[instrumental music]
Hi, Mary.
I'm glad I found you.
Hi, Nicholas.
You're going to be a doctor
maybe you can give me
the answer.
I can't give you any answers, if
you don't ask me any questions.
Well, it's kind of embarrassing.
Go ahead, just ask.
Why are boys boys
and girls girls?
"Why are boys boys
and girls girls?"
Sure picked a toughie.
- You give up?
- No.
No, no, I don't give up,
see, um..
What it has to do
with basically is, uh, glands.
- Glands?
- 'Right and, uh, hormones.'
Hormones, huh?
How?
Well, uh, it's really
complicated Nicholas.
Nobody really knows
all the answers
so let's just call it one of
the great mysteries of life.
I knew that before I asked.
- Mary?
- Yes, Nicholas.
I'm glad you decided
to become a doctor.
Well, thank you.
I sure wouldn't want
you as a teacher.
[sighs]
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ There's a magic ♪
♪ In the early morning
we've found ♪
♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪
♪ On everything around ♪
♪ It's a portrait
of the happiness ♪
♪ That we feel and always will ♪
♪ For eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪
♪ Oh we spend our days ♪
♪ Like bright
and shiny new dimes ♪
♪ If we're ever puzzled
by the changing times ♪
♪ There's a plate
of homemade wishes ♪
♪ On the kitchen window sill ♪
♪ And eight is enough ♪
♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪
[rock music]
[music continues]
[applause]
Okay. That's great,
thank you, fellas.
Thank you.
Okay, the next band to audition,
will be Gold Rush.
Gold Rush?
I've never heard of them.
Me neither.
Probably just some guys who
threw themselves together
at the last minute figuring
that bucks is easy bread.
- Don't worry about 'em.
- I'm not worried.
I mean, everybody knows
we've got
the hottest band in Sacramento.
Yeah. If we don't play at
the prom, nobody'll come.
Oh, who wants to dance
to a bunch of nobodies?
Yeah.
[crowd applauding]
Ernie? They're not even
nobodies. They're girls.
Can you believe that?
Why don't they give up before
they embarrass themselves?
Hey, we did it, man.
We won the audition.
- Alright, guys.
- That's great.
(Abby)
'Well, Janet,
I suppose you're wondering'
'why I called this meeting.'
- Something about David?
- No.
It's not about your husband.
And it's not about my husband.
It's just about the two of us.
- Just you and just me.
- What about us?
I'd like us to really get
to know each other better.
I-I thought we could
be more than just in-laws.
I felt that
we could be friends.
See the thing is,
every time we get together
we-we're surrounded
by this gigantic family
that we both married into.
Abby, you're absolutely right.
We deserve some time to
get to know each other.
There's no reason
that every thought
and talk we have,
has to be about the Bradfords.
What about us Bradfords?
Oh, Joannie, I thought
you left for work already.
No.
I've been dawdlin'.
- Dawdling?
- Yeah.
(Joannie)
'It's the fun form
of procrastination.'
I don't know,
it's gettin' harder and harder
to go down to that station and
spend eight hours being stifled.
Is it really that bad?
Oh, bad.
Let me tell you how bad.
[instrumental music]
[all applauding]
Amateur night.
Well, the judges
have to be polite.
Great.
Thank you, Gold Rush.
Well, as you can see, all the
judges think you're fantastic.
We want you to be the official
band for the winter prom.
- 'Alright!'
- 'Congratulations.'
- 'Thank you.'
- 'Thank you.'
But that's crazy. I mean, we're
four times better than they are.
Face it, Bradford.
These days with Charlotte
as student body president
it doesn't matter
how good you are.
Yeah, it's what sex
you belong to.
- Congratulations.
- Alright.
- 'Great'
- 'Thank you.'
(Charlotte)
'It was great, really.'
- Joannie?
- No dice?
No dice, I thought you
promised you weren't
gonna bring this up again for
at least another two months.
I know, Mr. Trout, but my step
mother and my sister-in-law said
that you secretly
want me to keep trying.
That you're testing
my persistence.
I'd rather test
your capacity to cool it.
Listen, Bradford, you bombed
with that documentary
you tried to get on camera,
after that bad experience
most people would realize
they're are not ready.
Well, that bad experience
just proves
that I'm not ready
for documentaries, that's all.
I would be great at something
that would use
my dramatic training.
I mean, I'll even start reading
the weather.
We don't need dramatic weather.
Well, h-h-how about a station
editorial, even a rebuttal?
How about putting
these in the files
and doing the job
for which you were hired.
(Ernie)
'Look at The Beatles. Guys!'
'The Stones are guys.'
Name me one great musical
group that wears dresses
and doesn't shave?
Well, expect for a few punk
bands, I can't think of any.
Right. Females belong
in the audience.
Well, maybe there's room
for a few chick backup singers.
But anything else
is pure uppitiness.
Yeah, don't they realize we
already have enough competition.
- Hi, men.
- Hi.
Well, you don't have to
growl at me.
