(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
NURSE: Disrobe, please,
and put this gown on.
SONNY: God, it's
cold in here.
Now, fill this bottle.
I don't think I can
fill the whole thing.
You certainly look
like you can.
Oh. Thank you.
I'll do the best I can.
God, it's cold in here.
(TRICKLING)
I filled it up.
That's a good boy.
Thank you.
Well, hand me
the bottle.
Could I hold on
to it a little longer?
It keeps my hands warm.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hello. Hello,
is this x-ray?
NURSE : Step up here.
Stand still.
Hold your breath.
And you will not speak.
SONNY: God, it's dark.
Well, you're lucky,
'cause I'm ugly.
Now, you will
drink this down
without stopping.
(GULPING)
Ah! God! Are you sure
this isn't the bottle
I just filled?
No jokes, please.
All right! Here we go.
(MACHINERY HUMMING)
I'm upside down!
I'm turning upside down!
Ah, yeah.
Don't be alarmed.
Now, I am just going
to insert this tube.
Insert what tube?
Don't insert... I don't...
I can't see, it's dark.
Insert the tube where?
Where? Ahhh!
That's where.
Just let it fill
your lower abdomen.
I can't hold it.
I can't hold it.
Well, think of it
as a contest.
I'm losing the contest.
I can't hold it! I tell
you, I can't hold it!
(GRUNTING) Ahhh!
Ahhh!
Ohhh, schweinhund!
¶ Now, here's another
fine mess I'm into, honey
¶ A little bit sad
and a little bit funny
¶ Sit and listen if you
wanna know the score
¶ It's a story that you've
probably heard before ¶
It's the same thing
Ali MacGraw had in
Love Story, isn't it?
DR. KRUGMAN: No.
See, what you have is
a toxic blood disease.
If I remember correctly,
Miss MacGraw had,
uh, leukemia.
Yeah, but I wind
up the same way.
Dead.
Now, I didn't say
that, Mr. Lawson.
You didn't have to say it.
You don't have to be afraid
to say it, Dr. Krugman.
You've had the biopsies,
you've had the blood tests,
you've had the spinal taps.
I've been to
three doctors.
How long have I got?
It's really very
difficult to say.
Try.
Well, you see,
it's difficult to say
because there's always
a chance that there's some
doctor working somewhere,
in some little lab
who may find a cure.
Look, I'm not talking
about some miracle.
Now, barring some miracle,
I'm a big man.
I'm a strong guy.
You know what I mean?
I can handle it.
Now just tell me.
How long have I got?
I'd say you've
got a year.
Ahhh! Oh, my God!
No! Oh, I can't believe it.
(SOBBING) Oh, a year left.
I can't believe it.
Ahhh, ahhh!
Ahh, sh*t!
Oh, what's the shortest?
I've seen some
of these cases
go in three months.
Ohhh, sh*t.
I've got three
months to live.
Well, you can say
you've got three
months to live
if you choose to look
at this thing at,
well, it's most,
most negative level.
Well, that's the way
I choose to look at it.
At the most negative level!
That's where I'm the
most comfortable!
The most negative level!
I don't even feel sick.
I mean, I...
I feel sick, but I don't
feel like I'm dying.
I mean, I feel lousy, but I
don't feel like I'm dying.
You know what I mean?
I mean, people
kept telling me,
"Jesus, you're losing
so much weight.
You look great!"
"God, you look great!
You're losing so
much weight!"
I mean, I do look good.
Don't I look good?
You look good.
You look very good.
I think you're
going through a
period of remission.
You know,
people frequently
take on an almost
glowing quality.
Just before they die.
(SNIFFLING)
You know, what I
don't understand is,
why didn't you
call your own
doctor sooner?
I mean, surely you must
have known that you were
quite ill for some time.
I... I thought I'd discovered
some new way of losing weight.
Throwing up.
Throwing, throwing
up's no good.
That's not good.
You can't keep that up.
It's going to get
worse, isn't it?
Yeah. You see, unfortunately,
as the disease progresses,
the pain increases.
I'm very curious.
How do you feel
right now?
Well, I don't have
a headache today.
I didn't have one
yesterday. I...
My stomach
is kind of bad on me.
On a scale from one to ten,
I'd say it's about a six.
You, you rate the pain?
That's interesting.
That's really
interesting.
You talk about pain.
We had a guy,
came in this office.
A patient of mine, about
two or three years ago.
Never mind.
Any, anyway,
we have, ah...
We have wonderful dr*gs.
We really have miraculous
dr*gs now for pain.
(INHALING)
Really make you feel good.
What we're gonna do is,
we're gonna give you
bone marrow injections.
Perhaps tie off some
veins, and maybe...
Maybe we'll remove
your spleen.
No.
No!
No!
You're not gonna
remove nothing.
I haven't had much
dignity in my life.
But I'm gonna have some
dignity in my death.
I'm not gonna tell
anybody about this,
see.
I'm not gonna tell my
mother or my father.
I'm not gonna tell my
little daughter, Julie.
Nobody's gonna know
that I'm gonna die!
(SNEEZING)
Nobody!
Damn it. Sorry.
You were saying.
You just gotta tell me
one thing. I mean...
What's it gonna be
like at the very end?
Oh, wow.
You're really not
making it easy on me.
Oh, sorry!
I'm sorry.
Okay.
All right, in the final
stages you, of course,
will be hospitalized.
You will experience
a great deal of
shortness of breath.
Severe cramps.
And, uh, a great deal
of, uh, hemorrhaging.
Great deal.
(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)
Mr. Lawson, you forgot to
make another appointment.
Mr. Lawson.
Mr. Lawson?
¶ Here's another fine
mess I'm into, honey
¶ They won't cut me loose,
not for love nor money
¶ I'm a fighter
but they've got
me on the floor
¶ Don't believe I'm going
to take this anymore
¶ Well, here's another fine
mess I've stumbled into
¶ As sorry a state
as I've ever been to
¶ Though it's difficult
for some to understand
¶ I'm going to knuckle down
and take it like a man
Pronounced dead by
a rotten corporation.
¶ I'm going to knuckle down
and take it like a man ¶
(SOBBING)
(SOBBING LOUDLY)
(WHINING)
(SOBBING)
I can't see.
I can't see.
I got something
in my eye.
(SNIFFING)
(EXCLAIMING) Yuck!
Hey.
What'd he die of?
What, are you crazy?
Get outta here.
Sir?
Sir?
Ma'am?
What'd he die of?
SONNY: You can have
a little dignity.
I might have
been a customer!
MAN: You're gonna be
in about two seconds.
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
MAN: Oh, God.
The corpse slammed
against the door!
(BELL TOLLING)
Excuse me, kid.
Do you know where can,
uh, talk to a priest?
(CLATTERING)
I'm a priest.
Oh.
Really. I am.
No, I believe
you. I think.
Says so on my
driver's license.
Well, that's all right.
It's just that you
look so young.
Yeah. Yeah.
I made a decision to
serve God right after
I got out of high school.
Oh, that's nice.
You got the calling, huh?
Naw. It was more
like a whisper.
Nothing like you
see in the movies.
I love movies.
That's very interesting.
Very interesting.
Sir?
Yeah.
If you'd like
an older priest...
No, no, no,
that's okay...
They call you Father,
Fa... Uh... Father,
what?
Benson.
Father Benson.
I'd, uh... I'd like
to make a confession.
Really?
Yes.
Gee. I haven't heard
many confessions.
As a matter of fact,
you'd be about my first.
Your first?
In the field,
I mean. Yes.
You see, we used to
practice on our friends
back at the seminary.
They all had such
crummy little sins.
(CHUCKLING)
Barely worth
confessing.
Maybe you should have
a priest with a little
more experience.
What do you think?
Father O'Hara will be
here this afternoon.
He's old.
He's old.
Look, I don't
know how to, how
to put this. Uh...
This is gonna be
my last confession.
No.
Yeah. You see,
I'm dying.
No.
You mean like...
In dead?
Like in dead. Yeah.
Dying like in dead.
Right.
Dying. Wow.
