02x04 - The Date Night Job

[bunniefuu]

[STIRRING MUSIC]

The construction ditch in

front of the fire access door

was a nice touch.

I know some people who know some people.

You know I take date

night very seriously.

Present.

[OPENING THEME PLAYS]

Mmm.

It's going to be very

dangerous eating soup in space.

That had not occurred to me.

Mm. Yeah, it's gonna be

hot soup blobs flying around

the speed of light,

hitting you in the eye.

[CHUCKLES] You're

gonna need soup goggles.

[CHUCKLES] I'm going to have

Breanna make you soup soggles.

Hey, I'm only going to

space for two months.

- Of course. You're not going forever.

- No.

Definitely not gonna

accidentally open a window,

get flash frozen, and start

circling in the infinite darkness.

[LAUGHS]

We should not have watched

Buck Rogers. That's on me.

I mean, how far away is your satellite?

It's in the exosphere,

what, 400 miles away?

Pssh. Peanuts.

Babe, you want to talk about this

Speaking of peanuts,

what is in the soup?

It smells like peanuts. Like a sandwich.

Chicken.

Uh-huh. It's good.

[BEEPING FROM GAME]

Look, pal, I know you're not exactly

jazzed about going to this party.

But I think your grandma

would have wanted you to go.

And she always said that

you were the only one

that loved the art as much as she did.

- [BEEPING CONTINUES]

- I know.

[JUSTIN] And you might feel like

you just lost your only family.

I miss her, too.

And if you need family, I would like

to be considered for the position.

I just miss her so much.

[SNIFFLES]

I don't want to go to this party.

I want to talk to people I don't know.

[JUSTIN] I know, buddy. I miss her, too.

And I know that it's not fair

that you've inherited

all this responsibility.

And people are going to try to

get close to you because of that.

But I tell you what.

Tonight, you don't

have to talk to anyone.

You can even play your game.

Just put in some facetime

and then go do your thing.

Team up.

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

[DIALING CLICKS]

[LINE RINGS]

So what do we do for the

rest of our big date night?

Grab a drink?

We could go axe throwing.

No. They asked us not to come back.

- [BEEPING]

- [NAVIGATION VOICE] Reroute in progress.

Hmm.

It's a traffic jam.

We're being rerouted.

Take that left turn. That looks clear.

Is that ?

Safe Haven Freeport.

Although technically

within the US borders,

because of tax purposes,

it doesn't exist.

Hmm. Both here and not here

at the same time. Spooky.

You know, as an

international tax free zone,

it's a pretty great place to

store your very expensive art

if you're super rich and

you don't want to pay taxes.

Hm. Millions of dollars worth of art

just sitting there, ready to steal.

But the whole point of a freeport

is that it's got insane security.

- It's just a coincidence.

- Hm.

I heard that the codes on the

vault's magnetic locks are uncrackable

because they change every 12 hours

and you need a biometric

scan to get the new one.

"Just a coincidence," but I heard

that not only is the vault door's

mechanical lock un-pickable,

but the door's surrounded

by pressure sensors

so you can't even get

close enough to try.

- You know what I also heard?

- What you hear?

That millionaire Lillian

Baxter Cartland Jones

kept her collection in there.

That's a coincidence.

- She just passed. Moment of silence.

- Mm.

Mm. They're throwing a viewing

party tonight in honor of her

showing off a few of

her favorite pieces.

Well, hm. In that case,

nobody's going to be paying

attention to the vaults.

Yeah.

Did you know that she has

a T-Rex skull in there?

And the Countess Lucia Watch.

- Unpickable.

- Unbreakable.

So you want to break in?

Mm. Well, we are already

dressed for a party.

Let me get us on the guest list.

♪♪

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Well, you both look so beautiful.

Thank you very much for coming.

It means a lot to us.

[WOMAN] We just hope

little Mason's okay.

Thanks. Survival clauses

have my head spinning.

[CHUCKLES]

All right, this place must

be worth a few dozen mil.

- But no dinosaur.

- Mm. No watch either.

It must still be in Lillian's vault.

[GLASS CLINKING]

[JUSTIN] Thanks, everyone,

for coming tonight.

Lillian would have been so

happy to see you all here.

The only thing that she loved

more than her art was Mason here.

And what she loved almost as

much was sharing art with others.

[CROWD MURMURS]

[PARKER] And that's our cue.

[BEEPING]

Well, couldn't be a party

without a party foul, right?

[LAUGHTER]

Thanks, everybody.

Please enjoy the evening.

- [CHEERING]

- [BEEPING CONTINUES]

[PARKER] Said to wear layers.

Oh, look. Weird.

These are the suction cups people use

to move glass display cases.

Who would leave these here?

