01x09 - The French Connection Caper

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

[Maelstrom] So, do tell us, Dr. Bellum,

who in the world is this Chase Devineaux?

[Bellum]
Formerly an inspector of Interpol.

Any current assignment
is completely unknown.

Devineaux was quietly transferred
from his department in Poitiers, France,

nearly six months ago.

Poitiers?

[Cleo] Where I keep a residence?

[Maelstrom] The very residence looted
by Carmen Sandiego nearly six months ago.

Coincidence?

Devineaux was there that night.

[Brunt] Black Sheep delivered Crackle
to him on the train to Paris,

wrapped up all pretty with a bow.

[Cleo] This Devineaux also barged into
my Swiss chateau during a dinner party,

distracting me long enough to allow
Carmen Sandiego to make her escape

with my precious
stolen Vermeer paintings in tow.

And to think I had suspected
the charming duke of being her inside man.

Then it seems that we have
discerned a pattern,

one which explains how Carmen Sandiego
has repeatedly foiled our plans

with such a high rate of success.

She isn't working alone.

Sounds to me like we have ourselves
a plan B, as in "bait."

Catch Chase Devineaux,

and we finally catch
the elusive Carmen Sandiego.

We'll put Paper Star on the case.

She led us to ACME, after all.

This is not child's play.

We do not know if Black Sheep
has partnered with a rogue policeman

or a high-level law enforcement agency.

Then whom would you suggest we send,
Shadowsan?

I will go.

[Chief] Agent Devineaux,
you are a walking disaster zone!

First, you somehow managed to waterlog
not one but two ACME-issue vehicles.

Do you have any idea what fully loaded,
custom Blanton-Websters cost?

Uh...

And when you're not turning
our automobiles into submarines,

you're losing keycards

loaded with classified intel
and proprietary technology.

Please tell me you still have
your communicator pen in your possession.

Uh, yes, Chief.

You joining a K-pop band?

I was cold. It was on sale.

Stand still.

[whirrs]

- [gasps]
- [Chief] ACME's virtual tailor.

You've both been fitted
for regulation suits.

By the way, fine work
securing the Magna Carta, Agent Argent.

Saving the symbol of democracy.

Now there's a career maker!

I did not do it alone.

You did not do it alone, eh?

Of course not.
You are my partner.

Do not be coy, Ms. Argent!

I know you were referring
to La Femme Rouge, your silent partner.

And?

What if I was?

Carmen Sandiego
left the Magna Cartas on my train seat,

presumably for me to find.

She returned stolen Vermeers to museums

and ten-million-dollar postage stamps
to children's charities.

Stealing things only to return them
makes absolutely no sense.

I agree, which is why I do not believe
she's stealing these things to begin with.

So, would she be returning stolen things

to show that she can do my job
better than me?

Simply to make me look like
some sort of law enforcement imbecile?

Why must it always be about you?

Maybe you should be the one to tell me
since you are clearly Chief's favorite.

Ugh! You are impossible!

Have you forgotten to factor VILE
into any of your thinking?

You mean the non-existent entity

that our chief has been trying to prove
exists for years?

At least I have seen Carmen Sandiego
with my own two eyes.

And she's out there somewhere,

no doubt planning something nefarious
at this very moment.

Player, what have you got for me?

[Player]
Itching for a caper already, Red?

After one-upping your ex-instructor,

I figured you'd finally be ready
to take that well-deserved vacay.

Chilling makes me fidgety.

And, trust me, Shadowsan's already
plotting his next move.

[Ivy] Hey, Carm, check it out!

VILE Central.

Wicked wicked, right?

[Zack whooping]

[both grunt]

Besides, I was raised
on a tropical paradise.

Not my idea of R & R.

You sure there's nothing else
you can turn up on the hard drive?

[Player] It's been a while
since you snatched it from VILE.

We've pretty much combed through
every last bit on data on here, Red.

You may need to sneak back
to the Isle of VILE

and bring the rain all over again.

No, Player.
I am never going back to VILE Island.

[helicopter powering up]

[helicopter blades whirring]

Are you absolutely certain
the field trip is necessary, Shadowsan?

We have an army of operatives
to choose from.

Our Carmen Sandiego problem
must be tied off decisively,

once and for all.

It is time that she contend
with one of our own in the field.

