01x29 - att*ck on Pinball Fortress

[bunniefuu]

[CLOCK TICKING] [ALARM]

♪ ♪ ♪

Someday, my friend, the evil Dr. Robotnik

will be defeated forever!

But until that day happens - Whaaaaaaaaa!!!

Uh We get to pway in da nice mud.

Whee!

Robotnik: Ah ha ha ha ha!

My new Stupidity Ray works perfectly!

One zap from this baby and the good citizens of Mobius

are too stupid to resist me!

I see the ultimate test of my invention coming up now!

Why are we in such a hurry, Sonic?

Got the word that Doc Botnik and his Bad-Egg Bunch

are in the area, little bud!

And you know what that means!

Sure do, Sonic! It means -

Troubbbllleeeee!

If I can just zap that high- speed hedgehog,

the rest of the planet will be a piece of cake!

Blast it, you turbocharged troublemaker!

Hold still!

Ahh!

Whoops!

Snap out of it, you clucking klutz!

Uh .how are you feeling!?

Actually, I feel fine, your Mightiness!

Are you sure that thing's working?

It's working FINE.

It just can't make you any stupider than you already are.

Fifty mile run through the swamps, soldier!

Move!

Aw, gee, Sgt. Dobermann...

Wha?

Huh?

Uh.duhh Yes, SIR!

Great idea, sir!

This'll be FUN!

Hmmmmmm.

Look, pally, you want these encyclopedias or not?

They got Wes Weasley's personal guarantee!

I don't think so --all the pages are blank!

Pally pally PALLY! You're a smart guy, right?

You already know everything you need to know, right?

These encyclopedias are'perfect for ya!

I don't think so.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Look! Look!

I'll even throw in a set of genuine imitation gold- plated

toenail clippers!

Forget it!

What do you think I am --stupid?

Whoooa!

Wow! A blank encyclopedia!

I'll take one!

No! No! I'll take three!

And the forks! And your stinky socks!

Yes! And anything else you've got for sale!

Name your price!

Heh heh heh... Hmmmmmm.

Whoa...

Now it's time for a Sonic- style finish!

[neighing]

Now for a quick spring in the fall!

[neigh]

I've heard of horseflies, but muleflies!?

Hey Doc!

You're a lousy sh*t!

Bet you can't even hit me when I'm standing still!

I'm waaiiitting!!

Your attitude is in for some adjustment,

you hotshot hedgehog!

Uh, Your Maliciousness..

Don't bother me!

I'm about to blast that blue bratnik!

Leave me alone!

I want to ENJOY this!

Yesss.

This is going to be...

Oh!

A real KICK!

YAAAAAAAAAA!

Doctor Robotnik!

All right! Yeah!

Hah!

The evil Robotnik has been defeated for the moment

I see that he has left behind his stupidity Ray!

Just what I need for creating my kind of soldiers!

I must have it!

- That little gizmo could really help my sales!

I've gotta have it!

Umph!

[fighting]

Were ya boys lookin' for this, by any chance?

Yes!

I order you to turn over that device to me!

Now, hold on there, pally!

I'll buy it, chum! Name yer price!

m*llitary Security is more important than your petty cash,

you pathetic peddler!

NOTHING's more important than money,

you overgrown grunthead!

Tell ya what; friend, I'll even throw in a set of

blank encyclopedias!

The stupidity Ray goes to ME!

Yeah!?

You and whose army, flat-top?

ARRRGH!

These two slo-moes are acting like they were hit

by the ray already!

Hey, you two turkeys!

Check this out!

Huh? Wha?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

- That's better.

Now, you two fenderheads quit fighting and let's get back to

concentrating on our planet's REAL problem

--Dr. Robotnik!

Robotnik: You stupid hedgehog!

Speak of the devil!

What's up, lardbelly?

Want me to settle your hash 'some more?

You may have smashed my Stupidity Ray

But I still remember how to build it!

