02x02 - Forbidden Fruit

[bunniefuu]

ADULT DEAN: In the ' s,
every boy dreamed

of having a treehouse.

A place where he could get away
from it all and be a kid...

read comics, eat candy, sh**t spitballs,

and have secret
make-out sessions with the girl

no one can ever know
he's making out with.

Dean, what are we doing?

I thought we were kissing.

Am I doing it wrong? Was that your nose?

What if Broderick finds out?

I know. I do feel bad
for cheating on him.

I'm cheating on him.

I'm his girlfriend.

You're just his friend.

His best friend, but okay. Whatever.

Up until three months ago,
he thought your name was Gene.

[VEHICLE APPROACHES, HORN HONKS]

KEISA: I thought you said
no one was home.

- [CAR DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE]
- [SIGHS]

I don't know why you're
getting mad at me.

That judge was treating me
like some sort of thief.

Because you stole a car, Jackie!

ADULT DEAN: Allegedly.

You're supposed to say "allegedly."

I learned that from Dragnet.
[CHUCKLES, GASPS]

Baby, come here!

- Boy, get out!
- JACKIE: No, come, come.

Come to Aunty Jackie. Oh, look at you!

ADULT DEAN:
Man, did I love my Aunt Jackie.

She was what you'd call "the fun aunt."

Mostly because she had no kids
of her own to spoil

and no idea of what was appropriate.

If there's anything
you don't understand,

please ask me, not your mom.

I mean, she's still blaming me
for the time you said

"throbbing manhood" at dinner.
[CHUCKLES]

ADULT DEAN: Mama loved her sister, too.

But their relationship was
a little more complicated.

We didn't have the expression
"drama queen" back then,

or "hot mess."

But Aunt Jackie always seemed to be

- on the verge of some emotional crisis.
- [SOBBING]

Well, uh, lucky for you,

your boyfriend decided
not to press charges.

Ex-boyfriend.

And Keith should have given me that car,

the way he was stepping out on me.

Listen, Jackie, you have
to stop living like this.

We can't keep bailing you out.

Think about the example
you're setting for the kids.

You know what? You're right.

I can't keep doing what I'm doing...

going from man to man,
job to job, city to city...

man to man.

You said "man to man" twice.

I said what I said, Bill.

But now it's time for me
to turn over a new leaf.

Yeah, stop all my bad habits
and get right.

Well, that sounds wonderful.

Y'all are such a good influence on me.

I mean that.

In fact, if I'm going to
turn my life around,

I gotta be closer to y'all.

- Wait, what now?
- I'll move to Montgomery.

Get my own apartment.

How much is this going to cost me?

Nothing. This is one of the
new leaves I'm turning over.

I am self-sufficient.

'Course I'll have to stay with you

just for a little while
until I get on my own two feet.

[♪]

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Ohhh, through the highs and the lows ♪

♪ I'mma find my way home ♪

[♪]

Jackie doesn't mean it.

I've heard this "new leaf" song
before, and I ain't buying it.

$ ! $ I've given your sister
since she got here!

How many times has she done this?

She makes a mess of her life,

and then expects me to swoop
in and pick up the pieces.

I am not some machine with buttons

she can push that spits out
cash whenever she wants it.

And she never even thanks me.

In fact, she resents me
for being the responsible one.

And is that something I'm supposed to be

apologizing for?

Then she makes that cr*ck
about me being cheap.

Bill, there's only room
for one of us to be upset,

and it's the person whose ponytail

- she cut off in the fourth grade.
- Right.

So, did you bring me anything?

Say, the sequel to
Low Lies the Heavy Heart?

Oh, no, baby.

I promised your mama
I'd turn over a new leaf.

And those romance novels
will mess with your head.

What? But I have to read it.

I have to know if Ricardo the stableboy

finds true love with the Duchess.

Or will society keep them apart?

What's going on?

- You know you can tell me anything.
- [SIGHS]

- Well, I have a girlfriend...
- Sweet!

- ... who has a boyfriend...
- Oh.

- ... who's also my friend.
- Oof.

