01x23 - Little Orphan Eric / Lights, Camera, Sidekick Action

[bunniefuu]

♪ We are splitsboro kids


♪ And we go to sidekick school


♪ Learning to be second best


♪ While playing by the rules


♪ Maxum man is missing


♪ Now we rule the school


♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪


♪ And lookin' super cool


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ That's the life for me


♪ Half-sized super zeros


♪ With full-sized hero dreams


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ What an awesome gig


♪ Just like superheroes (just like superhzeroes)


♪ But only half as big


♪ Sidekick!


♪♪♪


(Thunder claps)


Vana needles, what are we doing here?!


Eric my former headmistress said the orphanage


At the is checking up on me.


So please don't say anything bad, okay?


You actually lived in this dump?!


Uh... Yeah...


(Thunder claps)


(Birds chirp) huh?


Hmm?


(Laughs)


(Zap!) Ahhhh!


I for sure deserved that.


Kitty hello?


Eric, it's deserted.


All ahhhhh!


I am meredith mushpickle,


Headmistress here at mushpickle's home


For parentally challenged youth.


Welcome back, eric.


Um... Okay.


Glen eric!!!


(Gasp) glen!


Both secret handshake!


(Effort grunts)


Wha...wha...wha... (Raspberry)


Shimmy... Shimmy... Shimmy...


(Watch ticks)


(Snoring)


(Grunts, spit)


Annnnnd...done!


Oh, brother.


C'mon, we're orphans. We had a lot of time to k*ll.


Glen, this is vana,


Kitty, trevor,


Trevor's dad,


And professor pamplemoose.


(Clanks)


Glen nice to meet all of you!


Dude, you gotta see my room! (Chuckle)


Vana what's with the power hugs?


(Pained groan) I think he popped something.


(Fars)


He has some... Abandonment issues.


Banana mint shoes?


Eric he fears people leaving him.


Just don't say goodbye...


Never... Under any circumstance...


Ever!


Glen well, whaddya think?


Hmmm...


Wow! Not creepy at all!


I don't know what to say.


Yeah. (Chuckle) I knew you'd like it.


You know, I really missed you, buddy!


I know, glen.


Hey! Off! Off!


Mushpickle ah hah!


All (startled) ahhh!


How does she do that?


Interview time!


And for eric's sake,


Let's hope I get the answers I want!


Move!


All ahhhhh!


Trevor bye, glen!


Oops.


(Sniffs)


Trevor ew! Get him off! Get him off!


Glen (bawls) don't go!


Please, don't go!


Okay, just hold still. One, two-!


(Pained) gah!


Sweet.


First tell me how eric is adjusting


To life in splitsboro.


Oh, eric's fitting in great!


Like, I think at first,


It was weird for him being pummelled by a girl every day.


But he's getting used to it.


His grades? Is stinktastic a word?


What about poopvolting?



So the unicorn's like, (roar)


But eric wouldn't give back his wallet!


I keep telling him we're too young to run away


To donut island.


And that donut island isn't a real place.


But he's such a romantic! (Giggles)


Sure, he's a bit rambunctious...


And slow-witted...


And ill-mannered and potty-mouthed


And smelly and weak,


But then, who isn't at that age?


(Chuckles)


Mushpickle thank you, mr. Troublemeyer.


Please send in master xox?


(Chuckle)


(Clears throat) eric needles will be destroyed!


Do I like eric?


Do you know how to spell 'meh'?


I'm working on a computer program


That will allow me to digitally capture eric's entire being


So I can carry him around with me wherever I go.


So, yes. Yes, I like him.


Who are we talking about again?


No, I actually despise him. A lot.


I believe I vas promised a danish?


Eric how'd it go?


Don't worry bud, it went awesome. Right?


Ya huh. For sure. Whatever.


I have danish in my teeth.


(Relieved sigh)


Hey!


Mushpickle ah hah! All ahhhh!


Flunking school? Fighting unicorns?


What are we going to do with you?


Piano lessons! No wait, horseshoes!


Enough! Eric's life is splittsboro


Is fraught with danger.


