Got to blast!
♪ Into the stars,
goin' by Candy Bar's ♪
♪ Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪
♪ With a super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪
( barks )
♪ He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪
♪ This is the theme song ♪
♪ For Jimmy Neutron. ♪
( mechanical whirring )
( barks )
( yells )
( people screaming )
Heavens to
Harvey Fierstein!
This isn't
the Pomona bypass.
Willoughby, you dink!
I told you turn left
a the Pants Outlet!
I'm frightened and nauseated.
Where are we?
We're in hyperspace,
where no teacher
has gone before.
( squawks )
MISS FOWL:
I've got a good idea
who's responsible for this!
( kids cheering and whooping )
Friends, students, kids:
lend me your ears!
You may have noticed
that Miss Fowl isn't here
this morning.
Shouldn't they have returned
from Learnerpalooza by now?
Thanks to my new hyper-chip,
none of our teachers
will be back for an entire week.
( wild cheering )
Let's watch llama videos!
( cheering stops abruptly )
( cheering )
Let's party!
( party music playing )
Festival! Festival!
( laughing crazily )
( cheering, laughter )
Neutron, what did you do
to our teachers?
All I did was send them
on a little side trip
through hyperspace.
They'll be back in a week,
safe and sound.
BOTH:
♪ No teachers!
No teachers! No teachers! ♪
Spread the word, people--
school's out!
( shouting and whooping )
I'm king of the world!
JIMMY:
Coming through! Watch it!
Hey, what's wrong
with my rocket board?
( wailing )
Mom?
You are so grounded,
mister!
She's right, Jimbo.
I'm afraid your
senseless reign
of carnage is over.
CARL:
Hi, Jimmy.
You said to spread the word,
so I told our parents.
Aw!
You bring your teachers back
this instant!
I-I can't!
They're programmed
to come back in a week.
Then we will have to
round these children
up ourselves.
MAN ( kindly ):
Kids! Oh, kids?
Allow me, hon.
Quiet...!
( music stops,
kids fall silent )
JUDY:
Children--
please go to your classrooms.
Until Miss Fowl
and the others return,
we parents will be filling in
as substitute teachers.
( all groaning and complaining )
Substitute teachers?
Good idea, Judy.
The kids shouldn't miss
one precious day of education.
Mom, Dad, you can't do this!
It'll be totally embarrassing.
Don't be silly, Jimbo.
Your mother would never dream
of embarrassing you.
No... don't!
Yuck!
Now, now, we don't want to be
a Mr. Smudgey-face, do we?
( all laughing )
"Mr. Smudgey-face!"
Talk about being stripped
of all dignity!
JUDY:
Your turn, Butch.
( spitting
into handkerchief )
I've lived too long.
I'm next!
Again.
Oh, this couldn't get
more humiliating.
Before we go on, let's look
at Jimmy's baby pictures.
( students laughing, jeering )
Now, kids, as Carl is
now demonstrating,
germ-free back skin
begins at home.
Harder, son!
You show those germs
who's boss!
CINDY:
Hey, Carl!
Can you come over
and wash my parents?
( all laughing )
Now, now, kids.
My Carl knows that good health
and hygiene
is nothing to be ashamed of.
Right, son?
Right, Dad.
Great!
Now let's show 'em
how to lance a boil!
( students exclaim in disgust )
Remember, kids,
working with wood
can be a great
family activity.
My son Sheen and I
made these
pretty dollies together
in our spare time.
( all laughing )
Dad, they're not dollies!
They're action-play companions!
Some nights, instead of TV,
Sheen will pretend to be
the little girl doll
and I'll be her magic
flying pony.
( kids laughing )
( father imitating
neighing )
Don't be sad, Sheen.
Let's fly away
to Happy Rainbow Mountain.
( groans )
( body thuds )
Kids, the book my wife gave me
says that gym class
should build self-esteem.
Everyone turn around
and hug your neighbor.
( groaning in disgust )
Go on, Jimbo,
hug your little men-friends.
Dad, I'm not hugging anyone.
Don't make me blow this whistle,
young man.
No!
No, not
the whistle!
( shrill whistling )
All right,
all right!
( chirps whistle )
( groaning in disgust )
Okey dokey, let's move on
to the trust exercises.
( whistle chirps )
SHEEN:
Could our parents
have embarrassed us more today?
What's wrong, Carl?
Is my seven-layer
soy mulch too tough?
Let Mommy pre-chew it
for you.
( chewing noisily )
( chewing noisily,
food splats onto plate )
( slurps )
Mmm...
( stomach rumbling )
I mean, gross!
You boys enjoy.
I can't take it anymore!
I actually wish
we had our teachers back.
Are you going to finish
your soy mulch?
Parents want to be
substitute teachers, huh?
Well, I say it's time
to sink some subs.