Huh. Oh, look at this!

An elevator access key.

[SCOFFS] People can be so careless.

But to make the elevator actually

run, we need a vault owner.

Because we need a biometric

scan to make it run.

But to get into the shaft

[EXHALES]

Elevator's in the basement. Convenient.

Looks like we'll have

to take the cable up.

Hey.

Fine.

[GRUNTS]

[PARKER GRUNTS] You have to let go.

[HARDISON] No, I'm not

[PARKER] I got you!

- [HARDISON] I got

- [PARKER GASPS]

[SCOFFS] Gonna go to space

but is afraid of heights. Pssh!

[SIGHS]

I'm proud of me.

That's all that matters.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

[BOTH VOCALIZE]

- I knew it.

- It's not unpickable at all.

Hardly, but time consuming.

The Glen reader plate is the problem.

Once you step on it,

you have ten seconds

to enter the keypad

code and combination.

So how does one get to the

door without touching the floor?

[EXHALES]

- Hmm.

- How's it going with that visual keypad?

Oh, I did write a new algorithm.

Ooh, that's exciting.

You know, most people think

that Ketones are all identical,

but a little wear and tear,

a few variations in circuitry,

you can actually tell the difference.

Unfortunately, after

I've sampled the keypad,

I'd need a recording of

somebody entering the code.

Check your voicemail.

[BEEPING]

[HARDISON] Was you?

[PARKER] Here come your tones.

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

I'm on my last tumble.

[BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

[GASPING]

Sue says hi.

[GASPS]

Bartolo spent 20 years

perfecting this watch for Lucia.

I'm still not sure that's sanitary.

This head is 150 million years old.

How many people can say they

tasted something that old?

Not many. Babe

- I'm so glad we did this.

- Me, too.

[CHUCKLES]

You weren't that subtle about it.

Neither were you, Miss "Oh, somehow

I got a recording of the keypad."

[CHUCKLES]

How long you been planning this?

Mm. About as long as you, I bet.

[HEAVY THUD]

- Was that you?

- No. Was that you?

No.

It's no big deal, though.

Just the magnetic locks,

not the mechanicals.

Let me just try the code again.

[BEEPING]

- Something's wrong.

- That's not good.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GASPS AND SCREAMS]

Hands up, everybody.

Stay calm. We have taken

control of the building.

This is a robbery.

If we can get the sound of the code,

Hardison can hack the keypad.

A code that's impossible to access?

In a building that's

impossible to get through?

It's the Countess Lucia watch.

It's a T-Rex skull.

Didn't Parker break into that

museum in Chicago last summer

and lick that T-Rex skull?

Yeah, that was Sue.

She's licked Sue twice.

I think this is the only T-Rex

skull that she hasn't licked.

It's on her list.

I can't believe you're

going into space, man.

The exosphere.

Don't make him nervous.

[HARDISON] "Nervous"?

Ain't nobody nervous.

Look, it's not about

me, it's about Parker.

She has been acting a little

sensitive about you leaving this time.

Hardison just needs

something to remind him

how awesome it is here on Earth.

I don't get it. Are you

trying to get him to stay?

Of course not. He's got super

important satellite stuff to do.

I'm just trying to give

him one big adventure

To last for the whole time I'm up there.

Well, that's a pretty high bar.

Hence Freeport. Bigger

security, bigger challenge.

But I need your help.

I'm gonna end up getting kicked

and punched on this, aren't I?

- On your date.

- No, I promise.

But remember, it's a surprise.

So under no circumstances

Can you say a word to Hardison or

anyone else on the team. Got it?

[BOTH] Got it.

You sure you want to

do this? It's a big job.

Freeports are almost

impossible to break into.

It's romantic.

Don't you want to help our

friends with their date night?

What am I doing? I'm making

a four course meal for 'em.

- Yeah, Chef.

- It has to travel. It has to reheat.

- Yeah, Chef.

- Hardison's got to serve it on a rooftop.

That's not how that works, by the way.

I got tickets to the basketball game.

Well, we're all pitching in.

Oh, except for Breanna.

She's excused for the evening.

- W w why?

- [STAMMERS] I have my own date. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, with Allie, who

does the kinetic sculpture.

- Ahh!

- What?

It was your first

second date since Emily.

You were excited, so I was excited.

The job's a breeze.

Three elements. We need

an elevator access key,

someone to k*ll the cameras at the

right moment, and a distraction.

- And an individualized biometric code.

- And that.

We told our friends we'd help them

break into dear Lillian's vault,

and that's what we're going to do.

You know, second date, I think

I'd make quite the impression

if I cooked her a meal.

Yeah, yeah, it works. You should.

So, dear Lillian did you know her?

No, but I like her style.