Oh, I'm not growlin' at you,
just your gender.
What did my gender do?
Oh, wait, I get it.
You already got the message
from Christy Barnes.
No, what message?
(Elizabeth)
'That she can't go out
with you Friday night.
Why not?
Well, she decided to go out
for the boys basketball team
'and tryouts start Friday.'
You're pullin' my leg.
Nope. I'm just relayin'
her phone call.
[sighs]
- Boys basketball?
- They're taking over, Bradford.
They won't be happy till
they push us off the planet.
Nicholas!
- What's the big idea?
- What's wrong?
You know you can't
do that in this house.
But I have to practice.
Not inside.
Well, where else
do you want me to practice?
You know dad won't let me take
the chairs out of the house.
Nicholas, look,
you're jarring all the plaster
on the downstairs ceiling.
You're keeping certain
people from studying
and you could break the
chairs and or your neck.
Yeah, well, that's what
so exciting about hurdling.
Look, put the chair
back in the kitchen
and go run around the block.
Oh, and what do you
want me to hurdle?
- The cracks in the sidewalk?
- Nicholas, just do it.
Okay, okay.
Boys will be boys.
And grouches will be grouches.
[laughing]
Can you believe it?
Chrissie Barnes in knee pads.
I was almost in love.
Oh, women don't care
about love anymore.
What they want is
world domination.
Yeah, they're
into everything now.
I mean, they're in our music, in
our locker rooms, what's left?
Nothing's left, Bradford.
We wind up
third-class citizens.
Somebody's gotta draw the line.
You're right,
somebody's gotta stop
the women from
takin' over the world.
- I think it's too late.
- What?
But if you need any help,
just let me know.
(Abby)
'Tom, what's wrong?
Why are you getting up?'
(Tom)
'It's alright, Abby,
go back to sleep.'
'I think I hear Joannie.'
Joannie?
Oh, did I wake you dad,
I'm sorry. I..
It's alright,
I was waiting up for you.
Well, actually it wasn't up,
it was horizontal.
But I was listening
for your footsteps.
Oh, you were,
how sweet, thanks.
[sighs]
Such a hard day at work.
Jeffrey Trout turned me down
again for on camera work.
I think my whole education
is being wasted there, dad.
I know, Abby told me
she had a talk with you.
That's why I wanted to see you.
Oh, dad, Abby and Janet gave me
one-never-say-die lecture today
and, uh, I d*ed.
I couldn't take another one.
It's not a lecture,
it's a message.
What's this?
Civic Theater,
: p.m., Rankin..
[gasps]
Rankin Manheim?
That's right. Director of
Western Theatre Academy.
They're holding regional
auditions right here
they want you to try out.
Me? Oh, dad!
Oh, I don't believe it.
I send in that application
so long ago.
I forgot all about it.
Apparently Mr. Manheim didn't.
- Congratulations, Joannie.
- Oh, thank you, dad.
Do you know that W-T-A is
one of the best repertory
groups in the country.
New York directors scout
every performance.
Well, that's what you want.
That's what counts.
Oh, it is perfect.
Oh, I can quit
this dead-end job.
I'll be Broadway-bound.
Who needs you Jeffrey Trout,
who needs you?
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, you're late, Bradford.
What do you mean I'm late?
I've still got about eight
minutes before the first bell.
He's not talkin' about school.
You're late
for the planning session.
What planning session?
The one
we're almost through with.
The one for the counter att*ck.
Nobody said anything to me
about a planning session.
Well, we're tellin' you now.
You'll love it, Bradford.
Not so far.
Just listen.
The chicks are movin'
into everything right?
Student council,
music, basketball..
They inv*de every turf
we used to control.
Yeah, so tell me somethin' new.
So the only thing for us
to do is to inv*de their turf.
Yeah.
We don't just take it lying down
for ever, we counterattack.
We show them how it feels.
We go for the jugular.
Sounds good so far.
Oh, it gets better.
(Ernie)
'Right, now listen.'
The chicks b*at us out
as band for the winter prom.
So, we b*at them out
by electing a guy as prom queen.
A guy?
A guy.
You know that's
not such a bad idea.
Elect a guy as prom queen.
Now, that's what I call
affirmative action.
Told you you'd love it.
Well, who's the lucky guy?
Well, that's obvious, Bradford
we all took a vote
and we agreed unanimously.
You.
Me?
Prom queen?
We told you
you'd love the idea.
[instrumental music]
(Tommy)
'How many times
do I have to tell you, Ernie'
'I'm not runnin'
for prom queen.'
- 'Well, who else can we run?'
- You?
Wrong, Bradford,
I'm not the prom queen type.
Are you saying that I am?
I'm saying we can get
more votes with you.
You got the number
one requirement.
Name recognition.
Year after year, Central High
has been infested
with Bradfords.
Thanks a lot, Ernie, but I can't
just run on an infested name.
But you got other pluses.
Guys like it.
Chicks like you.
You got the right
image, Bradford.
