02x09 - The Pyramid Job

[bunniefuu]

Please, I just
can't do this anymore.

I'm spending more
money than I make.

I keep buying new inventory,
but I can't keep up.

I'm doing everything I can to
sell more, but I'm drowning.

I put in return requests
over two weeks ago.

Miranda, honey, you feel
like you're drowning

because you are just
fighting against the current.

Uh, you just got to keep swimming
in the direction you're going.

We can set you up with
a new inventory buy.

I can't buy anymore.

I'm pregnant.

- Oh!
- Oh, well, what a blessing.

That's incredible.

This is even better for you.

Now you can work from home.

Build a life with that.

#MagiqBaby baby.

- Hey. Great sales tool.
- Yeah.

I just can't anymore.

I can't. I can't.

Well, if Magiq Baby is not
part of your journey right now,

it's not like you're a prisoner.

Mama Debra's right.

Not everyone's
built for success.

Now, let's set you up
with those returns.

Wait, you think I'm a failure?

Oh, sweetheart. It doesn't
matter what we think.

No, what matters is
how you feel about yourself.

Magiq Baby isn't just
about selling baby clothes, honey.

This is about transformation.

- Self-empowerment.
- Mm.

You can have it all
if you really want it.

Miranda, do you think of
yourself as a failure?

- No.
- Oh.

No, I'm, I'm not a failure.

I can do this.

Right?

Of course, you can.

Honey, you can because
you are family.

- That's right.
- Forever.

Okay.

That's it.

Ooh.

Well, that should be enough
to reopen the schools, huh?

Pay off the institution's debts?

With quite a bit
left over, I reckon.

Who are you?

Eliot, Billy the Gent.
He's an old friend.

Friend, co-conspirator. All in
the name of crime, right, love?

I told him to meet us here.
He said he wanted to talk.

Though, I did say
to wait outside.

Oh, I know, but I never
see any action anymore.

That's no fun.

Jeez.

So, darling, a mutual acquaintance
told me you were still in the game.

And I wondered if you'd
be interested in a job.

Mutual acquaintance? Let
me guess, is he Irish?

Did he have a big mouth?

The one and only, Arthur
Wilde.

No, no. I don't do that
kind of work anymore, Billy.

But it... it's
about my daughter.

You remember Miranda?

Oh, maybe, maybe not. She
was barely more than a baby

when that whole business
with the crown went down

and Arthur and I
ended up in prison.

Her mom brought her to
stateside while I was gone.

You can't blame her for
that. Now, Miranda and I,

- we're not that close...
- Is she in some kind of trouble?

Yeah. She's fallen under
the spell of a scam team,

in deep with an MLM.

Multilevel marketing?

Yeah, it is a scam.

They get unpaid workers
to sell their product

with a promise of moving up
levels for bigger rewards.

They get them to buy more
product than they can sell

and turn them into recruiting
agents for other victims.

It's a pyramid scheme.

Yeah. It's a legal
pyramid scheme.

Her mom says she's
nearly bankrupt.

Afraid she's on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.

What are they called?

- Magiq Baby.
- Magiq Baby?

The company that sells those
cute little baby clothes.

I had an ex... I had... I dated...
You know what, I don't have...

Her mom asked me to help,

but it's not exactly my bag.

Now, Arthur said that you...

are something of a do-gooder now, and
it never hurts to help an old friend.

Especially one who
went to prison for you.

Nope.

Mm-mm. I don't trust him.

Hey, this guy comes
out of the woodwork?

Well, it sounds like the
girl could use our help.

Do you have a plan?

Yeah.

Breanna's gonna hate it.

Accountant?

Seriously?

This is the best use of my meticulously
honed master thievery skills?

Well, at least you're
not in the food truck.

They have cutting-edge security to
protect a bunch of presentations

written in Comic Sans.

They're pictures of babies.
What are they hiding?

Plenty, I imagine.

Debra Prosper.

She's the face of Magiq Baby.

The husband, Richard,

he's run schemes
like this before.

He knows how to play it right
up to the edge of the law.

This is sus as hell.

The real question is, how am I
gonna get my Yes Virus on this?

