03x16 - Moving Out

[bunniefuu]

And I only want

a little off the top.

Why? Most of it's

on the bottom.

And don't cut

my ears off.

Would you just relax? This is

going to be a work of art.

Now sit still, okay.

Well, well.

What have we here?

Art.

Hmm. What do you say,

huh, Warren Beatty?

No, no. I was thinking more

Robert Redford, you know.

Robert Redford?

Sure.

Yeah. Well, look

at his profile.

See...it's,

it's Redford, alright.

Are you kidding?

'Nicholas does not

have a Redford head.'

'I mean, with, with his color,

we should have curls.'

You mean an Afro?

Sort of. Kinda like

a James Cann look, you know?

- Oh, sort of soft curls.

- 'Right.'

'No, no. James Cann

isn't Nicholas.'

Yeah, of course, he is. If I

could just remember the name..

Would you hold on a minute?

I'm the one giving

the hair-cut, remember?

'Oh, yeah. Well, I'm the one

who saw James Cann'

'in the movie version that I

can't remember the name of.'

Okay, let's ask

Nicholas what he wants.

Fine.

Eh, where'd he go?

Hey, Nicholas!

Nicholas, come back. I promise

I won't give you an Afro.

Nicholas!

Oh, come back.

[theme music]

♪ There's a magic in the early ♪

♪ Morning we've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles on ♪

♪ Everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ Oh eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days ♪

♪ Like bright

and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled ♪

♪ By the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

[instrumental music]

- Nancy!

- 'Yeah?'

Nancy, get your nude self into

this house immediately.

- 'Daddy.'

- Don't, but daddy me.

Just get in here right away.

All I took off is my top.

You call that nude?

I call it disgraceful.

Oh, you've got more blouses in

this house that anybody else.

Unless you're in a bubble bath

or the shower

I want you to wear one,

do you understand?

I was just getting

a tan for my job.

Oh, no. Now don't tell me that

the health food restaurant has

gone topless.

Of course not, daddy.

But my boss, Avocado Sunrise,

wants all the waitresses

to look as healthy as the food.

And he says, strap marks clash

with the sandwiches.

Just because you're employer has

overdosed on alfalfa sprouts

there's no reason to disgrace

the family with semi-nakedness.

I was in the privacy

of my own backyard.

Correction, the privacy

of my backyard

where my daughters stay dressed.

Daddy, you're a prude.

Better off prude,

than half nude.

[laughter]

Nicholas, you weren't hiding in

the backyard, were you?

Heck, no.

I was at the playground.

Oh. I'm sorry,

I didn't mean to bark at you.

Oh, it's alright.

Nancy, how short

do you have to be a shrimp?

Gee, I don't know the exact

figures. I guess pretty short.

'Why?'

Well, today, at the playground,

we were playing basketball, see

and while we were

choosing up teams

everyone got picked except me.

And they called me a shrimp.

Oh, they did, huh?

Well, you shouldn't listen to

cruel kids like that.

You know, you're better off that

they didn't pick you.

Oh yeah, that's easy

for you to say.

You're taller

than any of them.

[laughter]

Nicholas?

You're only inches

away from tallness.

[birds chirping]

[whistling]

[van approaches]

Hold!

What's this?

Restricted parking?

Oh, yes.

This driveway, which is now oil

free after hours of hard labor

is definitely off limits to you

and your travelling oil slick.

Oh no, dad.

I just fixed the leak.

Oh, you know, you must spend

more time

underneath that piece

than in it.

No. Don't, don't, don't.

She's very sensitive.

Hey, remember this?

Oh yes, that was my Christmas

present of '

reported missing,

spring of this year.

Right, now it's home,

safe and sound.

Oh, thank you.

Since when does construction

work require a tie and a jacket?

Oh, it does, when you're having

lunch with the president

of the biggest contracting

firm in town.

Well, now you're getting smart.

Well, didn't you always say,

that one of the first steps

to being a success was,

looking like one.

Ah, yes. I did say that.

I think it was either me or

Ben Franklin may have said it.

But both of us said that

impressing bosses

with what you wear, is not as

important as what you drive.

Ben Franklin said that?

Oh, yes.

Ben Franklin said that.

Ha!

- Who are you?

- Who am I?

I should be asking that

question. This is my house.

You must be Mr. Bradford.

I'm Danny Wise.

Boy, what a real honor.

I read your column every day.

Well, I hope you read the one

that I'm writing now.

It's about the plague get

nudity invading my house.

[laughter]

Oh, dad, you don't understand at

all. He's not a nude stranger.

His name is Danny, he happens

to be my tennis partner.

And he was hot an sweaty.

So am I,

under the collar.

Oh, good grief, dad.

He was just takin' a shower.