Which I'll totally lose,
if I run for prom queen.
Run for what?
- Never mind.
- Prom queen.
Shut up, Ernie.
I thought that's what you said.
Prom queen?
Your brother here's
gonna make history.
Yeah, for the m*rder
of Ernie Field.
You guys pulling some kind
of prank or something?
Yeah, some kind of prank.
We've never been more
serious in our lives.
How can you be serious
about something so stupid?
(Ernie)
'How could you wanna be
a doctor?'
Oh, what does that have to do
with Tommy running
for prom queen?
If Mary can go after a man's job
why can't Tommy go
after a chick's job?
That is the most
chauvinistic thing
I've ever heard you guys say.
'I-I don't believe it.'
Are you saying that
fair isn't fair?
No, I'm saying that doctors
don't have to be male.
We're only saying that prom
queens don't have to be female.
That's it Bradford, tell her.
What gives you the
right to decide the rules
on sexual discrimination?
Because men have
been making the rules
for the last years
so we haven't had the chance.
Oh, really, well, take a look
around this house
and at school,
you've had all the chances.
Tommy, you flipped.
Well, maybe it's about time
woman had a flip-side change.
(Ernie)
'Terrific, Bradford. Terrific.'
I never heard a better
acceptance speech.
Yeah, well, somebody's
gotta carry the ball
before they freeze us
out of the game.
Thanks for talking him into it.
It needed a woman's touch.
(Joannie)
"Thou know'st the mask of night
is on my face.
"Else would a maiden
blush bepaint my cheek
"For that which thou hast
heard me speak tonight.
"Fain would I dwell on form.
Fain, fain deny what I've
spoke. But farewell--"
Wait, wait, a minute,
wait a minute.
I think I lost you
about two "fains" ago.
Oh, no, Nicholas,
don't interrupt me
when I'm remembering my lines,
just when I'm forgetting them.
Are you sure you can't get
no one else to do this?
Nicholas, look, this is a great
opportunity for you, you know?
I mean, you're learning
the art of prompting
and you're listening to some
of the most beautiful words
in the English language.
If this is English,
how come I can't understand it?
Well, see Shakespeare, um..
Nicholas, can we continue
this discussion later, huh?
- I mean, my career is at stake.
- Oh, wait a minute.
You mean, somebody actually
hires you to say this stuff?
It is not stuff, Nicholas.
It's Shakespeare.
Maybe to you
but to me it's stuff.
[exhales]
Smile, Bradford,
they give up to points
for the way each chick..
I mean, queen candidate smiles.
Why did I ever say I'd do this?
Because it's one
small step for man
and a great step for mankind.
Okay, fan out
and tack up posters.
Now, don't forget the gym
and the student council
bulletin board.
Ah, would you fellas mind
telling me what's goin' on?
Oh, good morning,
madam president.
You're just the person
we wanted to see.
- Here.
- What's this?
It's Tommy's
official application
for the prom queen election.
[laughing]
You've got to be kidding.
Kidding? Us?
Never.
Well, it's not very funny.
Well, actually I'd be happy
if nobody laughed.
We're just tryin' to
make a point, Charlotte.
What point?
Wait, are you sure all this
isn't just sour grapes
because we didn't
choose your group to play.
It started out that way
but it's different now.
Oh, really?
Look, would you do me
and the school
and yourselves a big favor?
Would you stop
being so ridiculous?
We'll stop when you stop.
[sighs]
Way to go, Bradford.
We'd never get
her vote anyway.
- Good to have you back.
- I beg your pardon.
Well, not really back here,
I mean, uh, back as my customer.
I remember seeing you
where I used to work
you used come in
with David Bradford.
I used to have the
biggest crush on him.
- Here's a nice table.
- Thanks.
- Do you go out with him a lot?
- Only when he asks me.
Oh, well,
then you must know Mary.
Do you know Mary?
Mary who?
(female #)
'Mary Bradford, David's sister.'
I've really missed her
since she started med school.
You know, I used to think if I
could make her my best friend
I'd get David interested in me.
- 'Didn't work.'
- Too bad.
(female #)
'Yeah, well, so then I started
palling around with Susan.'
- 'How is Susan these days?'
- Susan who?
Susan Bradford.
Braddock?
No, no, no, Bradford,
they're a great family
the father writes
a column for the Register.
(female #)
'I thought everybody in
Sacramento knew the Bradfords.'
I never heard of 'em.
Well, I'll tell you what, I just
finished reading his article.
It's all about his family,
I'll go bring it.
No, no, no, please, that's okay.
- Oh, no. It's no trouble.
- No!
It'll make your lunch.
It's hopeless.
I know Mrs. Braddock, I know.
- Who?
- Bradford, Sir.
Joan Bradford.
She probably made it up
to sound like Joan Crawford.
Well, let's get on with it.
Miss Joan Bradford, please.
Good afternoon, Mr. Manheim.
Uh, I just wanted to let
you know how honored I feel
that you've given me
this opportunity.