The Yes Virus.

Once I'm in place, I
hack into the system,

put this little bad girl on.

She automatically says yes to every
seller return request in the system.

And we bankrupt the company?

Yes!

I'll figure it out.

Don't worry, because I am
definitely not worried.

How's the working stiff?

She's having a bit of a Monday.

Hello.

- It's 4:00 p.m., Magiq Baby family...
- What?

...and that means it's
time for the daily baby talk.

- Now, today...
- Daily?

I want y'all
to think about family.

I want you to think
about your own family...

As in everyday?

I want you to think about
your mamas and your daughters

and your sisters, your
aunts, your cousins...

Every day, 4:00 p.m. on the dot.

Oh, Debra is a shining beacon
of light in the darkness.

She's a lighthouse when
you're in a lifeboat.

A night light when you're
stuck in a little room

- and you're like, "Oh, my God." And you...
- Oh, quick Q, Ronald.

Um, so I'm supposed to be doing

- data entry and...
- Yeah.

There's no data and there's
nowhere to enter it.

Oh, uh, I see you don't have
access. I'm Sapphire level.

Everything here goes by levels,
and the higher you go up,

the less people have access.

Now, I want you to think
of yourselves as ambassadors.

I want you to think of yourselves...

- ...as ambassadors.
- Huh.

So, it's like a pyramid?

The power to reach
out and spread the...

I never thought
about it that way.

Well, Debra and Richard,

they're the only ones with
Diamond access, of course.

- And they look at us from the top...
- From the top of the pyramid?

I guess so. Huh.

Well, if you ever need
anything, just let me know.

- Okay.
- Hmm, top of the pyramid.

Magiq Babies
come from Magiq Mamas.

Be the magic.

Sounds like encrypted
security keys.

Uh, in-field m*ssile
launch authorization.

Where'd you learn that,
m*ssile Launcher Monthly?

All right, I need a high enough
level key to access the computers

that control the
return requests.

Without it, I can't
embed my Yes Virus.

So, it's
a pickpocket job.

Or a pick-bracelet job.

The Diamond Mama Bash
for the elite sellers,

that's the perfect
place to hit them.

Breanna creates a cover
for me as a top UK seller,

I get close to
Debra, lift the key.

- So, you want me to steal Richard's?
- If you could find it.

It doesn't look like
he always wears his.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't either.

Precisely.

Oh, Richard.

He's constantly
surrounded by women,

babies, feminine energy.

It's confining.

He needs a buddy.

We'll run a friendship
honeypot scam.

- The bromcom.
- The bromcom.

Huh? Excuse me?

It's a bromcom. It's
like a romcom with dudes.

Every romcom has four parts.

We need a meet-cute,
a sexy complication,

a hook, and a joyful defeat.

Basically, I got to
make this guy my bro

and then he shows me
where the keys are.

Um...

actually, not you.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

This car is awesome!

Is that what you
say, awesome? Boss?

Bitchin'? Bad-ass? This car
is cherry. This car is tough.

- Um, I can't, I can't...
- It's got to be Harry.

You'd overwhelm Prosper. He'd
be way too intimidated by you.

Okay? Harry's much less manly.

What? Excuse me?

Not a scratch.

You don't drive
this thing over 55.

You don't drive this car
over 55 miles an hour?

I drive it how I... You
don't drive it over 55.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

I've got a dozen
people in my downline.

My rebirth was
the best thing that I...

My
downline is really...

My rebirth
couldn't have come sooner.

All right, ladies.

Be the Magiq.

Be the Magiq.

You're at Sapphire table five.

- Oh, thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

So, I am this close to Emerald.

Now, I have been stuck at
Sapphire for the past three years

ever since my rebirth.

I remember when I went
through my rebirth.

But, you know, the new
product line is going to just

fly off the shelves and you'll
be at Emerald status in no time.

Oh.

They're all so smiley.

Love bombing. It's a
proven cult technique.

Though, I am curious to
know what this rebirth is.

Okay. Rebirth is...

when a seller is demoted back
down to the lowest level.

Their whole downline
is taken away.

