04x27 - Grad Night

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Eight is Enough". Aired: March 15, 1977 – May 23, 1981.*
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The show was modeled on the life of syndicated newspaper columnist Tom Braden, a real-life parent with eight children, who wrote a book by the same title.
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04x27 - Grad Night

Post by bunniefuu »

Alright, now you be sure

and thank Irving's mom

for having you over.

And you tell her

that you had a nice time.

What if I have a crummy time?

- Well, you thank her anyway.

- But that's a lie.

Oh, no, not really,

it's being polite.

Think how bad Irving's mom

would feel if you told her..

"I'm not having a good time."

You don't wanna hurt her

feelings now, do you?

Nah.

I mean, isn't it better

to make people feel good

by telling them

that you're having a good time

whether you are

or whether you aren't?

Well, but then how is

anybody gonna know

if you have a good time or not?

Well, people can usually

tell those things.

Well, if they can tell

if you have a good time

then they can tell

if you have a bad time.

So they're still

gonna feel bad.

- It's gettin' late, Nicholas.

- Dad, I don't understand.

Oh, no, of course, that's

because you're very young.

It doesn't make sense.

Well, we'll talk about it later.

Dad.

We'll talk

about it later, Nicholas.

You just don't wanna

explain this to me--

Nicholas, later..

That's not true.

- It is true.

- That's not true, Nicholas.

Dad, you don't have to lie.

I can tell.

Okay, okay, you win.

Whatever you say.

- You mean I'm right?

- Yes, yes.

I'm just tired of explaining

this particular concept to you.

Great. Thanks

for hurting my feelings.

Now I'm really gonna

have a crummy time.

[instrumental music]

I didn't do that right.

["Eight Is Enough"]

♪ There's a magic

in the early morning ♪

♪ We've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles ♪

♪ On everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel

and always will ♪

♪ For eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives

with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days ♪

♪ Like bright

and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled

by the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪♪

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Alright, get set now.

Get set.

Ready, smile.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Yay.

- Come on.

Now, we'll take one

with all of us on the stairs.

- Oh, no, dad.

- Come on.

I can still see spots.

Yeah, and besides, you already

took pictures on the stairs

before the graduation.

Alright, these will be

after-graduation pictures.

Why don't we all just clear

outta here like we promised

and leave the house

to Tommy and his friends?

Happy Graduation, Tommy.

Yeah, right.

Congratulations, Tommy.

- You did real good.

- Oh, thank you.

[all laughing]

- Tommy, give me a kiss.

- Kiss! Me! Me.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

- Now!

'Thank you.'

Hi, Nicholas, are you ready?

My mom's in the car.

(Nicholas)

Yeah, I got all

my stuff in my bag.

Did you remember to bring

the grapes and avocados?

Yeah, but we ran out

of artichokes and tomatoes.

(Irving)

'Oh, that's okay.

We got lots of those.'

(Tom)

'Hi, Irving.'

'Did you remember to pack

your toothbrush, Nicholas?'

Yeah, dad.

Well, don't forget

to tell Mrs. Moore

thank you

for having you over.

Okay.

See you later.

Avocados?

- Oh, Tommy.

- Guess what?

- Look what we made.

- Oh, what's this?

Oh, a little surprise.

Something for you guys

to munch on tonight.

Elizabeth, there are

only four of us.

- Right.

- No, it's true.

- Me, Tami, Ernie and Jill.

- Uh-huh.

(Tommy)

'You can believe what you want'

but I've been doing enough

big bashes this week

to last a long time.

I want tonight to stay quiet.

You're serious, aren't you?

You actually told dad

the truth.

Gosh, I hate to disappoint you.

Well, I guess

you had to grow up sometime.

Right. Just too bad it had to be

after we made deviled eggs.

Look, I really appreciate

the trouble you went to, really.

It's okay.

What are sisters for?

Well, I better get dressed.

And, first I'm gonna

hide this stuff

in case dad decides

to sh**t a sequel.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Ah. Mm-mm.

Oh, Tommy.

- We're out of film, dad.

- Yes, yes, I know.

And it's really getting too late

to take any more pictures

'cause it's getting

close to :.

Pictures are not exactly

what I had on my mind.

Oh, you're worried

about the house.

Well, don't worry, I'll take

care of everything

and make sure that nothing--

- Tommy, do you mind?