(female #)
Mr. Manheim appreciates
that Miss Bradford.
Would you mind bringing us up to
date on what you've been doing
since you sent in
this application?
Um, no.
Uh, right now, I'm in an
improvisation lab
that I helped organize.
Any professional experience?
Well, no, not exactly.
But I'm working in a related
field now and I'm saving money
to go to New York, where
I hope to turn professional.
That's why I really appreciate
this audition.
What are you going to do for us?
Um, Juliet's balcony speech
from Shakespeare's
"Romeo and Juliet."
Not again.
Somebody in Sacramento
must have a franchise.
Thank you, Miss Bradford.
We're ready when you are.
Okay.
[exhales]
[sighs]
"O, Romeo, Romeo!
Wherefore art thou Romeo?
''Tis but thy name
that is my enemy."'
[typewriter keys clacking]
Good afternoon, Tom.
[sighs]
Hey, good afternoon, Elliot.
Well, don't let me interrupt
the flow of genius.
No, you didn't interrupt, it
just stopped when you came in.
Oh good, good.
Tom, I just had to enquire
about Tommy.
Tommy?
Well, what about Tommy?
Oh, Tom, don't play
innocent with me.
I have access
to these things, you know?
My youngest niece is
the high school correspondent.
That's quiet some
school election
that Tommy's running in.
Tommy has entered an election?
Hasn't he told you, Tom?
Of course I can't say
that I blame him.
Oh, no, it's just that,
well, he's a very modest boy.
But I'm, I think it's wonderful
that he's running
for his school election.
Ah, little unexpected
but wonderful.
Tom, you must be joking.
No, I've always encouraged
my children to civic-minded.
To participate responsibly
in any level of government.
I just didn't realize
Tommy would be the one.
But then why not?
I mean, he has a lot
going for him.
I think that he could have
a terrific career in politics.
Yes, if he lives this one down.
Lives what down?
Tom, I know this must be
hard for you
I'm afraid it's always
the parent who's the last one
to suspect these tendencies.
You mean
his political tendencies?
No, Tom, I mean tendencies.
Your son is running
for prom queen.
Prom queen.
Good night.
Good night.
[chuckles]
"Parting is such sweet sorrow
that I shall say good
night till it be morrow."
Well, thank you.
(female #)
'Thank you Ms. Bradford,
you'll be hearing from us.'
- Thank you.
- 'Ms. Bradford?'
Yes.
I don't think we should
stand on ceremony, do you?
Uh, no, sir. I guess not.
(Manheim)
'If there's one thing I hate
it's empty ceremony.'
We have this antiquated
ritual in theatre.
You audition, we tell you,
you'll be hearing from us.
'It's a game, Ms. Bradford.'
Played by cowards.
You see the truth is,
after a performance like that
you would never
hear from us again
'and that is tragic.'
'Do you know why it is tragic?'
No, sir.
(Manheim)
'Because no one has
the decency or the courage'
to tell you the truth.
You're the victim of too much
courtesy and evasion.
You are nowhere near being
a professional, Ms. Bradford.
Well, I know that it needs
a lot of work, Mr. Manheim.
But I was very nervous and
if I could just do it again--
(Manheim)
No, child. Listen to me.
You have some rudimentary skill.
I see evidence
of some provincial training
but you lack conviction.
'There's no passion.'
'No fire.'
'Why t*rture yourself?'
'Stay with that job
you have or whatever it is.'
'Find a husband, have children.'
No!
Someday, you'll thank me
for this honesty
with all your heart.
Well, I tried.
Why can't they listen?
(Gillette)
When you were in kindergarten,
I bet you pulled pigtails.
Any way to torment the girls.
'Is that it, Bradford?'
No, Mr. Gillette,
it's a question of equal rights.
The men on this campus
are gettin' sick and tired
of reverse discrimination.
- Huh!
- Please, Charlotte.
You may refrain from further
expressing the opinions
of the student council.
'Explain yourself, Bradford.'
Well, if Charlotte can be
student body president
why can't I be prom queen?
(Gillette)
'Because Charlotte brought
a high sense of purpose'
and dedication
to her campaign.
She did not try
to make a bad joke
out of a cherished
high school tradition.
- This is no joke, Mr. Gillette.
- Isn't it?
Every high school in the city
is starting to laugh at us.
(Gillette)
'She's right, Bradford.'
I'm afraid your little prank
must come to an end.
I am officially tearing up
your application
to enter
the prom queen election.
I've checked the school bylaws
and it officially specifies that
all candidates for prom queen
must be girls
in acceptable academic standing
in the senior class.
Did you hear that?
- Girls.
- I heard him, Charlotte.
Okay, Mr. Gillette,
I get the picture.
Thank you, Tommy.
And thank you for coming in.
And let's see if this
can be last time we have
to face each other
until I bid you goodbye
and Godspeed at graduation.
That happy day.
[sighs]
Hey, hey,
what's the idea, Bradford?
- Gillette blew the whistle.
- Yeah, we heard.
