02x14 - Foul Bull/The Science Fair Affair

[bunniefuu]

Got to blast!

♪ Into the stars,
goin' by Candy Bar's ♪

♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪

( gasps )

♪ With a super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪

( barks )

♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪

Help!

♪ This is the theme song ♪

( screams )

♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪

( mechanical whirring )

( barking )

( yells )

( Carl groans )

I hope my travel sickness pill
starts to work so...

( snoring )

Leave it to Nerdtron
to be working

on the way
to a field trip.

Making a Kiss-Jimmy's-
Butt Robot,

because your neck's
not long enough?

No!

It's a hyper-
directional,

superconducting
electromagnet.

Observe.

So, uh...

How long have
you had braces?

Ah, farmland.

Source of the eggs
for our breakfast table

and the milk we propel
out our noses.

Ever been to a rodeo before,
Miss Fowl?

Been to one?

Take a gander at this.

( tires screeching )

That's me.

( kids exclaiming in amazement )

Yup, I was a trick-riding, calf-
roping daughter of the Pecos.

Why'd you give it up?

Well, one day my horse,
Wheat Germ, threw me

in full gallop.

( truck honking )

FOWL:
I lost my nerve

and packed up for teaching
school the next day.

( police sirens wailing )

( gasps )

The 5-0 is on our tail;
better set a good example.

Hang on, children!

( crowd cheering )

EMCEE:
Hey! Thank you kindly.

Now, cowpokes, it gives me
great pleasure to introduce

my very own daughter,

Sagebrush Sally,
the pride of Abilene.

( cheering )

She's amazing.

She's stupefying.

She's so pretty
she makes the horse
look plain.

( applause )

Yeah!

Author!
Author!

( audience goes silent )

What?

Did you see that?

Sagebrush Sally
blew me a kiss!

You? What are you,
blind?

She blew it to me!

It was meant for me,

and I can prove it using
coordinate geometry with...

Look at you pathetic
drool monkeys.

So a girl stood
on a saddle.

What's the big deal?

It's easy when it's sticky
from horse sweat.

And those boots?

Hmph-- obviously
domestic.

( sobbing )

I miss it all so much.

( all scream )

Oh, well, uh...

Hey, guys.

I was just going into
the stable to, uh...

ask Sally how
she counteracts
the centrifugal force

during her act.

Well, um...

I just came
to see the ponies.

And I was just
going in there

to... look for
my lost thumb!

Well, howdy, boys.

Did you all
enjoy the rodeo?

We, uh... had some purely
scientific questions.

Fire away.

Do you have a boyfriend?

BOTH:
Sheen!

Well, you boys sure do

get to the point.

No, I reckon

I don't.

It ain't easy

finding someone who eats,
sleeps and breathes rodeo

like I do.

( giggling )

( snorts )

( bull bellowing )

( giggling )

( oinking )

( burps )

( giggling )

Well... since you boys have
all stopped talking,

I reckon I'll go now.

See you around.

Eh, eh... it was nice
meeting you!

Adios, caballera!

Happy trails!

Did you boys lose
something in here?

Like your dignity
and self-respect?

Huh?

We saw you crawling
after that girl

like rats after
a dumpster cr*cker.

Hey, we don't
like girls.

Yeah!

Especially the one in there
with the sparkly eyes,

the pixie nose that wrinkles
when she laughs.

Uh-huh, that's the one
I don't like, either.

What a bunch of
tongue draggers.

If I ever get the hots
for that idiot Jimmy,

just lock me up.

Don't you mean
if you ever get the hots

for any of them?

( laughing )

Right, yeah,
that's what I meant.

( laughing nervously )

If Sally likes rodeo heroes,

she'll adore me
on the Bullerator 8000.

Testing snort module.

Who'd have thought

I'd find an application
for my electromagnet so soon?

All I need now is
a pair of iron mesh underwear.

Goddard?

And... I'd better bring
some talcum powder.

Hi there, Sally.

Fancy meeting
y'all here.

Um, I work here.

Right.

Well, uh, fancy meeting
me all here.

You know what I forgot
to mention yesterday?