- Sorry.

I just wanna wish you

a happy graduation.

Oh.

And tell you that

I was very proud of you tonight.

And tell you that I trust you

with the house completely.

- It's your "Oh."

- Oh.

- Oh, yeah.

- Thanks, dad.

Okay.

- Are you ready?

- Yes, ready.

Well, do you think you two

can entertain yourselves

until o'clock?

You know,

it may surprise you, son

but I have been out

after midnight before.

- Liar.

- Shh.

(Nicholas)

'Hey, Irving,

you need more artichokes.'

I know. We just ran out.

Well, I'll fake it with

these extra avocados over here.

Here, stick 'em in the back

so you don't see 'em as much.

You just cut it here.

[telephone rings]

Hello. Hi, sweetie.

What a nice surprise.

You're there now?

Yeah, of course I will.

You go ahead

and collect the luggage

and I'm on my way.

Okay, bye-bye.

Mwah. Mwah.

Irving, I have to go pick

your father up at the airport.

I thought he wasn't coming home

until tomorrow.

I know that, but his meeting

has been cancelled.

So let's go, boys, okay?

We can't go.

This project's due tomorrow.

Well, it's not gonna take long.

But the glue will harden.

[sighs]

Oh, I don't know.

(Irving)

'Please, mom.'

Well, can I trust

the two of you alone?

Okay. Okay, but keep

the doors locked

and no roughhousing, alright?

Alright.

And I won't be long.

(both)

Mush.

Oh, that's me there.

Oh, you were

in the wrestling team?

Of course not. I just showed up

for the picture.

He was also in the pictures

of the Spanish club

the marching band,

the young republicans

the young democrats,

and the women's service league.

I almost made

the cheerleading picture

but someone stole

my pom-poms.

Remember this?

This is the Forage dance.

Don't remind me, I'll never

forgive Larry Nesbit.

Larry told him it was a

costume dance. Except it wasn't.

You gotta picture this.

A hundred people

in tuxes and gowns.

And Bradford shows up

as an African Pygmy goat.

[laughs]

- Oh, hi, sir. Hello.

- Yeah.

Listen, when I called you

you said that there were

plenty of free lanes.

- Uh, it filled up.

- Oh, oh.

Well, uh, how long

a wait will it be then?

- It depends.

- On what?

When we get an open lane.

Well, surely you must have

an idea how long that will be.

I mean, an hour. An hour

and a half? Two hours?

- Could be.

- 'Could be what?'

An hour, an hour and a half,

two hours. It depends.

On when there's

an open lane, right?

Right.

Listen, can I ask you

a question?

Did you ever work

for the government?

How did you know that?

Hey, there's Mr. Lefcore.

You remember

his sophomore biology class?

"Remember?" I've been

confused ever since.

[telephone ringing]

I'll be right back.

Save my place.

Hello. Hey, Scott.

What's happening?

Yeah? Sounds like a hot party.

Unh-unh, no, I think I'll pass.

Well, Tami and Ernie

are over here with Jill and I.

Yeah, we wanna

keep things quiet.

Well...yeah, sure, but just

you and Jeff and your dates.

No one else.

The last thing I want over here

is a house full of people.

Okay, you bet.

Bye-bye.

Well, maybe this wasn't

such a good idea.

Holy Mac! I haven't seen

lines like this

since Garson got Gable.

Before your time.

Of course,

I was only a child myself.

Oh, of course.

Well, so much for the movie.

Where do you wanna go now?

- Home.

- Home?

We can't go home,

we still have three hours left.

- So I'll drive slowly.

- Tom.

Oh, come on, so we get home

a little early.

Tommy will understand.

No, he won't. He'll think

you're checking up on him.

Alright, I give up.

What do you wanna do?

[Abby laughs]

Jill, you're just signing

his yearbook

not answering

an essay question.

Give her a break.

That's right. These things

are supposed to be special.

Yeah, believe me

it's gotta be more special

than what you wrote.

What's wrong

with what I wrote?

"To Tommy,

best wishes, Ernest."

I just thought

it oughta be a little formal.

It looked like a copy of

an autographed Hemingway novel.

There. Finished.

Oh, Jill, that's beautiful.

- You think so?

- Oh, I know so.

- I meant every word of it.

- This was really special.

What did she write?

Oh, Jill,

this really is special.

What is it?

I wanted it to be different.