Yeah, it's... it's complicated.

Been there.

But I also kind of dig it.

Falling for someone
who you know you shouldn't...

that's called "forbidden fruit."

Yes! Like that one book about the maid

who falls in love with the prince.

What's it called?

- Forbidden Fruit.
- Right.

JACKIE: I once dated this guy...

we were from very different backgrounds.

He would never introduce me
to his friends.

I wanted him to take me
to his country club,

but of course,
that was out of the question.

He was always wearing khakis and polos.

ADULT DEAN: Okay, clearly
Aunt Jackie was talking

about sleeping with a white guy.

But that went right over my head.

All I could think was,

"My life's just like a romance novel."

How cool is that?

- But we can't.
- But we must.

- But we can't.
- Must!

And if they find out?

Let them talk.

- Very well, m'lady.
- [HORSE WHINNIES]

I just had an idea.

I'm going to invite Jackie
to attend church

with our family on Sunday.

- You think she'll come?
- Of course not!

I'm just calling her bluff.

Calling her bluff or showing her up?

I'm saving us time.

She's going to cr*ck eventually
and return back to her old ways.

You're right about that.

I'm going to ask her tomorrow.

And watch the excuses start rolling in.

"I don't have a bible."

"I didn't bring any church clothes."

"I slept with the pastor."

I ain't pack any church clothes.

But you know what, who cares?

The good Lord will understand
if I'm dressed a little sexier

than those frumpy old church ladies.

I'd love to join you. [CHUCKLES]

Wait, what's the pastor's name?

Singleton.

Phew! Okay, let's go to church!

PASTOR SINGLETON: Yes, yes.
Say "amen," everybody.

- CONGREGATION: Amen.
- Now, if you are wanting

salvation on this morning,

you're in the right place.

Say "amen," somebody.

- CONGREGATION: Amen.
- JACKIE: We should play a game.

Do a sh*t of communion wine
every time he says "salvation."

- "Amen" will get us drunk faster.
- [HUSHED LAUGHTER]

Jackie! You could at least try
to present a good example

for your niece and nephew.

Now, before I start my sermon...

- Wait, that wasn't the sermon?
- Jackie.

PASTOR SINGLETON: ... let me just
take this opportunity to ask

if there are any first-time
visitors with us this morning.

If you're here, come on,
stand and introduce yourselves.

Is there one?

Yes, sister.

- Hi, I'm Jackie.
- CONGREGATION: Hi, Jackie.

I'd like to start by giving honor

to the pastor and the first lady,

the deacons and the elders
and the what-nots...

I also want to thank my older
sister, Lillian Williams...

- Amen.
- JACKIE: ... who has put me

- on a path to righteousness.
- CONGREGATION: Amen.

She knows Satan has been
very busy in my life,

yes he has.

And I've fallen victim
to that demon alcohol.

I get that from my mama.

She would hide a little flask
in a bag of flour.

You know how that goes.

And I have consorted
with countless loose men...

- [CONGREGATION MURMURS]
- ... which Lillian warned me against.

PASTOR SINGLETON: Amen, sister. Mm-hmm.

Although, Bill was no saint
when you met him.

Ain't that right, Bill? [CHUCKLES]

But like the good Lord,

- Lillian was always by my side.
- CONGREGATION: Amen.

Of course, I don't think the
good Lord would have taught me

how to sneak all those boys
into the house

- the way that Lillian did.
- [CONGREGATION MURMURS]

That's right, she was fast, y'all.

But now, she saves her body
for Bill and Jesus.

- Oh.
- All right, can I get an amen?

CONGREGATION: Amen.

That was good.

[♪]

See you next Sunday.

I like going to church
with you, Aunt Jackie.

You kept me awake
almost the whole service.

Oh? Thank you, sweetie. [CHUCKLES]

"See you next Sunday"?
What is she up to?

Look, I'm skeptical, too,
but just in case she is serious

about getting her act together,
wouldn't it be nice

to get her out of our house
and off our payroll?

What are you up to?

I heard you mention there's an opening

in the secretarial pool at your office.

