01x20 - Match Dot Com / Stupor-ize Me

[bunniefuu]

♪ We are splitsboro kids


♪ And we go to sidekick school


♪ Learning to be second best


♪ While playing by the rules


♪ Maxum man is missing


♪ Now we rule the school


♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪


♪ And lookin' super cool


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ That's the life for me


♪ Half-sized super zeros


♪ With full-sized hero dreams


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ What an awesome gig


♪ Just like superheroes (just like superhzeroes)


♪ But only half as big


♪ Sidekick!


♪♪♪


(Arrows fire rapidly)


Ahhhhhhhh!


(Arrows fire rapidly)


Dude! I love v-day!


Sweet! A valentine from betty!


(Evil laughter)


(Sighs) such grace.


She's taking me


To the valentine's dance tonight.


(Giggles giddily)


So, eric,


Are you going to the dance, with someone special,


Who is standing right in front of you?


But vana's not in front of me,


She's over there.


Cupid (screams) vana hiiii-yah!


Cupid (in pain) ungh!


(Hearts shatter, kitty sobs)


There's still like... Four hours till the dance.


I'm just waiting for the right moment!


(Fleeing grunts)


Hey, vana! You, me, v-day dance. Six bells.


Hows 'bout it?


Aw, eric...


I told kid ruthless I'd go with him weeks ago!


(Angrily) aw!


But if it makes you feel any better,


I wouldn't have gone with you anyway.


Phew! That's a relief.


Hey!


Happy valentines day!


Ahhhhhh!


Yeah, he's got a "thing" about mascots.


Sorry, valentine bear.


Whatever.


Pamplemoose herr needles!


I saw your little freak-out session!


Zat weakness vil be goink on your permanent record!


All (gasp)


What's that?


Oh, your permanent record lists


All kinds of neat stuff:


Test scores, toe nail sharpness,


Favourite knock-knock jokes, fears und weaknesses...


Weaknesses?!


I don't want people knowing that stuff about me!


Zat is why I keep them


In zee ultra high-tech- impenetrable-


No-expense-spared lockdown security desk!


(Loud thud, papers flutter)


Maxum brain you waited until today to ask her to the dance?


And then she was saying no?


(Laughing)


Whatever.


I'll just take someone even cooler than vana


To the dance!


Sorry, eric.


Tonight, my hair I will be needing to wash! Haha!


And I am not even having hair!


And that is why it is so funny.


(Laughing gleefully)


I really wish I could help you with your love life.


You can.


Really? (Disappointed) aw.


I could totally find my perfect match


Using maxum man's super database...


If you let me use it.


What choice do I have?


None.


Okay, enter my character traits.


I like purple cereal, recess, cool gadgets,


Gadgets attached to other gadgets,


Tulips...


Whew! And words that end with zonk!


Sweet! Traits should help me find a perfect match.


Aha! Mandy struction.


Hah! Here goes...


(Phone rings)


(Yelling on the phone)


(Clears his throat)


Hi, is this the struction residence?


Uh... Is mandy in?



Uh, my name is eric and I wanted to ask her


If she wanted to (gags) hold on...


(Vomits)


If she, um, wants to go to a dance?


Eric so... Your mom sounded nice.


Yeah. She said she got a kick out of you


On the phone,


Even though you kept throwing up.


Yeah. Good times.


Just so you know, I hate dancing.


Really? Me too!


Dancing is just so... Lame!


Hey, nice!


I say lame all the time!


I get called lame all the time.


(Both laugh)


Hey, cool shoes. Are they new?


Um, kinda. They're custom-made.


No way! I wear special shoes too!


You know, stank feet.


(Odour hisses, flies buzz and scream)


(Both laugh)


We have so much in common!


It's-it's like somebody used a supercomputer


To find us both a perfect match!


Heh! Crazy!


(Awkwardly) heh, heh! Yeah. Uh, crazy.


Hey, let's go in to the dance!


(Party laughter and chatter)


Hi, pretty new girl,


Who seems to have appeared out if thin air


To ruin my life.


I'm so happy eric brought you with him.


I'm here with someone too, you know!


Allan amazing!


Know why they call him that?


Because he is amazing!


(Wheezing)


Mandy that's...great. Um, good for you!


So, who's your valentine, eric?


Guys, this is mandy.


Mandy, this is vana, trevor, and kitty.


