack it. I bet you anything.
Look, listen to me. I need the thing
to take patient histories, okay?
So buy a pencil.
O'Connell, please, it's
gotta be in your plane.
This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't pulled
that little roller coaster act over the mountains.
Oh, so now it's my fault? You
rolled that thing on purpose.
Fleischman-
Fleischman, you're such a child.
I mean, God! You want
- Wait, you're breaking up.
Fleischman, let me tell you somethin'. This is just
ridiculous. I don't know where your recorder is.
- Why would I want to keep your recorder? Hello?
- Hello? Hello?
Fleischman? Fleischman?
Hello, hello, hello?
O'Connell!
Hello? O'Connell? O'Connell!
- Lester.
- Maurice.
What brings you
to this part of the tundra?
Oh, I just thought I'd pay
a little informal visit,
congratulate you
on cracking the top five.
Thanks. You wouldn't believe the number
of calls I've been getting. I imagine.
Is that a Tansey? Yeah. Myra
surprised me with it last month.
Please, have a seat.
Oh, thanks.
I was just over at the, uh,
Hanson Realty Company,
and, uh, Bob tells me you're gonna
unload your Salmon River property.
- Thinkin' about it.
- Well, when we talked about it a year-
no, no, two years ago,
you weren't interested in selling at all.
Yes?
Hi, big guy.
What do you want another pony for?
Oh, I don't think Freckles is lonely.
He has you and Heather
to keep him company.
Well, I think Mommy's right.
If you still feel this way when
it's your birthday, we'll talk about it.
Deal?
Okay, pal, we'll see you tonight.
So, what happened to change your mind?
Why do you want to sell now?
Maurice, what usually changes
your mind? You got a better offer.
Group from Portland-
ophthalmologists mostly.
What's their idea?
Same thing you talked about-
luxury resort, fishing, hunting.
And they're overpaying, believe me.
Not necessarily. It depends on their financing
package. If you get good terms and you get-
Excuse me, Mr. Haines.
Yes, Anacleto?
Fabric samples for
the screening-room chairs.
First choice, second
choice. Thank you, sir.
- Raven Clan?
- Anacleto?
He's Filipino.
Oh.
Well, like I said,
I only dropped by for a minute.
You and Myra ought to come over
and have dinner sometime,
look at some of
my new acquisitions.
I've, uh
- My tastes are not as modern as yours, but I've got a nice Giacometti, and some early Mondrian.
She'd love it.
Oh, good.
Uh, how about tomorrow night? I'll, uh
- I'll invite Bob Hanson over to round out the table.
We'll talk some more
about this Portland deal.
Oh, I think we're free.
Good.
Uh, 8:00?
Yeah, 8:00's fine.
Hello? Yes.
Yes, how are you?
March 22, S. T.,
window washing, $ 18.00.
Oh, Stan Tinley.
Uh, his Snogo business was in the dumps,
so I let him wash windows for groceries.
Basically another non-recorded
transaction. Is that it?
What is the big deal?
No cash was involved.
Nevertheless, an economic event did take
place. Well, I'd hardly call it an " event. "
Ruth-Anne, your failure
to record such events...
has had the net effect
of lowering gross receipts,
inflating costs of goods sold,
and ultimately resulting in
deficient payment of taxes.
And I must advise you...
that if the total deficiency
exceeds 25% of the total income,
you could be subject
to charges of felony fraud.
Felony?
Excuse me.
May I use your phone?
Yeah, sure.
And this Tinley fellow
- Did you pick up that $18 of groceries on his 1099?
If not, he's underreporting
his income.
Gerald?
Yes, I wanted to talk to you.
I thought we agreed to keep
everything from the children.
"Not poison the well. "
Isn't that what you said?
Oh, don't give me that!
You are so full of crap!
Gerald, he is only eight years old!
He cannot make up
his mind for himself.
And I was not on tranquilizers.
Do you hear me?
It was hot. I was tired.
I lost grip of the wheel.
Well, you must have
told him something, Gerald,
because my own son is asking me
if I'm a drug addict!
Oh, I know what you're doing here,
and it's not gonna work.
I am not the bad parent.
I am not the one who can't keep
it in his pants!
