02x10 - The Bear

[bunniefuu]

(utensils clanging)

Okay, let's hold on
three and four.

We are up on the grapes,
and...

let's pick up that first course
and push the focaccia, please.

Can also
pick up broth for two

and pick up fish for four?

Let's fire
that third course, please.

I wanna push cannoli,
and see hands.

Please and thank you.

Let's get walking focaccia.
Let's walk cannoli.

Let's walk T-bone.
, table .

Let's walk focaccia...

-MARCUS: Chef, I need
a count on cannoli.
-...again.

Please and thank you.

Bar seats one and two.

Can I get hands, please?

That is going to table .

We have another focaccia
for a three-top.

Bar seats three and four.

And grapes for four.

Bucatini for four
and cannoli for four.

It's going to table .

Twenty-one.

Okay. Also, can I fire

three T-bone
and two bucatini, please?

Guys, this is our
first turn, okay?

Got a full board tonight.
We're looking good.

We're gonna clear it, okay?

Everybody feeling good?

-ALL: Yes, Chef!
-Thank you.

-Okay.
-MARCUS: Yo, how many
cannolis all day, Chef?

Uh, I see a order
coming in for six.

And six and six.

Um... (clears throat)

Alright, guys, let's hustle.

Let's push all this food.

And can I get this
focaccia walking, please?

Table .
Thank you so much.

MARCUS:
Chef Syd, cannolis,
can I get an "all day"?

Okay. What's going on?

Do you see these
f*cking six-tops?

Richie’s just sitting them
immediately?

Yeah, I'll talk to 'em.
I'll hustle 'em.

(sighs)

Alright, guys, let's hustle.

Fire everything, okay?

-ALL: Yes, Chef!
-CHEF: Chef!

Hands, please.

No smudges. Thank you.

-Thank you. Thank you.
-SYDNEY: Okay,
got an order coming in.

Two bucatini, two T-bone...

(indistinct chatter)

What do you think?

PETE:
What do you mean,
what do I think?

I think it's the best.

-Yeah?
-Nat, yeah.

Think she'll like it?

I think she's gonna love it.

sh*t. The light
above Jimmy's too hot.

RICHIE: Jimmy.

How's everything, guys?

Everything is fantastic,
buddy.

-Really.
-And, hey, hey, hey.

You are looking sharp,
young man.

Well, thank you very much, Unc.

Donnie, thanks so much
for coming by.

-Nice to see you.
-Yeah, I'll see you soon.

How's the wine?

-It's-it's okay.
-RICHIE: It's okay?

I got better stuff at home.

That's a Coup Beaujolais.
Jagoff.

Yo. What'd I tell you?

I told you not to go back there.
I told you not to go back there.

What'd you do?
You went back there.

-The parm--
-RICHIE: Shh.

(whispers)
Don't f*ckin' do it again.

Claire bear.

How is everything, guys?

Cousin, this is pretty great.

Thanks. We're so glad
you guys are here.

I'm Richie, by the way.

KELLY:
Kelly. Nice to meet you.

RICHIE:
Yeah, right back at you.

KELLY:
We've heard so much about you.

RICHIE:
Oh, only good, I hope.

You know, Claire and I,
we, uh, we grew up together.

That is a fact.

He's, uh, Carmy's cousin.

RICHIE:
I am indeed his cousin. Yes.

You know,
he loves you very much.

Well you know what?
I love him very much, too

but please don't tell him.

-I promise.
-Okay.

Alright,
I'll be back soon, guys.

Gentlemen.

What do you think?

It's really something.

It's beautiful.
I am blown away.

I'm really glad
to hear you say that.
Thank you so much.

Your daughter...
is very important to us.

And very special to me, too.

RICHIE: Um, I just
wanna let you guys know

that drinks are on their way.

Uh, you're too kind,
but I'm-I'm really a soda guy.

-I don't drink.
-We are well aware, sir.

The Bear Pop service,
Mr. Adamu.

♪ ♪

I'm feeling a little bit,
uh, swamped here,

-do you wanna
switch with me?
-No. No, no, no, no.

-You're good.
-No?

-No, no, you're fine.
-Okay.

-Keep going, okay?
-Yeah.

Keep going. T?

-TINA: Yes, Chef.
-Hey, come here, please.

Um, I want you
to help Syd with tickets.

I'll have Josh
cover your station, okay?

