06x04 - Mazey Day

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Black Mirror". Aired: 4 December 2011 – 5 June 2019.*
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British anthology television series based on The Twilight Zone.
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06x04 - Mazey Day

Post by bunniefuu »

[LOW, THRUMMING RUMBLING]

[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS, FADES]

[RADIO ANNOUNCER] And, of
course, the news that everyone

is talking about in LA today

is that the Tom-Kitten has a name.

That's right. Tom and Katie
have issued a statement

naming their new baby Suri.

That's right, folks, Suri Cruise.

According to the statement, Su...

[KEYPAD BEEPING]

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

[MAN ] Hey, Bo. What's up?

Yeah, J.P., I've been
sitting here for two hours,

but there's no sign of them.

So, they're still at it?

- Are you sure it was him?
- Have I ever let you down?

I'll let you know.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

Hey. Can I talk to you?

You with an agency?

I can pay.

For those pictures.

Five hundred dollars?

You're k*lling me.

- Please.
- [CAR ENGINE STARTING]

- sh*t.
- Lady, please. You can't do this.

- [TIRES SQUEAL]
- You're k*lling me!

f*ck.

f*cking animal!

[MAN] TV's Justin Camley enjoys
a little afternoon delight

with a male buddy.

Okay. This, this, and this.

- Two-fifty each.
- Two-fifty?

Come on, man. Three hundred.

Camley hasn't been on
TV in, like, four years.

He was on that VH thing.

And he offered me .

Okay.

Three each.

[" THING" BY AMERIE PLAYING]

♪ Don't wanna tell you what it is ♪

♪ Ooh-wee, it felt so serious ♪

♪ Got me thinking just too much ♪

♪ I wanna set it off, but... ♪

[MAN] Bo?

♪ It's this one thing
that got me trippin' ♪

- Bo.
- Hey... Oh!

- Hey, sorry.
- Hey.

- Sorry.
- [" THING" CONTINUES IN EARBUDS]

I got paid. It's a new toy.

Can you believe how small it is?

- That's great.
- Yeah.

- Cool, right?
- Yeah.

So,

you know I don't like to judge
other people's lifestyle choices.

But I have really delicate sinuses.

And when you fry garlic and ginger,

it just makes the whole
apartment a little acrid?

Yeah, sure, I'll, um...

- Yeah, I'll open the window, Nathan.
- Thank you so much.

Yeah.

[" THING" RESUMES FAINTLY IN EARBUDS]

[TV ANNOUNCER] US and Iraqi troops
have been engaging the militants

in a house-to-house battle

as they try to clear out the
remaining pockets of resistance.

The US m*llitary...

Hey, I'll take a skinny vanilla latte.

[BARISTA] Sure.

... to support the ongoing operation.

And we have celebrity news breaking
right now here in Hollywood.

Former Sea of Tranquility
star Justin Camley

has been found dead in
his Hollywood Hills home.

TMZ are reporting he was found
hanged in an apparent su1c1de.

Only days ago, the scandal broke

that Justin had been cheating
on his long-term girlfriend

with another man.

[SIGHS] This whole Justin Camley
situation is sad as sh*t, Bo,

but it's not your fault.

You were just doing
your job, that's all.

Yeah, I know.

- Can't say I sympathize with the guy.
- [MAN ] Whitty, come on.

Sorry. Did someone force
him to become an actor?

Whitty, shut the f*ck up.

He wanted his face out
there, money, the rest of it.

And then he gets sad
because he feels "exposed."

It's just dumb.

Can't handle the consequences,
don't enter the game.

Duke's right.

And half of these assholes
would k*ll themselves

if we didn't take their picture.

My limo guy says he's got
Sydney Alberti in the back.

Slutty Alberti.

Slutty Alberti.

[DUKE LAUGHS]

- [WHISTLE IN DISTANCE]
- [PHOTOGRAPHERS CLAMORING]

[MAN ] Where you going
to stay tonight, Sydney?

[MAN ] Come on, Sydney!

[MAN ] Sydney!

- Sydney, over here.
- Come on!

- Right here.
- You're looking beautiful. I love...

Sydney, right here!

