01x10 - Crimes R Us; Life's Ruff

[bunniefuu]

It is a legend no

one will forget.

Everyone thought King Koopa

had left the mushroom kingdom.

and then...

His Doom Ship att*cked!

King Koopa was back!

With the greatest

danger ever known:

His Koopa Kids!

With their new super powers,

The Super Mario Bros. rescued

Princess Toadstool and b*at

back the evil Koopa Family.

King Koopa:

I'll get those plumbers!

Real World Prison straight ahead

King Dad!

Prison, the only place in the

real world with our kind of

people.

What? Aaahhhh!

OK, who else thinks they can

b*at me at basketball?

Crime Wave Clyde? Real world

public enemy number one?

If I wasn't they would've

put me in this here jail for

twelve thousand four hundred and

twenty three years with no

parole!

This is your lucky day! King Dad

just gave you a pardon!

Huh?

Got 'em King Dad!

I want some answers! Who are

you? Why'd you bust me out?

What kind of vehicle is this?

And why are you still wearing

those stupid reptile disguises?

Owww let go of my nose!

No problem.

Whoa!

Ow!

These are not disguises. I am

Bowser Koopa, King Koopa to you.

And these little darlings are my

Koopa kids.

So whaddaya want from me?

I'm a super criminal, not an

animal trainer!

This is like some freaky dream!

You're King Koopa the evil

nasty super bad guy that's

wacking Mushroom Kingdom and

these really are your kids?

No costumes?

And you're the kind of

villainous culprit who can help

me give my precious kids all the

advantages I never had!

Forget it scale-face!

I'm no nanny!

Hang on! I'm not looking for a

baby-sitter.

I want you to teach these tots

every illegal, underhanded,

treacherous trick you know!

What's in it for me?

You keep half of what you steal.

Mr. Reptile, you got a deal.

OK Koopa class, today we're

gonna start with the basics.

Lesson one, bank robbery.

Hey Luigi. You ever notice how

clouds can look like other

things?

Like that one over there. Looks

sort of like the princess!

Yeah, sure does, Mario. And that

one looks like Aunt Maria!

Hey, but for realism how about

that one over there?

It looks just like the Doom

Ship!

Yeeah, the Doom Ship!

Aahhhhhh!

We gotta stop those lunkhead

Koopas from robbing the bank!

What a lovely fur... give it to

me!

Huh?

Do what I tell you. Toss it into

the sack! All of it!

Hey bully! Catch this!

Aaahhh!

Ouch!

Aaaaahhh! yow!

Stupid Mario Brothers, ruin all

my fun.

Come on g*ng, I know when

we're not wanted.

Ohhhhhhh!

Sheeeyy! Shay!

All right Koopa class... you

failed lesson one.

It's time for lesson two...

how to get the good guys outta

your hair!

Help! Someone help!

It's coming from over there!

Hey! What's wrong little boy?

Ugly green monsters! They stole

my lunch money!

Those lousy Koopas! Which way

did they go?

Down that big pipe!

You did great kid! The Mario

Brothers fell for it big!

Here's your lunch money back.

Whoa!

Whoaa!

We've been snookered!

Right you are, super suckers!

It's curtains for you creeps.

You're history, you've had

it, you're done for.

It's all over, we win, times

out, your clock is clean.

The sun has set, the fat lady

has sung, the cheese has molded,

the Super Mario Brothers

are no more!

Enough already!

So you won't be lonely,

here's a little something to

keep you company!

[chicken noises]

[chicken noises]

Mario, he's getting angry!

You kids are ready.

I taught you everything I know

about crime. Now just do it!

Chief! Rock!

Ahhh, I love the sound of

children playing.

Stick 'em up! Gimme your

purse!

I'm a real bad robber Koopa.

I'm also a bad dancer.

Hey! Cootie pie, stick 'em up,

put your hands in the air.

I'm a thief and a crook.

Big Mouth! That's mine! I

stole it all personally!

That's wallets,

purses, gold coins and a

yo-yo.

Stick 'em up! This patooey

plant is loaded!

No no no! You're not supposed

to rob each other!

Do I have to go over this again!

Hey cut it out, give that back!

Right now!

You guys are driving me crazy!

Oooh!

Wonderful! Wonderful! Quick

little learners aren't they?

Makes a dad proud.

These brats are giving me a

headache!

I think it's time for the

grand finale, the big finish,

the crime of the mushroom

century!

Are we gonna rob the ruins of

the mushroom carols?

Pilfer the pyramids in the

Koopahari desert?

I know! Make that yucky Princess

Toadstool disappear!

No, my little evilings, you're

gonna steal a billion gold coins

from the Mushroom Kingdom

Treasury.

Well I guess a billion gold

coins might make my headache go

away.

Whoaaaaa!

Sheeew! Aahhhhhh! We've

searched everywhere, Mario.