Lillian Baxter Cartland Jones.

She inherited her wealth

from her second husband.

And then when he popped his clog,

she dedicated herself to philanthropy,

collecting art, and marrying

progressively younger men.

Respect. And Lillian's the reason why

it's not impossible to get

into the building because

[BEEPING]

All I'm saying is that

you're an excellent cook.

You're making one meal,

why not make a second?

Think about it. Hook me up. Come on.

What?

[SOPHIE] Lillian's widower,

the ex-tennis pro, Justin,

he's holding a memorial

for her at the Freeport,

showing off some of

her art. That's our in.

Justin. He's our access to the vault?

Uh-uh. No. Lillian's main

heir is her grandson, Mason.

She raised him since he was six.

He's the one with the access.

And luckily, Mason is a big fan

of the Spirit's Ruse mobile game.

What? You can play

it on your phone now?!

Oh, man, you missed it.

Okay, thanks to us, the

OG game came back big time.

So they made a mobile

game out of it, right?

So basically you can find

digital spirits on a real map.

There's even this part in the CBD,

it's known for having Wise Swans.

That's where I'm going

to clone his phone.

So our only problem is not knowing

what items are going to be on display.

We have to make sure that the watch

and the dinosaur skull are in the vault.

That'll be my job. Breanna,

you're on the vault code.

Harry, Eliot, you come

in to play at the party.

[INHALES] This one's adorable.

Let's go steal a date night.

Oh, and she's a vegan.

Keep that in mind.

[BEEPING]

Justin, it says there's

a Wise Swan. Can I?

Sure thing, buddy. Just stay close

enough for me to see you, okay?

- Okay.

- [BEEPING]

[BEEPING]

- Yes!

- Ooh!

- Sorry.

- Yo, Wise Swan.

- Yeah.

- Dude, cool!

[BEEPING]

Fire Dryad!

I was here first. It's my Fire Dryad!

No! Come on!

Justin, get the door.

[BEEPING]

[WHIRRING]

[BEEPING]

Stop! No. You're not

bringing that in here.

Am I the only person with

any artistic integrity?

That monstrosity is throwing

off the entire display.

Excuse me, who are you?

Sharon Hopkins, art curator.

Take it away and bring

me art. A-R-T. Art.

I'm Donald Farmingworth,

owner of Safe Haven Freeport.

I wasn't informed of any

curator for this viewing.

The estate hired me a

week ago. Check your email.

Regardless, the dinosaur is one

of Miss Lillian's favorite pieces.

Mr. Farmingworth, do you really want

the guests here tonight to think

that your high-end storage facility

is trusted to the world's

most valuable and dynamic art?

Or that it's little more than a

footlocker for some dusty old bones?

Yes. Ah. The Waldman. That's perfect.

Bring me the Waldman. Big

painting, full of ducks.

You can't miss it. Chop chop.

You heard her. Now go,

get that out of here.

[TENSE MUSIC]

What's up, brother? You the day shift?

Yeah. Where's Bob?

[PHONE CHIMES]

- Hello?

- [MAN] This is Mad Dog Austin from 102.4.

We're giving away two tickets

to tonight's sold-out game

and you are our lucky winner!

- You're kidding me! That's great!

- [GRUNTS] Oh, my God.

I'm so I'm so sorry.

The game! I'm going to the game!

- Good for you!

- Yeah!

Ahhh!

Yes. Thank you.

I wonder where they got

an extra basketball ticket.

Something came up I guess.

You can go ahead and

head out. [CHUCKLES]

Actually, I'm cool to pull a double.

I could use the overtime.

Well, don't be silly, man.

Get home. Enjoy the evening.

Maybe I'll stick around

and help you out anyway.

I don't mind.

[CHAIRS CREAK]

[HARRY] You know, I could

have done Eliot's job on this.

It's just pushing a button.

It's a two person distraction.

Besides, this is the

perfect opportunity for you

to hone your conversational skills.

I'm a lawyer. That's

all I do is converse.

As a grifter, you also

need to observe. Right?

Let's see who's here we can target.

He's expecting a few

more Richie Rich types.

It's got more of a random

assortment, isn't there?

Oh, I guess Lillian was

more than a collector of art.

Well, that explains

marrying the tennis pro.

[HARRY] Hmm.

Okay, judging by his

hands, he's a violinist.

And her, she's a champion bridge player.

Judging by her shoes, she's a barista.

My barista has shoes just like that.

Excellent. She's your first target.

Remember, leave an

open space and the mark

will fill it with what

they want you to be.

Well, this is a lovely tribute to Lily.

[CHUCKLES] It was

perfect. She'd love it.

Oh, were you, uh, close?

Yeah. She was, uh, always trying

to get me to focus my potential.

