01x08 - Never Hug a Mogwai

[bunniefuu]

Whoa. Guys.

Did I actually, like, really die back in Fengdong?

'Cause this looks

way too good to be true.

If this was my home,

I'd do anything to get back here, too.

I wish my grandpa were here

to see this.

Nuwa, too.

Nuwa's going to be okay.

Probably.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, sir.

Not getting stuck

in that worried Sam head.

Not when there's so much

good stuff happening.

I mean, for one, I'm alive

after being dead.

Dead-ish.

Uh, still amazing.

And we're in

The Valley of Jade.

Tons of people have spent

their lives trying to get here.

And look who made it.

A super sheltered goody-goody,

a highly-skilled, brilliant pickpocket and

a pint-sized circus escapee.

Huh?

Hey! Hey, it's me!

Stop!

Gizmo? Gizmo!

Wow, it's so great to see you!

Come on! Come on!

Hey, everyone! Gizmo is back!

Hey, everyone!

- Gizmo!

- Yay!

Friends! Brought me home!

Oh

Calm down, calm down.

It's okay!

It's okay, it's okay!

We made it.

We really made it.

You must be

the celestial administrator.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Oh, I know who you are.

I assist and open portals for Nuwa,

and you are no Nuwa.

In fact,

according to your life file,

you're an only child,

an excellent speller

and a petty magic hoarder

with only one good trick of your own:

stealing magic know-how

from others smarter and more talented.

Yet, no matter how much

power you collect,

you'll never fill your aching void inside

because you were

Checks notes

never hugged as a child.

Not even by your own mother.

There.

Hug yourself.

I'll never open

a portal for you.

Why would I ever need

your help

when I'm already a God?

Get him! Get him!

Greene!

Odd-Odd!

Jiangshi!

Huh. Grandpa was right.

He really is an entertainer.

Hey, Giz,

after you're done with pretend us,

can real us get our treasure?

Huh?

Come on, Gizmo.

I don't want your rock.

I want treasure, you know,

to trade for goods and services

like non-stolen food

in a non-shack room.

Oh!

What is this?

Jewelry?

No, that's Nuwa's!

And a Kn*fe?

Ha! It has everything.

That's Nuwa's Kn*fe?

From the story?

The clay Kn*fe she used

to create you?

Oh, so how does it work?

Did she use it to shape

a special clay?

Or more like a wand?

What to create?

Ooh, I know!

You were thinking of gold,

weren't you?

I think about it a lot.

Mm-hm.

So let's put the Kn*fe back.

Nuwa used that to make

and unmake creatures.

- And non-Gods shouldn't play God.

- Yeah!

Gizmo, I'm really sorry

about the butterfly,

but I was promised treasure.

- Maybe the real treasure is

- If you say friendship,

so help me. I will

The rocks are jade?

Sam! Sam! The rocks are jade.

Beautiful, bright,

valuable jade.

Oh, it's everywhere!

We're rich! Do you realize

what this means?

We can take an airship

to anywhere in the world.

I can get new clothes.

Oh, oh, thank you.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you!

But first Shanghai.

Straight back.

We helped Gizmo.

Now you help me

help my parents.

You promised.

Right!

I didn't forget.

I said I'd help you bust them out.

And now, I know exactly

how we're going to do it.

You didn't know before?

I don't need to know anything ever again,

because money beats everything.

Even magic.

We'll buy off Greene's g*ons,

set your parents free.

Aw. I'm going to

miss you, too, little guy.

We both are.

But I have to return

to my family now.

We have to say goodbye.

No. No bye!

Yes bye

But maybe

we can visit sometime?

Yeah, probably not.

Come here.

Gizmo with Sam.

Gizmo with Elle.

Never bye.

Boo!

Sam. Elle.

Assorted mogwai.

I believe you bow before a God.

What did you do to Nuwa?

Yeah! What did you do?

What I always do when

someone has knowledge I want:

I swallowed her and took it.

My plan was to gather

all these furry ones,

sell their immortality and procure riches

beyond your tiny, poor children dreams.

But as I've been processing

Nuwa's alcohol-drenched memories,

I realized this valley may hold

more than mogwai.

So it is here.

No way!

- Hello, Gizmo!

- No!

Mr. Greene,

you better get out of here.

This is the Kn*fe of creation.

Nuwa made the mogwai with it.

And now, I'm going to use it

to protect them.

Sam Wing,

your naivety is infinite,

but its charm is not.

Lower the Kn*fe.

You have no idea how dangerous

it can be in the wrong hands.

You can keep them safe.

I am the right hands.

I know your grandfather

told you that, but he was wrong.

No, the Kn*fe belongs

with someone

who has the mental fortitude

to use it correctly.

It's a deceptively simple tool.

One needs only to think

of something with perfect focus.

And then, poof! Creation.

But perfect focus

means no stray thoughts.

No fear, no self-doubt.

Are you sure of yourself, Sam?

I've searched through all

your grandfather's memories,

and he does not remember you

as a very confident boy,

and I'm sure they don't either.

- Sam!

