- Abby said you wanted me.
That's right.
I thought that it was about time
we got rid of some of this junk.
'It's amazing how it piles up
over the years, huh?'
What do you want me to do?
Well, uh, first put
the ball down.
Then I want you to go
through all these boxes
and see if there's anything
worth keeping?
Oh, my gosh.
Wait a minute.
That's my first suit.
Do you know that?
Listen, I think
I'll set this aside.
Oh, that's the tie
I was wearing..
...the day I met your mother.
Gotta keep that.
You know that hat,
that's the hat
that I bought
the day David was born.
How amazing the way all
these stuff is still here.
I'll just put this aside.
Dad, why are you saving
all that stuff?
Oh, I don't know.
- Nostalgia, I guess.
- Nostalgia?
That's remembering how things
were once upon a time.
'Some day, you'll know
what I mean.'
- I think I already do.
- You do?
Yeah, nostalgia is remembering
when I had the day off
to play football.
[theme song]
♪ There's a magic in
the early morning we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles
on everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ Oh eight is enough
to fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days like
bright and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled
by the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[groans]
I can't figure it out.
I don't know what's happening.
Oh.
I don't know..
Oh, is it? Oh.
Abby. Abby!
It's okay. It's okay.
Wake up, wake up.
- 'Oh, where-where?'
- I'm here.
Where?
Who? Oh.
- Abby, you're home.
- I've been home.
Who do you think you've been
stealing the covers from?
Oh. No.
Not in my dream.
You were gone.
- Gone where?
- I don't know.
It was either Caltech
or Oxford University.
That's a very impressive dream.
That was a bad dream.
You were living
in a dormitory, co-ed
and I couldn't find
which room you were in.
It was awful.
Living in this house
is kinda like
living in a co-ed dormitory.
You always find my room.
- Sure, but you know dreams.
- Hmm.
Must have been
that banana pudding I ate.
Are you sure it isn't my new
schedule that's bothering you?
No, no, it was
the banana pudding.
I want you to get your Ph.D.
as soon as possible.
But, Tom, I really will have
to be away a lot, you know.
We've been all through
that now, you..
It would take years for you
to get a Ph.D. part-time.
You deserve to focus in
on your goal full-time and..
...and I'm all for it.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, I said so, didn't I?
[doorbell rings]
- The doorbell?
- At : in the morning?
I should've known. You see,
it's not just the pudding.
This whole house
has gone bananas.
[doorbell rings]
- Who is it?
- 'It's Joannie, dad.'
(Joannie)
'I forgot my key.'
I'm sorry, dad.
Oh, what are you
doing out so late?
[yawns]
The improv group I met, you know
we really got going tonight.
I lost track with time.
Wait a minute. I wanna talk
to you about what time it was--
[yawns]
I know, I know.
Listen, I'm really b*at, dad.
Can't we talk tomorrow--
But I don't get
to see you anymore.
Now, wait, let's talk
about it at dinner tonight
and catch up on things.
Oh, I can't, dad.
I'll be at rehearsal then.
Oh, well, then how about
breakfast tomorrow morning?
Oh, I'd love to, dad, really,
but see, the improv group
I'm working with,
we're gonna work late again
tomorrow night
and I'll be pooped.
'I'll be sleeping in breakfast.'
Well, I'm glad somebody sleeps.
My, you're up early.
I wanted a sh*t at the bathroom
before rush hour.
You know, I know my eyes
aren't focusing yet
but, uh, how come
I don't recognize you?
Well, maybe
it's because I'm dressing
for another job interview.
For what? A head librarian?
No, a receptionist
at a stock brokerage.
What do you think, dad?
Do you think it's too plain?
Plain? Nothing.
It's downright grim.
Oh, good.
That's just what I wanted.
I'm tired of being hired
as just a pretty face.
I'm changing my image.
Why does everything
in this house have to change?
[sighs]
- Abby, you're not sleeping.
- Uh, no.
I'm, uh, well, I'm too jittery
and I figured
since I was awake anyway
I'd, I'd just start organizing
my first full-time school day.
Oh, yes. That's a good idea.
Item one, more sleep.
Well, actually, Tom, item one
on my list was groceries.
You're going shopping at :
in the morning?
No, I was wondering if you
would mind going after work.
'See, my classes run too late.'
Oh, sure. No problem.
Oh, thanks, and could you
take care of the cleaning?
Oh, yeah, that's right, I have
to get my, uh, suit cleaned
for the dinner party
Thursday night.
Oh, Tom, about the dinner party,
I'm not gonna be able to go
because my discussion section
meets
for the first time that night.
- Do you mind?
- No, I guess not.
That's alright.
