01x08 - The Lucky Cat Caper

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

[Shadowsan] Somewhere in my coat
lies a single dollar bill.

The coat has many pockets.

Locate the target and acquire it...

if you can.

You have two minutes.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[beeping]

[grunting]

[beeping]

[Carmen grunting]

[both grunting]

[both grunt]

Ha! This is going well.
[chuckles]

[beeping]

[Carmen shouts]

[Shadowsan grunting]

[beeping]

[growls, screams]

[both grunting]

[beeping]

[phone ringing]

- [gasps]
- [ringing continues]

The coat was empty, wasn't it?

[Player] Oh, boy.

You're having that dream again,
aren't you?

"Dream" makes it sound
like make-believe, Player.

This actually happened.

- [beeps]
- [on speaker] For the best, right?

I mean, if you'd actually aced
crime school,

you might be stealing for VILE
instead of from them.

[Carmen] For the Villains
International League of Evil?

Highly doubt that.

So, how come failing Shadowsan's final
is still bugging you?

[sighs] I don't know.

Maybe because I never got to see
where the dollar was hiding

when the exam was over.

I was the best pickpocket in Stealth ,
way better than Tigress.

Guess I just feel like
I still have something to prove.

Mm, what a view.

Pea soup.

[keyboard clicking]

[Player] They don't call San Francisco,
California, "Fog City" for nothing.

The fog blows in so often
that the locals gave it a name: Karl.

[Carmen] But when the fog lifts,
what a view.

The Golden Gate Bridge
towers feet above the bay.

It's one of the city's iconic landmarks,
along with cable cars,

the oldest and largest
Chinatown in America,

and "The Rock," Alcatraz Island,
home of the famous prison.

[Player] Too bad it hasn't been used
to jail criminals since .

Since VILE
loves hanging out on islands,

it would've been the perfect place
to lock them up.

Until that day comes,
I'm happy to keep stealing their money

to spend on worthwhile causes,

like the Children's Foundation
charity auction tonight.

A foggy night seems like
perfect trench coat weather.

But I really should dress
for the occasion.

Going once, going twice,

sold for $,
to the generous lady in red.

[applause]

[Player] You really bought the car
from Rogue Vendetta ?

Who knew you were into action flicks?

It goes with my dress,
and Zack will totally flip.

[auctioneer] Ladies and gentlemen,
this next item

is what you've been waiting
all evening for:

an extremely rare postage stamp,
donated by an anonymous private collector.

"The One-Cent Black on Magenta."

[chuckles] We can use it
to send a postcard to VILE.

Whoa. It's actually really valuable,
to the tune of a cool ten million.

Cents. Very funny, Player.

No, seriously, dollars.

How is a one-cent stamp
worth ten million dollars?

[Player] Only a small number of these
black on magentas were ever printed,

and this is the only one known to survive.

I'm taking up stamp collecting.

Great, I'll win it for you.
VILE can afford it.

A reminder that all proceeds
go to the Children's Foundation,

so don't be shy.

Bidding begins at...

[all gasping]

[auctioneer] It's gone!

Player!

- On it.
- [beeps]

Security feeds show movement
on the south side of the building.

[Player]
You'll just have to get through Karl.

Who? Oh, Karl.

The fog.

Carmen Sandiego.

Chase Devineaux.

If one wishes to vanish
into the cloak of night,

perhaps one should not shine a beacon.

Thanks for the tip.

Gah!

[high heels clacking]

And perhaps one should not wear
loud, clacky shoes.

Ah! [growls]

- I have you now, you crimson phantom!
- There you are.

[gasps]

Yes. I am here and you are there,
Ms. Argent.

But where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

Stealing from a children's charity
makes very little sense for Ms. Sandiego,

especially following the events in Mumbai

when she left the stolen Magna Carta
for us to find.

Mip, mip, mip!

Aha!

Ah!

Go on, get out of here!

- You let him go?
- What? He was merely a street clown.

At city hall?

Such performers are typically relegated
to tourist areas, like Fisherman's Wharf.

Please remain on task, Agent Argent.

Once again,
Carmen Sandiego has slipped away.