GRUBBER:
Elbow, elbow!
Keep searching, everyone.
We're looking for some type
of shiny blinky sciencey gizmo.
Do they have restrooms
in hyperspace?
GRUBBER:
I'm keeping any change I find!
JIMMY:
Almost done, Goddard.
The secret w*apon
that'll make our parents run
screaming from the school.
I call it "Rebellion."
It's a concentrated version
of the hormone that makes kids
challenge authority.
One whiff of this
and they'll run amok.
Faced with such
sheer raw mayhem,
the parents will be forced
to bail.
( smacks kiss )
SHEEN:
Psst.
Psst-psst!
SHEEN ( muffled ):
Jimmy.
Carl and I have decided to
run away
and join the carney circuit.
You in?
You won't need to.
I've got the answer
to our problems.
JUDY:
Jimmy!
CARL AND SHEEN:
Ow!
What have you got?
( gulps ) Uh-oh.
Is that one of
your experiments?
Bring it up.
( students taunting Jimmy )
You know you're
grounded from
doing science.
B-but Mom...
No buts!
You march off
to your next class.
I'm going to keep this
in a safe place.
( slurping )
Neutron, this coffee you made
is absolutely delicious!
Thanks, but my secret ingredient
is the low-cal sweetener
Judy brought.
Hugh, that's not
low-cal sweetener!
That's the bottle I took
from Jimmy this morning!
Well, it tastes marvelous.
Sí, so robusto.
Oh... dear.
Guys, we've got to get back
that hormone bottle.
It could be highly toxic
to adults.
( parents whooping
and shouting )
I'm sick of all the rules
around here, man!
This place is totally bogus!
I told you not to come
into my room!
Whatever!
You are not
the boss of me!
Oh, no! They've been exposed
to the hormone.
Guys, try to calm
your parents down.
KID:
Ow...!
Stop!
( kids whining )
JIMMY:
Mom, Dad!
Stop sh**ting those spitballs
right now!
Who's going to
make us?
You?
As if!
Ah! No!
Hey, don't!
MAN:
Give me that!
Dad, stop!
You just can't take
people's stuff.
You're about to get served,
chumps!
( lively polka playing )
( screaming, shouting in pain )
Dad, I'm warning you!
Behave yourself!
You can't tell me what to do!
Stop trying
to ruin my life!
( motorcycle roaring )
GRUBBER:
Ow! The elbow!
It's no use.
We've looked everywhere.
( sniffing )
Ooh, and it's getting musty
in here.
Coach Grubber,
could you grab
a fresh stick
of pine scent
from the glove
compartment?
GRUBBER:
Hey, what the heck is this?
One of Jimmy's gadgets.
I knew we'd find it.
What happens if you press
this button?
( all shouting )
Let's trash this place!
( all cheering )
ALL:
Food fight!
Guys, stop!
You've got to listen.
You've been exposed
to a concentrated hormone.
If you don't calm down,
it could damage
your endocrine system.
Hmm... what do
you think, Jude?
Get him!
( shouting angrily )
Calm down, people.
You don't want this on
your permanent record, do you?
( tires screeching )
( all gasp )
( all gasp )
( all gasp )
Jimmy, I'd like a word with you.
Guys, you've got to get
these parents under control.
They're loopy and need
medical attention!
You can't control us!
No way-- you're totally lame!
Parents rebelling
against teachers?
Has the world gone mad?!
Folks, I think someone needs
some discipline.
Good thing I stocked up
on teaching aids--
like these eraser nunchucks!
( all shouting aggressively )
( whooping )
( coughing )
And I'm glad I picked up
this crate of dodge balls!
Look out!
My new high-carb pancake recipe
should make them slow
and lethargic.
( batter splats )
( snoring )
How about you, old woman?
What do you bring
to the party, hmm?
Young man, in 74 years
of teaching,
the only thing I've ever needed
is my piercing
educator's skunk-eye!
No, not the skunk-eye!
Don't look at me!
Back! Back, I say!
( Hugh, other parents
complaining )
( batter splatting )
( dreamily ):
Bicycle...
( all snoring )
Great job, everyone.
Our parents should be
back to normal
just as soon
as they wake up.
Thank heavens for that.
As for you, young man,
we found your little
hyperspace gizmo.
It'll never happen again!
In fact, I've learned
a valuable lesson
about the importance
of our teaching professionals.
You're still getting
900 days detention.
And no soup
on Soup Tuesday!
In fact, drop and give me 40,
maggot, right now!
( straining ):
But... you're not...
the boss... of me.
Double-time,
Neutron!
CINDY:
In the library,
Neutron's foot hit mine
so I tapped his foot back
and he kicked mine again.
I think we were playing footsie.
Promise you won't tell.
Of course-- you know how
I respect people's privacy.
So what are the guys
doing now?
Uh... they're up to something.