Don't worry about it.
You just, uh, take care
of your studies.
- I'll, I'll, I'll manage.
- Oh, thanks.
You're being so understanding.
I'm so excited. I'm finally
going after what I wanted.
I'm going down for some coffee.
Do you want some?
- Uh, no, thanks.
- Okay.
I'm finally going
after what I want.
- 'I was first.'
- 'I was here first.'
(Tommy)
'Forget it. What do you mean?
You've never--'
(Mary)
'Tommy, I've got hospital rounds
in exactly one hour, okay?'
I don't care. I've gotta gas up
the van before I go to school
and those lines are m*rder*d.
Well, while you guys are arguing
'how about
if I use the bathroom?'
- 'I never--'
- 'No.'
Hold it!
What's going on out here?
I'm trying to get some sleep.
Mary is trying to pull
a rank again.
Dad, I have hospital rounds
in an hour.
Well, then draw straws.
Pitch pennies. Throw darts.
I don't care how you settle it,
but do it quietly.
I'm trying to get some sleep.
Nicholas, what are you
doing up so early?
Who can sleep
when his father is yelling?
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
Uh, is Miss Chovick in?
I'm here for a job interview.
Ah, darn, and I was hoping
you're gonna buy
a few million shares
of something from me.
- Well, maybe next time.
- Yeah.
That is if I get the job
from Miss Chovick.
I hope you do, Miss, uh..
- Uh, Nancy, Nancy Bradford.
- I'm Fletcher Patterson.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Uh, well, I guess
I better Miss Chovick.
Uh, her office
is around to the right.
- Thank you.
- Be seeing you later.
- Okay.
- I hope.
[knock on door]
Come in.
- Miss Chovick?
- 'Yes.'
Hi, I'm Nancy Bradford.
I'm here
for the receptionist job.
Ah, yes.
Please have a seat.
Thank you.
I've already looked
over your application.
Everything seems pretty good.
The one thing I'm curios about
is the number of jobs
you've had.
'You seem to have
done everything'
'from pumping gas
to singing telegrams.'
Well, you know how it is.
I didn't wanna get into a rut.
Clearly, but you do understand
that if we hired you,
we'd want you to stay around?
- At least until lunch.
- Oh, I will. I promise.
Believe me,
I'm through changing jobs.
Good, we'd hate to see
a lot of training go to waste.
What I'd really like to do
is work my way up
into something more responsible
as soon as I can.
Nancy.
Yes.
Being a receptionist
is a responsible job.
You represent the company
and you're the first person
our clients see.
'So you have to make
a good impression.'
I will. It's just that
I wanted to let you know
that I can do other things
if I get the chance.
Okay, we'll give you a try.
Oh. Thank you.
Can you report tomorrow at
- : in the morning?
- That's right.
We have to be at our desks when
the market opens in New York.
- Yes, of course.
- Fine.
Now before I go over your duties
I have a suggestion to make.
You're a lovely girl.
Don't hide it.
Why didn't you try some
eye makeup and some lipstick?
And you might do something
different with your hair.
'I think
you're gonna be surprised'
'how attractive you'll look.'
Dana!
Dana!
Sir?
Dana, how many times
do I have to tell you
to keep the drawer
full of paper?
- I-I just filled it up.
- 'Oh, really?'
Well, then we have
paper-eating termites.
Mr. Bradford,
don't you remember you asked me
'to move the paper drawer
down one?'
Oh, yes,
of-of course, I remembered.
It's just that from now on,
when you carry out my orders
please tell me about it first.
Oh, of course.
How could I be so efficient?
[clears throat]
Uh, listen, uh,
you wanna talk about it?
- Talk about it?
- Yeah.
About why you're so cranky
this morning.
I'm not cranky.
And if I am cranky..
Well, you'd be cranky too
if you were aroused
'from a sound sleep repeatedly
by ringing doorbells'
and bathroom arguments
and Abby making out her list.
Oh yeah, I know that Abby.
She always made out noisy lists.
What lists?
Chores. My chores.
Today is the first day that
she's going to start studying
for her Ph.D. full-time.
Aww.
That's why you're so upset.
- Who said I'm upset?
- Hey, listen, nobody, nobody.
I'm sure you always drink
three cups of coffee at once.
You know, if there's one thing
I hate, it's insight
especially in a secretary.
Sorry, it's a burden
I have to live with.
Anyway, I'm not upset.
I am concerned.
Well, maybe I am upset.
For the next two years,
Abby is gonna be
totally involved
in her studies.
What is this going to do
to our family life?
What's it gonna do
to our, our..
Oh, never mind.
Well, wish her luck.
Also, wish me luck.
Gonna be a long semester.