Susan, do I have to remind you

about the rules

of allowing men up on

the second floor in the vicinity

of bed rooms.

Dad, they don't even have those

rules in colleges anymore.

Right, that's their problem.

Dad, don't you think you're

overdoing this enforcer bit

a little?

I mean, he left five minutes ago

and there's nobody upstairs now.

That's not the point, the point

is, suppose Elizabeth

were to go upstairs

and see a strange man

walking around with a towel

wrapped around him.

Well, knowing Elizabeth, there

probably be nothing left

but the towel.

'Susan, I would appreciate a

little more discretion on your'

'part, when it comes

to allowing strange men'

sweaty or not,

to use the bathroom.

Our family bathroom,

to take a shower.

Okay, dad.

You know, our house

is not a locker room.

I get the message, alright?

Good.

Thought, you would.

Phew.

Think we'll ever get him

into the th century?

Hmm.. Not till we get him

out of the th.

(Janet)

'So I told him

it was no Portia complex.'

Women make

better lawyers because

they're more emotionally aware.

Speaking of emotions,

Nic, I've missed you.

Motion approved.

[sputtering]

What's wrong?

Wait a minute, let me guess

your plea this time.

Writ of negativus gasolinus.

No, no.

I got over half a t*nk.

Let me get out

and check the engine.

It'll take a sec.

Promise?

Promise.

Joannie, you've never looked

more beautiful.

Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot.

You have a big date, huh?

Oh, just a casual one.

Going to a party.

Anybody I know?

Just a friend

from the theatre.

Oh, an on stage friend,

or a back stage friend?

Oh, what is this?

The third degree?

Come on. You always used to tell

me all about your dates.

Well, I guess I'm just

in a hurry, dad, okay?

Why don't you

bring him in?

You always used to let me

meet your boyfriends.

Huh. Dad, he's years old.

I can't ask a year old man to

come in and meet my father.

Besides, I thought I was past

the parental approval phase.

Well, I was just trying

to be friendly.

Oh, uh, dad,

you want to be friendly

just let me go

with my friends, okay?

[instrumental music]

Hey.

It'll only be

a few more minutes.

Promise?

Promise.

Well, don't rush on my account.

I've already finished

O'Reilly vs. New Jersey.

Read three chapters on torts.

This's been one of our more

productive days.

Besides, the restaurant

closed a half hour ago.

Gotcha.

[instrumental music]

Oh, oh, it's you Abby, it's you.

Hmm, I rolled over for a hug

and I came up with nothin'

but moonlight.

I'm sorry.

I had a hard time falling

asleep, so I figured I'd come

down here and fix myself

some warm milk.

Oh.

Were you waiting

up for Joannie?

No.

Well, it is three O'clock

in the morning.

She is years old.

Does that give her

a right to stay out

at all hours in the morning?

Tom, I have a terrible

confession to make once.

When I was years old

I stayed out till :

in the morning.

Alright, go ahead

and fun of me.

Just trying to be

a good father.

Mm. Oh.

I love you for it.

That makes two of us.

And eight of them.

Mm.

[instrumental music]

Morning, family.

Okay, what's the problem?

Have you seen Joannie?

No, I just got up.

Why, where is she?

Dad, I'm sure she's okay.

Yeah, she's very

self reliant.

Yeah, she has a good sense

of direction.

[laughter]

Oh, the prodigal daughter

has returned.

- Hi, Joannie.

- Hi.

Dad, I'm really sorry. Really.

I hate to admit it, but the guy

I went to the party with

left with another girl and I

didn't have a ride, so..

...I stayed overnight at the

house, the girl gave the party.

Slept on the floor, obviously.

- Why didn't you call?

- I wanted to. Really, I did.

It's just that it was so late

and you know I didn't wanna wake

everyone in the house, and..

Well, I was just trying

to be considerate, dad.

A considerate person

would have realized

there's people at home

worrying about her.

Don't worry when I don't call.

Worry when I do call.

Dad, I think she's old enough

to take care of herself.

Yeah, you act like you don't

even trust your own daughters.

That's not the issue.

We have house rules here.

If you are going

to live in my house

then you will adhere

by my rules.

One of them is, that if you're

going to be out late, you call.

Especially when late

is the morning after.

Dad, don't you think it's time

you respected us as adults.

When you are considerate of the

people that you live with

then I will respect you

as an adult.

Okay, dad, okay.

'No, it's not okay.'

I don't consider this incident

to be another insignificant

transgression

that can easily be overlooked.

Dad, I said I'm sorry, and I

promise it won't happen again.

That's right,

it won't happen again.

Not in the near future anyway

because for the next

three weeks you're grounded.

Grounded?

Grounded.

'Can you believe it?'

A year old woman

grounded by her father.

