03x03 - Love Bug

[bunniefuu]

Hey, where have you guys been?

You're an hour and a half

late for practice.

First I've heard of it.

I didn't even know we had practice.

You should. You called it.

He got you there.

I remember when you said it.

You said Saturday at :.

That's exactly what you said.

And what's your excuse?

He was my ride.

So where's Goose?

He's not here!

Nobody in this band

has any sense of responsibility.

Guys, if we don't practice,

We're never going to get a gig.

Hey, man, don't even worry about that.

We already got something lined up.

Tell him about that guy.

What guy?

The guy with the place.

You wrote his number down, right?

Oh, no need to. I got it stored up here.

It's, uh... let's see, the number is...

something, something, something,

something, three, three, something.

Hey, guys, your drummer just called.

He's quitting the band.

-What?

-Well, What do you mean

Goose is quitting the band?

His mom said his grades were slipping.

Man, how can his grades slip?

What's he getting, G's?

I guess he was spending too much

time with the band.

He was never here. That makes no sense.

Yeah, what's the matter with you?

I don't know. I answered the phone.

I'm sick. I need help!

Great. We got no drummer, we got no gig.

As long as you're in charge,

this band is going nowhere.

Oh, you can do better?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure I can remember

a whole phone number.

Okay, well, look, if you can find us

a new drummer,

you can be the manager for this band.

Yeah, but he's gotta have the right moves

and right style.

Now we're warning you here and now,

we are not easy to please.

Hi, I'm Stacey.

I'm here for the drummer auditions.

-Great, you're in!

-I second that.

Boy, you are a good manager.

-♪ I know you're doing your thing

-Yeah ♪

♪ Go 'head, smart guy ♪

-♪ Diggin' it baby, yeah

-Yeah go 'head, smart guy ♪

-♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh

-Yeah. Come on ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[Mo] Oh!

[Mo] Yeah!

-Oh! Yeah!

-Whoo!

Stacey, welcome to Mackadocious.

You're our new drummer.

Okay, hold on. I'm not joining a band that

just plays in a garage,

so do you guys have any gigs lined up?

Do we have any gigs lined up?

Do we have any gigs lined up?

Well, I played our tape for Art Bruno

of Art Bruno's Sugar Shack.

He says if we get a new drummer,

he'll give us a Friday night.

Okay, then, you guys

have yourselves a drummer.

-Alright.

-Great.

Hi there, I'm Mo.

I'm one of the founding

members of the band,

I co-write a lot of the songs,

produce our studio work, and I play bass.

Excuse me.

Hi, I'm Marcus.

You're the lead singer, aren't you?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Well, you know, seen you around school.

Did a little checking.

Oh. Yeah, I seen you around

my way a couple of times.

But you go with that dude, don't you?

Yeah, but that's over.

Oh, so sad.

Could I offer you a Peach Snapple?

I like peaches.

Huh. I bet he won't be late

for practice anymore. You okay?

Hmm? Uh, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm cool.

You know, any girl that goes for

the lead singer,

that's just shallow.

Okay, the right hand leads

and then the left one follows the rhythm.

Okay, now, which hand leads?

Is it this one?

Or is it this one?

'Cause I like this one.

When you run out of hands,

can we do some work here?

Gotta go set up this mix board.

I'll be right back, sweet thing.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you, too.

I'll miss you three.

I'll miss you four.

Luckily, he can only count up to six.

I'm gonna go get myself

something to drink.

Suddenly got a bad taste in my mouth.

Hey, Mo.

[mutters]

So, T.J., look,

I'll be back in about an hour

and is that your new drummer?

Yep. I found her,

and Marcus likes her a lot.

So, how does Mo feel about that?

Why?

Well, one girl, one guy, happiness.

One girl, two guys,

anger, warfare, court T.V.

Dad, I have this under control.

Mo said he was fine with it.

Said he couldn't be happier.

Seeing Marcus and Stacey

puts the tragedy of my whole life

into perspective.

I mean, he has a serious relationship

and I have nothing.

I mean, maybe my dad's right.

I don't focus. I don't plan.

I don't take anything in life seriously,

so I never have anything.

Uh, when I said, "How you doing?",

I was just saying "Hi".