-Jeffrey.
-Yeah?

I don't know where Josh went.

CARMY:
Wh-what does that even mean?

It means I don't know
where the f*ck he went.

Okay, you stay on your station.
I'll cover Josh's station.

-Uh, Marcus!
-Chef.

-Syd, tickets, please.
-Yes, Chef.

-Thank you, Chef.
-Uh, okay.

-When they come up--
-Sorry.

CARMY:
I need a cutting board.

When they come out, just, uh,

put them to
the corresponding place.

-So that's where...
That'll go there.
-Yes, Chef.

-Yeah.
-Hey, look,

um, you've been
weird with me all day

-and I just wanna say sor--
-I haven't been weird with you.

-Everything has been fine.
-Okay. Never mind.

-Yep.
-Forget it.

-Great. I will.
-MARCUS: Cool.

Yo. We're low on forks, Chef.

People are using 'em all, Chef.

sh*t. sh*t. sh*t.

Behind. Behind.

-SYDNEY: Okay, let's start
f*ring some caviar, please.
-SWEEPS: Behind. Behind.

(indistinct chatter)

PETE: Sweetie,
I want you to know that--

Wait. Give me the odds.

-The odds of what?
-Odds she shows.

-Dude.
-What, honey?

Nat, I was just gonna say
how, like, you know,

special and cool
and great this place is

and how I'm, like,
the most proud of you ever.

-And--
-Oh. That's everything.

I just don't want you to
get your expectations too high.

SUGAR: (sighs)
I'm not. Promise.

-Natalie.
-SUGAR: Peter.

Okay, / .

Seventy-five she shows?

PETE:
Seventy-five she doesn't.

-RICHIE (whispers): Sugar.
-Got it. (sighs)

Okay, I'll be right back.

This isn't about her,
I promise.

-Hey.
-Sorry.

-SUGAR: What's the vibe?
-We're diving.

-Yeah?
-The food's going too slow.

Oh. Which tables?

-All tables.
-All tables?

I gotta talk to Marcus.

Marcus, we're down
bread sets, alright?
We need 'em now.

They gotta
f*ckin' walk, like, right now.

Your dad's on .

-He's good.
-Thank you.

RICHIE: Yes, Chef.

-Uh, Carm.
-CARMY: Yeah.

Remember, you promised me
we wouldn't run out of forks?

-CARMY: Yeah.
-Guess what the f*ck
just happened?

We ran out of forks.

Yeah, bear,
we ran out of f*cking forks.

I'm gonna buy you
a calculator.

-Gary?
-SWEEPS: Yes, Chef.

Go to the closest store,
buy every g*dd*mn fork
they got, Chef.

-Okay.
-MARCUS: Yo, Syd, I still
need the "all day" on bread.

-Cousin?
-Yo.

Uh, Claire's on .

-Okay.
-Go say hi.

-Yeah, eventually.
-Eventually?

Where the f*ck is Josh?

-Yo. Just go.
-CHEF: Anyone
have eyes on Josh?

Yo, I'll go
when I have a minute.

I'm in the f*ckin' sh*t,
leave me the f*ck alone.

-What? I'm saying--
-I'll get there
when I can get there.

-I'm saying... Just...
-What?

MARCUS:
Yo, Chef Sydney
I need an "all day."

Thank you, Chef.

Yes, Chef, I'm on breads.

-Can you get me hands?
-SYDNEY: Walking, uh...

Chef? Sydney! Wh...

Why are you ignoring me?
'Cause you're mad at me? What?

-SYDNEY: Whoa, whoa. Easy.
-Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

-Quiet, quiet, quiet. Marcus.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

CARMY: Go, please.

Moving bread up to third.

Cannoli will move to sixth.

Heard, Chef. Thank you.

Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.

-That was just...
-Just keep going.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Uh, let's start
moving this bread, please.

Focaccia.
Hands, hands, hands.

-Hands!
-RICHIE: Hands comin'.

Hey. Great.
Uh, that'll go to ,
and that'll go to .

-I got... I got . You .
-SYDNEY: Thank you.

(indistinct chatter)

I'm sorry. f*ck me.

I really appreciate you
being so patient with me.

I know I've been gone a lot.

Honey, this is easier.

What do you mean?

I mean, like, you're easier.

Easier how?

Because you love this,

and, like, you're not
as pissed all the time.

f*ck me again.