You want me to work with my sister?

We are still on holy grounds,

so I will just say that will not happen.

Hi, there. We're Vivian and Cliff Long.

We're friends of the Williams family.

A... And we look forward
to hearing all the dirt

about Lillian back in the day.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES] Oh,

I couldn't do that,

unless you ask me real nice
and buy me a drink.

[LAUGHTER]

Actually, maybe you all should
come over for supper tonight.

VIVIAN: Oh, good.

Hey, look, we're there.

Now, warning, I like my drinks strong.

- So do I.
- [LAUGHS]

- You know what I'm saying?
- Oh, please, Cliff.

She don't want you.

- Come on.
- All right.

[♪]

- [CLIFF AND JACKIE LAUGHING]
- You stirring that thing.

Uh-huh. [LAUGHS]

CLIFF: Stir it up.

Jackie, I thought you were
giving up alcohol

on your "path to righteousness."

It's a grasshopper... just a milkshake

with a little kick to it. Be cool.

"Be cool"? That's my thing.

Can you believe her?
Talking about some "be cool."

- How long I've been saying "be cool"?
- [CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

I only have a few minutes
to spare, m'lady.

Eww, don't say that.

ADULT DEAN: Yeah, too much.

But as I learned from my favorite book,

it's hard to resist
that forbidden fruit.

I hope they have breath mints in hell,

'cause we ain't stopping.

JACKIE: That was it.

So I moved to Montgomery,
and now all I need is a job.

Oh, you looking for a job?

I'm surprised Lillian ain't tell you.

Tell me? Tell me what?

Oh, they just told us
about an opening in... in...

an opening in the...
in the Treasury Department.

Uh, Lillian, what's wrong with you?

What... Is something stuck
on your finger?

What... Oh, i... is a bee in here?

Wait, Treasury... Isn't that
where you work, Lillian?

Yes.

Uh, but no, I don't think
there's a job open.

In fact, I'm surprised you mentioned it,

considering all the layoffs

that have been happening
in our department.

S... S... Say what?
No... Nobody told me that.

Who... Who they laying off?

Are you keeping something from me?

No! Girl, I just didn't think
that working for the State

- would be exciting enough for you.
- JACKIE: Is that it?

Or are you afraid
that I'll embarrass you?

CLIFF: Is it... Is it me?

A... A... Am I the one getting the boot?

T... Tell it to me straight,
Lillian. Come on.

If you're really serious,

I'll call Personnel first thing Monday

and see what they have available.

Ah! Thank you!

[CHUCKLES] Lillian,
Lillian, Lillian, Lillian,

you're not answering me.
You're not answering me back.

Lillian! Li... Lord!

I know it's a lot,
so don't worry if it takes you

- a while to get it.
- I got it.

It's a lot to remember.

Incoming memos go in these envelopes.

The bottom name tells you which inbox.

Outgoing memos get sorted by department,

then put on the cart
to go out before I leave.

Too bad you couldn't remember
to put some clothes on.

Oh, come on. Let me at least
have these two buttons.

You are hiding my light under a bushel.

- That's a Bible reference.
- I know.

And you better be taking this seriously.

I put myself on the line
to get you this job.

I get it. You saved me,
you're the hero...

again. But don't worry.

I know what I'm doing.

You've only had one office job.

I've had . Hm!

Oh, Mr. Davidson? Hey.

I... I'd like you to meet
my sister Jackie.

She's gonna be
joining the secretarial pool.

Ah. Welcome aboard, Jackie.

Uh, we're a pretty happy crew here,

but I still run a tight ship.

Aye-aye, captain. [CHUCKLES]

I do love a man who knows
how to take command.

[WHISPERING] Jackie.

Huh. Never would've thought
the two of you

were sisters, Lillian.
She's a real firecracker.

- Ka-boom!
- Ooh!

Boom, boom, boom!

- Oh, my.
- [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

- What?
- Jackie.

So I told him, "I don't know
about your other girlfriends,

but you're gonna have to buy me
a bottle of champagne

and a boatload of flowers
if you want me to do that."