You're something else.

Will you guys

let me see what she wrote.

"To Tommy, best wishes, Jill?"

[laughs]

[telephone ringing]

Hello? Oh, hi, mom.

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

I love you too.

Don't worry about Nicholas

and I, we're fine.

Alright.

Okay, bye.

My dad lost his suitcases.

They won't be back for a while.

Oh, you should have asked her

where she keeps the flour.

It's gotta be up here.

We looked everywhere else.

Well, maybe we should

just forget

about making paste

and use Scotch tape.

Wait, I think I see it.

Can you reach it?

No, it's a little bit too high.

Bring the phonebook over here.

I think if I stand on top

of that, I can reach.

Here.

Be careful, Irving.

- Aah!

- Irving!

♪ And wheresoe'er we wander ♪

♪ We'll have a mighty sigh ♪

♪ When our thoughts stray ♪

♪ The golden days at dear ♪

♪ Old Central High ♪♪

[laughing]

I'm telling you people,

we have a hit on our hands.

[telephone ringing]

If that's William Morris,

tell him we'll sign.

Hello.

Yeah, Nicholas, is that you?

No, no, dad's not here.

What's wrong?

Hey, hey, slow down.

No, Mary went to a movie.

Will you slow down, Nicholas?

Look, I'm the only one here.

Now, just calm down

and tell me what's wrong.

What's the matter?

Shh, shh, shh.

Now, that sounds pretty bad.

Is Irving conscious?

Alright, tell him not to move.

Just sit tight, Nicholas.

And don't worry,

I'll be right over.

Bye.

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

(Tommy)

'Uh-huh. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. We will.'

- Oh, watch out, my arm.

- Sorry.

(Tommy)

'Uh-huh.'

Um, Nicholas,

I look really dumb.

Oh, Tommy said

to keep you warm.

This was the only thing

I could find.

I think I'm okay.

I think we better see

what the doctor says.

(Tommy)

Alright, thank you

very much, doctor.

Bye-bye.

Well, the doctor says

we should get Irving

to the emergency room.

Right.

Ernie, why don't you

leave the Moores a note

and we'll take him

out to the car.

- Watch out for his left arm.

- Alright.

Okay, Irving, lift up.

Just a little.

Okay.

- Ernie, will you hurry it up?

- I'm coming.

[intense music]

[door closes]

[upbeat music]

Boy, I tell you, I had

a nightmare very similar

to this once,

only it was louder.

Well, at least,

there's no waiting.

Well, that's understandable.

Who wants to wait in line

to get a ruptured disc?

Tom, come on, it might be fun.

Oh, I can't dance

like these people.

Well, you just, you just

listen to the music

and you just let yourself go.

You know, like them.

Going into convulsions is not

my idea of having a good time.

Oh, Tom, just one day.

Okay, but I tell you,

I'd feel a lot better

with a red feather boa.

[music continues]

[ambulance siren wailing]

(woman over PA)

'Dr. Holleran, please call .'

Hey, Nicholas,

where are you going?

I just wanna see

what's taking so long.

And then all we have

to take care of

is the insurance information.

It would be helpful if you could

contact the Moores

before Irving is brought down.

- I'll keep trying.

- Okay.

Thanks, Jill. You're really

being terrific about this.

Making a few phone calls

is called being a friend.

- Not terrific.

- Yeah, well.

Here you go, friend,

'cause I got a feeling

it's gonna be a long night.

Oh.

Is Irving gonna be okay?

Well, it's just

a simple fracture

but the casting and stuff

might take a while.

How long is a while?

Two, maybe three hours.

(woman over PA)

'Doctor Marsh, .'

'Doctor Marsh, .'

Well, it's too bad Joannie had

to go to Stockton on that story.

She really wanted

to see this movie.

Yeah, well,

she still might make it.

If this line gets any longer,

it could reach her any second.

"The Liberation of Victoria"

is an important film.

Now, as women, we should

be glad there's a big crowd.

Look, as a woman, I'm thrilled.

As a customer with bad arches,

I wish they'd all go home.

The line should

start moving pretty soon.

Yeah, something

to look forward to.

Sitting in the front row

with a neck sprain.

Nancy, I know

what you're thinking.

'And we are not going home.'

'Look, we promised

Tommy we would'

'not horn in

on his graduation party.'

Elizabeth, how's

my favorite Bradford?