Oh, good, T.J., listen,

Mo seems to be having

a bit of a life crisis and I have to, uh--

What's happening

with my favorite bass player?

Oh, nothing.

It's just that when I see those two,

I think Marcus has somebody

and I have nobody.

You got a manager.

And your manager's gonna take care of you.

And you know why?

'cause he loves you.

Who loves you?

My manager?

That's right.

And your manager says,

"Get yourself a girl".

Well, not just any girl.

I want a serious relationship.

Because you're a serious guy.

And an accomplished musician.

And girls are impressed with that.

There's your hook right there.

Yeah, that could work.

Yeah, good. You feeling better?

-Yeah.

-Great.

Now give me a hug.

What?

Come on.

Give your manager a hug.

You see, I think one of the things

we've been missing

is a distinctive logo.

Which one do you like better?

I like the one where the letters

"Mackadocious",

Form the silhouette of a woman.

That's the one I like, too.

Girl, we are so like this.

Hey, guys.

There's somebody I want you to meet.

Shakira, this is the band.

Everybody, this is Shakira.

-Hi.

-What's up?

She says "Hi".

We met at the record store

a couple days ago.

She was buying a rain stick

and some whale music.

See, I told you the record store

was a good place to meet girls.

I love my manager.

Oh, Shakira wants to sit

in on the practice. Is that okay?

Yeah, sure. Just tell her to keep it down.

Okay, everybody, let's get to work.

You wanna see my bass?

Hey, Mo, Mo.

Check out the new logo for the band.

That's flavor, right?

It's slammin'.

But it's a little sexist.

We think that the logo should

be of an ocean bird

flying against the setting g*n--

Sun, no g*ns. Give peace a chance.

Are you hearing this?

Isn't she wonderful?

She's got a lot of ideas for the band.

Like... we sing too many love ballads.

Where are our issue songs?

Brother, we ain't got any issues.

We're happy.

Shakira suggests that

no one is truly happy.

Oh, well, Stacey suggests

that Shakira's tripping.

You know?

We really didn't ask you Sheila E.,

check your girl.

At least my girl can talk.

She talks too much.

Okay, everybody. Nice rehearsal.

Everybody take five.

And when we come back,

maybe we could actually play something.

So the solution

to having one girl in the band

is having two girls in the band?

Mo was so lonely and depressed.

The solution to that

was to get him a girl.

Unfortunately, he picked an annoying one

who won't stop making stupid suggestions.

Well, maybe she's just trying

to contribute to the band.

Problem is her contributions

kind of stink.

She doesn't say a word,

but she won't shut up.

Okay.

So as a manager,

I have to find a way for her to contribute

that seems important,

but is completely meaningless.

Shakira, this is an Afuchi.

Afuchi?

Yeah. You see, most of your R&B bands

don't have Afuchi players.

People will say,

"have you heard Mackadocious?

They have a slammin' Afuchiist."

[afuchi music]

Wow, you've had lessons.

No way that was your first time.

[afuchi music]

I am blown away.

She likes it. So, is Marcus okay

with her being in the band?

Are you kidding? It was Marcus' idea.

I'm gonna go tell him you like it.

Was it Marcus' idea?

Not yet.

Oh, good, there you are!

I was thinking about our Shakira problem.

Ehh.

My sentiments exactly.

See, I just

don't know what to do about it,

but, hey, light bulb!

What if we put Shakira in the band

and give her a stupid instrument?

Great. Whatever.

Okay. Wait.

That was way too easy.

What's wrong with you?

Stacey broke up with me at lunch today.

Yeah, her old boyfriend came back.

I guess I was just

kind of a rebound thing.

Oh. Are you going to be okay

with her still being in the band?

Yeah. Be cool. I'm a man.

I'm a professional. I'm gonna be alright.

One, two, three, four...

I can't do this.

Shakira says she sings.

[television] I don't understand

why it can't be like it was.

Because I've changed, you've changed!

Oh.

That's light. It's good for you.

Look, we've got a gig on Friday

And I've let you stew in your own

juices long enough.

She is just a girl. Get over it!

She wasn't just a girl.

She was Stacey.

