03x10 - The Royal Tour / Gold Rush Paddington / Paddington Calls the sh*ts

[bunniefuu]

♪ Left Peru and
sailed to England alone ♪

♪ There he met the Browns
and they took him home. ♪

♪ Now a new life has begun

♪ He's Windsor
Gardens' favourite son ♪

♪ 'Cause he always does
his best to help everyone. ♪

♪ When a problem appears,
he never misses a b*at, ♪

♪ And always finds
a way to land on his feet. ♪

♪ He has his
very own unique point of view ♪

♪ Looks at everything
as if it's brand new ♪

♪ He is friendly and polite

♪ And he tries to do
things right ♪

♪ But he gets in
sticky messes just the same. ♪

♪ He's curious and
speaks his mind ♪

♪ But trouble's
never far behind ♪

♪ It's Paddington Bear,
he's one of a kind. ♪

I'm Paddington Bear!

Dear Aunt Lucy. We
had a wonderful time in

the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.

Mr. Gruber appointed me official
photographer for his book.

And even
had a few professional tips.

Do try to get the royal guardin the sh*t as well, Mr. Brown.

That's an excellent
idea, Mr. Gruber. Thank you.

How I dread
these boring affairs, dear.

Same old people.
Same old everything.

Yes dear... but it is our duty.

Duty duty...

Look who it is, Mr. Brown.
The Grand Duke and Duchess!

If youhurry you can get a photograph.

You can count on me, Mr. Gruber.

My hat.

I've neverseen so many royal diginitaries.

I can
hardly count... the Counts!

There's a Prince and
two Baronesses, three Barons,

one Mr. Brown
and a... MR. BROWN?!

Shall I hold this for you, sir,while you attend the banquet?

A banquet. What a good idea.

I am rather hungry. Thank you.

Mr. Brown! Mr. Brown!

I'm sorry sir. The public isnot allowed in for visits today.

This is a private banquet.

That was my friend! Mr. Brown!

Uh-huh. And I'm
Queen Isabella of Spain...

Now off you go! Go on! NOW!

Go on!
[door slams]

I must rescue Mr. Brownbefore he gets into any trouble.

His Royal Highness Prince
Wilhelm the XIV of Upper &
Lower Muldavia.

...or is it my first cousin
twice removed...

anyway she's just
acquired a new horse.

I believe you dined together
at last week's dinner party.

I donot dine with horses, baroness.

My cousin, your Grace.
You dined with my cousin!

Oh... yes...
Of course, how could I forget.

Thehorse would have been more fun.

Mister Paddington Brown.

...from Darkest Peru.

...of Darkest Peru!

Finally -
a new face. How delightful!

Psst. Mr. Brown. Come back.

Whoaa!

You again!!

Do join us, sir.

Thank you very much.

Darkest Peru,
eh? How interesting!

I had a polo pony from Peru
once. Do you play polo, Mr...?

- Brown.
No, I prefer tiddley-winks.

Brown? ...oh of course,
you must be related to the

Gustavo Browns, of Chuquibamba.

My maternaluncle was a dear friend of your

great-grandfather, I believe.

Tell me, Mr. Brown
- are dinner parties

boring in darkest Peru too?

Not at all. In the home for
Retired Bears they always play

games.
It helps the food go down.

Games? An excellent idea!

Why didn't
I ever think of it before.

I wish
my friend Mr. Gruber was here.

He knows all sorts of games.

Mr. Brown. Over here! Yoo hoo.

...do tell us Mr. Brown.

What's the
weather like in darkest Peru?

Oh it's very...
Hot... hot... hot!

Is that so?
How very interesting.

My third cousin
twice removed, or is my second

cousin thrice removed,
anyway, she told me that...

Quickly... to you from me.

Hot...

...no. Not hot. Cool and rainy.

Doesn't
sound very pleasant at all.

Not my cup of tea.
I'm reminded of the time

they playedcrocket at the summer estate...

