02x15 - Bad Boy

[bunniefuu]

Bye, Pops. We out.

See ya.

Alright! What are we gonna see?

We are gonna see the new Alien flick.

and you are gonna see us leave.

Mm-hmm. In digital Dolby sound.

You ready for the Dolby sound?

[door slams]

Did you see that?

They get to go to a movie, and they leave

me, stuck here at the house.

Where's the justice?

Sometimes they just wanna hang out

with guys their own age, Teej.

Yeah. You don't wanna be the annoying

tag-along kid,

who follows them everywhere, do you?

Sure.

Hey, I got an idea, little man.

Why don't we do something together?

We?

As in you and me?

Sure. It'll be fun.

You can hang out with your pops all day.

We can kick it. What you say, huh, homie?

I say...

What are you doing tonight?

♪ Another slice of the life

Of master T.J. Henderson ♪

♪ Super intelligent,

A fine young gentleman ♪

♪ A -year-old whiz kid

Bustin' high school ♪

♪ A pugnacious little shorty

With a thousand I.Q. ♪

♪ He's got a way with the ladies ♪

♪ And he's keepin' it real ♪

♪ Your favorite little study buddy

He knows the deal ♪

♪ That he's still just a kid

On the ball, very clever ♪

♪ You can say that he's bright

Brainy, gifted, whatever ♪

♪ Your brother is smart ♪

♪ He's a smart guy ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ He's a smart guy ♪

Alright! Mega motorcycle .

Superstar virtual soccer.

Ultimate Alpine ski challenge.

Which game do you wanna play first, Dad?

I'm gonna play the "look at the tools

at sears" game.

I'll be back in a half hour.

[bell chimes]

I got next.

May be a little while, yo.

Use your M- pack g*n.

I got this, yo.

Aw, snap. Look at him trying to get away.

Hit the anti-gear m*ssile.

I'm trying to. I'm trying to.

Boo yow!

million.

See them initials, B-A-D?

That's me, Brandi Andrea Dixon.

I got high score and second highest score.

b*at that, yo.

You're on.

Uh, what's up with that sweater, G?

It's cold out.

It's never that cold.

You should spend less time

knocking my sweater

and more time protecting your rocket pod.

Too late. It's dust.

Boo yow!

And we have a new champion,

And it's spelled T-J-H.

million.

You might dress funny,

But I gotta give you your props on that.

And I gotta take 'em.

You wanna play another game?

Yeah.

How'd you get so good

at these games anyway?

I've got all kinds of video games

at my house.

If you want,

you could come over and try them.

Uh. What about tomorrow?

Great. I'll give you my card.

You have a card?

People have cards.

Listen, why don't I go get us something

to drink?

Whooping you made me thirsty.

Winner pays.

So, who's the little nerd, yo?

Yeah. Polo boy your new boo?

No. I don't know who he is.

He just keeps following me around.

Won't leave me alone.

You want me to tell him to step off?

No. Let's bounce before he get back.

Brandi?

Brandi.

Hey, Yvette, you're a woman, right?

Nothing gets by you, T.J.

Then explain this to me.

I meet a girl, we get along really well,

I go get us some freezies,

I come back, and she's gone.

-How old?

-My age.

She blew you off.

But we were having a good time.

She's young. She didn't know

how to tactfully let you down,

So, she took off.

So, that's the end of it?

Afraid so. You won't see her again.

[knock on door]

Whassup? T.j. Here?

That's her.

Really?

Go figure.

If you're looking for

your blueberry freezie,

It's long gone.

Sorry I had to leave you last night.

I had some business to take care of.

So, are we still on for games?

Well... okay.

Cool. You got something to drink?

Sure.

You promise to be here when I get back?

Alright. Bet.

Hey, Dad. You know that cool girl

I told you about

from the arcade last night?

-Mmm

-She's here.

Really? That's great.

I told you the arcade

was a good place to go.

You made a new friend,

and I got a craftsman skill saw.

On second thought, can you hook me up

with some coffee?

It was cold as a mug outside.

Hey, Pops.

-[T.J.] Right there.

-This is your friend?

Yeah. Brandi, this is my dad.

Whassup?

Excuse me.

Does your mother let you drink coffee?

Coffee, yes.

This weak stuff, no.

I'll peep you in the other room.

"I'll peep you in the other room."

She says stuff like that all the time.

Does she dress like that all the time?

Girl's pants are so low,

I can see her boxer shorts.

I know, Dad. It's just the style.

I know it's the style, in San Quentin.

Dad, you're so out of touch.

Physics.

Chemistry.

Triga-what?

Trigonometry.

It's the function of an angle

expressed as a ratio of two of the sides

of a right triangle

that contains that angle.

So, how many times a day

do you get b*at up?

Less than you think. I'm sneaky fast.

I knew you were one

of those smarty-arties.

I could tell when we

were down at the arcade.

Is that why you ditched me?

It was either that,

or my friends would have

dumped those freezies over your head.

Then I applaud your decision.

It's just some people

are strangely resistant to intelligence.

Yeah. And those clothes do not help.

What's wrong with my clothes?

