01x06 - Jimmy on Ice/Battle of the Band

[bunniefuu]

Got to blast!

♪ From here to the stars
for my candy bars ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

( panting ):
Ultra Lord's... log.

Trapped on the planet
of incredible hotness.

Water gone.

Ultra-lips chapped.

( gasping ):
Can't... hold... out...
much... longer.

( screaming )

Sheen, Sheen, please.

It's too hot.

Don't make us hurt you.

( gasping ):
Jimmy... I'm dying.

Please tell Goddard to share.

Hmm, if only there was some
thermodynamically

efficient way of cooling off.

( girls laughing )

Hi, guys.

Some day, huh?

Yeah, sure, if you like,
you know

dying and stuff, all hot.

Well, I think
it's just wonderful.

Well, do you guys
want to come in?

Yeah.
I want to come in.

I guess if
we have to.

Wait a second.

I think you forgot
one thing, Libby.

What's that, Cindy?

They have to admit
that girls are better than boys

in every way ever in all history
and forever in the future.

Uh...
Uh...

Okay. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, why not?
Hey, man.

Oh, no, no, no.

Hold it, you guys.

Listen, come on,
don't degrade yourselves.

Why not?

It's okay, really,
Jimmy-- it's hot.

Lookit, I can fix this--

I can-- it's only hot weather.

Okay, well, I'd better
apply more sunblock.

Oh, look-- it's SPF 50.

Hmm. It says
for fair to albino skin.

Sunblock.

Carl!

What?

You're a genius.

I am...

I am?

( electronic whirring )

CARL:
Well, I-I know I'm a genius,
Jimmy, but...

what exactly did I come up with
again?

Implementing your
sunblock idea, Carl.

Listen, if SPF-50 can shield
your skin from the sun's rays

then this quantumly enhanced
SPF-9000

should shield the entire town.

Oh, right!

Well, just like I planned.

( whimpers )

Don't worry, boy,
it's just sunblock.

What could happen?

( low rumbling )

( groans )

Now, once the heat flashes
and the nausea subside

I'm good to go.

( rumbling )

Jimmy, you did it!

You changed
the weather!

Ooh, intense U.V. radiation
has made me delusional.

( babbling )

I'm a monkey.

O... kay.

Let the games begin!

You ready, guys?

Yeah!
Yeah! Cool!

ALL:
Yeah...!

We need a bigger hill.

( giggling )

Here we... Oh!

I'm all right.

Here we... Ooh!

Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!

Coming at you.

Okay, Goddard.

Mm, cold.

( shivering )

How s-s-sad.

Poor N-Neutron can't have
a good t-time

unless he ch-changes
the weather.

Isn't that s-s-sad?

Libby?

L-L-Libby?

Wahoo!

I gotcha!

Yeah!

( beeping )

20 degrees, huh?

No problem, boy.

The sunblock should dissipate
in a few days.

For once,
everything turned out perfect.

( whimpers softly )

( gasps )

Leaping leptons!

Goddard, what's the temperature?

Minus 30?!

Oh, no!

I must have made
a tiny miscalculation.

( thudding )

( barks )

Carl's SPF-50.

( barking )

"Warning:
Do not quantumly enhance.

Contents may cause
second Ice Age."

They really ought to
put something like
that in bold print.

Well, it seems quiet.

Maybe Mom hasn't noticed
the weather yet.

MOM:
J-J-James Isaac N-Neutron!

Haven't we warned
you about tampering

with the unstable
structure of a
chaotic system?

Well, I-I-I...

I forgot.

Now, Jim, this is serious.

It's so f-freezing

part of your mother's hair
chipped off.

Of course, it's nothing
we can't even out

with a little chisel here...

Ooh!
Oh!

( gasps )

I hope you know
how-how-how

you're g-going
to reverse this...

this... this...

This, uh... bad weather thingy.

I do.

I will. I mean, I'm...

MOM:
Honestly, J-Jimmy, no heat

no power,
no appliances.

How will we live?

What will we wear?

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'll find a way to fix things.
I promise.

There. See, butter biscuit?

Uh, Jimbo's going to f-find
a way to fix it, that's all.

In the meantime,
we'll just have to adapt

to this hostile,
savage environment.

I better run.

Me and the other dads
are off to hunt caribou.

