03x02 - Achy Breaky Heart

[bunniefuu]

Okay, box out, Kamal.

You're not boxin' out.

Nicholas is open. He's open!

Alright, good sh*t, T.J.,

but you got to keep your eyes open.

You had a man under the basket.

Curtis, you're on offense.

Curtis, Curtis, Curtis! This way.

Oh, yeah. Got it, coach.

Come on, hustle, Kamal, hustle!

I am hustling.

Alright, now hustle that way.

Alright, alright.

Water break.

Kamal, I said water break, not snack time.

I have low blood sugar.

I have to eat every hour,

or I'll get sluggish.

Well, I would hate

to see you get sluggish.

So what's up, Little Penny?

What's up is we blow.

Yeah, but we have potential.

I mean, everybody's finding their role.

And our role... is we blow.

Look, we're getting there.

I mean, Nicholas is a good re-bounder,

and he's bouncing the ball better.

He's just surprised when it comes back up.

And we gotta get Kamal

to keep people out of the lane

with that wide nougat-filled body.

And Joey's got a great jump sh*t.

From one spot on the court.

Well, that's why

I have him standing there.

And Curtis, well, he may be confused,

but for a -year-old,

he is freakishly tall.

And you, you're our

number-one point guard.

Well, can't argue with you there.

You just gotta learn to pass the ball

a little bit more, okay?

Alright. Okay, let's go, you guys.

Come on, let's hustle.

Hey, look, you guys are the best.

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

How's the team looking, Pop?

We blow.

That's too bad.

Well, uh, here are the new uniforms.

They fixed the name.

Ahh, wizards. Well, that's better.

I mean, it's bad enough losing,

but losing as "the gizzards"...

Anything else you want?

Yeah. I'd like you two

to volunteer as assistant coaches.

We'd love to, Pop, but we got so many

other things going on.

Ain't that right, Mo?

Nah. I just don't wanna.

Sorry, Dad. Good luck.

Well, man, he can turn me down. You can't.

Thanks for volunteering.

Well, that's what you get

for having a father who's involved.

Heh heh.

Excuse me. Is practice over?

Huh?

I'm here to pick up my son, Kamal.

Oh, yeah, Kamal. He's about years old.

Black?

He's a... good ball player.

That's nice of you to say.

I know he needs a lot of work,

but being a single mom,

it's tough to get him the help he needs.

That's why I'm here.

I'm Mo, assistant coach.

Bernadette.

Now, how come I haven't

seen you around here before?

I'd certainly remember that.

I've been scouting

third graders for prospects.

Well, we need more men like you

giving back to the community.

Well, that's me. I'm a giver.

I'm sure you are.

I look forward to seeing

a lot more of you.

Back at ya.

Hey, guys, keep moving. Let's get--

Mr. Henderson, is that

assistant coaching job still open?

Sure, if you want it.

Oh, yeah. I want it.

We'll talk money later.

-There is no money.

-Well, at least we talked about it.

♪ Every day's another lesson ♪

♪ And my head's in a whirl ♪

♪ If I make a wrong decision ♪

♪ It's not the end of the world ♪

♪ I will reach my destination ♪

♪ Make mistakes from a to z ♪

♪ With each mistake there's a new lesson ♪

♪ I can be anything you want to be ♪

-♪ Never experiencing a dumb phase ♪

-Smart guy ♪

♪ He's ahead of the game at a young age ♪

♪ The intelligence of a grown man ♪

♪ Trapped inside of a young brain ♪

♪ He's a bit on the short side ♪

♪ But stands tall when you show the ball ♪

♪ That's why I'm hanging

With the smart guy ♪

♪ AKA Mr. know-it-all ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Hey, T.J.

Oh, hey, Brandy.

What's up?

Ooh, nice sh*t.

Still got that rim at eight feet?

I don't need an eight-foot rim.

I got more game than Nintendo.

Want some Gummi Worms?

Yeah.

I saved the red ones for ya.

Thanks.

So, you want to go to the arcade,

or does your old man

got you in a lockdown?



Oh, sorry, I can't.

We lost four games in a row,

and I have to practice as much as I can.

How about a little one-on-one then?

You sure you want some of this?

I'll try.

Face, baby.

Big deal. It's only an eight-foot rim.

Ooh, that's gonna be

on Sports Center tonight!

Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

You know, I might be able

to find a spot for you

on my basketball team.

Sorry. I don't think so.

It'll be fun.

You can hang out with kids

who haven't been fingerprinted.

It'll be new for you.

Ah, sorry. I don't go for

all that rah-rah stuff, okay?

Besides, if anybody patted me on the butt,

it'd be all over for them.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Yvette plays team sports,

and she loves it.

Now, why would I want to be

like Black Barbie over there?

I got your Black Barbie, little girl.

She meant that in a positive way.

