02x02 - A Knight's Tailfeathers

[bunniefuu]

[whistling]

♪ Camp Splinterwood ♪

♪ Our summer home ♪

[driving rock music]

♪ For catapulting!
Slingshotting! Getting thrown! ♪

♪ Campers rocket through the trees ♪

♪ Cannonballing where they please ♪

♪ Zipping in the air ♪

♪ Crashing everywhere ♪

♪ Archery, dodge-bird, Borb tennis ♪

♪ It's absurd! ♪

♪ Here they come!
Red, Stella, b*mb, and Chuck ♪

♪ Flying fast!
Look out, duck! ♪

♪ All your life you'll be glad
You had this ♪

♪ Angry Birds Summer Madness! ♪

[laughter and chatter]

[all cheering]

[shrieks]

Whoa!

[rubber bands stretching]

[snapping]

Whoa! Agh!

[birds cheering]

[trumpet fanfare]

All hail King Neiderflyer!

Your king can't hear you…

You all know the drill.

Every year on Medieval Weekend,

the jousting champion
is declared next year's king.

And since I cheated last year
and won fair and square,

as king, you all have to do what I say.

Now kneel.

[all grumbling]

[sighs] Sir Terence,
a little motivation, if you please.

[growling]

[birds shrieking]

Huzzah!

That's more like it. [groans]

Now, you!

Uh… me?

The king requires you
to be my royal footrest.

Ohh. Will nobody save us
from this tyranny?

[Red] Fear not, friend.

That nobody has arrived!

What the-- Rod?

Yes! 'Tis I, Sir Red of…
that cabin over there!

And me, his mighty steed!

Isn't this awesome?

I'm here to challenge you
for the title of king.

[all gasp]

Whoa.

[laughs]

You? Challenge me? Surely you jest.

What? I called Jester this year.

I've even been practicing. Check it out.

[laughing]

Ow! Ow! Wha-huh!

Listen up, Neiderflyer.

You may have your knights and your throne

and that gigantic bouncy castle there--

which I admit is really cool--

but you can't make this weekend
all about you.

I'm here to return this weekend
to the campers!

-[birds cheering]
-Red! Red! Red! Red! Red!

[sighs]

As much as I love chilling on this throne,
I love humiliating you even more.

Challenge accepted, Sir Rod,
or should I call you Sir Dud?

Huzzah!

Remember, Neiderflyer likes
to tilt to the left

right before impact.

Keep your free wing down and your lance up
all the way, and don't forget to--

Yeah, yeah.
Hit him and don't get hit. Got it.

[stretch, snap]

For the good of Camp Splinterwood!

-[crowd cheering]
-[rubber bands snapping]

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[all gasp]

Uhh… did I win?

The joust? Uh, no.

But you're way ahead
in the mud pie eating contest.

Thanks for the workout, Rod.

And now I'm going
to make an example of you.

Let this be a lesson to anyone
who dares challenge the king.

And, just in case anyone else
has any funny ideas,

I'm going to have Rod publicly pelted

with last year's leftovers at lunchtime.

[wheels squeaking]

[groans]

Smell you later, loser. Literally!

[laughs]

This is the worst Medieval Weekend ever!

Yeah, it's not going
so great for me either.

This wasn't supposed to happen.
Why is Neiderflyer still the king?

[shrieking maniacally]

Chuck! Come back!

Let him go, b*mb. He's gotta work
through this in his own weird way.

What are you doing?

We've gotta save you
from getting drenched in leftovers.

I'm gonna challenge Neiderjerk,
and I'm gonna win.

Well, you did teach me
everything I know about jousting.

If anyone can b*at him, maybe it's you.

Hey, b*mb, wanna help me
overthrow a king?

Leadeth the way, Sir Stella.

Have fun avenging me.

[both grunting]

Bravo!

Ah, a king's hard work is never done.

Camper, more grapes!

Yes, Your Neiderlency.

Hey, Neiderjerk!

-[gagging] Huh?
-I am Sir Stella of…

Uh…

a different cabin than Sir Red.

-And I'm here-- Chuck?
-[grunting]

You're jesting for Neiderflyer now?

Uh! How could you?

Hey, it's a feudal economy.