Yeah, I can believe it.

He's been building up to

something like this for days.

I have half a mind just to pick

up and move out!

Yeah, well, that kind of move

will require half a mind.

Huh, really, Joannie, I mean the

only thing more ridiculous than

a year old woman being

grounded is a year old woman

running away from home.

I'd rather spend the rest of my

life on a park bench

than under the iron hand of

Generalissimo Bradford.

Hey, be realistic, now what kind

of a place

can you afford on $ a week.

The kinda place it would require

$ worth of insecticides.

[laughter]

Really, you guys face facts.

On our incomes we're just gonna

have to find a way to cope.

Or to co-op?

What're you talkin' about?

A co-operative.

I mean, yeah.. Listen, we all

wanna get out from under

the iron thumb, right, and none

of us can afford to

move out on our own.

But what if we pooled our

little incomes together.

Hold on, Joannie, I'm only

bringing home $ a week from

the day care center.

I know, but with my $ from the

theatre, and what Nancy makes--

Joannie, wait a minute.

I mean, you're forgetting the

first rule of renting.

I'm mean you got to make in a

week, which you pay per month.

May we'd never find a furnished

two bedroom apartment

we like for less than -.

Wait a minute, what about my

$ a week, with tips

your $ and your , that's

what, almost ?

Yeah, there you go.

That's close enough.

You guys, I mean, you really

think we can pull this off?

Well, I mean, we'll get along

with each other--

Hey, we've lived together

all our lives, right?

I say we give it a try.

I mean, what've got to lose?

- Chains.

- sl*very.

Tyranny..

Hey, that sounds pretty good.

You guys okay,

one more time for me.

(in unison)

Chains!

sl*very!

Tyranny!

Alright!

[instrumental music]

Hey, Nicholas,

come on, man, look alive.

You're supposed to be helping me

clean this place up.

I will.

Tommy, how can

I get taller?

You're asking me

how to get taller?

I'm not exactly what

you call tall, bud.

I know, but at least

you're average.

Oh, I'm only average when it

comes to things

that I can't control.

After that I'm way

above average.

Tommy, do you think I'm exactly

what you call short?

Well, for an adult, maybe, yes.

But for a nine year old kid,

you're hangin' right in there.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how come for everyone else

in this family

when they were my age,

they were a lot taller.

Oh, well number one, girls are

always taller at that age.

Number two, you shouldn't go

comparing yourself

to other people.

When people start

calling you shrimp

you start takin' a look

at yourself.

'Hey, I got called shrimp plenty

of times when I was your age.'

Until I was about..

Till about .

And then my hormones kicked in

and up I went,

the rest is history.

You mean I have to

wait till I'm ?

Well, it happens sooner

with some people

but it depends

on the hormones.

Hey, you guys busy?

Aw, dad put us

on garage detail.

But we could use

an escape clause.

Alright, well I thought you

might wanna come with me

to pick out a new set of wheels.

New wheels, David,

you're buying a new car?

- Alright, let's go.

- Come on.

Yeah, and on the way, can we

stop for some hermans?

Hormones?

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

'Well, congratulations, Dave.

You're gonna love that baby.'

We'll have yours

for you in six weeks.

Six weeks! Wait a minute.

I was hoping

I'd get it right away.

Yeah, well, we're

kinda havin' some

delivery problems

from Detroit.

Oh, well, I waited this long,

what's six more weeks.

That's wonderful, Dave, we'll

notify you

the moment it arrives, huh.

Oh, by the way, were you

planning on trading in your..

...present vehicle.

Yeah, how much can I get for it?

Let's check it out.

That's a '?

Well, I'd be takin' a loss, but

I can, I can let you have .

Three hundred dollars

for a classic!

Oh, I was counting

on more than that.

Tell you what, Dave, why don't

you just think about it.

I'll take care of your order

and, you can decide.

Okay.

Dave, you're, uh..

You're gonna love this

once in a life time

special offer.

I...will buy

your present vehicle.

Where are you gonna

get the $?

Never underestimate

my ability to score bread.

Now, wait a minute, I think you

ought to talk to dad, first.

'Well, dad says I can buy a car

anytime I can afford it.'

I'll draw up a contract

and everything.

Then I'll have

for you in full

on the day that

your wagon arrives.

Alright, alright.

It's a deal, Tom.

Oh, to make it um...honest,

Tommy.

You're cute.

- Okay, this is it.

- This is it.

Okay, quite street.

Two bedrooms.

Ah, well, what do you think?

Well, at least

it's a lot better

than the last places

we looked at, huh?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, no broken windows.

No great view of the garbage

dump like that one for .

Yeah, on the other hand it's,

doesn't have airline pilots

in a swimming pool like

the one for a month.

- Oh, shh.