(Giggles)


Hi.


Mandy you say?


And you contend that you are not a robot, correct?


What? Trevor?


A-ha! Trevor!


(Coughs)


Hmm... No sparks. Story checks out.


Vana well, enjoy the dance, mandy.


So sorry about that.


It's cool. They're your friends.


They just wanna look out you.


Wow! I make excuses


For my friend's crazy behaviour too!


We're so alike!


Needles! Vy are you shmiling?


Za punch? Za music? It's shnappy, ja?!


One more shmile


Und it goes on your permanent record!


I'm vatchink you!


That was my teacher, pamplemoose.


He keeps permanent records of every sidekick's likes,


Dislikes, toenail sharpness,


Vulnerabilities.


Really? Vulnerabilities?


And they're in this rickety old desk


In room .


Yup, good ol' two-one-eight...


Dos uno ocho.


Top left drawer.


Huh. That's very interesting.


Very detailed and very interesting.


Vana I can't believe eric's valentine


Turned out to be cooler than ours!


(Belches loudly)


Hey, speak for yourself!


My valentine is wicked dreamy.


Hi-ya! Ha!


(Manly sinister laugh)


Her art totally speaks to me.


I know I've seen mandy before,


But where?!


We need a hair sample to analyze!


I hope my friends aren't weirding you out too much.


They're normally a lot nicer.


No hair samples!


Come on, let's forget about these guys


And go have some fun!


(Laughing)


(Spray hisses)


(Laughing)


(Laser blasts)


(Laughing)


(Cheering)


Wooo-ha-ha-ha!


(In pain) awwwwwww!


(Laughing)


I'm really glad you came to my school dance.



I haven't even asked what school you go to.


Oh, I assumed you knew. I go to...


(Muffled) mmm... That's good punch!


Has a bit of a bite to it.


(Laughs)


I like him. He's funny.


Oh, I almost forgot.


I was supposed to call my parents and check in.


Cool. I'll wait for you here.


Vana eric, there's something weird about mandy.


I mean, besides the fact she came here with you.


We're sure we know her from somewhere.


We just can't place it.


Pfft! You guys are just ticked


That you missed your chance with big e.


(Phone rings)


Hold on, it's maxum brain.


Eric, how is it going?! I don't care.


Tell me, why was the supervillain database


Being open to the file of mandy struction?


We have a supervillain database?


Vana wait... Mandy struction?!


She's from the evil side of town!


I knew it!


(Gasps) the struction family runs


The splittsboro crime syndicate:


The massdeestructions!


They levelled ten banks in two days


With their seizmo-shoes!


Shoes that can cause earthquakes.


Duh! It was all over the news.


(Angry grunt)


Snap out of it!


Oh, sure! She's here with me


So that must make her terrible and weird


And evil, right?


Well, I think she's cool!


Security system warning! Classroom security breached by intruder


Who at first seemed really cool,


But then turned out to be evil.


Warning! Warning!


Warning! Warning!


Okay! She's evil.


But I really think we can work past it!


Kitty she's got our permanent records!


Eric, it's not what it looks like.


Yes, yes it is.


(Rumbling)


All (gasp)


Eric, I thought you said you had a lot in common?


Hmm... We do!


And that might just be the way to defeat her.


Come on, mom! Where are you?


Eric! Stay back or I'll...


Mandy, wait. I have to know...


Am I really just a pawn in some evil game


Or did you really like me?


No, eric! Honestly.


You make me feel something I've never felt before.


Like your gonna barf out your nose?


Me too!


The feeling part, not the barf part.


You don't have to be evil, do you?


You could come to sidekick school!


Hang out with us!


Or you could come with me


To the evil henchmen vocational school


And we could do fun, evil things together!


I can't;


I'm maxum man's sidekick, remember?


Plus I'm no good at evil faces.


Then I guess this is where we fight it out.


Yep. I'm sorry it's come to this, but... Now!


(Heavy footsteps approach)


You're not afraid of mascots?


But I thought we were exactly the same!


Uh, nope. No. No.


I'm fine with fuzzy animals.


For me, it's mimes.


I mean, the freaky white faces...


And they don't talk. Why don't they talk?!


Pfft! I know, right?


Kitty (as mascot) can I take this thing off? It's hot in here!


Oh, sure, kitty, just...


Aahhhhh!


Whoa!


