I did it.
I really did it.
[gasps]
I can't believe it!
Hurry up.
I-I can't believe it.
- I did it. I finally did it.
- What?
Abby, Abby, listen,
you won't believe this.
I did it. I did it.
I finally did it.
Dad, we may believe it
if you tell us what it is
you finally did.
- I finally sold my short story.
- I can't believe it.
(Tom)
'Your sarcasm, Elizabeth,
will in no way'
dampen my total happiness.
Do you realize that
after all those mountains
of rejection slips
from all those publishing houses
'that don't really know talent
when they see it'
Tom Bradford has finally
entered the ranks
of Hemmingway,
Fitzgerald and Twain.
Who are all those guys? Is dad
changing jobs or something?
No, Nicholas,
they're very famous writers.
Yes, and they're best known
for their short stories
as I will be known
when the entire world reads
my short story in, in, in,
oh, uh, "Man's Man Monthly."
Oh. Uh, must be
a-a new publication.
Well, this calls
for a celebration.
I'm very happy.
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic
in the early morning we found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ Oh eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
(Nicholas)
'How can I toast
without champagne, dad?'
(Tom)
'Drink your ginger ale,
Nicholas.'
(Mary)
'Dad, they sent you
a check for $?'
(Tom)
'Yes. Well, all those years'
'as a w*r correspondent in Korea
have finally paid off.'
Hey, dad, wait,
what does this mean?
It says, "In the interest
of our editorial policy
"we've taken the liberty
of slightly modifying
"some of the passages of your
story, 'The Last Big Push.'"
Yes. Well, as long
as they don't alter
the main thrust of my story,
I couldn't care less.
It's only
semi-autobiographical anyway
so I mean,
writers are always rewritten
in the beginning, that is.
Oh, dad,
we're all so proud of you.
Yeah, dad, we all know
how long you've tried
to be taken seriously
as a writer.
Uh!
I didn't mean it quite that way.
- David's here.
- David's here.
- Hi!
- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hello.
- Hi, family.
Are we too late
to join the party?
It's just getting warmed up.
Yeah, if you two
can quit holding hands
long enough to grab yourself
a glass of bubbly.
Well, hey, uh, everybody's
got enough champagne.
I'd like to propose a toast.
Can you do it
while there's still bubbles?
Oh, yeah. Uh, I don't know
exactly how to say this
but, uh, it is proper to toast
the bride and groom, isn't it?
- 'Bride?'
- 'Groom?'
- Who's getting married?
- Oh, take a wild guess.
- Hurray!
- Oh, Janet!
- Congratulations!
- Wonderful!
Janet's getting married?
Who's she getting married to?
Donald Cline of all creeps.
I'd rather marry the Hulk.
Relax, Elizabeth. It's only
a make-believe marriage.
Well, yeah, make-believe or not,
it still means
I've got to spend time
within breathing range of him.
I mean, Nancy, Donald Cline has
got to be seen to be believed.
- He's a real queeb.
- Huh?
Pass the emery board, please.
- Here.
- Thanks.
What's a queeb?
Well, you know
what a nerd is, right?
- Yes.
- A queeb is worse.
This marriage thing
is never going to work.
- Why?
- Elizabeth, give it a chance.
Really, I mean,
David and Janet aren't even
exchanging vows
till the first of the month.
I'm not talking
about David and Janet.
I'm talking about me
and Donald Cline.
What's a Donald Cline?
It's her husband in contemporary
social problems class.
The teacher pairs up students
and they have to deal
with typical everyday problems
young married couples face.
Hmm, sounds like fun.
Not when you're stuck
with Donald Cline.
A real queeb, huh?
How did you know?
Oh, okay, okay. Alright,
alright, you guys, okay!
Enough of Elizabeth's
imaginary wedding
and on to David and Janet's.
Will it still be this nice
after we're married?
Well, if you can wait
about a month
you can answer
that one yourself.
- Now, move it. We're late.
- Late for what?
We're invited
to the gala opening
of O'Hara And Associates'
new law firm.
Oh, no, I thought
that was tomorrow night.
It's tonight.
- Do we have to go?
- Yes. You jump in the shower.
I've already laid out
your clothes.
I just spent all day
with an accountant
trying to figure out
how to bankroll the gala opening
of Bradford And Associates'
new construction firm
with lots of great ideas
and no money.
Oh, there's absolutely no way
I can miss tonight.