It's a way for Magiq Baby
to keep the seller's bonus

and disguise it as
a training tool.

Oh, ladies.

Isn't the Magiq Baby life good?

Yeah!

I said, isn't the
Magiq Baby life good?

Now, we are here to celebrate

the real magic in Magiq Baby.

And that is you. That is you.

The person who wants to
celebrate you the most

is also the person that brought
this whole family together.

My wonderful,

Magiqal Mama, Debra.

Hello, Magiq Mamas.

Uh, you are all
here today, ladies,

because we have
all been blessed.

- Yeah!
- That's right. That's right.

Those negative Nancys,

they like to say that there
isn't enough pie to go around.

But we know, the Magiq Mama
mindset says that you...

you...

you have the power to
create more abundance.

Y'all, there's always
more pie.

Hey!

Magiq Babies come
from Magiq Mamas.

Be the Magiq!

Be the Magiq.

Our client Miranda's here, too.

Remember, she doesn't know
we're here to help her.

Want me to broom her,
dump her in Venezuela?

No, but keep an eye on her.

We know she's
emotionally fragile.

Will do.

Next step, Breanna,
set the meet-cute.

We are going to
be giving out prizes.

I know y'all like prizes.

One special lady will be getting
a pink and blue Cadillac.

Can I help you?

Sorry, is that a little loud?

I'm trying to figure this out.

Well, these high-flow catalytic
converters will break your heart.

You know these cars?

Well...

- You mind getting your hands dirty?
- Oh...

not at all.

Good. Now
flirt with him.

- Come again?
- Flirting is the key ingredient

to the meet-cute. It's
all about the chemistry.

Bow chicka wow wow.

Sorry, did you say something?

Nope.

Yeah, that's nice wrench work.

Well...

You know your way
around a Hemi V8 engine.

I've always had a keen interest
in high-performance automobiles.

Okay. Give her a try.

Whoo! Yeah!

I've been trying to get
her to do that all day.

Well, like a
high-performance woman,

it takes a delicate touch.

Great job, Harry.

Now, for part two,

the sexy complication.

Thanks for the help.

You, uh, wanna take
her for a spin?

Oh? Well...

I think the missus can handle
things here for a little while.

Let's go.

Mama Prosper,

I'm such a fan.

Oh.

Oh! Margaret Bentley.

I've come all the way from
the UK to upgrade my mindset.

I just know I'm not meant to be
stuck at Sapphire, Mama, forever.

From the UK?

- Mm-hmm.
- Huh.

I could swear I heard a touch
of Boston in your accent.

Oh?

Well, I have spent
some time there.

Hmm.

Attention, mamas.

- Excuse me, Magiq Mamas.
- Oh.

This here is Sapphire mama,

Margaret Bentley, joining
us all the way from the UK.

And she's gonna tell
us the five Magiq keys

to enrichment and success.

Now, every Sapphire mama
should know these by heart.

Oh, lights.

Oh. Ah.

Oh.

Here you go. Come on, then.

All right. Just give me a
sec. I'm looking it up now.

Don't bother.

Excuse me?

Don't bother...

with the five steps...

if you're just
repeating from memory.

Magiq Baby isn't about reciting.

It's about a way of life.

It's about enrichment
as a family.

And the five steps are
how we begin this journey.

Let's do it together.

Step one.

Set a goal.

For yourself, for our
company, for our future.

Step two...

Be strategic.

Confidence comes from knowing how
you're gonna accomplish your goals.

- And...
- Oh. You tell us the rest, honey.

Step three, stay organized.

Four, keep focused.

And the most important
of all the steps,

rejoice!

How did
you know all that?

Those are the basic tenants of a
dozen self-help success manuals.

Nice job winging it.

But I got to tell you,
fake it till you make it

is not gonna work
here at Magiq Baby.

Ooh. She's good.

She saw right through me.

We're gonna have to
step up our game.

Breanna, any luck?

Ronald moved me up
to Sapphire access

and somehow it's worse.

It's like they Frankensteined a dozen
different accounting programs together.

And I still can't get to
the seller request records.

Ah!

God!

I just can't stop thinking about
what you said about those pyramids.

