02x12 - True Bromance

[bunniefuu]

[theme song playing]

♪ Party ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ Who's the king? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Get down for the get down ♪

-♪ Everybody party with King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

-♪ King who? ♪
-♪ King Julien! ♪

♪ Tonight will be forever ♪

♪ Let's do King Julien style ♪

♪ Woof! ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ Y'all tell me who's the king ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ All hail King Julien! ♪

Your Majesty, I have everything marked

and ready for you to sign.

-Your Majesty?
-Very busy right now, Maurice.

Timo just hooked me up
with this magical device.

Not only does it clean my floors,

but the vibrations make my tushy tingle.

[laughing]

-[crashing]
-Oy...

Oh, what is that attached
to my King Julien?

It looks like so much fun.

No, Mort. Bad, Mort. Heel!

[grunting]

[shouts]

Yes, Maurice, you need something?

A lot of important papers to sign here,

not to mention a backlog
of other work that needs doing.

Please, Maurice,
I don't think of what I do as work.

I think of my life as a never-ending
beautification project.

Eh, I'm going to need
my royal writing instruments.

Mort, bring me my scrapbooking kit.

[blows a raspberry] Gimme a break.

Like burnt sienna is a color
anyone would ever use.

[chuckles]

Ow!

But thank you.

Now we can begin.

[drawling] J...

New color!

[drawling] U...

New color!

[drawling] L...

[straining]

[grunts]

All King Julien had to do
was sign a few papers.

A few papers!

And done.

[humming]

[laughing]

Wha...

[Mort grunting]

Burnt sienna? You useless, hideous shade.

Maurice, I want
all burnt sienna destroyed.

-Mo-Mo?
-[Mort shouting]

Ow!

The question plaguing the kingdom is

do I dot the "i" in Julien
with baby glitter hearts,

or a smiley face?

I'm afraid "glitter hearts"
and especially "smiley faces"

are outside my area of expertise,
Your Majesty.

[humming]

Maurice, you're just in time.
Wait, where have you been?

Nowhere. Just doing my thing.

You know, hanging out.

So stop hanging out and start hanging in.

I need your advice. The royal signature?

Go with the smiley face.

Okay, baby glitter hearts it is.

All righty. Whatever you want.

I'm gonna hit my hut for a napparoony.

Napparoony?

How does he know about napparoonies?

Where is he learning this stuff?

And why is he so calm and relaxed?

He did possess an uncharacteristic
degree of relaxedness.

You know, this isn't the first time

he's disappeared and come back
all happy and... "all righty."

[sighs]

Your Majesty, this mystery
calls for an investigation.

Yes, it does.

Yup, so I'm gonna go investigate.

You do it.

[hissing softly]

Target: Maurice, the king's advisor.

Uncharacteristic happiness,
cause for concern.

Could be up to something
illegal and illicit.

Terminate with extreme prejudice,
if necessary.

Target acquired!

[panting]

[hissing]

[hissing]

[gasps]

Target acting suspiciously.

Probably means he's guilty of something.

Prepare to take him out.

[hissing]

Oh, no! [gasps]

Maurice, how could you?

[hissing]

Mission accomplished!

Oh! Clover!
Stop sneaking up on me like that!

You know you can just use the door

like a normal crazy person.

It's just...

What's the word I'm looking for, Mort?

Freaky-deaky? [chuckling]

Exactly. It's freaky-deaky!

I know where Maurice goes to "get happy."

Tell me, tell me.

I just gotta know! I just gotta!

I must warn you,
you are not gonna like it.

You see, King Joey,
if we put the aqueduct here,

we should be able to pipe water

into the middle of the cheese fields here.

That's just great!

And thens we build the maze, right?

Big, gigantic maze
with lots of dead ends, right?

Er, no, Your Rat Majesty.
We're not building a maze.

No more mazes.

Right. Stupid, stupid! Idiot.

[grunting in pain]

Okay, there, Mr. Maurice.

You the smart one. You knows best.

No more mazes.

Maurice, how dare you?!

King Julien?
This isn't what it looks like.

Oh, really? It looks like
you're giving advice to another king!

Oh, well, then, it's exactly
what it looks like.

But I can explain.

King Julien doesn't want
to listen to a traitor!

Clover, the kingly mouth
would like to speak for itself.

I, King Julien, don't want
to listen to a traitor!

But I'm going to because this
has really got me confused, man.

Remember you blew up the coffee fields

to save our kingdom from Karl
and caffeine?

