01x09 - Slumber Party

[bunniefuu]

Diane sent a listing that looks
promising. Should we go check it out?

I can't today.

Or we could go tomorrow, or
on the weekend if you like?

You know what? I'm really
swamped at work, so, uh,

why don't you, uh, ask Will?

Hey. I am sorry that I told him
I was fired before I told you.

I am sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

I made a mistake. I'm
sorry, baby. I'm sorry!

How many times do I have to say it?

Okay, if you yell, it
doesn't count as an apology.

[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay.

How long is this gonna go on for?

I don't know. I don't
have a crystal ball.

So, I'll see you at home for dinner?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Actually, no. I-I-I told Frances
I would help her with her homework,

so I'll be back no later than :.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[SYLVIA] Okay.

["BAD HABIT" PLAYING]

Well, this is easily
billable hours. I am hungry.

We should probably spend some six
minute increments having dinner.

Vanessa, what will it be? Surf or turf?

Um, I don't know. Since Dupont's
paying for it, what if we did both?

Ooh, surf and turf.

Charlie, I assume you'll be
finishing your work at home?

You know what? I am gonna stay and
push through with you guys tonight.

I miss eating steak with a plastic fork.

- Uh, special occasion, anyone?
- Ooh?

Come on. We get Charlie tonight?

- [CHUCKLING]
- You never stay late.

Normally you finish your work at home

like someone who loves his family.

Well, not tonight.

Oh, yeah!

Preach. Preach, brother.

- [LAUGHS] - Late-night
Charlie. I love it.

You know what? I don't even care
that she lost her job. sh*t happens.

The problem is that she
didn't tell you first.

A guy shouldn't learn something
like that from his photo library.

Mmm. Rookie mistake.

Whenever Doug travels for work, I
check my photos every minutes.

- Really?
- Mmm. Can't be too careful.

- Ugh. You know what? Screw it.
- [STEWART, VANESSA LAUGHING]

- Late-night Charlie. All right, guys.
- Mmm. Mmm.

I gotta go meet a... Let's say "friend."

- Excuse me.
- Ooh.

[VANESSA] Look at you.
You are an animal, huh?

Okay. That's it for
my holiday gift wine.

- You got anything around here?
- You know what?

I have a bottle of display Scotch.

- Okay. Now we're talking.
- Okay. Yes. Ooh. Very nice.

- May I?
- Mm-hmm.

Do Frank. Do Frank.

What's your name?

- He doesn't know anyone's name.
- No.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh.

Albert has Scotch in his
office. He never touches it.

- That is so Albert.
- [CHUCKLES]

Should we steal it?

- [GASPS] You're so bad.
- Yeah?

- You're so bad. Let's go.
- Let's do it. Late-night Charlie.

[SINGSONGY] Ta-da.

[CHARLIE] Oh. Ooh.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

- So bad.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

Albert's cool.

Go, go, go, go, go.

["RUN-AROUND" PLAYING]

Oh! That's really good.
This is where it gets...

No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait,
wait. I'm the deejay now.

- Okay. All right.
- I'm the deejay now. Okay?

- ["RED RED WINE" PLAYING]
- Ah.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHARLIE] Yeah!

- [VANESSA LAUGHING]
- [CHUCKLING] Yeah. Ah.

- [VANESSA SIGHS] Ah.
- Ah. [GRUNTS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY] Oh, my God. Yeah.

- Yeah. Oh. Yeah. [PANTING]
- [CHARLIE PANTING]

- I should prob... I should go. Yeah.
- I, um, me too. [CLEARS THROAT]

- I should go. I should go.
- Yes.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[MUSIC STOPS]

You were dirty dancing?
What-What is that?

Sort of, like, dancing from the movie.

[STUTTERS] Wha... You mean
the movie Dirty Dancing?

I'm just saying it was
inappropriate, and I regret it.

- Well, show me what you did.
- That's okay.

No, no. [STUTTERS] I actually, I
would like to know what happened.

- Take me there.
- I was a little drunk. I don't really remember.