- [LAUGHTER]
- Lillian, your sister's a hoot!

Wait, you're Lillian's sister?

- You're nothing alike.
- [LAUGHTER]

Now, you know that promotion
Lillian just got?

I could've had that, you know.

But I wanted to let her shine, you know.

I'm all about my Black queens.

- Well, you can call me "Your Majesty."
- [BOTH LAUGH]

Clifford, here are the papers
you wanted.

Clifford? What you talking about?

Oh, the "fun police" is on patrol.

Mr. Davidson asked me

to handle his personal correspondence.

Ooh, sounds like everyone loves you.

And who wouldn't love this? [LAUGHS]

Hey, you two should come down
and visit me one of these days.

Jackie, you've been there for one day.

You can't be inviting visitors.

I just thought it'd be fun.

The State of Alabama
did not hire you for fun.

- And frankly...
- JACKIE: "Frankly"?

Uh-oh, Professor Killjoy

- is starting another one of her lectures.
- [LAUGHS]

You are too familiar with
your superiors and your peers.

I've been working there for years,

and it can be a challenging environment.

JACKIE: And that's what it is, isn't it?

You've been there forever,
and in just one day,

- I'm more popular than you.
- What? No!

I am not trying to win
a popularity contest.

Mission accomplished.

I'm trying to keep you
from losing your job

during the first week.

That's how you see it.

But I'm trying to change.

And maybe that's something
you can't see, or don't want to.

Kim, can you help me
pick out a work outfit?

Your mama made me dress
like a virgin today.

Mm, she makes me dress
like a virgin, too.

Like a virgin?

Come on, Bill. Get with the times.

- Yeah, tell him, Auntie.
- I mean, as long as she's ...

Good Lord.

ADULT DEAN:
The next day, I went downtown

to run an errand for Mama.

But before I could do that,
I ran into...

- Dean?
- Keisa!

Hey, y... you wanna meet at the
treehouse later? We can...

- Oh.
- Dean!

Long time no see, man.

Hey. Broderick, hi!

I... I haven't seen you since
I got back from New York.

O... Or Keisa.

Uh, I haven't seen Keisa either.

How crazy is that?

I'm taking Keisa to get ice cream.

You want to come?

Uh, and be a third wheel? No, sir.

But y... you two have fun, and
don't do anything I wouldn't do.

ADULT DEAN: Well, that was...

disturbing. And confusing.

Because I actually did want
some ice cream.

I needed to talk it over with somebody.

So I went to the one person
who always understood.

- Hey, Aunt Jackie.
- Hey, baby.

Let me finish this,
and then I'll get you a snack.

You know, there's free stuff
in the kitchen.

And by free, I mean don't let
anyone see you take anything.

[LAUGHS]

- Jackie?
- Keith?!

- [GASPS]
- LILLIAN: Dean?

- DEAN: Mom!
- Who's he?

Oh, that's Keith.

He came back, just like Rodrigo
in the stables

after the Duke's hunting party.

How did you find me?

Your sister called me.

- Lillian?
- Uh, Jackie, Keith.

When you first came back,
I made a few calls to Atlanta,

just to see what you were up to.

I didn't think he would come.

It don't matter what got me back here.

Jackie, I know I'm not perfect...

Ha! That's an understatement.

But after you left,

I realized I made a big mistake
letting you go.

And then I heard you got a job,

and you're trying to turn
your life around,

and, well, it inspired me
to try to be a better man.

Like those men in those books you love.

WOMEN: Aww.

So, I'm gonna get a job, too.

And if you want to live in Montgomery,

then I'll come to Montgomery.

Just so long as we can be together.

Oh, boo star!

- [LAUGHS]
- [APPLAUSE]

ADULT DEAN: I couldn't believe
this was happening.

It was just like a romance novel!

The poor, ne'er-do-well scoundrel

on the run from the law reforms
for the woman he loves.

Yes, I realize that I have
just dangerously stereotyped

this Black man
that I know nothing about,

- but let's see how this goes.
- Lillian.

I know she's your sister,

but this behavior's inappropriate.