( beeping )
( news program theme music
plays )
I'm locked onto the evening news
video feed.
You're on!
Yes, ( clears throat ).
Hello.
This just in-- I'm not wearing
pants under this desk.
Repeat-- I'm not wearing pants.
Um, hi.
Who wants to see my head
spin around?
Whee!
Well, that's odd.
I don't remember
the weather lady being
quite so... hideous.
Come on, anchorman,
spin your head with me.
Whee!
Whee!
BOTH:
We're spinning our heads.
( both laughing )
( both laughing )
( disgusted sigh )
We're in a lot of trouble.
( brakes screech )
I'm going to make you boys
superstars!
Huh?
Huh?
What?
I saw your crazy news show.
I want to produce a kid's
evening news starring you boys.
Huh?
Huh?
What?
We don't know anything
about doing the news!
That's what makes it
so crazy fresh!
You are my anchorman.
You will do sports.
Round boy does weather.
You're rewarding
these chowderheads
for hacking into the news?!
You can be co-anchor!
I'm in.
Can I do a gossip segment?
Extra crazy!
You all start tonight.
Ciao.
CARL:
What!
ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to Kid's Evening News
with Jimmy Neutron
and Cindy Vortex,
Carl Wheezer on weather,
Sheen Estevez on sports
and Libby Folfax
with "The Word."
Good evening.
I'm Jimmy Neutron here now
with the news.
Tragedy struck Retroville today
as local boy Nick Dean broke his
leg for the 15th time this year.
Nick is expected to make
a full recovery
and break his leg again
soon after.
Cindy?
Foreign exchange student
Bolbi Stroganovsky
officially entered the Miss
Retroville beauty pageant today.
Asked to explain his action,
Mr. Stroganovsky replied:
( imitating Bolbi ):
Bolbi pretty.
Bolbi win pageant-- good.
Jimmy?
Butch Bukowski was today awarded
the Bully of the Year award
from the Juvenile Delinquent
Society.
In a tear-filled speech,
Bukowski accepted the award,
then used it to b*at his host
about the head, neck and chest.
And now let's go
to the always jolly Dr. Carl
in the Weather Center.
Carl?
Hello, Retroville!
I hope you had
a scrumpdili-icious day!
Let's wish a big, old
"Happy Birthday"
to Old Lady Nussbaum,
who turns 102 today.
Here's a nice, big Weather
Center hug from Dr. Carl.
SHEEN:
Just tell us
the weather!
( blows raspberry )
Tomorrow's Wheezer Weather:
you'd better grab your sombrero,
mi amigo,
because it's going to be as hot
as Mexico.
( to conga rhythm ):
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-duh ♪
♪ Da-da-da-d... ♪
Ow! My scapula!
Thanks, Dr. Carl.
Now here's Sheen
with the sports.
Evening, sports fans.
Today, Oleander and Ike faced
off against each other
in varsity wrestling.
Let's go to the videotape.
Right, no videotape.
Let's go to the action figures.
Oleander puts Ike
in a half nelson,
then Ike kicks him in the shins.
Bam! Boom! Bam!
I've never seen anyone take
this much punishment.
Wait! Ike is burping
in Oleander's face.
( Sheen burps )
Oleander is passing out.
Ike just might go all the way.
( shouts )
Now, here's Libby.
Ow!
( screams )
What's up, y'all?
This is Libby with "The Word."
Well, it seems
a certain big-headed genius
has been playing footsie in the
library with a blond colleague.
Looks like
this love-hate relationship
is turning into all love
all the time.
Check it out.
Everybody's talking
about a certain someone
with the initials C.W.
who had toilet paper hanging off
his shoe all day today.
P.S. He still doesn't know.
( Carl squeals )
Check it out.
( Carl screaming )
( crash )
What hyperactive cutie
has been worrying pals
by talking to an imaginary
hand puppet?
Here's a hint:
his name rhymes with "Bean."
Well, I'm out of time.
See you tomorrow on "The Word."
G...
Good night and thanks
for watching.
MAN:
Cut.
Libby!
You just violated, like,
ten people's privacy.
I thought you were down
with my gossip.
Not when it's about me!
Or me!
BOTH:
Or us!
Or me.
What's the big deal?
I didn't use actual names.
I'm sure no one even knew
who I was talking about.
Your foot's all out
of toilet paper!
♪ Jimmy and Cindy ♪
♪ Sittin'
in a... ♪
( whack )
( thud )
( gasping ):
Tree.
BOY:
Sheen!
How about our hand puppets
do lunch?
( laughter )
Wow!
I'm a star.
( kids conversing )
GIRL:
You're kidding!
Okay, children, quiet down.
I'm going to hand back
your essays now.
LIBBY:
A "C"?!
Something wrong, Libby?
No, Miss Fowl, but I hope you're
not grading and driving again.
