01x06 - Blast from the Past

[bunniefuu]

Welcome to Dino-Drive, guys.

You wanna learn about Earth's history?
This is the place.

Sorry. My bad.
Hey, you can bump that out!

Sorry I'm late, guys.

Did I miss anything?

No. I'd say you hit just about
every car in the lot.

As you'll see, many of the animals
replicated here are from the Jurassic Era.

Which means they are
over million years old.

Heh, we've been around for
over billion years.

Much has been learned
about dinosaurs from the bones!

Especially those found in ancient tar pits.

Many scholars speculate that
despite of their massive size,

dinosaurs were capable of moving
with tremendous speed and grace.

If you ask me, dinosaurs move with
more grace than some Autobots.

Very funny.

Your dinosaurs were pretty big.
For an organic life form.

True, but they were
not known for their intellect.

A dinosaur would be no mental match
for an XL- processor such as mine.

Oh, can this one fly?

Oops.
- No match for an XL- processor...

No match for an XL- processor...

XL- processor, how primitive.

My captor obviously possesses
the means to manufacture robotics.

But clearly nothing of the scale
I shall require for my own robotic body.

Dinosaurs were capable of moving
with tremendous speed and grace.

Besides the valuable information
dinosaur bones provided,

fossils also gave way to fossil fuels,
which today, power our automobiles.

Huh, I cannot believe
I programmed you

with such simplistic information,
everyone knows this.

Oh, but I did not.
- Well, everyone but you.

You-you spoke?

Where- where am I?
- You're in my lab,

in the city of Detroit, on the planet Earth
and... it is a long story.

Since it does not appear
that I will be going anywhere soon,

I have plenty of time for a long story...

And so, that is how I found you,
and how your friends became heroes.

The Autobots are your friends, right?

Oh, we have quite a history.

I have always worried about
what they would do if they discovered

where my robotics knowledge
really came from.

And that I have been
keeping you a secret.

I supposed now I have no choice
but to tell them the truth.

No!

Rather.. I'm certain
they will be more receptive

to your borrowing
of their robotic technology.

If they first see that you've
repaired their dear old friend,

until then, er, we should simply
keep my existence your little secret.

In the meantime, perhaps
I can lend a hand, so to speak,

so you may restore
these magnificent fleet-footed,

and extremely powerful creatures.

No. You must move
like a gentle wind. Observe.

Gentle wind?

You'll be lucky to get him down
to an omega class solar storm!

Move like the wind!

Nice, Prowl. Maybe next you can
teach an engine block to float.

They are wonderful!

The Autobots will be most surprised by my-
er, our latest robotic creation.

Ooh, our little secret!

Oh they'll be surprised, all right.

And the three of you
will be perfect prototypes for...

my future army of att*ck drones!

This island will be
the ideal place to train you.

Quiet, peaceful and..
nothing around for you to damage.

Watch and learn. Assess the situation,
choose your move.

Execute with graceful precision.
Now you try.

Assess the situation.
Choose my move.

Execute with graceful precision!

Oops.

Utilizing state-of-the-art robotics,

I now bring Dino-Drive
into the nd century.

I give you... the Dinobots!

Very convincing.
- That's amazing!

You primitive life forms
are so easily entertained.

Perhaps you'll find what I have in store
even more entertaining.

Um... no need to panic, just a little glitch.
Nothing I can't fix.

Bulkhead, a little help?

Assess the situation.
Choose my move...

Bulkhead, let's get it in gear!

Assess the situation, choose my move,
execute with graceful-!

If this is your best, then
you Autobots truly are pathetic.

Bumblebee, how about a little electricity
to go along with my magnetism?

Gotcha! We create an electromagnetic pulse,
and shut 'em down!

Whoa! This is new.

Hey, let me give you guys a boost!

That key... it is as though it
sense something in the Dinobots.

Something... Cybertronian.

I don't know what went wrong,

I'm absolutely certain that Meg- eh,
my assistant and I thought of everything.

I'll have to see what went wrong, take them apart,
plug the wiring and circuitry.

Isn't that a bit extreme?

Oh they're just machines.

The primitive materials available
on this planet are useless.

It will take countless solar cycles to create
att*ck drones capable of my needs.