There's no way out!

Don't light this

till I say go!

Got it, Crime Wave Clyde!

What's going on here! W-What

are you doing?

Just following orders.

I didn't tell you do that?

No, but King Daddy did!

Dad never planned on giving you

half of anything!

We're double crossing you!

I can't take this anymore, I

can't!

Whooooaa!

I think this is the end, Mario!

Aahhhh! Hey good guys! You've

gotta get me get back to the

real world.

Please! Please! I'll do

anything!

I'll even help you stop the

Koopalings from robbing the

Mushroom Treasury!

Hey well thanks for the help

Clyde,

but I've never seen anyone so

happy to be back behind bars!

, years, no parole is a lot

better than one more day with

those Koopas.

Heh, he's just lucky didn't

have to face the Koopa kids on a

bad day, huh Luigi!

Duck...

...you turkey!

Yoww! Well at least he warned

me!

Flea-brained ninny! Duck!

What's wrong Luigi? Are my

floors dirty?

Somebody mop this floor, pronto!

Your floors aren't dirty...

you yelled duck!

Duck? Not that kind of duck.

My servant here doesn't know

the difference between duck and

turkey.

So why are you here lad?

Hey, the princess sent me.

She's had a lot of complaints

about you being a bully.

Me a bully? Nonsense.

I want my duck now! Now I say!

Eeeek! Aaahhhh!

Honestly! A dog could be a

better servant!

Might as well be a dog, the way

King Windbag treats us!

A dog? What a-

...of an idea!

Yeah, just the kind of

trouble...

King Dad wanted us to cause when

he told us to follow Luigi.

WHERE'S MY DUCK!

Ahhh!

Uh, you really shouldn't bully

your servants King Windbag.

Don't just stand there like a

lamp post, show me the duck!

Ahhhh!

Wha??

No duck here, turkey!

(effort grunt)

Whooa!

No!

Now King Windbag is King

Fleabag!

Whooooa!

And the pesky plumber's gonna

be...

...a mustached mutt!

Give me back my wand!

Where are we? What is this

place?

It's the real world, Miami, I

think. Look out!

Let's get my wand back from

hip and hop and get outta this

place!

Hey look, there they are!

King Dad will be proud-

-of all the trouble we're

causing Luigi!

OK when the next car drives in,

we run in after it!

Me, King Windbag run? Royalty

never runs!

Smells like-

-chow time!

Hey, they'll never let mutts

in here. Come on, this way!

I wonder where Hip and Hop are?

Aahhhh!

Bingo! We've found 'em!

I want my wand back now!

Aahhhh!

Ahhhhh!

Somebody call for the dog

catcher?

Yaaaahhh!

Huh?

Yiiiiah!

Look the littlest Mario Brother-

Is headed for the dog house!

Farewell-

-Fidos!

My wand, we'll never get it

back.

We're gonna be stuck as dogs

forever and never see the

Mushroom Kingdom again!

Tomorrow morning the Space

Shuttle will launch from Kennedy

Space Center.

, ...

... let's blast off!

Welcome to Florida's State

Poochitentiary.

Move Fido!

Hey, you always gotta bully

someone, dontcha?

Bully? Nonsense! I'm a king, I

have rights!

Well so do these guys and if we

want their help...

Help? From these shiftless curs?

For what?

Well if we form a pyramid, I can

climb up there and break us out!

Hup, two, much, line up, pronto!

Leaping Labradors, you ever

heard the wordÄúpleaseÄù it

works wonders!

Please!

Get in there King!

Me?

Hang on guys!

Whoa, what a dog pile. Hang on

guys!

In a minute we'll blow this

dog house!

The police have issued a special

emergency alert.

There is a red sports car

rampaging through Florida,

heading toward Kennedy Space Center.

Stay inside. Aaahhh!

Hip and Hop at the Space Center?

That could be trouble!

Yowwwww!

Yaaahhh!

Wow!

Heh? Hah?

You mongrel menace!

My truck! The mutts stole my

truck!

I can't jump this fence!

It's hopeless!

Hardly! What do dogs do best...

dig!

Hey, good idea King Windbag!

Hey look! The astronauts!

If that isn't Hip and Hop,

my name is Fido!

Freeze Fido! You're going back

to the dog house.

years to life, whichever

comes last!

Uhhh, huh?

Aaahhh!

Uh-

-Oh!

King Windbag, catch!

My wand! I finally got my wand

back!

Ohhh! No more fleas!

Hey where are you two going?

Back to Koopa Castle for you!

Maybe he'd be a kinder,

gentler dog catcher if he knew

what it was like being a dog.

And I know I'll be a kinder

king, down Fido!

Let's get back home! I've

got a kingdom to take care of!

Ahhhh! Whoa! What a nightmare...

for a minute there... Nah, nah!

Duck!

-D-Duck?

And mashed potatoes,

and some peas...