What? You were drunk at work?

Ye... We had a little to drink
at work. Stewart was there.

What? Was he dirty dancing
too? What do you mean?

No, he had left by-by that time.

I would like to see
exactly what you did.

[STUTTERS]

Would you like me to put the song,
"I've Had the Time of My Life" on?

Would that help you remember?

It actually wasn't that song.

What song was it?

"Red Red Wine."

- UB?
- Yep.

- UB-serious? Oh, my God. [GAGS]
- [SIGHS DEEPLY]

I just got full body chills
from embarrassment for you. Wow.

We also dry humped for
eight to ten seconds.

- What?
- I...

- Oh, my... [GASPS] Did you kiss her?
- No.

- Do you love her?
- No.

Were you guys harboring secret
feelings for one another?

Absolutely not. I-I have no feelings
for Vanessa. She's so boring.

That doesn't make me feel any
better. She's got four kids.

She's like a fertility factory.

She's probably pregnant
with your twins already.

Absolutely not. I was
nowhere even near ejaculation.

Ew! Don't say that word.
That's disgus... Stop talking.

So, you just had, like, a quick
dry hump? What? That's so tacky.

I-I think maybe I was acting out

because of all the time
you've been spending with Will.

Oh. Oh, it's my fault?
That's so manipulative.

I'm-I'm not trying
to excuse my behavior.

I just want you to know how
I've been feeling. I am so sor...

Absolutely not! Stay back there.

Sorry. Yes, of course.
Sorry. I'll just...

Vanessa. She's so dull and humorless.

Ugh. She's like wallpaper.

Is it okay if I come and sleep here?

[CHARLIE] Okay. Zip,
zip. [CLEARS THROAT]

- Hi.
- Morning.

- [MAEVE] Morning, Mommy.
- [SIMON] Hi.

- [SYLVIA] Morning. Morning.
- Kids are fed and dressed,

and their hair is brushed.
I'm gonna drop them off.

I'm also gonna pick them up.

Oh, I made you poached
eggs. They're in the kitchen.

If they're cold, I'm happy
to make you, uh, new ones.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

- [DOOR KNOCKS]
- [CHARLIE] Ah.

Thank you, sir.

- This is, uh, oat milk latte.
- Hmm.

If it's cold, I can... I
can order you another one.

- I'm good.
- Good. What are you gonna do today?

[INHALES SHARPLY] Uh,
I think whatever I want.

Good. Yeah, great.

- [SYLVIA] Bye, guys.
- Bye.

Why is Mommy looking at you like
that? Did you do something bad?

[CHUCKLES] No. Okay.
Okay. Chop-chop. Let's go.

- Let's go. All right. Good, good.
- [SIMON] She's still doing it.

[REGGIE] Dude, are you f*cking crazy?

I'm not crazy at all.

That kombucha business
would not exist without me.

You are only able to get investors
because of what I built in this bar.

- I'm entitled to a piece of that business.
- You sound f*cking insane right now.

Why is this insane? We
talked about it in San Diego.

- You were open to it.
- Yeah. That was before

you blew the Johnny deal, ass.

I f*cked up that deal for moral reasons.

That had nothing to do with my
business acumen, which is vast.

I have been described as
a regular Warren Buffett!

- Oh, it's "Buffett". But go off...
- You shut the f*ck up.

Okay? And if I remember correctly,

that deal was tanking until
I stepped in and saved it.

Well, let me ask you this,

how much do you think you
deserve in this situation?

Good question.

Because I do not wanna
get so brutally f*cked over

by you two gentlemen, %.

Oh, my God. You're
f*cking out of your mind.

Fifty-two percent.

- Oh, my God.
- What... Y...

You have no leverage, and
this is not a negotiation.

- You're just asking for money.
- Fifty-three percent.

No, dude. I don't
negotiate with t*rrorists.

Fifty-four percent.

- Omar gets it.
- Will, this is not happening.

We built the entire groundwork
of Daa Booch without you.