Oh dear!

You again. Thought
you'd given me the slip...

Certainly not.
I'm merely... oh look.

Isn't that the
Queen of Ruritania over there?

Huh? Where?! Hey! Stop! STOP!

in Antarctica. But undaunted,
the player quickly rowed out.

That's when the barge passed
with all those goats on it.
[gasps]

I'm sure you've
heard this story before...

Hot potato. Why, I haven't
played that since I was a boy.

Now
it's my turn to choose a game.

Come along everybody.

Ohhow I love the musical thrones!

Oof!

Oh! Baroness, are you alright?

How kind.

I know this
looks suspicious. But I have

a perfectly
good explanation. You see...

I say! This
IS fun!! I want to play again.

You're right, Baroness.
Oranges ARE easier to balance

on your nose than bananas!

Look,
there's my friend Mr. Gruber!

And he's playing
Hide & Seek with the guard!

Everyone in Luxembourg
certainly likes to play games.

How about agame of hide and seek everyone.

Come out, come out.

Come out,
come out. ...wherever you are!

Got you!

Oh, I beg your pardon.
I was looking for an intruder.

And I think I've found
him. Now I've got you.

And this
time you're NOT getting away!!

Your Grace!! Oh, forgive me!

I had no idea it was you Sire!

What is the meaning of this?

I'm afraid
this is all my fault, sire.

This is my friend Mr. Gruber.

That's the intruder!!

Nonsense! Any friend of
Mr. Brown is a friend of ours.

May I present the Baroness.

Mr. Gruber is it?
Are you related to the

Fitzbueller-Grubers of
East Slovenia by any chance?

My Grandmama
was a Fitzbueller-Gruber.

Now that would make
us nd cousins thrice removed.

Now tell me, whathas happened to aunt Beatrice...

I know you'd
love Luxembourg, Aunt Lucy.

The people are so friendly!
I hope you like the photos.

The Grand Duke and Duchess did.

Trust
Paddington to come out on top.

When he's in charge, whoknows how things will "develop".

Come on Lucy.
The game is starting.

There's
nothing in the world likea breath of fresh mountain air.

EspeciallyYukon mountain air, Mr. Gruber.

I hope we find
lots of ideas for your book,

"The World and its Wonders"
up here in the far North.

[hawk calling]

I believe we will.
That's Dawson City down there.

It's alarge part of Canadian history.

It doesn't look very
large from here, Mr. Gruber.

What is it famous for?

I wonder if you can guess.

Dirty dishes?

No, Mr. Brown. Miners
used dishes like this to pan

for goldin the great Klondike Gold Rush.

Gold!? There's gold here?!

The saying at the time was...

YEHHHAAAWWW. There's
gold in these here hills.

You could hear thecries of those who struck lucky

many miles away.
[donkey brays]

Lookin' for gold, boys?

I've got my dish. All Ineed to know is where to start.

Be my guest, fellers,
at the ol' Nugget Bonanza.

'Free passes.' That's
very kind of you, Mister, uh-

- Cornelius Magee.
But you can call me Corny.

I'd be mighty proud if youboys strike it rich on my claim.

Thank
you very much Mr... Corncob.

Mrs. Bird often says
I'm worth my weight in gold.

There it is. Nugget Bonanza.

Mr.Gruber and I would like to take

advantageof your free offer, Mr. Corncob.

Yes. Perhaps you could showus a good place to pan for gold.

Pan for gold, ya say? Sorry
fellers, these here tickets

just get ya through
the gate. Pannin's extra.

Extra? I thought
you said it would be free!

Pannin'
rights. That's bucks apiece.

Then there's creek access--
That's another bucks each.

Creek access?

You betcha.Creeks don't come cheap ya know.

Oh, and park insurance at $.

but free for you fellers today.

What am Idoing wrong? I fill it with mud.

I add
river water. I rinse it out...

But I don't see any gold.

