02x05 - Taxes

[bunniefuu]

[all] Ta-da!

[eyebrows squeak]

[hydraulics whirring]

-[beeping]
-[rock music plays]

-♪ Answer Time, Answer Time ♪
-♪ Answer Time! Answer Time! ♪

-♪ It's StoryBots: Answer Time ♪
-♪ Answer Time! ♪[/i]

♪ They live in your computer
And they got a job to do ♪

♪ They're all about learning
They make it fun too ♪

♪ When you have a question
They answer it for you ♪

♪ It's StoryBots: Answer Time ♪

♪ Answer Time! ♪

[clock ticking]

[beeps and rings]

-[all speaking]
-Hey, what's shaking?

Answer Department. Bing here.

Hi, Bing.
How many teeth do alligators have?

Ooh, let's find out.

[alligator growls]

-One, two, three, four-- [screams]
-[alligator growls]

[laughing]

[Bing] Uh…

There's about teeth in here.

Hello, Bo. Why do people have eyebrows?

Oh. Eyebrows help prevent liquid and dirt
from getting into your eyes.

They also help you convey
how you feel to others.

Like this?

[growls]

-[screams]
-[laughs]

[laughs nervously]

I could tell you were making
an angry face.

Yeah.

It was scary.

-[chewing] Mmm.
-[barking]

-What is it, boy?
-[barking]

-Hap is in trouble?
-[barking]

-He's stuck in a well?
-[barking]

-Show me where he is!
-No, no, no!

I just wanted some of your burrito.

For crying out loud,
what's a pooch gotta do to get a treat?

And why does everyone think
people get stuck in wells?

Where are all these wells coming from?

Whoa. That was strange.

[alarm beeping]

Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

StoryBots, hi.
I'm so glad I got through to you.

-[all greeting]
-[Bo] Hello! Hi, Mrs. Firefighter.

How's it going?

Ugh.

Not too good, StoryBots.

Oh no, what's wrong?

Yeah. I don't see any fires.

Oh, no, it wasn't a fire.

I got called to get a cat out of a tree,

so I brought my big net, and when I--

[feline roaring]

Whoa! Was that a lion?

You got that right, Bing.

Turns out my big net
is not gonna be big enough.

Well, why don't you just buy
a bigger net, Mrs. Firefighter?

Well, I tried to, Bo.

When I went to the net store
to buy the super, giant, jumbo, big net,

the price tag said $.

Well, that seems reasonable enough
for a great big net.

Oh, I agree.

But when I took it to the cashier
to pay for it, they asked me for $..

Whoa, really?

Where did the extra $. come from?

Oh, yeah. That's what I said.

But the cashier said
it had something to do with "taxes"?

"Taxes"?

What are "taxes," man?

I have no idea, Bang.
That's why I'm calling to ask you.

[lion roaring]

Ah! I think the kitty is getting restless.

Oh, yeah. I need that new net fast,

but I'm not gonna pay an extra $.
when I don't know what it's for.

So taxes…

Where can we find out about taxes?

Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Oh! I think you're right, Boop.

Taxes do have something to do
with the government.

Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Oh, Boop.

If you could find out what taxes are,
that'd be really helpful.

[lion roaring]

And if you could do that quickly, that…
That… That would be great.

Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

[whirring and suctioning]

-♪ Answer Time! ♪
-[whirring][/i]

Hi, StoryBots.
What's in the news these days?

[whirring]

[reporter] You're watching [/i]StoryBots News
on channel and /, WBOT,[/i]

with your hosts
Story Storyberg and Bot Botson.

-[breaking news music plays, then ends]
-Today's top story…

A grizzly bear's jaws are strong enough
to crush a bowling ball.

Whoa, no, no, no. Uh-uh.
I ain't testing out that crazy fact.

Forget it. Do you know
how much a bear dentist costs these days?

You bite it if you wanna test it out.
I'm outta here. Gonna go eat berries.

[whirring]

Oh, hi, StoryBots. What is erosion?

- [whirring][/i]
-[mellow music playing][/i]

[announcer]
Tired of rocks with sharp edges?[/i]

-Ow!
-[buzzing]

[announcer] Are large, heavy boulders[/i]
getting you down?[/i]

-[grunting] Whoa!
-[buzzing]

[announcer] Wish there was a way[/i]
you could shrink giant rocks[/i]

and smooth their sharp edges?

