01x01 - Best Hedgehog

[bunniefuu]

[Clock ticking]

[Alarm ringing]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

You sure we gotta do this, Sonic?

This is Robotnik's fortress!

If a guy's been locked up for thirty years,

he needs rescuin'!

[Gasps]

Sonic!

[Whirs]

This place gives me the creeps!

[Yelps]

[Sonic] Yeah.

And that's the biggest creep of all!

[Yelps]

Relax kid.

I'm not gonna bite.

How 'bout claw, choke or kick?

Are you the guy Robotnik locked up years ago?

The one and only.

Name's Lucas.

Well, stand back, lucas!

We're bustin' you out of here!

[Grunts]

Uh-oh, look!

It's one of Robotnik's little pals!

Sure is one mean lookin' son of a canopener.

[Yelps]

Speakin' of looks.

Uh, who're you primping for, the undertaker?

Least I can do is give him a fair chance.

I'm waaiiiittinggg!

[f*ring]

[Screaming]

When fast thinkin' is of the essence,

I'm the essence of fast thinkin'!

[Mechanical screech]

Sorry we can't stick around and play.

Gotta chug, bug!

[Mechanical screech]

[Screaming]

[♪♪♪]

Take two and call me in the morning.

[Robotnik] I hate that hedgehog!

Quick!

Prepare the Egg-Blaster!

Rotten Egg-b*mb in launch position.

Fire!

Now which way is out of here?

Rotten Egg-b*mb!

[Screams]

Hold that thought.

-It's gonna get us! -It's gonna get us!

Alright, Sonic!

Excuse me I got a breakfast date with Robotnik.

You guys get out of here and meet me by the river!

[Whooshing]

Hear anything, Your Vileness?

[Shushing]

Yes, I hear it!

Uh, Your Repulsiveness!

[Scratch] It's the Egg-b*mb!

Of course it's the Egg-b*mb, fool!

[Grunting]

Sunny side down!

[Angry grumbling]

[Groaning]

Tell me when.

Nincombots!

Get him!

[Sneezing]

[Angry grumbling]

Hey, thanks for saving me!

But why'd ya' do it?

Nobody should hafta stay in a dungeon for years.

Why does Robotnik hate you so much?

It's all about Lucinda, my beautiful,

wonderful Lucinda.

It all seems like yesterday...

[Lucas] We were lab partners in our high school chemistry class.

I was just working up the nerve to ask her to go steady.

And Robotnik didn't like it.

Why does he get all the luck?

Lucinda should be my lab partner and my girlfriend!

I'll take care of him!

[Screams]

[Choking sounds]

Lucinda!

You!

You did this!

Yes, Lucinda!

For you!

I have such dirty rotten plans in store for Mobius...

Well count me out!

But I want to share my villainous life with you,

Lucinda.

I'll give you a quarter of everything I plunder

if you go steady with me!

Never! Never, ever!

Not in a trillion years!

I suppose this means marriage is completely out of the question?

[Moaning]

Lucas? Dear Lucas, are you alright?

You'll pay for this!

Just after that Robotnik was expelled and began

his villainous career.

When he built his fortress, I was his first prisoner.

Wow, so what happened to Lucinda?

Who knows?

[Sobs]

After all these years.

Hey, come on!

She may be waitin' for you!

[Horrific gasp]

For this a walking haystack?

If she stood up to Robotnik like that,

she really must've loved ya!

Come on, time's a wastin'.

What's the hurry?

Are you kidding?

She's been waiting thirty years.

I can't stand waitin' thirty seconds!

We're takin' you to Lucinda!

I don't care what it takes.

I'll give anything to have Lucas returned to my dungeon!

Anything?

For that decrepit old hairball?

That hairball stole the one thing I treasured most in life

besides having power and commiting rottenness of course

my beautiful, wonderful Lucinda.

It all seems like yesterday.

[Robotnik] We make such chemistry together, eh, Lucinda?

[Giggles shyly]

Oh Robotnik!

