02x03 - Football Team

[bunniefuu]

ADULT DEAN: Men in the ' s didn't have

the same emotional I. Q. as men today,

especially when it
came to how they related

to their daughters.

Daddy, I have to use the potty.

Lil!

♪ And not often kind ♪

♪ Did you ever have
to make up your mind? ♪

Daddy, can I talk to
you about something?

- Lil!
- Daddy, how do I...

Lil!

♪ By her older sister ♪

♪ When in walks her father... ♪

moon cycles later,

things hadn't changed that
much between her and Dad.

Mom, on the other hand, had no trouble

engaging with Kim on a daily basis.

There better be a reason why you're

not dressed for school this morning.

Well, because of all my
hard work and dedication,

I've officially finished
high school math.

So, I arranged my schedule this semester

so I could have two free
periods in the morning.

Now I can sleep in.

No one in this household sleeps
till the middle of the morning.

And aren't you gonna be late for work?

My first class isn't until : .

Why are you still in your pajamas?

Apparently, your daughter has completed

her high school math requirements

- and has free time in the mornings.
- Free time?

Time around here ain't free.

Your father's right.

You need to put that time to good use.

Well, Kim does need all
the beauty rest she can get.

[LAUGHS]

[SCOFFS] Joke's on you.

I scooped up half the cereal
from off the floor anyway.

Maybe you should keep your skills sharp.

Take some advanced math classes
at your father's college.

But, Mama...

Don't talk back to your mother.

- And you're gonna drive her.
- But, Lillian...

Don't talk back to your wife.

I cleared my mornings so I
don't have to be on campus.

Sorry, but that's the plan.

It'll be good for you two
to spend some time together.

- And no pushback from either one of you.
- [SCOFFS]

[GRUNTS ANGRILY]

I just didn't want Kim to see that.

[♪]

It was the first day of th grade,

and finally, we were no longer
the babies of the school.

And we were all ready to
participate in an important

Southern rite of passage...
joining the football team.

Mind you, none of us were
very athletic or tough...

I mean, besides Cory.

He just stabbed himself
in the ear with his pick,

and you'd never even know it.

But at our school,
football was described

by two wonderful
words... no cuts. [LAUGHS]

Which meant th grade
could be a giant reset

in the pecking order for a kid like me.

I can't wait to wear my jersey to school

with the team this Friday.

Ladies do love a man in a uniform.

I'm ready to knock some heads.

What? My dad says this is the one time

Jesus is okay with you
hurting your neighbor.

You know, I heard that we get
to miss classes for away games.

And they have to give us all
A's 'cause we're athletes.

Brad didn't realize that
doesn't happen until college.

He was missing an
algebra test right then.

I'm gonna try out for running back.

Are you sure, man?
You'll get tackled a lot.

If they can catch me!

I already got my touchdown dance ready.

Oh, this was a big step for me,

one I was excited to
take with my friends.

We were all so ready to be
a part of such a masculine

and testosterone-driven ritual. Yeah!

[SNIFFLES] I can't believe
Keisa broke up with me.

I don't even care
about football anymore.

Of course you do, man.
You're the star running back.

We can't win without you.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Exactly.

Football is stupid.

Whew! He still doesn't
know I cheated with Keisa.

Whoa. Broderick is broken.

Sucks for us.

Yeah. Without Broderick, we've
got no chance this season.

And girls don't date losers.

Why's everyone looking at me?

Maybe because I'm a two-timing cheater

whose middle name is cheat?

Because Broderick trusts you,

and you want to win
just as bad as we do,

so you've gotta fix this.

Of course I want us to win.
But it's just a breakup.

- He'll get over it.
- I don't know.

The same thing happened
to Samson in the Bible,

and he didn't get over it.

He just went blind and k*lled everybody.

[♪]

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Ohhh, through the highs and the lows ♪

♪ I'mma find my way home ♪

Whenever Dad couldn't connect with Kim,

he fell back into his comfort zone,

which was giving advice.

So... what's your approach
for this college-level class?

Uh, the same approach I always have...

show up, know more than
the teacher, and get an A.

[CHUCKLES] That may have
worked in high school,

but this is college. You
have to be intentional.

You have to plan your work,

- then work your plan.
- Work your plan.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Remember, I need you to
meet me back at my office

after your class so I
can take you to school.

I know. But do me a favor...

Don't let anyone know I'm your daughter.

I don't want you to cramp my style.

Please. I can't have you cramp my style.