Fine, I guess.

Happy graduation.

I still got another year.

Hey, uh, how about

doin' us a little favor?

See you later, Elizabeth.

- Who was that?

- Kurt Harper.

Remember he used to play

in Tommy's band?

We're never gonna get in.

Hey, let's forget the flick.

My favorite Bradford

gave me a better idea.

Come on, guys.

Oh. Oh, am I glad that is over.

Well, there's some good things

about Stockton's annual

livestock exhibit.

Oh, name one.

It won't happen again

till next year.

[laughs]

Oh, Jimmy.

I think I'm gonna

sleep till next year.

I only got two hours

and three days.

Well, get all the sleep

you need.

Provided you're in editing

at : a.m. sharp.

Oh, no.

You got a lot

of film to look at.

I can't wait to see

the "Know Your Hog" seminar.

Oh, bye, Jimmy.

Thanks, see you soon.

Sooner than you think.

Right.

Oh, why did I ever

think journalism

would be a glamorous profession?

Oh, what'd you forget, Jimmy?

- Hi, Joannie.

- Oh, Chad.

Sorry, sorry, we're late. We had

to stomp for a few things.

Uh, so we could

contribute some refreshments.

Oh, well, that's nice.

- Where's the party?

- I just got here. What party?

Oh, we just talked to Tommy

a little while ago

and he invited us over

to celebrate graduation.

Oh, no, not tonight.

Bradford probably

ran out of ice.

- Yeah.

- Gee, it's a drag.

Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey.

- Hey.

How's my favorite Bradford?

[scoffs]

Who's your favorite Bradford?

And who are you?

Kurt Harper, beautiful.

'You must be Tommy's sister.'

Oh, it's a great guess.

[music over stereo]

And this must be

Tommy's graduation party.

Come on, guys, let's party.

Trying to jump a fence!

I can't believe you, David.

- Oh, it was a dare.

- It was a six-foot fence.

- I misjudged.

- So did I.

I thought I married

a matured grownup.

Now, the doctor said

you should get plenty of rest.

So, we're going to bed early.

No television and no talking.

(David)

You're treating me like a child.

Oh, there are reasons for that.

Goodnight, David.

Goodnight, Janet.

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Joannie.

Does it have to be tonight?

Well, okay, but make it quick.

Joannie wants to sleep

on our couch.

- How come?

- I don't know.

Something about

Tommy having a party.

[upbeat music]

Hello, Sandy? Kurt.

Yeah. How do you like

a little action tonight?

"Hot?" Are you kidding?

From the looks of it,

it's gonna get a lot hotter.

(woman over PA)

'Dr. Compton, report to OR Two.'

'Dr. Compton, report to OR Two.'

'Dr. Finneman,

please come to Therapy.'

'Dr. Finneman,

please come to Therapy.'

Hey, lighten up, Nicholas.

Irving will be playing

shortstop again in six weeks.

The doctor promised.

It wasn't Irving

I was thinkin' about.

Sorry we messed up

your graduation party, Tommy.

Well, don't worry

about it, squirrel.

You guys didn't

do it on purpose.

Look, you just should've

been more careful.

Well, I'll never let Irving

try anything like that again.

Even if I have

to break his other arm.

Well, I'm sure

you'll talk him out of it.

You know, you're getting

to be more like

your big brother every day.

David?

Me.

- Really?

- You bet.

Uh, hey, Nicholas,

where are you going?

To see if I can find Ernie

and Tami in the coffee shop.

If I'm getting to be

so much like you

maybe I can talk Ernie

into buying me a chocolate soda.

[exhales]

Talk about

an exercise of utility.

Still no luck at Irving's, huh?

I even tried having his parents

paged at the airport

but it's like a zoo out there.

The governor

and his favorite singer

are flying in

from LA tonight.

Well, looks like we're stuck

here holding down the fort.

I'm really sorry you have to

spend your graduation this way.

Well, the situation

has its compensations.

- What makes you say that?

- You.

Feels right to be

with you tonight, Tommy.

You were the best part

of high school.

We were.

Boy! I'm sorry, you guys,

I just couldn't

sit through another minute

of that thing.

- It was a little slow.

- A little?

I kept reading

the exit sign for excitement.

Well, where to now, ladies?

We still can't go home.

Yeah, well, we could

go over to David and Janet's.

It's still early.