You know, a lot
of people say that
Father O'Hara looks just
like Barry Fitzgerald.
You know, kindly.
Yeah.
A little twinkle
in the eye.
I... I don't want to
talk to Father O'Hara.
I want to talk to you.
Me?
Yes.
See, I haven't got
that much time.
And I gotta make my
confession now. Okay?
Certainly.
Thank you.
And one other thing.
I have a hard time
calling you Father, Father.
Oh. Call me Dave,
if it's more
comfortable.
Dave.
Dave.
Thanks.
After you.
My son.
In.
Bless me, Dave,
for I have sinned.
Dave?
Yes? I am still here.
I think I'd rather
call you Father.
Fine.
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
How long has it been
since your last
confession?
Uh... Last confession
I made was, uh...
Twenty-two years ago.
Boy.
That's a long time.
I was really hoping one of us
would be good at this thing.
What?
I said that...
Why have you stayed away
from God's house so long?
I don't know.
I just stopped
going to church
after I, uh...
I just sort of lost
interest. I mean...
After I discovered
fu... Uh, sex.
That's when we lose
a lot of 'em.
I still believe in God.
(POPPING)
Don't worry, we all
lack faith sometimes.
(POPPING)
Want me to tell
you something?
Yeah.
Every day,
I have questioned if I
made the right decision,
becoming a priest.
You see...
Becoming a priest, that
can keep a person from
committing a sin. Sure.
But it can't
keep a person from...
From lusting after women,
craving alcohol,
dreaming of screwing
a business partner,
contemplating
going out and...
This is my dime.
Do you mind?
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
Where was I?
Um... "Oh, bless me."
That part.
Yeah. Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
Among my grievous
sins, um...
Is jacking off
still a sin?
(POPPING)
I mean, uh...
Is that still
your biggie?
No.
It's mine.
Oh, I know.
I sell real estate.
That's a sin?
The way I sell it,
it is.
Also...
Also, I...
Well, the whole time
that I was married,
when I should've been...
Being a good father
to my daughter...
Well, I was out
copulating around
with other women.
(POPPING)
You, um...
Committed adultery
during your marriage?
Yes, I did.
About, um...
How many times?
Well, let's see.
I was married
eight years.
About times.
Jesus Christ. Son of our
Lord! Blessed member
of the Holy Trinity.
(CHUCKLES)
Two hundred
times? Wow!
All right!
(POPPING)
How's it going?
Fine.
Uh, where do they, uh,
keep the dying patients?
Everywhere.
I mean the,
uh, the terminally
ill ones, you know?
Do they keep 'em
in a special place?
I don't know, man.
I ain't no doctor.
I'm a singer.
I just work
here part time.
¶ You make me feel
like dancin'
¶ Gonna dance
the night away
¶ You make me feel
like dancin'
¶ Gonna dance
the night away
That's real nice.
That's real nice.
But where do you keep
the dying people?
That I gotta know.
Why?
'Cause I'm dying myself.
I'll be dead in a month.
Hey, man, don't
touch the food.
Oh, sorry.
Look up on the third floor.
I don't think any of those
folks are leaving this place.
Least not through
the front door.
Uh, thanks.
Can I use the stairs?
Yeah, man.
¶ You make me feel
like dancin'
¶ Gonna dance
the night away ¶
MAN ON PA: Dr. Cambert,
report to Intensive
care immediately.
Dr. Cambert, report to
Intensive Care immediately.
What?
Dr. Cambert, never mind.
Oh, my God.
I'm not gonna end
up like that.
Honey, you can't
come down here.
No, I'm still in
Intensive Care.
Well, I sneaked out
to make this phone
call to you. Yeah.
Well, I want you to talk
some of that trash to me.
Excuse me. I got to
make a very important
call. Do you mind?
Buzz off, fella.
Yeah, honey.
You know what
I want. Yeah.
Yeah. Talk some of
that lovely talk.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Now that...
That's good stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
I hate to be rude,
but this really
is important.
Will you kiss my ass!
Oh, not you, honey.
No. No. Oh, some guy.
Oh, no, that's it.
Oh, don't make me
breathe too heavy, now.
No, I don't get my
pacemaker till tomorrow.
Yeah, honey.
Yeah! What?
Oh, yeah. That's
the good part.
Yeah. What?
I'll call you back.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Darlene?
Is Marty there?
Lunch? Hell,
it's only : .
Where's he having lunch at?
God damn, I don't give
a crap what he said!
Where's he having lunch at?
Darlene, I'm gonna
be dead in hours!
Now where's he having lunch?
Casa...
SONNY: Marty,
you're my best friend.
You're my lawyer,
and you're Jewish.
So you're used to pain.
I've gotta talk to somebody,
so I'm gonna talk to you.
What are you
talking about?
I'm talking about dying.
What's that
supposed to mean?
It means lying in the ground
with dirt on your face and
holding your breath forever.
I know what dying means!
But what's this got
to do with you?
It's got everything
to do with me!
I'm gonna die!
My doctor told me.
Oh, a doctor.
Oh, that's nothing.
They, they say anything
just to keep you coming.
Doesn't mean a thing.
No, no, Marty.
Listen to me.
I've got a toxic
blood disease.
A toxic blood disease.
I've known it for
three months now.
My chest aches,
my stomach aches.
Everything aches.
I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous
all day long! And sick!
I'm your best friend.
How come you didn't
tell me?
I told you. I told you!
Every time I'm
in your office,
I throw up on your desk!
Was that you?
Yes!
Marty?
I'm gonna k*ll myself.
What do you say, Sonny?
Do you like the enchilada
plate here? It's...
Did you hear what I said?
I'm gonna k*ll myself!
I really am.
Sonny.
You're the sweetest
guy I know.
I'm so sorry.
SONNY: Forget it.
Forget it.
It doesn't
bother me.
(CRUNCHING)
That bothers me.
I'm sorry, Sonny.
I'm... I'm hungry.
I haven't eaten all day.
Well, eat if you want
to eat. Go ahead.
No, that's all right.
If you can eat
when I'm dying.
I don't have to eat now.
Okay.
I have a lot
more time.
True. It's true.
Sonny, Jessie...
Julie...
I will do anything
I can for them.
What a guy.
I appreciate it.
Sonny.
Mmm-hmm.
It is a little morbid,
but we are on the subject.
How... In what manner...
How do you...
No, no. You
mean to do it.
To do it.
Yeah.
How, how, how...
Yeah. Well, I think...
I think sleeping pills.
Ah.
Most painless, right?
I don't have any now.
But I can probably
borrow some.
Um.
Huh?
Good. Good.
Have you got any?
No.
I have Sleep-eze.
Oh, that's...
Can't OD on Sleep-eze.
No, I could, but
it'd take , .
Yeah.
Well...
(SIGHING)
I'm gonna go by
and see Mary Ellen.
I'm gonna say
goodbye to her.
But I'm not gonna tell
her, you know, that...
Oh, no.
I'm just gonna
say good bye
and I'll be back
to see you later,
sometime.
Intelligent. Sensitive.
It's what we expect of you.
MARY ELLEN: (SOBBING)
You can't be dying,
Sonny!
Don't tell me that!
It can't be true!
Honey, you...
(BLOWING NOSE)
I'm sorry, baby.
I shouldn't
have told you.
Sonny, not now.
(SOBBING)
Sonny!
This could be
my last meal.
(MEOWS)
Sonny, not now!
Just making
a little joke.
Well, it's a
terrible one.
You're using
your death.
Yeah. You're right.
I guess I was going
for a pity f*ck.
Sonny.
Oh, my sweet Sonny.
(SOBBING)
Stupid idea.
Oh, Sonny.
What can I do to
make you feel better?
I didn't think
you'd go for it.
Oh, Sonny,
I'll do anything.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Oh.
(SCREAMING) No!
(SONNY EXCLAIMING)
Kitty, kitty, kitty.
How was it in there?
Um, felt good.
(CAT MEOWS)
Did you, uh...
Did you, uh...
No?
No.
There was a moment there,
you know, when you kinda
arched your back,
and you kinda let
out a little sigh.
I thought maybe you
reached an orgasm then.