She liked how I did the

books at the coffee shop,

so she made me executor to her will.

Yeah. At first I was shocked,

but now I think it's really cool.

- Huh.

- I'm actually studying to be a paralegal.

Oh, well, hey, I'm a lawyer myself.

- Oh.

- Harry Wilson.

If you have any questions before

you take your exam, give me a call.

Yeah. Thanks.

Survival clauses have my head spinning.

[CHUCKLES]

[GLASS CLINKING]

[JUSTIN] Thanks, everyone,

for coming tonight.

Lillian would have been so

happy to see you all here.

The only thing that she loved

more than her art was Mason here.

And what she loved almost as

much was sharing art with others.

Ah-choo!

[CROWD GASPS]

[BEEPING]

[JUSTIN] Well, couldn't be a

party without a party foul, right?

[CROWD CHUCKLES]

Thanks, everyone. Enjoy the evening.

Hardison and Parker are out of the

party and on the way to the vault,

So Eliot, where are we

with cutting the cameras?

Well, it looks like we're stuck

here together for the night, huh?

- Eliot, we need to go to

- I'm going to go take a lap of rounds.

There's something about this guy.

What, like a distinctive haircut?

It's not a distinctive anything.

[BEEPING]

That's what's so distinctive.

All right, I'm gonna cut the cameras.

[POWER WHIRRING DOWN]

Mm. About as long as you, I bet.

[HEAVY THUD]

Uh, somebody cut the cameras.

- It wasn't me.

- It was me.

Mason?

What is it?

Those two men deliberately

avoiding eye contact.

Ooh. Buckle up.

There's going to be a robbery.

[CROWD GASPS]

Hands up, everybody. Stay calm.

We have taken control of the building.

This is a robbery.

[BEEPING]

Is there a failsafe?

I thought if it didn't work the

seventh time, it'll work the eighth.

You're right.

The time for optimism has passed.

You had help?

So did you.

- [HARDISON] Sophie.

- [PARKER] Harry.

[HARDISON] What's going on?

Oh, you know, getting

robbed at gunpoint.

- How about you?

- [HARDISON] We're stuck in the vault.

What do you mean "being

robbed"? Like a guy with a g*n?

- You know, "Stick 'em up"?

- Mm-hmm.

Pretty much.

The leader's name is Nick.

Again, we have locked all

exits from the building.

There is no point in

trying to go anywhere.

Phones and wallets, please.

Eliot, how did they get

control of the building?

[GROANING] I'm gonna need a minute.

- Army?

- One tour.

[GRUNTS]

- All right.

- Why do you ask?

Basic style. No advanced

technique. Watch this.

[GRUNTING]

[EXHALES]

Jimmy pulled the lockdown switch.

I think you're gonna need the

Freeport owner's key to undo it.

[SOPHIE] Well, the owner

is stuck in here with us.

And the plot thickens. Stop licking.

Hardison, I'll go try and

find another way out. Eliot?

Yeah, I'll go see if

I can find an override.

Or just cut the power off.

[DOOR OPENS]

We're running out of options.

We could just stay

here. It's kind of cozy.

"Cozy"? Babe, ain't nothing up in here

but dust mites, dead things,

and probably some degenerative disease.

I know, but it's kind

of romantic, right?

Almost takes your breath

away. [CLEARS THROAT]

Yeah, uh, tonight I was going

for, like, a fairytale romance,

not a "they'll find our dead

bodies huddled in a corner because

we didn't get water or food

for three days" kind of romance.

Why would that be so wrong?

Dying wrapped in each other's arms

surrounded by millions

of dollars worth of art.

I mean, at least that way

we'd be together until the end.

Is everything okay?

I mean, aside from the

obviously impending doom?

Sure.

All right, I hate to

say it, but the vents?

- No.

- You you love vents.

But you hate the vents.

They're tiny and they're dusty,

and they make you all itchy.

And they give you panic att*cks.

That takes you days to calm down.

What is going on?

You know what else has

dusty, tiny little vents?

Spaceships.

Oh

I think it's time to take

Breanna off the bench.

But she's on her date.

[EXHALES]

- Set these

- That looks delicious.

So, do you, like, live here?

Oh, no, no. This is, uh,

this is the family business.

They're just pretty cool about me

using the courtyard for personal stuff.

That's so sweet. You

work with your family.

Yeah, yeah. They drive me crazy, but

[PHONE VIBRATES AND CHIMES]

Sorry.

Oh. I I forgot the hot sauce.

Yeah, uh

Oh, boy. All right.

Be right back. Sorry.

Okay

Okay, what is going on?

And why did Parker text me

"Hot soup space goggles"?

A code or something?

Thank you all very much.