Everything was perfect till that toogoodnik musclebrain

Lucas showed up.

Young get lost, you low life scum!

Lucinda and I have a date to sing to the orphans

at the hospital.

Let go of me, you clean cut cootie!

Get your hands off my girl!

Your girl!?

We'll see about that!

Ouch!

[Grunts]

Robotnik, you saved me from that goodiegoodie bonehead!

You're my hero!

[Grounder] Aw, so where is she?

How come we never met her?

Hello? Your malevolence?

[Scratch] Yeah, what happened?

Where is your Lucinda?

[Grounder] Did you marry her and live happily ever after?

[Robotnik] No!

I want back in his cage!

Now!

[Gasps]

I bet they'll be heading for the Mobius jungle.

The jungle?

Why?

Lucinda teaches there in a little schoolhouse.

If you bring Lucas and Sonic back to me you can

name your prize.

Anything!

Your Egg-O-matic hovercraft?

Yes.

This fortress?

Yes.

I said anything.

You mean like that wrench set over there?

[Sighs]

Even the wrench set.

See yah.

Hey! I can't move!

[Scratch] Whattaya gripin' about?

You wanted that wrench set, didn't ya?

Mobius canyon, that's the place to catch 'em.

[Grounder] I'll show that Scratch.

I'll catch Sonic first.

Don't think your trap'll work.

Sure it will!

See, you come along here and step in the snare

and get yanked up in the air

releasing that branch which will bat you

into that pit.

Gee, I can't visualize it.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh, boy!

You must be really, really dumb!

Look.

[Screaming]

Now I get it!

See ya scumbot.

Gotta go, slomo.

[Angry grumbling]

It's time to give up, Sonic.

You've already been over half of Mobius and talked to everybody

and we still have no idea where Lucinda is!

We just haven't been asking the right people!

Oh, this time I'm in charge and and they won't get away!

[Whistles]

It's the hedgehog!

Yeah!

[Clucking]

Uh, that is real smart, Scratch.

Just wait til I tell Dr. Robotnik

what a failure you are--

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

Gosh, I feel kinda sorry for 'em.

Makes me want to give 'em a hint,

and tell 'em where we're going.

After the dirty rotten trick you just pulled?

Oh, Grounder, you moronathon!

We don't need the dumb hedgehog's dumb hints.

Right, I knew that.

[Grounder] Yeah, you dumb hedgehog!

We already know you're going to Lucinda's schoolhouse

in Mobius jungle.

Lucinda, here we come!

You got it, ace.

Let's race.

[Whooshing]

[Rumbling]

[Yelping]

[Lucinda] ♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G, ♪

Hold on Sonic, listen!

♪ H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, ♪

It's Lucinda!

♪ Q, R, S, T, U, V,♪

♪ W, X, Y and Z ♪

She's just as pretty as I remember.

Now 'R' is for rotten.

[Cheering]

And 'L'...

...'L' is for Lucas.

Bye, everyone! See you tomorrow.

[Sonic] Kids really like her, don't they?

Yeah, she's really something.

Lucas!

Where're you going?

Well, I can't face her.

It's the Lucas I was thirty years ago she wants.

Lucas, go on!

She's waited years years!

Going on if you don't hurry.

I'm waaaaaiting.

[Nervous gulp]

All right.

[Lucas] Lucinda?

Lucas?

Lucas?

[Lucas] Lucinda, let me out of here!

Lucinda!

Lucas!

Lucas?!! Lucas??

Come on, Lil' Bro'.

This isn't the way the story's supposed to end!

Chicken tracks!

The badniks got him.

Gotta speed, keed.

[Grounder] Remember, I'm the one who spotted him first.

But I'm the one who captured him.

I should get the reward!

[Lucas] Neither of you are getting anything

'cause I'm getting outta here!

[Grunting]

[Lucas] Hey, what's happening?

Who's there?

[Grunts]

I'll put you back where you belong,

you despicable ruiner of romance!

[Lucas] You can lock me up, Robotnik, but you'll never win

Lucinda's heart!