- Well, let's find out, come on.

Okay.

And another thing, young ladies.

I don't stand for no parties.

You got it, no parties.

'That's a promise.'

Look at all this sunlight

you guys, my plants will

go crazy in here.

Plants are permitted.

Pets are nixed.

Did you guys see all

the covered space in there

it is so fantastic.

If you play your

music too loud

you'd be out before you can

change the record.

Hey, no music, no music.

Hey, you guys, I can walk to

work from here.

Oh yeah, me too, no problem.

I guess, I'm gonna

have to find a bus.

Oh, right around the corner,

young lady.

Take you any place

you wanna go.

Got an express to the

race track to boot.

Oh, super, you know, I've always

wanted to go to the race track.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Well guys?

I haven't seen anything half as

good for , what do you think?

- Should we take it?

- It's okay by me.

- What about you?

- Sounds good.

We like the apartment

very much, Mrs. Dreissan.

So, when do we sign?

As soon as you agree

to my rules.

- Rules?

- Oh yeah, rules, Mrs. Dreissan.

We know all about rules.

Yeah, nobody knows

more about rules than we do.

- Alright then, it's yours.

- Oh..

- Just as soon as I get my $.

- Your what?

- $?

- No, you said it was only $.

It is...but, before

I hand out the keys

I get my first

and last month's rent

and $ security deposit.

Oh, no..

[typewriter clacking]

Homework, on Saturday?

Just a second.

There. And no, it's a contract.

Oh, no. Don't tell me you're

starting another sales venture.

(Tommy)

'Oh, no. I'm not selling

this time, I'm buying.'

Buying what?

David bought

a new four wheel drive

and I'm buying his van.

- Buying the van?

- That's right.

Wait a minute. I think we should

talk about this first.

Well dad, I thought we had some

sort of unofficial agreement.

You know, I can buy

any car of my choice

as along as I can pay for it.

- Yes, but I..

- Dad, a deal is a deal.

Besides that, I'm already

bound in contract with David.

Uh, oh, okay, okay.

Oh, I just cleaned

the oil leaks off my driveway.

David, do you believe it?

That landlady wants first and

last month's rent in advance.

Not only that, she wants

a security deposit, too.

(Nancy)

'Yeah, isn't that ridiculous?'

No. No, no, I think it's lucky.

I had to leave all of that,

plus a $ key deposit.

Oh, then you understand

our financial situation?

Yeah. I'm afraid I do.

Based on the case of me

versus my big brother

I would say that,

your financial problem

is about to become David's.

(Mary)

'Oh, Janet.'

[chuckling]

Are, uh, we that obvious?

Uh, as David's almost attorney,

I have to warn you.

He just plugged down

his life savings on a new car.

- Yeah.

- 'A new car?'

Well, not just a new car,

a new image.

Oh, David. I don't know whether

to clap for you or cry for us.

Aw, hey, come on, you guys.

Let's be big about this.

Congratulations, David.

- Well, thanks.

- Yeah, congratulations.

Alright, well, seeing

that my spirits are high

'and my resistance

to beautiful women is low'

you may have what's left

in my battered bank account.

(Joanie)

'Uh, David, really?'

You mean, you're offering

us a loan for real?

- Yeah!

- Oh, David!

You life-saver, you.

David Bradford, you're the best

brother in Sacramento.

(David)

'No, just the softest touch.'

By the way, how's dad

taking all this?

Oh, at the moment,

really calmly.

Calmly?

Yeah...uh, we haven't

told him yet.

- You're what?

- Taking our own apartment.

That's absurd.

Well, you can't afford it.

We haven't discussed it.

This is not the kind of thing

that any mature person

would even consider.

Aw, come on, dad,

we have considered it.

Carefully. We think it's about

time we run our own lives.

What makes you think,

that you're even old enough

to-to take on

that kind of responsibility.

What makes you think

that I would even let you go?

Dad, it doesn't matter,

if you let us go or not.

What do you mean, young lady?

I'm your father.

And we are legal adults.

Oh, legal adults.

Don't make me laugh.

You can laugh or you can cry,

dad. But we're moving out.

And you can't stop us, dad.

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, look you guys.

You think this will

ever come back in style?

[indistinct chatter]

- Hi, may I come in?

- Sure, dad, come on in.

Hi. I-I'll just

be a minute, girls.

Listen, I've had time to cool

down and give some thought.

Your plan, you know?

And I think it's time

that we just sit down

and have a calm, rational,

open discussion.

Okay, dad. As long as you are

not trying to talk us out of it.

We're not gonna change

our minds, dad.

We're moving out, dad

and that's all there is to it.

This isn't exactly the open

discussion, I had in mind.

(Susan)

'Oh, we are sorry,

dad, but'

your open discussions always

run in the same pattern.

