02x38 - Hoist Goes Hollywood

[bunniefuu]

♪ The Transformers ♪

♪ More than meets the eye ♪

♪ Autobots wage their battle to destroy
the evil forces of the Decepticons. ♪

♪ Transformers ♪

♪ Robots in disguise ♪

♪ The Transformers ♪

♪ More than meets the eye ♪

♪ The Transformers ♪

Where's that guy going in such a hurry?

To his own funeral if he
doesn't drive more safely!

Step on it, Hoist!

What happened to driving safely?

Hey, kids!

You're ruining our sh*t!

We're ruining what?

We're sh**ting a stunt sequence
for a new motion picture!

This... was all planned?

All... but that!

Somethings wrong.
This isn't in the script!

Too far down!
We can't reach 'em!

How about our helicopter?

It'd take twenty minutes to get here!
We don't have that much time!

There must be something you can do, Hoist.

You bet your carbon chips, there is!

What a stunt! What a robot!

What did you say, your name was?

They call me Hoist.

What a name! Good job, Hoist!

Carly, look! Harold Edsel and
Karen Fishhook! Real movie stars!

Wow, Spike! This is so exciting!

You know, Hoist,
I think we can use you.

How'd you like a job as a...
well, what should we call it, uh...

vehicle robot?

Uhh Hoist can't... but I will.

But you're not a vehicle robot!

Well, I'll fake it! I'll fake it!

Just a moment.
I accept your job offer.

You will?

Hey, don't feel bad, kid.

Here, a couple of free passes to our
studio for you and your girlfriend.

Mayday! Mayday!

Mayday! Mayday!

Can't Dirge carry out a simple mission?

I think the answer is obvious.

Can't stay up any longer.
I'm going to crash!

Dirge! Report!

Can't move or transform.

I should have you disassembled for this!

- Me? But but I-- - Silence!

Its imperative that the
cargo remains secret!

Dirge! Shut down the rest of
your systems and remain still!

Astrotrain, Ramjet, Thrust! Get in here!

You are to rescue Dirge and his cargo.
Go!

Ready for my big scene, Mr. Director.

Huh? Oh, yeah, the robot. Er...

okay, Moist,
er...pick up a donut from the

catering truck and relax
until I call for ya.

Donut?

Are we ready to do this, boys?

How was that for an entrance?

- Tracks!
- Whats he doing here?

A bangup job at sharp
sh**ting, eh, Hoist? YEAH!

Ohh... everyone wants
to get into the act.

Sunstreaker: The star has arrived!

You don't want a star that
can't get off the ground!

I'll show you some real
Oscar winning material!

Spike: Oh, no.
The Autobots have gone movie-mad.

Carly: And the director's
gonna be just plain mad!

What an Auto-ham!

Sorry about that.

Well, my career was
enjoyable while it lasted.

All ten seconds of it.

Hold it, Hold it, Hold it!

- This picture is supposed to be
an action picture, right? - Tracks!

So we need a plenty of action.

We'll work it into the picture!
You're all hired!

You boys start today as
my new stunt vehicles!

Hey, boys, we're gonna be movie stars!

Cut!

Okay, Harold, take your position.

Action!

Oh, you brave, brave man!

I think I'll kiss you again!

Cut! Okay, Harold!

Action!

You stopped the crooks!
Oh, I could just kiss you!

Cut!

Okay, Harold, take your position.

Action!

You fool! You did this for me!
You deserve a kiss!

Oh, he gets kissed.
What do I get?

What is that doing in there?
I didn't call for a plane in my swamp!

Get the producer down here right away!

Uh...Listen, Hoist,
this crashing business isn't

exactly the kind of
acting I had in mind.

Yeah, my joints sound like they
haven't been lubed in a year!

Oh, and I got this
terrible pain in my neck!

That's nothing.
Look at these scratches in my hood!

What do you want me to do about it?

You know the director.
Talk to him,

and tell him we wanna do some real acting!

I'll see what I can do.

I got it!

We'll work the jet plane into the
picture by building a bridge around it!

Yes sir! Right away, sir!

Uhh...Excuse me.

Oh, Moist.

Look, we won't need you for a bit.
Go have a bagel and coffee, we'll call ya.

- Bagel? - Alright. Thats it!

Yeah, we quit!

Right! Tell them to find some
Decepticons to b*at up! Yeah!

But...

Perfect! We'll sh**t this sequence
tomorrow. Thats a wrap, boys!

I like what we did today,

but I can't help thinking we
still need something extra.

I don't know what's going on,
but it could be just what we need!

Roll Camera!

Flesh Creatures!

Quick! Destroy their w*apon!

This can be the ultimate w*apon
for defeating the Autobots.

But what does it do, Megatron?

Our clever leader doesn't
know what it does!

Insolent pile of scrap iron!

It has been kept locked up on Cybertron
in Wheeljack's workshop all this time.

It must be deadly!

Ramjet, Thrust!
Give me a demonstration!

Stand back. I'm going to
switch on the main circuit.

Some ultimate w*apon, Megatron!

Because of your bungling,
it was left to soak in that swamp!

It could take months to dry out and repair!

- Have you told Megatron?
- Not now, Astrotrain.

Told me what?

While taking the device from the swamp,

we were filmed by a motion picture crew.

If the Autobots see that film,
this w*apon will be worthless!

Yes. Prime will surely order Wheeljack,

to create a device to coutner this one.

We must get that roll of film
before anyone sees it! Now!

Tremendous! Astounding!
Oh this is too good to waste!

We have to work it into the picture!