Charlotte's been
blabbing all over school.
But don't take the poster down.
Ernie, it's over.
Wrong, Bradford,
it's just the beginning.
And look what Gillette just did
was perfect.
Don't you get it?
'You're a martyr now.'
I know,
I can feel the bruises. So?
So it doesn't matter
what Gillette said
about school bylaws,
he's wrong.
And the school constitution says
we can nominate by petition.
Yeah, we'll have
a-a write-in campaign.
It's about time the men
in this school
took a stand, right, guys?
- Right.
- Yeah.
Hey, give me that, Bradford.
They can't push us around.
Not the chicks
and not Gillette.
- Bradford for prom queen.
- Yeah, Bradford for prom queen.
(all)
Bradford for prom queen.
Bradford for prom queen.
Bradford for prom queen.
Bradford for prom queen.
Bradford for prom queen.
Bradford for prom queen.
(Nicholas)
'You wouldn't lie to me now,
would you?'
(Tommy)
'Nope, ask me
anything you want.'
Tommy, are you a sissy?
Uh, no, Nicholas,
I'm not a sissy.
And if anybody says so..
I'll slug him with a daffodil
when I'm prom queen.
Well, Kenny P. Landers
says you're a sissy.
He just doesn't understand.
I don't understand.
Well, look, you remember
the other day when you said
you'd like to help stop women
from running the world.
I did and I do.
Well, that's what
this is all about.
Oh, but how can you
being a sissy
'stop girls
from bossing everything?'
[sighs]
Nicholas
I am not a sissy.
This is
one of the toughest things
I've ever had to do.
Yeah, well,
when Kenny P. Landers
kids me about it,
it's tough for me too.
So, why do it?
Because the guys are behind me.
They need somebody
to lead the fight.
Besides that I'm not doing this
just for myself.
I'm doing this to stop
the discrimination against
the entire male sex.
Oh, I get it.
It's about sex.
I'm not supposed to
figure it out.
You, Joannie Bradford,
you couldn't possibly
ever work at a bank.
Why not?
I might as well face
the truth about myself.
Oh, I know it's upsetting.
But you've lost
auditions before.
And you kept trying
and you wound up with
even better roles.
Oh, that was college, dad
and local things.
I mean this is the real,
professional world
and the man who really
knows about it says that
I'm just not good enough.
Joannie, when you
get a diagnosis like that
you ask for a second opinion.
[sighs]
That was a second opinion.
What does that mean?
Mr. Trout turned her down
the day before yesterday
for a job on camera.
[sighs]
If I could laugh, this would
really be funny you know.
I thought I was gonna go in
and sweep Rankin Manheim
off his feet with my talent.
Then Jeffrey Trout's
turn down wouldn't matter.
Well, did Mr. Trout
know that you
failed the audition?
No, I didn't tell him about it.
Joannie, look so what?
You got two negative opinions.
Right now, dad and I are giving
you two positive opinions.
No. We might as well admit it.
I've been living
in a fantasy world.
Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna
look for a sensible job
in a sensible field
where you don't need any talent.
No, tomorrow
you're gonna pick up the pieces.
You're gonna start rebuilding
your dream.
You've had it too long
ever since you were a kid.
Playing in the kindergarten
pageant
when you played the reindeer.
- Come on, you can't quit now.
- Quit what?
- Tommy.
- What're we talking about, dad?
I have to talk to you,
right now.
Would you excuse us
a second, girls?
Fine, only in the study.
Dad's right, you know.
[scoffs]
Is he?
I mean, how would you feel?
If you're
most respected professor
someone who's honest to you
had to trust
said you'd never make a doctor.
I'd feel exactly
like you do right now, Joannie.
But I'd hope that
when the pain went away
I'd realize that dad's right.
You've gotta keep trying.
Dad, I can't just quit.
Well, you certainly
can't run for prom queen.
Do you know what people
will think?
They're already thinking it.
That's right. So, get out, fast.
Get out and quit, I mean
how come Joannie
gets one lecture
and I get the exact opposite?
Because Joannie's situation
is entirely different
than yours.
- Is it?
- Yes.
Joannie has been
temporarily discouraged
from achieving something
that she's wanted all her life.
Something she places
a great value on.
Justice is of great value to me.
Justice?
Dad, I don't believe in
reverse discrimination.
Oh, now, wait a minute,
hold it.
Are you saying
that this whole prom queen
prank is some kind of a protest?
Exactly.
Equality should apply
to everybody.
I read that in your column once.
But my column was
about the women's movement.
But doesn't that apply
to the men's movement too?
Oh.
So, then this
isn't about your being
prom queen per se.
No. It's about
fair is fair per se.
I see. Well, alright then.
But, I mean, heaven forbid,
suppose you should win
you're not gonna
wear a dress, are you?
No, actually I thought
I'd be making a stronger
political statement
if I grew a beard.
But unfortunately my whiskers
don't feel that strongly
about politics.
You know, this puts
the whole thing
in a different perspective.
Then you approve?
