02x07 - Holly Jolly Jimmy

[bunniefuu]

Gotta Blast!

♪ Into the stars
goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With a super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

Okay, for my Christmas
show-and-tell,

I brought something that's truly
full of magic and wonder.

MISS FOWL:
How lovely, Carl.

You brought a bag of, uh...

What is it?!

Okay, well, last Christmas Eve,

I put out a plate of Cheese Nips
for Santa, right?

And the next morning,
this what all that was left.

Behold, the magic of Santa!

( kids grossed out )

Excuse me, Carl,

but, um,
how do you know

your parents didn't eat
the Cheese Nips?

( snorting )

My parents are on a high-fiber,
low-Cheese-Nip diet.

Miss Fowl, can we have some
clarity on this very nebulous

and highly speculative issue
of Santa Claus?

Jimmy, stop being
such a Mr. Science-head

and learn
to enjoy Christmas.

Maybe I can teach you how
using the magic of song.

( Christmas melody begins )

( crows )

♪ There's a glow by the fire ♪

♪ As I sit and perspire ♪

♪ I'm cozy and snug,
I sip from my mug ♪

♪ Basking in the warmth
of Christmas Day. ♪

( crows )

♪ We get gifts from relations,
checks in big denominations ♪

♪ Laptops and things. ♪

♪ Gadgets that ping. ♪

♪ Basking in the warmth
of Christmas Day. ♪

♪ These feelings that
you speak of are subjective ♪

♪ All I want is
something that is real. ♪

♪ Christmas joy should be
your one objective. ♪

♪ Last summer I was bitten
by an eel. ♪

ALL:
Huh?

♪ Kids eat treats in profusion ♪

♪ They need treats
for the choosing. ♪

♪ The punks lay low. ♪

♪ Their hearts all aglow. ♪

♪ Basking in the warmth
of Christmas Day. ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Your answer's more elusive
than it should be ♪

♪ I run into this problem
every time ♪

♪ How could a guy that fat
fit down a chimney? ♪

♪ How could he survive
the Arctic clime? ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Happiness is the reason
we delight in the season ♪

♪ Science is fine,
but don't waste our time ♪

♪ We're basking
in the warmth... ♪

♪ I can't concur. ♪

♪ Basking in the warmth... ♪

JIMMY:
♪ But where's your proof? ♪

ALL:
♪ Basking in the warmth
of Christmas Day! ♪

( Miss Fowl crows )

That was fun!

Now, let's do a hot salsa number
about Arbor Day.

Excuse me, but you people still
haven't answered my question.

Carl, how can a man
with 50-inch waistline

fit down a standard
20-inch chimney?

Well, uh...

How could Santa have survived
for over 500 years

in an environment
of minus 20 degrees Celsius?

Um, uh...

I submit to you that
there's only one explanation:

there is, in fact...

no Santa Claus!

N-n-no Santa?

( screams )

( kids berating )

Jimmy, what is
your problem?

Nice going,
Scrooge-tron.

Don't tell me you all
believe in Santa?

That's not the point.

You didn't have to hurt
Carl's feelings.

Well, I-I didn't mean to.

I'm just looking for
some straight answers here.

I guess I'll just have to look
somewhere else.

Why, of course
there's a Santa, Jimbo.

He's a jolly old man with
a white beard and a lazy eye,

and every year he removes
asbestos from the attics

of all the good
little boys and girls.

( giggling ):
Oh, Hugh, you're thinking of
Mr. Hingis,

the housing inspector.

You're right.

Jimmy, darling,

Santa's not something
you can prove with science.

He does exist because
he's real in our hearts.

Whoa!

And he has pixie dust,
and he can fly.

( machine beeping )

Thanks for coming over, guys.

Say, Jimmy,
you're not
going to stomp

on Carl's dreams again,
are you?

Oh, that's okay,
Sheen.

Now that
I've had some fudge,

I feel much better.

You look better.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings,
Carl.

I just didn't want you
to be disappointed

by impossible wishes
like, well, like I was.

What do you mean?

Well, two years ago

I wrote Santa asking
for a core sample

from Dwarf Star NG738.

I wanted it
more than anything ever.

When I opened my presents
on Christmas morning...

no dwarf star.

That was the saddest day
of my life.

( laughing )

Sheen, what's so funny?

Isn't it obvious,
Jimmy?

You were just naughty that year!

What are you talking about?

Didn't you almost
destroy the Earth?

That's not
the point.

Jimmy was naughty!
Jimmy was naughty!

Ugh!