Okay.

Because our financial
structure works the same way.

You work your way up by
adding more people under you.

And the real revenue
doesn't come from sales.

Recruitment is actually kind of

the only way a
seller makes profit.

So, it might be
a pyramid scheme?

No. No. It can't be.

No.

Oh, Ronald.

Parker, I'm gonna need your help
getting Debra's attention again.

You got it. What you thinking?

I'm thinking a blessed event.

Hmm.

I'm just so overwhelmed.

I know. Oh, it's tough.

The pregnancy and taking
on extra catering jobs.

Magiq Baby would
be perfect for you.

I could put you in my
downline and set you up today.

Really?

Oh, I'd love a chance
to get off my feet

and just relax before
a little Alec arrives.

Well, it sounds like
the Magiq Baby family

is about to get a little bigger.

Oh, my goodness.

The Debra Prosper.

It is such an honor.

- I should get back to work now.
- Oh.

You know, I looked into you

- and your numbers are very impressive.
- Oh.

And, you know, I really
like that salesmanship.

I always tell my girls
that a stranger is just...

...a Magiq Baby
seller you haven't met yet.

Miranda, honey, come here.

This is amazing.

This weekend is... it's
everything I needed.

Oh. You do need this.

But that's not all
you need, is it?

No. I think that you need a
little Magiq Baby love.

Mamas, come here.

Gather round. This
here is Miranda.

And she has recently struggled

with negativity in her mindset.

But she has chosen to persevere

and not let that
negativity stop her

from being the Magiq.

Oh, I'm so proud of her.

But, you know, I can't help but
wonder if there isn't something more

that we can do to help you.

What do you think, Margaret?

Is there something
more that we could do

to help Miranda reach
her full potential?

Sophie, she's testing you.

Uh, maybe she
could use something

to help reenergize her.

Uh, how about a rebirth?

A rebirth?

No. No.

I've already invested so much
to get to the level that I'm at.

- I don't think that's...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, honey.

That is just negativity
creeping in there.

Sometimes you have to
go back to go forward.

Everyone, let's
congratulate Miranda

on her rebirth.

That is exactly what I would've
done. You know the secret, my friend.

Magiq takes sacrifice.

If it was easy, everyone
could do it, right?

Mm-hmm.

Why don't you come on up
to my penthouse with me

and have a little chat?

I want to sit down and
get to know you better.

I would love that, Debra.

Parker, check on Miranda.

I did what I had to do.

Hi.

Uh, I don't have a tissue,

but, uh, you can use my sleeve.

I'm fine. Thank you.

How far along are you?

Oh. About forty... four...
Fourteen months.

Yeah. I guess it could feel
like that sometimes.

Oh, your eyes are leaking again.

You sure you don't
want my sleeve?

You know, I just don't
think I could do this.

I'm pregnant too and I don't...

I don't think I could handle
everything falling apart right now.

I was... I was
going broke before

and now I have to
start all over again.

And you're worried
that you're a loser?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, hey, you don't have to
worry about being a loser.

I don't?

- Why?
- Because you are a loser.

What?

But so are everybody
else in this room.

Look, according to the FTC,

99% of people in MLMs
lose their money.

And only a measly
1% make a profit.

- Is that true?
- Oh, yeah. You can Google it.

So, why worry about
being a loser when...

that's exactly what
you signed up for?

Thanks.

Oh.

In case you need this later.

Thanks.

The price
was negotiated objectively,

so if you choose to renege

on the deal,

you will regret it.

Hey, Eliot, have you ever
tried selling Russians

a truckload of microwaves?

They don't like hot food.

I was under the impression you
weren't in the game anymore.

Does anyone ever really leave?

What's got you
sneaking up on me?

This isn't sneaking.

This is lurking.

- A big difference.
- Oh, yeah?

Oh, let me guess.

You're here to tell me
that you care for...

What's she go by now? Sophie?

And, uh, you're
here to protect her.

Well, strike two.

However, all those things
you just said are true,

but that's not why I'm here.

All right, then.

Why are you here?