Barbie's an icon.

Tell her she should be

on my basketball team.

I've got better things to do with my time.

Like what? Hangin' out

with other at-risk kids

with nothing productive

to occupy your time

till one day they talk you

into boostin' a Range Rover

and knockin' over a check-cashing joint?

You are so wrong.

I boost a Lexus. That's a sweet ride.

Brandy, listen to me. Give it a chance.

Team sports are good for everybody,

especially girls,

Because it forces men

to confront us as equals,

empowers us personally,

and teaches us to embrace

the concept of sisterhood.

Yeah, yeah--

It'll also improve your confidence

and give you the opportunity

to develop your full potential

as an athlete, a student--

Okay, okay!

Dang. I'll check it out.

Good, because you won't be sorry.

Figured if I switched her on,

she wouldn't stop talking

till she broke you down.

Dang, that girl can talk.

Yeah, I know.

We have to cover her cage at night

so she can go to sleep.

I'm tellin' you, man.

Kamal's mama wants me.

Man, please.

That woman is -somethin' years old, man.

She's divorced, and she's got a kid.

She's looking for a grown man.

Somebody with a job,

with a dental plan and stuff.

See, now, that's where you're wrong.

See, I was reading in Essence Magazine ,

that older women now-a-days

want to feel young and have a good time.

And % of all women over the age of

said they'd date a younger man.

What are you doin'

reading Essence Magazine?

Stay with me on this.

I said %!

That means if they put us in a room

with ten women over ,

six of them would want us.

That's three for you and three for me.

Oh, yeah?

Well, call me when my three get here.

Huh. Here comes one of my three right now.

-Hi, Marcus.

-Hey.

Mo, can I talk to you?

Kamal's pretty nervous

about tomorrow's game.

Could you talk to him?

Man, you know I'd do anything for you.

Uh, and Kamal.

You are something else.

You notice it, too?

Kamal.

Kamal.

May I?

What?

[whistling]

Kamal, honey, Curtis' mom is gonna

take you home today, okay?

Thanks.

No, thank you.

Well, I better be going.

I don't want to be a distraction.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Hey there, dog. She blew your whistle.

Yeah, she didn't even wipe it off first,

so it's like we already kissed.

Man, this is the best thing

that ever happened to me,

and it didn't even happen to me.

So, why don't you want to tell me

who this ringer is?

Because I want you to have an open mind.

Now, why wouldn't I have

an open mind, T.J.?

Hey, yo, T.J.!

Brandy?

No. You ain't letting

little Latrell Sprewell play on this team.

Just watch her play.

What's up, T.J.?

Hey, Pops.

Mr. Henderson.

My dad's really excited

about seeing you play.

Unh, alright. Let's get this over with.

This is the player that's supposed

to save our team?

She's a girl. She can't play with us.

Guys, there's nothing

in the rules against it. I checked.

Give me back our ball.

Yeah, and if she joins the team,

where are we supposed to shower?

At home, Nicholas, like we always do.

Well, I don't want her on my team.

Good. 'cause I don't wanna play

with you either.

Later, T.J.

Uh, Brandy, Brandy.

Wait just a second here. [chuckles]

Was that lucky?

Yeah, she's lucky...

About % of the time.

Curtis, give her your new jersey,

you're gonna be a gizzard

for another week.

Come on, man. Come on, come on.

Come on, T.J., hit the open man.

T.J. You got four other guys on the team.

Let's get 'em involved. Come on!

They're wearing the same uniform as you.

That's how you can tell.

Okay, now. That's it! That's it!

[team] Ohh. Ohh.

Get over here, Teej.

Brandy, in for T.J.

I was fouled!

Well, you wouldn't have been fouled

If you'd passed the ball to the open man.

You gotta stop hoggin' the ball, son.

Dad, the last time I passed it

to Nicholas, he dropped it.

Come on, hit the open man!

Sweet pass!

sh**t!

Yeah!

Sweet pass! Sweet pass!

Nicholas didn't drop it this time, did he?

Red ! Red !

Go on, girl. Go on, girl.

[Floyd] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Alright. Good sh*t, Joey.

Hey, somebody pat Joey on the butt for me.

Coaches can't do that anymore.

So, uh, what you waitin' on, man?

When you gonna ask her out?

I'm waiting for the right time.

Older women don't like you to rush.

Man, you gotta read Essence .

Mo, Kamal could really use

some extra help.

Do you think you could

come by the house sometime,

maybe for a little one-on-one?

Yes, he could.

Um, how about Thursday?

I'm coaching in the morning,

but I could come by in the afternoon.

Perfect. See you then.

Alright.

And now our patented happy dance.

Hit it.

♪ Ooh, ahh, um-whaa ♪

[Floyd] That's it! Move the ball around!

Good pass!

Oh, great way to go! Yeah.

