[Music]
this is the wellsville municipal pool
it opens every year on the first day of
summer it closes just after labor day
and in between lies
[Music]
paradise
for those 12 weeks
every radio station plays your favorite
song
every can opener feels like it's in
slo-mo
and every trip to the deep end seems
more beautiful than the last
in this chlorinated wonderland one
person was in charge of preserving the
peace
that person was me
[Music]
most of my subjects obeyed me
some
would come to adore me
but in the end
one would try to destroy me
[Music]
have you picked me
[Music]
me
[Applause]
[Music]
with most summer jobs
you whack some weeds inhale some paint
fumes maybe
scrape it some grilled gunk with a
spatula
and then you look up
the summer's gone
there's one job however where you don't
miss the summer you rule the summer
and this is your throne the krebstar
2000 hydro thruster fully loaded with
hydraulic lift controls and butt
friendly no stick cushions
gp i don't know do you think you can
handle it
i think the question is can the hydro
thruster handle me handling this
soon you will know my power oh and what
power would that be rookie
you gotta learn to crawl before you can
fly
meet head lifeguard matt uplinger your
average ordinary power tripping
with a not so average need to be taken
seriously as a full-blown adult
thank you mr jabba for being
so good to me
nothing like a cup of fresh brew to get
you going
right mr w
makes me want to go out there and
build a mighty dam
so uh
while you're out would it be okay if i
sat in the chair didn't i mention
something about
learning to crawl
by that applinger meant learning to suck
as in the big suck
a job that yielded
many treasures from the d
looking good rook
starting tomorrow there's something else
in that water i'm gonna need you to deal
with
no matt nothing i'm afraid so
there's a dark side to the paradise of
the pool
a yellow evil that lurks in the warm
spots created by a mysterious pea
t*rror1st known only as
yes
the urinator
why doesn't somebody do something
somebody is gonna do something
it's a
chemical agent that reacts with human
tinkle
and our twisted mastermind strikes oh
and he will
bright green slick is gonna
lead us right to him
so until then we just wait right
wrong
of all the fantasies i had ever had
about being a lifeguard none of them
involved searching for a madman with a
bladder problem but i had to find him if
i ever wanted to sit on the throne of
summer
what are you doing monica prowling
reporting for duty you want to nail this
punk put a crab scout on your pew patrol
fine just keep it down with that pee
patrol stuff okay oh i get it an
undercover job smart
i'm with you
condor
keep me covered
hey p
how's it going this is your second day
right yeah hey
it's the second day a lot of um a lot of
action just uh save the kid's life uh
right ellen
he's so brave
i'm a lifestyle guarding lives is what i
do with this pool it's pretty big
no hot spots in this quadrant condor
we're in a wee wee free zone
my perfect summer was melting like a
sludge sickle but then uplinger uttered
two words
two words that changed the tide of
history
you know what that music means
youngsters
it's time for
adult swim
[Applause]
once again won't you please welcome the
adults of wellsville municipal pool
weighing in at a sturdy 240 pounds he's
a driving range owner that likes to call
himself the king of the road say hi to
dawn
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
nothing makes a kid's blood boil more
than the dreaded adult swim
ever since 1954 when the supreme court
declared them constitutional kids have
been deprived of their inalienable right
to do underwater handstands whenever
they want to
maybe you can stop me butt linger
maybe you can stop away
i have the meshes chafing me
but there's one kid you can't stop hey
everybody
raise your hand if you like collect your
kills
pete sabotage had toast in adult swim
and according to uplinger
my sh*t at senior lifeguard would be
toast too
unless i somehow talked some sense into
my brother
wrigley on the warpath he's kicking butt
he's taking names he's kicking butt all
over again
man oh man did you show up linger who
rules the pool
a bling is a brain clock you got that
right kyle he actually thought he could
get me to pressure you
into laying off adult swim
so that's so they're crazy right where
did i go
i told him matt
being a senior lifeguard might be the
only thing i've ever wanted in my whole
life
but i'm not gonna put the squeezeroni on
my own bro just to get it
i mean if pete wants to be a nice guy
that's one thing but
look
adult swim is a disease
the pool is for everybody
why do they get to hogging
exactly right bro
that's what i told matt myself
i felt like a rat think but uplinger had
left me with no choice
to get the ultimate job i'd have to
protect adult swim with the ultimate
w*apon
of all the low things you've ever done
this is the lowest
thank you for sharing
this adult swim is brought to you by
crab full of nuts coffee the fresh roast
flavor adults prefer
three to one
now clear the pool
[Music]
forgive me pete
it was the unmistakable sound of mr
tasty's magical ice cream chimes
no kid could resist it
[Music]
hey
[Music]
oh
i'm impressed rookie
what do you say you and me we make a
deal
you keep your brother away from adult
swim for the rest of the week
and i'll crown you
senior
lifeguard
[Music]
finally
i'd be king
and along with my throne would come the
power
the glory
and the dog
vengeance will be mine
my brother and i had fought epic battles
before
but never had the stakes been so high
for both of us
pete's dream was to destroy adult swim
if i stopped him i'd get a sh*t at my
dream to rule the pool as a senior
lifeguard
if i didn't take him on i had a
disgusting feeling my summer was going