Spotted a big herd
up on Abner Boulevard.

Got to keep fresh meat
on the table. Bye-bye!

Holy Heisenberg, Goddard,
it really is a second Ice Age.

Oh, I just hope no one else
figures out this was my fault.

( all shouting angrily )

Thanks for telling everyone,
Sheen.

I didn't know
it was a secret.

Um... I sort of told
some people, too, Jim.

Peer pressure.

Now, now, children,
time for study group.

Okay, who has any ideas
how we can escape

being ( crows ) destroyed
by the freezing glacier

that used to be Retroville?

I know.

The glacier is obviously angry
with Jimmy.

If we feed Jimmy to the glacier

maybe it'll be placated
and depart from us.

Aw, Sheen!

Aw, come on, Jimmy, I'm just
trying to be productive.

Yeah!
Sacrifice!

Sacrifice Jimmy!

Children, children,
please!

( squawks )

My goodness!

We can't let a little nippiness

turn us into a pack
of primitive subhumans!

We must hold on to our dignity.

We must stand erect

( squawks )

look the word in the eye
and say...

take boy to glacier.

ALL:
Yeah!

I don't like it, boy.

The colder it gets

the more people revert
to their primal instincts.

We may not have much time
before it becomes irreversible.

One called Hugh.

We have hunted since
the sun was high.

Still, we have
sighted no prey.

Shh.

Looks like we got us a buck.

No, wait, it's a buck-fifty.
Oh.

Hey, it's Dad.

Hey, Dad!

DAD:
Hoo-hoo!

Look at the antlers on him.

Ooh, there's going to be
caribou chilli tonight, boys.

( chanting ):
Uk, luk, luk, yeah!

Uk, luk, luk, yeah!

Ooh... caribou!

Uk, luk, luk...

( chanting continues )

Uk, luk, luk...

Ooh... caribou!

Uk, luk, luk...

CARL:
Psst! Hey, Jimmy.

What is this?

( laughs )

This is the lair
of the Carl clan.

( snorts )

Pretty sweet, huh?

Carl clan?

Uh-huh.

This weather is perfect
for big-boned people like me

and soon the hunters
will move on.

Then we of the Carl clan will
emerge from our long sleep

and the land will belong
to the hefty!

Long sleep?

You-you mean hibernation?

Uh-huh.

And that's why
I'm bulking up on carbs.

'Cause I'll have
to feed off the extra weight

until the spring.

And when I emerge,
I will be fit, strong, and...

my sunburn'll be gone.

Sunburn.

But I thought you had on
SPF-50.

Well, I must have
sweated it off.

Hey, I'm a real good sweater.

That's it!

You're brand of
sunblock isn't
waterproof.

It dissolves
with water.

Carl, you're
a genius!

Yeah, tell me something
I don't know.

( snorts )

MEN ( chanting ):
Uk, luk, luk, yeah.

Uk, luk, luk, yeah.

Uk, luk, luk, yeah.

Uk, luk, luk, yeah.

No time to lose, boy.

We've got to find some water.

( clanging )

CINDY:
D-do you m-m-mind, Neutron?

I'm t-trying
to enjoy my... p-pool.

DAD:
Don't waste your
time, sport.

All the pipes
are frozen solid.

Sweetie, eat your caribou
before it gets hard and icy.

Mm-hmm.

Come on.

Think, think, think.

Hey, I'm a real good sweater.

Mind blast!

Of course.

Perspiration.

With its high oil
and sodium content

it doesn't freeze as fast
as ordinary water.

But I'm going to need plenty
of sweat.

JIMMY:
Gentlemen

I've selected
the three of you

as you are the
most likely

candidates
in town

whose girth
will provide

the maximum
probability

of intense perspiration.

Miss Fowl?

( squawking chant )

( chanting continues )

It's working.

( water dripping )

( water sloshing )

Uh...

I'm-I'm just not sweating.

Oh, come on, Carl.

You can do it.

The whole town's depending
on you.

You'll be a hero.

Really?

Okay.

( inhales )

( grunting )

ALL:
Yeah!

( all sniffing )

ALL:
Ew!

( all cheering )

You did it, child of she
who is my woman.

Now you've given us
the gift of the sun.

( sniffing )

If only I could
give these guys

the gift of
roll-on deodorant.

( sniffing )

Whoo!