[thuds]

-Yeah, actually, that'd be great.
-[announcer] Well, now you can.[/i]

Introducing erosion!

Erosion, huh? What's that?

- [announcer] [/i]Here.
-What am I supposed to do with this?[/i]

[announcer] Just splash it on that rock.[/i]

Now, do it again
over a trillion more times!

Huh?

[announcer] Might not seem like anything's[/i]
happening, but as water flows over rocks,[/i]

it's using a surface process
known as water flow to erode its surface,

dulling their sharp corners
and slowly carving into their shape.

The only thing it needs is time,
and lots of it.

Sometimes it can take years, decades,

or even millennia
before you see any significant changes.

-[clock ticking, rings]
-Wow, that's amazing.

[announcer] But wait, there's more.[/i]

Act now and we'll throw in
a second form of erosion absolutely free!

Introducing airflow!

It flows against rocks like water
and, over time, wears them down.

-[clock ticking, rings]
-Whoa, incredible!

-[thuds]
-[announcer] It sure is.[/i]

And it can be yours,
but only if you order now.

I'm gonna go get my wallet!

[grunting]

[announcer] Erosion. Ask for it by name.[/i]

Erosion is powerful. Nothing in this ad
should be construed as endorsing Erosion.

If you start to disappear, take
two aspirin and call me in the morning.

Huh? What'd he say?

[whirring]

Hi, StoryBots. Can you tell me a fun fact?

[whirring]

[machine] Fun fact number ,,.[/i]

Did you know that a female octopus
lays about , eggs at one time?

-[baby crying]
-Put that down!

-[crashes]
-Leave her alone!

Andrew, get that off your head!
Amy, that's not food!

[screams] Kids, please!

Can't you see I've only got eight arms?

-[sobbing]
-[baby screams]

Boop!

[announcer] Next stop,[/i]
the Department of Government and Stuff.[/i]

Story Storyberg here.

Welcome back to the debate that'll help
StoryBots decide who'll be the next mayor.

My fellow StoryBots,
if you elect me as your mayor,

I hereby promise to lower your taxes.

[audience cheering and applauding]

And if you elect me as your mayor,
I promise to lower your taxes too.

[record scratch]

Even more than that guy.

-[audience cheering and applauding]
-[Boob] Boop.

[thuds]

Candidate Boop, your stance on taxes?

No taxes at all?

Boop?

-Woo-hoo!
-[audience cheering and applauding]

[shutter clicks]

[Botson] Would-be Mayor Boop[/i]
is on the campaign trail.[/i]

-[shutter clicks]
-[Botson] No taxes?[/i]

It's never been done before!

Boop's the most popular candidate
this town's ever seen.

Boop. Boop. Boop.

[Botson] Translation: "Read my lips."[/i]

Boop. Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop.

[Botson] "No taxes at all!"[/i]

[audience cheering]

Bot Botson here with the results
of tonight's historic election.

Cynthia Applebee with one vote.

Earl Perkins with zero votes.

Uh, apparently he didn't even vote
for himself.

And Boop Bunklebee with…

[beeping]

[Botson] Holy bananas!

Boop Bunklebee is our new mayor!

StoryBots everywhere are enjoying
their lives with absolutely no taxes.

[shouts] No taxes! Yeah!

I got so much money,
I don't even know what to do with it all!

[cheers]

[all chanting] Boop! Boop! Boop! Boop!

We love you, Mayor Boop!

-[door slams]
-[silence]

[ambient music playing]

[banging on door]

-[slams open]
-We strongly dislike you, Mayor Boop!

[grunts] Mayor Boop!

-Thank goodness you're here.
-Boop, Boop, Boop?

Who am I?
I'm the Secretary of the Treasury.

Boop, Boop?

The treasury.

It's the department of government
that manages all the money,

and your no-tax policy has pushed us
to the precipice of disaster.

Look!

- The tube system is an absolute mess.[/i]
-[citizens clamoring]

[screams, crashes]

I'm okay.

Boop, Boop, Boop?

Well, what happened is we had no money
from taxes to pay for repairs.