Now, where were we?
March 22.
Yes. Eighteen dollars,
window washing.
I got some zircon earrings
and matching pin...
that are gonna
go dyno with that.
Oh, I don't know. This
slip-What do you think? Mega.
I think I'm just gonna take it back. Why?
Because this is silly.
What?
Well, you know, buying a new dress for
homecoming when you're 31 years old.
Besides, don't you think this is too
low in the back, back here? No way.
Show 'em some skin.
When else am I gonna wear
something like this?
All those guys are gonna
be bustin' out of their jeans.
Yeah?
You look hot.
Really? Well, maybe I could
find a place to wear it-
Maurice's party
and Founders' Day maybe.
Ooh, whoa. Major backflip. You okay?
Ooh, yeah. Huh!
Did I ever tell you that I was Homecoming
Queen when I was in high school? Me too.
Really? I was captain
of the cheerleaders too.
Those were fun times.
I bet the entire varsity
wanted to get in your pants.
Mm-hmm! Well, I had seven guys
ask me to the homecoming dance.
That Kevin Wilkins is cute.
He is, isn't he?
What?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
I just think, you know,
maybe he has a tiny little crush on me.
The way he avoids eye contact
and can't really get his words out.
- It's really very sweet.
- You gonna do him?
- What?
- Nice buns.
Shelly, he's 17 years old.
They have laws against things like that.
Maybe.
But that age, they keep going and going-
just like the battery bunny rabbit.
How about those earrings?
Well, Ed, you're gonna have to hold down the fort. I'm
stuck in inventory hell all day with the dragon lady.
Ed, did you hear me?
Oh. Sure thing, Ruth-Anne.
- Boy, I bet he's rich.
- Who?
Oh, theJolly Green Giant.
All those vegetables.
But is he happy?
Does he really like
working in the valley?
He sure seems happy.
Ho-ho-ho!
Is something bothering you, Ed?
No. Well, I was just wondering,
you know-
What? Well, is it all right
not to make a lot of money?
Oh, of course it is. There are a lot of
things in life more important than money.
'Cause I was talkin' to Maurice, and he said
That's your problem.
Ed, don't listen to that old blowhard. He
may have money, but that's about all he has.
You're going to be an artist, remember?
Okay.
Thanks, Ruth-Anne.
You're welcome.
Ruth-Anne, this boat-
Is this a hobby of yours?
Oh, heavens, no. Oscar Shumway brought that
in lastJune for 600 feet of irrigation hose.
Did you include it on
your '92 inventory? Kayak?
Yes. Its value
could be the basis for-
Never mind.
What about the hose? How much was
the cost of the hose? I don't know-
$200 maybe.
And, uh, this?
Uh, what's the value of this?
Oh, that's part of an old guitar
that my son Rudy played.
He broke it
trying to imitate Hendrix.
I don't know why
I keep it around.
Tell me-Tell me
about this Rototiller here.
Well, uh, Ray White brought that back
because he couldn't make the payments.
It cost me about $300, I think.
There should be
a receipt someplace.
Oh, here it is.
Oh, God.
Mrs. Patterson?
Oh, please go ahead.
It was, uh,
$317.42.
What do you call a man who sleeps
with his own marriage counselor?
He said things were getting better.
We were making progress.
That's why he wanted the extra sessions.
Oh, God.
The next time you're on
the Côte d'Azur, forget St. Tropez.
You gotta travel inland to a little
hillside burg called St. Paul-de-Vence.
You didn't think it was too touristy? No.
We prefer Biot.
Small, forgotten.
It just exudes Provence.
I'll have to put that on my list.
Say, Lester, Maurice and I were talking
earlier about your Salmon River deal.
Yeah, you still selling to those,
uh, eye doctors in Oregon?
I talked to my attorney this afternoon.
He's advising me to take their offer.
That's because he hasn't
seen my offer. Maurice.
I decided to run something up the flagpole,
see if anybody saluted.
I've, uh, redrawn the lines...
on those lots...
that your friends in Portland
are talking about.
See what you think
of these numbers, Lester.
Not fair, Maurice. Not while
we're having such a nice meal.
Point well taken, lovely lady.
Cheers.
Coming.