Uh, does anyone have
a scented towelette?

And that's how
the sesame-encrusted breadstick

came to the New World.

Any questions?

( soft snoring )

( bell ringing )

Class, wait!

Don't forget to sign up
for Friday's talent show.

And remember, it's not about
who's more talented.

( crowing )

It's about winning
a very large and expensive

solid gold trophy
for first place.

I'm going to do my Emmy-caliber
water-spitting routine

for the talent show.

Oh, yeah? I'm going
to blow nose bubbles.

( snorts )

That'll be cool, but you know
what I'm going to do?

Algebra, in Latin.

Hey, guys, we're
going to go sign up

for the talent contest.

You should sign up, too.

Oops, I forgot--
you have no talent.

( laughing )

We're doing Riverstomp.

Riverstomp?!

What the heck is that?

Funny you should ask.

Hit it, Seamus.

( Irish music playing )

( cheering and whistling )

b*at that, Neutron.

We will.

Carl, Sheen, and I
are taking home that trophy.

Right, Sheen?

Yeah! The trophy is ours.

Right, Carl?

No way. You girls
will definitely win.

BOYS:
Carl!

So, what are you lame-o's
going to do?

Something stupid

like blowing
nose bubbles?

Or spitting water?

Or doing algebra
in Latin?

( laughing )

Actually, uh, our band
is going to play.

You losers have a band?

Yes, we have a band

and we're going
to stomp your
Riverstomp.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Well, we'll see on Friday.

That's right.

Oh, man, did they
ever make a mistake.

With our power chords
and phat beats

they're going to wish
they never... I mean...

Hey. Wait a minute.

We don't have a rock band.

Yeah, we don't even
play any instruments.

Or have any
discernible abilities.

Guys, guys, guys.

I got it under control.

( power chord )

Gentlemen, I present

the Neutron Synchronous
Mind Instruments.

Each one
has an internal computer

that has downloaded
every note, every chord

every lick, every run, groove

rhythm, and b*at
ever played.

All we have to do
is think the sound

and the instruments
will do the rest.

So, if we think it,
we can play it?

( playing rock lick )

Oh, baby.
I'm playing, I'm playing.

( playing high-energy pop )

Wow! I can do something!

Somebody call my mom!

You kids.

Good luck tonight,
and remember--

have fun with it.

Hey, Jimmy, we need a name.

How about The Mighty
Disciples of Ultra Lord?

Oh, oh, hey, what about this?

The Science Kings.

Oh, I got a name,
and it's great.

Does it have

the word "llama" in it?

No.

Yes.

Okay. Well, um, maybe
we can mix them together.

I know--
The Llama Lords of Science.

All right!
Yeah, that's cool.

One, two, three,
think!

( playing high-energy pop )

( screaming )

( laughing )

CINDY:
This can't
be happening!

Nerd-tron actually rocks?

( shrieks )

My foot is tapping.

Libby! We got to get
out of this place.

I-I-I can't fight the music!

Snap out of it.

We can't let Carl,
Sheen, and Neutron

win that trophy.

Come on,
we've got work to do.

( crowd cheers )

ALL:
I'm going to be
the greatest rock star ever.

Uh, I'm thinking
about changing our name.

What about
The Jimmy Neutron Experience?

Yeah, I kind of like
The Carl Weezer Project.

I have to vote for Sheen
and the Sheenettes.

You guys can be the Sheenettes.

Or we can get some Sheenettes,
and you guys just stand

behind the curtain

and carry my stuff
around, and stuff.

( panting )

So tired...

Haven't eaten... or slept.

Libby, quit slacking.

You heard Neutron
and his band of nerds.

We have to be better.

We are the mistresses of dance.

Faster, Libby, faster!

Okay, so, which song
are we going to do

at the talent show tonight?

I wrote a speed metal rock opera
last night.

It's called
Ultra Lord, Superstar.

Well, see, I was thinking
more along the lines

of a fusion of techno
alternative ska

with some free jazz thrown in

you know,
to impress the critics.

I wrote a love song.

Is it about llamas?

No!

Yes.

No love songs.

We've got to kick out
the jams, dude.

Jimmy, when do I get to play
my drum solo?

If Carl gets a drum solo,
I want a bass solo.

No, no drum solos
and no bass solos.

If anyone has a solo,
it's going to be me.

