06x27 - Butter You Doing Here?

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Bill.

Okay, either you're about

to tackle a few dozen

cookies or...

No, can't think

of another reason anyone

would need this much milk.

I'm refining

my milk palate.

You said that

like an explanation,

but here I am, still clueless.

Well, at the beginning

of the summer,

I joined a club in town.

The future ranchers

of Dusty Tush.

Aw, that's adorable.

I mean, no,

I stand by what I said.

That's cutes

patoots, dude.

I'm preparing

for the upcoming triathlon.

Triathlon? Like running,

biking and swimming?

No, I'm talking

about milk tasting,

butter sculpting,

and sheep shucking.

You know,

a normal triathlon.

Well, can I come?

I'd love to cheer you on

and show my support.

Really? Okay, sure.

But don't you

have stuff to do as

an activities director?

You bet.

But what Lou doesn't know

won't hurt her.

Unless I left

the lawn mower running.

That could hurt

a lot of people.

I'll meet you there.

[all] ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Hey, guys. Since Parker is once

again inexplicably missing,

I'll be giving you

your activity assignments.

I don't have the ropes

course again, do I?

Because I'm kind of

beefing with this squirrel

named Stanley

and long story short,

there are a few Rocky Mountain

maples I'm not welcome in.

No, no I think

you'll both be very happy.

You'll be leading

Arts and Crafts together...

-Great.

-...with Ken from Eagle Cabin.

Okay, keep up the good work.

Thanks. Bye.

No, not Ken.

What's wrong with Ken?

I've seen him around, but I

don't really know him that well.

It's not that there's

something wrong with him.

There's nothing wrong

with him.

He's the perfect counselor.

Campers love

and admire him.

Frankly, it makes me sick.

I'm sure he's not that bad.

You must be exaggerating.

You'll see. Trust me.

It's super annoying,

and that's

coming from someone

who plays the trombone.

-[squirrel chittering]

-No way, Stanley.

We agreed everything

east of the lake was my turf!

And Jake Jacobs steals

the foosball.

He sh**t, he...

weakly passes

to the other team.

If I wanted to be this bad

at something I'd play

real soccer.

Oh, try spinning

the handle really hard.

Yes, it worked!

Of course it did.

I've been foosing

for a long time.

You're a great

friend, Winnie.

Actually, you're one

of my best friends.

Oh.

Well, thanks.

Thanks?

Hey, have you heard

the new Beyonce album?

Banger after banger.

Am I right?

Anyway, I'm gonna go get

pizza rolls.

Wait. Isn't there

anything else you want

to say to me?

Right. Of course.

Look at that amazing thing.

Aw, I don't know

what's more disappointing.

That Winnie doesn't think

I'm one of her best friends,

or that I missed

the amazing thing.

Did you guys see it?

[Judge Conner] All right.

Welcome to the future ranchers

of Dusty Tush triathlon.

Or, as I call it, that gig

I forgot I signed up for

three months ago.

Well, I can't believe

this day is finally here.

I also can't believe

I agreed to drink a bunch

of milk in August.

I'm your judge,

Robin Conner,

but people call me Judge Robin

or bad at commitment,

if you're my ex.

Just a little comedy there

to cover the pain.

Let's get started.

Sorry, I'm late.

What is that?

I just want to show

a little support.

I don't mind

a little support,

but that's

a lot of my face.

I think I see

bats in my cave.

No way. But I did pass

the doctor on

the way here,

and he said you should

get this mole

checked out.

Okay. Just sit in the bleachers.

Watch from there.

A true fan

does not merely

sit and watch.

You've obviously never been

to a curling competition.

We gets nuts.

Sweep it! Sweep!

Sweep it!

Fine. I can gets nuts

from over there, too.

Our first event...

Milk tasting

because that's

where my life is now.

Bill Pickett, you're up.

Go, Bill! Identify that

cow juice, bruh!

Parker, get a hold

of yourself.

You're at a milk tasting.

Not tailgating

a tractor pull.

What? We gets nuts.

[gurgles]

This is grass fed.

One perc...

No, two percent.

And hails from

Southeast Tush pasture.

Correct.

Yeah! Go, Bill.

That's how you moo it.

Let's do

the wave, everybody!

Whoo!

And the day with

that guy isn't gonna

be annoying at all.

All right,

let's try this again.

Ready? Whoo!

Seriously, guys.

Go to a curling match.

Well, how perfect

can Ken be?

He's five minutes late

for our activity.

Just wait.

Hey, guys.

So sorry.

I was just putting some

of my famous cookies

in the oven for us all.

Caroline, don't you worry.

I got dairy free

for you, girl.

Told you.

Destiny Baker.