And this time I won't mess around!

I'm going to build a GIANT stupidity Ray!

One big enough to blanket the WHOLE PLANET!

And when I do.

I'll be able to conquer all of Mobius in a SINGLE BLAST!

Just try it!

I'll be all over ya like chili on a hotdog!

And I'll be the mustard!

That's what YOU think!

Because I'm building THIS ray inside my awesome,

impenetrable new Pinball Fortress!

Not even YOU can get past its dynamic defenses!

By this time tomorrow, the entire planet will be under my

control --even YOU! [evil laugh]

That evil eggmeister!

What are we gonna do, Sonic?

Can we get inside the Pinball Fortress?

Gonna be tough, little bud!

I've seen the place --it's solid booby-traps,

wall-towall!

Hmmm. A NEW stupidity Ray!

I could create a whole PLANET of my kinda soldiers!

A NEW stupidity Ray!

I could create a whole PLANET of suckers!

I volunteer to join the mission!

With my m*llitary experience, we will be certain to b*at the

Pinball Fortress!

No, no! I volunteer!

My company sold Robotnik most of the traps in the

Pinball Fortress!

I'll know how ta get through 'em!

Get lost, snake-oil!

We don't need you!

What we don't need is a thick-necked grunge-head!

Oh yeah!?

YEAH!

What do you think, Sonic?

I think that between Robotnik and these guys,

we're ALL in big trouble!

I'm waaaaiiitinnnng.....

[panting]

Whew!

Couldn't...

couldn't we have waited for the locals' tour bus?

They don't have one!

They don't?

Remind me to sell them one.

"SEE the Impenetrable Pinball Fortress!

VISIT the fearsome Toxic Pools!

DIE in the malicious booby traps!"

I'd make a fortune!

You won't have a chance unless we get in there and defeat

Doc Botnik's evil plans!

Now that we are in sight of our goal,

I, as ranking m*llitary officer, will take command

of this mission!

From this point we will take the South Pass Road to the fortress!

Back off, Burr Head.

I'm still calling the sh*ts here.

And I say its time ta check in with our eye in the sky,

the high-flying Tails!

What's the sitch, little bud?

Looks tough, Sonic!

There's some sort of breakdown blocking the South Pass Road.

Better go some other way!

That's a ten-four, little buddy!

What's the scoop on our intended target?

Oh, no!

Robotnik and his blockheads have almost completed their

giant Stupidity Ray!

Then we're gonna speed, keed!

Gotta blow, bros!

No time to lose!

But how are we gonna get over there?

The whole landscape is loaded with my company's finest

"Grab'em-N-Grind'em" booby traps!

We ain't gonna be boobies, that's how!

We're gonna take the skyway!

Betcha can't hit it that far.

Are you kidding?

Watch this!

Play ball!

Here's the pitch!

And here's the runner!

He's UP! OVER! And GONE!

And the fielder's headed for the wall!

He leaps!

He's got it!

An incredible catch, ladies and germs!

Now to bring in the side!

Come on, you slomoes!

Sorry, snake-oil.

Only room for one on this ride.

Guess we'll have to capture the stupidity Ray without you.

Oh, no you don't!

You're not getting that ray without me!

Let go of me, you greedy galoot!

Gimme that!

Yahhh!

[fighting]

Great, guys.

Oh, just great.

Nice heroic entrance.

Do you read, keed?

What's the scoop?

Got just one word for you guys!

Oh yeah?

What's that?

Duck!

Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Hmm. We've got to get through this door!

Ah, that's the HDSVADL Monolith Series Seven Door.

It's solid steel, unpickable lock, absolutely unbreakable.

Take hours to cut through there.

Uh oh!

We don't HAVE hours!

Ah. Well, then, in that case, there is a tiny,

tiny flaw the company doesn't like to talk about -

It does have a slight rust problem.

Let's go, slo-moes!