His school is a sub-standard death-trap


And his friends are of low moral character.


Aaaannnnd?


Mushpickle eric stays!


The rest of you, get out of my orphanage!


All (gasp)


Eric's staying? Yeaaaahhhh!


No!


You actually think you can keep eric away from us?


We're sidekicks and we don't leave one of our own behind!


Bring it on!


But first, perhaps we should review normalton's rules


And regulations on sidekicking?


Vell, I'll be!


Engaging in any sidekick activity


In the town of normalton


Is punishable by... (Gasp)


Volunteering at ze local pool!


Well, good luck, dude.


I'll wait for you!


I won't!


What? You can't just leave me here!


Sorry man, pools are for peeing in,


Not whatever he said.


Is there a pool around here?


Wait! Don't leave me here!


So... Mystery loaf for supper?


Eric noooooooooo!


(Mechanical whirring)


Aghhh!


(Rats chatter)


Aghhhhh!


Huh?... Aghhh!


Pamplemoose rod lightningrod?


Rod here.


Pamplemoose becky manchin?


Becky (deep voice) present.


Eric needles? Eric needles?


Eric needles?


(Sobbing)


Trevor's right! We've gotta rescue eric!


Nothing should stand in our way.


Not even volunteering!


All (gasp)


Who's comin' with us?! Huh?


Uh... Hmmm?


(Groans) fine. I'm in.


Trevor let's go blow up an orphanage!


Isn't it great being back where you belong?


With me?


No, glen!


It is not great being back here.


Not at all!


Then why don't we try to escape?


You mean, you want me to escape?


Wait! I've got an idea!


How would you like to be my sidekick


And help me bust outta here!?


So that's a "yes".


Eric I can't see anything!


Glen hold on. I'll get the light.


Ahhhhh!


Man, she's good. And...



(Panting)


We're gonna make it!


Oh, no you're not! (Cackles)


I'm getting out of here, mushpickle.


If I can't be a sidekick


Then we'll just have to settle this the old-fashioned way.


♪♪♪


(Fighting grunts)


Whoa!


And so ends the escape of eric needles!


(Cackles)


Wait!? All right! You win.


I can't escape.


I'm gonna be stuck in this orphanage forever.


(Sobbing)


(Whimpers)


You've been a great friend to me.


You're the best sidekick a guy could ever have!


Goodbye.


(Whimpers)


Please, don't go!


Mushpickle get off me!


(Panting) almost there.


You're mine, needles, forever!


Nothing! Nothing can help you!


(Cackles)


Oh.


Yeah!


Woo hoo! Hop in, buddy!


Come on!


Thanks, guys.


I knew you wouldn't let me down.


That's what friends are all about.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


I got to drive a t*nk, eric!


I got to drive a t*nk!


Oh no, you don't.


(Knocking)


Excuse me. I think someone's at the door.


No, trevor! Don't!


Yel-lo.


(expl*si*n) all yagh!


I told you I'd get you, needles.


You are mine!


Oh, no you don't!


He's our friend and we are taking him home.


Yeah! Yeah!


Can we hurry this up?


Home?! What home?


He has no parents.


No structure. No supervision.


Don't you see splittsboro is a violent and scary place.


Being a sidekick is dangerous.


Eric would be much safer here with me.


Much happier here.


I just want what's best for poor, (sobs)


Little, orphan eric... (Sobs)


(Sobbing)


Maybe she's right.


Maybe I would be better off here in normalton.


Uh... Maybe we all would...


(Sobbing)


f*ring mushpedo!


Gaaaaah!


(Boom!) Ahhhhh!


Yes!


Vana trevor!


Trevor what?! I felt a mushy-huggy moment coming on.


Nothing like f*ring off a t*nk to break that up!


Thanks, glen, for all your help.


I guess, this is goodbye.


(Bracing grunt)


Looks like you're over your abandonment issues.


And you make a pretty good sidekick.


Yeah! I'm a sidekick now!


(expl*si*n)


(Whirs)


Huh? What are these?


Duh... It's his banana mint shoes.


(Sniffs)


These bananas don't smell like mint.