Okay, that's very sweet of you.

I have to go fix a toilet.

("Velouria" by Pixies playing)

♪ We will wade
in the shine of the ever ♪

♪ We will wade
in the tides of the summer ♪

♪ Every summer
Every summer ♪

I need hands
for PX table , please.

That's Claire.

f*ck, yeah, that's right.

Um...

-Alright, I got it.
-What?

Is now the best time
to do that?

Great. Cool.

Can I please get
four T-bones fired?

Tina, can you
get on that for me?

-TINA: Yes, Chef.
-Thank you very much.

Does anybody know
where Neil is?

FAK: I'm right here, Chef.

Hi. Can you, um,
check on my dad for me?

Yes, Chef.

Chef, you are needed
in the bathroom.

-FAK: Chef.
-Toilet is clogged.

-FAK: Yes, Chef. Yes, Chef.
-RICHIE: Handle it, Chef.

♪ I tried to kick the ball
but my tennie flew right off ♪

♪ I'm red as a beet ♪

-(screams) g*dd*mn!
-FAK: I'm sorry.

SUGAR: f*ckin' sh*t!

♪ I'm so embarrassed ♪

♪ Mom and dad say ♪

♪ Sleep a lot ♪

♪ Eat a lot ♪

♪ Brush 'em like crazy ♪

♪ Run a lot ♪

♪ Do a lot ♪

You look great. Enjoy.

♪ Sleep a lot ♪

♪ Eat a lot ♪

-Hey. Mom?
-(sighs) No mom.

Why are you f*ckin' wet?

Uh, because
the toilet exploded.

Oh, good.

Do you have any
extra clothes of any variety?

Uh, yes, chef shirts
in the locker room.

-Okay, thank you.
-Thank you.

NYC CHEF:
Why are you so slow?

Why are you so f*ckin' slow?

♪ ♪

CARMY: Behind.

Yeah, this is not right.

-The cook is wrong.
-TINA: Chef...

-Chef?
-Yeah.

But this sh*t is
gonna put us behind.

Okay, well,
you have to do it again.

What's gonna put us behind

-is if you keep arguing.
-No, no, no, no.

Carmy said--

I say send it back

and cook it again, please.

And thank you.

-TINA: Yes, Chef.
-Great.

Do I have time
to go outside and scream "f*ck"?

-ALL: No, Chef.
-Right. So then let's hustle.

-Please and thank you.
-CARMY: Syd.

Hey. Uh, what's up, Carmy?

What the f*ck are these?
How long have these been here?

-SYDNEY: Those are seven fishes.
-These are cold.

-These are cold.
These are f*ckin' dead.
-SYDNEY: No, no, no.

Are these for the guy...
is he the guy...

f*ckin'... What...
Window, the f*ckin' window...

Is it for the guy
by the f*cking window, Syd?

-Table . What?
-CARMY: What the f*ck?

-Please! Just refire.
-The f*ck? Fire.

-Just refire, please.
-SYDNEY: You were
out there talking to whoever.

-Syd! Syd! Refire the sets.
-SYDNEY: So I was trying to...

They've been sitting here
for f*cking ever. Refire.

Hey, whoa.
Watch... it... dude.

Way down. Way down.

You gotta take it way down.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that this got cold.

I-I... was doing a lot.

No excuse.

-Good?
-SYDNEY: Yeah. You good?

(whispers)
Go fire.

(mouths)
I'm sorry.

-CHEF: ...to the line, please.
-CHEF: Got it, Chef.

Okay, guys, I'm hopping
on seven fishes, okay?

Let us keep up the pace.
Please and thank you.

-We can't let this stuff
go dead, alright?
-(door closes)

-ALL: Yes, Chef.
-Great.

CARMY:
No, no, no, no, no!

f*ck!

-MARCUS: Oh, sh*t. Carm?
-Carm?

MARCUS: Oh, sh*t.

-CARMY: Yo.
-Yep, it's still broken.

Uh-huh, I see. Um... Okay.

Uh, Ca-Carm, are-are you okay?

MARCUS: Yo, Carm.
Can you hear me?

-Carm?
-Carm, can you hear me?

CARMY:
Yeah, yeah, can you hear me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I can hear you.

-Are you okay?
-CARMY: No!

-Marcus, get me
the f*ck out of here!
-Right. Okay.