Blast! They've gotten inside!

But no matter.

They'll never get past Boss Scorpion!

Gotta time this just right, or it's bumper city!

Out of my way!

Wait! Ooff!

Whhooaahh!

Yaaaaaaaaa!

Ahhhhhh!

Oooof!

Look!

Ha-ha-HAAAAAA!

Thought you could inv*de the mighty Pinball Fortress,

did you?

Well, now you shall pay the price!

Let 'em have it, Your Incredibleness!

Yeah! Cook their gooses!

Geese, you idiot!

What?

Never mind!

Just get back to work on the stupidity Cannon!

In the meantime, I'm going to barbecue that hedgehog!

You're doomed now!

Leave this to me.

Ooooo, Macho!

AAAAAAARGGGGGHHHH!

If you're quite done.

Hmm. Well, I'M open to suggestions.

Prepare to be EXTERMINATED!

That wasn't the suggestion I had in mind!

Then let ME make one!

But I warn you it's a cutting remark!

Very showy.

But you'll never touch my Scorpion.

Now, are you finished?

No, but your metal monstrosity is!

Look!

What! NOOOO!

Aaaaaaaarrrgh!

Come on!

Blast! They defeated my scorpion!

But no matter!

Because soon they'll all be in the power of Dr. Robotnik -

along with the rest of the planet!

Have you finished the stupidity Cannon yet!?

I just finished it, Your Vileness!

Oh you did not! I did!

Never MIND!

Just point it at that door!

And when I say "sh**t!", you fire!

Yes SIR!

OW!

So, my little blue friend!

You think you're so smart!

But as soon as you come through that door -you're going to be

stupid!

Stupid enough to even become my sl*ve!

[knocking] Eh?

Come in.

Dr. Robotnik, sir?

You!

Yes, sir.

Just wanted to surrender, sir.

WHAT!!

Yep. Ya win.

I give up.

Sorry for all the trouble I caused ya.

Here's a small treat to, ya know,

kinda express my feelings.

A treat?

How sweet!

Perhaps, due to your change of heart,

I'll exterminate you somewhat painlessly.

What kind of treat is it?

My favorite kind.

Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

--A TRICK!

Gotcha!

Aaaaaaargh!

And now we can destroy your stupidity Ray once and for all!

NO!

That Stupidity Ray is MINE!

It will allow me to create the most obedient army in the world!

NO!

That stupidity Ray is MINE!

It will allow me to become the most successful salesman

in the world!

NO!

Oh Brother, here we go again!

The stupidity Ray is MINE!

I built it and you can't have it!

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!

Okay, whatever.

Then we blast you first.

Oh, sh**t.

What was that, Your Hideousness?

I said "sh**t," you dimbot!

Uh-oh...

Uh-oh.

You okay, Dr. Robotnik?

I... fine. Ooh!

Pretty handle.

He pulled the destruct lever!

Let's get out of here!

You realize this voids your warranty!

YAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Robotnik giggling]

Uh-oh!

Sonic: Time ta jump ship, mates!

Ahhhhhh!

Um -You realize I can't hold you...

Waaaahhhhh!

Well, that takes care of the stupidity Ray.

Sorry, you two.

Ah, well.

The best soldiers are smart ones anyway.

Yeah, and having a whole planet of suckers would take all the

fun out of my job.

Well, thanks for the help anyway.

We made quite a team!

Sure did!

Sure did!

NOT!!!! [laughter]

Robotnik: Hee hee, Let's do that AGAIN!

Scratch & Grounder: NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT LEVER!

AAAAAAGHHHH!

Robotnik: Duh, I think I hate that Hedgehog,

but I dunno for sure...Wheeeeeee!

At last my new stupidity ray g*n is finished.

Oh, sh**t!

Uh-oh oops.

Y'know, pals, there's three ways not to be stupid.

One, stay in school.

Two, stay in school.

Three, don't forget one and two.