Because you're gonna tell
me everything you know

about what happened back
in the day with Sophie,

with Arthur, the duke, you.

All of it.

Can't talk about Dirty Harry
without talking High Plains Drifter.

Right, A Fistful of Dollars.

Ooh. Good, Bad, and the Ugly.

Yeah. This is what I
call a proper office.

Well, this is just
my one in Louisiana.

I got offices on the
coasts and in Europe.

- Impressive.
- Yeah.

So, he's brought
you back to his place.

You're gonna need
him to open up.

It's time for the hook.

Talk about something
that make men cry.

- Ah.
- You got great taste.

Well, thank you.

You know, this place kind
of reminds me of, uh...

Well, it, kind of, reminds
me of my old man's office.

God rest his soul.

Oh, I'm sorry. Mine passed, too.

- Oh.
- Never had an office, working stiff.

But I always imagined
that if he had one,

he'd want it to
look just like this.

Yeah.

It's nearly perfect.

- Nearly?
- Well, all we need is a bottle of brandy

and some Cuban cigars.

How's a bottle of Louis XIII
and some Cohiba sound to you?

Whoo!

No sign of the bracelet yet.

But he does have a wall safe.

Is it digital?

No. Old-school combination.

Whoo!

Oh. Now I'm getting all flushed.

Harry, I'm coming your way.

I gotta hide this from Debra,

so I keep it in the safe.

Wise.

Hmm.

Pregnant bellies are so
great at hiding stuff.

No one ever talks about that.

When the authorities found out that
the Maharaja's crown was a fake,

our heist of the
original was revealed.

They went back and found
me on some security footage

driving the getaway car.

And you think Sophie told
them the crown was fake?

Absolutely not. What
benefit would there be?

- Well, what's your beef with her?
- I don't have one.

It's my own fault for having
such a characteristic nose.

You can catch it on
a CCTV, honestly.

What about Arthur Wilde?

Oh. Yeah.

Well, that's a little
more complicated.

We were a team. All right?

This was our boldest heist yet.

When it went south, then someone
higher up on the food chain

than just the driver
had to take some heat.

Arthur felt like your Sophie threw him
under the bus to save her own skin.

And why would she do that?

Well, she was marrying
a duke, wasn't she?

I mean, that's, that's right
posh. That's not a put-on anymore.

She wasn't about
to jeopardize that.

And she let you take the fall?

Nah. I was going
down regardless.

But Arthur,

maybe she could have whispered
in the right ears to spare him.

Honestly, with their history, it
was a bit cruel leaving him to rot.

This doesn't sound
like Sophie to me.

Oh, yeah.

You've known her for years.

You believe her. You trust her.

Well, I knew her for
a long time, too.

Only I didn't forget
that she's a con woman.

Professional liar, deceiving
people for a living.

Even the people closest to her.

So, I
finally told him,

"Fine. Richard, you can
have your little man cave."

I had to get him out from under
my feet every now and again, huh?

Oh.

You are so confiding.

It's just wonderful to get
this chance to know you.

Oh, well, thank you.
But, Margaret...

Margie, we're here
to learn about you.

Tell me, how did Magiq Baby
come into your life, huh?

Oh. Well, it's not the
happiest of stories.

It was just a bad relationship.

Oh.

He had me on a
string, like a puppet.

But I decided, no, that was
not how my story was gonna go.

So, I left him.

It was hard, but I
knew I deserved better.

And then I discovered
Magiq Baby.

And I turned my life
around in three months.

I just don't know where
I'd be without it.

Hmm, good story.

Probably helped you convince
a lot of buyers, huh?

Joanne?

Do you remember what I
said when you told me

how you came to Magiq Baby?

Oh, yes.

You said that if I didn't
wanna take this seriously,

the door was right there.

Yep.

'Cause Jo-Jo here lied to me.

Just like you did, Margie.

I got a knack for catching lies.

A family this big, we can't
be dishonest with each other.

She's so scary, like
a human lie detector.

Which means Sophie
can't lie to her.

You got me.

Yeah.

You're quite
perceptive, aren't you?

Ladies, what do I always
say about the levels?

- You don't level up if you don't open up.
- You don't level up if you don't open up.