No.
You know the moment
I'm talking about?
You know, when you
had your back arched,
and you, and you...
(GASPING)
Let out a little...
Sonny, I really don't want
a blow-by-blow description
of our lovemaking.
Takes everything
out of it.
Yeah, course
it does.
Maybe you
reached a climax
and didn't know it.
Now, that's possible.
No, it's not.
Did you at least
like it?
Well, of course
I liked it, Sonny!
I wouldn't do it
if I didn't like it.
Yeah, that's the difference
between you and me.
I've done it with
people I didn't like.
I've done it with people
that nobody liked.
Ohhh.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, Mary Ellen.
The least you could do
for a dying man is come.
Oh, Sonny!
Well, you don't let
go, Mary Ellen!
You just won't release.
You told me that yourself.
Oh, please, Sonny!
I mean, what can I do?
You can do what any
decent woman would do.
You could lie to me!
For goodness' sakes!
I can't lie to you!
For goodness' sakes!
That's why you love me.
That's the problem!
That's always been
the problem!
I love you more
than you love me.
That's why you won't
move out of this place!
That's why you won't
move in with me.
That's why you
won't come.
That's why you won't
clean up this kitchen!
(SNARLING)
Sonny...
I don't know why
you're doing this
to me.
Why are you saying
all these things that
make me so unhappy?
Because I'm unhappy!
Seeing you is like...
Being alone!
(SNARLING)
(HISSING)
Well, then why do you
keep coming here?
I tell you exactly
how I feel.
(MEOWING)
Kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
Why do you keep
coming here?
Oh, I gotta get
out of here.
Where you going?
I gotta go see
Julie before...
Before what?
Before she finds out
what happened.
Well, now, I thought
you told me you
hadn't decided
if you were gonna
tell Julie or not.
Look, I just had a very
traumatic experience and
want to talk to my daughter.
Do you mind?
Okay. All right.
All right,
don't get mad.
It's just...
I just don't want you
to do anything crazy.
Like what?
I don't know.
I just don't
want you to
hurt yourself.
Well, don't be silly.
I'm not gonna hurt myself.
What, what are you
talking about?
What'd you do with that g*n
I gave you last Christmas
to protect yourself with...
Sonny!
I'm just kidding.
You're not funny.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
Honey, I gotta change.
Julie doesn't like to
see me in ladies' clothes.
Sonny, I...
I hate to let you go.
Why?
Am I gonna see you
back again here tonight?
Course.
Sonny?
You promise you're not
gonna do anything
to yourself?
Mary Ellen...
If was gonna
k*ll myself,
don't you think I would've
told you about it, so that
you would have been
riddled with
guilt and remorse?
That's true.
Sleeping pills!
Oh, Sonny, what do you
need sleeping pills for?
If you just go
on a good diet...
You know,
give up the sugar,
give up the caffeine.
Don't lecture me!
Don't lecture me from
classes that I paid for.
All right. All right.
I was just trying to
help.
But you always
relate everything
to money, don't you?
A lesson I learned
from your lawyer.
Oh, would you
just get out?
I'm sorry.
I don't want to
fight with you.
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
What?
I don't want to
fight with you!
You don't?
No.
What's the matter,
Wendell?
I don't feel good.
Well, here. Why don't you
try some of this? Should
make you feel better.
Look, if you're really
having trouble sleeping,
why don't you go and
borrow a couple of
pills from your folks?
They're hypochondriacs.
My folks are not
hypochondriacs!
You always call
them hypochondriacs!
They might have
a couple of
downers, though.
Sonny, why are you here?
I told you, I have something
I have to discuss with Julie.
It's very important.
Maybe could discuss
it with you.
Will it depress me?
Well, God, hope so.
Well, then, would you save
it till tomorrow, please?
I've had a terrible day.
Julie woke up at
: this morning
screaming that the shark
was after her again.
I will never forgive
you for taking her
to see that movie.
You know she's afraid
of the water, anyway.
I'm sorry, Jessie.
I was just trying
to please her.
She said she wanted to
see the picture. I was
trying to make her happy.
Sonny, she will say
anything to look brave
to you. You're so dumb.
I will not be called
dumb by a woman
that I support!
Shh. The maid
is taking a nap.
(SHOUTING) I support
the maid, too!
You wake up Maria,
Sonny, I will...
We fired Maria!
This is another Maria!
Oh.
Julie's screaming
woke her up at :
this morning, too.
Then Maria started screaming
because she thought it was
the border patrol.
(MAN CHATTERING ON CAR RADIO)
Oh, Jessie.
You want to hear
about heartache?
You want to hear about
heartbreak, Jessie?
Heartbreak!
Sonny, are you
growing a beard?
I've been growing a
beard for three months.
Why?
Because some mornings
when I wake up,
I don't have the
strength to shave.
Well, you ought to
go to a barber.
It looks awful.
You don't care about
me. You don't care
about me at all.
No, I don't care about you.
Not since you walked
out that door.
I didn't walk out
the door. You threw
me out the door.
With two hookers.
One little mistake!
One little mistake!
And I've been paying
for it for six years.
I've been apologizing
for six years.
And I'll tell you
something, Jessie.
Out of respect for you,
the three of us never
laid down on our bed.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
That's my date.
Now would you please
just get out of here.
No.
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
Why don't you
drop dead?
I'm working on it.
Oh! Buenas tardes.
Mi amor.
Te ves hermosa.
Uh-huh. Oh, oh, gracias.
Te ves divina, divina.
Ah, merci.
Oh, merci! Oh.
Uh, uno momento. Si?
Uh, no prestes
atencione a
ese schmuck.
And you be civil,
or I'll k*ll you.
(SIGHING)
Ah, I don't know how to
tell you this. But...
I'm a dying man.
Senor, yo no
hablo ingles.
Son of a g*n.
That's too bad.
Okay. Esta bien.
Vamonos.
Jessie, I need to talk
to you one momento.
Ah, let go of me.
I need to talk to you
for a moment, please.
Ah, por favor, uh, eh,
esperas en el auto?
Yeah, adioso.
Okay?
S'il vous plait, uh...
Yeah. Okay.
And f*ck the
Panama Canal.
Would you let go of me?
Listen to me a second.
Now, where are you
and Pancho going?
To Taco Bell and have
a little cock fight?
You are a r*cist ass.
We are going to a
French restaurant you
wouldn't take me to,
and after that we are
attending a seminar.
Oh, boring! Boring.
That may be to you,
Sonny, but not to me.
I am trying to make
my life better.
It may not work, but
at least I'm trying.
Okay? Let go.
Where did you
meet this beaner?
Beaner?
Beaner.
Yes. Well, I met this
beaner in the English
class that I teach.
Oh, how nice!
This beaner happens to
be the son of an arch...
The teacher's gonna
take out the student.
A little tea and sympathy,
and then have a little...
And you're also a sexist
ass, too, right?
You look years
older than him!
You look like
you're his chaperone!
How dare you say that!
You're going with a girl
who probably still
wears a retainer!
Let go of me!
Will you listen to me?
I gotta talk to
you for a minute!
If you don't let go of
me and get out of my way,
I'll give you a karate chop.
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, you don't
think so?
No! Oh!
(DOOR SLAMS)
Okay, Sonny.
Pull yourself
together now.
Here we go.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
You going to go?
Huh?
Of course you're
not going to go.
The last time you got up
was when your chair
was on fire.
You don't have to
yell. I'm not deaf.
Oh, hello, dear.
Hi, Mom.
When're you gonna
shave that thing off?
I'm working on it.
I'm working on it.
I brought you some candy.
Oh, thank you.
Hiya, Pop.
(SHOUTING) Hiya, Pop.
Who is it?
It's your only son.
Ah-ha! You never forget
the holy water, do you?
You hungry?
Oh, I'm almost
out of milk.
How's the art world?
What?
I said, how's
the art world?
Boring. Boring.
What the hell else are
you gonna do when
you're past ?
Sit around and watch
your hands turn brown?
(CHUCKLES)
I hope you can stay.
We never talk.
I can only stay
a minute, Mom.