Well, you got a nice grill, and all,

But you dress corny, yo.

I mean, look at them pants.

They actually fit you, man.

And the shirt! The shirt is scary.

You dress like an old man.

Can we go back to my nice grill?

What's a grill?

It's this...

Oh, yeah? So it's nice?

-Yeah. Come on, let's go play.

-Okay.

I got a little something for you.

Dragon!

So where you heading now?

Arcade.

Maybe I could meet you down there.

That's probably not a good idea.

Oh, yeah. 'cause of my

Bryant Gumbel look, huh?

I'll come by tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

[laughter]

Look at ol' Mack daddy T.J.

got a little honey up in his room.

Yeah, man, your girlfriend is real cute.

But ain't that a different look for you?

I didn't think you was into

such ghetto-fabulous girls.

She's not my girlfriend.

We're just friends--

Somebody I can hang out with.

We play video games, nothing more. Got it?

-Got it. Got it.

-Yeah.

-Okay. I like her a little.

-Mm-hmm.

But she says I dress corny.

I don't think I dress corny.

Do you think I dress corny?

-Nah

-No.

Come on, level with me.

Okay alright look, if you wanna be

flossing with a girl like Brandi,

you gotta be more 'bout it, 'bout it.

You know what I'm saying?

No! I don't know what you're saying.

That's my whole problem.

You gotta make me... 'bout it, 'bout it.

As many 'bout-its as you got.

We can do that.

Yeah, but you gotta put yourself,

completely in our hands.

You gotta trust us totally.

Clearly, this will lead

to a dark and scary place.

But I'm there.

-Cool.

-Cool.

[rap song playing]

[rap song playing]

Oh, my.

What?

Nothing.

[laughing]

[knock on door]

Yo, whassup, Brandi?

Whoa, T.J. your gear is fly, yo.

Thanks. You wanna roll up to my room

and check out some video games?

Yeah.

Or we can go down to the arcade,

and chill with my crew,

if that's cool with you.

Really? I mean, yeah, I'm down with that.

Yo, Pops! Me and Brandi are gonna

kick it at the arcade.

Alright. Just be sure

to be back by-- whoa!.

Whassup, man?

Obviously not your pants.

Where'd you get this new look?

The store, Dad, Where you get stuff.

Something wrong with that, yo?

Well, it's just that if you're gonna get

some new clothes,

you really ought to check with me first.

Whoa. He keeps you on a short leash,

doesn't he?

Nah. I do what I wanna do.

We'll talk about this later, Pops.

No. We'll talk about this now.

In the kitchen, home fry.

Come on, Pops,

what's wrong with my new gear?

Nothing, if you're pounds.

I hope you saved the receipts,

'cause it's all going back

to the "big and tall" store

you got it from.

But that's jacked up.

What'd you just say?

It means unfair,

behaving in an inequitable manner.

I know what it means.

Now go upstairs and put on

your regular clothes.

This is what kids wear.

I don't care what they're wearing, T.J.

I don't want you dressing like a thug.

You gonna go outside in these clothes,

and people take one look at you,

and they're gonna think that you're

a troublemaker.

And that's not who you are.

So, go change your clothes.

What if I don't?

Then you're not leaving the house.

Brandi's waiting for me.

Not a compelling argument.

Oh, I see.

You won't admit it,

but you just don't like Brandi.

No. I'll admit that.

I'm not wild about the effect

she's having on you.

Well, this is the new me.

You're just gonna have to get used to it.

Hmm. Well, then you're

just gonna have to get used to your room.



Word on the street is you and pops

got into it.

He just went off.

He dissed my clothes,

he dumped on my friend.

He said I can't leave my room.

Today, you are a man.

Yeah, well, Brandi probably thinks

I'm nothing but a little kid.

Well, there's not much

you can do about that.

Yes, there is,

but I'm gonna need your help.

Hey, you gotta learn to get out of those

clothes by yourself.

I'm not getting out of these clothes.

I'm getting out of this house.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Sneaking out, that would be wrong.

I just had to say that,

so legally I stay in the clear.

-The stairs or the window?

-Window.

Pillows under the blanket?

Or better yet, I can sleep in your bed.

I can use a nap.

No. 'cause Dad's gonna

want to come up here,

and he's gonna want to talk about this.

So, I'm gonna have to be here,

without being here.

Right. If you need me,

I'll be under the blankets.

I'll be here in voice only.

I just have to record the answers

to the questions I know dad will ask.

Like this.

Hey, T.J.

Yes, Dad?

We need to talk.

Dad, I'm in the bathtub.

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

Dad talks,

warm, fuzzy moments, yada yada yada.

You're right. I just need to sleep on it.

Man, that's cool,

But who's gonna turn it on?

You are, my friend.

Just put the machine in the bathroom,

and point the remote.

Don't wait up for me,

and don't lock the window.

[rap song playing]

[rap song playing]

Whassup, homies?

T.J., what you doing here?

I thought your dad had you in a lock down.

He did, but I wanted to come here,

so I snuck out.

Straight up, yo?

Straight up.

Told you my boy was down, didn't I?

Hey, listen, Teej, I was thinking--

Good lord!