That's right.

Oh, I just want everyone at Magiq
Baby to achieve their full potential.

And that is why I push so hard.

You know, the pressure is
where diamonds come from.

So, Margie...

the truth.

I can't help but
feel that you have

or had someone in
your life that...

really changed things for you.

Tell me about him.

- Ronald!
- So, Debra says the Magiq Baby way

is the only way for people
to achieve their dreams.

You build, you move up,
and you get what you want.

And that's good, right?

I don't... I don't know.

Is that what you want?

You want a polo shirt
and a cheap bracelet?

Not really.

And my bracelet was $200.

They make you pay
for those? Yikes.

The higher up you go,
they want even more.

Ronald, what is the dream?

Oh, it's silly.

- Come on.
- No, I couldn't.

- Come on.
- No, I couldn't.

- No, you could tell me.
- I play the trumpet.

I always wanted to be
a jazz man.

You know... It's crazy.

That's, that's
cool as hell, man.

Actually, hey, so I've
been trying to reconcile

some of this third-quarter data,

and I was just wondering, um,

how do you deal with
seller return requests?

Oh, that's all overseen
by Debra and Richard only.

They like to make it a
face-to-face meeting.

Hmm. So, you have to get
all the way to the top

to get out of the company?

Yeah.

All returns are done
via Debra's computer

in the penthouse, in case
you were curious.

I'm going to lunch.

Oh, that's...

Harry. I'm here,

you and Richard should not be.

Clear him out.

Hey, uh, we ought to,
uh, get up to something.

Maybe go hit the
cages or the links.

You know, I'm a member
over at Bradgebriar.

You strike me as the kind of man
that appreciates history, am I right?

I never met a World w*r II
documentary I wouldn't watch.

Well, I'm about to take you
back a little further than that.

Come on, it's upstairs.

Huh.

So, we need to upload your Yes
Virus directly to Debra's computer?

Yep.

And the only way to get onto
her computer is with their keys.

- Any luck?
- Ugh.

It smells like dude in here.

Ah.

Hmm. I got gold
bars, a few Rolexes,

land contract written in
what looks like Uzbek,

Mark McGwire rookie card,

but no bracelet and
no security key.

Got to admit, you're
piquing my curiosity.

Welcome
to my manne hule.

It's Norwegian for man cave.

Cost a fortune, but naturally,
it's all on the company dime.

Oh.

- Yeah!
- Yes, sir.

This... this is incredible.

Well, I just needed
a place to be myself.

You know, get away from all
the estrogen in the building.

Hear that.

Now,

how about a friendly fight?

What's that now?

Yeah.

You see, we're warriors.

And this world, it's gone soft.

And we're meant to
strive, to fight,

to defeat our enemies and
when we reap the rewards,

to feast in Valhalla.

Yeah, totally.

All right. That's yours.

- Really?
- Yes.

All right.

So this is really...

- This is really happening?
- Oh, yes, sir.

I've got eyes on the
bracelet. Third floor, man cave.

Things are getting a
little weird up here.

- Ha. Ha.
- Ha. Ha.

- Ha!
- Holy crap.

- Okay.
- Oh, that's it.

Oh, you feel that?

Feel that blood just
flowing through your veins?

We're conquerors.

Okay!

I'm not a patient person.

If you're not gonna
be truthful...

He was a lot of things,

but mostly, he was a planner.

He could see everything...

from every angle.

But he couldn't always
see himself, huh?

Those were the moments
where he might miss a step,

but that got better
after we got together.

And then the plans we
made became about us

and all the things we
were gonna do together.

And then he had to go and die,

mess up the whole plan.

But we have a family,

and it's my responsibility
to take care of them.

Maybe I'm not
enough without him,

but I have to be there for them.

Everything I do is for them.

What's that?

That fell out of your ear?

That's, uh, that's my
hearing aid.

Too many years around
loud engines, you know?

Now that story smells
like the truth.

And it felt good, didn't it?

Hmm?

To get that out.

Actually, yeah.

Ladies, could you give
us some privacy, please?

Allow Margaret here the space
to really express herself.