Listen, I, uh...
l haven't been getting
enough sleep lately,
and I thought
maybe you could give me
a couple of sleeping
pills to take, huh?
Sleeping pills?
We don't have any
sleeping pills,
do we, Ben?
You know damn well we
got enough sleeping
pills in there
to put the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir
in a coma.
Go help yourself, Son.
Thank you, Pop.
Take what you need,
but be careful how
you use 'em.
I will!
Don't take too many.
Ooh.
A nine.
BEN: Try those blue ones.
They'll really put
you in la-la land.
Wowee.
MAUREEN: I should never
have married an Irishman
who drinks.
BEN: Try finding
one who doesn't.
My God.
No wonder they could
put up with each other
all these years.
I don't like this
guy's colors, Maureen.
They're all the same.
All day I've been painting
, and , and .
I'm sorry, Ben.
The store was all
out of Sad Clowns.
(EXCLAIMS)
The blue ones.
They really put you
in la-la land.
...took place n South America
in the rich wildlife area
along the Kanani River,
creating a vast
man-made lake that
flooded the wildlife range.
Pedro Travalle found
this kinkajou swimming
over flooded treetops
that were once its home.
Our orphaned baby otters
would have starved
if we hadn't found them
near their den.
I'll see you two later.
Goodbye, Pop.
Bye-bye, my boy.
Goodbye, Mother.
Goodbye, dear.
Sure you're not hungry?
The meatloaf's great.
Well, I'll have
to heat it up.
Oh, you'd have to heat it up.
You think you can handle it,
Maureen?
I didn't mean that.
Ahhh...
That's all right
I'm... I'm not hungry.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
(MAN CHATTERING ON TV)
(COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
I'm not paying all kinds
of money for my daughter
to learn this smut.
You're certainly not.
Her bill hasn't been
paid in months.
(GIRLS CHATTERING)
Nice outfit for
a striptease.
It's from the
stage show.
Yeah, saw it.
In the Navy.
Don't you think you
ought to wear a coat
over that thing?
Isn't it kind
of cold?
It's degrees out.
If there's anything
I'd like to take off,
it's this dumb hat.
What's the matter
with that hat?
It's cute.
Why do we have to put
"Daddy's Girl" on it?
It makes me sound
like a racehorse.
I'm not going to have my
daughter wear a hat that
says "Bitch" on it.
Dad, why'd you bring
me here? I hate
miniature golf.
You loved it
the last time
I brought you here.
That was six years ago.
The game hasn't
changed that much.
Castles are bigger.
I've changed.
I know you've changed.
That's why I want
to talk to you.
Sit down.
Julie...
I want to talk to
you about sex.
If you want to talk to me
about sex, I know plenty.
Oh, you do?
Like what?
Well, I'm at the
top of my class
in sex education.
I just got an A on my
paper on menstruation.
How nice.
How can I put
this delicately,
so you won't be suspicious
of the opposite sex for
the rest of your life?
You see, all boys
and all men
are rotten filthy beasts
who just want to get
you in the sack
and jump your bones,
and then dump on you.
(LAUGHING)
That's the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.
Dad, why are
you telling me
all this now?
I'm gonna go
away for a while.
Maybe for a
long while.
Julie...
But I'm coming back.
I am coming back.
God damn it, why you gotta
wear that stupid thing?
Why can't you wear
a coat over it?
It's obscene.
Take me home.
I'm sorry we
had a fight.
Come here.
Me, too.
Me, too.
Tell you what.
Let's us not be mad
at each other.
Ever again.
About today,
or anything
in the future.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean in this old
world that, sometimes,
things happen we don't
understand. You know?
But years later when
we think about them,
they make sense.
Uh, I don't understand
what you're trying to say.
That's good.
(CHUCKLING)
Goodbye, honey.
Dad?
Yeah?
Is this a business trip?
Yeah, it's a
business trip.
Are you gonna take
Mary Ellen with you?
No, I'm not.
Then who the hell's
gonna take care of you?
Don't curse.
Wish I could go.
Damn it,
don't say that.
Why?
Dad, what's wrong?
(SIGHING)
Where are you going?
Bakersfield.
Well, you sound funny.
Like you're going
someplace awful.
You ever been
to Bakersfield?
I know you haven't been
feeling very well lately.
Oh.
You're going to the
hospital, aren't you?
No, I'm not going
to the hosp...
I'm not going
in the hospital.
Swear to God?
Swear to God.
Cross your heart?
I cross my heart.
Hope to die?
I hope to die.
I'm glad.
Ahhh.
I'll miss you, Julie.
I'll miss you more
than anybody.
You'll see me when
you get back.
Yeah.
I love you.
(SNIFFLING)
You better go
now. Bye-bye.
I love you.
"Wendell Sonny Lawson.
"Love from Mother."
(CHUCKLES)
God, what an ass I had.
You know, if I'd have been
four seconds faster in
the -yard dash,
I'd have been
All-American.
Memories!
(SIGHING)
Is this the coward's way out?
Of course, that's
why I picked it.
(LAUGHING)
Come on.
Get on with it.
Here's a blue one.
Um...
God! Sour. sh*t. f*ck!
(SPITTING) sh*t!
Oh, oh.
Um.
Ah. Ah.
He's damn near right.
You can't take just one.
Um.
"Lonely? Depressed?
"Contemplating su1c1de?
(LAUGHING)
"Don't do it.
Dial -HELP."
Why not?
Um, ,
H-E-L-P.
(RINGING)
FEMALE VOICE: Hello.
Hello?
Thank you for calling...
Hello? Hello?
Ma'am? Listen,
I... I... I'm...
I've done a terrible
thing. I'm taking, uh...
I'm taking, uh, booze
and, and downers,
and I'm...
It's a very dangerous
thing to do because...
This is a recording.
Hello? Ma'am?
(ON-HOLD MUSIC PLAYING)
Hello?
Twat!
(BURPING)
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
God, what a mess.
Oh.
Look at all that color.
Looks like Walt Disney
threw up.
No.
I never even had my own dog.
It ain't working yet.
Nothing's happening.
Hmm.
(MOCK-SOBBING)
The note.
Oh, my God.
I forgot the note.
(BURPS)
Who do I write the note to?
Uh, Jessie.
Uh,
no, if I write it to Jessie,
Mary Ellen would be hurt.
If I write it to Mary Ellen,
then Jessie will be hurt.
No matter who I write it to,
my mother will be hurt.
I could write it to my father.
He probably wouldn't read it.
Who do I know?
Who do I know
that's mature enough
to handle a su1c1de note?
"Dear Julie.
"I'm so sorry.
"Daddy is so,
(SCRIBBLING)
"so sorry."
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(IMITATES BIRDS SQUAWKING)
God damn son of a bitch.
MARLON: Hi.
It's very interesting
the way you woke up cursing.
A large percentage
of attempted suicides
wake up with exclamations
of hostility.
Where am I?
(CHUCKLES)
Ninety-two percent,
of them ask that.
You're in La Playa.
The nut house?
That's a cruel label.
We prefer "booby hatch."
You a doctor?
(CHUCKLES) No. Me?
No. I'm a patient.
Marlon Joseph Borunki.
Paranoid schizophrenic.
Deep feelings of inferiority
alternating with delusions
of grandeur.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, Sonny Lawson.
Real estate.
Uh-huh.
Wait a minute. Didn't you
used to be on television
selling land somewhere?
Yes, I used to watch you.
Ah, Lake Crest Estates,
right?
You didn't buy a lot there,
did you? I swear to God
there was a lake there,
I swear to God there
was a lake there.
I don't buy land
from television.
I'm crazy but, uh,
I'm not that crazy,
you know?
A real TV star.
How'd I get here?
I can't get over it.
Sonny Lawson.
Haha! What?
How'd I get here?
Oh. Uh, they transferred
you here last night
from the hospital.
You tried to k*ll yourself,
unsuccessfully,
needless to add.
Oh, sh*t!
Then why did you
say it, dummy?
(GROWLING) Hey.
I'm writing a book
on insanity.
You should always write
about something you know.
You know?