I think they're still up.

- What do you think?

- Okay. That sounds good.

Okay, if I can find my keys.

- Come on.

- Let's go.

- Goodnight, David.

- Goodnight, Janet.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, no.

Oh.

[doorbell rings]

[knock on door]

(Mary)

'David?'

- Hm.

- 'Janet.'

'Hello?'

Yes.

Can't believe it.

(Mary)

'Joannie?'

(Susan)

'Joannie, what are you

doing here?'

I thought you had

a big news assignment.

Well, we have

a few hours to sleep

before I edit pig pictures.

- Pig pictures?

- Yeah.

Joannie, why aren't you

sleeping at home?

At home with Tommy's

party going on

it's like Grand Central

Station there.

How come dad never

let us have bashes like that?

I, uh, think

we better go home.

Tommy might need to be safe

from himself.

Not to mention from dad.

- Turn off the light.

- Oh, sure.

Pig pictures.

[disco music]

Well, at least

we k*lled some time.

Yeah, it's k*lling me.

My back will never be the same.

- Can we go home now, please?

- No, we can't.

It's still too early.

You promised Tommy.

Why don't we just drive by?

You know, to..

To what? To check up on him?

I thought you trusted him.

I do. I really do.

But not one hundred percent,

right?

Well, I always allow two percent

margin for error, you know.

Well, I think you should go

with the odds.

Fine, then, what do we do now?

Well, we could go for a drive.

And waste

all that gasoline?

Not if we do it my way.

- How's your back?

- Oh.

Improving.

[rock music]

I don't believe it.

Maybe it's not

as bad as it looks.

It's a graduation party.

Don't count on it.

[rock music]

Here's to the class of !

[cheering]

- 'Chugalug!'

- Chugalug! Yeah!

[music continues]

[screams]

[upbeat music]

That movie we walked out on

could've used an orgy like this.

Tommy must've gone crazy.

Yeah, so will dad

when he sees all this.

[music continues]

We better tell Tommy

to have all this all gone

before dad gets home.

Can you see Tommy?

No. Look, we better split up

and try to find him now.

The first one who finds him,

bring him back here, okay?

But if I get lost, you guys

send a search party, okay?

Good luck.

[screaming]

Tommy?

Tommy?

Are you in here?

(male #)

'Oh, go away, will you?'

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm looking

for Tommy Brad.. Bradford.

(female #)

'Good luck, honey,

so are half the girls'

'at the party, including me.'

(male #)

'Why don't you just

stop talking and kiss me?'

I think I'll go

check the kitchen.

[clatters]

[music continues]

Well, look who dropped in.

My favorite Bradford.

Kurt, what are you doing here,

and where is Tommy?

You know, you're the fifth girl

that's asked me that tonight.

- Or is it the sixth?

- That's terrific.

Listen, if you see him,

would you do me a favor?

Tell him that his sisters

are looking for him.

- Who?

- Tommy. Remember?

Tommy?

Oh, oh, sure.

He's my favorite Bradford.

- Have a good time.

- You too.

Bye-bye.

Whoo!

[music continues]

[Elizabeth screaming]

Hello, Suzy?

This is Alvin Flecker.

Listen, I was wondering if

you'd like to come to a party.

Alvin Flecker.

What about after your headache?

Hey, have you checked upstairs?

I haven't been able

to get that far.

Well, we've gotta try.

Tommy's gotta be somewhere

in this house.

Everyone else in Sacramento is.

Look, I'm gonna go check

upstairs, alright?

Uh, Nancy, Nance,

it wouldn't do..

Hey, hey, you guys.

[cheering]

Thanks, operator.

- Well?

- Phone's not out of order.

It's just busy.

Maybe Scott and Jeff

are trying to find us.

Yeah. Come to think of it I'll

try and call the Moores again.

Great way

to spend graduation, huh?

Don't worry about it.

The important thing is that

Irving's gonna be alright.

Thanks to you.

Mm. Thanks to all of us.

[crickets chirping]

(Abby)

'My mother warned me about

parking with guys like you.'

(Tom)

'Yeah, well, that must have

been before they invented'

'the compact cars.'

'Ow. Aw, shucks.'

'I.. Well, I hope at least

Tommy's having a good time.'

(Abby)

'Well, maybe if

I just move my legs'

'just over here a little bit.'