But how do robots fit
into my action movie?

Well they don't fit in the old
script, but the new script!

New script?

Why yes, a great science fiction epic.

We'll call it "att*ck of the Alien Robots".

Get those stunt robots back here!
I don't care what you have to offer them!

Yes sir!

Oh no!

There.

Now this is more like it!

Movie stars, at last!

Okay, boys, here are your costumes!

Precisely, what sort of
character am I supposed to be?

Why, you're all evil alien
robots chasing after the girl!

All right, everybody!
Roll camera and action!

Help! The evil alien
robots are after me!

Never fear! I'll blast those bad
guys into the next universe!

Fall down! Fall down!

But his w*apon didn't fire!

This is a movie! We'll draw the
laser rays on the film later.

You know, special effects.

I don't believe this!

These monsters from space are
no match for Dash Jordan!

Monsters from space?

This bit is the pits!
I'd rather do the stunt crashes.

- What happened here?
- What are you looking for?

I'm missing several
scenes from the picture.

Someone broke in here and stole them!

Spike Witwicky: Who would want to
steal scenes from this picture?

Hey, how come this film is black and white?
I thought it was going to be in color.

That's just a copy.
Called the "work print".

That way we can keep changing it around
without scratching the original negative.

Then you can make other copies!

Why, you're right.
The negative is still in the vault.

I'll have the scenes reprinted.

Then maybe we'll find out
why someone took them.

Well, Starscream,

are you sure you got all of the
film with the Decepticons in it?

Of course.
I personally oversaw the operation.

Correction: The negative is still missing.

How was I to know?

I did what you told me,
I followed your orders!

I warned you, Starscream!

Wait! Why not just level the
studio, destroying all the prints?

I've had enough of you and your ideas!

Megatron! Don't! Don't!

I'm too valuable to disable...

Now get those Autobots out of the way.

And get that negative!

And I want it now!

In this scene, the evil alien robots
are being att*cked by the hero,

who's following in his ship,
which we'll film later.

Now, here's where you get your
chance to do some acting, boys.

You'll see some small
explosions going off.

They're nothing to worry about, but you
have to react to them as they were real.

All right, places everybody!
And roll, camera!

Tracks: I feel like a fool!
Sunstreaker: Do you wanna quit?

Tracks: No, but I still feel like a fool!

Action!

Oh no! It is Dash Jordan right on our tail!

Warpath: He is...no match
for the alien robots...

Warpath: I-I mean, the evil alien robots!

Alright, side explosions... now!

Set off the front expl*si*n!

My fender is warped.

Ah, shut up about your fender!
My whole chassis is smashed!

Sunstreaker, give me your hand!
I can't move!

I thought movies were make believe!

This is getting pretty dangerous!

Get me the names of everyone
responsible for this accident!

This was no accident!

Well, somebody is deliberately
trying to shut down production!

I want to know who it is!

Hey, take it easy. It isn't worth
getting this upset, is it?

Well, maybe you're right.

And we can use the expl*si*n in the film!

The lab just delivered this new
print of the stolen footage.

Maybe now we'll get a clue
to what this is all about!

Unreal! Those are Decepticons!

Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.

Now tell me what they're
doing in a movie studio.

But look! Thats gotta be some
kind of super secret device!

I'd better tell somebody before--

Soundwave! Duck!

The film!

Hey, wait for me!

What are we doing in here?

We've got to find that negative
before the Decepticons do!

I believe you have something
that belongs to me.

Here, take it!
Just don't hurt us!

I don't get it!
Why did you give Megatron the negative?

That was an empty film can. I took
it from the vault, just in case!

Surrender the negative.

Where are we?

On the back lot.
Some sort of a jungle set.

Wow! Do you think this thing is real?

Real enough to slow us down!

Hey, look at this!

Some sort of control box.
Wonder what it controls?

Hey, its those dopey Dinobots!

You mutant mechanoid!

If you don't watch it,
you'll join Starscream on the scrap heap!

Sorry, M-megatron!

Run! The Decepticons are coming!

Didn't you hear me? Um...

- Nothings real around here! - There!

Its not even a real motor!

This make believe world is
going to be the end of us!

- Now what are we going to do?
- I've got an idea!

They are there!

I'll get them, Megatron!

Dummies!

- and we just barely got away.

This is the film we're looking for.

Hold on to it and follow me.
Now do exactly as I tell you.

They're in there, Megatron.

Surround the building!
They must not escape this time!

Is this what you're looking for, Megatron?

You and the rest of the
Decepticons get out!

Or I'll drop them, and your precious
film, into this pit of flesh-eating lava!

An Autobot would never hurt a human!

You're bluffing!

Am I?

Maybe you'd like to follow them, Megatron?

The negative has been destroyed!

Decepticons, back to headquarters!

Boy, you sure scared the
heck out of us for a minute!

Theres no such thing as flesh eating lava.

This is the movies!

Amazing what you can do
with a t*nk of muddy water,

some air hoses and a little
smoke machine, isn't it?

That's what Megatron wanted?
Oh, brother!

That thing never did work!

I mean, if it had, I'd have taken
it with us when we left Cybertron!

Well, Moist--

Excuse me, but the name is Hoist.

Whatever. That was a fine piece
of acting you did back there.

I'd like to, work you in as the
leading man in my next film.

Well I- thanks, but no thanks.

My duty, as an Autobot, comes first

no matter how unglamorous
a role it may seem.

Yeah, you tell em, Hoist! YEAH!

Thats our tow truck!

We are with you! We are with you!