I am actually
a world-champion bull rider.

Well, how brave
and exciting!

And what
a coincidence.

Huh?

Your friends forgot

they're world-champion
rodeo stars, too.

Behold, it is I, UltraClown!

( honks horn )

And I'm the Pig Punisher.

I'm a-gonna wrestle
this here porker

and feed his bacon to the crowd!

( whispering ):
Not really.

You're on, Sheen.

I'll tell my daddy

to add you
to the show, Jimmy.

( laughs )

Boy, you guys picked
the tough ones.

Apparently all I got to do is
distract some kind of animal.

Well, here goes.

I hope it's not a spider.

I hate spiders.

( snorts powerfully )

( screams )

Help! Help, somebody!

Save the clown!

( audience laughing )

MAN:
What
a clown!

Psst, kid.

Hold that
thought.

( continues screaming )

You were saying?

He's a show biz
bull.

He's part of the act.

Really?

( audience "oohs" )

Hey, big fellow.

I saw you here yesterday and
you reminded me so much of...

Here, I brought you some sugar.

Oh, me and Wheat Germ, every
night we'd come a-galloping out.

I'd tip my hat and,
oh, the people would clap.

Maybe just one more time.

And now, folks, here's Carl,

the hog-wrestling Hercules!

Now, be careful, piggy.

I know you can
flatten a grown man

with one swing
of your mighty tail.

Or is that alligators?

( groans )

So you want a piece of me?!

( groaning )

How does that feel there, hog?

Oh, yeah?

How about some of this?

( Carl screams )

( whinnies )

Easy, boy, easy.

I can't!

I can't do it!

( screeches )

EMCEE:
And now, folks, trying
to stay atop 2,000 pounds

of bucking, snorting pain,

it's the Retroville Rough Rider
his self, Jimmy Neutron!

This one's for you,
Sally.

( whirring )

Whoa! Jumping Jupiter!

Yeow! Yeow!

Why, it's like he's a-glued
to that fire-spitting monster.

( crowd cheering )

Whoa...

Jimmy, that was amazing!

How'd it feel?

If I'm elected Miss America,

I will try to bring honor
to this tiara.

That was nothing--

anyone can ride
these show-biz bulls.

Get a load of this,
Sal-gal.

Sheen, wait!

That's not your bull!

Show time.

( screams )

Less pretending!

Sit! Sit!

Jimmy, you're his only hope.

You'll have to get on
Back Breaker and follow him.

Back Breaker?

He's the only horse fast enough.

Uh, did I mention

I have a science club meeting

across town, so, uh...

Someone's got to do something!

I'm a-coming, Sheen!

Giddyup, pig.

Whaa!

( Sheen screaming;
bull bellowing )

Sweet muffins,
a child in trouble!

Heeya!

Heeya! Heeya!

( horse whinnies )

( screaming )

Help! Stop this thing!

Stop it!

Sheen, jump on.

Easy, Back Breaker.

Whoa!

You're safe now.

Whoops, not safe.

Heeya! Heeya!

( grunts )

( wild cheering )

I'm alive!
I'm alive!

And did you see me rescue
Miss Fowl?

Whoa!

Superhuman balance
and courage, huh?

All he had was
a supermagnet

under his lying butt.

( gasps )

Jimmy!

I am disappointed in you.

Hey, what a coincidence!

I'm disappointed
in me, too.

Why don't we discuss
our mutual disappointment

over a Purple Flurp.

Do you believe the nerve
of some boys?

Some boys?

How about all of them?

Mm-hmm, tell me
about it.

( girls continue grumbling )

I don't get it.

What did we do wrong?

Maybe this is why
we don't like girls.

Piggly, wiggly, wiggly.

Who needs them?

Let's go
to the Candy Bar,

where we can drink
Purple Flurp,

belch the alphabet...

And fart under our arms
like men!

( farting )

Like that!
Good one, Carl!

Actually,
that was the pig.

I would have
claimed it.

( snorting )

Gentlemen,
I give you

the "I Can't Believe
It's Not Oil 9000."

It puts garbage
into a chamber

and then mulches it

into a clean-burning
oil substitute.

