01x06 - A Hearse, a Hearse, My Kingdom for a Hearse

[bunniefuu]

You're still steamed because
I was a little late, huh?

Late? Were you late?

I really didn't notice. Well, I explained
what happened.

You don't owe me
an explanation, Jack.

After all, it is your car.

Anybody that minds waiting around
for an hour and minutes...

just shouldn't depend
on you for a ride.

That's a very sensible way
to look at it.

Of course. That's why I'm
not depending on you anymore.

Hey, you are steamed. I am not steamed.

For me,
this is Independence Day.

I'm not depending on anybody
for rides or anything else.

How are you going
to get to the beach? There are buses.

Drivers are a little fussy
about bringing a surfboard on.

You can't be really independent
without a car. Then I'll get a car.

You know, and if you did,
I'd have to drive it for you.

You can't get a license
until you're . Oh, men!

As if women can't get along perfectly
well without you. Come on. Let's tandem.

We can fight
when the surf's not up. I'm hungry.

Well, I'll go get you
a hamburger. I'll get my own hamburger.

You're gonna find out there's at least
one girl who knows where she's going...

and can manage perfectly well
without the assistance...

Oh! Why didn't you tell me
I was walking into a hole?

Well, I, uh... I thought,
if I warned you once,

you might start depending on me.

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

Independence. I've got it.
That's the big thing.

So I don't have wheels yet,

and I don't have a license to
drive even if I did have a car.

Petty details.

Sure is
a whizzin' wagon, huh? The end!

When you go in this baby,
you go in style.

All the way!

And only , miles, showing.

Sure wish I had the money
to buy her.

Is she for sale? Yeah.

King says he may sell her
before he cuts out for Hawaii.

- When's he leaving?
- July.

July?
By then I'll be !

Happy birthday.

Hi, King. Hi.

I was just admiring
your hearse. Feel free.

Can I talk to you about it? I'm listening.

Are you really gonna sell it
in July when you go to Hawaii?

Who knows?
I don't know where I'll be...

or what I'll be doing
tomorrow, much less in July.

But if you do,
how much would you like for it?

. Interested?

Have you got the bread? Not all of it.

How much? Well, um...

$ . .

See you around. But...

But... But...

But the . could be like
a... like a down payment,

and then I could pay you
eight or nine dollars a month,

and then pay the rest of it
in July when I get the buggy.

Hey, I'm not your friendly loan agent.
What have you got to lose?

I mean, you can keep the buggy
until you get all your money.

I'm not even sure
I want to sell it.

I kind of get
attached to things.

Listen, I'll pay you .

The extra will be
like... like an interest.

Okay. You mean it?

Why not? Wa-hoo!

Let me feel the bread.

. That leaves, uh...

Uh, $ . .

Hey, arithmetic gives me a headache.
We eat.

Oh!

Hey, you kids!
Get off my wagon!

Get off!
Go on. Go play.

Hey, watch out for that board!

You wanna put a ding
in my wagon?

The classiest buggy
on the beach... mine.

Now who needs who?

Of course, I'll be big about it.

At the wheel of this baby,
I can afford to be.

Hey, remember, $ .
does not give you title.

I was just getting
the feel of it.

Yeah, yeah. Well, look, we're on our way
to get a couple of nice, thick steaks.

Do you mind if I come down
sometime just to look at it?

- Maybe polish the chrome?
- Hey, be my guest.

A hearse?
You're buying a hearse?

- On the layaway plan.
- Very funny.

No, Daddy, I'm serious.

I didn't promise you could own a
car when you were years old.

I said you could drive one...
Mine... occasionally.

But then I'd still be
depending on somebody else.

Even with your own car, you'll be
depending on me to pay for operating it.

Oh, no.
I'll buy my own gas.

Gasoline is a small part of it.

Youth insurance is very high.

Well, I'm taking driver's
education at school,

and that lowers the
insurance rates.

Honey, I think I understand how you
feel about this, but let's be realistic.

How can you possibly hope to
raise $ between now and July?