(Tom)

'Yeah. Ow. Wait, Abby, please!'

- 'You're crushing my hair.'

- 'I'm sorry.'

- 'Ow. It's my knee.'

- 'Tom, I didn't see it.'

- Ow.

- Ooh.

- Now, what?

- My foot's in a cramp.

(Abby)

Could, could you just,

could you just move?

(Tom)

No, there's no room to move.

(Abby)

'Well, then, just open the door.

I need to.. I gotta stand up.'

- 'I'm trying.'

- 'Oh, oh, no.'

'Oh, oh, let me

out of here. Oh!'

(Abby)

'Could you open

the door please?'

'I just gotta get out of here.

Oh, let me out, please.'

She's right. Let her out

and put your hands up.

(Abby)

Oh, gosh.

Oh, oh, this is a mistake.

as*ault is always a mistake.

No, no, officer.

I think I could explain.

Tell him, tell him.

I didn't do anything.

[disco music]

Nancy, there's no luck.

I can't find Tommy anywhere.

Well, I saw this guy

who thought

he found Tommy

on the screen porch.

But all I found was

too unmentionable to mention.

Oh, no.

- Where's Mary?

- Wasn't she with you?

No, I lost her.

Oh, how do you find anybody

in this mad house?

I don't know.

Uh, uh, no thanks.

This dance is taken.

I think it's up to us.

- To do what?

- To clear out this party.

Well, you got any ideas

on what to do with them?

Well, we're independent females.

We can handle those animals.

- How?

- By calling in reinforcements.

Come on.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[music blaring]

Excuse me.

Hello, Gloria.

Alvin Flecker.

- Now, what do we do?

- Just leave it to me.

I'm at a party

and I was just wond..

Alvin Flecker.

Hello. Gloria. Hello?

Excuse me, Alvin Flecker, right?

Yes, right.

Uh, some girl wants

to see you in the living room.

- You're kidding.

- No.

Actually, two girls wanna

see him in the living room.

Yeah, us.

[giggles]

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

Oh, hi, Elizabeth.

Uh, can you speak up?

I can hardly hear you.

I said, I can hardly hear you.

I didn't say anything.

They what?

They have?

They are?

- They did?

- They who?

Well, David's in no condition

to go, but if it's that bad

you should call the police.

The police?

I'll call Merle and then

Joannie and I'll be right over.

- What's up?

- It's Tommy.

He's acting your age again.

- Well, where are we going now?

- Home.

We can't go home.

It's only :.

Look, I know what time it is,

but I can't take any more.

Not since that

paranoid policeman.

What happened

to your sense of humor?

I lost it between

the disco and the bowling alley.

What are we gonna do?

We're just gonna drive around?

No, we can't.

There's hardly any gas left.

There are no gas stations open.

I better get you home

while I can.

Okay, if you think that's best.

I just hope

Tommy will understand.

Look, if Tommy

is adult enough

to have a nice quiet get

together with his close friends

on graduation night,

well, then, he is adult enough

to accept the fact

that we're a little early.

You hope.

[sighs]

I need the peace and quiet.

[upbeat music]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

- Out of the way.

- Excuse me.

Terrific.

Excuse us.

What do we do?

First, you better

find the girls.

- There's Nancy.

- What?

There's Nancy!

[music continues]

- Nancy. Over here. Nancy.

- Oh. Nancy.

- 'Nance, over here.'

- 'Hey.'

Elizabeth, we're saved.

- Excuse us.

- Nancy.

Nancy.

- It's just unbelievable.

- What?

Says it's unbelievable.

Have you found Tommy?

No, not yet, but as soon as

we can clear out a few bodies

we're gonna check

in the basement.

Oh, now the basement.

If he's smart

he'll hide down there

till this whole

thing blows over.

Thirty or forty years from now.

[knock on door]

(man at door)

'Police department, open up.'

I never thought

the day would come

when I'd be glad to hear that.

Excuse us. Excuse us.

Excuse us.

Officer Douglas, Sacramento,

police department.

You kids are gonna have

to quiet it down a bit.

What?

We said you're

disturbing the peace.

Not us, them.

These girls live here.

'We called you.'

Well, they'll have to stop

or we'll be forced

to evict all non-residents

from the premises.

Officer, do your duty. Please.

Alright, Carl, follow me.

Okay, let's break it up,

come on.

(Douglas)

'Hurry up, let's go, let's go.'