I mean, how could Ted O'Hara
and his loyal associates
even consider me
joining their firm
'if I don't even bother
making an appearance?'
It's very important.
Please.
[sighs]
Would you hate me
if you had to go alone?
Somehow the thought of being
surrounded by three-piece suits
eating canapes and discussing
the latest advances
in personal injury cases
makes me very anti-social.
Do you want me to go unescorted?
No, but I'll live with it.
Okay. There's leftovers
in the refrigerator.
King me.
[sighs]
I surrender, champ.
These days, I can't even
b*at you when I'm cheating.
Hi, guys.
Hey, um, we're taking a vote.
Do we all pitch in
and buy David and Janet
one large wedding gift
or little individual ones, huh?
Oh, that Donald Cline
is not only a giant creep
he's a chauvinist.
Would you believe he expects us
to live off
of his measly salary?
"No wife of mine is gonna work,"
he says
"Your place is in the home."
How romantic?
A newlywed squabble.
Sounds like you need
a marriage counselor.
You mean
you're getting married too?
What I need, Nancy,
is a divorce.
You mean
you already got married?
How come nobody told me?
Well, let's talk about it
during dinner.
Dad and Abby went out
with the McArthurs.
Oh, boy, this is the last time
I sit still
for an arranged marriage.
- When did she get married?
- Oh, uh, last week, I think.
Boy, things are really happening
fast around here.
I didn't even get invited
to the wedding.
[knock on door]
Forget your key?
You wouldn't give me a key,
remember?
Vicky.
Well, aren't you gonna
invite me in?
Uh, uh..
Mm-hmm.
Vicky, I wasn't
expecting you, uh..
I mean, what are you,
what are you doing here?
I'm visiting, silly.
I can, uh, see you're still
a lousy housekeeper.
Yeah, I guess some habits
never change.
Vicky, I mean, it's been a long
time since we've been together--
Oh, I know, David
and I have missed you too.
That's why I stopped by.
I thought we might catch up.
Sort of get reacquainted.
Oh, David,
I've missed your smile.
There's something
I should tell you.
Hi. I'm, uh..
...early.
Vicky, I'd like you
to meet Janet.
My fiancee, Janet.
Janet, say hi to Vicky.
She likes my smile.
(Janet)
'Well, are you just gonna
sit there like a lump?'
As I recall, you were too tired
to socialize this evening
yet you seemed to have had
enough energy left
to socialize with a strange girl
in our apartment.
Don't you have anything to say?
I'd like to make a motion
for mistrial
on grounds
of insufficient evidence.
'Insufficient evidence?'
David, I'm not
an insecure, neurotic
prone to petty female jealousies
and other flights of fancy.
I come home,
I catch you in your robe
standing this close
to a not-unattractive lady
and you say I have no evidence.
I was an eyewitness.
Okay, you saw what you saw,
but you didn't see everything.
You mean I mistook that part!
No, I..
Wait a second.
Why am I defending myself?
I didn't do anything wrong.
'And I don't like being
accused of anything either.'
I was trying to spend
a nice, quiet evening home..
...alone..
...working on our guest list
and an old girlfriend
dropped by.
What am I supposed to do,
slam the door in her face?
'Or should I put a sign outside
that says'
engaged to be married,
no trespassing?
I haven't seen Vicky
in over a year.
She doesn't even know
I'm off the open market.
David, I--
And even if she did know,
that doesn't mean
we can't talk
human being to human being.
You're right.
Really, Janet,
a person doesn't turn
into a social recluse
just because they get..
What did you say?
I said you're right.
I overreacted.
I should have asked first,
not accused.
Who's Uncle Bernie?
My mother's brother
in Patagonia.
You mean it? I'm right?
With all my heart.
I can't help it
if sometimes I'm insecure
neurotic and jealous.
You have no reason to be
any of those things.
We're in love, remember?
Vaguely.
Hmm, it's getting clearer.
So tell me some more about
your ex-girlfriend, Vicky?
You'd be better off knowing
more about my Uncle Bernie.
Probably.
But tell me about Vicky anyway.
Oh, uh, good afternoon.
Do you happen to have the latest
issue of "Man's Man Monthly?"
It just so happens that
I wrote one of their stories.
You might find it
quite entertaining.
It's called The Last Big Push.
Oh. Uh, how much do I owe you?
Hey, Harry,
how much for this rag?