- Sam!

Dad? Mom?

What are they

Creation magic gone wrong

can go very wrong.

For example, let's say you want

to make wings for your mother so she doesn't fall and die.

But you're also hungry.

When is the last time you ate?

Wouldn't a hot steamer

of bao taste good?

And now you're thinking

about wings, and your mother and bao.

Delicious bao.

And you use the Kn*fe.

Poof! Your mom's wings

flap around,

and so does her giant bao head.

He's lying, Sam! Don't listen.

You can do it!

Use it now!

I can't I

Yes

Behold, the Kn*fe of creation!

It once belonged to a God,

and now it belongs to me.

Also a God!

Only one thing remains

for my ascension

to be complete.

A taste of eternal life.

Mine!

No!

No! Stop, stop, stop!

Stop it! Stop!

Yes. Yes!

I I feel it!

I am immortal!

No!

No!

Brothers and sisters.

Lord Greene has entrusted us

to round up our furry brethren

for his grand plans.

So, please, don't hurt them

too noticeably.

Appearances matter.

Hm.

What can this Kn*fe do for me?

I already ate a mogwai,

but I am still peckish.

Not bad, but I want a meal

elegant enough for me.

No, no. Undo, undo.

That's enough practice for today,

my divine blade.

Now, let's make sure

you know your master.

Hm

What happened?

Where's my mom and dad?

Where's Gizmo?

Look for yourself.

- Wha what do we do?

- We?

You had the Kn*fe.

He was right there.

If you could have

at least tried,

we could be dealing with

a gold statue right now instead of this.

I didn't know what to do.

You sh**t the Kn*fe!

It's not that simple.

What if I used the Kn*fe

and everything went wrong?

You would have felt the same.

I would have used the Kn*fe

without a second thought,

and you know it.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Hey, ugly mogwai.

Can someone please

come knock me out?

Anything, so I don't have

to hear these lame apologies?

Shush!

Another big talker?

Come on! You know what?

Why not just skip to the end

and just k*ll me?

Oh, Elle. I am a God now.

I'm not going to k*ll you

when you don't matter at all.

It would seem petty.

No, I came up here

for Sam Wing.

I have a present for him.

I don't want anything from you.

Hm. Yes, you do.

I believe in giving credit

where credit is due.

And you led me here.

I could not have achieved

my one true destiny without you

and your parental leverage.

So, thank you.

Oh, Sam!

Now, goodbye. Forever.

Mom. Dad. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

I never should

have left Shanghai.

I never should have

gone to the circus.

I never

Greene was right.

I led them all here.

And when it mattered, I froze.

Sweetheart,

don't punish yourself.

We're together now.

Yeah, right.

Gonna die together.

Just because you're no longer

with Greene, doesn't mean we suddenly like you.

Mom, stop!

Elle saved my life.

We've got to go down there

and help save Gizmo.

Hey. Hey, you guys!

That guy's cheating.

And your plan is?

To not do nothing.

Stay low, behind me.

Deal, done.

You know, it's funny

how Godhood alters one's perspective.

Like my original plans

for these mogwai seem adorably small,

now that I have

the Kn*fe of creation.

So consider our deal changed.

Deal!

As Miss Claw's liaison, sir,

she would like the ship now.

- Quite understandable

- Yes, yes, I remember the deal.

But circumstances have changed.

The ship is irrelevant.

I am going to open a portal

straight to Shanghai

and your kind running free

and wreaking havoc in my brave new world,

that's not going to work.

This is where you shall stay.

In your ancestral home.

Where mogwai belong.

By your blank stare,

I assume you understand.

Mm-hm.

Very good.

Now, if you will excuse me.

I don't want to be late

for my portal to Shanghai.

Ah, new plan.

Finally, Shanghai.

Then, the world.

For he's

A jolly good fellow ♪

Oh, my God. This is insane.

It is. But also

kind of moving.

This isn't like them.

Something is wrong.

Fellow ♪

Which nobody can deny! ♪

Mm-hm.

Aw

Isn't a hug

what you always wanted?

Allow yourself

to accept love, sir.

You idiots!

You can't defeat me

with pure force.

I'm the apex

of power and intellect.

I thought of everything

and more

than you puny numbskulls

can ever imagine!

I even enchanted my Kn*fe,

so that if anyone tried

to steal it,

it would magnetize to my hand!

No one can take it from me.

Now what?

Why are you smiling?

Oh, my!

That was my magic hand.

My

My right hand may have

held more power,

but my left can still

summon enough to

No hand!

Gizmo!

Now, Gizmo. I imagine you're

a bit stressed right now.

After all, the clay Kn*fe of creation

demands perfect concentration.

And like any true mogwai,

our glorious

monstress-in-chief, Lady Claw,

is remarkably single minded.

Always focused on one thing

- Fun!

- Fun.

Fun, fun, fun, fun!

I know it feels like she's only

doing this to spite you,

but she's also doing this

to break you.

Elle! What are you doing?

Our family is quite dysfunctional,

eh, my brother/father?

Shanghai!

Go!

No!

No!