Oh, well, yes.
I mean, what else can I say
except, uh...go to it, son.
I guess.
Hi, David, this is Abby.
Is Janet there?
Thanks.
Hi, listen, I think I've got it.
Jogging.
Well, see, there'll be
no family
no old friends,
we'll just be moving targets.
We can talk about anything
we want.
[birds chirping]
This is a terrific idea
of being alone.
[laughing]
Well it's just too bad
it didn't work now, isn't it?
Yeah, but David says
the four of us just never
get together by ourselves.
[grunts]
- Race ya.
- Okay.
And it was on the
o'clock news.
Oh, please, don't tell me.
They sh*t his poster.
Tommy Bradford for prom queen.
Then they interviewed
the student body president
who compared Tommy unfavorably
with bigamists
and white slavers.
- Wonderful.
- Yeah.
You know,
it was on Joannie's station.
Couldn't she have
told the news department
to treat with a little dignity?
Yeah, Joannie has
her own problems down there.
Hey, Bradford.
You're early.
Just couldn't wait, Mr. Trout.
If I don't do it now
while I've talked myself
into it, I never will.
Hold it..
I know exactly
what you're gonna say.
The research department
is gonna have to get along
without your services, right?
- What?
- It's a typical pattern.
Ambitious kid sweeps in here.
Bright, talented, attractive.
Finds out she can't take over
the news room in three
or four days, so she quits.
How much notice do I get?
A week?
- A day, huh, huh?
- No, Mr. Trout.
Mr. Trout,
I'm not leaving this job.
- You're not?
- No.
If I left it now I'll have to
resign from my family.
Good.
I'd miss you, Bradford.
I know.
I make great coffee.
No, you make lousy coffee.
So, what is this?
Well, I thought
I'd ask you one more time.
Is there anything that I can do
that would let me use
my professional training
on camera?
I think I will tell you
one more time.
No.
I shoulda known.
(Trout)
'Bradford.'
Yes.
Ask me again sometime.
I've been known to weaken.
Now, as you know
we've had nine students
nominated for prom queen.
Including one
by the unprecedented
procedure of petition.
[audience cheering]
Please, save your applause
until all the nominees
have been introduced.
[clears throat]
To continue..
'Now in order to help
you make the most intelligent'
decision in your voting.
Your student council has chosen
to conduct a preliminary test
of each candidates'
required skills.
You think she's up to something?
(Charlotte)
'In this fashion'
you can select
as your prom queen
that candidate who best displays
the queenly attributes.
Poise, grace, and beauty.
And here to first execute
the required
test of those attributes
is Mary Louis Sorenson.
She's up to something.
[audience applause]
[piano music]
[laughing]
[audience applause]
Uh, madam president.
Point of order.
I think those requirements
are totally sexist.
On the contrary,
we are merely giving each
candidate equal opportunity.
And to prove that, here is
prom queen candidate number two.
- Tommy Bradford.
- Alright.
[piano music]
(male #)
'Oh, yeah, Bradford, alright.'
[audience cheering]
[laughing]
[indistinct cheering]
[piano music]
[all laughing]
Bradford.
Um, oh, Mr. Trout, could you
give me another half hour?
I've gotta look up a few more
facts and then type my notes.
Why don't you just
put that stuff away
and ask me once again
if there's any work
you could do on camera.
Okay.
Mr. Trout, is there anything
I can do on camera?
As a matter of fact, Bradford..
...there just might be.
Right. Ha.
Well, that's nice of you
to let me keep practicing.
Bradford, you're not listening.
How would you like to handle my
afternoon movie break
interview tomorrow?
Governor's asked me to go
on a press junket
I can't think of anybody else
around here willing to work
so hard on such short notice.
Mr. Trout, are you..
You're-you're really saying
what you're saying?
Jeffrey. To one camera
colleagues I'm Jeff.
You do mean it?
[laughing]
Oh, thank you, Mr. Tr..
Um, uh, Jeffrey.
Oh, I'm so excited,
I can't think what--
You don't have to think.
It's right up your ally.
That's another reason
why I decided
to give you your big break.
All you have to do
is have a friendly conversation
with a visiting fireman
about your favorite subject.
His name is Manheim.
'Rankin Manheim.'
[intense music]
[instrumental music]
Do you realize
how embarrassing it was for us
when you were waltzing
with Mick Mascouri?
Tell me about it.
You know, Bradford..
...I'm beginning
to think your running
for prom queen was not exactly
the world's greatest idea.
I'm kind of sorry
you even thought of it.
You thought of it.
- Me?
- Yeah, you.
[sighs]
Yeah, I guess you're right.
But you have to remember why.
It was a matter of
defending our manhood, right?
Yeah, I guess.
And now I'm wondering
if you're man enough
to face what I have to do.
You? What do you have to do?
Well..
...me and the guys
are gonna have to support
Mary Louis Sorenson.
You're kidding.
(Ernie)
'We have to, Bradford.'
'You saw
how everybody laughed at you.'