That's the cup she drank out of.

That's her lip print.

This is pathetic.

Would you please talk to him?

Why me?

Because you're a teenager.

Plus you get dumped a lot. What helps?

Sensitivity.

Excuse me. Marcus...

If you wanna get better,

you gotta take small steps.

Get up. Walk around.

Take a shower. A nice, long shower.

And then get on with your life.

You are better than this.

Know something...

You're right. You're right!

Yeah, yeah, I gotta

shake this love jones off.

Yeah, I just can't let some gorgeous,

drum-playing,

only comes along once in your life,

perfect, heaven-sent,

Nubian princess...

Somebody just turn out the lights

and put on some Sade.

Almost had him.

What do we do now, kick him?

Kicking him won't make him feel better.

It would make me feel better.

He's gonna be like this

until the grief passes

Or until the next pretty girl comes along.

How pretty does she have to be?

Jasmine, what's happening?

You are looking good.

Thanks. What's up?

Oh, I was just wondering...

You, uh, seeing anybody these days?

Look, T.J., I like you,

but not in that way.

Call me in a couple of years.

No, it's for my bro--

really, couple of years?

It's a date.

Yo, T.J., we have got to cancel the gig.

-What?

-No, it's serious.

Shakira dropped by Art Bruno's

Sugar Shack today.

She said the Feng Shui is all wrong.

The Feng Shui?

We can't perform there because

the alignment of the furniture

doesn't conform with ancient

Chinese principles?

I'm glad you know what it is

'cause when she told me the Sugar Shack

had bad Feng Shui,

I told her to get the Chow Mein instead.

Mo, you can't tell me stuff like this

two days before the show.

I'm sorry, but we feel

strongly about this.

Okay, okay, what if I ask the club

If I can rearrange their furniture

to improve the harmony of the room?

Trust me, you guys,

I'm a Feng Shui master.

I do this all the time.

Keisha!

What kind of qualities are you looking for

in a boyfriend?

Taller.

Not me. My brother Marcus.

He's available. I even made a brochure.

Check him out.

That was him as a baby.

Oh, he's adorable.

You should see him now.

Hi.

He does not look like this

in the brochure.

Just give me five minutes.

I'll hose him off.

Look, I know that I'm not all that,

but I am definitely more than this.

You are not helping.

Here you go, Marcus.

This will fix you right up.

Forget it, Dad.

I brought a perfectly lovely girl in here

and he barely moved.

I don't think you're going to get

a rise out of him for soup.

Soup? I like soup.

Snap out of it! You're making me sick.

You're acting like a punk!

Son, he's having a tough time there.

He's a lump!

Nobody's gonna pay to see a lump.

Come here.

If Stacey's making him into a lump,

why don't you ask her to leave the band?

We have a gig in two days.

I don't have time to find another drummer.

Now why is everything up to you?

Because they made me manager.

Besides, the band is full

of crazy teenagers

and I'm the only rational,

clear-headed person in sight.

So, are you gonna help me

get him off off this chair

or just bring him soup?

I like soup.

Look, son, he's really hurting right now.

So he's just gonna have to sit

and wallow in this chair.

Because his girlfriend left him

and she's not coming back.

Why would I get back together with Marcus?

I just broke up with him.

Pretend get back with him.

Pretend was the operative word.

It's only for hours.

Just till we get through the gig.

But I don't wanna hurt Marcus.

Who does?

But if we don't get him off that couch,

we're never going to get

discovered Friday night.

And once again, you're going

to be in the band

that only plays in a garage.

Well, if it's for the good of the band.

You have a big heart.

Excuse me. Need to move your table.

Better Feng Shui.

See, right away. More harmonious!

Yeah.

Girl, I'm so glad

you came back into my life.

I missed you so much.

I-- I missed you, too.

I missed you three.

I gotta go tighten my cymbal.

Oh, alright, that's cool.

When you get through,

I'm gonna be right here.

Hey, how's it going, champ?

Oh, cool, man.

Yeah, that girl finally wised up.

Who could resist you?

You know.

What she doing talking

to Rico Suave over there?

Don't get jealous.

You just got back together.

This is your happy phase.

Uh, excuse me, pretty boy.