I'm calling it
Fruitcakes I Have Known.
There's two whole chapters,
by the way, on su1c1de,
that would interest you.
Did you know,
for instance,
that % of all
female suicides have
bleached hair and
a hysterectomy scar?
(CHUCKLES)
You blue?
Are you depressed?
Yeah.
I thought I'd wake up dead.
They had no right
to stop me like that.
Ah, technically, they did.
They did have a right.
It's against
the law, you know,
to k*ll yourself.
You're kidding.
I wouldn't kid.
Are you kidding?
No, you wouldn't kid.
You wouldn't kid
about that.
Why would you kid?
su1c1de's a serious thing.
sh*t, no.
I never lied to
you before, have I?
No.
See? Actually, the laws
vary from state to state.
But su1c1de is legislated
against in most of them.
It's all in the
appendix of my book.
Dumb law.
I agree with you.
I think it is very
presumptuous of them
to tell a person how
they can die or even
how they can live.
It's a dumb law.
It's a dumb law.
Sane people make
a lot of crazy rules.
Do you like me?
Sure.
Oh.
Well, I mean, I don't know
you very well, but...
Ah, you know all
there is to know.
Are you kidding?
I'm very superficial.
You said it.
I know I said it.
Leave me alone!
Are you rooming
here with me?
Me?
Yeah?
No.
No.
Actually, I'm in
the south wing.
Ta-da! The south wing.
That's where they keep
the dangerous ones.
Are you dangerous?
No. Yes!
No. Don't listen to him.
Actually, my father thought
I was very dangerous.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Your father.
Yeah.
And he put you here?
No. Kind of.
(WHISPERS)
I strangled him.
(SQUEAKING)
You mean,
like that?
Ah, no.
More like that.
I guess he was right
about me being dangerous.
(LAUGHING)
Yeah, a lot of doctors
have different theories
about why I did it.
Mother complex.
Father complex.
Feelings of inferiority.
Suppressed rage.
But I, and I alone,
know the reason
that I did it.
It was because...
He was so Polish.
(SOBBING)
Polish?
When I was a kid,
I was tormented
with Polish jokes.
Oh, you know,
"Who was Poland's
Man of the Year?"
"Nobody."
"How do you sing the
Polish national anthem?"
"You don't sing it,
you fart it."
"How do you
tell a Polack's
identification?"
"By the sh*t
in his wallet."
(SOBBING)
Kids can be very cruel.
What kids?
My father told me those.
He was always
teasing me.
He was a big,
loud, hairy,
sweaty Polack!
He was covered
with sweat. Always.
The only man that I
know who could sweat
while he was swimming.
And I could never have
friends over because
he challenged them to
a nose-picking contest.
And he always won!
Got a minute?
Sure.
The last straw came when
I finally brought home
my g-g-g...
Girl.
Uh, uh.
You know, before
I took her out
to dinner.
I knew I shouldn't done it.
I shouldn't have done it!
Yeah, when we got there,
he was just sitting down
in his favorite
sweaty undershirt,
drinking beer
eatin' chili with his
fingers, and watching
celebrity bowling.
At first he was
nice, you know?
We were talkin' nice.
And then, oh!
He was so stupid.
He said how he thought
that Moby d*ck was
a venereal disease.
I told him, in a nice way,
what a stupid idiot he was!
And then he told her
that he thought
that she was wasting
her time with a...
With a loser like me.
So, I put my hands
around his -inch neck
and I strangled him!
(GROWLING)
Phew!
We never went out to dinner,
needless to say, because
I strangled him.
(LAUGHING)
You say it like
you're proud.
Well, you didn't have
the courage to do it.
Stop it. No...
(SOBBING) Oh.
I feel sick
I feel sick!
When I was a little kid,
my mother left us.
She just left us.
I was a baby.
She said, "Bye! Bye!"
I have always
respected her
for that.
(WHIMPERING)
Do you think this country
will ever switch to the
metric system?
I gotta pee.
A hundred percent
of all new arrivals
have to pee.
Don't get up.
It's too soon.
Ta-da!
I can't pee in one
of those things.
Do you want a bigger one?
No.
I'll get the nurse.
No, no.
I can't pee with
a nurse around.
Oh.
Oh.
Nine.
I can't pee with
the door open.
You know, you got a lot
of rules about peeing!
Yeah, I know.
(TRICKLING)
(TRICKLING CONTINUES)
Finished?
(FLUSHING)
Get out of here.
Mr. Lawson?
Yeah?
That's all right.
What?
Having so many rules
about peeing.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
He pees a lot.
Damn it, there's
nothing in there,
there's nothing
in there to stick or
shove or cut yourself.
There's nothin',
no way you could
k*ll yourself in there.
I know.
They're very thorough.
That's so stupid.
There's no razors.
Nothing.
There's new, new
shatterproof glass,
and there's no mirrors.
No mirror?
There's no mirror in here!
There's no mirror!
There's no mirror!
There's no place
that you can look
at yourself.
You can't, you...
There's nothing that...
To see yourself in.
How could they not have
a mirror where you can
look at yourself?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I wish you could
hurt yourself
somehow, you know.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You're a...
You're a fighter. No.
You're cold? Oh.
You're hitting me.
Ah, you're holding
your breath trying
to suffocate!
No, no, don't do that.
You know what happens?
You pass out, you breathe,
and then you get a headache.
It doesn't work.
(COUGHING)
See? Oh, no.
It doesn't work.
Aw, sh**t.
Aw. All you got is
a headache, right?
I got a headache!
I know,
I told you.
Oh, look, look.
This is an electric bed.
You could stick your
head right in there...
Wait a minute.
And cr*ck it like
a walnut. See?
Oh.
(CRACKING)
That would work.
You're not so crazy.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Tut, tut, tut, Marlon.
Tut, tut, tut,
Marlon.
You've been making up your
own visiting hours again.
Get away from me
with that thing!
(CHUCKLING)
You're to come
with me, Mr. Lawson.
Just think of it as
a Polish dinner jacket.
(MOANING) Oh, oh.
Don't, don't say
Polish to him.
He's very sensitive about it.
You shouldn't do that. Ah!
Ha! Gotcha.
Ah! Ah!
Don't hurt me, James!
Get away from me,
you little dwarf.
I usually escape every
Wednesday and Friday,
Mr. Lawson.
Sonny.
Uh. Sonny.
He's my friend.
Wait a minute.
He's my friend.
Wait a minute.
He's my friend.
Wait. Wait. Yuck.
NURSE: Home, James.
Watson.
Oh, Doctor, Sonny's
gonna try it again.
He likes to get
his way, you know.
Just set your mind
at ease, Mrs. Lawson.
These rooms were
designed to house
attempted suicides.
The windows
are barred.
There are no cords
or sharp objects
in the room.
There's constant
surveillance.
There's no way
he could possibly
hurt himself in here.
I see.
Oh. Oh, sh*t.
The bed.
Oh, my God!
(GROANING)
(ALARM RINGING)
Gentlemen!
Out with the old
dangerous beds.
In with the new safe beds.
Out with the old
dangerous beds.
Good to see you.
Sonny, listen.
I know that you're
suffering from depression
as much as your illness.
Now, when your
depression goes away...
Of course
I'm depressed!
I'm gonna shrivel up
and turn yellow.
Think the idea of
looking like an old
Jap makes me cheerful?
Just calm down, okay?
It's all right.
It's all right.
I don't want
to calm down!
What's he doing?
I don't want
to calm down!
God knows I've only
got a couple more
days to live.
Oh, that's bullshit,
too, Sonny. We spoke
to your doctor.
He said you're not
gonna die right away.
Sonny, why do you always
have to rush everything?
I don't want to
rush everything.
I think the courts
may decide very soon
that I'm not rational
enough to make
any decisions.
And they'll assign some
turkey like you to make
them for me.
I don't think that's it.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Sorry.
Ah, it's okay.
I don't deserve
to die, either.
I need to talk to
you alone, Jessie.
Sonny, I don't think so.
Please, Jessie...
Please. Please.
Uh...
That's okay.
That's okay.
Look, Sonny,
I'll, uh...