Whoa!


Heeelllpppp!


Eric!


Agh!


Yaaaaah!


Thank you, mascot bear,


Or I guess kitty. Still, yay!


Nice move, eric. Mandy escaped.


Yeah. I guess I really messed up.


She got away.


Then why are you smiling?


Eric what?


You were smiling when you said she got away.


Eric no, I wasn't.



You're smiling right now!


Am i?


You're still thinking about her, aren't you?


I don't think I can ever forget her.


(Sighs)


(Roars)


Ahhhhhh!


♪♪♪


Welcome to maxum man's swellburger


Employee training program!


So, you got a job. Now what do you do?


I've never had one, so I have no clue!


But you're not me,


And never forget it.


At swellburger, when the assistant manager


In charge of grilled food and super toilet paper


Orders you to repair the thermo-nuclear oven,


You say, "yes, most amazing man in the world"!


Or maybe people just say that to me,


I really don't know!


Whoa! (Glass shatters)


Uh-oh!


(Electricity fizzles)


I'm okay.


(expl*si*n) ahhhhhhhhh!


Ahem! As a swellburger employee, you work for me.


I ask for your loyalty, I ask for your honesty.


I ask for % of everything you earn!


Good luck,


And welcome to the swellburger team!


(Laughing)


Money, money, money!


Trevor maxum man is making you work here?


(Sighs) as % owner of swell enterprises,


He left orders that before I become a full sidekick,


I have to work at swellburger.


But why am I here?


You know how scared I am of the word "work."


("Work" echoes)


If I have to work here, so do you.


It's a best friend rule.


Hmm. Do I look like I follow rules?


Um, you look like you follow lemmings.


Let's get this over with, newbs.


I'm sammy.


I'll be your supervisor- slash-overlord.


You will do what I say, when I say it.


So you guys go to that stuffy, sidekick academy,


Run by know-it-alls


Who wouldn't recognize the perfect student


If he hid in their houses and begged them, right?


Uh...it's pretty cool,


Except for the pummelling during training.


And at home sleeping


When vana comes over to pummel you.


Ow! Oof! What?!


I'm sleeping.


Enough dawdling!


Time to turn you lazy blobs


Into highly trained fast food employees!


Trevor (farts)


But I love being a blob.


Oooohhhh!


Here's where burger flipping goes down,


With the boffo burger flipper .


(Burgers sizzle, flipper whirs)


Both sweet!


Sammy here's where we make our swelly fries.


(Mechanical whir)


(Flames roar)


Trevor ooh! Let me try!


Mmm.


Needs salt.


This is swellburger's turbo-thick


Swelly-shake swellomachine.


Yeeeessss!


Ta ta ta. Hands off!


Only employees with assistant manager security clearance


Can touch the swelly-shake machine!


That's awesome, dude.


(Mechanical whir)


(Sloshes)


Yeahhhhh!


Oh, you want this, huh?


Mister goes-to-a school-that has-constantly-rejected-me


And-filled-me-with-enormous- amounts-of-fury-and-rage?!


Um... Sure?


Well, you can't have it! (Slurps shake)


You start your cleaning! Move it, move it,


(Slurps shake) move it!


Hey, how come you get the cool mop?


Um... Maxum man's sidekick? Duh.


(Grunts of effort)


(Objects clatter)


(Electricity fizzles, all yell)


You can't even mop!


How did you even get into the academy?


No other school would take me.


Not even home school!


Yeah. And I just showed up.



What?! You mean you didn't get turned down


Every time you applied?


Nope. You have to apply?


You think you're so special, huh?


Well, I'll give you something special


You'll never forget!


(Cart wheels squeak)


Ooh, I hope it's a raise.


We've totally earned it.


(Electricity fizzles) ahhhhhhhh!


(Laughing and chattering)


Trevor ya! Agh! Whoa! (Spatulas clink)


Welcome to swellburger. Can I take your order?


(Laughing)


Look, you want a swelly combo or what?


(Laughing)


Sorry, eric, she made me promise


To let her laugh for a while.


(Whispers) you look cute in that uniform.


I know! Fits me like a really dirty and used glove!


(Spatulas whir)


(Trevor's face sizzles)


So are these your "sidekick" friends?


I'm more of a soul mate than a friend.


Eric what? Kitty what?


Well, how would you ladies like a free milkshake


From our newly "repaired" swelly shake machine?