[♪]

Are you here for office
hours with Professor Williams?

Because there's someone
in there, and we're next.

Oh. No.

[SIGHING] He's actually my dad.

He's your dad?! You are so lucky.

- I am?
- Yes!

- He's my favorite professor.
- Mine, too.

He's my faculty advisor and
always gives such great advice.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

My dad? [LAUGHS] I'm sorry.

I just find that hard to believe.

Well, he's honestly the only
reason I'm still at this school.

When I started here,
I had all these excuses

and wasn't focused,
but he would always say,

"You gotta plan your
work and work your plan."

- What does that even mean?
- [DOOR OPENS]

[CHUCKLES] Oh, sorry, Kim,
I'm running behind.

As soon as I finish up,
we can go. Who's next?

- Me!
- Me!

Alright, alright.
Everybody be cool. Be cool.

[♪]

Finally, it was practice time,

where we would all get the
chance to prove our mettle.

[♪]

- [WHISTLE BLOWS, ALL CHEERING]
- We would just have to wait to prove it

after the first, second,
and third string did.

- [PLAYERS GRUNTING]
- [BOTH GRUNT, WHISTLE BLOWS]

Man, those guys are big.

Real talk... We were all stalling

because we were terrified
to get out there.

- [PLAYERS GRUNTING, SPECTATORS CHEERING]
- COACH WATKINS: Come on, Broderick!

- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- Come on!

You got holes in your hand like Jesus!

CORY: I thought you were
gonna talk to him, Dean.

He's getting worse every play.

Why am I praying and
fasting for Broderick

if you aren't gonna do your part, Dean?

You're fasting over football?

- MAN: Get it! Get it!
- Yeah. Been woozy all day.

- [PLAYERS CHATTING]
- PLAYER: Hut!

[PLAYERS SHOUTING "PASS"]

- [GRUNTS]
- [SPECTATORS GROAN]

Alright, guys, we've
gotta get on that field.

Come on! When it's our
turn, let's suck it up,

put our game faces on, and fix this.

How? We're terrible.

Exactly! So, compared to us,

Broderick can't help but look good.

If he looks good, he'll feel good.

If he feels good, he'll play good.

If he plays good, the team will win.

If the team will win, we all look cool.

- If we all look cool...
- Dean!

- ... then that means...
- We got it.

Okay.

[♪]

- [THUNDERING AND RAINING]
- PLAYER: Watch it, watch it!

PLAYER # : Watch the
ball, watch the ball!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

- [SPECTATORS CHEERING]
- QUARTERBACK: Ready! Set! Hut!

- [ALL GRUNTING]
- [ALL SHOUTING]

[♪]

Oh, sh**t! Oh, no!

- Okay, okay.
- DEAN: Norman, no!

- Remember the plan!
- [SHRIEKS]

- Stop! Stop!
- Norman!

- [SQUEALS]
- PLAYER: You're going the wrong way!

PLAYER # : What are you doing?!

- PLAYER # : Come back, man!
- [ALL SHOUTING]

- [WHISTLE BLOWS, SPECTATORS CHEER]
- Why would you do that?! We had a plan!

I was scared.

I guess I never feared
for my life before.

[SIGHS]

[♪]

COACH WATKINS: Broderick.

Where's your head at today, kid? Hmm?

Alright. Go hit the showers.

[♪]

I didn't know whether to be happy

Norman didn't get k*lled
or upset that my plan

to help the team had actually
made things much worse.

[BREATHING HEAVILY] Does anyone
have a Baby Ruth?

Oh, Lord, I'm not ready yet!
[SIGHS DRAMATICALLY]

I'm excited you're
playing football, Dean.

I loved going to all your
brother Bruce's games.

I didn't think I'd get to
experience that again because...

W... Well, you know.

Dean's half blind, bruises
easily, can't open a jar...

Wait, I got a list somewhere.

For your information [CHUCKLES]

I could've had my first tackle today,

but I decided to help the team out,

so I let him score a touchdown.

So, how was your first
day in a college class?

Fine. [SIGHS]

But you should ask Dad how his day was,

'cause it was way more
exciting than mine.

He's got a fan club.

[MOCKINGLY] "Ooh, Mr.
Williams is so smart!"

"Professor Williams is
my favorite teacher!"

I can't help it if some people
find my guidance valuable.

[NORMALLY] Well, maybe some
people would if they felt like

they were talked to
instead of talked at.

Alright, alright. Hush, you two.

I don't know what's worse...
my daughter teasing me

about other women or my wife not caring.

