♪ We are splitsboro kids
♪ And we go to sidekick school
♪ Learning to be second best
♪ While playing by the rules
♪ Maxum man is missing
♪ Now we rule the school
♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪
♪ And lookin' super cool
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ That's the life for me
♪ Half-sized super zeros
♪ With full-sized hero dreams
♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick
♪ What an awesome gig
♪ Just like superheroes (just like superhzeroes)
♪ But only half as big
♪ Sidekick!
♪♪♪
Maxum man feel the wind blowing... (Loud fart)
Listen to the sounds of the distant loon...
(Car tires screeching) ahhhh!
Relax your mind and be at peace...
Until side-fu time!
Agghhh!
Ho! Hi-ah!
Ahhhhh!
Side-fu is the most exciting, most amazing -
Most willing to pay me to endorse it -
Martial art in the entire world!
And now, you too can learn the ancient ways of side-fu
With my old teacher...
Sensei jimmy!
We will make fight now!
(Horks and spits)
(Chuckles)
So come on down... Agh!
Agh! Agghhhh!
Oopsie!
So come on down to sensei jimmy's side-fu centre
And get yourself a heaping hand of side-fu!
Side-fu learn it. Live it.
Hi-yah!
Agghhh!
Eventually heal from the bruises of it!
(Pained groans)
Ya! (Glass shatters)
(Impressed) oooh...
Hello students!
I am sensei jimmy, side-fu master.
Pamplemoose aagggghhhhh!
Now this is the kinda class I've been waiting for!
Hee-yah! Whoa!
This is going to be so awesome!
Nothin but wall to wall butt kickin!
Oof!
Kitty I've been told it takes a while for your body to callus over."], Index ,…}
But once that happens, it's smooth sailing!
So, I think it's safe to assume
I'm missing something here.
Trevor oh yeah. Kitty I think so.
Vana duh!
Eric so when do we begin?
It has already begun.
(Gong rings)
How did you...?
(Boom)
Okay, what exactly is side-fu?
And... Ow!
Sensei jimmy side-fu is ancient art of... Being hit!
Oh, that totally makes sens... What?
To be a good sidekick,
We must put our super's safety first.
Which means you gotta suck it up and take the hit!
Man, that was good bashing!
Oof!
(Pained grunts)
This is crazy!
How are you all cool with this?
Oof! Eee! Ahhhh! Oof! Eee! Ahhhh!
Oof! Eee! Ahhhh! Oof! Eee! Ahhhh!
I could hear the ocean being hit by hundreds of fish!
(Jostled) itttt's our jjjjob as sidekkkkicks.
What's wrong? (Grunts)
You scared, huh? (Grunts)
Hey, I'm not scared!
I just think that getting hit repeatedly by fish
Is kinda, you know, dumb!
(All gasp)
You, scaredy-boy, you think side-fu dumb?
That's a little strong, but yes,
I'm comfortable with dumb.
Do not worry, scaredy-san.
I spend extra time showing you ways of the side-fu.
We start after school.
Fine. I'll see you then.
You are already here.
(Gong rings)
Eric how do you do that?!
(Claps) (mechanical whirring)
This bionic-jimmy,
Designed to break your spirit,
Take a hit like a true sidekick.
Now... Relax.
Okay, eric, you gotta do this.
Just don't think about getting hit.
Agh! It's all I can think about!
Bionic-jimmy dodging? That not side-fu way!
(Mechanical whirring)
Take this!
Agggghhhh!
(Angrily) urrrrgghhhh!
(Clang)
(Robot cries)
Wow! That's a sensitive piece of equipment.
Hmm. Interesting.
Sorry. But is there any way I can do this
Without getting pummelled, if possible...?
Thank you?
There is one way. Special training.
Only for most special students who are especially special.
I'm special! I'll do it!
What is it?
(Gasps) what kind of training is this?
You've never seen a mop and bucket before?
You're new janitor.
(Sighs)
(Coughs) whoa!
Wha!
Agh!
(Groans)
Oh, you sweep like worm chew taco. Bad.