Well, I can save some of it
out of my allowance...

by giving up lunch and
unessential things like that.

You'd save $ maybe, not .

Well, then I thought I'd tell
all the relatives and friends,

for my th birthday,
just to send money.

And I could work. I can babysit,
and... and maybe get a Saturday job.

Oh, Daddy, I can do it.
I know I can.

I've got to.
Please let me try.

- How old is this hearse?
- Oh, it's in beautiful condition.

It only has , miles on it.

- , ?
- Showing.

A car that old would be in the
repair shop % of the time.

If anything goes wrong,
I'll fix it myself.

You are baffled by the
complexities of a can opener.

Well, then I'll learn.

I'll take auto shop at school.

Auto shop?

I'll bet I can still
get in that class.

And then I can learn all about carburetors
and differentials and crankshafts.

And then I'll not only be able to take
care of my hearse, but your car too.

Think of all the money
I can save you then.

Gidget, this is ridiculous.

Even if I were foolish enough to go
along with this preposterous idea,

the school would never let you
enroll in auto shop.

The cooking lab is down the hall to your
right, and the sewing room is on the left.

But I'm registered
in this class, Mr. Walters.

This is auto shop.
Girls don't take auto shop. I do.

I only had an opening
for one student,

and that spot's been
filled by Francis Lawrence.

I'm Frances Lawrence.

Frances. With an "E"?

If you'd come
to see me first, I...

You'd have tried
to talk me out of it.

Mr. Walters, I want to learn
all there is to know about cars.

I'll work hard, honest.
We'll help her.

Sure.
She can count on us. Sure she can.

You've always been such a big help.
Back to work, everybody.

Back to work.

Young lady, you're starting
with two strikes against you.

To begin, apprentice to some of
the boys and try to catch up.

Yes, sir. All right.

Get into your coveralls. Coveralls?

Didn't you bring anything
to work in?

Tomorrow, coveralls.

Hi. Mind if I
start with you?

Well, maybe I do mind.
In my book,

boys should be boys
and girls should be girls.

Does it make me
any less of a girl...

because I know how to take
that... that carburetor apart?

This happens to be
a distributor. Oh.

How would you like me working
alongside you at a sewing machine?

You're prehistoric!

That kind of thinking
went out with bustles.

A girl can handle any job a boy
can, and I can prove it.

Not everybody's
as narrow-minded as you.

Aren't you going
to the beach? I can't.

This is the second weekend
you've missed.

I'm saving money. Besides,
I can't ask Jack or anybody for a ride.

What if somebody offered you a ride?
Didn't have to ask.

- Really?
- I'm going to Malibu.

I can drop you and pick you up
on the way back.

Great. I can see my hearse
and give King another payment.

Aunt Trina came through with
my birthday present in advance.

I guess some of the pressure's
beginning to pay of.

Well, let's go, let's go!

I'm ready, I'm ready.

Hey, Gidget! Hey, Gidge!

Have you seen King Mannix today?

- King took off for Acapulco last week.
- Acapulco?

- Well, what about the hearse?
- He sold it.

Well, he can't do that.
He sold it to me three weeks ago.

Some cat came up with cash.

King grabbed it and took off.
Zip. That's the way it goes.

That's the way it goes.

Wiped out. No hearse.

No $ . .
Nothing. And why?

Because I trusted another
slurky, undependable man.

- Don't come gloating around.
- I'm not gloating.

You know King Mannix
sold his hearse and split.

And I made a down payment on it.

Well, that's what he said.
He felt bad about it.

Oh, I'm sure he cried
all the way to Acapulco.

- When did you talk to him?
- Well, you see, Gidge, uh,

some of us guys got together and, uh,
pooled our dough, and we bought the hearse.

You're just kidding me.

You bought my

Now, don't get all shook up.
Shook? I'm shattered!

Of all the nerdy, tricky,
conniving things to do!

You'd have lost out anyway.
Mannix was looking for a quick buyer.

But this way,
since I own part of the hearse,

you can ride in it anytime you want.