Yeah, how you doing?

Listen, me and my girlfriend Stacey

gotta finish setting up her equipment.

She's not your girlfriend.

I think she is.

Stacey, tell them I'm your boyfriend.

You invited your boyfriend?

No. He showed up to surprise me.

Oh, I thought it was over with him.

You just got back with me yesterday.

Look, tell me something now, girl.

I feel like I'm on Jerry Springer here.

T.J. Made me do it.

He said I should pretend

to get back together with you

so you stop moping around

and get through the gig.

You did that?

It was strictly business.

Never personal. I always liked you.

Oh, come on, Marcus.

You put me in charge.

I had to make an executive decision.

Maybe not the best one.

Listen, manager boy, Shakira wants a solo

in the middle of "Love Always".

What? We ain't got no room for no solo.

Can't you just put in another?

No, I can't! When do these demands stop?

When? When?

Is this how you kids warm up?

'cause you're on in two minutes.

Could we have, say, five minutes?

Two minutes.

But we're having some

interpersonal band problems.

Oh. Two minutes or you don't go on.

Then we're not going on.

I got a crybaby singer,

and a Fly Betty drummer,

and a bass player

who's in love with a kook. I give up!

Fine. Pack up your gear. Get off my stage.

Jimmy, pop in that

Captain and Tennille tape.

Hold on, hold on!

You can't do that to us. We're here, okay?

Just give us an introduction.

We're gonna be fine.

I'm so pleased.

Alright, now look,

we're gonna get up on this stage, okay?

And we're going

to open up with "Love Always".

Stacey, count us in.

Mo, don't forget the middle part.

Shakira, no solo.

Oh, girl, be quiet.

[Bruno] And now, ladies and gentlemen,

this is macka-- macka--

Oh, another kid band.

♪ I wish I could take back ♪

♪ Every tear that made you cry ♪

♪ I wish I could take you in my arms ♪

♪ And make things right ♪

♪ I walked here in the rain ♪

♪ To leave this letter in your door ♪

♪ To tell you that no matter what ♪

♪ I never loved you more ♪

♪ Love always ♪

♪ Baby, you know I'm still, oh, no ♪

♪ Love always ♪

♪ Never realized that

This rhythm was so strong ♪

♪ Love always ♪

♪ Never knew how much you miss one ♪

♪ Miss someone until they're gone, yeah ♪

♪ From the bottom of my heart, baby ♪

♪ Alright, alright, y'all, y'all ♪

♪ Shoo day do day do day do day do doo ♪

♪ Can't you see, baby ♪

♪ Love you always, baby ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ Always ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Alright ♪

[crowd cheers]

You know, you were great.

I mean it. You really surprised me.

I was afraid when you found out about,

you know, how I...

Played me like a sucker?

Yeah. I thought you'd walk

right out of here

and go back to your soup and Sade.

But you didn't. You came through.

Well, you should have

had more faith in me.

Mm-hmm.

I only did it for the band.

It was still an evil thing to do.

I think I already copped to that.

It's just, you're so unpredictable.

You're either hysterically happy

or wildly depressed.

Am I going to be like that when I'm ?

If I let you live that long.

Did I mention how sorry I was

and I did it for the band?

Yeah, you did it for the band at

the expense of me.

Mm-hmm.

I guess I kind of missed

the emotional component.

Yes, you did.

From now on, I'll try to be more sensitive

to the erratic mood swings

which the hormonal surges of puberty

induce in the adolescent psyche.

That's all I'm asking.

You guys are okay.

You want to play here again?

Actually, you should talk to my brother.

He's the manager now.

And he's more in touch

where the band is emotionally.

Okay, Oprah, what do you say?

Well, here's the thing.

We wanna play here,

but this band has gone through a lot.

Yeah, some angry words have been said.

Some feelings have been hurt,

I just think now we need the time

to sit down, talk, start the healing.

I got an opening tomorrow night.

We'll be there.

[singing Jamaican song]

Ah, ahem, please, continue.

Oh, I wasn't out here for this.

I'm, uh, looking for my skill saw.

Uh-huh.

Go in the house and cut

the kitchen table in half.

[clapper]

I'm never working for this guy again.