- [MAN ] Sydney!
- [MAN ] Looking great. I love that dress.

- You look great in white.
- What are you wearing?

Sydney! This way, you skank!

I love your sex tape. f*cking whore!

You piece of sh*t! Say
it to my f*cking face!

- Say it to my face!
- You touch me again. That is as*ault!

I've got witnesses!

You tou... Touch me again!
You're gonna hear from my lawyer.

[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC CONTINUES]

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC FADES]

[MAN IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
Miss Cattermole? Is everything all right?

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] Never better.

Cut!

Okay, guys, that's a wrap for day two.

Take your sides for tomorrow
if you don't have them.

Make sure you check your call
sheets for pre-call. Great job.

- Um, give me that.
- Thank you.

Um, there's a treat in
the pocket from Stephan.

[IN US ACCENT] Oh.

"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."
"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."

Wick.

Wick-um.

Wick-um.

Abbey.

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] Abbey.

"I was schooled at Wycombe Abbey."

I was schooled at...

Wycombe. Wycombe Abbey.

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK
HOLE" BY MUSE PLAYING]

♪ Ooh, baby, don't you know I suffer? ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, can you hear me moan? ♪

♪ You caught me under false pretenses ♪

♪ How long before you let me go? ♪

♪ Ooh, oh ♪

♪ You set my soul alight ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

[GLASS SHATTERS]

♪ You set my soul alight ♪

♪ Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪

[GASPS]

♪ You set my soul alight ♪

♪ Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪

- ♪ And the superstars ♪
- ♪ You set my soul ♪

[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING MUFFLED]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

- [LOUD THUD]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

- [SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪ You set my soul alight ♪

♪ Glaciers melting
in the dead of night ♪

- ♪ And the superstars ♪
- ♪ You set my soul ♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪ Supermassive black hole ♪

♪ Supermassive black hole ♪

♪ Supermassive black hole ♪

♪ Supermassive black hole ♪

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAR HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE]

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

[SPEAKING CZECH]

- [DRIVER SPEAKING CZECH]
- [OFFICER SPEAKING CZECH]

- [DRIVER SPEAKING CZECH]
- [OFFICER SPEAKING CZECH]

[IN ENGLISH] Road is
closed. I go around.

What did he... what did he say?

[DRIVER] They found man in road.

A man?

Mm-hmm. They think hit-and-run.

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[WOMAN] Mazey, Hair and
Makeup are ready for you.

[EXHALES]

[TV ANNOUNCER] It's been two
whole weeks since Mazey Day,

star of the EverWish saga,

abruptly left the set of the
third installment of the franchise.

No one has seen her...

- [NATHAN] I... I heard you come in.
- Yeah.

This is really hard for me.

I'm not good at
confrontation, so my therapist

suggested that I use cue cards.

And...

[NATHAN CLEARS THROAT] Mm.

"As you know, your share
of the rent is late."

"And I have noticed
groceries disappearing

from my clearly marked
personal shelf in the fridge."

- "While I truly value our friendship... "
- Nathan.

Please.

"I do not feel it is appropriate
for me to financially support... "

Nathan.

I'll get the money.

[EXHALES]

Thank you.

All right, that's Erika and
Brad. Have a nice day, y'all.

'Sup, Bo?

Haven't you heard? No dogs allowed.

Meow.

You got a minute?

Like I said, Hec, I'm out.

I'm not trying to tempt you back in.

Yeah, 'cause you're
scared of the competition.

[SCOFFS]

Maybe I respect your
decision. Thought about that?

So, why are you here?

I thought that maybe you
could help me with something.

Help you with what?

Mazey Day.

The actress.

Yeah, Mazey Day. What about her?

You know, she's filming in
Czechoslo-somewhere, one of those.

Started day drinking. Erratic
behavior. Stopped showing up to set.

Angry one day, f*cking weeping the
next. Basically gone f*cking wacko.

So, that's your professional
psychiatric opinion of the situation?

She got kicked off the
movie set two weeks ago,

flew home, and no one's seen her since.

Not home, nowhere.

So, everybody's cool with
leaving her alone, then?

Nick's offering K for
the first photo of her.

- K?
- K.

Forty if you catch her
looking like a junkie.