Strong grip. Arms swing like circle.
Now, you!
Agh! Waha!
This going to take a while.
(Pained grunts)
Hey, janitor eric, mop up my sweat, would ya?
(Grunts of pain)
Hey, eric,
Wanna come over to my house after school?
Really?
Yeah! To clean my room, janitor boy.
(Sighs)
Scaredy-san! Show me dust pan move!
Agggghhhh!
Uh... Okay. I bend down,
Then pick up the dust, like this.
Ta-dah!
No good! You watch.
Hi-yah!
Ahhh!
That's kind of cool... For cleaning, I mean.
Hmm.
Students, I've signed you all up for side-fu tournament!
(Gasps)
Except eric who is janitor.
(Cheering)
(Groans)
Finally, I get to be pummelled in public!
I love side-fu!
Oof! Wicked!
Yah!
Pamplemoose welcome to zee zide-fu tournament.
Za more hits you take, za more points you get.
Let's get ready to beee pummmeeellleed!
I'd wish you good luck,
But I wouldn't mean it.
Good luck.
Agh! I can't help myself!
(Ding)
Come and hit me!
Come on! He had magnets!
Someone get me magnets! I need magnets!
It over, kitty. It over.
Pamplemoose winner, zee henchmen!
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
Next event zee harder you hit zee wall,
Zee more points you get.
Nobody hits a wall like me! Nobody!
(Laughs)
(Ding)
Arrrgggghhhhh!
Henchman win again!
(Crowd cheering)
Yay!
Finally, ze freestyle event!
First up, miiiiidge!
(Cracking)
(Cracking)
Agggghhhh!
Aggggghhh!
Aggghhh!
(Ceiling crashes, chandalier smashes)
(Piano crashes)
(Bell dings)
Henchman's score !
Now, up for zee sidekicks... Treeeevor!
(Crowd cheers)
(Giddy laughter)
You guys are goin' sooo dooowwwwnnn!
(Liquid sloshes)
You might wanna stand back.
Um, what's he up to?
I think... Something beautiful!
Beeeeeeeeeellllch!!!
Pamplemoose very impressive!
But out of bounds! Disqualified!
Zo, the task goes to your listed alternate...
(Gasps) eric needles!
All (gasp)
Me? An alternate?
But I don't like getting hit, remember?
Plus, I haven't learned any moves at all!
Haven't you?
Nope.
Haven't you?
No. No, I have not.
But haven't you?
No! All I learned was the ancient
And mysterious way of mopping and sweeping,
And picking up dust!
Vana come on, eric. We can't lose this!
Just get in there and get beaten up.
You're naturally good at that!
So? What will you do, scaredy-san?
Agh! Okay, okay.
I'll go clean the toilets.
Wait... I get it!
Wha! Katcha!
Being a janitor,
Learning your sweeping techniques,
And enduring all that humiliation
Prepared me for this
Way better than any dojo training!
Right?
Um, yeah. Sure!
Okay, I'll do it.
We are gonna win this thing...
Mop-fu style!
Hey, who turned off the lights?
Hi-yah!
Stand back!
Crowd (cheering wildly)
(Whooshing)
(Wind gusts)
(Wild cheering)
(Wind gusts)
He's do-ink it!
Or at least he's do-ink someting!
(Gasps)
(Cheering wildly)
Whoo-hooo! Squealing!
Ha! Ha! You've been cleaned out!
(Laughs)
Well done, eric,
You have... Lost it for ze sidekicks!
(All gasp)
What?
By pummelling on ze henchmen,
You have actually given zem more points.
They win!
(Bell dings) henchman yay!
We lost again. Thanks, eric.
Well, at least the place is clean.
Trevor hey, what happened?
What's going on? Who won?
Where's my soda?
(Huge belch)
Okay.
Well done, scaredy, um, eric-san.
Well done.
Now clean up dojo! This place mess-sy.
Oh, and don't forget the toilets.
Pizza, orange soda, and violent shaking
Do not go together!
Ha ha!
Very wise, trevor-san. Very wise.
♪♪♪
(Old western music)
(Wind gusts, glass shatters)
You ready?