Well, I hope this works.

It better. You know what dad

would say if he saw this?

(Tom)

What the devil

is going on here?

Where is Tommy?

Alright, Elizabeth,

don't try to protect them.

But, dad, it's true.

We can't find Tommy.

In case, you haven't noticed

it's pretty confusing

around here.

Believe me, I've noticed.

And I'll find Tommy.

The rest of you can start

reclaiming this house

from the jungle.

Tommy?

Well..

You get around, don't you?

- Uh, often.

- Look, mister.

When I told you

to leave Lover's Lane

I didn't mean that you should

crash a high school party.

Officer, I live here.

You're responsible for this?

No, it's my son's fault.

And I'll put a stop to it.

Now, you can just stand here

and watch if you want

or you can help me.

[music stops]

Alright, guys, uh,

fellas, sorry, folks.

The party's over.

If you wanna continue dancing,

I recommend Boogieland.

[booing]

I recommend it now.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay. Alright. Nice popcorn.

Alright.

[indistinct chatter]

Out, buddy. O-U-T.

I just want you to file a formal

complaint with the two cops

in the living room.

I understand you ain't

interested to report

on some party crashers.

Want a sandwich?

(male #)

'I mean it, baby. How else

can you prove that you love me?'

- 'Oh.'

- 'Oh, no, not again.'

She can prove it

by taking you home

before you get

into any more trouble.

(male #)

'Oh, what a drag.'

Well, you will?

Ursula, you will come?

- 'Yeah.'

- Oh, I love you.

Oh, listen, uh, it's, uh,

it's Oak Street.

That's right.

Yes, that's right.

'That's where-where

Tommy is, yes.'

'Oh, thank you.'

- Catch the late bus, okay?

- 'I can't wait.'

No, you don't need to bring

anything. I'm all set.

Sorry, wrong number.

But that's the first right

number I'd had all night.

- Yes.

- Oh, come on, give me a break.

- But what about Ursula?

- Toodle-oo.

'Wait a minute, no.'

[slams phone]

Well, they're not next door. And

I cannot reach the Bradfords.

I think their line

is out of order.

That's not the only thing

that's gonna be out of order

once I get my hands on Irving.

You know, they should have left

a word or something

if they were going over

to Nicholas' house.

Oh, what if something

happened to those boys?

I never, never should have

let them stay by themselves.

Don't start

thinking the worst.

I'm sure there's a very harmless

explanation for the whole thing.

Alright? And, as a matter of

fact, I think I just found it.

They did leave a note after all.

(Mrs. Moore)

'Jack, what does it say?'

(Jack)

The only two words

I can make out are

"Irving" and "Accident."

Tommy Bradford

sure knows how to howl.

- What a party.

- Yeah.

'Hey, where's your wheels, man?

Let's get out of here.'

Well, sounds like you're

earning quite a reputation.

Oh, please.

Officer, you don't understand.

I'm Tom Bradford Senior.

Tommy Bradford Junior

is my son.

Ah, can you show me

this alleged son?

No. Not at the moment.

But when I find him, he's gonna

wish that he were alleged.

Hold it, mister, can you

prove that you live here?

Oh, come on.

You've got to be kidding.

Look, put yourself in my shoes.

I find you

in two suspicious circumstances

in less than an hour.

Now, if you were me,

wouldn't you check you out?

Be my guest.

And I really am sorry

that you were so worried.

It wasn't your fault, Tommy.

Just glad you helped Irving.

Oh, I can't thank you enough

for everything you did.

Ah, don't mention it.

Except maybe to my parents.

Could you call them

and tell them that

Nicholas and I will be home

right away?

Oh, I'd love to.

I just hope I don't have

any more trouble

getting through

to your house.

Right. Bradford, Thomas W.

I see.

Really?

"The Sacramento Register?"

He's that Bradford?

Yeah, I read him religiously.

It seems to me that a little

misunderstanding wouldn't

bother him with his famous

sense of humor.

He's trying.

Yes.

Well, I think that's the last

of the red-hot graduates.

In that case,

we'll be leaving.

I'm sorry, Mr. Bradford.

That's alright.

Thanks for all your help.

I'll go get the broom

and then you girls

can help me

clean up this house.

- Okay.

- Mary.

Where have you been

for the past hour and half?

Oh, uh, upstairs.