I've been hitting up all my peeps, but

no leads. Nothing. Nada.

You, um, still keep in
touch with your snitch?

I took his number off my phone.

All right, well, if you happen to
find that you wrote it somewhere,

let me know.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING NERVOUSLY]

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

- Hey, J.P.
- Hey, stranger.

Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

- Have you heard anything on Mazey Day?
- Thought you'd given up on all this.

Yeah, this could be the
kind of payday I could use.

Look, I only know what
everyone else knows.

She's not at home. Gotta be
holed up somewhere, but no clue.

All right, cool.

Uh, let me know if that changes.

[WOMAN] Hello? Food delivery.

Oh, I think I have
some money in my purse.

It's okay.

Mr. G said while you're
a guest in his house,

he's left money to cover everything.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

[PHONE DIALING]

[DIAL-UP INTERNET STATIC]

So, she still has a membership,
but she hasn't been since when?

You haven't seen her in a while.

You can give me a call
if she pops by again.

Let me know if that changes.

You can call me here if
anything changes. Thank you. Bye.

[PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES]

[WHISPERS] Where the f*ck are you?

Hmm.

[PENSIVE MUSIC FADES]

Mazey Day's a fan, huh?

[BO CHUCKLES]

She says she orders here every week?

Mm-hmm.

- Come on.
- [WOMAN] She still does.

Saw her yesterday.

[BO] Really?

[WOMAN] She's staying at
some, like, producer's house.

[EXHALES]

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC PLAYING]

[RESTLESS EXHALE]

[EXHALES]

- [LOUD THUD]
- [GASPS]

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]

[WHIMPERS]

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC PLAYING]

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC PLAYING]

[UNSETTLING STRING MUSIC FADES]

- Ms. Day?
- [GASPS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[BEEP]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[MAN] The first step is to recognize

that you're not in control of this.

It has taken you over.

And you must be humble

in the face of it.

Hm?

I've arranged a place
where we can take you.

Private, out of town,
just for a few days.

You need isolation.

Away from anyone

and anything.

[MAZEY] Dr. Babich.

Can you get me better?

Well, it's about getting
you through tonight.

And then the next night.

Then we see.

Okay.

[BO] sh*t.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

f*ck yeah.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

This better be you, Mazey.

[CAR ENGINE STARTING]

The f*ck are we going?

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

f*ck it.

Oh sh*t.

f*ck.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Oh sh*t.

[AIR HISSING]

Hey. What the f*ck?

[AIR HISSING]

Goddammit!

[AIR HISSING]

f*ck!

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]

[MAN] Thanks, guys. Thank you very much.

[GUEST] Thank you.

[BO EXHALES]

[SIGHS]

[MAN] Day going well?

Absolutely not.

I'm guessing you could use a coffee.

Or a beer?

Coffee's fine.

Coffee it is.

Do you know anyone with
a tow truck around here?

- Car trouble?
- Yeah.

Uh, Mitch runs the repair shop in town,

but he came by here this morning.

He'll be gone for the day.

Would he come if I called him?

No, I mean, you know...

[MIMICS DRINKING]

... gone for the day.

Oh God.

Is there a motel within
crawling distance?

Uh, the only place near here
is the Cedar Wood Retreat.

That's really more of a rehab place.

A rehab?

Yeah, but for, like, rich
hippie types, you know?

It's a little New Age for my blood.

Maybe they have a bed for the night?

Yeah, you got no chance of that.

Uh, Kyle, that's my uncle,
most days he's a masseuse there.

He says someone hired the
entire complex for the weekend.

The whole place?

All the staff sent home,

so it's empty, ultra-private.

The whole place for, like,
one person the whole time.

Any clue who the one person is?

Someone rich who wants to
get straight on the down-low.

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

Oh, hey. You were right.

- Compliments to the chef.
- Mm-hmm.

- Thumbs up for the pecan pie, Jesse.
- [JESSE] We aim to please.

Wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey, no, no.

- Come on. Let's go.
- I just got here.

That's a long-ass ride.
No time for a soda?

You want a soda, or you want Mazey Day?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Thank you.

- You actually know where we're going?
- Just shut up and trust me.

