01x07 - Tiny Toddler/Magical Beefery Tour

[bunniefuu]

[exciting music]

- ♪ Oh here we go up the tubes ♪

♪ Fighting crime is what we do ♪

♪ A superhero and his sidekick with a plan ♪

- He has a plan!

- ♪ Who's the one behind the mask ♪

♪ Who can move superfast? ♪

♪ It's Kid Danger... ♪ - And look!

- ♪ It's Captain Man ♪

- ♪ So come along ♪ - Come along!

- ♪ It's the adventures of Kid Danger ♪

♪ ♪

♪ This is the song ♪ - This is the song!

- ♪ For the adventures of Kid Danger ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm okay ♪

- Feels good.

[children laughing, talking indistinctly]

- Oh, yes! Balls! My favorite shape!

And I have them all to myself!

[microphone feedback] - Uh, hey, everyone.

Some guy lost a hundred bucks in the ball pit.

And, uh, whoever finds it, can keep it.

- Ah! [kids shouting excitedly]

- Oh dear. [yelps]

[heroic music]

[buzzer sounding] Automated voice: Metal. Metal.

- Huh? Hmm.

- What kind of restaurant is this?

- Funk. E. Festers.

Ahh, kids love this place.

- Psh. Kids also love

peeing in swimming pools.

- [impish giggle] Who doesn't?

- I know right?Come on,

let's get our food and get out of here.

- Hi! We're here to pick up a pizza.

- Last name? - Danger.

- First name? - Kid.

- One sec.

[dramatic thud] - [groans]

- And so then I say,

"Oh, so what are you gonna tell us, tough guy?

" I thought I told you to go snuggle your mother!"

[all laughing]

- [shocked gasp] - The Toddler!

- Gross! - Should we go get him?

- Nah. I'm hungry.

- [strains]

- Ow! My eye!

Cheese and sauce!

That-- what is that enormous thing?

- Uh, it's a mega super large,

extra Funk. E. pizza.

- This pizza is the size of Colorado,

we did not order this.

- Well, some dude named Jasper

ordered it for "Kid Danger."

- Gah, Jasper!

[dramatic flair] - Oh no!

It's a Funk. E. Fire!

- Hey, Todd. He-e-y, Todd.

- Todd-LER!

- Lookit! Right over there!

- [gasps] Captain Man

and Kid Danger! [growls angrily]

- I don't think this pizza's gonna fit in our car.

- It will if I make it fit.

[triumphant music]

- Your shrink blaster?

- My shrink blaster.

- Didn't it used to be bigger?

- Yeah. I shrunk it.

- Huh! - Now, I'll just

set this to "pizza."

And...

- Ooh! Did you see Captain Man's thing?

- It 'shrinkered' his pizza!

- A device that can shrink stuff!

I want that.

- Hey, look, you made our giant pizza get all teeny!

- Don't play with it!

Now come on,we gotta

take this tiny pizza back to the Man Cave

before it embiggens.

[children shouting]

[sinister music]

- Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah.

- [humming]

- Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, there, little girl.

- [gasps] I'm a young woman!

- You can't bring an illegal mallet in here.

- But I need this so I can win prizes

when I play Smack-a-Hole!

- Look, I'm the Funk. E. Safety Boy,

and my job is to enforce the rules of Funk. E--

Ah, just take it in.

- [villainous laughter] Now, the shrink blaster

belongs to me!

Hey, you! Nerd!

Look at my shrink blaster!

- You're hurtingmy nose.

- With this, I can shrinkify

every person in Swellview,

and then I'll be the biggest boy in town.

- My mother says I'm not supposed to talk to

children who look like men.

- Hmm, now, let's see.

The shrink-beam probably sh**t out of

this hole that I'm pointing at my own face.

Oh, no! Oh, crud!

[children laughing]

- No!

Oh, no, no, no! Ah! Ah!

- Hey, Mandy.

You're not supposed to leave the prizes on the counter.