Are you alright?
You've been hiding in here
ever since you got home.
Oh, no, Abby, I'm not hiding.
Not exactly.
What I'm doing
is I'm hiding something.
Abby, I-I want you to see this.
Tom, I know what the female
anatomy looks like.
Yes, I thought I did too, but..
Abby, that's
"Man's Man Monthly."
You're kidding.
You're not kidding.
Ooh.
- Hi, hon.
- Hello.
Wow, all those numbers.
Looks like you're trying
to balance the national debt.
[laughs]
Well, it's darn close.
I'm trying to figure out
how we can save enough money
so that we can buy a house
in the next months.
Honey.
I hate to blow holes
in your one year plan
but I have some shocking news.
Buying a house is not that easy
not at today's prices,
not with today's income
and not in the near future.
Oh, but of course, it is.
All you have to do is
have the right strategy.
After today's lesson
on crediting
the free enterprise system
armed robbery is about the only
strategy I can think of.
What happened at the bank?
I won't know until next week
but the loan officer gave me
a bad case of the guilts
for not owing money
all over town.
'See, I've always paid cash
for everything'
'because I hate the idea
of being in hock.'
But if you're not in hock,
you can't establish credit.
And without credit,
you can't get a loan
to get yourself deeper
into hock.
Well, if that's all
there is to it
then all we have to do
is buy a house
which will put us into a hock,
which will establish our credit
'which will get you your loans,
so you can start'
your own business.
Piece of cake.
You seem to have things
very organized.
Well, I always did enjoy
setting goals.
It sort of keeps things focused.
Let me see if I have this right.
You set a goal..
...you focus in..
David, we have to meet a friend
of mine for dinner tonight.
Please, one goal at a time.
Linda, I'm so sorry we're late.
- Oh.
- Hi.
We sort of lost track
of the time.
Oh, forget it.
I was late myself.
- Linda Ray Craft--
- Uh, I'm using my own name.
Okay, Linda Wellman, this is my
future husband, David Bradford.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
Obviously, the reason
you lost track of the time.
- Well, congratulations.
- Thanks.
So tell me all about New York.
Let's order first.
I'm starving.
Okay.
(Linda)
'So I can't promise
I'll be back in time'
for your wedding,
but I'll sure try.
I shouldn't be in Santa Fe
for more than a week.
After that, it might be nice
to see the rest
of the great American southwest.
You know, I've heard about
this fellow with wives.
Now he might be
an interesting subject.
- Sounds like fun.
- Fourteen wives?
No, hardly.
Uh, I mean the travel.
I think it sounds insane.
A girl driving alone
cross-country
who knows what could happen?
A lot if I'm lucky.
Not only is it irresponsible,
it's dangerous.
What do you think I should do?
Settle down and live off
my generous alimony
'until I find
some other jerk to marry?'
Linda, I'm sorry your marriage
didn't work out, but--
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm still
a little defensive.
Janet, for the first time
in my life
I'm not my parent's little girl
or a California co-ed
or somebody's wife.
I've a chance
to be my own person.
I just don't know
who that person is?
'And since writing
is the only thing I can do'
even half decently,
I intend to write my way
across the country
until I find out.
You know something, Linda?
Since we were kids, you always
could take a totally crazy idea
and make it sound
almost sensible.
[laughs]
You always went along
with them.
That's right, I did
and as I remember
your ideas always
got us into trouble.
Well, I'll just have
to take that chance.
Oh, but that's enough about me.
I wanna hear all about you guys.
Uh, David, one of the partners
from O'Hara's
'just walked in the bar.'
O'Hara is one of the best
law firms in town
and I'm this close
to working there.
I really should go say hello.
But our dinner's here.
David, you know how important
this is to me.
It won't take but a minute.
Go ahead, start without me.
So you were about to tell me
what you and Janet are up to.
We're buying a house.
Oh.
[Janet laughing]
Oh.
Would anyone care
for some dessert?
Most of us already had
our dessert.
(Janet)
'I said I was sorry.'
(David)
Oh, and that's supposed
to make everything okay, right?
Can we drop this, David?
Sure, I wouldn't wanna spoil
your appetite.
Alright, that does it.
Oh, listen, it's late.
I have to be leaving.
No, no. No, please don't go.
Well, I'm staying
with my parents
and dad likes me home
in a decent hour
so he can triple lock
the front door.
But we haven't had a chance
to talk yet.
