01x37 - Quest for Pizza/The Painting

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!". Aired: September 4 – December 1, 1989.*
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Revolves around Mario and Luigi, two Italian-American plumbers from Brooklyn.
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01x37 - Quest for Pizza/The Painting

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey Paisanos!

it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!

We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game,

we're not like the
others who get all the fame.

If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double,

we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the

brothers Unh!

H-hooked on the brothers.

Gimme gimme, gimme gimme.

Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat,

get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats.

You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the

others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on

the brothers.

To the brink!

Unh!

Unh!

I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers!

The brothers!

The brothers!

[Luigi:] Yo Mario, I am so glad
that we're finally getting to

our spring cleaning here eh?

Yea we've got so
much junk down here,

it's a wonder that
we can find anything.

Ha ha.

Like lunch.

Let's take a pizza break.

You're right I'm starved too.

Yo, what's that?

Oooh, it must've
been here for ages.

Boy, thank you.

Yo, Mario!

This could maybe
be worth something,

we oughta have it
appraised by an expert.

Yea, and then we should
find out how much it's worth.

Yo, yo!

It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game,

found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain,

lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land.

Comin' atcha
with the plumbers,

you'll be hooked
on the brothers!

Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving,

they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving.

Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers,

they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers!

Unh!

Plumber's
log number .

We had arrived in Cave Man
Land searching for Muga the

Medecine Woman, who we hoped
could help us set the Mushroom

Kingdom free.

But King Koopa
showed up first,

and was causing
dinosaur sized trouble.

[gasps]

Mousersaurus Rex.

The ugliest,
slimiest, rottenness--

[roars]

Yeow!

Faster, faster!

Wow, wow, wow, Eiii!

Aiiiiii, Aiiiiiiii!

[Mario:] It's King Koopa,
he's gone caveman crazy!

It's Alley Koop to
you spigot head!

You're up Plumber's
Creek without a plunger!

Yipe!

Ohhh!

[Mario:] Quick, quick,
get away from him!

Faster!

Faster!

I've been snake bit!

Mario?

Mario, wake up!

I sure fixed his faucet,
and now I'm gonna fix yours!

Quick!

Pick him up!

We gotta get out of here!

Alley Koop Pack, att*ck!

Ahhhh!

Oh no!

We're trapped!

[gasp]

Oof!

Amada masho potato.

What's that about
mashed potatoes?

The rough
translation: scram this way!

Blast it all, they got away!

[chattering]

It's Muga the Medicine Woman!

Maybe she can help Mario.

[Toad:] I hope she
takes credit cards!

On yay a oh ma.

On yay a fanya [gasp]

Oya!

Ooga la manya.

Yeah I know, he's
hard to look at.

But can you help him anyway?

Ugga ma.

ugga ma!

Look, it's Mario!

He doesn't look any
better in the picture either.

Forget the stupid pictures!

What about the real Mario?

Pepperoni cheesecake,
meatball sandwiches,

garlic ravioli and
prosciutto spaghetti!

Wake up Mario!

Please, wake up!

[crying]

Mario's worse
off than I thought!

Ugga ma, ugga ma, ugga ma.

Ah ma pizza.

Did she say pizza?

Ugga ma meemah.

Luigi, it's you!

[Toad:] She wants you to
get a pizza for Mario!

That'll make him well?

But I didn't bring any pizza.

Well, no problem,
we'll just order take-out!

But Luigi, there aren't
any pizza parlors here.

Gee, Caveman Land
really is primitive!

We'll have to make our own!

Ooga booga!

Ooga booga!

Oh, easy for you
to say ooga booga!

You don't have to
milk this thing.

Hurry, Luigi.

We need milk to make
cheese for Mario's pizza!

Right.

Mario would do
the same for me.

[moo]

Sufferin' spumoni!

Ahhhh!

Oof.

Yuck.

Run!

Forget running!

When in Caveman Land,
do like the cavemen do!

When in Caveman Land,
do like the cavemen do!

How does ground
acorn pizza crust sound?

Not too good
unless you're a-- what?

Squirrel!

Doesn't anything come smaller
than jumbo colossal around

here?

We'll just have to make do.

Let's get outta here!

Whoever said: it's
as easy as pizza pie,

was nuts!

We got everything but
tomatoes for the sauce!

Pickin' tomatoes is easy!

Yikes!

It's that retro
reptile, Alley Koop!

You're a memory, Mushrot!

Oh!

Uh oh!

He's blowin' his snake stack!

Wow wow wow ei ei ei ei!

How'd they get away?

Hmm.

Alley Koop'll find
those faucet freaks yet!

Mario's lookin' bad!

But not near as
bad as that pizza.

Well it's not Pappy's
Pizza from Brooklyn,

but it's just what the
Medicine Woman ordered.

Cook it quick!

Mario needs that pizza!

[gasps]

Cave re-routers here!

Holy macaroni!

The pizza!

It's ruined!

And the fire is
ruined too, pipesqueak.

And no fire, means no pizza!

Which means your
brother Mario is finished!

[laughs]

Appa nanya.

Kaput!

She says--

No
need to translate!

Mario's gondola if
he doesn't get pizza,

fast!

Ugga pizza!

Ugga pizza!

It's not pizza if
it's not cooked!

No fire, no pizza!

[Princess:] It's a Fire Flower!

Bunya, Alley Koop.

Baconey tomato sandwich.

What's that about a
bacon and tomato sandwich?

She says Alley Koop
has a Fire Flower,

but he keeps it
under heavy guard!

If we can get it,
we can save Mario!

[Koopa:] This is what
they'll be after!

They can't have
it, understand?

That putrid little plumber is
soon to be ancient history!

I mean to keep him
that way, understood?

[growl]

Understood!?

[growl]

Then get going, now!