Doing what I can to put food
on the table for little Jerry.

Isn't that right, little Jerry?

-[clanging]
-[grunting]

[whimpers]

Ugh. Whatever.
You ready for round two, Neiderjerk?

That's King Neiderjerk to you!

Where are my royal g*ons?
Go defeat Sir Stella for me.

-Rod couldn't defeat me.
-[g*ons shouting]

-What makes you think you've got a chance?
-[g*ons grunting]

[gasps]

Huzzah!

[birds cheering]

Ooooh…

You're all out of g*ons, Your Majesty.

You got the guts to face me yourself?

[scoffs]

[growling]

[dramatic music]

Retreat! To the bouncy castle!
Out of my way!

[panting]

Bring the throne.

Ho ho!

[all grunting]

Ow!

Down with King Neiderjerk!

If we get rid of him before lunch,
we can save Red

and enjoy the rest of our weekend!

Who's with me?

[all cheering]

Onward, faithful steed.

[all cheering]

[triumphant music]

-[rumbling]
-[inquisitive grunts]

[birds shouting]

What do we do now?

Bring the slingshots.
We've got a castle to storm.

Ah, I've always wanted to say that.

Oh, this is a disaster.

I defeated Rod. We were done with this!

Will a juggle cheer you up, Your Majesty?

No! There's no time!

Okay, just a quick one.

[grunting]

Oh! Agh! [whimpers]

[laughing]

Gets me every time.

[Stella] Last chance, Neiderjerk!

[Chuck] Ohh!

Surrender, or we'll make you surrender!

Ha! Do your worst.

This castle is made of the toughest,
highest quality, uh, bouncy material.

You'll never break through.

But if you scratch it,
there goes the deposit, so…

Repel the peasants!

[wheels squeaking]

[clanking]

Fire!

[gasping]

Bring out the heavy a*tillery!

[cooing]

[grunting]

[hatchlings] Whee!

[all shouting]

-Uhh!
-Whoa-ho!

Whoa!

[birds grunting]

[grunting]

The walls are too high!

Uhh!

And they're throwing hatchlings at us!

Get the ladders and grappling hooks!

We're going castle climbing.

[all shouting]

They're climbing the walls!
Bring out… the leftovers!

-Come on, everybody--
-[splat]

[laughing]

Don't forget to save some room
for dessert, losers!

Don't give up! We can still win!

Aaaah! Oof!

We'll never get through!

[growling]

[all shouting]

Stella's in trouble!
Terence, we have to help her!

[inquisitive grunt]

I know you're loyal to Neiderflyer,
but is he loyal to you?

After all, he's safe in his castle
and he left you here in the cold.

[thoughtful growl]

He doesn't care about you.
He just needed someone to be his muscle.

But I know that
your biggest muscle is in here.

I-- I'm pointing to my heart.

Come on, big guy. Do the right thing!

[all groaning]

I think we might have to retreat.

You should listen to your horsey
and quit before you end up like Rod.

-It's Red!
-[gasping]

And your days are numbered!

[Terence grunting]

Terence! What are you doing?
You work for me!

[Terence grunting]

Smash the gates, Terence!

[grunting]

-[grunts]
-Whaaah!

-[crash]
-Ouch.

I think Red was hoping
you were gonna smash the gates, big guy.

But I'll take it from here.

Huh?

[gentle grunt]

What?

No!

[air hissing]

Whoa ho!

[air squeaking]

Ha ha! We did it!

-[all cheering]
-All right!

-[all grunt]
-[hatchling] Huh?

-[all shouting]
-Come back here, you cowards!

I'm still your king!

Whoa-oh!

Victory dance!

Hup hup hup! Yeah!

Whatever. This isn't fun anymore.

I've got to wash the day-old
mashed potatoes out of my feathers.

Three cheers for Stella!

Camp Splinterwood's new queen!

[all] Sir Stella! Sir Stella! Sir Stella!

Neiderflyer's reign of terror
and smugness is over!

Although… now that I'm the queen…

…you guys gotta do everything I say.

Right?
[snaps fingers]

Well, those are the rules,
but you wouldn't--

-Whoa!
-[Terence growls]

Oof!

[theme music playing]