You got it, pardner.
(Rumbling)
Nerds oh! Oh! Ehhh! Oh!
(Inhales and exhales) nerds!
I love the smell of acne cream
In the evening.
Isn't it awesome that we -
Actually, I -
Was personally invited here?
This thing knows your name?!
(Gasps) and your address?!
It's an invitation
To the super science fiction and role-playing comic
Video game convention!
The su-sci-fi-ro-play-com vid-ga con?
Again, yes.
The organizer wants me to give the keynote speech!
We're gonna be convention vips!
Um, that's v.i.ps.
Whoa! Kings of the geeks!
That's right.
Let's get in there so I can start my reign!
(Gasps)
(In awe) you! It's you!
Go right in, sir!
Agh!
Hey, thanks.
I'm timmy.
The organizer of the su-sci-fi ro-play-com-vid-ga-con.
Oh, right.
I am so stoked for my speech:
"Ironing super-suits,
A sidekick's menial-est challenge."
Ah! Is that an original "maxum man's sidekick eric"
Sidekick outfit?
Uh...yes, it's my clothing.
(Whimpering)
Yes! Well...
I'll see you before your speech.
In the meantime. Enjoy the convention!
Trevor and erica (gasp)
It's...geek-tastic!
(Grunts and laughs)
Hey, I was promised a coffee!
Where's my sweetener?
Touche.
Say cheese!
(Exited) whoa! Hey!
It's him!
I hope he signs my hair!
He seems much smaller in person and weaker...
And smells!
Yeah, I could get used to this!
Vana well, well...
What a surprise to see you guys in nerd city.
Vana? At a comic convention?!
Hey, I'm just here to catch kitty if she faints.
Joshua sideburns, the star of bandages,
Is signing autographs... (Fainting moan)
I don't get what's so great about those movies.
Just a bunch of teen mummies
Unearthed from under the pyramids
Looking for true love!
They do have good hair.
There he is!
(Yelling exitedly)
I apologize in advance, guys;
This may get ugly.
(Exited yelling) look at me, joshua!
Kitty joshuaaaaaaaaaa!
Ugh. I think this geekiness is totally...
(Gasps)
Angie the aardvark?
No way!
The groovy-time space station!
(Music plays)
This is the original angie!
I've had it since I was minutes old!
Isn't that wight? Isn't it, wittle angie wangie?
(Crickets chirp)
Guys?
Psssttt!
(Panting)
Ahhhh!
Uh, hey, guys! How's it going?
Are you enjoying the convention so far?
Have you ever played with an angie the aardvark doll?
He's clean.
I mean, I do own hundreds of angie the aardvark dolls,
But I'd never open their package
To play with them!
(Crazed laughter)
That would be ridiculous.
Uh, great.
(Gasps)
Are those... Are those?!
Yup. Captain zorb's ears!
Looks like captain zorb never heard of cotton swabs.
Watch it!
This is a priceless maxum man-related collectible!
I mean, I'll catch you later.
I mean, capture you. I mean... See ya.
Well, he seemed nice... For a weirdo.
What say we blow this nerd stand
And get us some snacks?
Now your talkin'.
Mint condition fools! You've fallen into my trap!
I am mint condition,
The greatest collector of memorabilia ever,
And I have lured my greatest prize into my-
Kitty joshua, I love you!
(Clears throat)
I have the greatest super collection in the world
And now it will be complete.
Once I add eric, sidekick to maxum man,
The world's greatest hero
An therefore the world's greatest sidekick!
That totally doesn't sound like you, dude.
I really should have known
That no one would actually want me to speak publicly.
Not after last time.
Uh...testing, one, two.
(Giggles, mic feedback squeals)
Aghhhh!
(expl*si*n)
Now, in the spirit of a thousand action movies,
I offer you the crushing you slowly spiky wall trap!
(Rumbles)
You cannot escape its... Uh, wall-i-ness!
If this is it,
Then, I'm glad to have known you, trevor.
I wish I could say the same!
(Bird chirps)
Uh, I guess we could just... Leave?