See, I told you
garbage could
be mulched

into a clean-burning
oil substitute.

No, you didn't.

Oh, maybe I didn't.

( machine snorting )

( buzzing )

( dings )

JIMMY:
It works!

Jimbo, you weren't
watching Goddard.

I just caught him

digging up
lawn gnomes again.

What the...?!

( yells )

Stay back!

( yelling )

Hang on, Dad!

That was a little too close.

( muffled yell )

And that's why cowboys
are bowlegged.

WILLOUGHBY:
Yoo-hoo,

children!

Just a reminder

that the big school science fair
is next week.

It's shaping up to be
a real competition.

And, Jimmy, when you win,

please keep your acceptance
speech short.

Will do.
Thank you.

Jimmy Neutron, j'accuse!

Principal Willoughby, I submit

that Jimmy Neutron is too smart
to compete in the science fair.

W-what?

You heard me--

it's totally illegal.

This is scandalous--
my client is innocent!

Ooh, a trial.

I've always wanted
to be a judge.

And robes--
don't get me started, okay?

Well, Miss Fowl,
call the court to order.

The case of Vortex
verses Neutron

is now in session!

( squawks )

Cindy Vortex, present your case.

Thank you, your honor.

Fellow classmates, I ask you,

do you have
the faintest hope of winning

this year's science fair?

STUDENTS:
No.

And who do you think

will win the fair?

STUDENTS:
Jimmy.

Why do you think that?

STUDENTS:
Well, he's won the last three,

and he's a total genius.

Precisely,
which is why I submit

that this
so-called science fair

is anything but.

I object.

You're out of order!

No, you're out of order!

This court's out of order!

The soda machine in the gym
is out of order!

CINDY:
Your honor,

this line represents
the potential of kids

who have never won
a science fair,

while this line shows the
potential of those who have.

To compete, I'm supposed
to build the best stuff I can.

Condemning the rest of us

to lives of failure
and desperation.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, I submit

that you have no choice

but to ban this brain
and ease our pain.

The prosecution rests.

( students cheering )

Defense, present your case.

Huh?

Oh...

Sheen, call me
as a witness.

That's just what
they're expecting.

I call Carl Wheezer
as a witness.

What?

Mr. Wheezer,
state your name, please.

Carl Wheezer.

Where were you

on the night of the 16th?!

I don't remember.

Or you don't want to remember?

Answer the question!

Which question?

The question
you dare not answer!

Stop, stop!

I don't want to go to prison!

Stripes make me look hippy!

This is a travesty
of justice!

You're right-- plus
it's almost lunch time.

The court finds in favor
of Cindy Vortex.

W-what? Why?!

Because her rhyme
was so catchy.

"Ban this brain
and ease our pain"--

oh, I love that!

Jimmy's out of
the science fair-- case closed.

Hey, Jimbo,
why so glum, sport?

They banned me
from the school
science fair.

Really?
What a coincidence.

I was banned
from the science fair

when I was your age.

They said burping the periodic
table of elements--

( burping ):
helium, oxygen--

wasn't real science.

They said
the same thing
about leeching once.

What's the point
of being smart

if you can't be
the best?

Hmm...

( applause )

WILLOUGHBY:
Thank you, thank you.

Joining me in judging today's
science fair contestants

will be the Candy Bar's own
Stan Melnick...

Just buy something
and get out-- yeah!

WILLOUGHBY:
And our very own gateway
to Hollywood,

Corky Shimatzu!

You all super-sans.

WILLOUGHBY:
And I guess that's it.

Ready or not,
here we come!

Isn't it heaven
without Neutron here, Libby?

Now I can totally wipe the floor
with the competition.

Well, that is...

unless you win with your highly
cool invention of, um...

What is it, again?

A mood CD player.

It detects your mood
by skin temperature,

then chooses a CD
to match it.

Ooh, let me try.

♪ You're my Candy Girl ♪

♪ Looking so sweet in your... ♪

( gasps )

( angry, harsh music
begins playing )

"Smash the Power"
by Savage Lunch?

SHEEN:
Meet F. Scott Iguana.