You stood on the shoulders of giants.

I'm sorry. Are you
"giants" in this situation?

I sure am giants.

I put up with your sh*t
for so f*cking long.

I want you to look me in
the eye so you can hear

that this is not f*cking happening!

You want some leverage? I'll
show you my f*cking leverage.

I'm gonna squirt leverage in your
f*cking face. I'm going on strike!

- [REGGIE] f*ck you, bro.
- Oh, you're going on strike?

You're going on strike on your business?

Oh, I sure as f*ck am.

Let's see how well this place
runs without me around, huh?

I will return when I
am cut into Daa Booch.

And by the way, my first order of
business as majority shareholder,

I'm changing that f*cking name.

[REGGIE] d*ck.

Oh, he'll be back.

In one, two, three,

four...

Oh, sh*t.

Omar, can you take care of
the t*nk room while he's gone?

- That does not inspire confidence.
- [ANDY SIGHS]

I mean, she's so accomplished.
Look at all the boards she's on.

Oh, my God. Who gives a
sh*t what boards she's on?

She looks like a crazy person.
She looks like Amy Coney Barrett.

You mean, one of the most
powerful women in America?

Yes. But I think you get my point.

I mean, how does she have time
to do all this? She has four kids.

She's partner, and she
literally has a newborn.

And it's really cute too. It's
not even a weird looking baby.

Yeah. She probably never sees it.
She probably never sees any of them.

They're gonna grow up
resenting her. Mark my words.

They're just gonna grow
up and wanna be her.

I mean, could he have
picked a worse person?

She's partner in the
firm, she has four kids.

She's very blonde, she's very tall.

Okay, yeah. Let's do it your way.

Wow, I mean, she is beautiful,

- she's accomplished.
- [CHUCKLES]

[STUTTERS] I think
the-the right thing to do

is to give your husband to her.

She's basic as hell!
She's f*cking boring.

Yeah. She's not even actually that cute.

And who dry humps? Take your
f*cking pants off and do it right.

She's a quitter. She's a quitter.

What am I gonna do about
Charlie? He needs to pay for this.

Uh, jewelry?

[SIGHS] Yeah? Is dry
humping worth jewelry?

Sounds like purse-level.

Syl, are you okay? Do
you want me to come over?

No, no, no. I'm okay. I'm okay.

[KNOCKS]

I gotta go. Someone's at
the door. Thanks, babe.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Hey. You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine. Just... paper
cut. What are you doing here?

I took the day off work. Honestly,
I just need someone to complain to.

- Oh, well, you've come to the right place.
- Thought so.

So, you think they'll give
you a cut-in on the Daa Booch?

I do think they'll cut
me into da Daa Booch,

and they'll give me da money,

and I can, uh, da retire.

- Really? [CHUCKLES]
- To da islands. [CHUCKLING]

Why do you think that?

Whose side are you on here?

I don't know. I'm really just
trying to slice this meat. [GRUNTS]

I think they will see how much

the business needs me
to function properly

and they will project that onto
Daa Booch, and they, you know,

they-they'll be begging
me to be a part of it.

I honestly don't know why
you find this relaxing.

Cooking dinner is, like,
the biggest chore of my day.

Oh, it's so relaxing.

There's one where you clean
up a little mouse's apartment.

Also amazing.

Oh, hey, Will.

- Hey!
- What are you guys up to?

Can you not see that we are
virtually creating a meal

with a pair of disembodied
Caucasian hands?

- [SYLVIA CHUCKLES]
- Oh. Oh, right. I see.

Hey, where are the kids?

- Huh?
- The kids.

They're in the garden. Yeah.
They each brought a friend home,

and they're waiting for you
to take them out for pizza.

- Pizza? Great. Okay. Good.
- [YELPS]

Um, can I get you guys anything?

Yeah, I'll take a pepperoni.
Will, what do you want?

Oh, I'll take some mushroom pizza
if you're buying pizza. Yeah.

And I'd love a bottle of rosé, please.

Like, a Whispering Angel or whatever.