Oh, I do feel so much better.

And you can quit auto shop since
you won't be repairing any cars.

Oh, you've got it all
figured out, haven't you?

Well, Mr. Collins,
there's one little item you've forgotten.

I own part of that hearse! Now, hold on...

$ . of that wailing wagon
is mine!

Well, I'll buy you out.
Thanks, but no thanks.

When you figure out who gets
to use the hearse and when,

just remember that little
Gidget is one of the boys.

Gidge, I know what a disappointment
this has been to you, but maybe...

So help me, Dad, if you say maybe it's
all for the best, I'll turn purple.

I appreciate the warning.

Now, I know this is not
a popular suggestion,

but have you considered the remote
possibility that Jack might be right?

That possibility's impossible.

After all, what's the point in
your going on with auto shop?

The point?
The whole point is, if I quit now,

it'll look like Jack
and the guys won.

Like they were right all the time.
A girl can't make it in a man's world.

Yeah, but there are other ways of
making it. I'll make it their way.

No special treatment,
no concessions.

Honey, you admit,
you don't know a muffler from a manifold.

If you flunk the midterm...
I've got it all figured out.

I'm gonna start doing a lot of
extra homework and catch up.

Homework? In auto shop?

Starting tomorrow, I'll start
practicing on your car. Wait a minute.

I just had that motor tuned.
I'm not gonna let you mess around...

Daddy, whose side are you on?

I wanna know right now.
Are you a man, or are you my father?

How could anything that's
so easy to take apart...

be so hard to put back together?

Jet "E"... Metering pin "H"...

Float "C"...

Why do dumb men have to make things
so complicated to begin with?

My cause célèbre was getting
to be something of a drag.

Much damage to the other car?
You're in my light.

Did you, uh, really get all of
those parts from one carburetor?

I work much better
without an audience.

Afraid I'll borrow some of
your trade secrets, huh?

I, uh, talked it over
with the other guys,

and they agreed to cut you in
as a shareholder in the hearse.

Fine. Well, sometime this week,
we'll work out a schedule...

When you get to use the wagon,
for how long and all that.

Oh, hi, Dad.
You remember Jack Collins.

Yes. How are you, Jack?
Nice to see you. Okay, sir.

Well, I've, uh...

I've been saying
I should do more walking.

Thanks for the vote
of confidence.

Do I call a mechanic
or a junk dealer?

Uh, maybe I could help Gidget
if she'd let me.

- I'm not asking you to help.
- I'm asking.

- Well, it is your car.
- That is right.

I'll have to have a larger screwdriver
and a couple of smaller wrenches.

Life was a lot simpler when Gidget's
homework consisted of math and history.

Can't you talk her into
quitting auto shop, sir?

The more I say,
the more determined she is not to quit.

Yeah. Same here.

Jack, I don't know
very much about cars,

but I've learned
a little bit about women.

They rarely accept a direct suggestion.
Yeah, I've noticed that too.

And when a woman clamors for
complete equality with men,

sometimes giving her exactly
what she thinks she wants...

is the surest way of convincing
her she doesn't want it.

Do I make myself clear?
Yeah. I get the idea.

From now on, with us guys, Gidget is
going to be more equal than equal.

Seeing those two guilty,
grinning faces,

I suddenly knew how poor old
Julius Caesar felt...

that day his buddies were
waiting for him in the forum.

Good morning, Mr. Walters.
Good morning, Lawrence.

I'm telling you. You're out
of your gourd. It was Loyola.

Hi.Hi.
Hi. No. Cincinnati.

They took it two years straight.
' , ' . In , they were runners-up.

Right, Lawrence? Hmm? What?

Who took the NCAA crown
in ' ? NCAA?

Loyola, right? Cincinnati!

Who cares?
Let's get busy on the hearse.

You two guys... the rear end,
tailpipes and muffler.

Siddo... wiring.
Morriston... distributor.

Lawrence, uh...
Lawrence, pull the battery.

Pull the battery? That's right.
Let's get with it.