That's not her fault.
I'll give you a call.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- You are so mean.
- Mean, what did I do?
You embarrassed me in front
of my friend, that's what?
You know, I don't like arguing
in front of other people.
But being rude in front of other
people is okay, is that it?
Getting up in the middle
of dinner and leaving me alone
with your friend
until it's time to pay
the check
is accepted social behavior.
- That was business.
- It could've waited.
And so could
your rotten behavior.
I didn't plan on running
into that guy tonight.
Right, you planned on us
having a nice, pleasant dinner
with your long-lost friend.
I don't believe you. Linda must
think we don't get along at all.
Well, excuse me for my total
lack of self-control.
The next time I'm upset, I'll
find a more appropriate time
to express my feelings.
You're impossible. I can't
even talk to you anymore.
Janet, open this door.
This isn't over yet.
'I'm not listening.'
Come on, hiding behind
a locked door
isn't gonna solve anything.
Where am I supposed to sleep?
Well, at least I'm not
going to bed angry.
I don't have the bed.
(Joannie)
'"The Last Big Push
by Tom Bradford.'
'"I awoke with a start,
it was silent.'
'"The icy winds slice through
my liver like a bayonet.'
- 'It was good."'
- Junk.
Dad's story is not junk.
I meant everything else.
Well, how would you know?
Did you flip through the rest--
- Hey, hey.
- No, no, I-I heard.
Well, I just can't figure out
where they hide
the socially redeeming values?
From the sound of it,
I don't think
they're trying to hide anything.
- Hey, can I see?
- No.
How come?
Did dad write something
I'm not suppose to read?
No, Nicolas, see,
it's not what he wrote
it's where he wrote it.
No, it's not where I wrote it
it's where they've printed it.
And where they printed it
none of you are allowed
to look at.
Dad, most of us happen
to be adults.
Well, then behave like an adult
and let me put out the trash.
Now you guys know
how it feels to be un-included.
Mr. Gillette, if you just
give me a chance to explain.
- Get me this boy's father.
- Yes, sir.
Dad, if you just give me
a chance to explain.
- Mr. Gillette is expecting me?
- Yes. Please, go right in.
[clears throat]
Mr. Gillette,
I'm Tom Bradford.
After all these years
and children, we meet at last.
- Take a seat.
- Thank you.
Uh..
What I don't understand
is why I'm sitting in here
and my son Tommy
is sitting out there?
Mr. Bradford, I can honestly say
that I am a very liberal man.
'I do not enforce
the dress code.'
I look the other way
on Senior Prank Day.
I even vote for Harold Stassen
whenever he runs for president.
'But there are limits even
to my liberal way of thinking.'
All things in moderation.
I subscribe
to the same philosophy.
But what is this, some kind
of a parent's poll or something?
Hardly.
As a liberal, I also support
the basic freedoms.
The freedom of speech,
in particular.
'However, I do not condone'
students bringing
certain samples'
'of that free speech
onto my campus.'
This magazine, to be precise.
Unfortunately, your son does not
subscribe to the same philosophy
of moderation that we do.
Ah-ha.
Have you ever looked
at that magazine?
No, of course not.
Well, uh, yes, I, uh
in the interest of, uh,
administrative discipline, yes.
Well, then you're probably
not aware of the fact
that various
highly acclaimed writers
have contributed articles
of great social prominence
and merit to that publication.
- You're putting me on.
- Look for yourself.
Oh, I hardly, uh, describe
great social merit
to the likes
of "Mademoiselle Suzie
"Midnight Harry
Tom Brad.."
What was that last name?
Oh, dear.
[knock on door]
It's open.
David?
Oh, hi. Is Janet home?
Any minute.
Would it bother you
if I turned on the on the light?
Whatever makes you happy.
You know what they say about
people who sit in the dark.
You probably don't care either.
Maybe I should leave
and come back some other time.
Well, it was nice
talking to you again.
- Oh.
- Oh, Linda.
I'm surprised you're here.
I got the job.
- Oh, way to go.
- Thanks.
Didn't you hear?
O'Hara hired me.
They hired me as a clerk
till my law results come in.
Congratulations.
Well, we'll have to put off
the honeymoon for a while
just till I get adjusted.
- David, what's wrong?
- It can wait.
I know you don't like discussing
things in front of other people.
(Janet)
I wanna hear it now.
- The bank turned down my loan.