Okay.

It's just you and me now.

You don't have to
hold anything back.

Oh. What are you doing?

This leads to the
restricted zone.

Oh.
I'm so sorry.

I was looking for the restroom.

There are plenty of
restrooms back that way.

How did you end up
all the way over here?

You don't have to
worry about her.

She probably just got lost.

- Yeah.
- You know this woman?

Yeah. We were just
talking a moment ago.

- She's gonna be a mom soon.
- Mm-hmm.

What happened to your belly?

Oh. Oh. Oh.

There is a perfectly good
explanation for this.

Yeah, loud engines.

That'll do it to you.

Let me get that
for you, old man.

Hey, let me get that.

So I
made a fake belly,

so that I could get into the
mindset of being pregnant, you know?

Hearing aids don't
usually talk to you.

I had to pay extra
for that feature.

I bet you did.

I hope you fight
better than you lie.

Fortunately, I've had
good teachers in both.

What? Harry gets a sword fight
and I get stuck in a cubicle?

Uh-uh. You know what? Whatever.

I have to get to
Debra's computer.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a second.

Breanna, I didn't go to lunch.

I went home and
picked up my trumpet.

There's no pyramid
schemes in jazz!

Whoo! Ha-ha!

Follow your dreams.

Oh, I'm gonna enjoy b*ating
the truth out of you.

You want some truth?

Your brandy's watered down
and your Cubans are fakes.

Damn it!

Ooh!

Oh, you did not!

Part four of the bromcom,

the joyous defeat.

I don't understand
what you want from me.

- I just told you.
- No. You told me a truth,

but not the truth.

No, not the one that keeps you up
at night. Now you are so close now.

Don't give up.

All right, Debra.

I'll tell you a secret.

Something I've
never told anyone.

Not something that
happened to you,

like your husband dying, huh?

This is about
something that you did,

something that you hold
a lot of guilt about.

There was someone
who trusted me,

who relied on me
to protect them.

And I took that
responsibility for granted.

And when it came
to making a choice,

whether to stay or to leave,

I chose to leave.

I abandoned them.

I chose to take care of myself.

And it's not just that I did
that, that I made that choice.

It's that I know it
should have haunted me,

that a good person
would have thought

about what they'd
done every day since.

But the truth is, I haven't.

I moved on.

I lived my life in
such a way that I...

I couldn't look back.

I couldn't think about
what I'd done to them.

I dug a hole in myself,

and I put this person in it,

and I made myself forget,

and it worked.

The truth hurts.

And that is how
we know it's true.

Just like your truth.

- Mine?
- Yes, Debra.

You see, I'm a bit of
a lie detector also.

And I've been listening
to your bollocks all day.

You don't raise people up.

You keep them down.

You manipulate them.

You sell them this promise of
untold wealth and independence,

and then you suck them dry
and move on to new victims.

- Mm.
- You call Magiq Baby a family

'cause you can't call
it what it really is,

- just a pyramid scheme.
- Oh.

Run by a cheap grifter
in expensive jewelry.

Well, I knew something was
off about you.

Yeah, I figured I'd call you up
here and see if I was on the money.

Oh.

And what if Magiq Baby
is a pyramid scheme, hmm?

Well, all that would mean is... that
there are a lot of people below me

lifting me up who
won't let me fall.

And I know they won't, no, because
I take money from them every day

and they love me for it.

Yeah.

They want me to tell them
what to do, what to think.

They, they, they need me

to tell them who
they are.

You see, they give me money

and I provide a service.

Without me, there's no
magic in their lives.

Oh, without me,
they are nothing.

Now, do you remember what
we talked about earlier,

diamonds and pressure?

Well, we're about to see how
much pressure you can take.

Security!

You're not the
first one to come in here

and think she could
ride herd on me.

No. This ain't my first rodeo.

But you are about to see what it's
like to get stomped on by the bull.

Why are you smiling?

Just because everything
you just said

smells like the truth.

Mm.

Where the hell is my security?

Security!

You kept me talking for ages.

Uh, Do you... do you have
the time, by the way?

The time is...