If you happen to walk past an
IPA. It doesn't have to be local,

but if it is, I would, uh,
I would take that as well.

Okay, sure. Okay. Okay.

- [SYLVIA] Thanks.
- [CHARLIE] All right.

Hey, kids! Pizza!

- Flip, flip, flip!
- Flip that meatball! Flip it! Flip it!

- Ah! Oh! Hey! Flip!
- Oh, there you go. Hey! Hey!

- [MAEVE] Piz-Pizza!
- [CHILDREN CHATTERING]

Can Jack sleep over?

Yeah, sure. Why not?
Friday night, yeah? Oh!

If Jack sleeps over, the other
kids are gonna wanna sleep over...

Gemma, Shelby, you
guys wanna sleep over?

[CHILDREN CHEERING]

- Yay!
- [CHILDREN CHATTERING]

- Okay! Let's go! Pizza time!
- Okay. You tell their parents, yeah?

Minivan keys are on the hook!

- Yep. Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Fun house. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, yeah. Friday night.

- [WILL GROANS] Whoo.
- [PEOPLE SHOUTING, CLAMORING]

I really wish you had a
security camera in your backyard,

I'd be famous right now.

Yeah, as a stupid person.

- Is there any other kind of famous person?
- [LAUGHS]

Um, the, uh, four
little ones are in bed.

[SIGHS] I'm not sure that Shelby's
gonna make it through the night

because she's five, and
she's never slept over

at anyone's house before.

[INHALES SHARPLY] So, uh,
I think I'll probably, uh...

[YAWNS] ... hit the hay.

Um, in case I get woken up at : a.m.

Oh, should I, uh, should I get going?

I didn't realize it was bedtime
'cause it's :, but, um...

Oh, no, you should just stay the night.

Yeah? Is that cool?

- Cool.
- I don't wanna impose or anything, but...

No, I mean, your nails
have to dry anyway.

- My nails do have to dry.
- Yeah.

I would hate to ruin
them, I worked pretty hard.

Sure, okay. Um, hey, Sylvia, are you...

- [MOUTHING WORDS] ... coming?
- [SYLVIA, WILL LAUGHING] Oh! Oh!

[CHARLIE] Okay. I'll grab
the air mattress then.

I'm not clicking on that,

but I will click on the
Brandy Melville mega-haul.

- [WILL] Oh!
- [SYLVIA GROANS]

Oh, my God. I know that girl.

I actually like that
shirt. I would wear that.

- I've been looking for that.
- [WILL] It's actually cute.

- It comes in green as well...
- [AIR MATTRESS PUMP WHIRRING]

Oh, my God. Can you wait until after

we've watched this
Brandy haul to do that?

[AIR MATTRESS PUMP STOPS]

[WILL] She seems pretty self-centered.

[SYLVIA] Yeah. I don't...
I'm not loving her.

[WILL] I can... I go shopping too,

I don't post it on
YouTube every f*cking time.

Click on that. "Why NASA doesn't
want you to know the earth is flat."

Yeah, my dad's all about that.

Yeah, he has some pretty
convincing arguments.

- Mm-hmm. He posts about it too.
- Yeah.

[WILL CHEWING]

Sounds like you're jerking
off your arms over there.

Ew. Leave a woman to her creams.

Thank you so much for inviting
me to this slumber party.

I'm in such a better mood than I
would've been if I was alone all day.

Aw. Yeah, that's the thing
about never being alone.

You just never have
time to feel anything.

- That sounds amazing.
- Good.

Do you ever think about leaving
Lucky Penny, like, for real?

It just seems like you and those guys,

you really do not see eye to eye.

Yeah. You know, as much as I
hate the business side of it,

I just like making beer too much.
I don't know what else I would do.

- Doritosaurus. Doritosaurus.
- Doritosaurus. [GROWLS, CHUCKLES]

I don't know why you wanna
move. This house is awesome.

[GROANS] It's way too
small for the five of us.

You've got a garage back
there you're not even using.