I'm Ken. It is an honor

to finally get to work

with the legend.

I am humbled.

Ya-huh.

Okay, everybody.

Welcome to

Arts and Crafts.

Allow me.

Hey, guys, that is no way

to start an activity.

She said, "Okay,

everybody, welcome to

Arts and Crafts."

-[campers clapping]

-Hey! What?

I can't hear you.

Over here.

[campers] Whoo!

-Over here.

-[campers] Whoo!

Everybody.

[campers] Whoo!

Now that's

the Kikiwaka spirit.

They're all yours.

Thanks, Ken.

Anyway, today we're going

to be making potholders.

Last night I wove you guys

a little sample to see

what you'd be doing today.

It's no big deal.

Some of us just like

to go above and beyond.

-All right.

I didn't do that.

-Oh, that's okay, Ken.

-We can't all be perfect.

-[chuckles]

Just wait.

I did weave

this sample quilt, though.

Yeah. I had a little

extra time yesterday

between boating

with my campers

and rehabilitating

an injured bird.

Remember when I told you,

"told you"?

Told you.

Each one

of these squares

depicts an awesome memory

that I've shared

with one of my eagles.

Now, for instance, this one

is about saving our turtle

from that mudslide.

Ten minutes under water,

a lifetime of memories.

That was you?

You were on the : news.

It was only

a two minute spot.

[beeps]

Oh, cookies are ready.

Back in a flash.

No, seriously.

A literal flash.

I run marathons.

-Told you.

-Yes, I know you told me.

Hey, Jake.

Is something wrong?

How'd you know?

Well, for starters,

you're trying to drink juice

through a crayon.

Oh, man. I thought

it tasted maroon.

I told Winnie she was

one of my best friends.

Oh, Jake,

that's so sweet.

And all she said back

was "Thanks."

Oof! Never mind.

That stings.

I thought Winnie and I

were getting close

all summer.

Why wouldn't she say

I'm one of her

best friends, too?

Well, maybe

she didn't hear ya.

You think so?

No, I'm clearly reaching.

Jake, I know,

your feelings are hurt,

but you can't make Winnie

say something she's

not ready to say.

Or maybe I can.

I can show Winnie

what a great friend I am

so she'll have to say it.

Thanks, Lou.

You realize

that's the opposite

of what I just said, right?

Also, where's

your counselor?

I'll ask Ken.

He'll know.

Okay. You were totally right

about Ken.

I mean, yes, those cookies

are amazing.

But sea salt,

kind of an obvious flex.

I know.

So annoying.

And thanks for making

my camp experience

peak early, Ken.

Oh, and did you see him

at the archery range?

He split one arrow

with another arrow.

Who does

he think he is?

Robin Hood?

I know. How about

you just take

from the rich

and give

to the poor, Ken?

He actually does give

a lot to charity.

Oh, that's nice.

Fun. Fun.

Fun, fun, fun.

Fun, hold.

[laughs]

Hey, guys! Glad to

run into you here.

Any chance you'd want

to join us on

a -mile hike?

No thanks.

These legs are for

decoration only.

[laughs]

You're hilarious, Noah.

You keep nurturing that.

I thought you had

the afternoon off.

Yeah, well,

I can't stay away

from my kids.

After all,

that's what we got

into this for, right?

Spending quality time

with our campers

to give them

positive role models

and brighter futures.

Yes, totally.

I definitely

didn't answer

an online ad

after getting fired

from community theater.

[chuckles] Well, can't let

our heart rates drop,

so I will catch you

on the flip side.

Come on, Eagles.

Last one there is...

Well, still loved by me.

Okay, no one

is that perfect.

It must be an act.

I'm not so sure.

Especially when he says

he thinks I'm hilarious.

That felt genuine.

I saw it in pageants

all the time.

On stage,

it's a perfect picture.

But behind the scenes,

the girl who said

she wanted world peace

is slap fighting

with her little sister.

Yeah, kind of like

how actors are different

when the cameras are off.

Oh, I was a monster

on my set.

The point is,

I bet if we snuck up

on him unexpectedly,

we'd see the real Ken,

napping in stained sweats,

with no idea

where his campers are.

For the record,

where's your camper?

Not sure, but she

always comes home when

she gets tired or hungry.

All right.

The next category is...

The butter

sculpting event?

And to think, I am missing

my pottery class for this.

Come on, Judge.

Can't you at least pretend

you're enjoying yourself?

I will not.

Let's go, Bill!

[clapping]

Oh, no.

The butter you will be

sculpting with today

will be Irish butter.

Salted.

Ooh, salted.

Well played, Judge.

Well played.

Hold up. Isn't all butter

just butter?

[all gasp]

You're right.