- Oh, is that all?
For a second, I thought
it was something serious.
I put that on the same list with
the Titanic and Pearl Harbor.
Well, it is bad,
but it's far from tragic.
David, we don't need the bank.
With the money,
I'll be bringing in
I'll have enough to start
your business in no time.
Oh really? You'd give money
to a bum credit risk like me?
[chuckles]
Of course, I will.
Well, naturally I'll have
to draw up a contract
but I think
you'll like the terms.
And how do I sign in the dotted
line, Mr. Janet McArthur?
I'm sorry, Linda. You keep
seeing me at my worst.
David.
I waited up for you all night
and you didn't come home.
I was so worried.
Why didn't you call?
I couldn't.
I didn't know what to say.
Would you answer me
a question?
'Do you love me?'
I mean, do you really love me?
I think so.
That's not enough.
I know.
I don't think
we should get married.
I, uh, I made us a dinner.
It's very nice.
We shouldn't let it spoil.
I knew
things weren't right, but..
[sighs]
Well, you know how I am.
Totally goal-oriented.
Once I get something
in my hand, I..
...I have a hard time
letting it go.
I'm just too selfish, I guess.
Every time I tried
thinking about us
all I could come up with was me.
Oh, no, no please, no heroics.
I've seen the same thing in me.
It's like ever since
we decided to get married
we've both been on edge.
Like we were fighting each other
for our last breath of freedom.
Is marriage supposed
to be like that?
I don't think so.
I mean, for a while at least,
I'm not gonna find out about it.
I guess the honeymoon
was over before it started.
I propose a toast.
To us.
May we live apart
happily ever after.
Janet.
[sobs]
You know,
you know, it's really funny.
Deciding not
to get married has been
about the most mature thing
we've ever done as a couple.
I'm, I'm sorry.
Well, that should do it
for this load.
Linda, I want you to know
that I really appreciate
you're helping Janet out
like this.
Forget it.
That's what friends are for.
Yeah? Well, uh,
I better drop this stuff off.
Tell Janet I'll be back
in about an hour.
Right.
I knew you were moving
back home for a while.
- I didn't know David was too.
- He's not.
He's, uh, moving out,
hitting the road.
- You're putting me on.
- No.
In fact, I think you might
have given him the idea.
All your romantic talk
about traveling
and trying to find yourself.
[laughs]
Oh.
Think he can look after himself
any better than I can?
Probably not.
[laughs]
- Where's he planning to go?
- He doesn't know yet.
He said for the first time
in his life
he wanted to do something
totally spontaneous.
Janet, I've got a crazy idea.
Oh, your favorite kind.
Yeah, but this is really crazy.
And in order for it to work
you're gonna have
to go along with it.
David, isn't this
sort of sudden?
I hope so. I waited
until the last minute
so you couldn't
talk me out of it.
Sought of compounding
a totally haphazard idea
with a complete lack
of forethought, isn't it?
I prefer to think
of it as spontaneous.
Excuse me
while I spontaneously get lost.
Mary, uh, here's an extra key
to my apartment.
'Rent's paid
till the end of the month.'
Tommy, you're in charge of
disposing what I leave behind.
If anybody wants anything,
it's theirs.
Sell everything else and any
money, I'd like saved for me.
I guess that's it, except, uh..
...I'm really gonna
miss you guys.
[knock on door]
Yes.
You're running way, David,
It's plain and simple.
'You've made a commitment
and you changed your mind.'
'You made a mistake, that's
alright. We all make mistakes.'
But you're compounding
that mistake
by trying to run away
from the consequences.
Maybe, but I'm also running
towards something too.
Oh, come on,
you don't mean that.
Dad, if this were
instead of ,
I'd be here telling you
I was heading west
to start a new life.
Well, I'm already west.
So I'm telling you
that I'm heading north
and south and east
to find what I want.
How can you hold
that against me?
I don't hold it against you.
It's just that
it's-it's so abrupt.
It's so ill-planned. I--
You might think of it
as an adventure.
Dad, it's not like I'm never
going to see you again.
I'm just taking a little trip,
sort of an extended vacation.
Look, dad, I may not be acting
like your type of man.
Sensible and sane.
But let's face it.
You're stuck with me.
I'll always be your son.
You finally said something
that makes sense.
Don't get
into any trouble, David.
And when you do, call me first.
Thanks, dad.
[knock on door]
- Hi.