We'll see about that...

Ah!

[Groaning]

[Shushing]

[Grounder] It's the hedgehog. He's--

Doing exactly what I want him to do.

We're getting warm, Little Buddy.

Warm!

In a minute you'll be roasting, hedgehog!

[expl*si*n]

[♪♪♪]

Lucas, my man, time for your date with destiny!

Sonic!

The volcano exploded!

Time to fly, guys.

[Volcano erupting]

Sonic and Lucinda's true love are past tense,

ancient history, and future fossil fuel!

But, Dr. Robotnik,

I thought Lucinda loved you!

Yeah, she has Robotnik's picture up in her classroom,

doesn't she?

She does?

Maybe, maybe there's still hope.

This I gotta see.

[Grunts]

-Huh? -Huh?

[Gasps]

There's no way out!

Not necessarily.

Where's he going?

Could be anyplace.

[Yelps]

What?

Huh?

Hop a ride, guys!

[Screaming]

Whoah!

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

Hey Lucas, you okay pal?

I wonder if Lucinda'll marry Robotnik.

That softboiled eggbrain?

She's got better taste than that!

He's powerful, rich.

What've I got to offer but head lice and a bad hair cut?

Tell you what, Tails'll take care of the bad hair

and I'll take care of the badnik.

-Deal? -Deal.

What am I going to say?

'I love you, Lucinda. Will you have me?

Please? Please? Please, please? Please?'

Hmm.

Not bad.

Why, I sound like a groveling worm!

I've gotta be strong, manly.

"Marry me, Lucinda or else--'

Not bad, not bad.

[♪♪♪]

Lucinda?

Robotnik!?

[Clears throat]

Lucinda!

Marry me, or else!

[Sonic] Okay.

You will?

Oh Lucinda, you've made my day!

My week!

My year!

The fun has just begun.

Do you take this woman to be your wife?

To have and to hold, for richer for poor

Yes, definitely, yes, I do!

And do you take this man to--

Of course she does!

Then you may kiss the bride.

You are now man and wife.

[Screaming]

[Kissing]

Why? You?

{Grunting]

What's a wedding without some rice?

Why you!

[Screams]

[Sonic] Smile!

[Camera snapshot]

And a piece of wedding cake.

[Grunting]

[Angry grumbling]

[Sonic] Or two or three.

[Camera snapshots]

[Groaning]

[Camera snapshot]

[Munching]

Delicious, yummy hubbie!

[Infuriated growling]

[♪♪♪]

[Sonic] I almost forgot your wedding present, sweetienik!

I hope you like it!

[Yelps]

[Grunting]

[Screaming]

[♪♪♪]

[Groaning]

Happy honeymoon, Ronutnik!

[Robotnik] I hate that hedgehog!

Guess I'm done for the day.

Maybe not, your honour, hold on.

You look hot, Lucas!

You can't get cold feet now.

Anyway, if you wait much longer,

I'll have to give yah another haircut.

[Taking a deep breath]

All right!

I just need a little nudge and I'll--

[Sonic] How's things, Lil Bro'?

Lucas! Lucas, is it you?

Yes, Lucinda!

It's me.

I'm waaaiting!

Yeah, we're waaaaiittting!!

Thirty years is a long time, Lucinda.

We've got no time to waste.

Will you marry me?

[Gasps]

Lucas!

[Chuckles]

I guess that's a 'yes'?

So what're we waiting for?

[Justice] Welcome to the love can't wait wedding chapel.

So, what're we waiting for?

We're ready.

[Clears throat]

We are all gathered today--

Wait, wait, wait!

And who are you supposed to be?

Best hedgehog, of course!

-You better believe it! -You better believe it!

I love reading.

Books can take you to faraway lands and exotic places.

Or show you how to see everyday things in a way cool way.

Too bad some people have a problem learning how to read.

If you know someone that has trouble reading,

tell them to ask a teacher, or get help at the local library.

All they have to do is ask!

I'll tell ya, there's worlds of fun in reading.

[♪♪♪]

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