Trevor sure. Whatev.
See you later, minty.
Nooooooo!
(Humming)
Mint condition argh!
Whoa!
Out of my way, inferior collectors!
We gotta get away from this guy.
I don't want to be collected!
Though it is nice to be wanted.
Agh! You think you can escape me?
I'm the villain who pilfered maxum man's tennis shoes!
And swiped maxum man's buffet bib!
And I'm the one who collected maxum man's underwear!
Can you believe he was just throwing it away?
(Sniffs, foghorn bellows)
Eric steady, steady...
He's almost gone!
He's coming back.
He's looking right at me.
I should not be talking while we're hiding.
You cannot escape me that easily!
Cootchie-cootchie-coo!
Not ticklish, huh?
Agh!
Joshuaaaa! Joshua, I'm coming!
I'm coming, joshua!
Ugh! Keep your voice down, kitty!
You're embarrassing yourself.
Fans (screaming)
(Fainting moan)
Okay, then you're embarrassing me!
(Gasps) I knew it!
He's a decoy
And that's the real joshua in disguise.
This time, I'm getting that autograph,
And maybe some of his sideburn hair! (Giggles)
Joshuaaa!
It's me, kitty! Your biggest fan!
Nooooo!
What have you done with joshua!
Uh, I mean...
Guys, what're you doing here?!
Mint condition oh, don't mind them,
They're just getting collected!
I am not memorabilia!
I'm not even memorable.
Ask anybody!
It's true.
It's over, sidekick. You're mine!
Not a chance, minty.
See? There's only one of you and four of us.
How 'bout we even the odds
With my one-of-a-kind zombie ray?!
Purchased at a dr. Not-so-dead's mad scientist's lab
Close-out sale!
(Zombie ray blasts)
(Zombie like moaning)
Mint condition an army of collectors,
Transformed into a single-minded zombie force
And ready to collect... You!
Are you sure they're zombies?
I don't really see a difference.
Relax.
If I recall "zombie drive-in waiters " correctly -
And I do -
They're just gonna try to pull off our faces
And eat them.
Eric, this is no movie! What do we do?
Oh, right! Runnnnn!
Huh. They didn't even touch us.
We're girls, kitty.
Nerds, zombie nerds, they all fear us.
Ahhhh!
(Moaning)
Ooh, second printing.
Dead end.
You'd think we could outrun them.
Yeah, we really shouldn't have stopped
At that nacho cart.
Mmm... (Eating noisily)
(Splat)
Oops!
(Everyone gasps)
I think I got it!
Who wants it?
An original eric the sidekick outfit!
Which I just autographed... In cheese.
All yeah!
Mint condition what's going on here?!
I thought i... (Gasps)
Maxum man's sidekick eric's sidekick outfit!
Me! Me! Give it to me!
It's all yours!
(Crazed laughter)
(Gasps)
No! No! It's mine!
Miiiiiine!!!
(Struggling)
(Screaming) I want it! I want it!
Huh. The creepy, obsessed-with-maxum-man kid
Who invited us here
Turned out to be a villain.
Go figure.
You don't have any clothes on.
Well, I'm just glad you're safe.
Oh, okay, I've still got time to scale the hotel
And hide in joshua's suitcase
Before he flies to the airport! Bye!
Ha ha! Whoo-hoo!
So sad.
Little angie wangie.
Eric now what do we do?
(Loud crash)
Run from that guy?
I am the autographer.
Now, sidekick, you're going to sign this photo,
Or the angie the aardvark limited edition
French mime doll get's it!
(att*ck yell) ahhhhh!
Autographer give that back! Vana mine! Mine! Mine!
Autographer she's special, please.
Vana mine! Mine!
Man, why do we even come to these conventions?
Because we're nerds.
Oh, yeah. Totally.
(Nacho hat crunches loudly)
01x15 - Everybody is Side-Fu Fighting / Comic Book Zombies
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Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.
Series is about an orphan boy named Eric, with his best friend Trevor and his two female friends, Vana and Kitty, who are training to become superhero sidekicks at the Academy.