- [LAUGHS]
- [DOORBELL RINGS]

[♪]

- Donald.
- Hi, Professor Williams.

Lillian, this is Donald.

He's one of my best students.

- Hello.
- It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Williams.

So, what brings you by?

Oh, I'm here to pick up
Kim to go to a concert.

Uh, was that Donald?

I... I'm sorry, Professor Williams.

I assumed Kim told you both
that we were going out tonight.

No. She failed to
mention anything about it

during the whole car ride
home or during dinner.

Sorry, Dad. I must have
forgotten to plan my date

and date my plan! [LAUGHS]

Are you sure you're okay with this?

- Be home by : .
- It's : .

Then you better hurry up.

[♪]

I can't believe Donald
asked Kim on a date.

Would you rather she
still be dating Kwame X?

I'd rather she not date at all.

Well, that sounds
like an iron-clad plan.

[CHUCKLES] Just let
her live here with us

for the rest of her life.

I'm sure you'll get
used to all of her cats.

Girl cats or nasty-minded boy cats?

Look, Bill, she's gonna date someone.

And you said it yourself...
The boy is smart,

and, clearly, he's well-mannered.

Please. I did the same
thing to trick your parents.

And you know the stuff we used to do.

I know that you want what's
best for your daughter.

It seems like she
might finally be headed

in the right direction.

You do have a point.

Donald might be good for Kim.

And your blood pressure.

Hm, right. [CHUCKLES]

But, really, she stopped
listening to us a long time ago.

It'd be good to know she has
at least one positive influence.

I'll apologize to Kim for how
I reacted when she gets home.

I don't think I would take it that far.

You know your daughter.

If you give your approval to that boy,

we'll never see him again.

[♪]

- [FAUCET RUNNING]
- [FAUCET STOPS]

Hmm.

[♪]

[CAR DEPARTING]

[♪]

Hey. How was your date?

It was fun. We had a great time.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed
it, 'cause it's the last time

you're going out with that college boy.

What? You can't tell me what to do.

I'm your father. You
were born so I could

- tell you what to do.
- That doesn't make any sense.

I'm your father. I
don't have to make sense.

[CHUCKLING] Don't you walk out of here!

- [STAMMERS]
- [SUCKS TEETH]

[♪]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I found out Keisa was seeing
someone behind my back.

[SPUTTERS] What?

I... I heard that was a lie.

No, it was Norman, the same little punk

who made me look bad at
practice the other day.

Look at him.

In that moment, I knew I had

a very important choice to make.

Would I let my friend take
the fall for my mistake,

or do the right thing...

Tell the truth and
accept the consequences?

Of course it was Norman.
I can't believe that guy.

Ha! Suckers!

W... Well, now that we know,
how about we all just move on?

Maybe you can write an angry
letter and put it in the drawer.

No. I'm gonna k*ll him.

[♪]

Wow. As the destructive wake of my lie

slapped me in the face,

one thing was painfully clear...

I was really gonna miss Norman.

- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- Alright, break's over!

Everybody back on the field!

Coach, put me on defense.

[♪]

- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- Alright, guys, new play... cream Norman.

Turns out he's the guy who's
been messing with my girl,

so he needs to pay. Let
me get the first hit,

then you guys can pile
on and have at him.

Alright, "break legs" on !

TOGETHER: , , ...

It wasn't Norman, it was me.

[♪]

What? You and Keisa?

It started in the supply shed,

then at my house,

and then I lose track.

Hey, Coach! Put me back on offense.

[♪]

[PLAYERS CLAP, SHOUT]

[♪]

[PLAYERS SHOUTING]

Thanks for calling me back last night.

Of course. Who wouldn't
want to talk to you?

[CHUCKLES] I guess I
just always dated guys

who haven't made that a priority.

But I could get used to this.

You better.

- 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
- [WATCH BUZZES]

You gotta go to class, don't you?

Yeah. Not the best timing.

- So close to a smooth line.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

[♪]

[♪]

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Come in.

Donald. Good to see you.

Hi, Professor Williams.

I... I wanted to talk to
you about the other night.

I could tell you were surprised
when I showed up at your house.

Why would you think that?

Well, sir, you closed
the door in my face.

Oh, that's just a Black
father's reflex. [CHUCKLES]

Okay. Seeing you at my
door was a little shocking.

But I haven't been too thrilled
with the last few gentlemen

Kim's brought home, so...

I'm actually glad you're dating her.