Completely insane question.

Don't worry, Bill.

I'll keep the cheer going

the whole time.

You have two hours.

Two hours?

Well, I am a man

of my word.

Just remember,

y'all could've

had the wave.

Let's go, Bill!

[claps]

Let's go, Bill!

[claps]

Hello, rock bottom.

Let's go, Bill!

Let's go, Bill!

Something's not right.

[sniffing]

Who stole my tuna sandwich

and expired propane?

Show yourself.

It's okay.

It's just me.

And that thing

you're smelling

is clean.

You cleaned my cabin?

Sure did.

Using only the best

cleaning supplies, friend.

Fun fact.

This end is supposed

to point away from your face.

You really didn't have

to do that.

It was nothing.

So does my nice to you

make you want

to say anything,

maybe something you forgot

to say earlier

and have been

kicking yourself

about ever since.

[chuckles nervously] Uh...

Yeah.

Thanks, pal.

Pal?

Pal?

I did not unclog

the toilet for pal.

Shh. I think I hear him.

[Ken] Seriously.

Not another peep

out of any of you.

See, he's yelling

at his campers.

How's that

for perfect?

Let's go in and save them

and be the heroes.

Who's Robin Hood

now, Ken?

Hey, guys, if you make noise,

I know where you are.

And those are not the rules

of blind man's bluff.

Oh, man I love game night.

You've got to be

kidding me.

Oh, hey, look,

we have guests.

Do you two

want to join?

It was Maddox's turn

to pick the game.

Hooray for leadership

opportunities

and autonomy over our free time.

Right, kids?

Sorry to bother you.

We, uh, walked into

the wrong cabin.

Who's idea was it

to make everything

out of wood here?

I mean, we get it.

It's a ranch.

Okay, bye.

-[beeps]

-Uh-oh.

You can't leave now.

The fresh baked cookies

are done.

How does he always have

cookies in the oven?

And where is the oven?

He is a wizard.

[barks]

[Ken] Norbert.

Didn't I put you

in a sit stay?

Who am I kidding?

I can't stay mad at you.

After all,

you really rescued me.

And Norbert

is here because...

Oh, I train

emotional support animals.

Of course you do.

Noah, get me out of here.

Oh, no, not again.

Winnie, I brought you

a present, but we have

to be very quiet,

or what's inside the box

might get scared.

What is inside the box?

Well, because,

I'm such a great friend.

I know you love

pointy things.

So I got you the pointiest

animal I could find.

A porcupine?

Ow!

So that's what happens

when porcupines get scared.

Uh-huh.

Would you please excuse me

for a moment?

[Jake screams]

If it's more manageable,

I'd also accept

a sea urchin.

Let's go, Bill.

Ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow!

Okay. Time's up.

Yes, finally!

Out of my way.

[sighs] Sweet mercy.

Oh, don't look at me

like that.

Your precious sodas

are fine.

I've made my decision.

You and you

are the finalists?

Yes! Hey,

can I have this?

We'll see you both in the final

competition later today,

and I think we all know

who the loser is.

This lady.

Great job, Bill.

Smile for the camera.

Hey, would you mind

jumping in with us?

What about me says

I would enjoy that?

Who is this guy?

Who knows?

Randos just find me.

I've got a very popular

butter blog.

A must-read. It's called

"Churn't up."

Of course it is.

Hey, what's going on?

Why are you pretending

you don't know me?

It's just, you're being

a little embarrassing.

Sorry, did you mean

to say cool and supportive?

All the cheering

and pictures.

This isn't curling.

I see.

Don't take this

the wrong way,

but would it be possible

for you to maybe not come

to the last event?

Oh, uh...

If that's what you want,

then I won't be there.

Good luck

in the competition.

If anyone needs me,

I'll just be canceling

the skywriter.

[airplane engine whirring]

Too late.

These cookies

are so good.

[muffled] I hate it!

Hey, guys. What are you doing

with Norbert?

We had a difficult

afternoon, and we needed

some emotional support.

Did you know Ken

has trained Norbert

to sit, stay,

and listen

without judgment?

Okay, well,

while I have you,

how about I give you next

week's activity assignment?

[both] No Ken!

So, what I'm hearing is,

"No Ken."

Seriously, Lou,

we can't take it.

The man can fold

a fitted sheet.

He is a wizard!

Uh-huh.

Listen, have you guys

ever thought

that maybe the reason

you don't like Ken

isn't because he's annoying,

but because

you're jealous?

Jealous?

-Us?

-Us?

Would someone who's jealous

say "Us" so loudly?

All I'm saying is Ken

is a great counselor

and so are you guys.

You should give him

another chance.