♪♪♪


(Effort grunts)


(Effort grunts)


Eric trevor...


I don't think this is a very good idea.


Why?


(Effort "ha!") Aaaaagh!


I see your point...


Pamplemoose attention!


I have very exciting news!


Enrollment is at an all time low...


That is exciting!


Zee academy has decided to invest


In a brand new televizion commercial,


Since ze old vne is not so good any more.


And ve vatch now!


Golly gee kid (effort grunts)


Ahhhhh! (Landing thud)


Hey kids, do you like to save lives,



While a hero takes all the credit?


Kids thank you, maxum man!


Then you got what it takes to be a sidekick!


Welcome to the sidekick academy,


The school of tomorrow, today!


At the academy you'll receive rigorous,


Physical traini- waaa! (Screams)


You'll also utilize the latest super training techniques.


(Whirring)


(Electrocuted yell)


And you'll even receive on the job training


With an actual super!


(Laughs)


Ahhhhhh!


So, come on down to the sidekick academy


And we'll make all your mediocre dreams come true.


Ooof! I'm okay.


Now...one of you sidekicks


Vill become zee new face of zee academy!


You vill be a star!


You vill be famous!


You vill even get paid minimum vage!


Unt to make it all happen,


Velcome hotshot tv director kip weasel.


Yayyyyy!


Shhhh.


Booooo!


Mr. Weasel, I'm eric needles,


You know... Maxum man's sidekick.


Obviously I'm the logical choice to be in the video.


Boooooo!


Interesting, interesting,


I like what I'm hearing.


I'm looking for a fresh face!


A face that makes kids think,


"If that dufus can be a sidekick, then I can too!"


Auditions are after school.


Auditions?! For my part?!


You'll get your sh*t, kid.


Just, be better looking... Like that kid.


Me?! This is all so sudden!


My hair must look a fright!


No, not you.


The kid I'm actually pointing at.


I, allan amazing,


Am honored to be singled out


So early in the process for my amazing good looks.


(Clicks his teeth)


(Love sigh)


All right mouth breathers.


Here's how the auditions work.


It's in three parts.


One performing under pressure!


Two showing emotion!


(Rip) (crying)


Three I wanna see some serious sidekick action.


Eric (claps)


Bravo, sir.


I'm sure you'll be blown away by sidekicky skills


In my truly unnecessary audition.


I'll just get the door for you.


(Yelp) (effort grunts)


Aw! Aw! Aw!


Awwww!


Ta...da...


Mr. Weasel, may I say...


You look simply amazing.


As do i. Come, let's walk.


Kip oh, delightful.


Allan, what is that accent? Dutch?


"Ooooh, mr. Weasel, you look amazing!"


(Angry) no way am I letting allan annoying take my part.


Vana don't worry about b*ating allan.


Eric really? I knew you'd come around eventually.


Uh, I meant that I'm going to get the part.


I'll show weasel I don't need to audition.


It's all about star power.


Kitty, my first appointment?


You've got a mani-pedi-opti ortho-kelp-wrap spa


Appointment at .


Vana pull my limo-cycle around.


Kitty sure being her assistant has its bad points,


But... I get to pedal!


Hmm. I like pedalling!


Plus, I have a pair of mirrored sunglasses


And a phone...


Eric, baby, say hello to your new agent - me!


Now, give me ten percent of everything you own.


Kip welcome to the addition... Part one.


Glad you could all make it.


Oh, yeah... (Chuckles)


I'm not auditioning, I'm eric's agent.


I'd like to talk to you about his contract,


It clearly says-


Clearly you don't understand the concept of an audition.


Your "client" doesn't have the part yet.


Clearly you don't "understand" how little I "understand"


About anything.


And I'm not going to stay here and listen to this!


Good day, sir!



All right. Time to weed out the nobodies.


Let's see how you handle some pressure,


Like reentering earth's atmosphere!


Who's first?


I'll show you what a nobody I'm not!


Whoa!


Aghhhh!


Aghhhhh!


Aghhhhh!


I can taste the back of my head!


(Licks)


And it is salty!