Now, we'll be stepping out

for a bit, but we won't be far.

And we will always be

able to keep an eye on you.

Wait, I I have to [GRUNTS]

[GASPING]

Something doesn't add up.

This place is full of hundreds of

millions of dollars worth of art.

So why the penny-ante holdup?

Maybe because there's hundreds of

millions of dollars worth of art.

While they're here robbing Nola's elite,

nobody's checking the vaults.

Bingo.

Breanna, find out what the

most valuable items here are.

So most of the stuff at the

Freeport, it does not have paperwork.

- That is kind of the point.

- Try.

The question is, is there an inside man?

Well, the owner Don Farmingworth,

he did some business with my own firm.

He took out massive loans

to finance this place.

He might be overextended.

You're about to find out.

- Quite the party, Don.

- Harry Wilson.

I haven't seen you since

your firm screwed me

eight ways to Sunday on the Halsey deal.

Well, that is why I left and

hung out my own [INDISTINCT]

Loyalty to clients.

In fact, I have a client that's got

a collection he's looking to house.

But I have to tell you, Don, this

whole heist thing is not a good look.

Under normal circumstances,

we're the best place for

your clients collection.

A lot of clients sell to each other.

Pieces don't even leave the Freeport.

- Anonymous through LLCs.

- Mason!

He's not here. He's only eleven.

He wandered off playing his game.

Oh, my God. He's out there with them.

Eliot, Mason's gone missing.

All right, I'm on it.

[GRUNTING]

You know, I'm gonna

give you some credit.

Most of the times I knock people

down, they stay knocked down.

Usually by choice.

Seems like I'm holding my own.

Okay, well. Hey, little

kid, you can't be down here.

There's bad people running

around down here. Come with me.

That's the bad guy,

okay? I'm the good guy.

You don't look like a good guy.

Yeah, well, we can discuss

snap judgments later,

but right now, you're

Hey. Hey!

I don't have time for this.

[BEEPING]

Damn it, the kid's on the move.

Hey. Hey, hey! Wake up.

- How many guys on your team?

- Go to hell.

[GRUNTS]

Listen to me. How

many guys on your team?

How many guys on your team?!

- Five men.

- What's the mission?

My job was to jump the guard

and throw the lockdown switch.

We're supposed to rendezvous

at the loading dock.

[GRUNTS]

Okay, so when you think about it,

the most valuable thing

in the building is Mason.

He's the only vault owner there

and the only person whose biometrics

can open doors, even

if there is a lockdown.

Oh, there you are. What happened?

Oh, yeah, speaking of family,

it's just family drama and stuff.

They've been lighting up my phone.

You were going to show me

pictures of your latest piece.

The one that won the

Rube Goldberg award.

Yeah. Um

Mason left the party

because of the game?

He's obsessed with it.

You collect these characters,

and and he must have seen

a rare one and went after it.

Doesn't make any sense.

Why does it make any sense?

Uh [STAMMERS]

It doesn't make any sense

why I would grab these sauces

and forget the side

salad. Like, [GRUNTS]

BRB.

This this game doesn't even

put spirits on private property.

That's how they keep players

out of houses and businesses.

There should not be any

spirits at the Freeport.

We need to work the other guests.

Breanna, pull up all the

info you can on everyone here.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Didn't you tell me that each vault

has its own unique ventilation system?

Yeah, but there's no

duct work between them.

All right, but they all dump

out into the central H back room.

Yeah. So ?

So this is our escape.

Uch! I can't believe we're on date night

and all you can do is talk

about space, space, space.

Sw-sweetie, talk to me.

What's going on in the head of yours?

I just don't know why you have to go.

I don't know why it has to be you.

Because it's me.

The satellite system runs

on a programming language

that I've been building for the

last year specifically for it,

and no one else on the planet

can even read the code again.

I have to go because

there's only one me.

Exactly. There's only one you.

Honey, it's gonna be okay.

Trust me.

But we need to leave

because I'm pretty sure I saw something

very large and ugly

crawling up the wall.

Can't identify it. A lot of legs.

Okay, fine. I'll do the vents.

I'm not going to enjoy it.

♪♪

[DEEP BREATHS]

[GRUNTS]

[HARDISON] Oh, there's some feet.

[PARKER] There's no dust mites in here.

[HARDISON] Yeah!

[EXHALES]

Who the hell locks the doors

in the ventilation room? Who?!

It's just a baby lock. It's easy peasy.

[MASON] Hey, let me out!

They locked me in here!

Did they just lock a

kid inside that vault?

[MASON] Hey, let me out!

Let's go get him.

Through here?

What what, back through the

tiny-ass vent to the vault with locks?

Oh, no, he good. He fine.

There's a biometrics panel

inside the vault in case

the owner accidentally gets trapped.