Especially around this office.
- Hi.
- What's wrong?
- Oh, I got a job.
- What's wrong with that?
- Everything.
- Oh, I know what you mean.
The money and the independence,
it's such a bummer.
No, it's not that.
It's, it's just that I'm back
on the same old merry-go-round.
All they want to hire
is a pretty face.
You're sure the one
to give it to them.
- Um-hmm.
- What kind of job is it, Nance?
- It's a receptionist.
- Yeah?
I mean, I was hoping
I could work my way up
into a managerial position.
Now all I can work my way
up to is an old receptionist.
Oh, no. I bet that's not true.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, wha..
You know why don't you learn
something about their business?
You know, impress them.
And the more you know,
the more likely they are
to promote you to something
more responsible.
- Do you really think so?
- Sure.
Okay. It's just uh..
How can I learn
about the stock market?
Stock business, huh?
I suppose you could start
at the library.
- Library.
- Yeah, the library.
Remember the library?
- Come on, I'll drop you by.
- Okay.
You'll prove to him
you're a go-getter, right?
- Joannie, I am a go-getter.
- Of course.
Anybody here?
Isn't anybody home?
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Do you need some help?
- Oh, thank you.
Who said chivalry was dead?
Well, how was your first day
as a full-time scholar?
Oh, it was exhausting.
My only goal right now is just
a nice, long soak in a hot tub.
Hey, what is this?
(Abby)
Oh, it's not blood, is it?
That's exactly what it is.
Anybody home?
Well, Tom, there, there's more
blood going up the stairs.
[Nicholas groaning]
- Oh.
- Nicholas, what happened?
- Well, I kinda got in a fight.
- A fight?
- Well, how bad is it?
- Uh, it's just a bloody nose.
Oh, no. Look at the eye.
Well, it doesn't seem to be too
bad. Does it hurt very much?
Yeah, but I didn't cry
or nothing.
Well, that was brave of you.
Yeah, I guess so, but
it wouldn't do any good anyways.
I need more ice.
What do you think
he meant by that
"It wouldn't do
any good anyway?"
I think he means that there was
no one home to cry to.
Look, Elizabeth,
this isn't just any old game.
It's the eliminations
for the round robins.
Now the winner goes
to the sudden-death playoffs.
Would you give me a break?
I've been waiting to see
this movie all week.
Wait, wait, I have the TV
in exactly
one minute and sixteen seconds.
- For what, a fashion parade?
- No, Wall Street ups and downs.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
What are you watchin' that for?
Because I'm trying to learn all
I can about the stock market.
It's for my new job.
(Tommy)
'But you're just
a receptionist.'
So? I have a brain, too,
you know.
And I'm tryin' to work
my way up the ladder.
Well, I hope
it's a short ladder.
That way she can climb it
before she gets fired.
Laugh if you want,
but I'll have, you know
Bernard Baruch
started on the park bench.
(Elizabeth)
'Who's Bernard Baruch?'
Why don't you go
to the library and find out?
(man on TV)
'And now
today's stock market report.'
'Baiting was heavy this week'
'but Dow Jones remain firm
and trades average, slightly..'
You're acting
like I'm responsible
for Nicholas' bloody nose.
No, don't be ridiculous.
All I'm saying is that
somebody should've been home.
Poor little Nicholas, he was
trying so hard to be brave.
Come on, it was just
a bloody nose.
I mean, nine times out of ten,
that's not fatal.
But suppose he had come home
and he was really hurt.
- What then?
- The point is he didn't.
I-I'm really shocked, I..
This isn't like you!
Look, I just refuse to feel
guilty over something
that I had no control over.
Now what are we
really arguing about?
I don't know. All I know
is I don't want anything
like this to ever happen again.
Well then, I suggest
that you talk to the kids
and find out who's available
to be home in the afternoons
to stay with Nicholas.
With everyone running around
doing their own thing
I wouldn't know
where to find them.
That's easy. You just
stake out the bathroom.
Oh, Mary, good.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Could you make it
a quick minute?
Dad, I gotta get
to the hospital.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's about Nicholas.
I don't want him home alone
in the afternoons.
So I was wondering if you could
do your studying here
instead of at the library?
Oh, dad, I-I'd love to.
You know that,
but I'm attending a series
of pathology demonstrations
every afternoon.
- Every afternoon?
- Uh-huh.
See, it's a series
and if I miss out
on one of the demonstrations,
well, I'll lose my priority
and I'm gonna miss out
on all the popular organs.
- Popular organs?
- Right.
Well, see,
instead of a brain or a heart
I'll end up with a gall bladder,
spleen or something.
Mm-hmm. Oh.