Uh... Right.

TINA: Syd, these texts
are coming out, baby.

SYDNEY: Yeah, uh...

Hey, Chefs, it's getting'
a little loud in here.

Carmy's stuck in the,
in the walk-in.

-Carmy's stuck in the walk-in?
-Carmy's stuck in the walk-in.

♪ Fly like winging birds
fighting for the keys ♪

Alright.

So what are we gonna do?

-Chef, waiting for calls.
-Okay. Right.
Uh, Chefs, one second.

-Please, let's just
hold the work.
-ALL: Yes, Chef.

-Let's just hold the work, okay?
-ALL: Yes, Chef.

♪ ♪

(ticket machine whirring)

(clicking and dinging)

Uh...

(clicking rapidly)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Tina, can, can you
run expo for me?

TINA:
I got two stations, Chef.

SYDNEY:
Yeah, right. Uh...

CARMY:
What the f*ck is going on?

I can do it.

CARMY:
What's going on out there?

-Hmm?
-♪ This recent rash
of kidsmoke ♪

(timer dinging)

-Yeah.
-CARMY: What are
you guys doing?

Alright.

♪ It's good to be alone ♪

Okay. Yeah, alright, uh...

Yeah. Okay.

Chefs, listen up.
Let's look alive, yeah?

I'm gonna plug
everybody in, alright?

Let's hustle.

Let's listen
to the sound of my voice

and the sound of Richie's.

We're gonna do this, yeah?

-ALL: Yes, Chef.
-Great.

f*ck this. I got it.

Yeah, I think
I gotta turn this around.

I think you're right.
Yeah.

-SYDNEY: Good?
-RICHIE: Yeah. Great.

Hey... we have
five minutes to do this
or we’re f*cked.

-Alright.
-SYDNEY: Okay!

Five minutes.

(beeps)

I got you, Chef.

SYDNEY: Great.

T, I want you to help me
set plates, please.

-TINA: Yes, Chef.
-Thank you.

(tickets whirring)

Okay. Richie?

(beeping)

(tone flatlining)

Drive.

("Animal" by Pearl Jam playing)

Okay, guys, we're gonna
refire four focaccia.

Okay?
We're gonna walk that first.

ALL: Yes, Chef.

RICHIE: Hands,
we gotta pick up some fishes

Four by four,
pick up bucatini,

four by four by four.

Bring up the T-bone.
Two by two.

EBRA: On it.

(Richie giving orders)

(beeping)

One focaccia, please,
to table .

Alright, I need some
more hands here, guys.

What do we got,
we got a focaccia

that's to table ,
thank you very much, Chef.

And here we go,
walking bucatini to , please.

♪ I'd rather be ♪

♪ I'd rather be ♪

-Chef, we got open.
-(yells)

RICHIE: I got stabbed.

Not right now.

(indistinct yelling,
voices overlapping)

NYC CHEF:
m*therf*cker.

f*ck! f*ck!

Hey, uh, we're lagging
on these seven fishes.

Marcus, can you please
help Connor out?

-Yes, Chef.
-SYDNEY: Hands up.

T, you're good on T-bone?

-Yes, Chef.
-Daniela, how's pasta?

-DANIELA: Good, Chef.
-Thank you.

-Where's Carmy?
-Stuck in the walk-in.

The walk-in.

-CARMY: f*ck!
-Told him to call Tim.

Hey. Not now, please.

-Can you help me
wipe dishes?
-Yes, Chef.

-Thank you, Chef.
-SUGAR: Carm, you okay?

-CARMY: No!
-Marcus, don't forget
you got cannolis.

Four by two by two.

I'm on it, Chef.

-FAK: Where am I?
-RICHIE: You're out front.

Are you nuts?
It's scary out there.

No, no, no.
You're nice, so just be nice.

You know, pour water,
pour wine, read minds.

Just check in.

FAK:
I can't 'do this myself.

I can't do this but, you know,
new world order, pal.

I'm scared.

Neil?

Don't be scared.

Okay. Chef.

f*ck!

-(pounds on door)
-Jesus.

RICHIE: Okay, guys.
Five cannoli all day.

-ALL: Yes, Chef.
-RICHIE: Alright...

we got eight bucatini...

Oh, f*ck, I'm sorry,
nine bucatini all day.

-You got that?
ALL: Yes, Chef.