Gold is heavier than
dirt. If there were any here,

Mr. Brown, it would stick
to the bottom of our dishes.

Panning
is hard work, Mr. Gruber.
Would you like a toffee?

Ah...
Something for my sweet tooth.

Which seems tohave cracked. And fallen out...

I shall have to find a dentistto make me a temporary filling.

Wait here.
I'll be as quick as possible.

Don't worry. I'll pan for two.

Maybe
I can find enough gold to pay
for your trip to the dentist.

And how exactly didyou lose the tooth, Mr. Gruber?

Waahaahaha
oooh ay-yay-waahaha hoo!

I see... well, one should
be careful when eating toffee.

Now, tell mewhat brings you to Dawson City?

Waaahhhoooaaha...
ouchhll..oook...

I wish... I wish...
Be shiny in my dish...

YEEEEE-HAW! THERE'S
GOLD IN THESE HERE HILLS!

YA-HOOOOO!!!

What in tarnation!? Why,
it's that bear- feller's hat.

Come
on, Winnifred. Let's boogie.

Follow
that thar hat. Git! Or I'mgonna trade you for a dog sled.

Git!

Istruck gold, Mr. Corncob! Look!

I can't believe it.

Yer one lucky possum, Bear.

Youmust have horseshoes in yer hat.

No. Just a marmalade sandwich.

You and I know that itty bit ofgold thar was just a lucky find.

There's
no more gold. That's fer sure.

But there may be a wayto sell a few tickets in this...

Thing
is how to get the word out?

Ha! I got me a plan.

How big was the nugget?

Nugget?
It was more like a chunk.

Remember,
it's a secret, Li'l Missy.

How big?

A rock!
But remember, it's a secret.

Some dude found a boulder
of gold at the Nugget Bonanza.

Gold! Gold! They found gold!

They found gold!
The Nugget Bonanza!

That's what I call paydirt!

But this
is only a temporary until you
get home to your own dentist.

They're saying some
bear has struck the motherlode

A bear!?

That would be Mr. Brown!

I'm closing early today. I've
got me some gold to look for.

Wait for me...

[excited chatter]

Wait! You have to pay! Stop!

Hey come back here.

Whoa! I just planted that tree!

What is going on, Mr. Brown?

At first I thought I struck
it rich. But then the park got

busy and
I haven't found any more gold.

You did find gold.

My gold tooth!

Thank you, Mr. Brown. Now Ican have it put back. Splendid!

A gold tooth?

Did you say a gold tooth?I got me a park full of lunatics

diggin' up all creation
'cause you found a tooth?

It isn't
just any old tooth. It belongs
to my friend, Mr. Gruber.

Here fellers.
I'm refundin' what ya paid me.

Thank you Mr. Corncob.

Go on git...

Ya can stop diggin'
now! It was only a tooth!

Thar's no gold in them hills.

Cornelius wants all the goldfor himself. I say no way, man.

Not you too, Winnifred?

Mr. Coprnelius?

No!Ah! Get away! Just leave me be!

It's midnight and it's... sunny.

Radio:
This just in. A new Klondike Gold Rush is under wa.

Thousands are streaming to Dawson City in the

Yukon
in a bid for instant riches.

Another gold rush? I wonder
what started it, Mr. Gruber.

I have a theory, Mr. Brown,
but silence too, is golden.

I've never seen
anything like it, Henry.

It looks rather complicated.

Can we try it!

What is it?

It's the Prisma-Colour !

The latest piece of technology
for taking moving pictures.

Then I think it's broken,
Mr. Brown. No one's moving.

No, Paddington.
I mean it takes movies.
Like you see on television.

It takes
moving pictures, Mr. Gruber.

And Mr. Brown said if Ipromise not to get marmalade all

over the lens, he'll
let me have a proper go.

In that case, Mr. Brown.
I have the very thing for you.

How to Make YourOwn Movies by Heinz. B. Heinkel.