Dad, the series is optional
but well, Dr. Messier,
she's the best in her field
and I just,
I would hate to miss out.
Yes, well, your education
comes first.
- I'll try to get somebody else.
- Oh, oh, thank you, thank you.
Muah. Love you. Goodbye.
Uh, Mary, would you
do me a favor?
Don't bring home any
of your popular organs, okay?
Oh, Tommy,
I'm glad I caught you
before you emptied
the refrigerator.
Oh, I'm just making a snack
for the band, dad.
- We gotta eat, you know.
- Uh, yes, of course.
But what are we?
The Bradford Catering Service?
Well, go ahead.
Since you've already started it
there's no point in stopping.
What was it that you wanted
to talk to me about, dad?
Oh, yes, that, that,
it's about Nicholas.
Now he need someone to look
after him in the afternoons.
I'm sorry, dad, I can't. I've
got band practice every day.
I mean, we're practicing
for a big dance.
I can't let the guys down.
You know how it is.
Yes, of course.
You can't let the guys down.
- Oh, hi, Elizabeth.
- Hi, dad.
Uh, listen, Elizabeth,
I was wondering--
Oh, look, dad, I've got
classes every afternoon.
But how do you know
what I was going to say?
Bad news travel fast
around here. Catch you later.
But you're,
you're eating apple.
Oh, the, I..
- How'd it go?
- Oh, it didn't.
Nobody's got any time to spare
for Nicholas or anybody else.
You mean everybody's busy?
What about Nancy?
Oh, she has that new job
for a week, anyway, at least.
And Joannie is doing that play
called "Fruit Salads."
- She plays a tragic orange.
- Oh, that's a naval idea.
- I didn't hear that.
- I'm sorry.
And Susan's
at the day care center.
What about Susan?
I mean, the day care center.
'Nicholas could spend
his afternoons with Susan'
'at the day care center.'
Oh, I don't know. I don't
think she'd wanna do that.
Why not?
I mean, Merle's on the road.
Maybe she would like
the company, huh?
I don't know.
Well, we've run out
of resident Bradfords.
It has to be Susan.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Oh, well, sure, dad.
I understand. I'd love to help.
You mean you'll take Nicholas?
Oh, well, yeah.
Why are you so surprised?
Oh, well, it's just that
it's been so long
since I've heard a yes.
I forgot what it sounded like.
Well, that's wonderful. Hmm.
Well, uh,
now that that's settled
'uh, how about coming over
for dinner tomorrow night?'
Oh, dad, I-I'd love to,
but I'm sorry, I just can't.
- Maybe some other time?
- Oh, yeah, sure, alright.
Anytime. I mean,
uh, just come over.
You don't even
have to call first.
Uh, well, goodbye.
These days, this house
is full of empty chairs.
- Oh, hi, Miss Chovick.
- Hello, Nancy.
- Would you like some coffee?
- Oh, yes, I would.
- How's it going?
- Well, fine, I guess.
I've been getting good reports
about you from the brokers.
Oh, really? Yes, I guess
I do pour a mean cup of coffee.
No, seriously.
They really like you.
They say that you're
the prettiest receptionist
we've ever had.
Is there something wrong
about that?
No, I guess not.
It's just that
I've been trying to learn
all I can
about the stock market.
And I ask questions
and everything
but nobody takes me seriously.
They think I'm just
the pretty receptionist.
- Want some friendly advice?
- Sure.
Buy some stock.
- Real stock?
- Sure.
Let them know
that you mean business.
Yes, but that takes
lots of money.
Um, not really,
you could open an account
for as little as say, $.
- Three hundred dollars?
- Save it up out of your salary.
- That could take months.
- Don't worry.
The stock market
will still be here.
But the question is, will I?
[indistinct chatter]
Why do I have to stay here?
I can take care of myself.
Because dad wants you here.
Yeah, but they're all just kids.
Nicholas, you're a kid, too,
you know.
I know,
but they're all so young.
Well, hotshot,
this is your big chance
to be the oldest
for a change then.
Set a good example.
Show them how
a grown-up kid of ten acts.
Right, if I can catch them
in between naps.
Well, come on, I'll introduce
you to one of the guys.
'Hi, Joey.'
- Hi.
- Come on down.
I want you to meet
my brother Nicholas.
Alright.
Well, I'll leave you two alone
to get acquainted.
Have fun.
Are you really Susan's brother?
Yeah, but I'm not
going here or anything.
I'm just here to set
a good example for you kids.
Well, what do you know
that we don't?
I don't know.
I'm just older.
How many fights you've been in?
One too many.
- You got a girlfriend?
- Are you kidding?
- Do you smoke yet?