[clanging]

-[tube bursts]
-[StoryBot screams]

[Secretary] Broken tubes mean
StoryBots can't get to work…

-[grunts]
-[Secretary] …putting their jobs at risk.

That's why they are outside this door
with pitchforks.

-[citizens clamoring]
-We still strongly dislike you!

[door slams]

With all due respect, Mayor Boop,

your tax policy
is destroying vital services.

If we don't collect some taxes soon,
there's no telling how this ends.

Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop?

"What are taxes?"

You stopped all taxes in the world
without knowing what taxes are?

Boop.

Oh, good grief.

[sighs] Come with me.
I think we need a civics lesson.

Boop, Boop?

[whirring]

Hi, StoryBots. My name is Marley.

Why do we get sunburned?

-[whirring]
-[whistling]

[narrator] The adventures[/i]
of Blimblam the Barbarian![/i]

[Blimblam shouting, thuds]

-[panting]
-[tribal music playing]

Blimblam almost find
giant scorpion monster.

[sniffs]

Blimblam can smell it.

[grunts] Step, step, step, step.

[grunts] Huh?

-[gasps, hisses]
-[grunts]

Blimblam bash giant scorpion monster!

[grunting] Ow! Ow!

-[hisses] Oh?
-[Blimblam grunting]

-[thuds]
-Why bashing hurt?

Blimblam, how long have you been out
in the sun?

Uh…

One, nine, seven, two?

You've obviously been out here a long time
because you are severely sunburned.

"Sunburned"?

Sunburn happens when your skin gets
exposed to too much ultraviolet light.

Then Blimblam bash ultraviolet light!

Blimblam!
You can't bash ultraviolet light.

It's a wavelength of light
that your eyes can't even see.

Blimblam confused.

Let me show you.

-[thuds]
-Our light is made up of invisible waves.

Some light waves are long
and some are short.

The shorter the wave,
the more energy it contains,

and the sun has waves that are
really short called ultraviolet waves.

They contain so much energy

they can k*ll the cells
that make up your skin.

-That's why it hurts.
-Hmm.

How Blimblam fix sunburn?

Well, you can't fix it.
Your body just needs time to heal.

But you can protect yourself

by wearing a sunscreen
when you go outside.

In the meantime, rub the insides
of this cactus on your skin.

Oh, yeah. This'll help you feel better.

[splattering]

Uh, Blimblam?

[splattering]

Ooh, Blimblam feel better.

Blimblam like cactus.

Now sun will pay
for what it do to Blimblam!

[shouts]

Blimblam bash sun!

Well, that's Blimblam, y'all.

[Blimblam shouting]

[upbeat song playing]

-[singer ] ♪ Everybody loves sunshine ♪[/i]
-[singer ] ♪ They love it! ♪[/i]

[singer ]
♪ And they always have a fun time ♪[/i]

♪ But there's something
That's important to learn ♪

♪ If you stay out too long in the sun
You might get b*rned ♪

[singer ] ♪ We all know[/i]
The sun is super bright, right? ♪[/i]

♪ And it's out all day
And giving lots of light, right? ♪

♪ All light is made up of
These things called waves ♪

♪ Some are short, some are long
And they're coming your way ♪

♪ When the waves are shorter
They're filled with more energy ♪

♪ The sun's are super short
And some rays are UV ♪

♪ That's ultraviolet
That's high-energy waves ♪

♪ That destroy your body's cells
And put a burn on your face ♪

- [singer ] [/i]♪ Everybody loves sunshine ♪
- [singer ] [/i]♪ They love it! ♪

[singer ]
♪ And they always have a fun time ♪[/i]

♪ But there's something
That's important to learn ♪

♪ Without shade or some sunscreen on
You might get b*rned ♪

[song ends]

[announcer] Next stop, StoryBot City Hall.[/i]

-[classical music plays]
-[indistinct chattering]

[Secretary] Right this way, Mayor Boop.

Here it is, the origins of taxes.

Since the dawn of time, StoryBots have
traded goods and services with each other.

-[pre-historical StoryBot] Huh?
-[growling]

[yelps]

This became the foundation
of StoryBot society.

With time, StoryBots wanted
to trade more things

from locations further and further away.

[screams]

They needed a tube system to connect them,

but building it
was going to be very expensive.