Don't you look handsome? Come on in. Okay.
This is for you.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Yeah.
Well, my mom told me
I should pin it on you,
so-
Ow! Oh! Oh, gosh. Look,
maybe I can help, you know?
All right. These things
can be tricky sometimes.
Okay, let's see.
There.
How's that?
Awesome.
Whoop.
- Hello?
- Did you find it?
Fleischman, I looked, I didn't see it. All right?
Look, I can't talk right now. I have company.
- What?
- I have company. I'm going out.
- Did you look under the seats?
- Fleischman, I'm hanging up now.
- No, O'Connell
- Look, believe it or not, my life does
not revolve
around you or your personal electronics.
All right? Now, sweet dreams.
Wait! Wait!
Ready?
Twelve years of marriage.
Two children.
You know what I said to him? I said,
"How could you do this to
me, you son of a bitch?"
He said his therapist
gave him a standing ovation.
His therapist! His lover!
Ohh, in your worst fantasy-
you know, when you think your husband
might be sleeping with somebody else-
you think, well, you know,
she's at least attractive,
probably young.
I mean, for the love of God,
what else would be the point?
Where's accounts receivable
for August?
Mrs. Patterson, I don't think you're in
any fit condition to go on with this audit.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
I really am. I'm fine.
Well, I'm wrung out.
Can't this wait until tomorrow morning?
I do have a room
at the bed-and-breakfast.
What?
I don't want to be alone.
A lot of guys only pay attention
to their cast, you know?
No. The key is really
in the retrieve.
You can throw
30 feet of line out there,
but what's the point
if you don't know how to play it?
Exactly.
- Pretty good acoustics.
- Yeah, very good.
All right, all right, all right.
Can I have your attention?
Okay, time for the king
to crown the queen.
I'm just gonna-
Oh, all right.
put it on, all right?
Yep. All right, smile!
All right, everyone.
Time for the Coronation Dance.
Let's hear it for Kevin and Maggie,
front and center.
Yeah!
Uh, you dance good.
Oh, thank you, Kevin.
So, uh, what's with you
and Dr. Fleischman?
Excuse me?
You know, the phone call.
Oh. Nothing.
Ohh. Are you two
seeing each other?
Me and Fleischman? No, no. God, no. We can't
even stand being in the same room together.
So, uh, you're a free agent?
Kevin, we need to talk.
Um, you know, you're really charming,
and- and I'm flattered
by all this attention.
But, you know, you're gonna
be going away next year,
and- and you may not
believe it now,
but you're gonna
just meet lots of girls-
you know, girls your own age.
Well, I already have a girlfriend.
You do?
Well, yeah.
She's a freshman at " U" Dub.
Oh.
Wait. You think I have
the hots for you?
No, no.
You know, I was just making conversation about
you and Dr. Fleischman, I mean. Of course.
We just think it's too bad a great looking
woman like you is alone all the time, that's all.
What do you mean, " we"?
The guys.
Well, everybody knows
you don't go out that much.
But I guess that's just because
you must like it that way, huh?
Right. Yeah. Independent, on your own.
- Absolutely.
- Well, that's good, 'cause
Well, some of the guys
think you're just lonely.
Do- Do you like this song?
I've always liked this song.
Hmm.
Kevin is very sweet, and the last thing in
the world I wanted to do was break his heart,
but I just had to tell him that his
feelings and his expectations about me were-
were inappropriate, you know, and
- and unrealistic, frankly. sh*t him down, huh?
Well, I tried to be as gentle as possible,
and he took it pretty well.
Of course, he was hurt. You know, boys that age can
be so vulnerable. But give him time. He'll get over it.
You bring fabric softener?
Yeah.
You know, Shelly, this whole homecoming thing is just
ridiculous. I felt so foolish with those kids, you know?
So I just told 'em they can get
somebody else to light their bonfire.
Maggie, the queen
is supposed to do that.
Well, look, I didn't want to do this
in the first place. You know I didn't.
It's just that they insisted.
Still, you said you would.
Well, let me ask you
something, Shelly. sh**t.
Why is it people assume I'm available
for every ludicrous stunt in town?
Because I don't have a boyfriend? Because I'm not
married? Because I don't have kids? What, what, what?