Battery. Let's see.
That's somewhere in front.

The battery's on that side,
Gidge. Oh.

Excuse me.

Siddo. Ooh.

Don.

Tim. Jack?

Put some muscle in it.

Here.

Hey, Lawrence.

Check that tube out. Heads up.
You'll need this.

Ooh! Ow!

Probably this too.

Hey, what are you doing,
Lawrence?

Let some air out.
You wanna pinch the tube?

Hey, one of you guys slide under
here and loosen the fluid coupling.

Hey, you, Lawrence.
You're not doing anything.

Down on this. Under there.
Loosen the coupling.

Here, you'll need this.

Come on, come on.
Under here.

All right. Now,
get the coupling from down below there.

Hey, Lawrence,
what are you doing down there? Jack! Jack!

I didn't say to drain
the crankcase, stupid.

We made a fair start
the first half.

The second hour,
we'll really settle down to work.

That baby's really got
beautiful brake drums.

You see those drums,
Lawrence? Beautiful.

Chocolate shake. Yeah, I'll have a coke.

I'll have a malted. The same.

Uh, I'll have a malted.

Lawrence, you, uh, did all right this
morning, except for the crankcase.

- Get yourself a chair.
- Thanks.

In a week or so, we'll really
have you shaped up.

Then I can push your fair
share of work your way.

Great.

We figured out an ownership chart on the
hearse, cutting you in for your fair share.

Let's see.
You put in, uh, . .

Of course, till you're ,
you won't be able to drive her at all.

But on your th birthday,
she's all yours... every th weekend.

Every th weekend?

Well, that's not even
twice a year.

I'll be an old lady before I
even get used to driving her.

I'll still buy your share.
It'd give me - ths.

After what I've been through?
No, thanks.

Lawrence, you're dead game
for a little guy.

We better get back. Like usual?

Odd man pays.

Tails. Tails.

Tails. Tails.

- Ah, looks like your treat, Lawrence.
- My treat?

Come on. Let's move. You know how
shook Walters gets if we get back late.

Thanks, Gidge. Thanks, old buddy.

But wait, Jack.
I'm not sure. Thanks, pal.

Uh, I'm a little bit short.

Only cents.
Can you trust me until tomorrow?

Helen.

What price independence?

I've been fighting in the right
w*r, but wearing the wrong uniform.

Do you like it? Beautiful.

It is a pleasure to have
a girl around the house again.

Welcome back. Oh, thank you very much.
I like it this way too.

I mean, what's so terrible about
being dependent on other people?

I found that to be
a normal human condition.

I mean, women need men,
and men need women.

A very nicely balanced equation.

You know, Jack's going to be glad to
see you in that, after those coveralls.

Well, I... I'm not going out
with Jack tonight.

I have a date
with Mr. dreamboat himself.

What happened to Jack?

Everyone agreed that I should sell my
share of the hearse to the highest bidder.

And Jack got it...
for $ . .

So, for a while, he can't
afford to take me out. . ?

That's more than a hundred
percent profit on your investment.

That's what Jack
tried to explain to me.

But complicated things like high
finance are much too much...

for a poor girl like me
to understand.

I just take the money.

Good night, Dad.

Well, I was beginning to worry.
You're later than I expected.

Well, after the movie,
dreamboat couldn't get his car started.

Vapor lock. I finally
had to take care of it. Gidget.

Well, I had to,
or we'd still be sitting there.

Dreamboat was too proud to
admit he didn't know what to do.

It must've been great for his pride when
you picked up a wrench and took over.

A wrench?

Me pick up a greasy
old wrench? Blech!

I took care of it. I stood there
and wrung my lily-white hands...

and looked
devastatingly helpless,

and sure enough,
along came a nice boy and offered to help.

And in two minutes,
we were rolling along.

Aren't men wonderful?

Good night, Gidget.

Life sure is simple when you
quit trying to complicate it.

I'm never going to forget that no
woman is ever really helpless...

as long as there's a man around.

And she remembers she's a woman.

Good night.