- You dictate, we obey.

- Alright, alright.

I overreacted and I'm sorry,

I realize that now.

'But I mean,

that-that doesn't give you'

'reason to just

desert the family.'

We-we've got a little problem

here, let's work it out.

'It's too late, dad.'

We've already signed, sealed

and committed.

Oh, just like that, on a whim,

on an impulse.

Oh, what do you want, dad,

An act of congress?

- Well..

- Yeah, dad.

Didn't you hear?

It is a fait accompli.

Okay, okay, but I hope

you three girls realize

that you're going

to disqualify yourself

from some certain family

privileges like, like cars.

Don't worry, dad.

We'll be living on the bus line.

Ow, well, money..

Yes, and money too.

I mean, independence

doesn't come cheap.

If you don't believe me,

ask David.

Well ,he knows how hard

it is to make a living.

He knows all about that.

Yeah, he knows.

That's why he's lending us

the money for the apartment.

He what?

(Tom)

'I cannot believe

that David would actually'

'bankroll their insurrection'.

'Doesn't he care

about his own sisters?'

David cares, he just recognizes

something you don't.

All three girls

are legal adults.

[sighing]

That says nothing

about maturity.

That means they can vote,

not make decisions.

Huh! Did you-did you hear

what you just said?

I mean, sometimes, you know

Tom, I cannot believe

your attitude.

For a journalist,

you are really out of touch.

Eh, I don't know.

What are you talking about?

(Abby)

'I'm talking about

young people.'

In case you haven't noticed

they are leaving home

a little younger these days.

Whose side you on, anyway?

Well. if I have to take sides,

I'm on your side.

But that's only because

I love you.

Yeah, well, you're not being

very supportive.

How old was David,

when he left home?

Oh, come on, David is different.

Yes? How's David different?

Well, I don't know,

he's more responsible.

Oh, I see. Well, the girls

are responsible.

Yeah, but David was always

taking good care of himself.

He always had

a good paying job.

- The girls have jobs.

- Well, he-he-he's a man.

A-ha, the real reason.

No, no, come on, we've been over

that a million times.

You know I'm not a sexist.

No, you just don't want your

little baby girls to leave home.

I don't wanna talk

about it anymore.

(Abby)

Do you know what I think?

I think you are

more concerned about

how this move will

affect your life than theirs.

I don't wanna talk about it

anymore. Goodnight.

Abby?

Hmm?

Even though you're wrong,

I love you.

(Tommy)

'Yes, Nicholas this old bike

sure means a lot to me.'

And as a matter of pride,

I'd kinda like to see it

stay in the family.

That's why I'm offering you

first cr*ck at a great deal.

And I think, uh, you've

finally reached the point

where you're ready to

step up to real man's bike.

- You really think so?

- Yup.

Ah. I sure do.

Now-now picture this.

You're coasting down that big

hill that you've just conquered.

And the wind

is whipping your hair

and the sun is just sinking

below the horizon.

Ain't that beautiful?

Hey, and it all can be yours

for an incredibly low cost

of $.

Twenty bucks? All I got is five.

And most of that's in pennies.

Well, I tell ya,

I never discriminate

when it comes to money.

That $ will make a nice little

down payment on this baby.

Down payment?

Yeah, and you just pay

the rest to me

in easy weekly installments.

Now you just turn

your allowance over to me

and this little gem will be all

paid for before you know it.

I don't know.

Nicholas, how can you afford

to pass up a deal like this?

I mean, not only are you

getting a great bike

but how many people,

now, how many people

get a chance to establish

credit at the age of nine?

cents a day times three of us

times seven days a week

equals, okay,

$ and cents a week.

Oh, look, don't forget to add in

the curtains that I saw.

- They were so cute.

- How much do they cost?

(Nancy)

'Uh, $...'

(Joanie)

'Nancy, don't you realize we're

gonna be a shoestring budget.'

'Yeah, you're gonna have to give

up some luxury items, princess.'

(Nancy)

'Yeah. like food.'

Well, I'll take home,

food from the restaurant.

Susan, wait till you taste

the Okra and bean curd salad.

Oh, it sounds great.

(Joannie)

Okay, what's next?

Aw, you three seem to be

having such a good time.

- Countdown to freedom.

- Yeah.

No more curfews, lots of parties

no one to tell you what to do.

- 'Yeah.'

- 'Oh, well..'

(Joannie)

'It's more than that, Abby,

I mean..'

This really a chance

for us to grow

and make some of our own

decisions, you know.

Become women.

Yeah, we knew dad

wouldn't understand, but

we kinda hoped you would.

I do. I told my parents

the same thing.

Oh, so you know

what we're going through.

Of course, I know

what you're going through.

It's just that, uh..

