01x14 - Gidget's Foreign Policy

[bunniefuu]

Hello. Welcome to America.

Hi. Welcome
to the United States.

Welcome to the United States
of America.

Welcome to California and our
home, and I hope you have a ball.

No?

Well, it's a nice thought, but don't
you think it's a little elaborate?

Gunnar Malstrom has been in business
in San Francisco for nearly two years.

Okay, but, basically,
he's from abroad,

and Inge's never
been here before, so I...

- All right.
- Have it your own way.

Oh, my gosh.

Gunnar. Good to see you.
Come in.

My daughter Frances.
Gidge, Gunnar Malstrom.

Hi. Welcome
to the United States.

I only come down
from San Francisco.

But I thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.
I mean, uh... You're welcome!

Where's Inge?
Inge.

Oh.

Inge, Professor.
Miss Lawrence.

Inge. I an honored.

And? Gidget. Hi.
Nice to meet you.

Is this all you brought
for a whole year at college?

Inge has simple tastes.

Good to have you here, Inge.
How is your father?

Professor Lindner
is in excellent health.

And he wishes to thank you
for your hospitality to Inge.

- I also thank you.
- Ah, we're delighted.

I'm only sorry it's to be
for such a short time.

You are kind.
Inge shall be no trouble.

I have provided her
with a schedule of studies:

English, basic economics,
international law, United States history.

What'll she do
for the rest of the week?

It sounds severe, perhaps,
but Inge is in America to work.

Well, she doesn't have
to start right now.

Come on in.
Have some coffee. Oh, as am I.

So, now back to San Francisco.

The import-export business
is very demanding.

But I shall return in a week
when Inge enters the university.

You have the schedule
and reading list? Ja, Gunnar.

Remember, emphasize economics
and international law.

These are basic. Ja, Gunnar.

Good. Inge and I are not
yet formally engaged,

but we plan for the future.

I regard these studies
as necessary for my wife. Yes, Gunnar.

Until next week then.
Professor. Miss Lawrence.

Toodles. Gunnar.

Is not Gunnar
admirably efficient?

Admirably. The guest room's
upstairs on the left, Inge.

If you'd care to freshen up,
we'll have something to eat.

Oh. Well, if you don't mind,
I think I begin my studies at once.

Of course.

Oh, here,
let me help you. Oh, no, no.

Gunnar says I must be
no trouble at all.

But I want to thank you
very much.

I'm... I'm very happy to be here.

Upstair... On the left.

I bet you I know what Gunnar
exports and imports.

Yeah? What? Slaves.

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

No. Absolutely
no more.

Are they too heavy? They aren't too heavy.

I consider that innuendo low, sneaky...
and all too accurate.

I'll try to walk it off.

Inge, would you take it easy today?
Enough is enough.

Well, Gunnar says
I must do my part.

Oh, sure.
Big Gunnar is watching you.

Gidget, in this house
I deliver the lectures.

Just see that Inge enjoys
herself, or else.

Oh, I am enjoying myself.

And when I get finished cleaning,
I will begin my studies.

Gidget can explain to me
about United States history. Good idea.

Just remember, Gidge, American
history does not include the Crusades.

Oh, sure, Daddy.
Um, I'll start with Abraham Lincoln.

He freed the slaves. Gidget.

Your papa
is a lovely man. It's a fact.

My papa's lovely, too,
but he's very strict.

"Inge. To be a woman
is to be useful...

To cook, to clean,
to be a help."

Yeah. "Help" is the word.

Pardon.

I mean, don't you
ever wanna have fun...

Go out with boys,
go dancing, go surfing?

Sometimes, but...
that's all decided.

Well, fight back. U.S.
history starts with a revolution.

No taxation
without representation.

If this is gonna be a day for
speeches, I'm gonna split.

Fine. But before you go,
say hi to a visitor from Sweden.

Inge, Mark Manning.
Mark, Inge Lindner.

She's staying with us until the
dorms at UCLA open next week.

Hi, Inge. It's a plea... Oh!

I'm so sorry.
Excuse me. It's okay.

She's a little shy.

Yeah. Clean though.
I like a clean girl.