This time, with a ten-million-dollar stamp
in her little red hands.

[Maelstrom] Carmen Sandiego.
I see.

Stand by, Mime b*mb.

We will contact you with instructions
on how to proceed.

If our former pride and joy
is on our snitch's trail,

I would suggest
that a more suitable operative

transport the stamp out of San Francisco.

Mime b*mb's not exactly
what I would call the strong silent type.

I would recommend Tigress.

Would this be because she failed
to stop Carmen Sandiego in Indonesia?

Tigress is my finest student
and the most vicious.

You do not wish me to send her

because you continue to be soft
on Black Sheep.

Do I need to remind you
that we were all soft on Black Sheep

before she betrayed us
and took a new name?

Do I need to remind you
that I never thought she was fit

to enroll in VILE's program
to begin with?

Faculty, please, why squabble
when we can simply vote?

All in favor of sending Tigress,
raise your hand.

[computers beeping]

[clears throat]

Dr. Bellum, your participation
is mandatory for us to reach a decision.

I happen to be preoccupied
at the moment, Professor.

You do want me to hack into this keycard

and learn what I can about ACME,
don't you?

Fine, fine, send whomever.

I shall notify Tigress.

[Shadowsan] The handoff
will transpire in Chinatown.

Mime b*mb has been instructed to sit tight
until the exchange can be facilitated.

The stamp is hidden
within the statue of a lucky cat.

How fitting.

I consider myself VILE's lucky cat.
Meow.

This tracker will triangulate
his location.

Do not fail, Tigress.

Your intel is impeccable, Player.

Mime b*mb's here, hiding in plain sight
behind an invisible newspaper.

- [Player] Think he has the stamp?
- Hard to say.

He could be receiving or delivering.

It's in the cat.

Ugh, where is that buffoon going?

- [door opens]
- [bells jingle]

Aren't you a sly one?

[bells jingle]

Can't feed this kitty.

- [door opens]
- [bells jingle]

Within a statue of a lucky cat.

[door opens]

I'll take the tchotchke.

Or what? You'll claw my coat
into a bolero jacket?

I didn't just ace that exam,
I shredded it,

which is what
I'm about to do to your face.

[grunting]

I'll take that kitty.

We have others, you know!

I always pegged you as a crazy cat lady.

[grunting]

Finders keepers.

Should have slashed my coat.

- For the kitty cats. Keep the change.
- [door opens]

[glass shatters]

What? No stamp?

[growls] Unlucky cat!

Empty?

Mime b*mb.

ACME intel indicates

there will be an exchange
of an unknown commodity here tonight.

It could be the stolen stamp.

Then perhaps today we shall catch
Carmen Sandiego red-handed.

Do you find that suspicious?

Another street clown.
So what?

San Francisco is filled with them.

I think it's the same one from last night.

You there!

[Devineaux] Stop!

[thuds]

Devineaux had better be good at charades.

[Julia] Perhaps you left your keycard
in another jacket.

I always wear my lucky coat
when I am working,

and I only have one lucky coat.

Sir, were you wearing this coat
when you drove into the Swiss lake?

Or when you fell
onto the windshield of your c...

Never mind that!

Please just use your keycard, Ms. Argent.

[beeping]

What is your connection
to Carmen Sandiego, hmm?

Speak up! You do not have the right
to remain silent!

Perhaps we need to allow him
to answer in his own way.

[groans] Go on.

Three words, first syllable.

An elephant?

Getting a pedicure?

Giving you a pedicure?

While spreading cheese, on a baguette?

On Bastille Day?

This is ridiculous! What is he saying?

He insists he was merely performing
on the street.

He has never heard of any Carmen Sandiego.

He says he is innocent.

[growls] You are not innocent!

Carmen Sandiego stole the stamp
and you are her courier!

You are carrying the stamp, admit it!
Give it to me!

[grunting]

Perhaps he is working for VILE.

Our sincerest apologies.
You are free to go.

Uh, tell no one about this, please.

Sir, an innocent mime does not evade
agents he encounters on the street.

Which is precisely why I let him go,
Ms. Argent.