I'll miss you guys a lot.

Aw.

It's not like

we're moving to Mars.

We're only gonna be

ten minutes away.

I know.

That's right, Abby.

The apartment is only

four miles from here. Really.

'It's not like dad

thinks at all.'

- 'No.'

- 'Family's not splittin'.'

Not if it's just sort

of sub dividin'.

Yeah, you're not gonna

get rid of us that much.

We'll be around for dinner

plenty of times.

You'll probably see

more of us than you do now.

- Yeah.

- I figured that.

That is, if dad doesn't

ban us from the house.

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, this is David Bradford.

Mr. Foster, I wasn't expecting

to hear from you for six weeks.

Yeah, you're in luck, Dave.

The shipment came in early.

Now, all I need is the check

for the final balance

and you got your wagon.

Oh, how much do you need?

Uh...$.

Two hundred and seventy seven,

huh?

Well, uh, there might be

a problem.

When do you need it by?

Well, tomorrow,

Friday, the latest.

I got people

on a waiting list

and I got to move

those babies out.

Alright, well, I can try.

Well, if I were you,

I'd try real hard because

the next shipment may not be

for another six months.

Six months?

Alright, alright,

I'll let you know. Thank you.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Nicholas.

Just wait a minute.

Oh, hey-hey.

How'd you like your new bike?

It's bigger than I thought.

Oh, well, let me see

you ride it.

I ride it lousy,

I fall off great.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

I didn't wanna bother you.

Oh, it's no bother. That's what

fathers were created for.

And guess what, I think

I have the solution.

Here. I'm gonna make you

king of the road, yet.

I hope he knows what he's doing.

Here you are, Nicholas.

What do you think?

It's swell, dad. Thanks.

Oh, don't mention it.

What's a father for?

Okay, get up here. I want you

to give it a good try.

Alright? Go on.

Heya, champ.

How the new..

Yeah, training wheels.

Dad, huh?

David, I can't let anyone see me

with these things on my bike.

I know. Sometimes dads forget

what it's like growing up.

I'll tell you what, let me

take care of some business

and then I'll see

what I can do. Okay?

- Alright.

- Okay.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Twelve, hi, David.

Thirteen, what's going on?

Fourteen...fifteen.

I have some bad news for ya.

I can't sell you my van.

What? Why not?

Well, not right now, anyway.

I won't be able to get

my wagon for six months.

Oh, but I thought that uh..

What happened?

Well, the shipment came in early

and right now

I don't have the money

I need to get it.

Well, you had it yesterday.

Yeah, that was before

I loaned it

to the girls

for their apartment.

So, get it back.

No, they are counting

on that money.

But I was counting on the van.

Tommy, both you and I can wait.

The girls need that apartment.

Man, I knew it's too good

to be true.

Oh, hi, you guys.

Gee, I was wondering

if I should take all my shoes

or may be just a dozen pair?

You may not have to take

anything, Nance.

We've got a problem.

No. What happened?

Did dad call the police

or something?

It's not dad, it's David.

- David?

- Yup, David.

Hey, we're not supposed

to know this

but he's $ short

on his new car.

Why, what happened?

See, the shipment came in early

and the guy said that he..

Well, anyway the point is

that instead of asking us

for the money back,

David decided

to wait for the new shipment.

Oh, gosh.

That's one sweet brother.

Wouldn't have even known about

it if I didn't overhear

Tommy asking Nicholas

for his bike back.

Oh, gee, that's not

one sweet brother.

Well, uh..

Nan, Susan and I talked it

over and we thought..

Well, what do you think?

It seems like the only

right thing to do is

give David his money back,

whether he wants it or not.

You mean...no apartment?

Not at David's expense,

Nance, no.

Hey, that's alright,

we'll get another one.

'Oh, yeah?'

Where we gonna find another

furnished apartment

for $ a month, huh?

With the first

and last month's rent?

On a bus line,

with no key deposit.

Or I mean, you wanna remain

in Bradford prison?

We may have to.

[dramatic music]

[sighing]

[whistling]

Hi, Abby. Here, let me

help you with that.

Why do you sound chipper

this morning?

Well, it's a beautiful day,

the sun is shining

the birds are singing.

The girls don't have

an apartment.

The girls don't have

an apartment.

Yeah, that was a tough break.

(Abby)

'Tom, I'm think your euphoria

may be just a little'

bit premature because

they're out right now

this afternoon,

looking for a new place.

Yes, I know, but you and I both

know that they won't find one

because they don't have

enough money.

- Tom.

- Abby.

I have decided that, um..

...that there's going to be

some changes.

I recognize my excessiveness

and it's my responsibility

to mend the fences.

But just because you're ready

to make concessions

doesn't mean peace is at hand.