- Of course.
- Why do you think I'm so short?
- Okay, follow me.
I found these..
...under the seat
of my mom's car this morning.
You wanna show me
how to smoke 'em?
I don't know.
They aren't my usual brand.
I don't believe it.
Nicholas kicked out
of the center, but what for?
I'm really sorry, Mr. Bradford,
but he was caught red-handed
showing the other boy
how to smoke.
When Joey's mother
picked him up
he was very sick
and she was pretty upset.
No, wait a minute,
there must be a mistake.
Nicholas knows better
than to smoke.
[coughs]
Yes, how do you know it was
Nicholas showing the other boy
and not the other way around?
Well, he is the oldest
and we never had this kind
of problem before.
I'm sorry, Mr. Bradford, but
I just can't take the chance.
[Nicholas coughs]
Alright, Nicholas, what have
you got to say for yourself?
Uh, I'll never smoke again
as long as I live.
Oh, if I live that long.
Nicholas has never gotten
into so much trouble before.
Uh, maybe we should hire
a sitter.
Oh, no, it's gone beyond that.
The real problem is,
Nicholas feels neglected.
He's crying out for attention.
Oh, Tom, you're blowing
all of this out of proportion.
Oh, I-I am, am I?
I'll tell you what I think.
I think that you've been
too busy to notice
what's going on
in this family.
We don't talk to each other,
we don't eat with each other.
Everybody is wrapped up
in their own thing.
Well, now Nicholas is becoming
a juvenile delinquent.
The whole family's
falling apart.
Tom, the family
is not falling apart.
We are simply going
through a transition.
Oh, we are? Well, to what?
I mean, we've lost something.
There's no more home life.
Nothing to remind us
that we are a family.
Why don't you just say it?
What's missing
is a mother, right?
Alright, yes.
I don't think you should
go to school full-time.
Well, Tom,
that's just not fair.
We both agreed that getting
my Ph.D. was a priority.
What do you want me to do,
go back to school part-time?
Frankly, I don't think
there's an alternative.
This is not a home anymore,
it's a hotel.
Well, you can't
blame that on me!
No, maybe I can't,
but I think that you have
a certain responsibility
to this family.
I mean, if you were
around here more often
maybe things would
get back to normal.
Especially Nicholas' behavior.
Well, that's just great.
By the time
I finally get my degree
it'll be time for me to retire.
Oh, come on,
it's not gonna take you
that long and you know it.
Tom, please.
I've worked so hard.
I don't wanna go backwards.
I think you have a certain duty
to this family.
Well, doing my duty means
postponing my degree
and you know it.
All I know is that
Nicholas needs a mother.
And you're the only one
he's got.
Oh. Hiya, Nicholas.
How are you feelin'?
Better. Can I tell you
what happened?
Hmm, I think I already know.
Well, you mean you're not
mad at me anymore?
No, no, I'm not mad at you.
You're doing the best you can
under the circumstances.
- I am?
- We gotta figure out something.
I mean, you can't be
just left alone
to grow up here by yourself.
Somebody has got to look
after you.
- Well, what about Tommy?
- Tommy?
[laughs]
He's never home.
Well, maybe I can just
hang around with him.
Oh, you mean instead of
Tommy staying home with you
'you could go places with him?'
That's not a bad idea.
Tommy should be old enough
for a little responsibility.
Dad, I'm not ready for
that kind of responsibility.
- But why not?
- I'm busy.
Uh, I've got band practice,
errands to run
um, people to talk to.
- And what about poor Nicholas?
- He can take care of himself.
Oh, yeah, like you did
when you were his age?
What would you have done
if David wasn't around?
I used to drive him crazy.
I'm surprised
he still talks to me.
You know somethin', Tommy?
I'm getting a little fed up
with your me-me-me attitude.
Now somebody has to
take care of Nicholas.
You have the most
flexible schedule
and the fewest commitments.
- But, dad--
- No, no, no more buts.
I'm not asking you,
I'm issuing an order.
Now you're gonna be
responsible for Nicholas.
He's your brother
and you're his keeper.
(Nancy)
'See? Now
this squiggly line proves it.'
You put your money
in the stock market
and then while you go
about your business
it works day and night
making more money for you.
Actually, what it is,
is capitalism in action.
Nancy, I don't know anything
about the stock market.
Yes, but I do.
I've been practicing
investments on paper.
So you mean you'd tell us
what stocks to buy
and when to sell them
and everything?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, you guys. Trust me.
'Really, you can't afford
to say no.'
I can,
unless they take pennies.
Well, actually,
I need about $.
Ooh, you just lost me. I need
all my money for college, Nance.
Me, too. Merle and I are on
a very tight budget, sorry.