I didn't want to do this,
but you've placed me

in a scientifically
untenable position.

Vox, initiate
reindeer scenario 8.20-B.

This animatronic model
exactly parallels

the aerodynamic potential
of the average reindeer.

Observe.

Unable to fulfill
the requirements

of Bernoulli's
Principle,

it quickly plummets
to the Earth--

as would Santa.

But-but Santa's reindeer
are magic.

Yeah, he feeds them
special kibble

laced with jet fuel.

( Jimmy groans )

Look, guys,
I've run the numbers.

There is no Santa.

Well, if it's written
on the blackboard,

I guess it must be true.

I'm sorry, Carl.

Oh, that's okay, Jimmy.

( sniffling )

At least now I won't be hurt
like you were.

Ow!

Sorry, Jimmy, I-I sat
on your scanner thingy.

( bells ringing )

I've never seen
a pattern like that.

Carl, what's in
your back pocket?

Oh, just my bag of Cheese Nips.

SHEEN:
Ha!

There's your
hard physical proof.

That snack is crawling
with Santa's mojo.

JIMMY:
Snacks don't have
DNA--

although the saliva
on them might.

Santa's saliva, yay!

Hold on, hold on--
we can't prove that

short of traveling
to the North Pole

and scanning
for the same pattern,

and we're certainly
not...

To the North Pole!

Yay! We're going
to see Santa!

SHEEN:
Shotgun!

Ugh, I have to work on
my communication skills.

CINDY:
I love opening
presents early.

I love rewrapping them

and pretending to surprised
on Christmas morning.

( both laughing )

Oh, hey,
what's that?

Looks like another

boneheaded
Neutron experiment.

He's bound to do something
to embarrass himself.

Hey, let's get it
on tape

and get back at him
for making Carl cry.

( sucking )

Hmm...

nothing particularly
humiliating in here.

What's this thing?

( both screaming )

JIMMY:
Hey, hey, guys,

what's my hypercube
doing on the ground?

You have to be careful.

Infinite space condensed
into a finite area

is highly unstable.

Relax.

What could happen?

( girls screaming )

Well, that's
everything.

Climb aboard, boys.

Next stop:
the North Pole!

Santa?

Oh, San-ta?

Ah, save your breath, Carl.

There's no life
anywhere near here.

No? Then how do you explain
this sign?

The pattern's back--
and it's stronger than ever!

Come on!

If I have to float here
for all of eternity,

I'm going to be
really ticked!

There's one chance:

maybe I can shake us loose
by blasting

my "Headbangers Christmas" CD.

That's just crazy enough
to work!

( Headbangers playing
"Jingle Bells" )

( girls screaming )

"The North Pole?"

Am I dressed for it?

No.

CARL:
Santa's house.

Not necessarily.

It could be a cleverly disguised
army outpost.

Made of candy?

( angelic choir harmonizing )

( Christmas music playing )

( train whistle toots )

( machine cogs clacking )

( train whistle toots )

Words and bladder control
almost fail me!

Sid, this is Lou.

We need a crate of doll heads
over on dock 11.

Stat!

Um, excuse me.

We're here to see Santa.

Santa? It's Christmas Eve--
he's gearing up for the big run.

So, no Santa...

I thought so!

Guys, this entire set-up is
a complete sham.

But-but, Jimmy,
what about the factory?

Ha! It's just a gussied up
warehouse, Carl.

Parents order gifts here,

then use them as
positive reinforcement

for naughty
or nice behavior.

How do you explain the elves?

We prefer the term
"diminutive helpers."

Short guys with
an ear condition.

Now if I could just hone in

on the source
of this energy signal.

( all scream )

( light flash crackling,
zapping )

ELVES:
Ahh!

Ho! Ho!

Ow!

( alarm blaring )

What's that?

His atoms are scrambled?

Production is halted?!

Well, I hope you're happy, kid.

Your stupid scanner thing
broke Santa.

Broke Santa?

Oh, no!

Fellows, there is no Santa.

More likely, we've blown the lid
off their operation

and now they're jumping ship.

Don't try to weasel out this.

Now we've got no one
to deliver the toys.

Christmas is canceled,

and it's
all your fault!

Got it!

Where'd you come from?

Your infinite space cube thingy.

So, it wasn't enough for you
to spoil Carl's Christmas,

you had to go and mess it up
for everyone else!

Did you get that, Libs?

Yup-- very spontaneous.

Thank you.

Look, everything's
under control.

Yeah, right-- luckily,
I've got a five-point plan.

Go in close on
my five-point plan.