I guarantee you that he will lead us
straight to Carmen Sandiego.

[beeping]

Where have you been?

There, a street clown performing
at Fisherman's Wharf.

Are you happy now?

You're being followed.

Bravo, Mime!
Can you do "pulling on a rope"?

How about "where did you hide it"?

Are you kidding me?

[Carmen] Somewhere in that coat
lies a single ten-million-dollar stamp.

No!

[panting, growls]

- [wind howling]
- [shivers]

They were not kidding
about brisk ocean air.

- Sir, your coat.
- What?

La Femme Rouge!

She is vicious and cruel!

[tires screech]

Hey! [grunts]

- You can't take my...
- Care to tell it to the hand?

- [man whimpers]
- Didn't think so.

Check it out.
I aced the coat exam again.

[laughs]

[engine revs, tires screeching]

I got you, Red.
Roadside pickup is on the way.

[engine roaring, tires screeching]

Thanks, Carm!

I got to drive this baby
right off the auction lot!

I can't believe it's the actual car
from the movie!

Zack, you're my getaway driver,
but Tigress is the one getting away.

Starter flag waved,
and we're off to the races.

[engine revs]

[engine roars, tires screech]

[tires screeching]

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

[tires screech]

Sir, a word of caution

before you engage in another
high-speed pursuit with ACME property.

[groans] This is exactly
why I'm not inviting you along.

I cannot be slowed down
by "caution words."

- [engine revs]
- [beeps]

[tires screeching]

♪ Get your hands up ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

So, you think this baby
can drive straight up a wall,

you know, like it did in Rogue Vendetta ,
Drive 'Em Up a Wall?

Let's try not to find out.

[tires screeching, engines revving]

[Zack] Whoo!

[crashes, tires screech]

I have the stamp.
I just need to shake a little red tail.

Proceed to higher ground
where the Cleaners can provide pickup.

[scoffs] The Cleaners?

They will never arrive in time.

[Brunt] Well, they already happen
to be on site.

I suspected there might be
a mess to clean up.

Was I right?

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

♪ Get, get, get, get
Get your hands up ♪

[Devineaux] Carmen Sandiego is headed
toward the Golden Gate Bridge.

Notify the chief, have her shut it down.

The entire bridge?

The woman beams herself
from a fountain pen.

She can do anything!

[beeping]

You must swipe down and then up.

- [cars honking]
- [tires screeching]

- [beeping]
- [radio tuning]

[Julia] That is the radio, sir.

Perhaps you should remain
focused on the...

- [thumping]
- [groans]

Oh, no, no, no.

[in slo-mo] No!

Scroll until you see the letter E,
then swipe up to eject.

♪ Get, get, get, get, get till it's low ♪

- ♪ Get, get, get, get, get, what's up? ♪
- [tires screech]

♪ Get, get, get, get, get till it's low ♪

[car door closes]

- [phone beeps]
- [Tigress] Hello, gentlemen.

I've got an airmail delivery.

[grunting]

[tires screech]

Keep the motor running, Carm?

I'll catch a flight.

The stamp, Tigress.

You want it so badly? Here.

For your little save the kids,
or whales, or whatever charity.

[grunts]

Ha! Made you look!

An itty bitty stamp
is probably even harder to snatch than,

oh, I don't know, a dollar bill.

Why don't we find out?

Why don't we?

[wind howling]

[both grunting]

Hey! [growls]

Huh? [growls]

[Shadowsan] Tigress, confirm
that you have secured the stamp.

Oh, it's been secured.

Now, will you admit the coat was empty?

Like I need
your stamp of approval anyway.

A shame about the car, sir.

And your coat.

I may have lost my lucky coat,

but it is the luck of Carmen Sandiego
which will soon run out.

Good call, Shadowsan.

Tigress and Mime b*mb,
VILE's new dream team! [laughs]

- [door closes]
- [Bellum] Eureka!

Please tell us you uncovered
the meaning of ACME, Dr. Bellum.

Not quite, but by hacking the data files
embedded in this keycard,

I learned that it is registered
to this man.

Chase Devineaux.

[theme music playing]