Kitty um, not to question your amazing logic but...


How are you going to get the part without an audition?


Duh. With a chihuahua!


Make one!


(Barks)


Here comes the ozone layer!


(Flames roar)


Pitiful. Predictable.


Yes, you're on fire, but where's the heat?!


Normally my underwear only burns on the inside!


No agents on set!


Allan! You're a natural baby!


Eric mr. Kip, I'm ready for my close-up!


(Disgusted groan)


Kip all right, to those that weren't cut, and survived,


Welcome to part two of the audition!


I'm going to randomly select cards from this stack,


And you have to express the emotions.


Allan! Go!


Angry! Sad! Handsome!


Genius.


Nausea! Ennui! Discomfort!


Eric go!


Okay! Okay, I can do this...


Don't worry, buddy. I know how to do discomfort!


I'll be right back.


I don't see nausea.


Look at me, you're making me sick.


That's nausea!


I'll give you one last sh*t.


One card. Here we go...


Show me total and utter calm and serenity, now!


Trevor, no don't! (Zapping)


(Pained yelling)


(Groans) serenity...


Look at that face!


Total calm!


I feel like a monk eating clouds!


Moving on!


(Watch ticks then beeps)


Okay, time's up


On your super-industrial teeth whitening strips.


Let's see those pearly whites


And get you to that audition!


Aghhh!


Not white enough. More minutes.


All right, remaining meat bags,


Time for the third,


And most important part of the audition!


The obstacle course...


You'll get the chance to show how you handle the abuse,


The pain, and the humiliation


That is the very essence of being a sidekick!


Laser bees ready...


(Lasers powering up)


Go!


(Panting)


This is my last chance!


I've gotta give this everything I've got


If I'm gonna win.


Laser bees come and get me!


(Lasers powering)


Or not...


Ow! Oooow!


Hello my buzzing little friends.


Your beautiful colours,


They are simply... Amazing.


Those wimpy bees are no match for you, dude!


Wuh-oh!


(Screaming)


Hmm. Kip likes...


Eric (groans) next!


Nothing like explosions to make a sidekick look good!


Don't worry! I'll get you out of here, buddy!


No. Trevor! I wanna blow up.


I gotta win this thing!


(expl*si*n) aaaahhhh!


I can take it.


I can take it! Oof!


(Chuckles) interesting.


So I say, "either you've got x-ray vision,


Or the invisible girl is hiding around here someplace!"


(Laughs)


Funny story, % true.


We kinda have to go


If you want to make your grand entrance!


(Effort runts) giddy up, big ears!


(Elephant trumpets) whoa!



(Impact grunts) yes. Yes!


(Pained grunts)


Allen the king of beasts?


True the lion claims the title,


But we both know who truly rules.


(Chuckle) yes you, that's who.


(Chuckle) yeah...


All right! I've seen enough!


I'll review the footage and make my final decision.


And... Done!


I won't lie to you, that was not easy.


Okay. I lied. It was easy!


Say hello to your new sidekick spokesperson -


Trevor troublemeyer!


(Spits)


(Elephant trumpets)


What? Me?


I can never tell who you're pointing to.


Him?! This is outrageous!


Well, he may have the part, but he can never have... This!


(Swooning sighs)


Breathtaking! You're still out.


But that's not fair! (Sobbing)


How could trevor win?


He wasn't even auditioning!


That's showbiz, kid.


But I have to say, you really can take a hit...


Eric, I want to hire you to be trevor's stunt double.


A stuntmen?


Stuntmen are awesome! Yessss!


Vana your starlet's here and in a surprising,


But still cliche twist,


Is ready to be discovered!


I don't know who you are,


But you, robodog, (chuckle)


I can make you a star. Kip out!


You're fired.


Kip okay, aaaaand action!


(Inhales)


Kip cut! Beautiful!


Bring in the stunt double!


Okay, aaaaaand action!


Hi. I'm trevor, trevor troublemeyer,


And i...


Kip cue the monkey! Eric monkey?


(Roars) aaaaagh!


(Pained groans) and I love being a sidekick!


(Gorilla sounds) (pained groans)