[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[KEYPAD BEEPING, BUZZES]

- It was worth a sh*t.
- Was it?

- What if it would have opened the door?
- No one's hopping this fence.

What is this, Jurassic Park?

Got a T. rex in there or something?

No, they're just keeping
people like us out.

How sure are you she's in there?

%.

%?

Maybe .

- Eighty? It's gonna be in a...
- Wait, wait, wait. You hear that?

- [VEHICLE APPROACHING]
- [BO] Hide the bike.

Oh sh*t.

Is that Whitty's car?

- Did you tell him?
- No, did you?

No!

Hey, ladies.

- Where'd you put it? Underneath my seat?
- Where's what?

Your f*cking tracker is what.

I think of it as an unpaid informant.

It's under the gas t*nk.

[HECTOR] Two chunks of sh*t!

Like you've never
popped one under a limo.

- This is legit journalism.
- Oh, Mr. Pulitzer.

- He's adorable.
- [HECTOR] This is stealing intel.

[WHITTY] Ooh, yeah, some intel.

f*ck you doing out here, huh?
It's gotta be Mazey Day, right?

- This was my find.
- Yeah, I heard of this place.

Private A-list "holistic
experiences." Super kooky.

[DUKE] Sounds like a rehab joint.

Let's find a way in.

f*ckin'...

f*cking privacy screen.

Which means whatever
they do on the other side

has gotta be worth seeing.

[GRUNTING]

- You're literally crawling in the dirt.
- [WHITTY] Shut up.

Ladies first.

- [MAN] Terry.
- Hey, Clay.

- I'll do the chicken.
- Sure thing.

[POWER TOOL WHIRRING]

What the hell is that sound?

It's like a power tool.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

Door's opening.

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

Is he carrying a rivet g*n?

f*ck, that's the guy who slashed
my tires. Mazey Day is here.

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

Okay, my friends. That's Dmitri
Babich, specialist doctor to the stars.

Ah, the big addiction guy. My
guess says she's on crystal meth.

More like coke.

Isn't Babich into holistic voodoo
or some sh*t? Is he even a doctor?

For Hollywood, just about.

She must've been
desperate to call him in.

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

- [VEHICLE DOOR CLOSES]
- [VEHICLE RETREATS]

[WHITTY] Okay.

[MAZEY PANTING]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

- ["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]
- [ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

[HECTOR] Is that her?

- [DUKE] I think it's her.
- [HECTOR] Holy sh*t. This is grand.

[BO] Is that a f*cking chain?

- Is that a f*cking chain around her neck?
- Kinky sh*t.

What?

Babich shackled her
up for the cold turkey.

That's f*cking illegal, Hector.

- sh*t.
- Jesus!

- [BO GRUNTS]
- Bo, what the f*ck... Bo, what are you...

sh*t!

[BO] Oh sh*t.

[HECTOR] Oh sh*t. f*ck.

Oh my God.

[BO] sh*t!

Guys, she's burning up.

So much for sexy sh*ts.

[PANTING]

- [LOUD THUD]
- [TIRES SCREECHING]

You gotta go.

Guys, can you just stop for one minute?

Stop! She's chained to the floor!

They say I gotta be alone.

Gotta get through this alone.

They say a lot of sh*t!

- Okay. We're gonna get you out.
- [BLEATING]

- [HECTOR] What the f*ck?
- [BO GRUNTING]

Get the f*ck away from me!

- Here we go.
- [SOBS] Get the f*ck away.

- [BO] Mazey?
- [SOBS] Please.

You don't understand!

Mazey, I just...

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]

Mazey.

Go!

Run! Run away!

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE" PLAYING]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]

["SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE"
PLAYING MUFFLED, WARPED]

- [SNARLS]
- [RETCHES]

- Oh f*ck!
- What the f*ck is this?

- [BO] Oh!
- [MAZEY SCREAMS IN PAIN]

Just go!

- Please!
- [DUKE] Bo, Bo, Bo.

- [MAZEY WHIMPERS]
- [BONES cr*ck]

[SCREAMING IN PAIN]

- Oh my God!
- Oh my God! What the f*ck?

[BONES CRACKING]

Bo, Bo, Bo. No, we gotta go, Bo.