They think that just because I don't
have a man in my life, I'm lonely?
Yeah, I guess.
It is possible to have a life
without a man. It just is, you know.
Look, I have a rewarding job, lots of
friends, lots and lots and lots of hobbies.
Hobbies?
Yeah.
Look, the point is,
Shelly, I'm not lonely.
There's nothing missing in my life.
I'm utterly and completely fulfilled,
and, hey, you know, I do not need
to be Homecoming Queen.
Oh.
Oh, hello.
Good morning.
Thank you for letting me use
your couch. It's no trouble.
I'm sorry.
I've never done this before.
Forget it. Have a seat.
No, really-
to drop all that on you.
Sometimes it's easier
to let down with strangers,
I guess.
How long were you married,
Ruth-Anne? Forty-one years.
It wasn't all bliss.
Was he fooling around on you?
- No. I was.
- You're kidding.
I packed parachutes in England during the
w*r, and I fell in love with an R. A. F. pilot.
He was k*lled over the channel.
When I got back to the States...
Bill knew something was up,
but he never pressed.
You mentioned parachutes.
Gerald's father took up skydiving...
at the age of 62.
k*lled himself.
Fell into the Golden Nugget
parking lot in Laughlin, Nevada.
And I was there for Gerald.
I pulled him out of it.
It wasn't the Prozac.
It wasn't the loss-and-grief workshop.
And now he tells me
that I'm smothering him-
that I'm overdetermined
for nurturing.
Is that what you think too?
Well, I- I really wouldn't know.
But it does seem as if he's had
a fair amount of tragedy in his life.
Is that what I'm attracted to?
Oh, it's so pathetic.
It's never that simple.
I'm sure he has other qualities.
And the homecoming
countdown continues, Cicely.
Don't forget, we got
the big car parade tonight at 7:00,
followed immediately by the pep rally and bonfire
at the council ring outside the V. F. W. gym.
Let's give the Marmots a great big hand. If they
can't do it, no one can. All right, Marmots, all right!
I'm glad to see you got
the team spirit, Stevens.
What, you got some kind of feline in your t*nk?
You've been whistlin' "Running Bear" all morning.
Have I? Oh, well, I guess it
must be a testament...
to the, uh, health benefits
of closing a deal.
They say it releases endorphins,
you know.
Just like crystal meth. What, you and, uh, Lester
Haines been sh**t' up some capitalism together?
Oh, yeah. It couldn't have
turned out any better.
I'm going down to Yellow Kn*fe
to sign the papers now.
You should have been there, Chris.
You really should have been there.
I got Lester to take less money
for essentially the same land...
that those investors from
Portland were after. How?
Well, I redrew the boundary lines. See, uh,
I threw out everything that I didn't want.
Lester and I went back and forth,
but Lester believes that
he's got a better deal my way,
because he gets to keep a big chunk of real estate
that'll only appreciate when my fishing resort's a hit.
But what he failed to realize was...
that I control
the only road through there.
I control the access.
That's good, right?
Yeah, that's good.
If Lester or anybody else wants to develop that piece
of property, they've gotta come through me to do it.
- Pay you.
- You got it.
Hold down the fort, son.
I'll be back.
Okeydokey.
$ 15,297.01.
November.
$14,962.41.
Okay, December receipts,
and that's it.
$ 17,432.23.
- Uh, Amy?
- Yeah?
Uh-
What?
Nothing. Never mind.
Okay.
Now, all I have to do
is revise your Schedule " C,"
and your S. E. Schedule,
put it on a 4599,
and I'll be out of your hair.
You'll be back in business
in no time.
Hmm.
Problem, Maurice?
Yeah, there seems to be a little glitch here.
You've left out Parcel 1-A.
- Uh, you know, the one where the big bend in the river is.
- Did I?
Yeah, it's right here
in the first paragraph.
Well, that wasn't part
of our agreement, was it?
The hell it wasn't.
Take a look, Maurice, under " exclusions.
" That's your handwriting, isn't it?
And your initials?
Well, yeah, but-
but I meant to, eh-
Yes?
No, Phoenix.
It's been covered.
Right.
Now, look, Lester.
It's a simple mistake.