RICHIE:
Okay, hands please.

Table , go.
Table , go.

We're gonna walk table .

Thank you very much.

Uh, Sydney,
what's the circle mean?

-Uh, my dad.
-RICHIE: Okay.

Pick up lettuces
for six, please.

-Chef.
-RICHIE: Marcus, we're
gonna the mostarda.

Emmanuel doesn’t
do cherries, Chef.
Thank you.

MARCUS: Yes, Chef.

-Forks up, Chefs.
-RICHIE: Okay, guys.

Listen up, we got
menus down.

So we are full board, okay?

We need to f*ckin' drill, guys.

Who's ready
to f*ckin' party right now?

-ALL: Yes, Chef.
-RICHIE: Okay.

Listen up.
Listen to the numbers.

Don't call back.
Just f*ckin' go.

We're all gonna be
smoking cigarettes soon.

♪ I'd rather be ♪

CARMY: f*ck.

Alright, walking .

Walking .

Walking .
Come on, guys. Come on.

Uh, five donuts,
five by five by four.

Fire fishes,
four by four by four.

I'll be walking , caviar.

That's five by four by two.

(softly)
f*ck you. f*ck you.

RICHIE: Uh, fire T-bone.

Two by four by five.

-Got that, T?
-Got it working, Chef.

Yo, Syd,
we gotta hold the fish.

We got a shellfish, uh, allergy.
I don't know how
you guys sub that.

Yeah, uh, Connor, let's sub
amberjack, please.

-CONNOR: Heard, Chef.
-(Carmy pounding)

RICHIE: Fire seven,
just keep going, guys.

We are almost
out of the woods.

Let's keep f*ckin' going.

I love you f*cking guys.
Here we go!

(softly)
What the f*ck? What the f*ck?

What the f*ck.
What the f*ck?

You're terrible at this.
You're no good at it.

-Dumb f*ck?
-NYC CHEF:
Go faster, m*therf*cker.

Keep going faster.
Why are you so slow?

Why are you so f*cking slow?

Can you not handle this?
Is it too much for you?

You are not tough.
You are bullshit.

You are talentless.

You should be dead.

(quiet restaurant chatter)

(upbeat guitar music playing)

(sniffs)

-PETE: Fakerson.
-Yeah.

Dude, congrats, brother.

Oh, dude, thank you so much.

PETE: So good, man.

You're gonna be
such a good daddy.

-Aw, thanks.
-Yeah.

Okay.

♪ ♪

PETE: Deedee?

-Oh, sh*t. No, no.

Pete.

No, no, no.

I-I-I don't want you
to tell them I was out here.

No, no, no, it's totally okay.
We got a seat for you.

Oh, I-I know. I know. Yeah.

Uh... No. I just...
I was thinking...

Oh, my gosh,
it's so cold out here.

Just come on.
Nat is so pumped to see you.

It'll be so fun.
Carm is k*lling it.

I-I just, um...

I-I just don't...

I-I just...

You'd be so proud of them.

Oh. I-I am, Pete. I am.

I am. I just...

I-I just don't think
I can take it.

What? What can't you take?

(sighs)

I want you to go back in.

Just don't tell them you saw me
'cause this is embarrassing.

PETE: Deedee, what did...

What do you mean
you can't take it?

I love them so much.

I don't know how to show it.

I don't know
how to say I'm sorry.

So, please, just...

Please just go in
and just tell me it's okay.

Deedee, I don't...

I don't deserve
to see how good this is.

PETE: Uh... (sighs)

I want them
to have this good thing.

And I don't wanna hurt it.

No, you're not gonna hurt it.

I promise. I promise.

Plus, we gotta
get all the dinners in

before the baby, so...

Whose baby?

Um...

(Pete stammering)

Oh.

Oh, you and Natalie.

I thought she...

-That's wonderful.
-PETE: Oh.

That's wonderful, Pete.

Um...

Donna, uh...

I-I-I don't know what to do.

Could you ju...
Could you help me?

Could you just come in
and we'll...

Pete, you're very sweet.

You're sweet.

I'm gonna go.

And I promise you,
I will, I will...

I will call them.
I will come in.

I will... I will talk to them.

I will. I'm just...
I need you to say it's okay.

Donna, don't...

DONNA:
I need you to say it's okay.

Pete, please.

It's okay.