You don't want
to go back to prison.
Those charges were never proven!
Who told you about that?
Though it would make
a good story for tonight.
Did I write "C"?
I meant "A".
I always get those confused.
LIBBY:
Marisa has hair extensions?
Girl, how do you know?
You'd better tell me unless you
want that ugly tattoo of yours
splashed all over prime time.
( phone beeps off )
Talk to me.
You call that embarrassing?!
Call me when you get
some real dirt.
Uh, where are
my cherries?!
Or do you want
people to know
that half your
chocolate sprinkles
are ants?
The lady wants cherries!
Come on, move, move,
move, move, move!
She's turned into a monster.
She has dirt
on everyone in town.
So? What do we care?
She already gossiped about us.
We're on every night,
Coach Clueless.
Do you think she won't
eventually report
on your addiction
to candy?
And I can only imagine
what she has on Carl.
I don't sniff my own feet.
It just looks that way
when I'm doing yoga.
Thanks for
the stories, guys.
Libby, what's happened to you?
Look, I'll make a deal:
stop your gossip segment
and I'll give you...
Candy!
No, Cindy's
co-anchor job.
( exclaims )
Ouch.
Excuse me.
I've got to go-- I need more
juicy stories for tonight.
Guys, I have
an idea.
Does it involve candy?
JIMMY:
No.
Libby wants stories, right?
Well, let's give her a story
she can't resist.
LIBBY:
Ain't no way Miss Fowl's a man!
( knocking on door )
I've got to go,
Principal Willoughby.
Come in.
Hey, Lib.
I wanted to wish you
a good show tonight.
Oh, and even though our dressing
rooms are next to each other,
don't look through
that peephole into mine.
I'll try to resist, Carl.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm looking for one last story.
Okay, well, you won't find
your story
through that peephole,
that's for sure,
although you will be
shocked and amazed
and sickened
and disgusted
and terrified!
Well, got to go.
Greetings, mighty alien masters.
Greetings,
Carl of Earth.
Have you prepared
for our arrival?
Yes, I have, masters.
Have you laid in a supply
of kittens for us to snack on?
Yes, I have, masters.
( kittens mewling )
Excellent.
I knew he'd be
a good recipient
for our sl*very-inducing
brain worm.
ALL:
Mm-mmm.
ALIEN 3:
Soon we will descend
upon your planet
and steal the spleens
of your species
to play Spleen Ball with.
Mm, Earth spleens
are so bouncy.
It's like a whole different
game.
ALL:
Mm-mmm.
( whispering ):
Is that it?
Oh, um... okay. Bye.
( simulates farting )
( all simulate farting )
( farts loudly )
And then the aliens put a worm
in Carl's brain
that makes him their sl*ve.
And they eat kittens,
and they're coming
to steal our spleens
to play Spleen Ball with.
I'm not kidding!
Thanks for that fascinating
report, Libby.
Well, that's the news.
Good night and thanks
for watching.
( all laughing )
Oh, that was classic.
( giggles ):
Earth spleens.
No one's going to believe
Libby ever again.
( laughing ):
Yeah.
Except those guys.
There's the alien
sl*ve kid.
Get him!
( mob yelling )
thr*aten our kittens,
hey, buster?!
Libby, you have to stop them
from hurting Carl.
Yeah, he's not an alien.
We made it all up so you'd lose
your credibility.
What?!
Oh, no!
Okay, get ready to pelt him.
Wait! Stop!
Carl's not an alien.
CROWD:
Huh?!
CARL:
What?
But it was on the local news!
I know, but it wasn't true.
Those guys tricked me
into saying it.
( coughs )
( whistling )
Oh.
Then pelt them!
CROWD:
Yeah!
Wait! Stop!
Don't pelt them, either.
Look, I guess by getting
all caught up in being a star,
I forced my friends
to do what they did.
We forgive you,
Libby.
And I hope you'll
still trust us
with the sacred dignity
of the local news.
Not necessary,
because you are all fired!
What?!
That's right, I need to make
room for my crazy new show,
Everybody Loves Hand Puppets.
Hi, everybody.
Yes.
Pelt Corky!
( crowd yelling )
Forgive me, guys?
Ah, what the heck.
I guess things worked out okay
after all.
Come on, let's go home.
CARL:
Um... hello, guys.
Wait up.
Okay, you're
coming back, right?
Right?
Guys?
My scapula.
MAN:
Paul?
JIMMY:
Got to blast!
03x17 - How to Sink a Sub/Lady Sings the News
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows a scientifically-minded boy named Jimmy Neutron who frequently goes on adventures with his two best friends Sheen and Carl, usually involving his inventions going awry.
Follows a scientifically-minded boy named Jimmy Neutron who frequently goes on adventures with his two best friends Sheen and Carl, usually involving his inventions going awry.