I agree with Shadowsan percent.

That's right, for once. I'll go.

Absolutely not.

The coach is too soft
towards her dear Black Sheep.

At one time, that statement
might have been accurate.

But after she went and betrayed
the only family she knew,

Black Sheep is dead to me.

And Carmen Sandiego must pay!

Well, all in favor of both Shadowsan
and Coach Brunt attending to this matter?

[Shadowsan groans]

[Devineaux] I cannot stand
the sight of you!

You are only good for wrecking cars
and bullying your partner.

Ms. Argent is only trying to do her job.

She cannot help it if she is misguided.

Although, she may wind up
running ACME someday.

I should be nice and bring her Napoleons
from the patisserie tomorrow.

Wow. Foamy.

[groans]

[thuds]

[Player] Red?

Yes, it is.

- I may finally be unwinding, Player.
- Uh, don't get too comfy.

I was poking around on the deep dark web
to see what I could scrape up,

and I stumbled on a message for you.

What does it say?

"If Carmen Sandiego wants to see
her partner Chase Devineaux again,

she needs to surrender."

Partner?

The keycard.

- They'll never let Devineaux walk away.
- It smells like a trap.

Of course it's a trap,
which is why I'll need to be cautious.

Now, where are they keeping him?

[groaning]

Huh? Huh?

[Brunt] Bonjour.

Hard way or easy way?

Uh, is this where you appear to issue
my replacement keycard?

[laughs] Very funny!

Spill it, sugar. ACME.

Uh, ask you what?

Huh? Not ask me, ACME!

I've seen your keycard.

What can you tell us
about Carmen Sandiego?

Why ask me?

You two thugs work for her, do you not?

Wait. Must we do this the hard way?

Oh, no, handsome.

The easy way with a little something
we like to call "the truth extractor."

[whirring]

No, no. No, no, no!

[grunts]

[Ivy] Got a visual, Carmen.

- [Devineaux singing in French]
- And audio.

[singing in French]

- What is he crooning about?
- It is the French national anthem.

He is attempting to cloud his mind
to keep from telling the truth.

I'd spill the beans, sweet pea.

Prolonged use of this device
is not recommended.

The longer it clings to your brainpan,

the more you risk it
permanently scrambling your eggs.

[singing continues]

[muffled singing]

Give it a minute.
He'll be singing our tune.

[Carmen] Faculty field trip.

We'll need to even the odds.

ACME is a covert
surveillance organization,

dedicated to learning everything.

About what?

Ha! Something that probably
does not exist. [laughs]

Try us.

Sounds like "bile."

And what exactly do they know
about this "bile"?

[thudding]

I will attend to this.

Find out everything he knows.

Who went and made him the boss of me?

Sit tight, sweetie.

Now where did old stoneface
disappear to so fa...?

You'll do.

Oh, red is so not my color.

[gasps]

Uh-oh.

[thuds]

[sighs]

Oh, no.

[Zack grunts]

[groans]

Bait and switch.

Player, I'm in.

[groaning, speaking French]

[grunting]

So, you show your face! [chuckles]

I knew you were behind this. [laughs]

Shh. Easy, Devineaux.
Save your strength.

We need to get you out of here.

[pen beeps]

[groans]

[beeping, whirring]

What is it now, Agent Devin...?

Carmen Sandiego, I presume.

[beeping]

[Julia sighs]

Agent Argent, we have a man down.
Your partner.

What?

I was able to triangulate
Devineaux's exact location

moments before I lost contact.

I've called in the local gendarme.

[grunts] Come on, Devineaux.

- We need to get you out before it's...
- [Brunt] Too late.

[Carmen] Coach Brunt.

Long way from campus, aren't you?

You didn't expect to move away from home
without a visit from mama bear, did you?

[bones cr*ck]

And I'm not sure I approve of the tall,
handsome, law-abiding company

you're keeping these days.

Rebound relationship.

Needed a change
after all the criminals and psychopaths.

Now, you know
I can't let you leave again, Lambkins.

That's what I figured.

[gasps]

[both grunting]

[Carmen grunts]

Red, you okay in there?

[both grunting]

[groans]

Did you learn nothing in school?

Always protect the face,

and never enter a room
without an exit plan.