I don't give a rat's...

Wait, Karl? Do I know a Karl?

It sounds like an interesting name.

Is that Karl with a "C" or a "K"?

No, Your Majesty.

Remember the Karl
that's always trying to k*ll you?

You mean, Uncle King Julien?

No. But yeah, him, too.

Karl, always trying to, like,
finish you off with crazy plans.

-Ha. Crimson?
-No.

Well, yeah, I mean her as well, but Karl.

Remember Karl?

Skinny Carmine? The Yamburglar?

Bert? Patrice?

Scoop? Kendrick? Todd?

Long story short,
without Karl's evil guidance

and the coffee fields burnt,
the rats were living in chaos.

They tried to set up their kingdom.

The only thing
they were good at was mazes.

And they really weren't good
at those either.

When I found 'em, they were confused,
trapped in a maze

and practically starving.

[male rat] Guys! Over here!
I can smell it!

So I helped them set up a working kingdom.

Joey here became
the first of the rat kings, King Joey.

Welcome to my kingdom, AKA area.

By listening to my advice,

everything runs smoothly
and everyone's happy.

We sure are.

We know where all the food is now.

-Where is it again, Mr. Maurice?
-The cabinet.

Oh, okay. The food's the cabinet.

Hey, let's have a snack, boys!

[sighing in frustration]

They take everything so literally.

No, no, the food isn't the cabinet.

The food is in the cabinet.

Right. Stupid, stupid! Idiot.

Thanks, Mr. Maurice.
You's the smart one, sure.

You've gotta be careful
how you phrase things.

[shouting] Hello!

It is time for Maurice to come home, okay?

They take things literally.
They aren't hard of hearing.

They listen to me and respect my opinions.

Unlike some people!

Come on. I've respected you plenty.

Name one time.

Eh, I can name a bunch.

Like how I respected your idea
to build a trampoline maternity ward.

Boy, did those babies have fun!
And we found most of them.

Again, that was your idea.

I wanted to build a hospital
and an old folks home.

But that's how we roll, Mo-Mo.

You start with a flat, boring idea,
and I put my KJ stink on it.

Now come on, let's go home.

No.

Fine. Stay. See if I care.

You're not going to have
any fun without me.

Fine by me.

And if you're staying,

I banish you from the lemur kingdom.

You're out and you can't come back.

You can't banish me because I quit.

I banish myself.

Oh! You can't banish yourself
because I just un-banished you.

-Really?
-Yeah. So I can banish you again!

You are banished!
I banish you times infinity.

Done! KJ out.

Oh, brother.

[Mort] You never loved me!

Don't you understand?

I love you, I love you! I love you.

[blows nose]

More volume. I'm not a lip reader. Rewind!

[babbling]

Don't you understand? I love you!

Zip it! Just zip it.
You had me at "I love you!"

Uh, what's going on here?

This is the part where they kiss.

[exclaiming]

He's right, Ted.

Everyone knows, in any good rom-com,

the two characters who seem so opposite
always end up together.

Oh, like you and Maurice.

[chuckling] No! That's just ridiculous.

Can't a king watch a movie
that bears no resemblance to his own life

without hurtful rumors and gossip?

Ugh! I mean... Ugh!

I expect better from you, Ted. Unpause!

What are you gonna do? That's the formula.

Now pucker up. [kissing]

[sobbing]

[sighs, then groans]

I know what you're going to say, Amelia.

I'm too good for Maurice.

But how can I blame you for thinking that

when you're totally right?

Heh.

Uh, Amelia,
at least you'll never leave me.

You'll help me hold it all together.

What's that?

Yes? Yes, I know,
I need to get out there again.

Let the people know King Julien
is back on the market.

I'm just so afraid of being hurt.

No, no, you're right.

I've waited six hours, that's long enough.

It's time I found a rebound advisor.

Bring in the first candidate
to be my rebound advisor.

Oh!

Okay.

"Jacque Jacque de Jacque Jacque."
Hmm... First question.

Are you Mort in disguise?

[speaking in French] Sacre non! Non, non.

Yes.

I mean, oui, oui. [laughs]
I just said wee-wee.

[chuckling]

Next!

Well, hello now,
hello there, I say, I say,

I am the right honorable Chair Lemur
Table Jr. Esquire,

I say, I wanna be your rebound advisor.

I say...

[Julien] Mort, out! Next!

Get your hot, hot advice right here.