Where's your brother?

-T.J.?

-Yeah.

He felt like he needed to take a bath,

So he's doing that, now.

Hey, Teej?

[tape recording] Yes, Dad?

I think we need to talk.

Dad, I'm in the bathtub.

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

Hey, listen, buddy, I know you think

I'm overreacting,

But I'm not. I'm just looking out

for your best interest,

and that's what I gotta do.

You're right, Dad.

I just need to sleep on it.

Alright, buddy.

Hey, Teej,

listen, I'm thinking about

ordering a pizza.

What do you want, sausage or pepperoni?

I just need to sleep on it.

He must have some soap in his ears.

T.J., you sneak out of the house?

Dad, I'm in the bathtub.

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

I had nothing to do with this.

Yo, T.J., we need you

over by Virtual Fighter Three.

You need help taking on

the karate robot with nunchucks?

No. We need help

taking on this little punk

that's hassling Cory.

You mean an actual fight?

Yeah. You're tough. You can take him.

No. My clothes are tough.

The skin inside them punctures easily.

What you wanna do? Huh? What you wanna do?

Give me a reason. Just give me a reason.

What are they fighting about?

This guy said all the room

around navy combat is his,

and said that we were crowding it.

Well, he's just being idiotic.

So you want a piece of me now, too?

Me? I don't even know you.

You wanna get to know me?

Not when you're in this kind of mood.

Then you shouldn't have

joined with that crew.

I'm not even with them. I signed nothing.

Sure look like you with them.

These old things? Hand-me-downs.

Listen, guys, why can't you just

discuss your problems like adults?

Here's why.

Hey! Leave her alone.

Come on, guys!

This isn't gonna solve anything.

Hey, have you seen a little kid

with some big, baggy clothes?

[T.J.] This is inappropriate behavior!

I found him.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

T.J., out--

Come here T.J.

Come here T.J! Oh, you're not T.J.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

You're not gonna be glad when we get home.

Dad, they've got my sweatshirt.

You need to stop worrying

about your sweatshirt

and start worrying about your behind.

Come on.

Okay. Where's the scrape on the arm?

Why? What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna put something on it.

-Is that the stuff that stings?

-No.

Ow!

That is the stingy stuff.

Well, it's not much fun

being lied to, is it?

Hey, you were being unreasonable.

Ow!

You acted like I was some sort of criminal

all because I wore clothes you don't like.

It wasn't the clothes, T.J.

It was the attitude that came along

with them.

What attitude?

Ow!

The attitude, that told you,

that you could sneak out of the house

and go get into a fight.

I tried to stay out of the fight.

It's just this jerk said I was a part

of their crew.

I said, no, I'm not.

And he said, "well, you

sure look like you are."

And I'm making your point, aren't I?

Well, isn't it nice to have a kid

that can connect the dots by himself?

But I like Brandi.

If I can't wear the clothes,

I can't hang out with her.

T.J., if your friend is not gonna

hang out with you

because of the clothes you wear,

Then she's really not a very good friend,

is she?

Ahem.

These were lying in the hallway.

In light of recent events,

should I put them in the wash,

or shall I give them to a homeless family

to live in?

Charity. I probably won't be seeing

Brandi for a while anyway.

More like never.

Having your dad pluck you out of a fight,

and then carry you home under one arm

doesn't exactly impress

a girl like Brandi.

[knock knock]

Clearly, I'm out of touch.

Well. You got a lot of guts

coming around here.

Is it okay if I talk to him?

No. T.J. is not allowed

to have company tonight.

Hold on, Dad.

Since I probably won't be seeing outsiders

for a few days--

Weeks.

Weeks.

Can I at least say good-bye?

You have two minutes.

I brought your sweatshirt.

Keep it.

You don't want it?

No. I'm going back to my old look.

Dog sweaters?

Maybe not that far.

So, if you don't want to hang out with me,

It's fine.

It wasn't meant to be.

That's cool, yo.

Really?

Yeah. I'll hang with you.

Even at the arcade?

No.

I knew it.

No, it's not because of my friends

or anything.

It's 'cause we all got banned

for fighting.

Time's up.

Listen, I'm sorry about

what happened, Pops.

Mr. Henderson.

You should know that T.J. tried

to stop the fight

and talk reason to us.

Didn't work.

T.J.'s gonna be grounded for two weeks.

But if he wants to call you after that,

he has my permission.

-Straight up?

-Straight up.

In fact, if you can follow my rules,

You can come kick it in my crib, - .

What? I said it right.

Didn't I say it right?

I've been watching Yo! MTV rap.

Didn't I say it right?

It is a bit of a problem.

I've raised three kids.

I've never dealt with anything

like this before.

I've tried talking to him,

but I'm not getting through to him.

It's like he doesn't hear me.

He's dead to the world.

Well, you're his mother.

What do you do when you

try to wake him up?

I've tried poking him.

I've tried pinching him.

I've yelled at him. I've thrown water

on him.

I've... bacon?

Four pieces not too crispy.

Fried eggs, rye toast if you got it.

What's up, doc?

Got any grits?

[clapper] I'm never working

for this guy again.