I'll bet if you joined

forces with him

instead of avoiding him,

you'd learn a lot

from each other.

I guess we have been

a little unfair

and maybe more

than a little jealous.

Yeah.

Ken is a great guy.

You're right, Lou.

Thanks for

the attitude check.

We'll give Ken

a chance,

even if he is

annoyingly perfect.

I'm proud of both of you.

That is very mature.

Hey, guys.

Oh, Lou, I found

some typos in your flyer

for the archery tournament.

But do not worry.

I went ahead

and fixed him for you.

You should really

swing by one

of my spelling

workshops sometime. Ciao.

Okay, Ken's fired.

Throughout the summer,

our competitors

have fed, groomed,

and if they've

done it right, fallen in love

with their respective animals.

And now let

the judging commence.

Oh, wait. That's me.

Uh... Come here, sheep.

I'm weirdly

nervous, Martha.

Why do you think that is?

[bleats]

I knew you'd say that.

Yes, of course

I feel guilty,

but Parker was being

so embarrassing.

[bleats]

Can't you take

my side for once?

Okay, guys,

bring them around.

And please keep cross talk

with sheep to a minimum.

-Let's go.

-[bleats]

[bleats]

These are actually

some nice sheep.

Twist! [chuckles]

Um, other

direction, please.

[sheep bleats]

Okay.

Okay.

This is starting

to take the sting out

of missing pottery class.

Uh, competitors, halt.

The winner

of the triathlon is...

Bill Pickett!

[all applauding]

I did it. I won!

Why doesn't it feel

as good as it should?

[bleats]

You're right.

I wish Parker

was here, too.

Wish granted!

Parker, you came?

I wouldn't miss this

for the world.

I'm just relieved you guys

didn't do manure sculptures.

I'm so glad

you're here.

Wish you'd just hidden

under the bleachers,

but butter Parker

works, too.

I'm really sorry about

embarrassing you earlier.

I'm just...

I'm so proud of you.

I couldn't help myself.

Like, right now,

I really want to start

an awesome chant,

but I'mma keep it cool.

You know what?

Don't keep it cool.

Gets nuts.

Yes!

Bill's our champ!

[clapping]

Bill's our champ!

Oh, what the heck!

Bill's our champ!

Yeah!

Bill's our champ!

Hey, Jake.

I think

we need to talk.

Talk?

To what are you referring?

About how you told me

I'm one of your best friends

and I didn't say it back.

I know I hurt

your feelings.

Oh. You picked up on that?

Uh, yeah.

You're about as subtle

as a sledgehammer

I hid under Destiny's bed

that she found,

so I had to hide it

under Noah's bed.

I just thought if

I showed you what

a good friend I am,

maybe you'd

say it back,

but it's okay

if you don't feel

the same way about me.

No, Jake, that's not it.

This is all just kind

of hard for me because

I used to have

a best friend.

Used to? What happened?

We spent all of fourth grade

getting super close,

but when the school year ended,

we lost touch.

And with camp ending soon,

I guess...

I'm afraid you and I

will lose touch, too.

Winnie, that's not

gonna happen.

We're not just camp friends.

We're friends for life.

Given that you stabbed

yourself with a porcupine

for me today,

I'm starting to get that.

Come on. I have

a surprise for you.

It's not a box full

of tiny swords, is it?

'Cause I already

have one of those.

Ta-dah!

Yay! A wooden frame.

Thank you.

Just wait for it.

"Winnie and Jake

BFFs!"?

Are you for real?

Nothing is more real

than cannons.

Thanks, Winnie.

This means a lot.

[both] Psh, psh, pew!

Well, now that

that's cleared up,

want to go sledgehammer

some stuff with me

and deny we did it, later?

What are

best friends for?

[Lou] Ow!

Whose box is this?

-Cinnamon?

-Close.

-Nutmeg?

-Getting colder.

-Cardamom!

-That's it!

-That's good.

-Yeah!

Fantastic. Thanks for

the recipe, Ken.

This is going to make us

really popular

with the campers.

And thank you, Noah.

For the trick

on how to get a campers head

unstuck from a tree hole.

Of course, and always remember

the most important part.

Keep your head

on a swivel for a squirrel

with a vendetta.

[laughing] Weird, but okay.

Guys, this has really

been amazing.

Thank you for asking

to hang out.

I really don't know

why we haven't before.

That was our fault.

But we promise from now on,

it'll happen more often.

Well, uh, I guess

we should probably

go find our campers.

You're a good

influence on us, Ken.

Right back

at you, Noah.

See you later

for blind man's bluff.

Not if I don't see you first.

[laughs] Ken,

you are too much.

Wow, those two

are annoying.

[barks]

[theme music playing]