Any fool can see that I intended
to leave out, uh, Parcel 2-B.
I didn't know that. Look, why
would anyone want a fishing lodge...
that only has 15 feet
of riverfront property?
What am I supposed to do, let people line
up and take turns wettin' their hooks?
Now I'm confused. You thought you were
buying that entire stretch of river?
Yeah. Maurice, including that parcel would
have pushed the purchase price significantly.
This is a problem.
I suppose we could hold
a separate negotiation for it.
Oh, no. Uh-uh.
No, sir.
If Parcel 1-A is not included,
I'm not buying a foot.
But you already have, Maurice.
Those are just notes.
Those are just numbers.
I'm not a lawyer, but this has
descriptions, amounts, signatures.
I believe that's a letter of agreement. If you think you're
gonna hold me to that, you've got another thing coming, my friend.
- What is it, Anacleto?
- Mrs. Haines wants to know-
- Look, can we finish this discussion?
- Yes, sir.
I don't have the power
to hold you to anything, Maurice.
That's for the courts to determine...
should it become necessary,
which I sincerely hope it doesn't.
We shook hands on this last night.
What are you gonna do about this?
I don't know, Maurice.
What are you gonna do?
You've hardly touched your chicken
salad, Ruth-Anne. Too much celery?
Oh, no, it's fine. I bet that
I. R. S. chick's got you bummed.
Didn't like her the moment I
caught wind of her. Thin lips.
She made a mistake.
- A mistake?
- Figuring my income.
I was giving her December receipts,
and I told her 17,400 and some,
and she entered 14,700 and some.
- Well, let's see, that's, uh-
- That's a $2,700 error in my favor.
Bitchin'. Yeah, what's
the problem, Ruth-Anne?
- Well, shouldn't I tell her?
- Tell her?
Are you crazy?
When did Uncle Sam do anything for you?
Well, I- I suppose it isn't
really that much money.
Well, not to them.
But to you it could be the difference
between a good year and a bad one.
What are they gonna spend it on anyway,
more paper clips?
Smart bombs.
Oh, I don't know.
Somehow, it just seems like-
- Cheating?
- Yes.
Well, uh, it's not cheating
if it's their mistake.
- Damn right.
- Most often, it's in their favor.
It's kinda like basketball. You're drivin'to the
hoop. Guy from the other team slaps the ball away.
It's a clean block. Ref calls a foul.
What are you gonna do, tell him he's wrong?
You're gonna step up to the line,
and you're gonna take your sh*t,
'cause next time the call
could go against you. For sure.
It's all a game.
Well, do we have a contract or not?
I haven't actually practiced law
in years, Maurice,
but it's common knowledge
under the statute of fraud...
that an agreement for purchase or sale
of real property must be in writing.
All right, cut to the chase.
Yes, this is a contract.
I've seen sketchier deals written
on napkins that were upheld in court.
So I'm screwed, right?
Not necessarily.
You could try " mutual mistake of fact. "
What the hell's that?
That's when both parties inadvertently agree
to an erroneous contract.
Clear grounds for recision.
Sounds good to me.
Only you'd need
Lester to go along,
and since your boner redounded to his
benefit, we certainly can't count on that.
There's gotta be something.
- The wine.
- What about the wine?
- Lester didn't touch his last night, did he?
- No.
Left a full glass of'61 Petrus sittin'
on the dining-room table over there.
Really ticked me off. I don't
think he had a drink all night.
Uh-uh. What did you have, Maurice?
Me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, uh, my usual
- a couple of fingers of Glenlivet before dinner,
a few glasses of wine with dinner,
some Sauternes.
Wait a minute. If you think I was
drunk, you're barkin' up the wrong tree.
- Sounds like you were over the limit to me.
- I was in complete control.
Okay.
All right, make your point.
I was thinking " unfair advantage. "
I'm a potential witness.
And Lester willfully took
advantage of your inebriated condition...
by getting you to sign an agreement,
which he knew at the time to be...
misstated, illogical.
No court in equity
would let that stand.
Are you saying that I should
stand up in front of a judge,
and say I let an Indian get me drunk
and pull the wool over my eyes?
Look, I have a reputation
to uphold, Hanson.