I'll... I'll wait
down here.
Listen, I'm your
friend. I love you.
I'll do anything for you.
I'll be your sl*ve.
I'll... I'll get you
girls. Oh, I'm...
I'm sorry, Jessie.
It's just...
It's okay.
I just can't
sign that release.
It's okay, Marty.
Just, uh, just wait
down at the end
of the hall.
And I love ya, Marty.
Down here? Okay.
Please, will you go in
the room with me, Jess?
All right.
Oh, hi. Hi. How's...
How's it going?
Hello. Good to
see you, too.
Wait a minute.
(ALARM RINGING)
I want to get
some more. Hey!
Hi. Hi.
How's it going?
Get me outta here!
I'm going wacko!
Sonny, I understand what
you're going through.
You don't understand!
You won't understand
until you've been
pronounced dead!
Well, I'm trying
to understand.
Well, you're doing
a lousy job!
Sonny, I don't want to
see you k*ll yourself.
It would be a burden
I would carry for
the rest of my life.
Don't you understand?
If I let you
take your life,
it would make my
life meaningless.
Tell me you
understand that.
Jessie?
What?
You're a selfish bitch.
Jessie, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You're just a wife.
You're not a selfish
bitch.
You are a sexist ass,
right to the last.
I know. I'm sorry.
I'm just trying
to be nice.
Just trying to be
nice, that's all.
(LAUGHING)
Sonny. Sonny.
Forget it.
We've forgotten how to
be nice to each other.
Well, we should
try harder.
We should try to be
nice to each other.
Let's try to be nice
to each other, okay?
Okay, okay.
Sign me outta here.
Oh, Sonny.
Now, come on.
I've had enough of this.
Now, okay. Maybe,
maybe I ca... Can't
imagine how you feel,
but can you imagine
how I feel?
No.
Sonny, listen.
Suppose I wanted to
k*ll myself, would
you let me?
You mean if you
were gonna die?
Yeah.
Of course I would.
You really would?
Well, you were in
a lot of pain.
Aw, Sonny.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(RAIN PATTERING)
No.
No, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't, Jessie,
I wouldn't.
Oh, Sonny.
Aw, Sonny.
Aw, Jessie.
MANEET: People tend to
coddle or cover up things
when someone they love is ill.
Makes 'em feel better.
SONNY: Screw 'em.
MANEET: Screw 'em.
Screw 'em.
One of the worst aspects
of dying is that
you're so alone.
Oh, God, you're
so alone.
So alone.
People are unable
or afraid to share
your grief.
They'll never be
able to imagine how
alone you are, Doctor.
I don't have
to imagine it.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm dying, too.
You're dying, too?
Yup.
The doctors told me
I can go any time.
Just like that.
Of course, they told me
that about two years ago.
You seem so alive.
Strange, isn't it?
I'm not always
this robust.
Right now I seem to
be in a period of
total remission.
Even played tennis today.
Did you win?
No, I played shitty.
But then, I also played
shitty when I was well.
(LAUGHING)
What, uh, what's
wrong with you?
Heart trouble.
Lots and lots
of heart trouble.
I'm not taking your,
uh, therapy group.
Some people in
my therapy group
are really close
to kickin' the bucket.
You're gonna love 'em.
I'm committing
su1c1de, remember?
You're sure having
a hard time doing it.
That's because nobody'll
leave me alone.
Either that, or you really
don't want to do it.
I want to do it.
I want to commit
su1c1de.
I'm in love with the
idea of k*lling myself.
When I think about
k*lling myself,
I get a hard-on.
I'm sure there's a part
of you that thinks of it
as a romantic notion.
But there's another part
of you that feels guilty
for taking your own life.
That's psychological
bullshit.
I don't feel guilty
about anything.
Then why did your su1c1de
letter to your daughter
begin with, uh, an apology?
"Dear Julie,
Daddy is so sorry for
what he's about to do."
Gimme that!
Son of a bitch!
I'll punch you dead.
Aw, sh*t!
Feel better?
No!
You don't play fair!
Stakes are high.
Life and death.
Want to punch the scale?
Yeah! No!
Yeah.
sh*t.
I mean, they...
They sh**t horses when
they're miserable,
don't they?
Ow!
You see, I'm
terrified of pain.
Pain hurts me.
Sonny, what makes you
so convinced your death
is gonna be painful?
Have you ever
actually seen
someone die?
Haircuts hurt me.
People should die at home.
Yeah? Well, that'd
be kinda difficult
with me. You see,
I mean, hustling
from my house to
my ex-wife's house
to my girlfriend's
house...
Hell, I'd be dyin'
in a taxi cab.
(CHUCKLES)
Are your parents
alive, Sonny?
No.
Yeah. They're alive.
I guess that's called
a Freudian slip, huh?
Either that or a boo-boo.
(SONNY LAUGHING)
Why don't you
come to at least one
death therapy session?
Just sitting around
talking to people
like yourself
can make death
less scary.
Maybe even meaningful.
I don't think so, Doc.
Okay. I'll let you
out of here.
But want you to
at least read a
pamphlet, okay?
Okay.
¶ You are my sunshine
Do, do, do, do, do ¶
(WHISTLING)
Oh. Oh.
Oh, oh, boy, I'll
tell you something.
You're the happiest
son of a bitch
I've ever seen.
Jumping up and down,
and whistling like that.
I mean, I'm gonna die,
you're gonna die,
and you're jumping up
and down and whistling.
I'm with you.
Really?
Yeah.
That's a good
decision, Sonny.
Now listen, you're
a great salesman.
Don't back out on me.
I'm not going anywhere.
Uh...
(GRUNTS)
Doc?
What did you
do to him?
I liked him.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(IMITATES BIRD CHIRPING)
(LAUGHING) Sonny.
Hiya, Sonny.
Hi, Marlon.
Hi.
Hi.
How did you escape?
Oh, oh. Yeah,
I escaped.
How'd ya do it?
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
I forgot.
Oh.
I always forget
a lot of things as
soon as I do them.
Yeah, well,
you're lucky.
About what?
About forgetting.
I know.
There's a lot of crazy
people around here.
(CACKLES)
Did you hear about
what happened to me
with the bed?
I heard about what
happened to you
with the bed.
(CHORTLES) It hurt
my head, though.
You shouldn't have
listened to me.
Out of the mouths
of Polacks ofttimes
comes caca.
Don't put yourself down
for being Polish.
One of my favorite
people is Polish.
Yeah, who?
You.
(CHUCKLING) Aw...
But it did hurt.
Good.
No. Not good.
I don't like pain.
I would like to find a
way of doing myself in
without hurting myself.
Oh, you don't want hurt.
You got a lot of
rules about dying,
too.
Yeah.
I always thought jumping
out a window would be
completely painless.
You know, until you landed.
Then it would be very painful.
One thing about it,
you couldn't change your
mind once you started.
No. Geronimo! Boohoo!
(IMITATES BODY HITTING GROUND)
Except all the windows
around here got bars
on 'em.
Yeah, they all have
bars except the tower.
The tower?
Hmm.
Where's the tower?
(MARLON CHUCKLING)
MARLON: Here it is.
The tower.
I love high places.
Yeah, I'm not
crazy about 'em.
Well, it's got
a ledge, huh?
Yeah.
Just like in the movies.
Yeah. It'll give you
some place to stand on
and I can cheer you on.
Yeah.
Okay, Sonny. Jump.
Don't be so anxious!
I'm sorry.
I thought that's what
you really wanted.
Well, uh, I am...
But... Uh, it just
doesn't seem high enough.
Oh, sure it's
high enough!
You sure?
Oh, sure.
Only one way
to find out.
Will you stop!
Will you stop!
I'm gonna do it,
I'm gonna do it.
I just gotta work myself
up to it gradually,
ya know what I mean?
You know,
you'll never get hurt
if you crawl down.
Don't talk to me
like that. I'm the
one that's doing it.
Okay.
I'm the one that's
gotta do it.
Okay.
All right.
You're very brave.
I am brave.
Okay. I gotcha.
All right.
Now listen.
Let me take a look.
Yeah.