He was a very famous
old time Hollywood director.

He won many
awards for the films he made.

Maybe you
could end up like Mr. Heinkel
and have your name in lights.

[crowd cheering]
PADDINGTON.

PADDINGTON.
PADDINGTON.

PADDINGTON.

I'm going to make a film!

Bear. What are you up to?

Why areyou taking pictures of my house?

I'm making a film Mr. Curry.
I'm going to win an award.

An award.
Is there any prize money?

I think so.

Then you're in luck, bear.

I'm sure you know
the importance of finding the

rightperson to play the leading role.

Someone youcan share the prize money with.

Well, now that you mention it...

Someone with star quality.
Handsome. Charming. Athletic.

Where am Igoing to find anyone like that?

Hemight be right under your nose.

Really?

You, Mr. Curry?

That's
so kind of you to offer, bear.

I must tell Mrs. Bird.

She'll be surprised
you're all those things.

She's always saying you're...

I don't
think that's necessary bear.

Why don't we surprise
her after we've made the film.

You just leave everything to me.

I'm ready for you
to climb the fence, Mr. Curry.

I am
not simply climbing the fence.

I'm chasing the villainswho have kidnapped the heroine.

Thevillains are waiting Mr. Curry.

Can you movea little to your left Mr. Curry?

Now a whisker to you're
right. Back half a whisker.

Make up your mind, bear.

I'm having trouble
with your profile, Mr. Curry.

Which did you say was
your best side. They both look

as bad as each... I
mean, they both look the same.

Howdare you bear. I...Aaaaaaaa ...

Mr. Curry.
I seem to have lost you.

As I was saying, Mr. Curry.
It's about your profile...

I'm ready to throw
the bottle with the message in

it into the water Mr. Curry.

Ready bear.

Quiet please. Roll camera.

Let's go for a take. I'mbeginning to like movie making.

That's it. Good, good,now search to find the bottle...

I can't find it Bear!

It's just floated
into the middle Mr. Curry.

I'm still rolling! Youcan start acting now, Mr. Curry.

I am acting, bear...

Aaaaaaaaaaa.......

That's wonderful,
Mr. Curry. Wonderful...

You can stop acting
now, Mr. Curry... Mr. Curry?!

You'll be happy toknow I kept the camera rolling.

Are you sure about this bear?

All movies need a big break-in
and rescue scene, Mr. Curry.

Bearrrrrr....

Don't worry, Mr. Curry.
I'm not missing any of this.

Helppppp...

Oh, that
cry for help is a nice touch.

Mr. Brown was kind enough
to lend Mr. Curry an old suit.

Well, that's all there
is. The book you lent me had

a chapter on puttinga film together, but I hoped you

might help
before I try to win an award.

I think what
you have is perfectly suited

for a television
show I've seen, Mr. Brown.

Really?

Yes its called"Don't Call us, We'll Call you".

I'll get it.

I am here for my premier.

Quick, Mr. Curry.
The program's just beginning.

Ah...my public has arrived before me.

The star shouldhave the best seat in the house.

Welcome to"Don't Call us, We'll Call you."

The programwhere a star is born every week.

Well... at least they know
good acting when they see it.

I've heard about this program.

People from all over the
country send in their videos.

And they show the best ones.

Exactly. I hope you did agood job editing the tape bear.

And tonight our first entryis submitted by a Mr. Paddington

Brown and Mr. Reginald
Curry of Windsor Gardens.

Thank you, thank you.

This isa very important moment for me.

Acting has always been a stronginfluence in the Curry family.

The dignity of thethespian is sometimes forgotten.

But, it is nice to
be recognized for true talent.

[laughter]

Bearrrrr... I've been made afool of on national television!

I thought you'd be happy.The producer said we had a good

chance of winning the grand
prize for funniest home movie.

Grand prize
you say... And what's that?

The chance to make sequel?!

Sequel? Sequel!
How do you think bear...