- Hi.
Janet forget something?
No.
Actually, this has nothing
to do with Janet.
Oh, wait, no,
that's not exactly true.
It was my idea
in the first place
and she agreed
that it had some merit.
So that's why I'm here.
I haven't the vaguest idea
what you're talking about.
Ah.
Well, hey, I see you're all
packed up and ready to go.
- Any specific destination?
- Not yet.
I'm just gonna take the freeway
of least resistance.
Well, in that case, how about
giving me a lift to Santa Fe?
- New Mexico?
- New Mexico.
You heard Janet.
She is convinced
that it's too dangerous
for me to travel alone.
'Well, I don't agree with her,
of course'
'but it did get me to thinking
and Janet agreed.'
I mean,
if by some strange coincidence
you and I should be traveling
in the same general direction
it would make
at least economic sense
to go in the same car, right?
- You wanna travel with me?
- Just to Santa Fe.
And then with the plane money
I can save
I can buy a slightly better car
and we can go
our own separate ways.
No, we hardly know each other.
Well, I didn't mean
to frighten you.
'I only suggested
that we travel together'
'not get married.'
Forget it. Forget it.
Forget it.
It was a crazy idea anyway.
It is spontaneous.
You pay your own way?
All expenses split -.
You travel light?
I know how to pack, thank you.
Oh, what the heck.
I'll pick you up at :.
Are you sure it's okay?
No. But so what?
[laughs]
I'll see you at :.
Ah! What's in this thing?
Shh. You'll wake up
the whole neighborhood.
My typewriter is in there.
- You said you travel light.
- I said I knew how to pack.
I'm a writer, remember?
Have a typewriter, will travel.
Come on,
I wanna put some distance
between me and Sacramento.
It's almost rush hour.
We still got to get gassed up.
Well, didn't you ever consider
gassing up last night
'so we wouldn't have
to hurry this morning?'
Briefly, but then
I remembered our agreement.
What? Oh, yes.
- All expenses -, right?
- Exactly.
Better give me a quart of oil.
Your best weight.
Hey, I think
we should take to Reno
cut across Nevada
and Utah to Grand Junction
then south through Colorado
straight into New Mexico.
Three days, easy driving.
Probably do it
in two and a half.
But I'd rather take South
through California.
It's more scenic.
We can head east further down.
But my way is shorter.
What is this? You have
an appointment or something?
I'm just trying to contribute
my half to this trip.
I appreciate that.
But could you limit
your contributions to expenses?
I'd like to see
one state at a time
starting with the one we're in.
Trust me,
you'll enjoy the long way.
Not unless you start
being a bit more pleasant.
'Are you always this grouchy
in the morning?'
I'm not grouchy.
You owe me . for gas
and cents for oil.
Trust me, I'll pay you
when I get change.
(Linda)
'You were right, This scenery
is worth a few extra miles.'
(David)
'Hmm.'
(Linda)
'Hey, if the weather holds'
'we might make a little
side trip through Yosemite'.
'Have you ever been
to Yosemite?'
- 'Mnh-mnh.'
- 'You have, have you?'
(Linda)
What's it like?
I've never been there.
Friends tell me
it's a really beautiful place.
Well, you probably
didn't mind it too much.
As long as
we're traveling together--
I don't believe it, he speaks.
...I think there are a few
things we should both clear up.
Okay.
What have you got in mind?
Number one.
[clears throat]
I have no intention
of getting myself trapped
in another relationship.
Things will be a lot
less complicated
if we just keep this thing
on a purely business-like level.
Well, never fear,
you're honor is safe with me.
This has nothing
to do with honor.
It was your idea
we travel together.
I just wanna make sure
that we both understand
what that does
and does not include.
Oh.
Well, I'm glad
you clarified things then
because I thought for sure
that your rotten disposition
'was merely your clumsy way
of playing hard-to-get.'
I don't play games like that.
You also don't know
how to take a joke.
(Linda)
'Want me to drive for a while?'
(David)
'Mnh-mnh. I'm the only one
who drives my car.'
(Linda)
'I'm more than capable
of handling this thing.'
'In fact, during
my ex-husband's car period'
'he even got me to take
a high-speed driving course.'
'Everything from skid pad
to crash techniques.'
(David)
'Well, since we're not doing
any high-speed driving
'and since I have no intention
of learning first-hand'
'your crash techniques
and since my car is all I own'
'I'm the one
who does all the driving.'