(sighs)
Thank you.

♪ ♪

RICHIE: Okay, walk .

Walk .

T, where's my T-bone for six?

-TINA: Walking, Chef.
-RICHIE: Beautiful.

-Yo, where's the new kid?
-Disappeared.

Yo, Marcus,
find that m*therf*cker.

-MARCUS: Yes, Chef.
-Okay. And...

f*ck you!

(beeping)

-Yeah!
-ALL: Yes!

CHEF: f*ck yeah!

-(all cheering)
-RICHIE: Yes!

(clapping)

Where is t

Dude? Dude...

What the f*ck are you doing?

-Dawg, is-is that meth?
-JOSH: Oh, God.

Barely. Dude, I'm so sorry.

-No.
-JOSH: No, no, no.
Just a little bit.

-No, that is wild.
-JOSH: It helps me work.

(Sugar sighs)

I'm so sorry.
Honey.

-(sighs)
-You don't have to apologize.

Hey. You okay?

PETE: Yeah. Yeah.

This is... so great.

It's awesome.
(chuckles, sniffles)

Yeah.

-No, no, no.
I think I gotta fire you.
-What?

What? For this?

-MARCUS: Yeah.
-Are you f*cking serious?

I mean, I-I-I think so.
Let me check.

-I'll be right there.
-JOSH: Yeah, check, check.

-Hey, hey.
-Stay right there.

You are being
so f*cking weird, man.

(softly)
f*ck. f*ck.

f*ck, f*ck.

f*cking f*ck.

The odds were right.

Yeah.

I mean, you...
you know, this isn't easy.

What isn't easy?

You know, it's a lot of people,

a lot of history.

It's just a lot.

Yeah.
Yeah, it's...

PETE:
I wouldn't hold it against her.

-No?
-Not this one.

-Chef.
-Yes.

-I know things have been
weird between us today.
-No.

I know... I'm just saying,
I think I've found something
that'll make it better.

Okay. What is that?

I found Josh
smoking cr*ck in the alley.

-I-- Okay. Uh...
-Yeah.

-That's wild.
-That's what I said.

-Right.
-He said it makes him
kick so much ass.

I mean,
that just can't be true.

I mean, we saw him
cutting those carrots earlier.

Huh.

SUGAR: Babe.

-Hey.
-(Pete sniffles)

No, no, no. What's wrong?

PETE: Nothing.

I just...

I love you so much.

Jeffrey, are you okay?

'Cause we're good.
We're doing really good.

T, I think I did this to myself.

Did what to yourself?

When did we
start ordering Heinz Mustard

instead of French's?

Uh, last week. What did
you do to yourself, honey?

I told him I have to fire him
but I need to check with you.

No, no. You can fire him.
You should fire him immediately.

Alright, cool.
I'm gonna fire him before
he comes back in here.

Okay. Thank you.

Josh is 'd,
by the way.

ALL: Yes, Chef.

(sniffles)

I love you too, buddy.

-(sniffles)
-It's okay. (chuckles)

I think I work here now.

(both chuckle)

-Well, you're good at it.
-SUGAR: f*ck it. Right?

Okay. Surprise on , please.

And what's that?
Mr. Kalinowski?

(inaudible)

Dessert, sir.

CICERO:
None for me, Gary.

Thank you very much.
Not tonight.

I've, uh... I'm good.

Mr. Jerimovich insisted.

-Oh, he did, did he?
-He did.

What, is he trying
to f*ckin' k*ll me?

SWEEPS:
Chocolate banana.

(taps table)

You, um...

You tell Mr. Jerimovich
thank you for me?

-SWEEPS: I will.
-Thank you.

SWEEPS: Enjoy.

(exhales)

Tina?

I'm, uh...

I'm stuck in
a g*dd*mn refrigerator

on the opening night
of my f*ckin' restaurant

because I didn't have reception
when Tony called.

And there's-there's shelves
on the wrong side

and there's art
that's f*cking sh*t,

and-and we're tearing tape
like assholes,

and I just, I...

I failed you guys.

-So how was it?
-Oh, my God.
It was incredible.

-FAK: So fire.
-So good.

-KELLY: Congrats.
-Thank you.

Is this a good time
to go back and see him?

No. Uh... probably not.

-Yeah, probably not.
-CLAIRE: Oh.

I failed you guys and, um...

It's not gonna happen again.