Point one:

announce Jimmy's screw-up
to the entire world.

Point two:
concoct a plan
to save Christmas.

Point three: uh...

Say goodnight, ladies.

GIRLS:
Neutron!

Sorry. Had to be done.

And as for the Christmas
presents,

I'll deliver every one.

Ha! Who do you think you are,
Santa himself?

No, that's the point.

I'm just a regular kid,

and if a kid can deliver
everybody's Christmas presents

using science,

you'll all be
forced to face

the awesome,
incredible truth:

there is no Santa Claus!

Okay, but the Easter Bunny's
real, right?

( sighs )

I love the smell of
spray-on snow on Christmas Eve.

( sniffing )

( coughing )

Hugh, Hugh,
turn on the TV!

The big story this morning:

Christmas has been canceled.

Oh, no, that's the worse thing
that could ever happen.

TV NEWS PERSON:
All because of this boy,
Jimmy Neutron.

Except for that.

This dramatic footage,
taken inside Santa's workshop,

captures the tragic moment.

Ho! Ho!

Ow!

Local videographers

Cindy Vortex and Libby Fullfax
had this comment.

It's important
to remember

point one of my
five-point plan:

"It's all Jimmy's fault."

Poor Jimmy.

He'll be hated and reviled
by everyone.

Well, maybe if folks had
something else to celebrate.

Hugh, you can't just
invent a new holiday.

Or can I...

That's it!

Everybody likes pie, right?

If we could combine pie
and Yule, we'd have, uh...

Pule?

That's it-- "Pule"!

Dimple dumpling,
you're a genius!

( ratcheting )

You still here?

I'm just about to test out
my Christmas equipment upgrade.

Sheen, begin test of jingle-bell
powered sonic propulsion unit.

( jingling;
engine whirring begins )

I've adapted my fuel cells

so they're powered
by sonic vibrations.

The faster I jingle, the more
powerful our back thrust.

And I used a Christmas light

to install a guided
navigational beacon

on my dog's nose.

( barking )

( panting )

Wow, Goddard,
you'll go down
in his-tor-y.

Hey, Carl.

Finished loading
the presents?

One billion, 999 million,
999 thousand...

Call it an
even two billion!

All right, then,
let's head out.

You'll never do it--
you only got 12 hours

to deliver presents
to every kid on Earth.

No problem.

I've calculated everything
down to the last nanosecond.

Goddard, navigational system
to power.

Jingle bells to speed.

Ready
to move out.

Got to blast!

JIMMY:
All systems are go
for toy delivery.

First stop: Norway.

Lock onto our first house,
Goddard.

And you really think
this is a good idea?

Of course it is.

I'm "Croppy, the Pule Duck."

Every Pule Eve I bring the gift
of pie to children everywhere.

Yes, it's all here.

Good children
get apple or cherry,

and the naughty kids get mince.

Oh, Sweetie, do you really think
this will help Jimmy?

Sure-- once folks
get in that Pule spirit,

they'll forget all about Jimbo.

It's like the song says:

♪ Have yourself
a happy little Pule ♪

♪ Let your heart sing out ♪

♪ Pule's no time of year
to sit and mope about. ♪

( angelic choir
singing backup vocals )

♪ Here I am baking pies a lot ♪
♪ Pies a lot ♪

♪ Hope the crust is hot ♪
♪ Crust is hot ♪

♪ And light ♪
♪ So light and fluffy ♪

♪ Joyful friends
start to sing and shout ♪

♪ To sing and shout ♪

♪ They won't dare
to pout tonight ♪

♪ Pout tonight ♪

♪ Every year
is like a different flavor ♪

♪ Filled with rich purée ♪

♪ All your cares
like à la mode will melt away ♪

♪ Will melt away ♪

♪ So have yourself
a happy little Pule today. ♪

Oh, honey.

This will be
the best Pule ever.

JIMMY:
Coming up on first target.

Sven Svensen, age four.

Present: Suction-cup
Finger Ultralord.

Got it.

Wait, that's
a rare collectible.

You can't just
give it to some kid.

Sheen, don't-- no!

Wait, it's Christmas.

SHEEN:
No!

Sheen, get a grip.

We only have 11 hours
and 57 minutes left.

( crickets chirping )

Good luck, honey.

Quack, quack, quack.

HUGH:
Merry Pule to all.

( arguing and fighting )

( grunting and groans )

( Hugh groans )

( Hugh sighs deeply )

Who would have
ever dreamed

that people
wouldn't want pie

stuffed down
their stocking?

Sweetheart,
maybe we could try
again in the morning.