(Linda)
'I don't know, maybe
I'm paranoid or something.'
'But I've been around
the world two times'
first-class all the way.
It just seems like
the only things I've ever seen
are four-star restaurants
and fancy hotels.
Not particularly fulfilling.
Well, I happen to think
that this place here qualifies
as one of the best hotels
in the world.
For the first time today,
I have to agree with you.
But I don't recommend
the room service.
If you don't like it,
you don't have to eat it.
I didn't say I didn't like it.
But, uh,
I'll cook breakfast, okay?
Good, because I hate it.
[laughs]
You know, I knew there was
a laugh hidden in you somewhere.
Yeah, it's usually
a lot more obvious.
[coughs]
Uh, Linda, I'm sorry
about the long face today.
I don't know,
leaving Janet, my home..
Well, I guess I need a little
more time to figure out
whether I'm supposed
to be happy or depressed.
Well, time is one thing
you've got plenty of.
That's what
your trip is for, remember?
You know, I never did ask you
why you're going to Santa Fe.
Oh. Well,
there's this guy there.
- Figures.
- No, no. Not that kind of guy.
This guy is the father
of a sorority sister.
He's a real heavyweight
in publishing.
And I brought some samples
of my writing with me.
I'm hoping he can turn what's
been a hobby into a career.
That's really important
to you, isn't it?
Well, let's just say
I wouldn't mind
doing something
right for a change.
Haven't been
too successful lately.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Well, I think
I'll wash up, turn in.
All this fresh air
is making me sleepy.
Wanna flip to see
who gets to sleep in the car?
Oh, no, don't bother.
You can have it.
I like to sleep outside.
- David?
- Yeah.
I'm glad you took the long way.
It really is beautiful.
(David)
'Well, you had your sh*t
at cooking breakfast.'
- 'Not bad, huh?'
- 'Not bad. Not good.'
(Linda)
'Can't you ever say
anything nice?'
It was hot.
[chuckles]
You're welcome.
Hey, look at that.
'I wonder what it's like
to fly one of those things.'
(Linda)
'Scary. I did it once.
I'll never do it again.'
That was during
my ex-husband's flying period.
Your ex-husband went through
a lot of periods, didn't he?
(Linda)
'Oh, yeah. He covered
just about everything'
'except, uh,
good husband period.'
- 'Sorry, I asked.'
- 'Don't be.'
Incredible.
That must be a foot drop.
Nope. In fact, it's on
the short side, feet.
Yeah? Wow.
Looks a lot higher.
I'm going in for a closer look.
(Linda)
Okay.
Say, listen here,
if your husband wants--
- Oh, I'm not married.
- Okay.
- If your boyfriend--
- Guess again.
If the guy
that you're traveling with?
If he wants some choice
pictures, he ought to save
his film and wait
till I get in the air.
My name is Marty Garfield.
Could you hold this
for a minute please?
Oh, sure.
Oh, hi, Marty, I'm Linda.
You've been doing this
a long time?
- Long enough to be number one.
- Oh, is that so?
I'm afraid
I'm not up enough on the sport
'to know all the players.'
You ought to take in
a contest sometime.
We got a good one comin' up
in a couple of weeks
which, by the way,
I plan on acing.
Ought to get your current
in a hurry.
Well, I'd say you could probably
win on confidence alone.
I believe in winning.
I don't believe
in false modesty.
Hey, need a hand?
If you're offering,
I'm accepting.
Oh, I thank you
for the help too, son.
This thing was never
designed for walkin' under.
That's for one sure thing.
- Let's put it down.
- Okay.
Say, if you're still
in a helpin' mood
I'd like you
to try something for me.
Sure.
Are you expecting
a lot of flyers here
for the competition?
Enough to keep
things interesting.
- All the magazines too.
- Magazines?
Oh, yeah. Hang gliding's
becoming a big money sport.
The Switchback Hill Open,
that's the one that's comin' up
is, uh, nothing to laugh at.
Is that why you do it?
For the money?
- I already got money.
- Then why?
[chuckles]
Well, why not?
[chuckles]
Hey, your friend over there
better watch himself.
'Hanging around
with old man Burwell'
'could give him a broken body.'
Oh, my God. David!
David!
- David!
- Hey, Linda, look, I'm flyin'.
[theme music]
03x26 - Marriage and Other Flights of Fancy
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.