- I didn't.

- Liar![groans]

I'll put it up here, with the other top-shelf prizes.

- Ah, poops and juice.

- It was your fault! - It's not my fault!

- I told you to bring the blaster! That's just--

- You left it on the counter!

[groans] Excuse us?

We, uh-- we forgot our shrink blaster.

- Huh? - Hey, uh--

There it is. See? That's our blaster,

right there. Yeah, right next to

the slow cooker. - Oh.

You gotta win , tickets to get that.

So... - [panting]

- Oh, hey, what-- Oh, that's a weird feeling.

[babbling]

- Dude, what are you doing?

- Uh--I feel like there's something crawling up me!

[shouts] - What's up, dummies?

- [shrill scream] - [shrieks]

- It's The Toddler!

Extra teeny!

- Wha-- what are you doing in my man suit?

- Oh, I just thought I'd let you know

that I'm gonna go win , tickets!

Then, the shrink blaster will be mine!

[grunts] - [shouts]

- Whoa! [grunts]

- Where'd he go? - There!

He's on that pinball machine!

- Hey, g*ons! - Uh, yeah, boss?

- Get over here and collect my tickets!

- Hold it right there, Toddler!

- [grunts]

- Whoa! He jumped inside the pinball machine!

- Whee! [laughing]

[machine beeping]

[grunting]

Take that! And that! [villainous laugh]

- You get out of that machine right now, Toddler!

- No! I need , tickets!

- Whoa, look how many points he's racking up!

- Grab my tickets! Quick!

Put them in my reusable grocery sack!

- In your sack, boss! - Here we go!

- What are we gonna do? If he wins , tickets,

they're gonna give him the shrink blaster!

- Not if we win , tickets first!

- But-but-- - Don't say "but" twice.

I'll stop The Toddler, you start winning tickets!

- Ooh, ooh! Should I use my

super-fast reflexes? - Yes.

Don't be dumb.

- Peek-a-boo.

- [grunts] - [yelps in pain]

- Oops! Pardon me!

[grunting]

Ha-ha! The Wheel of Jackpot!

Come on, spit out those tickets!

Jack my pot.

- Yeah! Ha! Ha-ha!

Pop that zit!

Later, pimples!

[farting noise]

Whoa, so many tickets!

I'm good.

- Yes, yes! [villainous laughter]

More tickets!

So much winning!

- Uh, Captain Man!

Little help, here! Can you help

gather my tickets?

- No! Little busy!

[grunts] [groans in pain]

- [villainous laughter]

- Toddler! Come back here!

- [yells] - Toddler? Toddler?

Where'd you go? Toddler?

- Give that back!

- Oh! Hello, hole!

Go away.

- Ah! There's a tiny man in the Smack-a-Hole!

- [as Scooby Do] Huh?

- Gah!

- My turn. - [yelps]

[babbling]

Hello! [blows raspberry]

- Missed me! - You get! Out of there!

Tiny! Toddler!

- [mocking laughter]

- [babbling]

Four tickets! Three of those tickets!

Come on, tickets! Give me some tickets!

- Come back here and let me smash you!

[shouting] Stand still!

Oh, no, not the split screen!

- [grunting]

Disarmed!

[panting, hollering]

- Okay, Kid Danger.

Just , more tickets to win it.

Don't let me down, brown ball!

Get in, get in, get in, get in!

[groans]

Oh, yeah! [laughing]

, tickets, baby!

I'm gonna get that shrink blaster back!

Yeah! All right.

- Humph. - All I gotta do is

grab my tickets and-- - Ha!

Your tickets have been snatched!

- Hey, those are my tickets, you snatcher!

- [panting] Have you seen Tiny Toddler?

- Yeah, he just snatched my tickets.

- Hurry! Run me to the counter!

- Duh, okay. - [inaudible]

- Come on, we've gotta stop him

before he gets the shrink blaster!

[g*ons babbling] - Hey!