Which reminds me, the surf's up.

- That's an invitation.
- Accepted. I'll go tell Inge.

Why not? It's a big ocean. I guess
there's always room for one more guppy.

Move like the wild wind.
I'll be back in half an hour.

Gidget, it's only that I cannot.

But, Inge, it will be fun.
And I'll loan you one of my suits.

Oh, thank you.
I have my own.

But I have also
to finish this studying.

I'll read here in the sunshine.

Inge, tell me truthfully.
Are you shy with boys?

Well, ja, a little.

I have known Gunnar
almost all of my life.

Well, otherwise...
My father's very strict.

But you've nothing
to be shy about.

As a matter of fact...
What with this and that...

You make me feel kinda shy.

You? Oh, no, Gidget.

You are...
a constant surprise to me.

You are so self-assured,
like with that boy in the kitchen.

Mark? Oh,
he's shaping up nicely.

I used to be shy, too,
but I outgrew it.

When? On my th birthday.

I said to myself, "Gidget, you're going
to be a woman eventually. Why not now?"

And then I went out and found a boy
I had a fight with that morning.

I told him how strong he was.

He just about passed out.

And then he gave me
his pet worm.

And from that day on,
I never looked back...

Except to make sure
that somebody was following.

But somebody is already
following me... Gunnar,

who expects I will be finished
with this schedule.

So, no swimming.

Doesn't Gunnar even
approve of exercise? Oh, ja.

So, swimming and volley ball
and surfing...

What do you call them? Fun.

Oh, waste. But he does
approve of...

"calisthetics"?

Ja. What you call a, uh,
Swedish jerk.

Swedish jerks.

I couldn't have
said it better myself.

My work was cut out for me.

Instead of knee bends to Gunnar,

what Inge needed, but fastest,
was exercise in swinging.

Being a seasoned practitioner of the
"never take no for an answer" philosophy,

I overwhelmed Inge's reluctance
with simple scientific logic.

Everyone knows that reading
light is best at sea level.

Oh. Now, you must let me
carry my things.

No, no. Uh-uh. Oh, but I insist.

- Inge.
- What?

- Oh.
- Inge, no.

No? No.

Well, I can carry my own books.
I am healthy.

Oh, they've noticed that.

Inge, in America,
everybody is equal.

But frankly, just to survive,

a girl's gotta be equal
to at least three boys.

Three boys? Let's start with basics.

You hungry? Oh, ja.

Okay. I'm a boy. Mm.

Ask me about getting
something to eat.

Could you please tell me where
I could find something to eat?

Oh, but I brought no money.

No. Look.

Just do this, exactly, and say...

I'm starved.

Okay? Ah.

Okay.

Oh. I'm starving.

And that was when Inge began
to learn the difference...

between being a girl
and being a woman.

Oh.

As a matter of fact,
she learned awfully fast.

As a matter of fact,
almost too fast.

As the saying goes...
Hands across the sea...

and into my wardrobe.

It's beautiful.
I only hope it will fit.

It fit. Oh, boy, did it fit.

As a matter of fact,
I sort of wished it fit me like that.

You know, Gidget, I think I
learned something about myself...

and something about Gunnar.

What?

Who could it be at this hour?

Hello?

Inge? I'll see.

It's for you.
It's Ben. What is it?

He didn't say, but judging from the
drooling sounds, he wants a date.

What do I say? I don't know.

The important thing
is to keep 'im off-balance.

If you don't wanna say yes,
say maybe. But never say no.

And tell him you'll meet him
on the beach tomorrow... maybe.

Hello? Ben?

Ja? Well, uh, perhaps I see you
on the beach tomorrow... maybe.

Well, perhaps today.

Yes, Terry.

Yes, of course.
It will be fun.

Well, of course I'm sure.

Ja. Tonight. It will be
delightful, Mark.

Mark?

Mark... as in my boyfriend.

So to speak.

All this for a picnic? We gotta make
sure we have enough for everybody.

For Arthur and Ben
and Stanley and Terry.

And don't forget good old Mark.

Inge, I'd like to talk to you,
woman-to-woman. Mm?