It's gross back there.
It's like a meth lab.

Most meth labs I've been to
have been impeccably clean.

Well, ours is disgusting.

We bought this house, and we just...

[STUTTERS] ... never touched it again.

You could turn it into an ADU,
like an additional dwelling unit.

Uh, you know, like a little
guesthouse kinda thing.

We don't want guests.

We just want another
bedroom and another bathroom.

That's exactly what you
could put back there.

I don't know. That
sounds like a big project.

Not a bigger project
than moving, you know?

It would add square footage.

It would add to the
resale value of your home,

which is very responsible
of you as an adult.

Well, I would not even
know where to begin

to get something like
that off the ground.

- I would. I could help you.
- Really?

Yeah. I, um, converted our garage

into a little office
for Audrey that, uh,

she later went on to have sex with
Adolf Eichmann's great-grandson in.

[CHUCKLES] Wow. You did that yourself?

I did. Over the course
of a bunch of weekends,

but yeah. It wasn't a big deal.

Wow, look at you. You're,
like, a secret man.

Why's it a secret that I'm a man?

Because you wear ladies'
hats, and you have a purse.

And you're wearing some
very pretty nail polish,

and we're having a slumber party.

- Yeah, that makes sense.
- [CHUCKLES]

- When you cheated on Audrey, did you...
- I did not cheat,

uh, I hooked up with a
rando. Please, some respect.

- [GROANS] Pardon me.
- Yeah.

- Uh, when you hooked up with a rando...
- Thank you.

... did... did Audrey
drive you to do that?

Like, did she drop me off at
the rando's condo in Laguna Hill?

Yeah. Did she take you there?

- That's so nice.
- Oh, you mean,

like, figuratively speaking? [CHUCKLES]

No. Did she treat you in a way
that made you wanna act out?

You know, at the time,

I would've said yes.

Uh... [CHUCKLES] ... but I was just
justifying bad behavior, you know?

Um, as much as we fought,

it was a shitty thing to do,
and I wouldn't do that again.

Do you think it ended your marriage?

No. Definitely not.

Our marriage was doomed way before that.

If we actually... If we
had a better marriage,

we could've worked
through that, you know?

[INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS]
Why do you have all these questions?

[BREATHES DEEPLY] Uh,

I, uh... I am thinking
of writing a novel.

- Really?
- Mmm.

Let me be the first to tell
you it sounds genuinely awful.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

It's called Before Adolf.

- Yes. Oh, good. Perfect. "R" for Rando.
- [LAUGHING]

- Whoa. Gummies are starting to hit.
- Hey. Those gummies be hittin', yo.

- I'm gonna need some fries.
- [KNOCKING]

I had that same thought minutes ago.

- What?
- You can thank me later!

Ring-a-ding-ding.

- Morning.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

Hi.

[MAEVE] I like your picture.

- [CHARLIE] Good morning.
- How'd you sleep?

Ah, pretty well.

Uh, Maeve and Shelby came into
our room a couple of times,

but, you know... [YAWNS]
... I'm still alive.

Uh, did you and Will have a nice night?

Yeah. Actually, Will had
a really interesting idea.

What if he converted the
garage into a guest room?

[CHUCKLES]

What? What's so funny?
I could design it.

Wait, you're serious? Wha...

What do we need a guesthouse
for? Aren't we trying to move?

Well, it could be useful
until we find a new place.

It doesn't have to be for guests.

- It's just extra square footage.
- Wait, how will that even help us?

It's not like we can move one
of the kids into the garage.

- I could use it as an office.
- An office for what?

Uh...

Yes, it sounds like a good plan.

Thank you.

- Morning.
- Morning.

[LAUGHS] I smell coffee.

- Coffee?
- Yeah, thank you. Charles?

- [CHARLIE] Yes?
- I have a lawyerly question for you.

I'm in a fight with
my business partners.

See, they started, like,
a side business without me,

and I should very much be
a part of it. What do I do?

Um, well, the first thing you need to do

is negotiate with them separately.