You guys are gonna have to pay for all

those games you broke!

- Okay, do you know who I am?

- Yeah, the dude who broke all the games!

[all arguing]

- Your vest is too small!

- Hello-o!

We're here to cash in some tickets for a prize!

I have at least ,-- oof!

All: Huh? - Here are my tickets!

- Whoa, that's a lot of tickets.

- [groans]

- Smells like,!

- Okay, I want the slow cooker,

right up-- wait!

I'll take that blaster thing!

- Rad choice. [grunts]

- Thanks!

- [groans, whines]

- [gasps] - Wait, wait, uh--

- I really, really wanted that blaster.

So-- - But, I just got it.

- I know, but--

Can't we trade you something for it?

- Oh! How about a kiss from Kid Danger?

- Oh! Uh--

Wait there.

- Hey. So-o-o--

- What, what? Did my little sister

say she'd give us the blaster?

- Uh, yes, uh--

Yep, she did. [nervous laughter]

But uh-- she wants something in return, so--

- Cool, whatever she wants, let's give it to her.

- Ha-ha-ha, I like your attitude.

- Yeah! What does she want?

- [coughs] A kiss from Kid Danger, okay?

- Okay, so let's give it to he-- what?

- Ah, what's the big deal?

- What's the big deal?

- We've got to get that shrink blaster back!

- Gah-- All right, move.

Uh, hello.

[swallows]Miss.

- Hi, Kid Danger.

I see you brought your lips.

- Uh-- heh, yeah.

Why don't you close your eyes before,

you know, the--

The kiss. Eww.

- Sure! Mm-mm!

- [whistling] Oh!

- Mmm-wah!

[both sigh dreamily]

- Oh!

- Gee, Kid Danger, thanks for the kiss!

- Hah, you're welcome.

Yeah, okay, give me the blaster.

- Kay-kay!

- Shrink blaster!

- Good work, Kid! Now, there's

a shrunken pizza in our car.

And I say it's time we get back to the Man Cave

and eat it!

- Yeah! Our work here is done.

- Come on!

[dramatic flair]

- Well, back up on the wall you go.

[grunts]

[triumphant music]

- How long does the shrink effect last?

- Oh. About an hour.

- But, hasn't it already been an hour since--

[both scream] [tires squealing]

- Ow!

[irritated sigh]

Eww. Should we eat the pizza?

- [strains] Well, what else

are we gonna do?

Not eat the pizza?

[both mumbling, chewing]

- Did you know we actually didn't go to the moon?

- Yeah, whole thing was a hoax.

- That's good pizza.

- You almost kissed your sister!

[cheery music]

- Thanks for the beef!

- Next customer.

- Hi! I'm Captain Man.

- Oh, wow, I'm a huge fan of--

- I want two Double-Cheese Beefos,

with everything. And I want some Beef Fries,

And to drink, a large Dr. Beefo.

- And, for me, I'll have a six piece Beef Nuggets.

With beef sauce, and...

Two Little Beefos.

- Hey, they're here!

Okay, I'll sneak it into his Beefo Burger.

- Your order comes to $..

- Oh, uh--

Usually, at most restaurants,

they don't charge celebrities.

- Dude, please just paythe guy.

- No, I'm famous!

What's the point of being famous

if you gotta pay for your food?

- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about--

- Wow!

Wait till I tell my dads that I made burgers

for Captain Man and Kid Danger!

[crunch] [both groan]

- It worked! Just like when

Mr. Star Trek does it!

Okay, now.

I put this on the burger.

- Hello, coworker.

Here's the burgers for Captain Man.

And Kid Danger.

[sinister music] [evil laughter]

- Mm! - Oh, yeah!

- This is so good!

[metallic clank] - Ow!

Geeze, what's in my burger?

Ptoo! - [gasps]

Is it a finger? 'Cause if it's a finger,

they gotta give us free food for life!

Is it a finger?

[gasps] It's- it's--

Oh, my gosh! It's a golden pickle!