I've been noticing,
the last couple of days,

you haven't gotten
much studying done. None.

Gunnar will be mad. Absolutely.
He will "flap."

"Flip"? Flip.

He's not the only one.

As a matter of fact,
I've been noticing you and Mark lately.

Well, in honest truth, Gidget,
I do not know what I must do.

Mark is very attractive,
but, truly, he is yours.

Well, I don't have
a lock on him.

Mm. He is attentive
and polite.

But I do not know what I must do
if he throws himself toward me.

Wh... Oh, Gidget,
you are so generous.

I am? Ja. And so understanding.

Will you watch this
for a minute? Where you going?

I'm going to change. Change?

Hi, Gidge.

Uh, "Hi, Gidge" what?

Where's everybody else?
Uh, waiting out front.

Dressed like that? Well, not exactly.

Why do I have the feeling there's
something about this picnic I don't know?

Actually, Gidget, it will
be a very nice picnic.

But you will be
surprised to know

that I have never been to
an American amusement park.

Surprised?
I'm flabbergasted.

But I'm beginning to get
the point of the message.

So, you will go on
to the picnic with the others,

and Mark will do
this nice thing for me.

He's such a gentleman.

Like you said, Gidge,
she is a visitor from Sweden.

You know, we do want
to make her feel at home.

Right? Have fun.

"Welcome to America."

Some dope probably said that
to the Japanese beetle.

The articles
of the Geneva Convention...

suggest arbitration
to avoid hostilities.

And I was feeling
pretty hostile.

Inge was invading my territory,

using weapons supplied my me.

It was definitely time to seek
mature advice, counsel and... help.

Gidge, you're exaggerating.

But leave it to me.
I'll have a little talk with Inge.

It is so nice of you
to speak with me...

when I know you are busy
with many important things.

Well...

Oh, no.
Please, let me.

You know, it is so surprising.

You are such an important
man... a professor...

And still so very...
young, and yet...

Oh, how do you say?
A... A swinger.

Yes, well...

Well, I, uh... I hear
you're enjoying yourself.

Oh, yes. Everyone has been
absolutely wonderful.

And Gidget is a darling.

She even lets her
boyfriend take me out.

She is a true friend.

Her boyfriend,
Mark Manning? Ja.

Mark is very sweet.
Perhaps a little young.

I wish he were
a little bit more mature.

I have a weakness
for mature men.

But, again, I must not keep you.

I thank you, Professor.

Uh-huh.
Don't tell me.

She just floated by on a cloud
of Powers of Persuasion No. .

Who could have imagined?

She's probably
just having a fling.

It won't last long, I hope.

It doesn't have to.

An atom b*mb blows up
in one-millionth of a second.

I figure old Gunnar
will break that record.

He's coming back tomorrow.
I'd forgotten.

Poor Gunnar...
and poor Inge.

Hey. If anybody needs an
antipoverty program, it's me.

"Poor Inge."

Well, Herr Doktor,

you're the one who instigated this
noble experiment in emancipation.

And it just backfired.

I am afraid that the new Inge is
on a collision course with Gunnar.

I can sympathize
with your problem.

But remember, Gunnar left a quiet,
studious girl here last week.

Now... You're about
to say something?

No. I...

I mean, do I have an idea.

Gidget? Oh, nothing violent.

Just a nice,
quiet evening at home...

with Gunnar and Inge
and Mark and me.

Why, Mr. Malstrom.
Right on time.

I believe in punctuality,
Miss Lawrence.

Where is Inge? She's upstairs getting
all dressed up for you.

You know, she's told me
so much about you.

I feel as if
I really know you, Gunnar.

Really? She has?

Oh, yes. And I think it's just
wonderful the way you came to America.

And your business.

I didn't know
Inge was interested.

Well, actually,
I'm the one who's interested.

Business is such a man's world.

I don't understand it,
but I think your work is fascinating.

Why, I thank you.

And I'd just love
to hear all about it.

Vad ar det, Inge?

- Do you like it, Gunnar?
- No. What is this?

It's just me having fun.

Fun?

Oh, hi, Mark.
Come on in. Hi.