That way, you can divide and conquer.

Ooh, I like that.

- He's good.
- Mmm.

You wanna hang out this afternoon
and chop it up about the ADU?

Charlie loves the idea.

- Really? You saw the light?
- Yep. Yeah.

Love it. Well, adieu. Get it?

- ADU?
- Oh, ADU.

- [CHUCKLING] I do. I do.
- I do. Hey, you do get it.

Is Will wearing my clothes?

Would you prefer he wore mine?

[SYLVIA] Hey, Will,
you wanna get pancakes?

Look, I don't feel comfortable

talking about business
without Reggie here.

Who got you your first job as a barback?

- All right, you did.
- Look, Reggie might know about money,

and I will give him that,
and he is good at that.

But he knows nothing about
actually starting a liquor company,

and I know about that. I can actually...

I can get you guys more cash if
you cut me into this sh*t, okay?

Okay. Look, I'll talk to Reggie.
We'll set something up for tomorrow.

We can figure something out. Cool?

- Very cool. Thank you. Yes.
- We good? Okay. I love that.

Now, more importantly,
I know we just ate,

but that unagi truck is open today,

and I'm on the wait-list. So what's up?

I can't. I told Sylvia I'd go meet her.

[CHUCKLING] How is she?

What does that mean?

Uh, what are you... I mean...
Nah, it's all good. Never mind.

What do you mean, "never
mind"? You said it like...

[STAMMERS] You clearly
said it with meaning.

- It's nothing.
- What... It's something.

- It's not.
- [STAMMERS] It is clearly something.

- What the f*ck is going on?
- Okay, look, I can't tell you.

This is intel from Katie.
Sylvia told her in confidence,

and I can't air my baby's
sh*t out. That is what it is.

- It's too late! You've already told me.
- I have not told you.

- You've betrayed your baby!
- I haven't.

- Your baby's been betrayed. Tell me.
- She hasn't.

I'm your baby.

Okay. [CHUCKLES] All
right, I'ma tell you.

So the other night, Charlie
was working late with some girl.

- He got drunk and...
- Oh, my God. Charlie cheated on Sylvia?

No, they dry humped.

- What?
- They dry humped.

They dry humped?

Dry humped.

Was there kissing?

- Dry humped.
- Touch his d*ck?

Dry humped.

Did he cream his jeans?

No, because that would be wet.
This was dry. Just dry hump.

- That is so weird.
- [CHUCKLES] I know, right?

- That is...
- It's f*cked up.

Me and Katie have gone deep on
it, bro. It's really strange.

It is very strange.

- It's really strange.
- What a weird thing to do.

Is that even cheating?

I mean, it's not, like, cheating,
but it's not not cheating.

[STAMMERS] I would not like my partner

out there dry humping m*therf*ckers.

- It kinda feels worse.
- 'Cause it's weirder.

It is. And it would
make sense from Charlie,

because he's, like, this handsome guy,

and he's super nice. No one's like that.

It's true. He seems like
the deprivation of wetness

would kinda get him off.

- Weirdo.
- The dryness is part of the allure.

Friction.

- Wow. I wonder why Sylvia didn't tell me.
- Yeah.

What do you mean? It's
f*cking embarrassing.

- True.
- Didn't think he had it in him,

- to be honest with you, but...
- He didn't have it in him.

- He was dry humping. It was dry.
- [CHUCKLING]

Yo.

- Hi. How did it go with Andy?
- Hello.

It was good. It was good to talk to him.

Good, good. Glad to hear.

Yeah. How you doing?

- Good.
- Yeah? You okay?

Why?

Um, Andy, uh... [CHUCKLES]

I mean, he mentioned to me
what happened with Charlie.

Oh. [STAMMERS] That's nothing.

- Really?
- [STAMMERS] Yeah. I, uh...

You know, it just...

It happened one time. It's not
gonna happen again, and we're fine.

- Do you wanna talk about it at all?
- No, I'm good.

All right.

So, I was thinking that
this would be great for me

if we could turn it
into an office space.