- Yeah, I'm gonna go complain.

- Complain, what? No, no, no!

Hey, come here! - [grunts]

[both stammering] - Kid!

Don't you know?

- No. - You gotta know

what the golden pickle means!

- Please get off me.

- When the owner of Beefo's Burgers

hides a golden pickle in a lucky child's

hamburger bun, [stammers]

it's an invitation to see his world famous beefery!

[ding]

- I don't know what a beefery is.

- Ugh! It's the factory

where Mr. Angus T. Beefo makes all his special,

wonderful beefs!

- You're still on me.

- Where's the golden pickle?

- In my hand! - Read it!

Read the golden pickle with your young eyes!

- Uh, it says-it says,

"Mr. Angus T. Beefo

"invites you and one friend

to come to his factory today!"

- Today? [gasps] That's today!

- Kid Danger, hold on to that pickle!

Run for it! Run straight to the beefery

and don't stop till you get there!

- Come on, Kid!

Let's get to that beefery!

- Oh, my head! [toilet flushes]

- The pickle is on the move!

- Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Beef!

[tires squealing]

- My bad. - Don't worry about it.

- Hey, we're here!Hello!

Mr. Angus T. Beefo, it's me! Captain Man!

At your gate! - And uh,

Kid--Kid Danger's also here!

At your gate!

- It's opening, it's opening, it's opening!

- Ooh, birds.

- [excited giggle]

[gasps] Here he comes!

[angelic singing]

- [retching] - Angus T. Beefo,

- [vomits]

Both: Eww.

- [coughing, gagging]

I was just kidding!

Look at me! Woo-hoo!

And up! And down!

And up! And down!

And ju-u-ump!

Howdy! I'm Angus T. Beefo,

and I welcome you to my beefery!

- Hi, I'm Kid Danger.

It's really cool to-- - Hi, Mr. Beefo!

I'm Captain Man, you probably know me

as Captain Man! Dude, I love beef,

and I love you 'cause you make the best beef!

Wow, even your hand smells like beef!

You must have been touching beef earlier!

Were you? - Uh--

[tires squealing]

- Hi, here I am!

- Well, our ride's here!

Hop on, boys!

- Okay, sure! - Thanks!

- To-o-o-o-o, my beefery!

- To his beefery!

- [giggles] Yeah.

- Oh, I don't know if you should drive up stairs.

- Angus can do whatever he wants!

Oh, I can't believe we're here!

Look at that! - I see it!

- You see that, over there?

- Yeah, I see it! - Oh, man,

[babbling]

[sweeping music]

- Now, roll up

for the magical beefery tour!

- Wow. - We're in!

- We're in the beefery!

- Whoa!

Oh man, it's the French fry forest!

- Yeah, and look!

Bun bushes!

[cows mooing]

- Whoa! - Are those cows

making milkshakes?

- They sure are!

- Cool! Hey, Captain Man!

Check out- check out the--

Hey, where'd Captain Man go?

- Look!

[cow mooing] - Right on!

[gulping]

Mm!

Mm-- Oh, sorry!

I needed milkshake in my mouth!

Oh, this is so awesome!

Oh, this is the best day of my life!

- And that there's our ground beef river!

- Whoa, nice beef fountain!

- I've never seen so much meat!

- Yeah, who wants to get out and smell

that wet beef?

- Me! I do! Me!

[babbling]

[sniffs deeply]

Oh, yes!

So odoriferous!

- Uh...

Whoops!

- Watch out, you're gonna hit--

He hit him! Captain Man!

- Oh, I'm sure sorry

that happened.

- [gasping]

[struggling, grunting]

Kid, help!

I'm sinking into the wet beef!

- Okay, just hang on!

Mr. Beefo, quick!

We gotta help Captain Man!

- Nah.

- Nah?

- I think we'll just whip off

these disguises!

Now!

- Frankini!

- That's right, Kid Danger!