Place him on the keyboard in
full view of this juicy cricket

and pretty soon
his gnawing hunger

will force him to write
the great American novel.

Gentlemen, and ladies,
are you tired of spending

hours in the kitchen
mashing potatoes?

I know I am.

Well, those days are over,
thanks to Carl's Mash-o-matic.

Just place the spud
in the hole...

shake up the Flurp...

and let science do the rest.

( rumbling )

Neutron, why are
you even here?!

You were banned,
remember?

I know.

I just
couldn't stay away.

I miss the smells,
the sounds...

the certainty
of victory.

You keep your memories
and I'll keep first prize.

Now, get lost!

The judges are coming!

( sputtering )
Hey...

Your circuit breaker--
just let me...

Get away!

I'm perfectly capable

of fixing
my own invention.

Oh... okay,
fix it-- hurry!

( buzzing )

"Sweatsock Transmogrifier."

Super crazy!

How does it work?

CINDY:
Um, old sweat socks

go in here, and...

( whirring )

voilà, they're combined
into a new sweater.

Now I can work my sweat socks
back into my ensemble-- yeah!

Well, judges,
I think we know

who's getting
first prize this year.

Congratulations,
Cindy.

Thanks.

I thought victory
would be sweet,

but it feels
all wrong.

What's the point
of winning

if I can't b*at Neutron?

You're saying
you miss Jimmy?

No, I don't miss him!

♪ I'm missing you so bad... ♪

Oh, who asked you?!

And so, first prize for
this year's science fair
goes to...

MAN ( in Swedish accent ):
Stop the judging!

Which one of you
is Jimmy Neutron, by kringle?

I am. Who are you?

Lars Svenson from Sweden.

And you've won this year's
Junior Nobel Prize

for your "I Can't Believe
It's Not Oil" machine.

I can explain, son.

You see, you were
feeling so glum

about not being
in the science fair

that I sent your idea
to the Nobel Prize folks.

CINDY:
Whoa, whoa!

Hold up there, pally.

I don't see any of genius boy's
inventions anywhere!

But it's right outside.

It is?

SVENSON:
Okay, Jimmy,

fire up that machine
and make us all

proud and tingly.

( all gasping )

( snorting )

( buzzing )

My...

( whirring )

I can't believe
it's not oil.

( cheering )

Isn't that super?

Unfortunately, Jimmy got

the big booteroony
from the fair,

so the winner is...

BOLBI:
Wait, wait!

Bolbi make science, too.

You forget to be judging
my instant mud hut maker.

Mud and donkey dung go here...

bricks come out here!

Now begins a portion
of badness.

( bystanders gasping )

( buzzing )

( snorting )

( screaming )

( grunting )

Jimmy, hit
the k*ll switch!

I can't!

If I let go
of the mulching brake

everyone will be
turned into oil!

Cindy, you've got
to do something!

Why? It's about time

Neutron took
the fall for once.

But everyone
will be mulched!

That's true.

Oh, this is
a real poser.

Well,
if Willoughby's mulch,

so is your trophy.

Everyone, listen up!

Grab your inventions

and get back here
on the double!

Come on, move it,
move it, move it!

Carl, sh**t a potato
into the tailpipe.

Sheen, throw
your starving iguana
at the control box.

Right!

Libby, fire all your CDs
at the containment chamber.

Okay, we're clear!

( rumbling )

( gulps )

( burps )

"I can't believe
it's not oil"!

I can't believe
you're not in jail!

Well... this changes everything.

Judges.

( all muttering )

Okay, first prize
goes to everyone

whose inventions helped stop
Jimmy's death machine.

Carl, Sheen and
Libby, come on down!

( cheering )

But, but, I gave them all
positive direction.

I deserve to be rewarded, too.

You were, Cindy.

You saved
a lot of people

from being crunched
into low-cost fuel.

And isn't that
the best reward of all?

Don't worry, Jimmy,
I saw everything.

We'll see you in court!

Don't make me
habeas your corpus.

I ought to...

( yells )

Anyone seen an iguana?

( saying "Hi, I'm Paul"
backwards )

JIMMY:
Got to blast!