Locked in a closet.

Who locked you

in the closet?

I did.

Oh, it was the only

way to get any privacy.

Besides, every time

I tried going downstairs

they'd carry me back up.

Do you realize, we never

found Tommy, Ernie or Jill?

Nancy, you know

how grad nights are.

There are a lot

of parties to go to.

Are you saying that Tommy left

his party for somebody else's?

Oh, great.

That will really get to dad.

As a matter of fact,

it really gets to me.

Yeah, Tommy creates a monster

and leaves it for us to k*ll.

Maybe it's better for him,

if we never find him.

[police radio chatter]

Hey, what's going on?

[engine revving]

Uh, what, did you guys

have a party?

That isn't funny, Tommy.

Do you realize what

you put us through?

There is absolutely no excuse

for your behavior

tonight, Tommy.

You're not

a big-sh*t graduate.

You're nothing

but an irresponsible child.

Oh, hold it. I don't even know

what you're talking about.

'You're not making any sense.'

I'm afraid they are, Tommy.

You lied to us.

'I should've

known better than'

to leave you alone

in this house.

And I'll never

trust you again.

Well, I'll make it easier,

you won't ever have to.

Tommy! Come back here!

What's going on?

Where did you come from?

It's a long story.

Tell them about Irving,

Nicholas.

Well, we kinda

ran out of artichokes.

Nicholas, I think

you can skip that part.

- Tommy.

- Don't try and stop me.

No, no, I just wanted

to tell you that I was wrong.

And so are your sisters.

We've found out

about Irving and I..

Well, I hope

that you'll forgive me.

It's not that easy.

I mean, it's like you

wanted to believe the worst.

No, I just

believed what I saw.

It made me angry

and very wrong, I'm sorry.

All's I tried

to do all night

was what I thought

you'd want me to do.

I know that now.

Then why didn't

you trust me?

I don't know, maybe..

Maybe it was because I was

afraid to admit that..

...you aren't a boy anymore.

Tonight, you were more

of a man than your father.

[instrumental music]

And I'm proud of you.

You really mean that?

Sure, I do.

You were mature and responsible.

And totally adult.

Thanks.

Apology accepted?

If you'll accept mine.

Sure.

Now I think we should

go downstairs.

What for?

I hear that Bradfords

are having a party.

Oh, goodie.

[music continues]

(Abby)

'Nicholas, what're you

doing out of bed?'

It sounded like a party.

Well, it is a party, Nicholas.

Now, may I have

everybody's attention?

- Please.

- And besides..

I forgot

to tell Tommy something.

Thanks for being there

with me and Irving.

Oh, I'm glad you remembered

to say that, Nicholas.

- Now, as I was saying--

- Dad, can we say it?

Please, dad?

As I was saying,

they'll say it.

Tommy, we're sorry for acting

like childish little sisters.

(Elizabeth)

'Yeah, we think

you're pretty wonderful.'

Yeah, we're sorry you missed out

on your graduation celebration.

So, uh, we're giving

you this one.

Yeah, we're all turning over

the house to you next weekend

for your party

you originally planned.

Is that really true, dad?

Completely, and we hope

that you and your friends

have a very happy time.

Thanks, everybody.

And now a toast,

to our honored graduate.

- Here.

- 'Alright!'

And to the graduating

class of .

My favorite favorites.

[all laughing]

'Oh, my God.'

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

(Tom)

'Gin.'

That's games in a row.

Congratulations.

I surrender.

We should've made plans.

You remember what happened

the last time

we gave Tommy the house.

Well, I thought you were

making plans all week.

I was planning to.

Hmm, give me

that flashlight.

I'll check the entertainment

section again.

[clears throat]

Let's see,

we could see..

...Ingmar's

"Swenson's Cries And Screaming."

Sounds noisy.

Well, La Maison Blanche

takes all evening

to have dinner I've heard.

Oh, that place

is so exclusive.

And it's bound

to be mobbed.

It only seats .

So, it'll be claustrophobic.

Not to mention expensive.

We could, we could go

see the Demolition Derby.

I've seen it.

When? When have you seen

the Demolition Derby?

On grad night.

In our living room.

Right.

Tom, I don't think you're gonna

find the perfect diversion.

Well, then what?

- We could neck.

- We did that.

Well, we'll do it again

until you get it right.

Okay.

[laughing]

[theme music]
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