You stay here, pick that lock,

I go in the vent, Mason gets us out.

Easy peasy.

Parker, love of my life,

I'm begging you. Please

stop saying "easy peasy."

Okay? [STAMMERS] None of this is easy.

And I don't even know what peasy is.

There's another layer.

I believe you chose another future.

How did you say to pick the lock?

That Okay, cool.

You said the left one?

I gotta go two to the right?

But the layers, though

The layers, though. Can I ?

Wait. The the layers.

Go.

- But the

- [PARKER] Go.

I see

Layers.

Hey, hey! Let me out!

- Ahh!

- It's okay. I'm a good guy.

That's what the other guy said.

[GRUNTS]

The other guy was a good guy.

He just gets a little grumpy.

The bad guys are the ones

who locked you in here.

We hate those guys. What

happened to the head?

The bad guys who threw

me in here, they took it.

It's okay. My friends

and I, we're here to help.

Originally, we came to break

into your grandma's place

and play with her stuff

mm, but now [CHUCKLES]

The bad guys smashed it.

Yeah, that's okay. We can

go out the way I came in.

Come on.

- Through the vents?

- Yeah, come on. It'll be fun.

[SOBS]

- Oh.

- [SNIFFLES]

Hey uh

It's going to be okay. Um

Honestly, my boyfriend

doesn't like the vents either.

He gets kind of scared

and cries too, sometimes.

Um, but honestly, it's just like

a big metal tube giving you a hug.

- [SOBS]

- Oh!

I don't know what to do.

I'm so scared.

I need my grandma and she's not

You need her, and she can't get to you.

Parker.

[SNIFFLES]

[SIGHS]

You haven't had a lot of people in

your life who've stuck around, huh?

Your grandma

She's the one who gave you a family,

made you feel safe anywhere

on the planet. [CHUCKLES]

She used to say, "As long

as I got you, you got me,

we'll be okay."

And now she's in a

place that's so far away

that if you need her or she needs you,

you can't get to each other.

Yeah.

You know, I think you and

I are a little bit alike.

We were both alone in this

world until we weren't.

And I know that's really hard.

But you're not alone right now.

So vents, please?

Okay, so I have the detail

on everyone at the party.

First, there is Kimberlee,

barista turned will executor,

who you've already spoken to.

And then next on our list

of potential inside men

is Mitzy and Bitsy Lambert,

the hot sauce heiresses.

- I do hope little Mason is okay.

- Oh.

These things are usually so dull.

Lillian knew how to bring the drama.

Obviously that's why Justin

chose Lillian over you.

Oh, Justin had a taste

for a sophisticated woman.

He couldn't handle our spiciness.

His loss. I would have made sure

he'd gotten enough in the will.

What do you mean?

Lillian's marriage contract payouts

were always based on

how long they lasted.

When she d*ed, she and Justin had

been together for less than a year.

So he only got a half

million in the will.

- Ah.

- Bright side,

maybe he'll need a shoulder to cry on.

No. I tried to advise Farmingworth

since he is short on cash,

but he would not listen.

You

You look like a savvy lady.

You try cryptocurrency.

I'm expert.

[INHALES] Mm

No prego.

[BREANNA] Giovanni Tosca,

financial advisor to

the rich and gullible.

He is not Italian.

So it turns out that Justin

put the moves on Mitzy

before he married Lillian and

didn't get very much in the will.

Mm. Plot thickens.

And the fake Italian,

he just confirmed that

Farmingworth's still overextended.

Mm-hmm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for your patience.

We are

[MAN OVER RADIO] Jimmy's not

at the meeting point. Over.

He's not? That's not like him.

[CROWD SCREAMS]

[ALARM RINGS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Well, there goes our best suspect.

That alarm is gonna call the police.

[GRUNTS] No, no. I need to find Mason!

[SOPHIE] That goes our second best.

Why would they put Mason

in the vault at all?

Good question.

The next person to talk gets sh*t.

[ELIOT] Harry, Sophie,

I'm coming to you.

I'm going to intercept

him at the loading dock.

But this guy's getting way too antsy.

I I got you.

Go get our people.

Kind of got the hint the

second time you disappeared.

No, no, no, this is

it's it's family stuff.

What is it?

I can't tell you.

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

- [CHUCKLES]

- I'm not

No, no, no. Come on.

This is this is not you. This is me.

This is

Man, this is just how my

last relationship broke up.

It it was going great at first,

and then she got a

super important tech job,

and there was investors and

government security checks,

and me and my family

we're just we're sketchy.

And I did not want to

risk her losing her chance.

So I stepped away.

But you got to be there for family.

My family kicked me

out when I was twelve.