[sizzling sound]

[retches] That's too far, Mort.
Even for you.

Out, out, out.

Uh, yeah, sorry little fella.

That even freaked me out a little.

Is there anybody else out there?

Anybody at all?

I am here and ready to work!

Way to be fooled, Clover.

That's clearly Mort in a disguise.

No, sir. It's Horst.

It's a what?

Kind of a loner. Fears change.

Often seen holding a beverage.
You know, Horst?

Sounds like a freak to me.
And this is a freak-free zone!

Out. Out. Next!

[sighing] Mort, stop
with the disguises already.

Still not Mort.

Well, how can I tell?
They all look the same.

Is that Dorothy?

No, that's a man, sir.

Uh, I don't think it's your job
to put labels on lemurs, Clover.

Sheesh! That's just so wrong.

Okay, take your best sh*t,

man-woman-lemur-person, whoever you are,

what advice would you give the king?

Um... we're all going to die.

Ugh! I just... Ugh!

Way to go, guys.

With this last piece, we are done!

You're doing a bang-up job.

What are you doing?

A bang-up job.

That's what you said.

No, it was just a figure of speech.

Never mind, you're doing a great job.

Let's put the pipe in and finish, okay?

Then, we build the maze, right?

We can make lots of them really high walls

and we can hide some food
in the end of it.

But we won't know where it is.

Oh, that'd be fun.

Yeah, where is the food? I'm starving.

[sighing]

Ha!

Clover, I've been looking
all over for you.

I have a confession to make.

And I know this comes as a huge surprise,

but... I'm worried about Maurice.

Good, finally.

Very adult of you, Your Majesty.

Now, can we just go over there
and tell him how you feel?

Uh, that's a terrible idea, Clover.

If I tell him how I feel,
then he'll know how I feel.

Why on earth did I hire you
as my royal advisor?

You didn't, you hired me
as your head of security.

Oh, good, 'cause you stink at advising.

I have a brilliant plan
that will make Maurice happy.

I will sneak over to that rat kingdom
and spy on him.

Watch him secretly.

He won't even know I'm there.

That's called stalking, Your Majesty.

Ooh... Stalking! Sounds exciting.

Who wouldn't love to be stalked?

It's a way to flatter someone
without them knowing it.

Um, that's not totally how the...

That's actually the opposite
of what stalking is.

Come, Clover, there's
a former advisor out there

who has no idea how secretly flattered
he's about to get.

Again, that's-- That's not quite
how it works. [exclaims]

[exclaims in disgust]

So, Your Rat Majesty,
have any ideas today?

Thoughts? Crazy notions?

Other than a maze.

I did think about creating a maze.

[groans]

I was talking more along
the lines of a crazy, fun,

wild, outlandish scheme

that has a high probability
of ending badly

but actually turns out great

and makes everybody laugh, you know?

The way you put words together
confuses me. [exclaims]

Never mind. [sighing]

King Julien may never
have listened to my ideas,

but you know, never a dull moment.

[grunts]

Oh!

Hello, Maurice. Do you dine here often?

King Julien! Are you stalking me?

Yes, are you flattered?

Ow!

This is not what it looks like, at all.

Okay, yes it is.

Is anybody else up there
waiting to embarrass me?

What? Hey! What's going on?

You brought the entire kingdom?

Of course not.

Someone had to stay behind

to make sure
the kingdom would run smoothly.

[shouting]

[thuds]

[shouting]

[farts]

King Julien, I've told you.
It's over between us.

You have to let me go.

Never!

No matter where you go, I will find you!

I'll be right there, stalking you!

Now you're just being pathetic.

Go away! Go!

I just wish you'd disappear.

[both] Hmm.

I'm not pathetic. You are.

I just came by to tell you how happy I am
that you're not around anymore.

I'm like super happy now
and I laugh all the time.

[laughing remorsefully]

See? So there!

Bye forevs! Come on, Clover and kingdom.

We're outie 5000.

If Your Majesty could just slow down?

[sobbing]

Like he's fading right before my eyes.

Why does life's sting
have to sting so much?

A half-sting, like a hangnail sting,

would that be so hard?

[male voice]
If Maurice knew how you really felt...

That voice.

...I'm sure he'd come back.

Is it possible?

Yes Julien, it is I, Pineapple.

What are you doing here?
I thought you lived...

[whispering] upstairs.

I came because I hate to see
true friendship die.

And because I got into debt
with some bigger fruits

and they're making me
help you to pay down the vig.