She's turned the bullpen

into some kind of New York hootenanny.

ADULT DEAN: Not a thing.
But point taken.

I'm so sorry.

I thought she was gonna be
more like you.

But now I'm afraid I have to, uh,

make the tough decision to let her go.

- I understand, Mr. Davidson.
- Good.

Let me know when you tell her.

[♪]

[♪]

Sorry you lost your job, Aunt Jackie.

It's okay, baby.

Your mama let me down real easy.

I mean, she gave me
so many martinis last night

before she told me
that I didn't even realize

I was fired 'til this morning.

Do you have to go back to Atlanta?

Yeah, I want to give
Keith another chance.

Especially since he didn't
send me to jail.

Now, that's true love. Mm.

Man, relationships are tough.

Mm, you are preaching to the choir, son.

But, you know, sometimes maybe
people like you and me...

people who feel really deeply...

maybe we just make things
a little more complicated

than they need to be.

- You think I'm doing that?
- Yeah.

Look, I get how exciting
"forbidden fruit" is.

But maybe you're better off
being honest with your friend.

Then you can have a real
relationship with that girl,

like you deserve.

Well, I am tired of sneaking around.

Trust me, that gets old real quick.

Like, one time, I was dating this guy,

and he said he wanted to be with me,

but, of course, we only met at my house.

And God forbid I call his place.
So many rules.

ADULT DEAN: Clearly
Aunt Jackie was talking about

sleeping with a married guy.

But, again, it went right over my head.

All I could think about
is that she was right.

Keisa and I needed to tell
Broderick the truth.

Thanks, Aunt Jackie.

I'm gonna miss talking to you.

Well, maybe next time, talk to your mom.

I mean, she's had more
successful relationships

than I have.

And I'm talking about the
relationships before your dad.

- ADULT DEAN: Oh, Jackie.
- Hey...

I figured you might want this.

[♪]

Mm.

[♪]

- Hey.
- DEAN: Wait.

[SIGHS] Before we do, you know,

kissing stuff, I have to say something.

I can't keep sneaking behind
Broderick's back.

We have to tell him.

I just broke up with Broderick.

Seriously? Problem solved. Pucker up!

And I'm breaking up with you, too.

What?

I'm not ready for all
this relationship stuff.

It's too hard.

I don't want to be the reason
somebody's happy or sad.

I just want to be me for a while.

But...

- I'm sorry, Dean.
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

ADULT DEAN: Anybody know
what a stableboy does

- when he's not kissing?
- [COW MOOS]

Bill, I told you, you don't
have to drive me to the station.

- I do if I want to save $ on cab fare.
- [CHUCKLES]

Again, I am sorry.

Lillian, stop apologizing.

I know your heart was
in the right place.

LILLIAN: No, it wasn't.

I always said to myself
that you would never change.

But then when you actually
tried to change,

turns out I'm the one
who couldn't change.

I always just thought of you as...

Black-sheep Jackie?

The screw-up?

The train wreck?

Yes. But also, Jackie the fun sister.

The popular sister.

The one everybody loves.

It hasn't been easy
growing up in your shadow.

Aww, I had a shadow?

Thank you. Well, here's what we'll do.

You be more fun.

You know, unbutton
that blouse a few buttons

and let them things breathe.

And I promise I will get
my [BLEEP] together.

Well, you could start
by losing the cuss words.

Oh. There you go again,
hiding my light under a bushel.

Now, are you sure about Keith?

I don't want you wasting your
time with a man who cheats.

Well, to be fair, I cheated first.

He just doesn't know.

- But new leaf, here I come.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

All right, let's go.

Oh, Bill, I got paid
for my three days at the State,

so here's the $ that I owe you.

Oh, I didn't think you'd... Thank you.

- Oh, wait. I need $ for the bus.
- That's a $ .

What, I can't buy myself
a couple of beers

with my money that I earned?

Lillian, I do not know
how you put up with him.

I told you
you should have married Edgar.

Bill. Come on. I don't wanna be late.

Edgar? Who's Edgar?

[♪]