Before I go. Okay?
Okay.
It ain't high enough.
What're you
talking about?
Sure it's high.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
It ain't high enough!
If I fall and I
land on my feet,
I'll break my ankles and
I'll have broken ankles and
a toxic blood disease, both.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, wait a minute!
(SCREAMING)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Wait a minute!
I've got an idea!
What?
Drop you on your head!
No, you drop me on my head
and you'll be a m*rder*r.
Oh, my God,
a m*rder*r!
Yeah.
What're you talkin' about,
I'm already a m*rder*r.
That's right.
You are a m*rder*r.
Are you sure you
want to take that kind
of responsibility? Huh?
Did you mean it when
you said you liked me?
I like ya! I like ya!
Then I want to
help my friend.
Okay.
Pull me in.
Okay.
Pull me in.
Then can drop you
on your head?
Yes!
Oh, that's good.
Okay. Here you go.
Oh, this is going
to be good.
Okay, now, let me
get your feet. Okay.
Just, easy does it.
Don't worry.
Okay.
Now wait a minute.
I gotta do this slow.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
I understand.
Don't... Let's not
rush into this.
(CHUCKLING)
All right. I'm here.
Okay?
I'll let you go
whenever you
tell me. Yeah.
I'm just gonna lean
back and then I'll
go, right?
Point your head down.
Point my head down.
Yes. Yeah!
Don't. Wait a minute.
Just gotta get ready.
Here I go.
Okay, Okay.
All right.
Let me know
when you're down!
Oh, my God.
No!
Shall I let you go?
No!
Uh, oh! Wait a minute...
Why?
Because it ain't
high enough!
Good for me!
It isn't high
enough! Huh?
Pull me back.
No.
Pull me back up!
I don't think so.
God damn it,
pull me back!
Okay! Okay.
Why did you pull me back?
Why did you pull me back?
You said...
I don't have
enough courage!
I don't have enough guts!
That's why you're here!
I can't do it by myself!
I'd be dead now!
If you hadn't pulled me
back, I'd be dead now
and it'd be over!
I'm a failure.
You said it.
Shut up!
All right.
Wait a minute.
I got an idea.
Yeah.
I got an idea.
Oh, please tell
me what, anything.
All right. I'll sit up here.
You get over there.
Yeah. I get over there.
You get running
like a bull.
I'll have my
back to you.
Push you!
You push me.
I'll go.
Oh. What a good idea.
Thanks so much.
Huh? Okay.
Goodbye, Marlon.
Goodbye. It's been a
pleasure knowing you.
Okay.
Okay.
You're my best
friend. Sorry.
Yeah.
I'm ready any time
you are, Sonny!
I'm ready!
Wait a minute.
I'm not ready.
Bless him, Father.
He was a nice man.
Will you come on?
Okay.
On second thought...
(SCREAMING)
(THUDDING)
You're right, Sonny!
It's not high enough!
They mate for life,
you know.
You're kidding.
Oh, sure.
I wish I was dead.
Oh, and you would be,
too, if it wasn't
for my dumb ideas.
Oh, don't put yourself
down, Marlon.
You're right.
Why waste time talking
about a piece of sh*t
like me?
Ooh! I almost forgot.
I got ya something.
Oh, a present?
A present for you.
That's very nice, Marlon.
You didn't need to do that.
Oh, I hope
you like it.
Very sweet. Uh...
You like the color?
Yeah.
Hanging.
Yeah.
And the beauty part
is you don't have
to do anything.
You just have
to stand there.
I'll do the rest.
I wonder if it hurts.
You see, hanging
is very simple.
It's clean, it's neat,
and it's very economical.
I mean you... You...
You don't spend any
money with the rope.
You see,
it' s just the
cost of the rope.
That's why these things
become traditional.
But I wonder
if it hurts.
(RASPING)
Marlon. Marlon.
Shouldn't you
have a horse?
What? Now wait a minute.
It's very simple.
(RASPING)
All right. What?
I just step out from under
you and you'll be hung.
Don't...
Don't ya understand?
(RASPING)
What?
(SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY)
Yeah. You wanna horse.
Is that what you said?
I said... Yes.
A horse?
A horse. A Polack.
What's the difference?
It's the same thing.
You wanna horse?
You got a horse.
(SPLUTTERING)
Okay. Just a minute now.
You'll be
hung in a moment!
Okay! Here you go!
Okay! Say goodbye
to Marlon! So long!
Oh. How are
you feeling?
Is that okay?
(MUMBLING) It hurts.
What?
It really hurts.
You... You're
resisting again.
You know that?
(RASPING)
(LAUGHING) You sound
just like Donald Duck.
(LAUGHING)
Wait a minute.
You're hurting my neck.
(GROANING) Ah! Oh!
Wait a minute! Ow!
Don't ever do that
to me again!
I was almost dead!
One more minute and
I would've been dead!
Let go... Let go
of me, you fool!
Don't do that!
Don't ever stop like that.
When you got me like that,
don't ever stop!
Do you understand?
Yes, I understand.
I don't think ya...
I don't' think
you understand.
I don't think you...
Understand.
I'm gonna have to
do this thing myself.
Marlon?
What is it, Sonny?
Goodbye, Marlon.
What?
Goodbye!
No, wait a minute!
Wait for me!
(EXCLAIMING)
I'm a failure.
You certainly are.
But not for long!
That man's nuts.
Grab 'em. Ooh!
Um!
(YELLING)
(SCREAMING)
Sonny!
Wait for me!
Come back here!
I certainly hope my
father likes it here.
Well, I'm sure he will.
He seems like
a very nice man.
Keep your hands
off of me, stubby!
Well, it sure
seems nice here.
Are there many,
uh, uh...
No, no, no. No,
I would say merely
mildly irrational.
I got one!
I got one!
I got one!
(CHUCKLING) Uh...
Mr. Petersen has one.
His expression.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(WHOOPING)
(SCREAMING)
Whoa!
(YELLING)
Whoa!
Holy sh*t!
Hello!
Oh, no! Go away!
Get off! Off! Off!
Off! Off!
Get off! I can't see!
Oh, boy!
It's a challenge.
Someone wants to
play chicken.
Ha, ha, ha, hoo!
Pull over!
Guts is part of
learning to drive!
Out of the way!
(HONKING)
(SCREAMING)
Oh, my goodness!
(YELLING)
It's a ramp.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(MARLON LAUGHING GLEEFULLY)
That was terrific!
Do it again.
Bye, Marlon.
Oh! Sonny!
Ah! Ah!
What's happening?
Oh! The Polish assassin
has just escaped from
that insane asylum!
He's very dangerous!
He's a k*ller!
What'd he look like?
He's wearing white pants,
white shirt, round face,
bald.
(GRUNTING)
(GROWLING)
Ohhh.
Free! The Polish
prince is free!
Sweetheart, can I
get you something?
You got any water?
Water. Uh...
(CAT MEOWS)
Ohhh. A ten.
Mary Ellen, if you're
gonna make glasses
out of jelly jars,
can you at least take
the jelly out first?
Never mind.
Honey...
You should be
in a hospital,
shouldn't you?
I'm not going to
hospitals anymore.
I'm not going anywhere
where they have any
control over your life
or your death.
What're you
looking for?
My clothes.
Where are they?
Here're your clothes.
I ironed 'em.
It's not my clothes
I'm looking for and
you know it.
I hid it!
(YOWLING)
You're never gonna
find it.
You're not even warm.
Ah-ha!
Exactly where I thought
it would be, hidden
under the cat crap.
I'm gonna call
the police.
Don't touch
that phone.
I'll sh**t...
Myself.
That's right, baby.
Put down that phone or
I'll splatter my brains
all over these walls.
Of course, on these walls,
who would notice?
Sonny.
You drive me crazy!
You put a g*n to your head.
You drive me crazy!
Mary Ellen,
will you stop?
You put that thing
to your head...
Come on, honey.
Help me off with my pants.
You drive me crazy.
Help me off
with my pants!
Sonny?
Yes.
I feel that maybe,
if I'd...
If I'd done
something different,
I don't know...