No, I- I will not stand up...
and tell the world that I was bamboozled
by Nanook of the North!
How would you explain it,
Maurice?
I took my eye off the ball,
that's all.
He had nothing to do with it.
In that case, I'd say you've bought
yourself a big piece of property.
Hey, Maggie, they got a picture
of you at the homecoming dance.
Here.
No, thanks.
Well, you look real good.
Bet that kid fell in love with you.
Did you take my
13/16ths socket wrench?
No. Oh, uh, is this your tape recorder?
It was jammed under the seat of your plane.
Oh, it's Fleischman's.
The patient is a male Caucasian,
complaining of painful suppurating lesions...
on the left buttock
and in the perianal area, period.
He's had furuncles
in the area previously,
and was studied thoroughly for diabetes
and other systematic problems...
that might contribute
to the infections, period.
Uh, no underlying diathesis
was discovered, period.
The treatment will be complicated because the
patient has developed an allergy to penicillin,
and we'll have to start
with other antibiotic therapy-
probably Vancomycin, period.
Plan routine blood count,
repeat blood sugar...
and urinalysis
for completeness sake, comma,
sitz bath T. I. D., comma,
culture material from lesion
for type of organism and sensitivity, period.
Will defer Vancomycin therapy
until bacterium-
Okay, these are
our Schedule " C" adjustments,
the total and the corrected tax.
Following through down to here, we pick up
an additional amount for self-employment.
Now, applying all of this
against last year's return,
we come up with a total deficiency,
plus interest,
of $3,156.39.
Now, if all that's agreeable,
please sign here.
You made a mistake, Amy.
I'm sorry?
In your numbers. Well, I
always check my figures twice.
Uh, not on that
- in the gross receipts. You misentered December.
I did.
Mm-hmm.
Well-
we're gonna have
to make that adjustment.
That's 12% of 2,700.
That comes out to
an additional...
$1,026, plus interest.
Okay. Please sign there.
Okay.
Now, this is your copy.
Thank you.
And if you have any questions
on future returns,
please don't hesitate
to call our field office...
for any kind of assistance.
Good-bye, Ruth-Anne.
Good-bye.
To the Cicely Marmots!
Whoo-hoo!
I know when you wade through that river
tomorrow, you're gonna make us proud.
So here's to taut lines
and full creels!
Yeah!
Those Nipnuk Whales are gonna swim home
with their tails between their legs! Yeah!
Go Marmots!
Marmots!
Go, Marmots, go Marmots,
go Marmots, go Marmots,
go Marmots,
go Marmots, go Marmots,
go Marmots, go Marmots,
go Marmots, go Marmots.
He b*at me, Chris.
He b*at me
on a level playin' field.
Lester?
Yeah.
I had him in my sights, and all of
a sudden he was right on my tail.
Well, that's pretty big of you,
Maurice, you know?
I mean, admittin' to defeat to a-
a man you consider
inherently inferior.
Hello?
- Fleischman?
- O'Connell?
Yeah, hi, it's me.
What's up?
Well, I- I was just calling
to see how you are,
I guess, you know.
How I am?
Yeah.
Where are you? I hear
something pounding or something.
Oh. It's, uh-
Just must be the connection.
So, um, how's the survey going?
Oh, okay, I guess.
I found a little gastroenteritis up here.
There seems to be a bug
in the water. Really?
Huh. So, you gonna try some,
uh, antibiotic treatment therapy?
- Antibiotic therapy?
- Well, yeah, you know, like, uh, Vancomycin?
No. Vancomycin is for
gram-positive organisms.
Enteric disease is usually
caused by gram-negative.
Really? I thought I'd go
with tetracycline and, uh,
some symptomatic therapy-
you know, like Kaopectate.
- Hmm.
- Hey, why are you so interested in this all of a sudden?
Well, it's interesting... sort of.
We need to address the fundamental problem of the
water supply. That seems to be the big problem.
You know, there there's a nonspecific dysentery
now, and unless we clean up the water...
we could be in for something
a lot more serious. Uh-huh.
I mean, there- there's all kinds
of giardia and sparganosis, amebiasis.
Who knows?
Who knows!
What? I said, you're right. Who knows?