Has he touched them?


I'll destroy you!


(Cow moos)


Floor food!


(Eating and growling like a dog)


Oh, mere workers are not allowed to even look


At the swellomachine.


Then I would love one!


Oh yes, I'm sure you'll love our new


And improved swelly shakes.


I know I will!


(Evil laughter)


Sammy free swelly shakes!


All yay!


I heard that these shakes are so thick,


You get a hernia sucking them through a straw!


(Slurping hard)


(Groans) I think I just got one!


It - was - totally - worth it!


(Slurps)


Eric can we go now?


Did you finish cleaning the grill?


Yes, and we used our tongues.


Then I guess you can go.


Tomorrow you'll rinse out the dragon's lair.


Wear fire-proof everything.


Eric what are they all still doing here?


Hey, guys.


Vana person? (Groans)


We're closing up,


So it's time to get out of here and go home.


Where do I live? Is it there?


I didn't know kitty moved!


She didn't.


Something's going on here.


They aren't themselves.


Only one way to check for sure.


Hey vana, pummel eric!


Trevor!


(Moaning)


Pummelling me is second nature to vana.


Something's really wrong.


(Laughing)


Sidekick essense... Pouring in!


I can feel the power, the training.


Now the academy won't be able to turn me down!


I will be a super sidekick!


(Evil laughter)


Why do I feel like pummelling eric?


Sammy, I think something's wrong!


The customers are-


Hey, hey, hey! What's up with my two favourite,


And only employees?


Like an hour ago,


You said we were the worst workers


You have ever seen.


A manager can change his mind, can't he?


And I want to reward you


With your very own swelly shakes!


Eric no thanks. I'm lactose intolerant.


And I'm the one that has to clean these bathrooms.


Ooh! I'll take his!


(Slurping)


Trevor?


Weird smelly person?


What'd you put in these shakes?


It's what I take out of them that counts!


Ew, you're drinking trevor!


You bet I am!


(Maniacal laugh)


(Slurping)


You have a tea party with dolls every night before bed?


What? Only trevor knows that!



And it's only because I like tea!


And so do the dolls! They love it!


(Whistling)


(Hot tea sizzles)


Ahhhh!


You won't get away with this, sammy.


Big talk, eric.


But you're only one sidekick.


How'd you like to take on


The whole sidekick academy?!


(Grunts of effort)


There's only one person


Who can hit all my weak spots


Vana!


Ahhhh!


Ungh!


And you knew what trevor knew.


Y-you stole all their knowledge!


That's why they're all zombies.


And you're about to join them.


Drink?


Uh, no.


Hmm... Then, we'll do it the hard way!


(Winces)


A-ha!


How do you like our fries - flame broiled?!


(Flames roar)


You forgot, I'm super-sidekick now!


I have all their abilities...


Their consciousness...


All their sidekick tricks!


Agh!


Did you get their bad habits too?


Like trevor's love of floor-food?


No! Stop! What are you doing?


I can't stop myself.


(Slurping)


(Crying)


Eric hey, sammy!


Suck it up, so-called super-sidekick!


Ow! I bit my tongue.


(Loud sucking noise)


All the sidekick essence... Gone.


Now I'll never get into the sidekick academy!


That's right! And...


Wait! You did all this to get into the academy?


(Zombie-like moaning)


I can't believe you got me accepted,


And on the recommendation of maxum man himself!


Who wrote in crayon for some reason...


(Nervous chuckle)


My dreams have all come true!


There's nothing else in the whole wide wo-


(Owl hoots)


(Thuds into window, glass shatters)


Woo hoo! I've been accepted


At the evil henchmen vocational institute!


But I thought getting into sidekick school


Was your greatest dream?


Yeah... Yeah...


But it was actually my fallback dream.


I mean, I am evil!


(Evil laughter)


Oooookaaaay!


Time to restore all you sidekicks.


Now how do i...


(Machine whirs)


(Loud splat)


Trevor (as kitty) ah, sweet! Stawberry.


And I got all my computer hacking skills back.


What? Wait a minute.


(As trevor) why do I feel like destroying the school?


(As kitty) why don't I feel like destroying the school?


Why do I like school?


Uh-oh!


Kitty (as vana) I'm sorry, eric!


I have to pummel you!


I can't fight the urge! Run!


(Screams)