To pay for it,
every StoryBot would need to chip in

by paying three kinds of taxes.

The first tax was a sales tax.

Every time a StoryBot purchased something,

a little extra was added to the price
and sent to the government.

The second was a property tax.

StoryBots paid money based on things
they owned, like cars, boats, and houses.

[clangs]

Sorry about that.

-And third was an income tax.
-[steam whistle blows]

[Secretary]
The government takes a little money

out of every StoryBot's paycheck.

-[tube suctioning]
-Hey! What the… [grunts]

[screams]

With sales tax, property tax,
and income tax,

the government got the money it needed
to build the tube system.

Taxes also help pay
for other important things,

like schools, parks, roads,
and firefighters.

Boop! Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop,

You want me to call a press conference?
But why, Mayor Boop?

Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

-[indistinct chattering]
-[camera shutters clicking]

Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

[all gasp]

-[classical music playing]
-Boop, Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop.

Boop, Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop.

Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop. Boop!

[sniffling] Such a way with words.
[sniffs]

Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

"Read my lips."

Boop, Boop. Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop.

"A reasonable amount of taxes."

[all cheering]

Newsflash, Mayor Boop
has reinstated taxes.

That tax money
has been used to repair the tube system.

All trade has resumed.

A bipartisan commission is formed
to decide on future taxes.

Some StoryBots think it's too much taxes,

some think it's too little taxes,
and some think it's just right.

StoryBot society
is back to normal at last.

-[triumphant music playing]
-Boop, Boop. Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop.

[whirring and suctioning]

[whirring]

[singer ]
♪ Do you go to a public school? ♪[/i]

[singer ] ♪ Yeah ♪[/i]

- [singer ] [/i]♪ Is your library cool? ♪
- [singer ] [/i]♪ It is ♪

[singer ] ♪ Do you have a favorite park[/i]
Where you can play and relax? ♪[/i]

[singer ] ♪ Ah, yes! ♪[/i]

-[singer ] ♪ The government has to pay ♪[/i]
-[backup singers] ♪ They gotta pay ♪[/i]

[singer ] ♪ For a lot of things we use[/i]
Each day ♪[/i]

♪ So it collects the money it needs
With something known as a tax ♪

♪ Oh, you gotta pay
A little added sales tax ♪

♪ When you buy stuff at the store ♪

♪ If you own a house, a car, or boat
That's what property tax is for ♪

♪ Whether you make money
By raising bunnies ♪

-♪ Or just playing the sax ♪
-[saxophone playing][/i]

[singer ] ♪ The government gets a cut[/i]
It's called income tax ♪[/i]

♪ Oh! ♪

[all] ♪ Some say we pay too much in tax[/i]
While others disagree ♪[/i]

-♪ Yeah! ♪
-♪ No! ♪

[singer ] ♪ What we get is nice[/i]
But there's a price ♪[/i]

♪ 'Cause none of that stuff is free
Oh, from defense to education ♪

♪ To repairs in the sidewalk cracks ♪

♪ Well, the government has expenses
So we pay our tax ♪

[all] ♪ That's why we grin and bear it[/i]
And pay our tax ♪[/i]

-[singer ] ♪ Oh! ♪[/i]
-[song ends]

-[keyboard clacks]
-Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Oh, Boop. Is that you? Can you see me?

Boop, Boop.

I'm so glad to hear from you.
Did you find out what taxes are for?

'Cause this kitty situation
isn't gonna take care of itself.

[lion roars]

-Boop, Boop. Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.
- Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.[/i]

The government collects taxes
to pay for stuff like schools and roads?

-Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.
- And firefighters?[/i]

Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop,
Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Wait, so the extra $. for the super,
giant, jumbo, big net is a sales tax?

Boop, Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

And then there's property tax
and income tax too?

Boop.

I don't know, Boop.
Sounds like a lot of taxes if you ask me.

Boop.

Ah, well. I mean, I…
I do appreciate roads and schools, and…

[inhales] I love being a firefighter.[/i]

I guess I'll head back to that store
and pay the extra $.

and get that new net.

- Boop. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.[/i]
-Oh, Boop. Thank you so much.

I appreciate your help
in teaching me about taxes.

[lion roars]

All right, kitty. I'll be right there.
Thanks, Boop. Bye!

-[static crackles]
-[theme music playing]