[grunting]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[groans]

[both grunting]

[grunts]

[bones cracking]

[gasps]

I know how much you wanted
to get out and see the world, pumpkin,

but trust me, it's a world of hurt.

[sirens wailing]

Oh, man, oh, man.

[gasping] Huh?

Come on, Red, you just need
to buy yourself a little more time.

Backup's on the way.

You rescued me from the side of a road,

only to lure me here
so you can pound me into dust?

[laughs] Believe you me, Lambkins,
that is one stone you do not want to turn.

But I promise to let bygones be bygones
if you be a good little sheep

and come back to the island
with the rest of the flock.

[gasps]

Then you better pound harder

because I am never going back
to VILE Island.

After every little thing
we've ever done for you.

Come here, little cub.

- [bones cracking]
- [Carmen groaning]

Let mama bear give you
one great, big last hug goodbye.

- [bones crunching]
- [groans, gasps]

- [thuds]
- [grunts]

[gasps]

Still infighting, huh?

Well, I wasn't going back with Coach

and I'm definitely
not going back with you.

I did not come here to take you back.

[grunts]

- [screams]
- [sword clangs]

Carmen?

I...

I don't understand.

Follow me now. No questions.

- What?
- That is a question.

[sirens wailing]

The police will attend to him,

and they will lock us up
if we are still here when they do.

I'll take my chances with them, thank you.

The police are the least of my concerns.

Do you really not realize
that being trapped in a cell

would far more easily
allow VILE to reach us?

Reach us?

Stubborn as always, Black Sheep.

Can you not see
that we are in this together now?

We've always been in this together,
haven't we?

[groans]

It was you.

You were the one who found me.

You are in no condition
to leave here on your own.

Please.

[police radio chattering]

[dog barking]

[groans]

[sighs] Huh?

Shadowsan?

[metal clangs]

Cleaners, is Shadowsan with you?

I see. I'm gonna need pickup.

[grunts]

[groans]

Does it hurt when you breathe in?

Argentina.
Tell me everything, now.

There is nothing more to tell.

As strange as it may seem,

even someone like me is incapable
of turning his back on an abandoned baby.

If you were such a sensitive guy,
why have you been such a jerk to me?

Unlike the other members of our faculty,

I did not wish for you
to succeed in crime school...

because I could not bear
the thought of you being faced

with having to choose a path of evil.

You knew I'd never accept,

and you knew what they'd do to me
when I said no.

You failed me
because you were trying to protect me.

And?

[sighs] Yes, the coat was empty.

I knew it! [groans]

And you were never anything less

than the very finest pickpocket
in your class.

I sent Tigress to San Francisco

knowing you would enjoy
proving that to her all over again.

So, why now? Why tonight?

I feared VILE might finally succeed
in stopping you,

so it once again
seemed the right time to intervene.

Again?

I was not trying to harm you on the night
of your escape from the island.

I was trying to join you.

I guess I scare easy
when I see a drawn sword.

I felt it was a necessary ruse.

Though, did you not wonder

why the Cleaners never pursued you
in the helicopter?

No way!

A great burden was lifted from me
the night of your escape,

believing that you would begin
a new life somewhere.

I never fathomed that you would dedicate
your life to destroying VILE,

which complicated things for me,
to say the least.

[police radio chattering]

[Julia] Agent Devineaux
is extremely disoriented.

They won't know more until they run tests.

The lug didn't deserve
whatever Carmen Sandiego did to him.

But... how can you be certain
she was behind this?

The keycard. It all adds up.

Devineaux didn't lose it.

Carmen picked his pocket
and used it to bait him.

Beyond that, I have to trust what I saw
with my own two eyes.

Carmen Sandiego was in that room
with Devineaux tonight.

[Player] You went back to Poitiers
to rescue a detective

and left with an evil VILE mastermind?

The worst one, too!
What makes you think you can trust him?

And what exactly was he doing
in Argentina years ago anyway?

That's exactly what I want to know.

There's more to the story.
There has to be.

And my only chance of finding out
will be to keep Shadowsan...

close.

[Player] Let me guess,
ninja disappearing act?

Something like that.

I'm sorry, Red.

Don't be.

- He left something behind.
- What?

A present.

Have Zack and Ivy meet me at rendezvous.

I have a feeling
we're gonna have new capers to plot.

[theme music playing]