No, no, no--
Pule's a failure.

I guess there'll be
no holiday cheer this year.

There's always Presidents' Day.

Mm-hmm, that's the spirit,
Sugarbooger.

Everything will be all right
on Presidents' Day...

( starts sobbing )

Oh, honey, there, there.

Enjoy your inane blinking
contraption, Japanese kid.

My calculations were perfect;

we're finishing up
right on schedule.

Good job, Sheen.
Nice work, Carl.

( sobbing )

Carl?
Carl, what's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

I think it's great

that you've delivered
all the presents...

and now everyone will realize

that there really...
is no such thing as Santa!

( sobbing hysterically )

Don't cry, Carl.

You're going to be

one of the most famous-ous kids
in Retroville.

Retroville?!

Holy Heisenberg!

The sun's almost up,
and we haven't done Retroville.

There's just one chance...

With a light-speed boost
from this warp module

we might make it.

Hang on, everyone.

Can't... maintain... control.

Going... too... fast.

( screams )

( all screaming )

Okay, this is
quickly becoming

a really lousy Christmas.

I don't understand--

I had this delivery thing
calculated

down to the last decimal point.

Whee-he-he-hee!

What are you
so happy about?

Don't you get it?

Jimmy couldn't deliver
all the presents, right?

That means only
Santa can, right?

And that means
Santa's real.

You're right, Carl.

That thought could fill us
with the joy of Christmas

as we burn up
through the atmosphere.

( all screaming )

Ho! Ho! Ho!

( bells jingling )

Ho! Ho! Ho!

BOTH:
Santa!

Holly-jolly tractorbeam--
activate.

( thunderous whooshing )

( barking )

Santa Claus?

It's true-- you are real!

Yep, got my red suit;
everything.

So you're Jimmy Neutron.

( chuckles )

You've been on my naughty
list for some time.

Told you.

Uh, sorry about the whole
scrambling your atoms thing.

You're sorry?

I still got protons
where my ions should be.

But you boys did
a great job tonight.

Can we still bring
Christmas to Retroville?

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

No, I'm afraid I've used up

all my reserve energy
rescuing you boys.

But you're Santa--
you could do anything!

( both pleading )

All right! All right!

I bet the Tooth Fairy doesn't
have to put up with this.

Just give me a second to think.

Think. Think!

Brain blast!

Jimmy, do you still have
your warp module?

I think Goddard has a spare.

Maybe my magic sleigh
can take light speed

better than your rocket.

Slap it on this dashboard

and let's see
what this baby can do.

Initiate light speed... now.

SANTA:
Ho! Ho! Ho-ho-hooo...

Santa, you did it!

That was amazing.

Ah, that was easy.

I just realigned
the quantum overthrax...

To compensate for the
hyper-spacial inversion!

Bingo!

Well, Jimmy, maybe
I'll see you next year.

Stay away
from fried foods,

and have a very
merry Christmas.

SANTA:
Ho! Ho! Ho!

Got to blast.

What a cool guy.

Too bad he didn't
have enough time

to deliver presents
to our house.

Or did he?

My dwarf star.

"Sorry it took so long--

"I had to let it cool
for five years.

Love, Santa."

Of course!

I should have realized.

Good morning, Jimmy.

Merry Pule.

Funny, it doesn't
look like Pule.

It looks... just... like...

Why...

Why, it looks
just like Christmas!

I got peace on Earth.

And a robo-themed
orbiting deck

with carnage-inducing
plasma cannon.

Cool!

"Thanks for believing in me.

Santa."

( gasps )

Yay!

I've been made an honorary elf.

Elfie, elfie, elfie.

A lump of coal?!

Do me a favor--

the next time I suggest
we humiliate somebody,

don't listen!

( munching and crunching )

Ooh! A 123-piece hexsagonal
carbon-alloy ratchet set.

It's a goose.

Hey, looks like
I got a new hobby.

It's all thanks to Santa.

Sweetie, we thought
you didn't believe in Santa.

Recent empirical data
strongly favors his existence.

Mom, Dad, there is
a Santa Claus.

( laughs )

This is so much better
than Pule.

And I've got
the perfect decoration

for the top of our tree.

Goddard?

( Goddard whirring )

♪ Christmas Day,
we're together ♪

♪ Nevermind the where
or whether ♪

♪ Cause Santa came through. ♪

JIMMY:
♪ Now I believe, too. ♪

ALL:
♪ We're basking in the warmth
of Christmas Day. ♪

Hi, I'm Paul.

JIMMY:
Got to blast!