Defense, hands up. You see that? Hands up.

Hands up. Hands up.

[Floyd] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like it. I like it a lot!

I like it. I like it a lot.

I like it, girl. Go on.

Go on, show 'em something.

Alright, Teej, alright, alright.

Pass it off, hit Nicholas,

Nicholas is open.

Turn! Turn, look, you got--

Aww!

Alright.

Get back on defense. Hustle back.

You got it? Got it? Time out! Time out!

Alright, everybody get in here.

Alright. We've got time for one sh*t,

and we can actually win our first game.

Now, Joey, I need you

to go to the top of the key.

Brandy, you're gonna handle the ball.

I want you to drive the lane.

Now, if you've got the sh*t, you take it.

But if not, I want you

to kick that ball back to Joey,

so he can hit from his spot.

Now, our big men, you guys have

gotta be there

just in case they miss to tip it in, okay?

What about me, Dad?

Look, I'm gonna need you to not be

in on this one, son.

Okay, everybody, let's get in here.

One, two, three...

-Wizards!

-Wizards!

Okay, let's win one!

Please, Lord, let us win one!

Dad, I really think I should be in there.

I know you do, son,

but I don't think you're in sync

with the rest of the players tonight.

[Henderson] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

[everyone] Yeah!

Whoo! Ha ha!

Did you see that pass? That was sweet!

Yeah, she got game, baby.

Better watch your behind, buddy.

Otherwise somebody gonna

be taking your spot.

Hey, Brandy!

[players laughing]

Hey, you gonna work

on some new moves, champ?

Got to. The coach keeps sitting me down.

You understand about the game

the other night, right?

Yeah, Brandy had the hot hand.

And I also know that

you're very sorry you benched me

and it won't happen again.

So, I forgive you.

Sit down, Teej.

Aw, crud.

Look, Brandy not only had a hot hand,

she made the whole team play better,

and that's what we needed.

So, I'm gonna give her a sh*t

as starting point guard.

What?

You can't do that. That's my position!

Well, maybe it'll be your position again

when you stop hot-dogging.

I was just trying to win.

Well, now you're gonna have to help us win

by being the sixth man off the bench.

Now, that's an important position, too.

Dad, there is no important position with

the word "bench" in it.

Well, that's the way it's gonna be, son.

Then I want to be traded.

I want to play for Johnny's dad.

He likes me.

I like you, too.

That's why I'm doing this.

What's up, T.J.?

Nothing.

Want me to rebound for you?

Nope.

Got some Gummi Worms. You want some?

Mm-mmm.

I saved all the red ones for you.

I said I didn't want any.

Oh, and by the way,

you'll be pleased to know

you're the new starting point guard.

Alright!

So you moving to sh**ting guard?

I'm moving to sitting guard.

Oh. Oh, so you'll be

first man off the bench.

That's cool, too.

You know, Kobe Bryant

won sixth man of the year.

Yeah, you know, Kobe and I

are gonna have

a big cake later to celebrate.

Why are you so mad at me?

I was just doin' what your dad

told me to do.

Is it my fault that I'm better than you?

You're not better than me.

You wouldn't even be on the team

if I hadn't got you on it.

And you turn around and steal my position.

Thanks a lot.

[knock on door]

Hello there.

Mo!

Yeah, today's our day, right?

I mean, Kamal's day?

Goodness, I forgot you were coming by.

And here I told Kamal

he could go over

to his friend's house for the afternoon.

What was I thinking?

I'm sure you had other

things on your mind. I know I do.

Well, please, come inside.

Let me get you something to drink.

It's the least I could do.

So... Kamal's at a friend's house?

I hope you're not too mad at me.

I didn't mean to make you

come all the way over here for nothing.

It's okay, I'm sure we can

find something to do.

Here you go.

Oh, I'm sorry about the heat.

My air conditioner seems to be broken.

Ooh.

You know, actually,

I'm sort of glad that Kamal's

not here right now.

Is that right?

Yeah, I need to talk

to you about something,

and, quite frankly, it's hard for me.

Take your time.

It's just that I don't want

to put you on the spot.

Where do you want to put me?

Kamal's father has been gone

for a long time,

and I--

It's okay, we don't need words.

Mo, what are you doing?

Boy, it has been a long time, huh?

Wh-what are you talking about?

What could you possibly be thinking?

I thought you wanted me to kiss you.

No.

I just wanted to know if you thought Kamal

had a real future in basketball,

or should he switch to soccer.

I--I thought that you--

I mean, I thought we--

Definitely soccer, yeah.

I'm sorry you got the wrong i-idea.

There's been a big misunderstanding.

Maybe you should just--

Yeah.

Heh heh.

Yeah.

Alright.

Let's show 'em whose court this is.

One, two, three...

Wizards!

Good job, guys. Come on.