Well, sir, we've only
been a couple of dates.

That's why I like you...
You're taking things slow.

Thinking long-term.

You know, I have to say,
I was a little worried

about Kim getting
involved with college boys,

- but you are the perfect boyfriend.
- [SIGHS]

You know what? I should get going.

See you at the house later this week.

You picking up Kim on Friday?

If you're free on the weekend,
we should go out to the lake.

You know how to gut a fish?

- Yeah, um...
- Alright, I'll test you.

- [LAUGHS]
- Word was spreading fast.

Not even five minutes later,

it seemed like everyone
knew about me and Keisa.

I knew I was gonna get pummeled.

But saving Norman was
the right thing to do,

and this was the
punishment I had to endure.

- Ready! Set! Hut!
- [ALL GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[♪]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

- Hit him!
- Go, go!

- [PLAYERS SHOUTING]
- Broderick was so disgusted,

he didn't even care enough to hurt me.

- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- And it felt terrible.

I learned in that moment
that emotional pain hurt

far worse than physical pain.

- KEISA: I'm gonna k*ll you!
- GIRL: Keisa!

Ooh! No. Both bad.

- What did you do, Dean?!
- I didn't mean to.

- I had to save Norman.
- Well, now everyone knows!

It's bad for me, too, Keisa.

The whole football team hates me.

Yeah? Well, it's gonna
be a lot worse for me.

It's always worse for girls.

- [SCOFFS]
- Ugh.

- [PLAYERS SHOUTING]
- Whoa!

["THE TRACKS OF MY TEARS"
BY SMOKEY ROBINSON PLAYING]

♪ You'll see my smile
looks out of place ♪

♪ If you look closer,
it's easy to trace ♪

BILL: What's going on?

Donald broke up with Kim.

She's very upset about it and
won't come out of her room.

What? How?

I just talked to Donald
and told him how happy

I was he was dating Kim.

- Hmm!
- What kind of "hmm" is that?

The kind that knows what happens

when you talk to Kim's boyfriends.

Maybe I came on a little strong.

Define "a little."

I invited him to come
fishing this weekend.

Good Lord.

My father didn't invite you
fishing until Bruce was born.

Let me talk to her.

I don't know. I don't think she's open

to receiving advice right now.

I got this, Lil.

♪ You'll see my smile ♪

Hey, Kim, it's Daddy.

Want to talk about what happened today?

- KIM: No! Go away!
- Hmm.

♪ The tracks of my tears ♪

I hate that "hmm."

[♪]

ADULT DEAN: It was game
day, the day I had been

looking forward to for a very long time,

when I would finally get
the attention I deserved.

- And I did... in a way.
- [STUDENTS WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Can I have some mashed potatoes, please?

We out of mashed potatoes.

She's mad 'cause she
was betting on the games.

GIRL: [OVER P. A.] It's game day today!

Let's show that Foxy
spirit and cheer our boys on

as they bring home the win!

Oh, you guys should sit
with the team. It's game day.

Thanks, Dean. Can't really
be seen with you right now.

But thank you for saving my life.

HAMPTON: Keisa tackled you pretty hard.

If you need some Epsom salt,
I have some in my locker.

What? I have bad feet.

Dean, you did the right thing, man.

And you got Broderick back on track

just in time for the first game.

[♪]

ADULT DEAN: Football didn't work
out for me the way I had hoped.

I quit the team and
managed to somehow become

even less popular.

[♪]

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Come in.

I've heard from my classmates

that you give really good advice.

Hi. I'm Kim Williams.

I'm a student here.

Nice to meet you, Kim.

Does your father let you go
out the house dressed like that?

I'm sorry about you and Donald.

I got excited and scared him away.

And it's too bad because
I really liked him.

I only pretended not
to because I thought

if you knew I approved of
him, you'd break things off.

Dad, I knew what you
were doing the whole time.

But you had nothing
to do with the breakup.

- I didn't?
- Despite your best efforts, no.

Turns out, Donald's
getting back together

with his ex-girlfriend.

I'm sorry, baby girl.

[VOICE BREAKING] I
don't understand, Daddy.

Why don't the good guys ever pick me?

This is usually the time
when my dad would let

Mama handle it or give
some of his "advice"

and say something lame like,

"Any boy who doesn't
want you is stupid."

But not this time.

[♪]

For the first time, my dad realized

that Kim didn't need answers,

she just needed her dad.

- Want me to give him an F?
- [LAUGHS]

[CRYING]

[♪]