I'm tapped until next semester.
Well, hey,
why don't you ask dad?
I already did.
He said he can't invest
in the stock market either.
Joannie's ad hoc.
And all of Tommy's money
goes into fixing the van.
Oh, you guys,
you were my only hope.
Oh, well. Sorry, Nance.
Gotta run.
Yeah, me, too. Bye-bye.
Mary, I know what it is.
They just don't think
I can do it.
They just don't wanna
see me prove myself.
Well, Nancy, you don't have
to prove yourself.
We're your family.
We love you for what you are.
Yeah, right.
Miss Dumb Blond of the family.
Mary, I'm just tired
of everybody putting me
in a neat, little box
labeling me Can't Hold A Job
Can't Add Two And Two,
Can't Do This, Can't Do That.
You know, Mary, I'm just
getting really tired of it.
Nancy, you know that it's not..
Forget it.
What happened?
Oh, Nancy's upset
because nobody's interested
in playing the stock market.
She thinks the only reason
is because we don't trust her.
Do you trust her?
With most things.
But with our money?
You got to admit, it's
a little hard to think of Nancy
as the wizard of Wall Street.
So it's true then.
You don't think she can do it.
No. I-I-I guess we don't.
Another Bradford bites the dust.
Abby, Abby, she wants $
to play the stock market.
Now what would you say?
Oh, I'd say, um,
for a dream, it's a bargain.
[rock music]
Nicholas, what are you
so happy about?
First time
I've ever been cruising.
We're not cruising. We're just
going to the music store.
Aren't we gonna hit
on some girls?
Hit on some girls?
Where'd you hear that?
I heard you and Danny
talking about it over the phone.
I'll watch my language.
I'll tell you what, Nicholas.
Why don't you just leave the
hitting on girls to me, okay?
Okay. Boy, that's a relief.
[knocks]
- 'Hi, Abby.'
- Hi.
- How's the Dow Jones today?
- You don't have to humor me.
I know how everybody feels.
Big joke, huh?
Nancy, I didn't mean it
that way.
I heard about what happened
and, um..
Well, will this help?
Abby, that's for the whole $.
- I know. I wrote it.
- Yeah, but..
When I asked dad,
he said he couldn't afford
to invest in the stock market.
Well, that's true,
but I have this, um
little personal account
for emergencies, remember?
Are you sure you wanna do this?
I mean, no matter
how careful you are
the stock market's
an awful gamble.
I'm not investing
in the stock market.
I'm investing
in the new Nancy Bradford.
- And that's a sure thing.
- Oh.
Thanks, Abby.
You don't know how much
this means to me.
Maybe I do.
Where do you think you're going?
Wherever you go.
Look, let's get
something straight.
These past few days,
we eat together
we sleep together
and we drive together.
Do you suppose
that just this one time
we can walk in separate doors?
- Sure. Whatever you say.
- Okay.
- Tommy.
- What?
I just didn't want you
to be lonesome.
Thanks, pal.
Oh, hi, uh, Mary.
Is, uh, dad or Abby home yet?
Uh, no. Let's see,
dad has a late business dinner
and I think
Abby's at night class.
They probably won't be home
till late.
Oh, how would you like to look
after Nicholas for me tonight?
[chuckles]
I can't, Tommy.
I'm going to see a film.
A film? Is that all?
What do you mean, is that all?
It happens to be a new film
on the diagnosis and treatment
of pyloric stenosis.
Ah, you don't wanna see
that one! The critics panned it!
[chuckles]
Good try, but no luck!
Bye now.
Oh, good you're home. I'm saved.
Oh, no, not for long I hope.
I'm late.
But who's gonna look after
Nicholas for me tonight?
Tommy, I've got to go to work
then I've got to go
to a rehearsal.
Ask Elizabeth.
Uh, don't tell me
you're going someplace too.
Well, yeah.
Shopping with Sandy. Why?
Well, who's gonna look
after Nicholas tonight?
I don't know.
I thought you were.
Yeah, but I've got a date.
A very heavy date.
That is, if I don't
have to look after him.
Well, look, I can't take him
with me.
They don't allow little brothers
in the dressing rooms.
Ah, but now
that's your problem.
I, hereby, pass you
the hot potato.
Tommy--
I'd love to discuss it further
but I got to get ready
for Cindy.
- Goodbye.
- No, come back here, Tommy!
Tommy, come back here.
Tommy, I can't go
with Elizabeth.
She's going shopping
for dresses.
Well, we all got to
make sacrifices, pal
and I've made my quota
for the day.
And, uh, don't forget
to get your books
out of the back
of the van, okay?
- Tommy?