Well, what chance do you have?
You guys are really
a bunch of rats.
Face it, Bradford.
You're a sinking ship.
[intense music]
(Joannie)
Oh, dad.
Why did it have to be
Rankin Manheim?
I'm probably gonna freeze up or
start to cry
when he walks in the room.
No, you're too professional
for that.
Not according to Mr. Manheim.
Oh, every time I look at him
I'm gonna be thinking about
what he said.
Give up, get married.
You don't have what it takes.
You just tell yourself
that he's wrong.
After all,
Jeffrey Trout has enough
confidence in you
to give you this chance.
No, I didn't tell him
about the audition.
What Mr. Manheim thinks of me.
[sighs]
He'll find out though.
When the camera's on us
the whole of Sacramento
will find out.
Oh, look.
You'll do just fine.
And I'll be sitting
in my living room
watching my TV set..
'...and being very proud
of you.'
Dad, you're not gonna
watch it, are you?
Of course.
Oh, dad, please don't.
Why be a masochist.
Who's the masochist?
You asked for it, Tommy.
Yeah, but I didn't expect
total disaster.
I mean, the way I see it
I can count on one vote, mine.
And even
that's getting pretty shaky.
I never did trust Ernie Field.
He never looks me in the eye.
Yeah, he's too busy checking out
the rest of you.
Well, it's not
just Ernie, I mean..
...the rest of the guys
deserted me too.
Oh, well that's
so typical of male persons.
Yeah, Tommy, what'd you expect
from a bunch of chauvinists?
Well, I didn't expect
to be pushed out
on a limb and then have it
cut out from underneath me.
Men are fickle, Tommy.
Yeah, and they are so emotional.
I mean, why can't they see
the logic of all these?
Yeah, Tommy, the truth is
you're doing
the cause for women's liberation
a great service.
'It's about time
someone pointed out'
'that a prom queen
is a totally antiquated'
'female sex symbol.'
We want to be more
than prom queens.
We want to be
astronauts and athletes.
President of
the New York Stock Exchange.
Yeah, Tommy,
your finky male friends
can't stop you from helping us.
No, how do you
intend to stop them?
Just watch.
Elizabeth, what's going on?
Revolution, Tommy, revolution.
Okay, everybody
now you all remember Elizabeth.
Well, she's skipping
one of her most important
college classes to come
back to this special meeting.
So, I want you all
to listen to her.
Thanks, Blythe.
Now, last year this club
put on a terrific recital
and raised nearly dollars
to support the campaign for the
Equal Rights Amendment.
So, I know
how strongly you all feel
about sexual discrimination,
right?
(all)
That's right.
Now, as you all know
my brother Tommy
is running for prom queen.
Don't apologize, Elizabeth.
We all have little brothers,
we wish we didn't.
Well, I'm-I'm not apologizing
for Tommy.
In fact, I think what he's doing
is probably
the most important thing
that's happened
to the women's movement since
Gloria Steinem.
What are you majoring
in at college, insanity?
Would you listen?
Now, just because
man are blind sexists
do we have to play their game?
- Yeah.
- If we can get away with it.
[laughing]
Well, then we're no better
than they are.
You guys, think about it.
If we don't show that a man
can compete for
a traditionally female position
well, then how come we except
women will be allowed to compete
for the traditional
male positions?
But Tommy isn't
qualified to be prom queen.
(Elizabeth)
Well, then maybe it's time
we change the prom queen image.
Just like Margaret Thatcher
changed the image
of a prime minister.
You're absolutely right,
Elizabeth.
I move that
the Central High Dance Club
support Tommy Bradford
for prom queen.
I second the motion.
You're puttin' me on.
No, Tommy.
You mean I'd have
a-at least four votes?
More. The club has members.
If you like,
we can have lunch together
and I'll give you all the names.
But we're not
just going to vote, Tommy
We're gonna campaign for you.
You mean,
you'd really do that for me?
Well, no, but to
show the men in this school
that we're more mature
than they are.
Ann, show Tommy the campaign
poster you made in our class.
[instrumental music]
Hey!
I don't understand.
I mean, the guys were so flaky.
You girls are great.
You can thank me personally,
at lunch.
(Blythe)
'Cindy, there is no time
for that'
We have to go
stamp out injustice.
[indistinct cheering]
Vote for Tommy.
It's about time
we had a prom queen
who's really...macho.
[all cheering]
Settle down, Joannie.
You're gonna have to
get in there right now.
Oh, boy,
are we glad you made it, sir.
We're on the air in seconds
(male #)
'Please Mr. Manheim, would
you take a seat over there?'
(Manheim)
'You should have been
more explicit'
'about the time
you wanted me here.'
This would never have
happened in New York.
Put the mic on.
Okay.
Abby, Janet, it was really nice
of you to have this party.
Uh, well, we got lonely.
It didn't seem right to watch
Joannie's debut
just by ourselves.
Quiet, everybody.
Here's Joannie.
Dad, why is she
just sitting there?