- [SNARLS]
- We have to go, Bo!

[BO] Oh my God. What's wrong with her?

- [BONES CRACKING]
- [SNARLS]

[GROWLING]

Oh, f*ck me.

[BOTH PANTING]

[SNARLING]

- Go, go, go, go, go!
- sh*t, sh*t.

- [DUKE] We gotta go!
- Just a couple more.

[SNARLS]

- [ROARS]
- [WHITTY SCREAMING]

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

- [FLESH TEARING]
- [WHITTY CHOKING]

[DUKE WHIMPERING]

[WHITTY SCREAMING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BO, HECTOR PANTING]

[HECTOR] Come on! Let's go!

[PANTING, WHIMPERING]

- Guys! Guys, help!
- [HECTOR] sh*t.

[WHIMPERING] Help!

[DUKE WHIMPERING]

- [BEAST SNARLING]
- [DUKE SCREAMING]

- [BO] Hector, what are you doing?
- His sh*ts are worth a million each, Bo.

[STRAINED] A million...

- [DUKE GROANS]
- [BO WHIMPERS]

... each!

[DUKE WHIMPERING]

- [BEAST GROWLS]
- [DUKE SCREAMING]

- [BO] Come on.
- [HECTOR] Come on! Go, go, go, go!

f*ck! f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

[SNARLING]

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BO WHIMPERS]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[BO GROANS]

[HECTOR GROANS]

[SHOUTING IN SPANISH]

[MAN SCREAMS]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BOTH PANTING]

[BEAST PANTING, SNARLING]

[BOTH PANTING]

[BEAST GROWLING]

g*dd*mn.

[TERRY] It's good, right?

Another satisfied victim.

g*dd*mn, Jesse.

Good to know.

That's what you ought to
call that, "pecan perfection."

I mean, the chicken was
perfection. The chicken was perfect.

- It is so easy to screw up chicken.
- [TERRY] Oh yeah.

Not many people know this.

They think, "Oh, well, you just
drop it in the deep fryer." No.

It's not about frying chicken.
You're gonna sauté it, bake it...

But it's gotta be done, you know...

Because you undercook it, and, you know,

people die.

- [BO PANTING]
- Lock it.

- Whoa, whoa! What...
- [BO WHIMPERS]

- [TERRY] What...
- Okay.

[TERRY] Are you okay? What...

[GRUNTING]

What is...

It could come in. It's out there!

It could be coming this way!
We need to block the door!

Ma'am. What has happened?

- Ma'am, calm down.
- Officer. Please just call for help.

- Calm down.
- [BO] Call for help! Call for help!

- I will momentarily, ma'am, but first...
- [BO] Please.

- f*cking call for help!
- Calm down.

Take a few deep breaths, settle down,

and explain to me what has happened.

Then maybe we can figure out
how we're gonna move forward.

[BO] No, just please
f*cking call for help!

- [CLAY] I will do that momentarily, ma'am.
- She's here.

But first, I need to understand...

No, no, no, no!

- Okay, back up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Officer. Sir.

- Stay down. Stay down.
- No, you don't under...

Officer! Officer! It's
out there, Officer!

You need to call for backup, Office...

- [JESSE SCREAMS]
- [DISHES CLATTERING]

[BO GASPS]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[TERRY] Hey, Jesse, you okay?

Jesse?

[WOMAN GASPS SOFTLY]

[BEAST GROWLS]

[MAN, WOMAN SCREAMING]

[BLOOD SQUELCHING]

[WOMAN] No!

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[WOMAN GASPING, CHOKING]

[HECTOR SCREAMS]

[BO SOBS]

[DISHES CLATTERING]

[CLAY SCREAMING]

[TENSE MUSIC SWELLS]

[BO SCREAMS]

[TENSE MUSIC SUBSIDES]

[LABORED BREATHING]

Hec. Hec.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY]

[HECTOR GURGLES]

[MAZEY] k*ll me.

Please.

k*ll me.

[SOBS]

Please.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Just... just sh**t me.

[SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MAZEY BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SOMBER MUSIC FADES]

[g*nsh*t]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[TENSE MUSIC FADES]
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