I'm afraid you're too late, Pineapple.

Maurice wants nothing to do with me.

Well, have you told him how you feel?

I don't know how.
Could I tell him psychically?

That way my mouth wouldn't have to move.

Perhaps you can tell him
in a different way.

Oh... puppets!

I was thinking more along
the lines of a song.

[romantic music playing]

♪ Mo-Mo, are you out there?
Are you scared and all alone? ♪

♪ Good, I'm glad
No, that's not right ♪

♪ And I miss you
Please come home ♪

♪ Mo-Mo, how do I say this?
I'm lost without my friend ♪

♪ Who dumped me
For a bunch of rats ♪

♪ I'm sorry, I did it again ♪

♪ Oh, Mo-Mo! ♪

♪ King Julien ♪

[both] ♪ Save me from this abyss ♪

♪ We're star-crossed brothers
From different mothers ♪

♪ How did it come to this? ♪

♪ Oh, Mo-Mo! ♪

♪ King Julien ♪

[both] ♪ The kingdom feels empty now ♪

♪ I miss my buddy
My pal, my compadre ♪

♪ My life, my love, my lady ♪

Wait, what lady?

[saxophone solo]

♪ Saxophone! ♪

♪ Express my emotions
In ways that I can't do it verbally ♪

♪ Oh, Mo-Mo ♪

♪ King Julien ♪

[both] ♪ Don't let it end this way ♪

♪ If I could see you
One more time ♪

♪ It's sorry, I would say ♪

-[sobbing]
-♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Mo-Mo, You my bro-mo ♪

Do you understand
what you have to do now, Julien?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Although I still think
puppets could work--

No, no, you're right, Pineapple.

I know exactly what to do.

I'll just march right over
to that rat kingdom

and tell Mo-Mo the truth.

That I'm sorry and I miss him.

I'll say "Maurice, you complete me,"
and "I'll have what he's having,"

and "You make me want to be
a better king" and "Ditto."

And I'll say that I'm just a king

standing in front of an advisor
asking him to come back.

[laughing] Yes!

Maurice! You must have heard me already!

You came back!

Wait, you're not--

[screaming]

What's wrong, Maurice?

You look like a cheese-filled trap

just split your mother in half.

Hey, King Joey. I'm okay. It's just...

Seeing King Julien yesterday
made me realize

I really do miss him,
despite how much trouble he is.

-I'm going back to him.
-Good news! Ha!

You don't have to go back now
'cause he's dead.

[laughing]

-What?
-We k*lled him.

Let's make a maze to celebrate!

k*lled him? Why?

Because you wanted him disappeared.

You said so. I was listening.

That is not what I wanted.

It's a figure of sp-- Never mind.

You have to stop this.

That's what I want.

Stop King Julien from being "disappeared."

Stupid, stupid! Idiot.

Sorry about that, Mr. Maurice.

Maybe we can still stop it.
I put Lazy Doug on the job.

There he is. Hey, Dougie.

You do that thing with the thing
with King Julien?

I overslept so I got
Efficient Charlie to do it.

Oh, that's bad luck.

Efficient Charlie always gets it done.

He's real efficient-like.

I gotta save King Julien!
Tell me where he is!

Hey, listen, boss says disappear ya,
I disappear ya.

Hope you understand.

[muffled] No. No, I don't understand.

Well, what I'm going to do is,

I got no time to explain again.

[screaming]

I'll save you, Your Majesty!

King Julien!

Uh-oh.

I accept your apology for leaving me.

I didn't apologize, but...
I'd be happy to.

King Julien, I just--

[shushing]

Don't speak.

Bring it in, Mo-Mo.

Thanks, King Julien.

Okay, that's enough. Five second rule.

Let's go home, buddy.

Good idea. Kinda dull around here.

But, at least I know
with such a great start,

the rats of rat kingdom
will be just fine without me.

-Hm.
-[rats clamoring]

Let's build a maze--

[Julien] ♪ Oh, Mo-Mo! ♪

[Maurice] ♪ King Julien ♪

[both] ♪ Save me from this abyss ♪

♪ We're star-crossed brothers
From different mothers ♪

♪ How did it come to this? ♪

[Julien] ♪ Oh, Mo-Mo! ♪

[Maurice] ♪ King Julien ♪

[both] ♪ The kingdom feels empty now ♪

♪ I miss my buddy
My pal, my compadre ♪

♪ My life, my love, my la-- ♪