You? Who d*ed and made
you rock 'n roll king?

I think
we should all wear makeup.

No makeup!

Guys, guys, what we look like
isn't really important.

Now, let's practice.

Practice? Don't tell me
what to do, all right?

Yeah, Neutron, ever since
I started this band

you've been holding me back!

No, I started this band.

You started
this band?!

You kids--
Good luck tonight

and remember--
have fun with it.

( all three growling )

( mic feedback )

Ladies and gentlemen

Welcome
to Lindbergh Elementary's

annual talent show.

( crows )

And now,
our first contestant, Nick Dean.

( crows )

( clicks tongue )

( girls screaming )

The boy's one of a kind.

Aw, pukin' Pluto,
where is he?

Hey, way to show up

five minutes
before we go on, Sheen.

Wa-wai-wait, excuse me.

From now on,
you will refer to me

as "The Artist
Formerly Known as Sheen."

Mm-hmm. No, he never
sings back-up.

Always sings lead.

Here, what's this?

I have to share
a bloomin' dressing room

with you two blokes?

Carl, why are you talking
like that?

Oh, no, no, no,
please refer all inquiries

to me image consultant.

Yes, yes, no, yes.

Oh, that's right.

Big calendar sh**t
coming up.

JIMMY:
Your what?!

Hey, hey,
what is this?

I specifically requested
dolphin-safe doughnuts!

I refuse to perform

until all my ridiculous demands
are satisfied!

Fine,
we don't need you.

Right, more time
for me drum solo.

What's wrong
with his throat?

( Irish music ends )

( applause )
Thank you.

Let's see those boneheads
b*at that.

Oh, that was nice

but I think
Jimmy and his friends

will be even better.

Yeah, they better be.

I paid 125 bucks
for these tickets.

Hugh, this
is a free school function.

Duh! Darn scalpers.

I want a drum solo!
You can't just have

everything you want.

I want a behind-the-scenes
documentary

tracing my amazing ride to fame,
while revealing

several humiliating skeletons
in my closet.

Oh, I can't believe
I even let you two in my band!

Your band?
Yes, my band.

If it wasn't for my instruments

you'd be blowing nose bubbles
and spitting water.

Oh, yeah?!
Yeah!

Well, here's what I think

about your stupid instruments.

Hey!

You just destroyed
my instruments!

Who needs
your stupid instruments

when you've got
my musical genius?

Oh, you're both
a couple of ruddy twits.

That's it!

( all growling )

You kids--
good luck tonight

and remember,
have fun with it.

( crashing )

W-wait a minute.

Sheen and Carl,
what are we doing?

Well, I was
about to strangle Carl.

Yeah, and I was
going to slap Sheen

in the back
of the head.

Look at us.

We're best friends

and ever since
we started this band

we've been arguing
and fighting.

We're so obsessed
with becoming rock stars

that we've forgotten
the real reason we did this.

To b*at Cindy and Libby!

( all yelling ):
Yeah!!!

Llama Lords of Science...

( crows )

...you're on!

( all gasping )

We can't go out
without our instruments.

They'll laugh at us.

They'll write unkind things
about us in our yearbooks.

There's been a slight change.

The Llama Lords of Science
will not be performing.

( audience groans )

I want my money back!

Uh, not that I
paid, or anything.

Instead, here is Jimmy, Sheen,
and Carl doing...

( crows )

something else.

( clearing throat )

Observe.

( inhaling deeply )

( high-pitched whining )

( panting )

( audience gasping )

AUDIENCE:
Ew.

CARL:
Aw, cheer up, guys.

Eighth place
isn't so bad.

Carl, there are only seven acts.

Think of it
this way, guys.

We may not have won
first prize

but at least we got
our friendship back.

I know one thing.

I'm never playing in a band
with you guys ever again.

( laughing )

Me neither.

You got that right.

( girls grunting )

Hey, guys, I got
a new name for you.

The Losers.

( laughing )

You guys walking home

or are you taking
the snot bubble?

Oh, that was
good-- snot.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you just wait
till next year, Vortex.

The Llama Lords of Science
are going to reunite.

Yeah, and I'll do my drum solo.

No drum solos.

Right, no drum solos.

But a bass solo from The Artist
Formerly Known as Sheen.

No, none of that either.

I want a drum solo!