TINA: Carmen...

No, that is...
so silly, baby.

Is it just too hectic
right now?

-Yeah.
-Well, Jabba got his ass.

Yeah. He's in there solo.

BOTH: Han Solo.

-Yeah.
-TED: Done.

Tina? Tina, you still there?

TINA:
Always, Jeffrey. Always.

Who's Tony?

(ticket machine whirs, clicks)

CARMY: What?

(whirrs, clicks)

TINA:
You said Tony called you.

(ticket machine
whirring and clicking)

Yeah, Tony called.
Tony's the fridge guy.

What the f*ck
are you talking about?

He's... he's-he's-he's
getting frozen. He's locked.

-He can't--
-Little pimp is cooked, okay?

Little pimp is cooked.

TINA: Mm-mm.
Fridge guy's name is Terry.

(whirring and clicking
continues)

-(pounds on door)
-See, that-that's exactly

what I'm talking about.

Shut the f*ck up.

What's going on?

He's... He's in the...

He's in the walk-in, but
like the door handle came off.

(whirring and clicking)

CARMY:
Yo, maybe-maybe
I'm just not built for this.

(whirring and clicking
continues)

Right?

Maybe that's okay.

Maybe that just is.

He's stuck in the walk-in?

-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.

-TED: Yeah.
-FAK: Yeah.

Hey, could you, um, just
go and check the front
for me, please?

I'm just gonna get some air.

Yes, Chef. One sec.

(retches, gags)

What was your name again?

-Kelly.
-Theodore Fak.

I like that "barrette."
Seriously, it's nice.

-Thank you. It's from France.
-TED: Looks good.

Neil's brother.

Yeah. Proud of him tonight.
Seriously.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-KELLY: Congrats.

-Yeah!
-This food was so awesome.

I didn't cook it.

I wasn't here.

Right? What the f*ck
was I thinking?

Like I was gonna be
in a relationship?

I'm a f*ckin'...
I'm a f*ckin' psycho.

That's why. That's why
I'm good at what I do.

That's how I operate.

I am the best
because I didn't have

any of this
f*ckin' bullshit, right?

I could, I could focus
and I could concentrate

and I had a routine

and-and I had
f*ckin' cell reception and...

I don't need to provide
amusement or enjoyment.

I don't need to receive
any amusement or enjoyment.

I'm completely fine with that.

Because no amount of good is
worth how terrible this feels.

It's just a complete
waste of f*ckin' time.

CLAIRE: I'm really sorry
you feel that way, Carm.

Claire?

Claire?

Claire? Claire?

Claire!

Claire? Claire?

-Claire?
-(sniffles)

(softly):
What the f*ck?

Hey. Claire Bear.
Uh...

What's wrong?

(sniffles)
Um...

Thank you for everything,
cousin.

This was so beautiful.

(Carmy pounding on door)

Hey, what the f*ck
did you just do?

I-I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what she heard.

f*ckin' assh*le. What did you
just say to that f*ckin' girl?

Richie...

Richie what?
What the f*ck did you just
say to that girl, Carmen?

Would you shut the f*ck up

and get me
the f*ck outta here, please?

Oh, yeah, I'll get you
the f*ck out of there, Donna.

What the f*ck
did you just say?

I...

-What the f*ck did you just say?
-Nothing.

Richie, what the f*ck
did you say?

Yo!

Yo, cousin,
I don't understand
why you can't just let

something good happen
for once in your f*ckin' life?

Are you f*cking
kidding me right now?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

No, I'm not f*cking
kidding you right now.

Someone's gotta
tell you this sh*t.

f*ck you! f*ck you.

-Yeah, f*ck me.
Here we go. Okay.
-CARMY: Yeah. f*ck you.

-Yeah, yeah.
-You wouldn't have
sh*t without me.

-Yeah. Alright.
-So, yeah! f*ck you!

-Tough Carmen.
-CARMY: You wouldn't be
able to pay

-for your f*cking life...
-RICHIE: Yeah, yeah.

...or your f*cking kid.
You f*ckin' loser.

-You wanna talk to me
about my f*ckin' kid?
-You f*ckin' loser.

-Yeah, at least I got a kid.
-f*ck you!

You don't have sh*t.

You don't have f*ckin' sh*t.

Where were you when I f*ckin'

put your brother in the ground,

you selfish piece of sh*t?