I believe we're on camera.
Oh!
Do I get introduced?
Oh, yes.
I'm sorry.
Um, this is Mr. Rankin Manheim.
Please, let me tell them.
I'm Director
of Western Theatre Academy.
And what is your name?
My name?
Your wonderful audience
has the advantage over me.
They know who you are
and I don't.
Um, no actually
Mr. Manheim, we have met.
I'm Joannie.. Joan Bradford.
Oh, of course.
Excuse me.
I do so many of
these interviews.
Uh, tell me, uh..
When was the last time
I did your show?
Uh, no, you don't understand.
I auditioned for you
this past Monday.
Monday?
Of course.
How could I forget?
'Uh, this young lady
is a very promising actress.'
'This wonderful community
can be proud of the abundance
of young talent which
I have encountered on my visit.
Abby, did you hear
that pompous fake?
Just calm down, Tom.
But, Mr. Manheim--
(Manheim)
'Joannie, I know exactly'
what you're going to say.
It is a tragedy
that talent like yours
should not be
further encouraged.
'I know your audience
understands this.'
'And would like to
support the work'
we're doing at the academy.
Fortunately, we have developed
a program which allows
tax-free contributions.
That money-grubbing phony..
- 'Now hold on.'
- Why are you lying about me?
Lying about you?
What sort of nonsense is that?
Give it to him, Joannie.
Excuse me, Mr. Manheim
but when I auditioned
for you on Monday
you told me that
I ought to get out of acting.
And now because it suits
your commercial purposes
you're telling everybody
that I'm a promising talent.
'Well, which is it?'
You're putting me
in a very awkward position.
I audition so many people.
- Did I actually do that to you?
- You did.
Now, I'm sorry about the awkward
position, Mr. Manheim
but you put me in one.
'I believed you.'
I respected you as the greatest
authority I'd ever met.
I was going to give up
the acting profession.
- Because of what I said.
- Yes.
Now tell me
what gives you the right
to destroy a person's dreams?
(Manheim)
'Dear, child, listen to me'
'I'm not against dreams.'
The fact that you're here
putting me
through this inquisition
obviously means
that you have more fire
than I could see
at your
very forgettable audition.
Are you trying to hedge on me?
No, I'm just telling you that..
...other people
can't destroy our dreams
only we can
...when we stop having them.
You sound like my father.
Then listen to your father.
'You have
a wonderful opportunity '
'right here, Joannie.'
Make the most of it.
Keep on studying..
...and keep in touch.
Thank you, Mr. Manheim.
And now back to our exciting
afternoon movie
"Stage Door Canteen."
Well, what'd you think?
Well, not because
I'm Joannie's father
but I think she was magnificent.
I'll go for magnificent.
How about you, Janet?
It was definitely magnificent
I just hope
it wasn't too personal.
Personal?
Well, I hate to say this
but you don't just see things
like that on interview shows.
I wonder if they'll
let her do another one.
[intense music]
[crowd applauding]
(Tommy)
'Well, Joannie, don't worry.'
'I won't tell anybody you're my
sister.'
Tommy, we're sh**ting.
Well, tell us
how does it feel
to have just been elected
fourth runner up--
Uh, third runner up.
Oh! Excuse me.
Third runner up, Central High
School Winter Prom Queen.
Oh, I think I can live with it.
Well, tell us, uh, do you think
this is a step forward
or backward for equal rights?
Oh, i-it's a little too early
to tell, of course.
I'll have to spend
all the time I can
with our queen here
and her princesses.
You know we'll have to go
everywhere together
and do everything together.
But by the time
it's over I think
we will have established a new
level of communication
between us.
And if you'll excuse us now,
our royal fans await.
[crowd applauding]
[whistling]
This is Joannie Bradford,
Channel news.
Returning you to our studios.
Boy, that's what
I wanna be when I grow up.
A newscaster like your sister?
Nope, a prom queen
like my brother.
[dramatic music]
[Nicholas imitating trumpet]
Make way for the princess!
Ta-da!
[humming]
Let them eat cake.
Well, how do you like it?
Oh, it's royal, very royal.
Uh-oh, looks like the
princess cut himself shaving.
Oh, yeah, guess
it was all the excitement.
You realize tonight
I get to spend the
entire evening
with Mary Louis Sorenson
Nancy Matalon
and Sally Pachetti.
I mean this is gonna be
the best prom I ever went to.
Just don't stay out
too late, princess.
Yeah, or you'll turn
into a frog.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, one of you peons get that
it's probably my limo.
[sighs]
It's not a limo.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi, Ernie.
- Hi, Tommy.
- Oh, Ernie, what's up?
I just dropped by
to see if I could help.
This is a great thing
you've done Bradford
and I'd be proud to serve as
your royal escort this evening.
You mean you'd be proud to
ride on my royal coattails?
Don't worry, Ernie,
someday, your prince will come.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
- Aw.
- 'Have a good time.'
[theme music]
[music continues]
04x15 - My Son, The Prom Queen
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.