Because just about every Magiq
Baby seller you have is tuned in

to a very special
edition of Baby Talk.

I take money
from them every day

and they love me for it.

Yeah, they, they, they need me

to tell them who
they are.

Without me, they are nothing.

Be the Magiq.

Hey! Those are expensive.

No. No. No, no.

No, no, no, no.

Are you, uh, getting some
constructive feedback?

- Richard! Come on.
- Yeah! Yeah.

Here. Here. Okay. Okay.

Thank you so much for plugging
my key into your system.

It's so nice to have a
boss that supports you.

- What did you do?
- Uh...

- What did you do?
- What? I didn't.

I was playing.

Oh. You dumb son of a bitch.
Just go clean up this.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- I'll call the helicopter.

Sorry, we're late. Mom stuff.

So, you wouldn't just
jump in to having a baby?

You practice first.

Nope.

Perfectly a good
explanation for this, too.

Don't wanna ruin
any cool getaways,

but I wouldn't bother
going for that safe.

Shh. She's sleeping.

Ha-ha! And since in about three
minutes all your cash is gonna be gone,

your hard assets are gonna be liquidated
to cover any outstanding debts,

of which there will be many.

But don't worry, it's gonna
be a quick and easy process.

Since you threw an axe at me, I
made a few calls to expedite things.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No!

Not my humidor! no!

By the way,

my Yes Virus also said
yes to me having access

to your whole entire system,

so now I have proof that you two
are running a pyramid scheme.

Department of Justice really
frowns on that kind of thing.

I think they might be
stopping by here soon.

No.

Think of it as a rebirth.

That story about
the person you abandoned...

it was a daughter, wasn't it?

- So all's well that ends well?
- Yeah. My Yes Virus kicked in

and not only did everyone who
requested a return get one,

each and every Magiq Baby
mama got a nice bonus.

Hey. All right.

Miranda should have enough left
over to get some much needed help.

They are gonna have a hard time
selling baby clothes from prison.

Although, I have met some
babies who belong in prison.

You like wearing that thing?

Oh, yeah. This is great.

I might wear it all the time.

People get out of my way and
I can store snacks and stuff.

There you go.

Oh, Harry.

God, that armor doesn't
breathe, does it?

No, it doesn't,
but I'm keeping it.

Cheers.

Cheers.

All I got to do now is clean up
Eliot's car before he gets back.

Apparently, Richard spilled
beer in the cup holders.

Where are Sophie
and Eliot anyway?

On an errand.

Mm. Who are we listening to?

Oh, that's Ronald. He's cool.

He's pretty good.

Oh, hey. I just got
off the phone with Miranda's mom.

- Oh.
- She's as pleased as punch with me.

Said I could even buy her
a drink when I'm in town.

When did you learn
to speak Uzbek?

What do you mean?

This has been about
that land in Uzbekistan

that the Prospers had.

My colleague found the
contract in Richard's safe.

You weren't speaking
Russian on the phone.

It was Uzbek.

Well, one of my
cellmates was Uzbeki.

His accent was so thick,
it was easy to learn

and try and decipher what
he was saying in English.

So between Miranda
and the Uzbek,

you were the perfect person
for this job to lure me in.

Yeah, but you really
did help my daughter.

And for that, I am
eternally grateful.

Oh.

But... an interested
party thought

the land would make a better runway
than a warehouse for cheap baby clothes.

Two birds and all that.

An interested party?

- You talking about Wilde?
- No.

If this is about a runway,

then it's for Ramsey,

which means you're
still working for him.

Does anyone ever really leave?

You know, think of it this way.

He's very grateful for
the favor you've done him.

Who the hell is Ramsey?

Someone who I very much
hoped thought I was dead.

Emma came up with a piece of math that
could be used to develop cold fusion.

Dr. Grey had you kicked
out of his class?

No one gets in my
way at this school.

It's the word of America's favorite
science professor against...

A lowly grad student.

He stole your future.

I am the Establishment.

I want him bagged and gagged.

Now we're talkin'.

We have to get Grey
to take himself down.

It's like a battle
zone out here.

- Security!
- I already have a lab coat.

Oh, boy.