Look at her.

Sitting over there like nothing happened.

Man, she can't do that to us.

Nothing I can do about it.

I just gotta move on.

No, you don't.

I mean, she was the one

smiling all up in your face,

inviting you to her house.

Then when you get over there,

she's talkin' about

you got your signals crossed.

You got to check the woman on that, man.

I mean, that's what Pacey

did on Dawson's Creek.

Yeah, once he told that woman off,

she melted right in his arms.

You know, you make a lot of sense.

Thanks, bro.

Alright, come on, let's go, you guys.

Play some defense now. We can do this.

[whistle blows]

Oh, no. Brandy's hurt.

How is it, honey?

Is it tender? Can you play?

It hurts really bad, Mr. Henderson.

I could barely walk on it.

Alright. Gotta get

the pressure off of it.

Marcus, we need a bag of ice.

T.J., you're in for Brandy.

Alright!

I mean, I'm ready.

-Okay, and remember, son, team ball.

-Okay.

Take it to 'em, T.J.!

Hey, yo, pretty boy.

Can I get some ice over here?

[Henderson] Yeah. Yeah!

Good pass, baby.

One more basket! One more!

Yeah!

[Henderson] Hey, okay! Alright!

Great game, coach.

Thanks.

I hope there are no hard feelings

about the other night.

No, it's cool, now that I know

what you're all about.

-What?

-You know what I'm talking about.

You're a -year-old single woman

who's insecure about whether or not

she's still desirable to men.

So, you thought you'd prove it by seducing

a -year-old boy on the verge of manhood.

-No--

-Now, don't pretend

like that's not what's going on here.

You want me. You know it, and I know it.

So, if you're ready to go for it, fine.

But if not, that's cool, too.

'Cause Morris L. Tibbs does not have time

for these little mind games.

You Verla Mae Tibbs' boy, aren't you?

Huh?

Boy, your mama is in my bible study group,

you wait till I tell her

what you just said.

Let's keep my mama out of this.

We don't want to get

her blood pressure worked all up.

Mm-hmm. Now, on second thought,

why don't we go find her together?

That way you can tell her yourself.

No, I was just playin'.

Don't tell my mama. I was just kidding.

I take it all back!

Hey, good game, man.

-Bye, guys.

-Good game.

Good game, T.J.

Yeah, thanks.

So, how's your ankle?

Pretty bad. I don't think

I'll be able to play on it for a while.

Oh, no. Kids like you,

you bounce back real fast.

But last time I messed up my ankle,

I was down for months.

Ohh.

You're gonna be okay.

I mean, you still have T.J.

You're right.

T.J., you're starting point guard again.

Look, I'm gonna get the car

and pull it around,

and then I'll come in and get you.

Okay.

Oh, it must really hurt, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Must hurt so bad

you can't even think straight.

What do you mean?

Well, now you're limping

on your right ankle.

Before you were limping on your left.

No, I wasn't.

Yes, you were. I have

a photographic memory. I can see it.

See, you came off limping with Nicholas

on the left side,

and Kamal was on the right,

and behind you there was

a lady in a red hat, and she was--

Okay, okay.

What difference does it make?

You're starting guard again.

You should be happy.

Wait a minute. I thought

you liked being on this team.

I do. I like it a lot.

Grubbin' with the fellas and all.

Comin' to the gym for practices.

But then you started being all shady

because I got your spot.

So, I was, like,

hey, forget it. It's not worth it.

Wait. You're quitting

so I can be point guard?

It's better than you hating me.

Oh, wait a minute. That's crazy.

I can't let you do that.

There's just

no making you happy, is there?

I don't hate you.

If anything, you should hate me.

My dad put me on the bench

'cause I was being a ball hog,

and I was kind of taking it out on...

Me?

Yeah. Sorry.

It's alright.

But this team needs you,

and you need this team.

Come on, Brandy, you know I'm right.

But you know if I come back on this team,

you're back on the bench.

Yeah, sure. If that's what it takes.

But you know it's only a matter of time

till I win my position back.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

Oh, sooner than you think.

First one to ten?

Got some money?

Oh, well, I got some red Gummi Worms.

You're on.

Let's go.

Hey, Brandy, I found this in the office.

I thought maybe I could--

Thank you, lord.

Excuse me, coach, Kamal's having

an awful hard time

learning all these plays.

You think you could spend a little

extra time with him?

Yeah, I'd be happy to.

Great.

You could come over

to the house if you want.

She's throwing out the bait.

And there's nothing

at the end of the line.

After I work with him for a while,

then maybe you and I can go out and get

a bite to eat.

Ooh, I'd like that.

Maybe after that you could

come over to my place

for a glass of wine.

Dang!

Now, what does he have that I don't got?

A dental plan.

[clapper]

I'm never working for this guy again.