You'll see, this family

has a great way

of overcoming adversity.

We'll be a big

happy family again.

Just watch.

Surprise.

- Oh, thanks.

- You're welcome.

- Mary?

- Yeah, Nicholas.

Can I have a man to man

talk with you?

Uh...well, I'll try to hold up

my end of the bargain.

sh**t.

I need something

from the hospital.

The hospital?

Uh, maybe we better sit down

and talk this one over.

Here.

- Uh, what is that you need?

- Hormones.

Hormones? Nicholas, why in the

world would you need hormones?

Do you even know

what they are?

Well, not really.

I just know that

I don't have any.

Oh. You're sure

about that, huh?

Well, Tommy says

when he started kicking in

he got real big.

And I'm tired of

being called a shrimp.

Nicholas, you're not a shrimp.

And I promise you that your body

has just the right

amount of hormones.

- Oh, yeah?

- Hmm.

Then how come I'm too short

to play basket ball?

And I need training wheels

on my new bike.

Nicholas, you might

be short now, okay?

But in a couple of years,

this thing called

the pituitary gland, it's in

back of your head and--

- Patuarary?

- Pituitary.

- Pitu..

- Itary.

See, and uh,

it sends out hormones off

through your body, right,

and when that happens

well, then you start

to grow faster.

And along with that come

a few other changes.

Like what?

Well, if I tell you,

it'll spoil the surprise.

Are you sure, I won't be

a shrimp all rest of my life?

Oh, I'm positive on that.

Mary, when I start to get taller

can you explain the other things

that's gonna happen to me?

Um, I think we'll let

dad handle that. Okay?

If you say so.

I think so.

Oh, what a day.

If I hear first and last month's

rent one more time..

- How'd it go?

- Oh, don't ask.

You know, I don't know why they

all need security deposits.

'I mean, it's not like we're

gonna steal an apartment.'

No luck, huh?

- Nope.

- Nope.

You know, we can't

even get a closet

for what we can afford.

Listen, um, I know

I haven't been very supportive.

I think may be I was

a little bit jealous

that you were getting out

before me.

- Ah, it's okay, Mary.

- 'No, it's not.'

I know that if the situation

had been on the other foot

you guys would've helped me.

So, uh, if $ will help

'I'll sell back my books

from last year.'

Oh, thanks, Mary but no, thanks.

Oh, sure and I could

let you have about bucks.

I don't need Finch jeans

that bad.

(Susan)

'Aw, Elizabeth.'

Oh really, it's a small price

to pay for my own room.

And I can scrounge around

and come up with few bucks.

Nicholas could sell his worm

farm to Irving J. Moore.

You guys are really being sweet.

Yeah. We can't accept,

really, but..

'Thanks, anyway.'

(Nancy)

'Well, I don't know about

the rest of you guys but..'

...I've got

some unpacking to do.

- Yeah, me too.

- Yeah, me three.

Thanks.

[instrumental music]

Somehow, this isn't as much

fun in reverse.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

Who do I make this

check out to?

What-what'd you say?

Who do I make

this check out to?

Abby, you don't mean

that you're..

Giving you the money, yeah.

Abby, uh...

This is real generous

of you, but um..

Uh, don't you think you're gonna

be committing domestic su1c1de?

Oh, I doubt it.

Besides it's my money,

I want you to have it.

Abby, are you sure

you want to do this?

Positive.

Abby!

- Thank you.

- I don't believe it, thank you.

You're welcome.

But would you

do me a favor?

- 'Anything.'

- 'Really.'

Go talk to your dad and patch

things up before you go.

Do you think

that's possible, Abby?

Yeah.

I'm not sayin'

it's gonna be easy.

Look, the real problem

is that he's having trouble

letting you go

because he loves you so much.

Huh, I don't think he loves us

so much at the moment.

You'd be so surprised.

[typewriter keys clacking]

Take a deep breath.

Let's go.

Dad, could we talk

to you for a second?

Oh, yeah, sure.

I always have time

for my girls, right?

Oh, well..

Well, Dad, we just wanted

to say that we really--

No, no,

you don't have to.

I am to blame

as much as you are.

Uh, dad, we really

didn't mean for this

to turn out

to be such a mess.

'No, but if I hadn't

been so strict'

and overprotective, lot of this

wouldn't have even happened.

In fact, I'm writing

a whole new set of rules.

I think you'll find

them quite liberal.

'Take curfews,

I practically'

'eliminated them

for you older girls.'

Oh, well, dad, that's really

open minded of you, but..

'Well, I think I should be

a little more reasonable.'

After all you are not children

anymore, I can't make all your

decisions for you, right?

Then you understand

why we have to leave.

I understand.

Leave?

Yeah, dad, that's what we came

to talk to you about.