So if your family loves you,

go do your thing and call me tomorrow.

[EXHALES]

[GRUNTS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Hey!

Move!

You know, I would love to, gentlemen,

but I'm a little broken down right now.

Actually would would

you guys mind taking a look?

- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]

- [BOTH SCREAM]

Parker was right. Tasing is fun.

♪♪

Guys, that dino head

from Lillian's vault?

Not here.

[STRAINS, PANTS]

- That's weird.

- What's weird?

Stuck.

Maybe you broke it.

I didn't break it.

You're not supposed to go through those.

[STAMMERS]

Mm-hmm. Mm.

- What?

- Air is moving out.

That's why it's stuck. Oh.

- What?

- Nothing.

I just think maybe

pulling the alarm trigger

to fire suppression system,

and now the oxygen is slowly

being sucked out of the room.

But it's totally fine.

"Fine"? Aren't we gonna run out of air?

Not for a while.

Yes!

How long is a while?

What's a while of air?

Um, well, uh, depending on

the, uh, measurements of the

room and the speed of the airflow,

eh, I don't know, like five minutes?

That doesn't sound like a lot.

Okay, Mason, I'm going to need

you to just stay calm, okay?

The calmer you stay,

the less air you need.

Okay?

Did your grandma bring

you down here a lot?

We'd bring a picnic and sit on the floor

and she'd tell me about all the stuff.

Oh, which piece is your favorite?

- Dino head!

- [SCOFFS] Yeah, me, too.

[LAUGHS] Um

I may need to borrow your shoelaces.

Okay

[BEEPING]

[HARDISON] I put the code

in, but it won't open.

The oxygen being sucked out is

creating a pressure differential.

It sealed the door like a vacuum.

I'm gonna go back to the ventilation

room and try to hack the system.

Parker, you need to find a

way to break the pressure seal.

- We need chemicals.

- What?

We have to create a flash

chemical reaction along the doors.

It seemed to break the

pressure holding it closed.

We need to blow it up.

Oh. There might be some

stuff in this tool bag.

What's polymerism?

Ooh, it's like a fuse. But we

need something to light it with.

Tie those together.

You don't happen to know

where any oil or alcohol is?

- Do you?

- Uh, Grandma's secret flask.

When we came in for our picnics,

she used to sneak drinks from it.

It's in the

The drawer under the statue.

She said it got the party started.

Oh.

I like Grandma. Give me those shoelaces.

There we go.

Then this

Wouldn't an expl*si*n

use up more oxygen?

[CHUCKLES] You're a pretty

impressive kid, you know that?

Huh.

Probably don't think

about this too much.

♪♪

[BEEPING]

[SIGHS] At least if I die,

I get to see my grandma again.

A, you're not gonna die.

B [GRUNTS]

Here.

You see this? It's pretty, right?

It's just time.

Love's not about how much

time you spend with someone.

It's about who you are

when you're together.

And the cool thing is that no

matter how much time passes,

it's just it's something you

always get to keep with you. Okay?

[BEEPING]

Parker, I'm not going to

be able to stop the airflow.

Yep, we got it.

Go behind the pallets.

Um, are you sure about this?

Let's get this party started.

Carl, come in. Lou, come in.

Carl. Lou.

The boy is gonna die.

Your men locked that boy in the vault.

Now, because of the fire alarm,

the air is being sucked out.

A child will die today,

and it will be your fault.

And the men who paid you,

they'll just walk away.

- [RUMBLING]

- [CROWD GASPS]

What the hell did you do to my men?

What the hell did you do to my men?

[CROWD MURMURS]

Yo.

[CROWD GASPS]

[MAN] Let's go. Let's get out of here.

- [CROWD SCREAMS]

- Mason.

Mason?!

Hardison, do you have Parker?

Mason? Mason!

What? What is this doing here?

Looking for me?

[GASPS]

Oh, thank God.

How did you know that

Mason was in the vault?

I, uh the game. I I

I have the game on my phone

so I can find him when he

wanders off in search of a spirit.

[SOPHIE] But you didn't have your phone.

And the spirits don't

appear on private property.

You know, Sophie, the

only way for a spirit

to end up in the vault

in the first place

is if someone hacks Mason's

phone to put it there.

Someone close.

Close enough to know

it would lure him there.

It was a bit of a mystery because

Farmingworth pulled the alarm.

He doesn't have a reason to k*ll Mason.

He did have a motive to facilitate

a robbery, though. Money.

So if you asked him to pull the

alarm just as a final distraction,

without telling him that

Mason was in the vault.

Why would I want to hurt Mason?

Oh, that's an excellent question.

Mason doesn't have a will, and

you're not a blood relation,

so you don't stand to inherit anything.