I've had smoother
rides in a cement mixer!

Caveboy you said the Fire
Flower was just up this hill,

five hills ago!

Mucky glana
pankicki oo maple syrup.

What was that about
pancakes and maple syrup?

He said: over the next hill!

Hold it Caveboy!

We can get there faster
with a little bodywork!

Hey!

Wait for me!

Yeow!

[gasps]

[growling]

Uh oh!

Whoaaa!

Oof.

Heeeelp!

Drop 'em, you louse-asaurus!

Ooooh!

Look!

there's the Fire Flower!

Burn stone Caveboy!

We got a pizza to cook!

That pipe dreamer thinks
he's takin' my Fire Flower!

I'll Koop his
plans in the butt!

Alley Koop Cave Pack, att*ck!

Whoa!!

Oof.

[gasps]

Ahhhhh!

Yeow!

Ouch!

Ouch!

[gasp]

Prepare to cave
in, scalebait!

Oh!

Ow!

Oh!

Eee!

Oh!

Ow!

Oh!

Hot!

Hot!

Hot!

Yeow!

[sigh]

Much better.

Super work, Super Luigi.

Oh no!

Time's almost up!

We have to cook Mario's pizza!

Muga banana spleeta!

What was that
about a banana split?

He says: we'll
take a shortcut.

Okay pizza, do your stuff!

It's workin'!

Mario!

You're back among the eating!

Eating?

Sounds good to me!

Mmmm.

What?

Only one pizza?

Ow ooga bugga
bugga, waooga ma.

[laughter]

You know I hope this guy you
called knows something about

this painting.

Well of course he'll know.

I called the best art expert
around: Howard Stevens of

Lifestyles of the
Poor and Unknown.

[ding dong]

Come in!

Good afternoon gentlemen,
are you Mario and Luigi?

Yes we are!

I'd say you'd fall
into the, poor category.

Oh right this way Howard!

Why are we yelling?

Well, what do you think?

Astonishing!

This is the Second to Last
Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci

Roonie.

It's one of the rarest
paintings in history.

You're puttin' us on.

This painting disappeared
over years ago.

After Da Vinci
Roonie painted it,

his student Leonardo Da Vinci,
stole his idea and painted the

famous Last Supper.

One day this painting
disappeared without a trace;

it was believed
to lost forever!

That is, until now!

Hold onto your hats boys!

This painting is worth, over
one hundred zillion dollars!

Yea, yea, yea, but how much
can we get for the frame?

I can't believe
we're gonna be so rich!

Yea, we'll be able
to afford anything!

One thing you
can't afford to do,

is not watch these
scenes from the next,

Legend of Zelda.

This is the
Triforce of Wisdom Link,

the evil Wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.

[laughter]

[Zelda:] Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land

forever, you
must help me Link!

Hey, for you Zelda?

Anything!

I want that Princess!

Once I place this jewel
control around her neck,

the Princess will
do anything I say,

even marry me!

[laughs]

Ohhh!

Hey, hey!

Hey put me down!

I'll put you down
alright, down and out!

So get to it hero,
and no more naps ok?

Well excuuuse me, Princess.

A hundred zillion dollars?

What are you gonna buy Luigi?

Are you kidding Mario?

I want a
vacation in the Bronx,

I want to ride
in a rented car,

I want to buy Mama
a fake fur coat.

How about you Mario?

The world's largest
pizza, with extra cheese.

That's right, think big boys!

Someday you may even appear
on my show: Lifestyles of the

Poor and Unknown.

Hold it!

What is this I see?

[Luigi:] What's the matter?

Oh dear boys, I'm afraid
this painting is not worth,

one hundred zillion dollars!

Alright, ok, give
or take a zillion.

We're still rich huh?

No Luigi, I'm afraid
this painting is not worth,

diddly squat.

[Mario:] Good joke Howard.

[laughs]

Unfortunately Mario
I'm completely serious.

This, is a bogus,
Da Vinci Roonie.

As long as it's not a phony.

Right, who painted it?

This worthless piece of art
was painted by an imposter:

Leonard Da Vinci Mahony!

All these names, these
names, I'm confused.

Did you say Da Vinci Mahony?

Exactly Mario.

Leonard Da Vinci openly stole
from his teacher Da Vinci

Roonie, but his fellow
student Da Vinci Mahony,

was even worse!

You see, he stole Da
Vinci Roonie's ideas,

and signed his teacher's
name, on his paintings.

But how could you tell
it was a Da Vinci Mahony?

Ah ha!

In all his paintings, Da Vinci
Mahony always managed to slip

in a likeness of his
uncle, Roy Pompasoni Mahony.

Ok, exactly how much
is our painting worth?

Fellas, read my lips:
this painting is worth,

nothing, nadda,
zilch, zero zip!

That much huh?

You couldn't trade this
painting for a bag of empty

aluminum cans.

If you wanted to get backstage
at a BJ Thomas concert,

this painting would be
worth nothing as a bribe.

If you found a Pong videogame
at a garage sale for ten

cents, and all you
had was this painting,

you would leave empty handed.

Tss.

This is not worth a
whole lot, get my drift?

Ok, we don't' have to have a
hundred zillion dollars on the

nose!

Look boys, I hate to see
anyone go away with nothing

when they came so close
to being rich and famous!

How would, seven
dollars be for the frame?

We'll take it!

That's the
spirit Luigi, Mario.

I'm Howard Stevens, hoping
all your champagne milkshakes,

and caviar pizzas, come true.

Who you talking to?

'Til next time everybody!

Do the Mario!

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ You've got it! ♪

♪ It's the Mario! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪

♪ come on, it's time to go! ♪

♪ Do the Mario! ♪

♪ Take one step,
and then again. ♪

♪ Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪

♪ ♪ Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪ ♪
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