All right. What, uh... What
exactly are you looking for?

[SIGHS] Um, you know,

like over-stuffed sofas, cashmere
blankets, things like that.

Okay. So, like a she shed?

No, like an elevated office space.

You want, like, little
chandeliers everywhere,

maybe a small fridge with rosé in it,

- magazine racks with Us Weekly, Cosmo?
- Ooh.

That sounds amazing.

That's a basic-bitch she
shed. Hate to break it to you.

- Wow. Nice.
- Yes.

Bigger than I thought.

Yeah. So? I mean,
obviously needs some work,

but it's got some potential, right?

This will make a great taco trove.

Okay.

- Hmm. That's strange.
- What?

These posts aren't fastened to
the foundation in any real way.

Oh. That doesn't sound very good.

This whole thing is actually just
being held up by these four things,

and they're really not
attached to anything.

- Huh.
- It's okay. We can...

We can reinforce them.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. It'll be fine.

- Okay.
- It'll be fine.

- [METALLIC CLATTERING]
- Do you hear that?

Uh, uh, yeah.

- [CHITTERING]
- [SCREAMS]

- [SCREAMING] Oh! Oh, my God!
- Ah! f*ck! Help! Help! f*ck!

Oh, my God! sh*t! Oh,
my God! [SCREAMING]

[WILL SCREAMS] Get out!
Get the f*ck outta here!

[SCREAMS] He's on the door! I can't!

[SCREAMS]

- [BOTH SCREAMING]
- [SHED CRUMBLING]

Oh, sh*t. Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

- That's... That's a structural problem.
- Oh, no.

- That's not good. Are you okay?
- Oh, my God.

- I'm okay. Oh, f*ck, are you okay?
- I'm okay.

- Look at my house!
- What happened?

You won't f*cking believe
what happened, man.

- A raccoon jumped on me...
- Oh, my God.

- ... I knocked into the poles...
- Then the thing fell down.

- ... and it fell.
- A racc... What?

I don't think this
was permitted properly.

- [SYLVIA] ... an earthquake.
- This is not what I expected.

- That makes one of us.
- [SYLVIA] Me either.

- No, but we... we can figure it out.
- It'll be okay.

Can you... Can you
figure this out? Really?

- Yes!
- I, %, cannot fix this.

Really? It doesn't seem
like you can figure this out.

- I can't.
- It's okay. We have this under control.

Honestly? Because destroying our house

is not the best way of
dealing with being upset.

You don't get to tell me
how to deal with my feelings.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Can we
please talk about this alone?

I'm gonna go.

Come on. You don't have to go.

You know, your husband said he wanted
to talk to you alone. It's fine.

[SYLVIA] The ADU was your idea.

Now that you've destroyed my
garage, you gotta help me fix it.

[WILL] I'll come back and
I'll... I'll help another time.

But in the meantime,
uh, deal with your sh*t.

Excuse me. That was a small argument

that happens over the course
of a long marriage. It's fine.

But I guess that's something
you might not understand.

It does not seem fine.

[SIGHS]

[SYLVIA] Oh, my God. [SIGHS]
Well, this looks good.

Babe, I'm sorry.

I know.

You know what happened
between Vanessa and me

was in no way, shape or form your fault.

[SIGHS] Thank you.

And you know that this has
nothing to do with Vanessa.

And you know that that doesn't
make me feel any better, right?

I do, I do, and I'm sorry.

I just...

What?

[SIGHS] It's nothing.

Just tell me, babe, please. What?

I don't like feeling like the
second-most important man in your life.

- You mean, after Simon? [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]

- Okay, the third-most
important... - Hey.

... man in your life.

[SYLIVIA] I just...

I think since Maeve's gone
back to school full-time,

I just feel, um, a little bit of a mess.

And for some reason, it's
easier to talk to Will

about it than to talk to you.

That doesn't make me feel great.

I know. I wanna tell
you everything first.

You're my husband, but I don't know.

For some reason, it's just hard.