And without more substantial
robotics for my own body,

my prospects are grim. Locked
in this prison of a lab.

Grim... Lock... Grim... Lock...
- So, the Autobots did not destroy you.

What did they do?

Strange, you did not respond
to my Cybertronian commands.

Yet you all continue to function,
almost as if you had.. sparks.

Me Grimlock.
- Then listen well, Grimlock. I am Megatron.

Your leader.
- Hmm, me Grimlock leader!

Obey me!
- Good morning, Sari.

Today we will learn the origin of fossils.
- Not you...

Which gave way to fossil fuels
which today power our cars and trucks!

Cars and trucks eat dinosaurs, hmm?
Cars and trucks bad!

Yes. There is your enemy!

They feed on your fossils,
they seek your extinction!

You must destroy them.

Destroy cars and trucks!
Cars and trucks bad!

And the only things
worse that cars and trucks,

are cars and trucks
that transform into robots!

Cars and trucks bad!
Car-robots worse!

Now look within yourselves
for your true power!

You have something deep inside,
waiting to come out.

Hmm, me Grimlock like, but how?

I designed you, and if you should succeed,
I will create an army just like you.

Now go. Destroy.
Destroy the fossil feeders!

Destroy fossil feeders!

How bad is it?

Give me that!

This is why I hate machines!

Don't these things ever learn?

Cars and trucks bad!

Apparently they learned to talk.

And a few other tricks.

So what're we waiting for?
Let's send them back to the Stone Age.

Wait! I- I was thinking maybe we should
lure them somewhere safer first.

Good thinking, Bulkhead!
- He said "good thinking".

And "Bulkhead"!

Judging by the view from
our News copter,

the so-called Dinobots seem to
have the Autobots on the run.

It doesn't make sense!

I followed your plans exactly,
but still the Dinobots malfunctioned!

I blame myself.

No, it is these antiquated equipment
I'm forced to use.

True, your planet's technology
is a bit prehistoric.

Mmm? Me Grimlock forget.

Cars and trucks bad...
car-robots...?

Worse!

Dinobots destroy car-robots!

You think this has something
to do with Sari's key?

And our EMP blast?

Something tells me
it's more than that!

Nice!

The Dinobots... their fire breath!
It was-it was in your design specs, you-

I planned it, yes. I wanted
a powerful body of my own again,

so I experimented, added
features to the Dinobots.

"Features"?
Plural as in more than one?

Please, don't tell my Autobot friends.

Oh, of course not,
and don't worry.

One day, together
we will rebuild your body.

You will be whole again, I promise.

Assess the situation. Choose the right move.
Execute with graceful precision.

Assess the situation!
- Bulkhead, what're you doing?

I'm doing what you do!

Better idea? Do what you do!

Excuse me.

Sorry, my bad.

Thanks. And welcome back,
big guy.

I was just doing what I do.

Uh, hate to break up the love-fest...

But we're getting the tar
kicked out of us here!

Tar... that's it!

I'm on it!

Dinobots destroy Carbots!

Destroy black stinky stuff!

Why black stinky stuff not destroy?

I can't thank you enough.

And again, my apologies for the,
um... glitch in their programming.

You call "breathing fire" a glitch?

I supposed I was overly inspired
by you Autobots and your powers.

I should be more careful when I try to
reverse-engineer alien technology.

So what will you do with them?

keep them in the energy cage for now,

then melt them down,
first thing in the morning.

Melt them?
- After all, they're still just mindless machines.

But I- I sense something.
A life force, a spark.

What if they're more
than just mindless machines?

That's an awfully big "what-if", Prowl.
But I think Professor Sumdac is right.

These things are far too dangerous.

Come on, Autobots, let's roll!

They do look kinda happy.
- Thanks again for your help getting them here.

And thanks for keeping it a secret
from the others.

The Dinobots won't cause
any harm here.

And with a little holographic trickery,
no one will even know they're here.

Do you really think
it's the right thing to do?

Just because something is big
and lumbering, and destructive,

doesn't mean you give up on it.

Cars and trucks, bad!
Nature, good!

Stupid nature! Come back
and fight like Dinobots!

Me Grimlock like!