Uh, Mark, I'd like you
to meet Gunnar Malstrom.

Gunnar, Mark Manning. I'm glad
to meet you.

You two should have
a lot in common.

Mark is going to study
business administration.

Oh, please, let's not
talk about business.

Such a boring thing
to talk about.

Oh, I think it's fascinating.

Besides, what's more important
than a man's lifework? Yeah. That's right.

Why don't you all get acquainted?
I'll get dinner.

- It was a delicious meal.
- Yeah, Gidge. I didn't know you knew.

Well, I think a woman should
really know how to be a woman.

But anyway, tell me more about
the international trade festival.

- You are really interested?
- Oh, yes.

International trade is the businessman's
approach to international unity,

and its strengths derive from
its basic economic vector.

- Right?
- Right.

You know, we discussed that
in the course last week.

Cannot we talk about
something else?

Business bores me so.

Inge, it is my future...
Our future.

I am interested in what is happening
right now, which is not much.

Why don't we go somewhere?

Oh, no. Let's just
stay home.

Dad won't be back
till after the meeting.

Let's play some records
and dance or something. Fine.

Gunnar, I have learned how
to do all the new dances.

What is that?

Well, I thought we could try something
different, something quieter.

- A waltz?
- Why not?

- Gunnar, do you mind?
- Not at all.

I hate waltzes.

Oh. Well, lets's make a deal.

You play a record. Then I'll pick one.
We'll sort of take turns.

Gunnar, will you dance with me?

To that?

Uh, go on, Mark.
Mark's a fantastic dancer.

Um, I'll just clear the things.

I can manage by myself.

Mm! That's okay, Inge.
Don't move a muscle.

I can manage.
You dance.

That was good.
Crazy.

A waltz? Oh, I...

May I cut in?

Will you dance with me,
Inge? No. I do not like this music.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, I've got some dishes to do anyway.

You all enjoy yourselves.

- ...come on!
- Oh! Gidget!

How do you like that?

Stop that soap!

You want to help, Inge?

No. I want
to talk to you.

As soon as we finish. Just wait.

Wait? I am not something
that you own...

To wait for you humbly
until you have time for me.

She's right, Gunnar.
Go ahead. I can finish.

Absolutely not.

You stay out of this,
Gidget. I'm sorry.

Inge, apologize.

To her? I shall not.

That's okay.
I understand. You do not understand.

I will apologize to her if I want
to, but I do not want to.

Mark, I would like
to go out now.

You go right ahead, Inge.

What? Inge.

You are acting like child.

I apologize for Inge.

Please.

Let me talk to her.
Alone.

Inge.

I wish to say one thing only.
I am ashamed of you.

And I have one thing to say
to you, Gunnar Malstrom.

I will not marry you.

Inge. When I first saw you,
you were...

the most beautiful thing
on earth... to me.

- But you were a child.
- Just like Papa.

"Inge. Study, work, learn."

Well, I want to have
a little fun.

Of course.
But is that all?

Inge, I want a woman for a wife,

not a child
who wants only to have fun.

Look at Gidget.

She's quiet, pleasant,
thoughtful.

- And I am not?
- Exactly.

You are not.

You are a spoiled child.
No more. Gunnar!

Gunnar!

Relax. It's therapy time.

Now you will be
reasonable? No!

Ow! Gunnar!

All right. Now we will talk.

Ja, Gunnar.

And you will listen...
quietly.

Ja, Gunnar.

I think we'd better
leave for a while.

Yes, Mark. Yeah.

Look at that.

No pride.

What, Inge?

Well, I think she's right,
and I like it.

You somethin', Gidge? The other
night, I sort of saw you differently.

You were quieter, you know?
More feminine.

And I liked that too. Oh, yeah?

I mean, you used to
come on full of plans...

The "take charge" girl...
But no more.

I mean, a guy likes to feel
that he's out with a girl,

not... not a platoon sergeant.

Whatever you say, Mark. Yeah.

A man has to be boss.

Yeah. You're right.

You're the boss, mark.

And that was when I realized

I'd set back women's
rights a hundred years...

Exactly where they belonged.