If I'd...
If I'd have loved you
a little bit more...
Maybe you wouldn't
be dying!
Maybe it's all my fault!
Maybe I caused it.
Oh, don't be silly,
Mary Ellen.
You can't give somebody
a blood disease.
That's a gift from God.
If I could've just
loved you a
little bit more.
Nah...
No, don't think you
could've done anything,
Mary Ellen.
Well, maybe if you'd
just come one time.
No, actually, you did
everything you could,
Mary Ellen.
(SOBBING)
No. You did everything
you could. I mean...
No, I didn't.
You did, you did.
I got more out of
the relationship
than you did,
with all my bitchin'
and moaning.
I got more out of the
relationship 'cause
I loved you.
I loved you completely.
And you never did really
love me completely and...
And I was always
fascinated by that.
Do you know what I mean?
No.
It's like me, I mean,
if you think about it.
I mean, think that's why
I just kept, you know,
hanging on and hanging on.
Doesn't that
sound like me?
Yeah. It does
sound like you.
I'll tell you something
else, Mary Ellen.
With all this sh*t,
all this sh*t,
you always turned
me on. Always.
That's something,
isn't it?
Yeah.
Well...
Doesn't that make
you kinda...
Understand a...
A little bit better
what I want to do?
I mean...
su1c1de?
I think I'm starting
to understand.
I do.
Maybe it means
I'm growing up.
I guess I've
just been selfish,
wanting to keep you around
a little bit longer.
Hell.
Sonny, you do what
you have to do.
You mean I can do it?
I can k*ll myself?
Aw.
Oh, baby.
But if you really
love me...
Oh...
Sonny, God, you
drive me crazy!
Always picking on me!
I can't do anything right.
I never can do
anything right!
I gotta go.
I can't let you go.
I gotta go. I gotta
go off somewhere
and swallow lead.
I have to tell you
something first.
What? That you
screwed some guy?
I don't care about that now.
I got a date with a . .
Who was he?
Was it that
guy on the...
Oh, my God,
don't tell me.
No, no. It's
nothing like that.
I have to tell you...
The g*n isn't loaded.
What?
I took all the b*ll*ts
out of it when you gave
it to me because
I thought somebody
was going to hurt
themselves.
Well, that was a
stupid thing to do.
You know I know how
to handle a g*n!
Ohh!
(LAUGHING WILDLY)
Shh.
Well, I thought
I unloaded it.
God damn, everything
you do is half-assed.
Oh, Sonny,
will you get
out of my house?
Just get out
of my house!
I'm glad I didn't
k*ll myself here.
It'd take six months
to find the body!
(CRYING)
He missed,
the chicken-sh*t.
MARLON: Sonny!
Where're you going?
Wait!
Ooh!
(AIR HISSING)
Ah! You dirty ra...
Oh!
You! I hope your nuts rust!
(MY WAY PLAYING)
¶ And now
¶ The end is near
¶ And so I face
¶ The final curtain
¶ My friend
¶ I'll say it clear
¶ I'll state my case
¶ Of which I'm certain
¶ I've lived
¶ A life that's full
¶ I've traveled each
and every highway
¶ And more
¶ Much more than this
¶ I did it my way
¶ For what is a man
¶ What has he got
¶ If not himself
¶ Then he has naught
¶ To say the things
¶ He truly feels
¶ And not the words
¶ Of one who kneels
¶ The record shows
¶ I took the blows
¶ And did it my way ¶
(GASPING)
Here I come, Lord!
(EXHALING)
(GASPS)
(HEART b*ating)
JULIE: Why'd Daddy do it?
JESSICA: Julie, shh,
Daddy's gone now.
But he promised me
he was coming back.
(HEART b*ating)
You promised, Dad.
I hate you for this!
I hate you. I hate you,
I hate you, I hate you!
Oh.
I wanna live!
I wanna live!
Huh!
Oh.
SONNY: I can never make it.
Help me, Lord.
Please.
I promise not to try
and k*ll myself anymore.
Save me and I swear
I'll be a better father.
I'll be a better man.
I'll be a better everything.
All I ask is,
make me a better swimmer!
Oh, God.
I can't do this to Julie.
We can't do this to Julie.
Oh, God.
Let me live and
I promise to obey
every one of the
commandments.
I shall not k*ll.
I shall not
commit adultery.
I shall not...
(PANTING)
I'll learn the
commandments!
And then...
I'll obey every
f*cking one of 'em!
Just get me back
to the beach!
I'll be honest in business!
I promise not to
sell lakeside lots
unless there's a lake around!
I wanna see another sunrise!
I wanna see another sunset!
It was a mistake, God.
I never really wanted
to k*ll myself,
I just wanted to
get your attention!
Help me make it!
I'll give ya %
of everything I make!
Fifty percent, God!
I want to point out
that nobody gives %.
I'm talking gross, God!
I think I'm gonna make it!
You won't regret this, Lord!
I'll obey every commandment!
I'll see my parents
more often!
No more cheating
in business,
once I get rid of those
nine acres in the desert.
And I'm gonna start
donating that
% right away!
I know said %, Lord,
but % to start!
If you don't want your %,
then don't take it!
I know it was you
that saved me!
But it was also you
that made me sick!
(GASPING)
(g*nsh*t)
No! Oh, no!
g*dd*mn!
(g*nshots)
No! Don't sh**t me!
Please, I want...
I don't wanna die!
Ah! Oh, no!
Oh, God!
You missed him, putz!
Will you stop it?
Hold still!
g*dd*mn you, Marlon!
Don't sh**t me!
(CLICKING)
It's empty!
You silly
son of a bitch!
What's the matter?
You could've k*lled me!
I know!
You could've sh*t me!
Yes!
You fat,
round Polack!
Oh, Sonny, you're the...
You're so mean!
You son of a g*n!
You're so...
You fink!
I'm trying to help you
and all you do is yell
at me foul names!
Up yours!
I'm not mad anymore!
I had a flat tire.
Gee, it was hard
to find you!
Did you have a nice swim?
You know what?
I missed you!
And I'm so sorry...
(SCREAMING)
Wait! Sonny, wait!
I don't want to die!
Do you understand me?
You gotta stop trying
to k*ll me!
Do you understand me?
I understand.
I don't think you do!
I do.
The doctor was
right about me!
That's why
I couldn't do it!
'Cause I really
don't wanna die!
But what about your
fears and your pain?
I promised
to help you
end all that.
Will you forget about that?
I don't think it's in
your best interest.
I don't care what
you think!
(SOBBING) You don't
like me anymore.
I like you, Marlon.
I like you.
I really do.
You do?
I do.
(CHUCKLES)
But you gotta understand.
Tell me you understand.
(EXHALES) I understand.
I love you, Sonny.
I really do.
I love you, too, Marlon.
I love you, Sonny.
I love you, too, Marlon.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(WHOOPING)
Surprise!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Help! God!
Make me a better runner!
Wait for my Kn*fe.
Fifty percent, God!
Remember when
I said %?
I'll give you , God.
I'll give you %!
Gross!
Eighty percent gross!
¶ Here's another fine
mess I'm into, honey
¶ They won't cut me loose
Not for love nor money
¶ I'm a fighter but
they've got me
on the floor
¶ Don't believe
I'm gonna take
this anymore
¶ Here's another fine mess
I've stumbled into
¶ As sorry a state
as I've ever been to
¶ Though it's difficult
for some to understand
¶ I'm gonna knuckle down
and take it like a man
¶ Wave goodbye
¶ Don't try to talk
What's there to say?
¶ The words are unimportant
¶ It's the feelings
we remember anyway
¶ Just wave goodbye
¶ Don't make a scene
Just let it go
¶ Don't smuggle love and glory
Put an ending to our story
¶ We're riding for
that final roundup
¶ So this is where
the oak trail wound up
¶ Here's another fine mess
And not my choosin'
¶ We loved for a while
You can't call that losin'
¶ If I knew our love
was gonna end this way
¶ Why, I'd relive it and
I wouldn't change a day
¶ Now here's another
fine mess ¶
End, The (1978)
Moderator: Maskath3