And now, I--[gasps]

Goomer! You were supposed

to whip off your wig and glasses!

Not your pants!

- Ooh.

Uh, look!

It's me, Goomer!

Without my pants!

- I will literally give you $

to put your pantsback on.

- Hey! [stammering]

So somebody help me out of this swirling beef!

- Okay, Frankini.

What's this about?

- It's about me!

Getting more views than ever before!

- Tell him how!

- By letting the whole word

watch me eat a hamburger!

Made out of Danger meat.

Kid, Danger meat.

Ha-ha-ha!

- [grunts]

- Wrong, Frank-weenie!

Heh, nice.

You're gonna get zero views,

'cause Captain Man and I are gonna-- Ah!

All right, what is this?

Seriously? This is a curve ball

I did not expect! Put me down!

- No. Goomer,

get the camera ready for my livestream.

It's time

to make my streams come true!

[humming] Hmm?

- Are you ready?

- No!

I can't find my lip balm!

I need my lips to be "mwowst!"

- Okay!

I'll help youfind it!

- No! Don't dump out my stuff!

- Oh!

- Kid, I don't-- I don't think

I can tread beef much longer!

- But--

But I can't get down!

[gasps] Wait!

I know!

I'm gonna use:

Moogle Translate!

- Oh, yeah! Ha-ha!

Kid, you're brilliant!

- Okay, okay.

Uh, "translate."

"English." "Cow."

- Say phrase to translate.

- Help, my friend, Captain Man,

is in a river of beef.

Please, pull him out.

Translate. Okay, okay.

Uh, moo!

"Mleuh!"

Captain Man! - Moo?

Yes! M-you!

- [moos]

- Sorry for the delay, Kid Danger!

I hope you didn't mind,

hanging around!Ha-ha!

- [guffaws]

You're a regular Amy Schumer!

- Just start the livestream.

- Yes, my lord.

- Hello, world!

It's your very own Frankini!

Coming to you live from Beefos Beefery!

Now hurry, tell every single person

you know to watch. This. Livestream!

Because I, Frankini,

am gonna show you how to make

and then eat, a Kid Danger Burger!

- Uh! - [nefarious laughter]

- Now, it's time

to lower Kid Danger

into the super scary

meat grinder!

[dramatic music]

- Ah!

Oh, no!

I'm gonna "meat" my doom!

Ah! That pun was unintentional!

Uh-- uh!

- Hurry up, you stupid cow!

- [moaning in fear]

- Oh, whee!

I already have million viewers!

Oh it warms my heart to know that you people

are so sick!

- [grunting]

Yeah! - No, no, no!

No, please don't!

- Oh, no! Uh,

come on, cow!

Use your back legs to double-kick me

in the spine, upwards towards Kid Danger!

- [moos]

- Ah!

I'm coming for you, Kid!

Whoa! [grunts]

[babbling, screaming]

[both gasping] - Captain Man!

[all screaming]

- Oh, my Goomer!

What's happening to my meat grinder?

- Oh, see?

Captain Man is indescribable.

- Indestructible!

[all screaming]

- [groans]

Where'd the meat grinder go?

- Um, part of it's

in my shoulder. Ow.

- And look! Here's another part of it

in my gut!

- Well, it serves you two right,

for-- Kid Danger! Where's Kid--

- [shrieks] - [groans]

- Here I am!

- Cool, great. Get off me.

- Well, we succeeded again.

- Yeah!

But, I wonder what happened

to the real Angus T. Beefo?

[door creaks]

[both gasp]

- Looking for the real Angus T. Beefo?

Well, you won't find him here.

Angus passed on.

Over a hundred years ago.

- P-passed on?

- Uh, [laughs]

lady, if Angus T. Beefo's been gone a hundred years,

then who runs this factory?

- What factory?

[cackling]

I'm gone.

- But-- where--

Where'd the factory go?

[horse snorting]

- It was all an illusion.

[chimes ringing] [horse whinnies]

[both babbling]