to be
a long one
monica
i'm in a warm spot
the urinators got me
don't move condor i'm gonna go down and
get some readings if it's fresh i might
have a sh*t at getting that quiz master
oh
hey pete
what's the matter you look kind of
worried
worried
yeah i am worried worried about the
safety of the people in this pool
yeah it's an important thing timmy
you won't believe it the warm spot
you're standing in is only three minutes
old
[Music]
enough was enough i knew what i had to
do
i'm your man man
let's get this over with
you make the call rook
now remember
you've got the power to dock
three docks and it's good night irene
your brother's banned from the pool for
the entire
summer
[Music]
attention attention
all you youngsters
it's time for
adult
swim
[Music]
he's out there on i can feel it
he's waiting to make his move
he's toying with me
[Applause]
[Music]
good afternoon ma'am great day for a
swim wouldn't you say
you got that right sonny
[Music]
infiltrating adult swim and then pulling
the plug in the pool was a brilliant
plan
but in the end
it was no match for the big suck
sorry pete you know the rules i'm gonna
have to dock you then we used to be
brothers don't make this any harder than
it has to be
i think this is hard now
you what
while i waited for pete's counter strike
i tried to warn adults that one docking
was nothing to a commando like my
brother
nobody seemed too worried though
[Applause]
gross
i think i'm gonna ralph
[Applause]
what are you
doing i'm sending a secret emergency
distress call to pete
what's up once i'm a flipper
wayne
you're such a
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you're doc mister that's two one more
and you can say sayonara
blow it out your ears
[Applause]
[Music]
don't you think this has gone far enough
he is your brother
or
he was
hey you're wrigley wrigley's work things
out
talk to him
this whole thing is your fault not mine
did you guys hear something
just the wind flapping
i think i heard a bee
this is so stupid you could be swimming
right now
just get it through your head
adults have rights too
not to kick us out anytime they want the
whole world is theirs
all we're asking for is one stinking
pool
we belong here and you know it
pete
things are
different now
i'm a lifeguard
no you're not
you're a traitor
to all kids
everywhere
was i a traitor
maybe
my brother pete waited the whole year
for summer if i docked him one last time
it would all be over in an eye blank
lindy
what are you doing here the pool's
closed i know
but i just love swimming at night oh me
too the water seems more slippery
and it's so quiet
you can hear your heartbeat
i know
[Music]
sweetheart
i thought you wanted to swim
oh we were just talking
oh i'm sorry pudding
until he proves himself tomorrow
all he's allowed to do is suck isn't
that right
see you tomorrow pete
yeah
see ya
the next day i knew what had to be done
brother or no brother there was no
turning back
the fate of the whole summer would come
down to one
last adult swim
give me the mic matt
now
take us home bro
kids
out
[Applause]
adults
in
i mean you miss
[Music]
it would all be over in 60 minutes
enough time for pete to att*ck from any
angle with any weapons
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
so
[Music]
you did it rock you made this pool safe
for adults everywhere
there's still a minute left
you broke them you showed them who rules
this pool
take the throne
mr
senior
lifeguard
the hydro thruster
help yourself to a
cup of hot brew
you b*rned it
ah
thank you mr java you're so very good to
me
[Music]
finally i was the king of summer
the master of the pool
and the master of my destiny
[Music]
there's still 30 seconds of adult swim
left
if you jump now i'll have to dock you
you'll be banished for the entire season
[Music]
just wait 10 more seconds
why blow your whole summer
because there are some things in life
worth dying for you used to know that
you used to care
so go ahead destroy me
my splash will live on
[Applause]
no
[Applause]
see your lifeguard begin docking
procedures now
did you see that splash whoa
you want to sit in that chair wrigley
you gotta pull the handle
do it
[Music]
flush that core dog right out of here
i hate to do this pete
but you leave me no choice
[Music]
[Applause]
total annihilation
[Music]
call that a splash let me show you the
way we used to do it back in the motor
city
[Music]
pete's atomic can opener had created a
nuclear chain reaction that nothing
could stop
and as adults remembered how to be kids
again
everyone forgot why they needed adult
swims
in the first place
[Music]
hey
hey
dad what's going on here would you like
to show some dignity
you
don't have anything to say before i
dethrone you
yeah as a matter of fact i do
urinator
what
what's this
it's you
that's what you think of this is a setup
yeah i'm one of you you want to hold
your own with the adults uplinger you
got to hold it in i don't know what
you're talking about
ask your bladder then it'll tell you too
much coffee you had to go bad real bad
bad enough to switch the chemicals so
they wouldn't get caught too bad i
caught on
urinating
and so
the evil urinator was destroyed
adult swim was officially dead and as
for pete's splash
it did live on
here at the wellsville municipal pool
known to some
as paradise
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
that's
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you know
is
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
03x04 - Splashdown!
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Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.
Centers around two brothers, both named Pete Wrigley, and their humorous and surreal adventures in suburbia among their equally eccentric friends, enemies, and neighbors.