Then my friend here remembered

what Kimberlee,

Lillian's executor, said.

Any questions before you take

your exam to give me a call.

Thanks. Survivor clauses

have my head spinning.

Survivor's Clause stipulates

that the primary heir

has to outlive the decedent

by 30 days in order to inherit.

Lillian had one.

Now, if Mason were to die

before those 30 days were up,

the entire state would go to

the next heir in the will. You.

And that gave us motive

Icky, icky motive

but we still had questions.

What happened to the dino head?

Why would those guys want to

take it in the first place?

Don't you just hate it when

you got a private Freeport owner

and the mercenaries,

but you just don't have

the working capital?

I mean, what was your

take from the will?

Half a mill? That's not gonna cut it.

So why not have the

mercenaries steal something

and then pay them off with the proceeds?

The Waldman. That's perfect.

You wanted them to steal

the Waldman painting.

But after we had it moved,

the only thing of

similar value in the vault

was the dinosaur skull.

Must have been hard

to make it disappear.

Or was it?

A lot of clients sell to each other.

Pieces don't even leave the Freeport.

Anonymous through LLCs.

[PARKER] Wouldn't be hard to

move a head between vaults,

so we checked the records.

Oh, an LLC just rented

a vault two doors down.

At twice the normal rate.

I have to admit, it was a clever way

to conceal a payoff to Farmingworth.

So what? So some anonymous

LLC renting a vault.

Th-that could have been anyone.

[HARDISON] Didn't we

mention that that LLC

that new LLC was opened up with

a very unique amount of money.

- It was, uh, what was it? About half a mil?

- Oh!

[PARKER] And when

Farmingworth and Nick wake up

to learn that you were

going to m*rder Mason

and leave them holding the bag,

ooh, I bet they're

going to get real chatty.

How did you get the head back?

See, it's Bad Guy 101.

When you get a shiny, brand new vault,

change the default password.

[CHEERING AND LAUGHING]

Whee!

It's just the basics.

- Basics.

- Basics.

We could have left the

dinosaur head in the vault.

I mean, it is evidence against you.

But once we had you on

attempted m*rder of a child,

it seemed rather gilding the lily.

Besides, it's Mason's favorite.

Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?

Don't worry. The police are on

their way, and there's plenty of air.

No! You can't leave me in here.

I can't breathe!

No! Get me out!

I have asthma!

Stop!

Well, I got Farmingworth and

Nick and a couple of their mercs

tussled up like Christmas presents.

Oh, uh, if nobody minds,

I think I might grab a late-night drink,

Especially since I got a sweet

new truck to take her out in.

Hey. Hey. You took

you stole my truck?

Damn it.

Hardison,

if I'm gonna get kicked

and punched on your date

then don't waste it.

What do you say we all head

back to HQ and order some food?

I'm starving.

But nothing will be open this late.

I'm

Hmm?

I worked alone for years.

- Oh, yes, Chef. Yes, Chef.

- [ELIOT] Years.

- [HARRY] Yes, Chef.

- [ELIOT] You're not helping.

[SOPHIE] Just a little appetizer.

Well, I did want

tonight to be memorable.

What's going to happen to Mason?

Uh, yeah, he's rich,

but he's all alone now.

Social services is [INDISTINCT]

And I made a call.

Mason may have lost a grandma,

but there's a good chance

he might just gain a nana.

And he gave me this.

I don't want you to go to space.

I mean, I want you to go to space.

But what if you need me?

Babe, I always need you.

Which is why I'm saying

I should go with you.

I'm small, I can fit in your spacesuit.

Or I can have Breanna start

working on trajectories

- so they intercept your satellite.

- Babe. Babe. Babe.

The idea of me being

further away from you

than I already have been is

Look, what tonight taught me,

what it made me realize is that

we don't need date

nights to be together.

We don't even need to

be on the same planet.

We are Parker and Hardison.

Pardison.

Always and anywhere.

Time and space mean nothing to us.

We're like the Doctor.

We're like two Doctors.

Like a Christmas special

with multiple Doctors.

[LAUGHS]

Yes, we are.

Okay.

But next date night, let's just

stick to jumping off buildings

because tonight was a lot.

Yes. Thank you!

Wait. No! Uh Wait.

All right. It's crazy. Whatever.

[CLOSING THEME PLAYS]

[SCREAMS]

What can I help you with?

Help me prove the expl*si*n

wasn't an accident.

[MAN] Paul was k*lled

by Austin Kirlander.

He founded Silvergard,

which is a shady ass

Largest private security

companies in operation today.

Sounded like Kirlander had a secret

and Paul found out what it was.

Stand by. I'm jamming those infrared

sensors all while microwaving

a bean and cheese burrito.

[GRUNTS]

Don't!