We wanted to tell you

the reasons

why we're movin' out.

What do you mean

moving out?

I thought..

Where did you

get the money?

It is my money, you know, I can

do what I want to with them.

No, no, not when it comes

to my children.

Oh, oh, when was I fired

as their step-mother?

You know, I don't

understand this.

First it was David,

now it's you.

I'm stabbed in the back more

times than Caesar.

What is going on?

You know how opposed

I was to their moving out.

I thought it was

the right thing to do.

Oh, you did, did you?

When you know how hard

I struggle to keep

this family together?

Well, you've done

just the opposite.

You call it stabbing

in the back.

Well, the truth is,

David lends them

the last dollar he has

so the girls can move out.

And then when he needs

the money for his car

they don't hesitate

to give it back.

And while you're waiting

for the whole thing to blow over

everyone in this family

is willing to sacrifice

what little they have

so that the girls can move.

What are you saying,

that I'm a monster

because I don't

want my family to dissolve?

No, I, I'm just trying

to remind you that

that helping and caring

for each other is what

this family is all about.

And in your efforts to keep

things together

'you seem to have

forgotten that.'

Look, Tom.

Everyone needs a little help

from, from crawling to walking.

'You know, you don't just

hop out of the crib.'

'You need somebody there to,

to prop you up'

'and to support you

so that you can learn to walk.'

'Straight and,

and tall.'

Look, until you accept

this move

and give your blessings,

this entire family will remain

divided, even if we all

do stay under one roof.

Could you hurry it up?

Hey, Susan,

give me a break.

You realize how much it

would cost you to have

professional movers haul

all this junk?

I'm sorry, it's just

I'm anxious to get outta here.

It's cold as an iceberg

in the house.

[instrumental music]

Come on, Joannie,

it's no use.

- I know, but..

- Come on.

[music continues]

Here, David.

[car engine revving]

(Joannie)

Well, I guess,

this is it.

(Susan)

Yep, end of an era.

I was wrong.

What do you say, guys?

Is it straight?

Yeah, it's straight.

Snap out of it, you guys.

Fine, look.

We are three independent women

with an apartment of our own.

Sure.

Yeah.

Okay, what's wrong

with you two?

[sighing]

Guilt. What else?

Did you see him just staring

out the study window?

I mean,

it was just so sad.

(Joannie)

'I know.'

It just made me

want to run in there and..

...throw my arms around him

and say, "I'm sorry, dad."

'"We're not leaving."'

Joannie, hey,

I feel about this, too.

But we can't spend the rest

of our lives at home

because dad wants us to.

[knock on the door]

Are you guys

expecting somebody?

- No, not me.

- Must be the landlady.

How can it be? We already paid

her first and last month rent.

- Dad!

- Oh, hi.

What with moving everything, I

thought maybe you forgot to eat.

Oh, daddy!

Look, this is difficult

for me, so, uh..

...try to bear with me. I..

I want to apologize.

Oh, daddy,

please don't say it.

We're just glad

you're here.

Then you understand why it was

so hard for me to let you go.

Oh, daddy..

It was hard

for us too, really.

It's...I mean, just because

we moved out it doesn't mean

that, that we don't

need you anymore.

I know.

Took me a while

to figure that out.

Well, you gonna show me around

this palace of yours?

- Oh, sure.

- Oh, sure.

I'll give you

the deluxe tour.

Hey, it may not look like

much now, daddy.

But once we do

with the old Bradford touch.

Oh, you mean,

make it nice and messy.

[chattering]

- Why start now?

- Oh, daddy!

[instrumental music]

David Bradford, welcome

to the established man.

Well, it was bound to happen

sooner or later.

Uh, Janet, how did you

get him to do it?

Oh, uh, I just told him

I wouldn't see him anymore

unless he got rid

of that turkey.

Turkey? That's my van

you're talkin' about.

My van, unless you

pay it off.

- You'd re-possessed the van?

- Yeah.

Oh, don't worry, Tommy,

I wouldn't let him.

Look, Nicholas,

what I got for you.

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

My bike!

- 'Yeah.'

- Hey, hey, hey.

That's my bike

until you pay it off.

Oh, come on,

give the kid a break.

I fixed the pedals

so you can reach 'em.

- Oh boy, no training wheels.

- 'Right.'

Thanks, David,

it's great.

Can I pay it off

on time?

Ask Tommy, I've got

a great credit line.

No, no, no charge this time,

it's on the house.

Why don't you hop on

and give it a try?

I bet you'll love it.

- You happy?

- Up.

- Alright.

- Good job.

(Tommy)

'Ride ho, Nicholas,

away.'

(David)

'Who is that

masked stranger?'

(Tommy)

'The lone hormone.'

[theme music]

[music continues]