You know what?
You're-you're obsessed
with my family.

That's what you are.
You f*ckin'...

I'm f*cking
obsessed with you.

-You're f*cking leech.
-I'm obsessed with you.

-You f*cking leech.
-RICHIE: Yeah.

-I should've cut you out!
-I f*ckin' love you!

I should've f*ckin'
cut you the f*ck out!

-I f*ckin' love you!
-You f*ckin' need me.

I f*ckin' love you!

-You f*ckin' need me.
-Yeah.

-You need me!
-f*ck you!

You f*ckin' need me,
you m*therf*cker!

-f*ck you!
-You don't have sh*t.

-f*ck you!
-Piece of f*ckin' sh*t.

f*ck you! (spits)

f*ck you.

Hope you
f*ckin' freeze to death.

(kicks door)

(inhales and exhales)

CLAIRE (over voice mail):
Hey, Carm. Um...

I know I'm gonna see you
in a little bit,

but, uh...

I'm at work and, um...

I don't know, I just,
I had this, like, um...

sudden urge to...

(Claire sighs)

...to tell you that I've, um...

I've always had this, like,
massive crush on you, um...

and I think you're, um...

so special and, um,
so wonderful.

And I, uh...

I'm just so excited for you

and so thrilled
for you and, um...

I know it can be hard to,
like, find a second

to feel good about
what you're doing

right in the middle of
when you're doing it, but, uh...

I just hope you know that I'm...

I'm so proud of you.

And Mikey would be
so proud of you, bear.

Um...

And I just, um...

I-I really love you.

(exhales)

(sighs deeply)

(exhales deeply)

(inhales, exhales)

("Half a World Away"
by R.E.M. playing)

♪ This could be
the saddest dusk ever seen ♪

♪ You turn to a miracle ♪

♪ High-alive ♪

♪ My mind is racing ♪

♪ As it always will ♪

♪ My hand's tired ♪

♪ My heart aches ♪

♪ I'm half
a world away, here ♪

♪ My head sworn to go ♪

First time?

Nope.

(whirring)

♪ Haul it along and hold it ♪

♪ Go it alone, hold it along ♪

(gagging)

-EMMANUEL: Baby, are you okay?
-SYDNEY: Oh, f*ck. Oh, God.

Hey. Oh. Sorry.
Uh, yeah, I'm good.

Sorry.
You're not supposed to...

I-I-I knew you were busy,

and I was trying
not to bother you.

No, come on.
No. Uh, it's fine.

How was the food?

Incredible.

Absolutely... incredible.

Baby?

It's the thing.

♪ That's all I needed ♪

♪ To go it alone
and hold it along ♪

♪ Haul it along and hold it ♪

♪ Blackbirds, backwards,
forwards and fall ♪

♪ And hold ♪

♪ Oh, the lonely deep
sit hollow ♪

♪ I'm half a world,
half the world away ♪

♪ My shoes are gone,
my life spent ♪

♪ I had too much to drink ♪

♪ I didn't think ♪

Sorry, sorry...

(Sydney retching)

-EMMANUEL: Are you okay?
-SYDNEY: Yeah.

Good.

♪ To go it alone
and hold it along ♪

-I'll see you at the... house.
-SYDNEY: Yeah.

♪ Haul it along and hold it ♪

♪ Blackbirds, backwards ♪

Okay.

I love you, Chef.

I love you.

♪ Oh, this lonely world ♪

♪ Is wasted ♪

♪ Pathetic eyes high-alive ♪

♪ Blind to the tide
that's turned the sea ♪

♪ The storm,
it came up strong ♪

♪ It shook the trees
and blew away our fear ♪

♪ I couldn't even hear ♪

♪ To go it alone
and hold it along ♪

♪ Haul it along
and hold it ♪

♪ Go it alone
and hold it along ♪

♪ And hold ♪

♪ Go it alone
and hold it along ♪

♪ Haul it along and hold it ♪

♪ Blackbirds, backwards,
forwards and fall ♪

♪ And hold ♪

♪ Oh, this could be
the saddest dusk ♪

♪ I've ever seen ♪

♪ I turn to a miracle ♪

♪ High-alive ♪

♪ My mind is racing ♪

♪ As it always will ♪

♪ My hands tired,
my heart aches ♪

♪ I'm half a world away ♪

♪ Go ♪