Why? I love you so much.

- You can tell me anything.
- I know.

Because it's embarrassing
being a mess in front of you,

and Will's a much bigger mess than I am,

or at least an equal mess. I don't know.

- Okay. Yeah, I... Yeah, I...
- Does that make any sense?

I get it. Kind of.

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

And next time you, like,
dry hump with someone,

would you mind doing it
with someone just, like,

slightly less accomplished?

Mmm, like Judge Sotomayor?

No, that's the wrong direction.

- [CHUCKLES] I promise. I promise.
- [CHUCKLES]

So...

- [SYLVIA] What are we going to do?
- I don't know. [CHUCKLES]

What's the deal with the new
listing? When can we see the house?

"This weekend," she said.

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be the one.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

[CHITTERS]

- Oh, my God. This guy again.
- Aw.

- This guy, huh? Oh, it's not cute.
- Aw. Oh, it's cute.

It's cute. [STRAINS]
It's cute, and I got ya.

- You're cute.
- Aw. You're cute.

- [CHUCKLES] Hmm? Hey?
- [CHUCKLES]

Okay, what's this?

That is a list of names

for our hard kombucha
company that I approve of.

- Kombucha Cha-Cha?
- Kombu Cha-Cha Cha.

Oh, like the legendary Afro-Cuban dance.

Exactly. If you don't like that,
there's plenty more on the list.

- [CHUCKLES] I kinda like Boochy Call.
- [REGGIE] What? No, dude.

Daa Booch is the perfect f*cking
name. We're not changing anything.

Come on. You're the one
who called me over here

and said we were gonna
talk things through.

Also, who the f*ck is this guy?

- No one.
- Yeah, he's just a guy.

- He's just a guy?
- [ANDY] Mmm.

Is this an intervention? Is
this guy an "interventionalist"?

No, he's not that.

This guy drinks more than I do.

You don't wanna know the sh*t
this m*therf*cker gets up to.

Also, I'm not going to rehab
unless it's that place in Malibu.

That place actually looks really...
It's right on the water, right?

This isn't about drinking,
Will. This is just business.

So it's not an intervention?

Nah, dude. Clark, he's
just here to listen.

Is he a f*cking professional
listener? What is happening right now?

Will, you have done an incredible job

getting Lucky Penny up and running.

We think that maybe it's
time you take a step away.

Why are we talking about
Lucky Penny right now?

Bro, this sh*t ain't
working, okay? You gotta go.

- Are you guys trying to force me out?
- Yes.

No, he can't be forced out.

He has to voluntarily
decide to do this on his own.

Why is he correcting you?
Is this guy a f*cking lawyer?

Yes, I am a lawyer.

Ah, bro, you didn't have to
disclose that information.

Yes, I do.

Will, look. You know
I love you, all right?

But we disagree about everything, bro.

We disagree about what
f*cking beers to make.

We disagree about who to
partner with. It's ridiculous.

I'm sorry I didn't want to partner
with a geriatric sexual predator.

No, f*ck Johnny Rev, okay?
It's about more than that.

Like I said, it's everything, bro.

You cannot take this bar away from me.

This place is my life.
I built it from nothing.

Nobody's trying to take
the bar away from you.

Besides, we legally can't do that.

- Yeah, we legally can't do that.
- See?

Like, it's not that surprising
coming from him because he sucks.

I genuinely expected more from you,
man. How could you do this to me?

- No, Will...
- Where you going, dawg?

I am not going anywhere,
'cause this is my bar.

That is my beer. You are
never getting rid of me.

That went a lot better than I thought.

What did you think would happen, Omar?

I don't know, physical stuff.

Karate, Kn*fe play.
You know, like a show.

Have you ever had Johnny Blue?

No.

My motto, "Work hard, play hard."

There's nothing in there.

Yeah... [STUTTERS] ...
I can f*cking see that.

Or we could just drink one of these.

No, no. Just get the f*ck
out. Get out, get out.

["WORK HARD, PLAY HARD" PLAYING]

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]