- Yeah, Cindy.
Tommy, are you sure?
Would I lie to you?
Cindy, I would go steady
with you like that.
It's just that my religion
doesn't permit it.
Can't we just be friends, hmm?
Friends?
Well, close friends.
- 'Hey.'
- Oh!
Are you guys gonna watch
the movie or just kiss?
Nicholas, what are you
doing here?
I'm trying to watch the movie.
What do you think?
- Who's he?
- He's my little brother.
Look, I'll tell you what.
Here's some money.
Go to the snack bar
and get yourself some popcorn
and take your time.
- 'Tommy, no.'
- Why not?
I've got a little brother
his age.
It's dangerous for him to wander
around this place alone.
Oh, this is great.
Come on, Nicholas.
You can sit here.
Tommy will go get the popcorn.
Oh, and Tommy,
turn up the sound, will you?
[sighs]
No luck, dad.
I checked every high school
hangout I could remember
and there's no sign
of Tommy's van.
Thanks, David.
I really appreciate it.
You know, dad, uh,
maybe Tommy has some good reason
for keeping Nicholas
out this late.
Well, he better.
I just hope
Nicholas is with Tommy.
- Elizabeth wasn't even sure.
- Oh, take it easy, Tom.
- You're getting upset.
- Of course, I'm upset.
It was a big mistake to give
Tommy this much responsibility.
[door opens]
Maybe that's them.
This better be a good one.
Do you know what time it is?
Dad, I was out on a date.
Nicholas stowed away
in the back of my van.
And before I knew it,
it was too late.
Well, why didn't you bring him
home as soon as you found out?
Because I have a life too.
Dad, since I got stuck
with Nicholas
my social life has disappeared.
He totally disrupted
band practice.
'He made me the laughing stock'
of Freddie's Hamburger Drive-in
and then he broke up my date.
She actually kissed him
goodnight instead of me.
[chuckles]
Cindy kissed Nicholas?
(Tommy)
'I can't take it anymore.'
Dad, I may be his brother,
but I resign as his keeper.
Alright, that's enough.
You're off the hook.
- Well, let's get him to bed.
- Yeah, let me help.
- Tommy?
- No, it's David.
- What is it, sport?
- Cindy kisses kinda nice.
Boy, this has been
the worst week I ever had.
I mean, I got b*at up
and-and I flunked
day care center.
And-and now Tommy hates me
because I wouldn't go shopping
with Elizabeth.
It's been pretty rough on you,
hasn't it?
Yeah.
And-and why is everybody
acting so weird?
What do you mean?
Well, everybody's been
acting mean to each other
and, and..
Well, nobody wants me around.
What's going on?
Oh, Nicholas, this..
This family's just going through
some growing pains, that's all.
Well, if that's growing up,
you can keep it.
Don't you worry.
Tomorrow everything's gonna
be better, I promise.
Better get some sleep, huh?
We'll talk about it
in the morning, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Abby?
- Yeah?
Goodnight.
Night.
So what are we gonna do now?
I guess there's only
one answer left.
- You win.
- Well, don't worry.
Going back to school part-time
wouldn't be so bad.
No, I'm not going back
part-time. I'm quitting.
Here's the quote
you asked me for.
Oh, no.
It's gone down two points.
And still dropping.
I'm not gonna worry about it.
The profit report
is coming out tomorrow.
It-it'll go up again.
How can you be so sure
the profits will be up?
Because Sun Goddess Apparel
was a terrific line.
I mean, it-it sold
like hot cakes.
You mean, you based
your investment on that?
Of course.
When the profits are up,
the stock goes up.
Doesn't it?
Sweetheart, it doesn't
always work that way.
It doesn't? You mean
it could keep on dropping?
It could go right off the board.
- Oh, no, it can't.
- 'Why not?'
Because I can't lose that money.
It belongs to my stepmother.
Well, then you just learned your
first lesson about the market.
Don't invest money
you can't lose.
Sorry.
[sighs]
Dad, why is Abby so upset?
Oh, well, you know,
she's quitting school.
She's quitting school? Why?
Well, we had to do
something about Nicholas.
- She's quitting over that?
- Yes, but it was her decision.
She just felt like
being a mother again.
Oh, she felt that way.
I mean, you didn't influence her
at all, right?
Well, no, I admit that..
...I only wanted her
to go to school part-time
b-because I mean,
Nicholas is being neglected.
There's a lot of work
around this house
that's not being done.
So you came along
and casually laid
a big, fat guilt trip
on her, right?
Now wait a minute.
I had Nicholas to think about.
Come on, dad. Admit it.
You were thinking
about yourself.
I told you,
I was thinking about Nicholas.
Well, it just seems pretty funny
that when it comes time
to give up things, well,
well, Abby gives up everything
and you give up nothing.
And what about I gave up,
so Abby could go to school?
Like home-cooked meals
and someone to talk to at night.
Sounds to me like,
like you're the one
who's feeling
a little bit neglected.
That's ridiculous.
Dad, don't you see
you use Nicholas as an excuse?
I'm sorry, but well,
somebody has to tell you.
You can go on fooling yourself
if you want
but I think it was
awfully selfish of you
to hurt Abby like that.
Abby?
Uh, can we talk about this?
What's there to talk about?
I had a decision to make
and I made it.
But it's not that simple
and you know it.
You know,
when we got married, I..
...I knew that I was taking on
a big responsibility.
I mean, a whole family
all at once.
But I guess I never realized
I'd have to make
such a total sacrifice
of everything I wanted.
But all I want is a compromise,
not a sacrifice.
Tom, a compromise just isn't
gonna work in this case.
That's been made very clear.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
I mean,
it really doesn't matter.
Because Nicholas
shouldn't be made to suffer
because of my problem.
He needs a mother and..
...I'm the only one around.
Well, let's just
forget it, okay?
You should get some sleep.
[music on tape]
[all clamoring]
Tom, what are you doing?
Alright, alright, I apologize
but I-I had to call
a family meeting.
Unfortunately,
: in the morning
is the only time I can get this
whole family together at home.
Now if you'll just be seated,
I'll-I'll get on with it.
Dad.
[music stops]
Now..
You know, maybe some of you
have been too busy to notice
but we're having a problem here.
It became clear to me
when I tried
to get someone
to watch Nicholas.
'I discovered
that everybody is so involved'
with their own personal life
that they forgot they were
all part of a family.
Dad, we are not kids anymore.
Yeah, we've got lives
of our own too.
No, no, no,
just because we're independent
doesn't mean that
we have to become selfish.
I know, I know,
because I-I've been
the most selfish of all.
What do you mean, dad?
Well, I've been running around
griping that nobody will give up
any time for Nicholas and..
Actually, I wasn't that anxious
to give up any time either.
I didn't wanna give up
my time with Abby
so I forced her to make a choice
she shouldn't have had to make.
Abby, I wanted you to be home
with Nicholas because..
...I thought you could
take good care of me too.
But anyway, this family
still has a problem.
But as head of the family,
I'm going to solve it.
I want each of you to give up
one activity a week
'to watch over Nicholas, so Abby
doesn't have to worry about it.'
But, dad--
No, no, I don't want you
to give up anything
that I'm not willing to do.
I'm going to give up my tennis
every Thursday afternoon.
Well, I guess my pathology class
can do without me
one day a week.
Well, I guess I can volunteer
one day a week.
Yeah.
I guess I can dump
one of my play projects.
I mean, I wasn't too great
as a tragic orange.
There goes Monday afternoons
for me.
Well, I guess we can change
band practice one day a week.
Thanks.
Well, Nicholas, let me
be the first to tell..
Well, I guess we should
get him to bed, huh?
Let me give you a hand.
- Come on, slugger.
- Okay, we won't abandon you.
- Okay, little Nicky.
- 'Night.'
Goodnight, dad.
I forgot to tell you, I've, uh
I've added one more course
to my schedule.
A new class? Oh, no.
Oh, well, but i-it's
a home study course
and it's called Tom Bradford
and the first session
begins tonight.
- Oh, you know?
- What?
I think
I'm gonna like this class.
Lunch is packed,
so we're all ready.
Great. Nicholas!
Abby, you're just the person
I'm looking for.
Hmm.
Here's your $
and $ and cents profit.
Thank you so much
for believing in me.
- You mean your stock went up?
- It sure did.
- I guess I had a hidden talent.
- Yes.
I'm really proud of you, Nancy.
Oh, thanks, dad.
I'd like to also announce
I'm getting a new job.
Oh, but you were doing so well.
Why change jobs now?
I'm not changing jobs.
I'm moving up.
See, the people at the office
were so impressed
with my initiative
and common sense approach
'they decided to train me
as a cashier.'
- That's wonderful!
- Thanks.
Well, so I decided I'd celebrate
and take Nicholas to a movie.
We got a better idea!
Yeah, dad, he's gonna play
baseball with us.
- 'Right.'
- Oh, no, he's not.
He's going swimming with me!
Unh-unh, no, Tommy,
listen to me.
He doesn't wanna spend the day
with a bunch of girls!
[all clamoring]
See you guys later.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going, Nicholas?
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Tommy's friend Cindy is taking
me and her brother to the zoo.
See you.
[theme music]