01x19 - Painting With Squidward/Kamp Kow

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ Till milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!

Ahh! Ahh!

♪ ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling ♪

♪ You'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪

[serene music]

- Here we go again.

Well, Pearly girl, looks like it's time

for Kamp Koral's Annual Art Show.

We can finally take down last year's abomination.

I mean, uh, the winner. [chuckles]

- Blech! Poopy!

- Ooh, Pearly!

You put a little English on that pitch!

[laughs]

[clears throat]

Attention, campers!

Announcing Kamp Koral's Annual Art Show tonight!

Any cabin that's so inclined will have

eight hours to create a piece of art

that will hang on my office wall.

- [chuckles] - [burbles]

- I will be the judge, and may the best artist win!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[grunts]

- Art! [voice echoing]

all: Hmm...

- Ehh? - Uh.

- Art! [all scream]

[all panting]

This is my thing!

- Does your thing involve pain?

- Yes, my little fishes, the most exquisite pain of all.

Artistic pain!

Um. [clears throat]

This cabin has to win that art contest.

Now, let's see what you've got.

Show me your art.

[all panting]

[energetic music]

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Nice, um, flower.

- It's a sponge painting.

Like...

[giggles]

- Huh. Industrial art?

Soulless.

Hmm.

Abstraction?

- Indigestion.

I swallowed some paint and burped on a napkin.

[belches]

- [grumbles]

It doesn't matter that all your art stinks.

all: Aww.

- Because I'm going to teach you how to be great artists!

both: Wow!

- Though, not as great as me.

But you'll still be pretty good!

- Yay! - Oh!

- And what say you, Pig-casso?

- Uh... [belches]

[giggles]

[soft accordion music]

- First lesson.

A classic of art, the still life.

Apple, orange, banana.

A bowl of fruit.

[all murmuring indistinctly]

- Hmm.

SpongeBob, you really should only draw what you see.

- Bu-bu-but.

- Huh?

What the--out to lunch?

Huh?

[eating noisily]

[belches]

[chuckles]

Is there any more art to eat?

- [grumbles]

- Second lesson.

Painting from the model.

You may disrobe.

- [chuckles]

Ta-da! [all gasp]

Ha ha! Made ya not look!

- Would the model please pose and stand still?

- All right.

Don't get your knickers in a knot.

- Whoa! Ah!

[all panting]

[lively country music]

♪ ♪

- Wa-wait! Uh!

[groans]

- [grunting]

- Hmm.

- All right, that's enough!

You're fired!

- Well, so much for the glamorous life

of an art model.

- I guess I'll have to do it myself.

You may proceed.

[all grunting, chuckling]

- Ah! [both giggling]

- Pretzel.

Ow!

Huh, needs mustard.

Well.

Yow!

- [grumbles]

Your final lesson, sculpture.

A sculpture need only do two things.

Take up space--

- Wait, I do that!

Am I a sculpture?

- Take up space, and be pleasing to the eye.

- Yep, I'm definitely a sculpture.

- Today, we won't be sculpting from real life.

We will be sculpting to express our inner selves.

Open yourself up.

Let the world know who you really are.

Just as an example, I'll show you who I am.

- [grunting] - Huh?

What is this?

- [speaking gibberish]

[giggling]

- Hmm.

- What a revoltin' development.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oh.

Huh?

Whoa!

Ugh.

- [grunting]

- My inner self. My inner self.

My inner self!

Hmm?

Uh-oh.

My innards are outards now!

- [grunting]

- Ah! Huh?

- [laughs]

[belches]

Art!

- I tried to make them artists.

Neptune knows I've tried.

I just wanted to share a modicum

of my tremendous talent.

That's all.

- We may not be good at art, but I bet I can make

a machine that's good at art.

- A machine can't make art.

It has no soul!

Oh, it's over.

We can't win.

[moaning]

[somber music]

- Hey, what do you say we build a machine

and win this contest?

For good old Mr. Tentacles!

- For good old Mr. Tentacles!

- For good old Musty Tent Tickles!

all: Yay!

- [clears throat] Attention, Kamp Koral.

The art show will begin in a few minutes.

Artists, bring your masterpieces

to the Clampitheater.

- [hisses]

- [sighs]

- Counselor Squidward! We did it!

- We made an art-making machine!

- Ow, it hurts!

- Oh, is it artistic pain?

- No, you oaf.

You're standing on my tentacle!

- Oh.

- Now leave me to my misery.

- We're gonna turn your misery into ecstasy.

Now give me a hand, boys. Yah!

- [grunting]

[grumbling] [campers cheering]

- Welcome to Kamp Koral's Annual Art Show!

And now your host, Camp Master Krabs!

[cheering]

- Hmm.

- [grunting]

- What, no gravy?

Hmm.

Cartoons ain't art.

- Meep.

- Too "repetit-itive."

- Meep.

- Hmm.

- Here come our next artists!

[classical music]

- I knew this guy.

Didn't like him then, don't like him now.

And he owed me money.

both: Whoa!

- Still workin', eh?

- [giggles] Art!

- Aah!

Don't you macramé my baby girl!

- And now, for the final contestants.

Squidward's prodigies!

- Huh? Uh-oh.

- [groans]

Huh?

Uh, I don't get it.

Is this art?

- No.

This is the artist.

Take a gander! [grunts]

Well, I just feed it the raw materials,

and it makes an a*t*matic masterpiece.

[grunting]

[curious music]

[machine whirring, honking]

- [gasps] - Ta-da!

- That's remarkable!

It's beautiful!

A genuine masterpiece!

[all oohing] - [groans]

Oh, please.

Yes, technically, it's a painting.

But it has no soul!

- [babbling]

- [yelling]

[machine whirring, honking]

[energetic music]

[both screaming]

- Meep! Meep, meep, meep!

- [yelling]

[all whimpering]

- Hmm.

Well, since it's the only piece left,

I guess it wins. - [groans]

all: Yay!

[cheering]

- [groans] - Art! Yah!

- [laughs]

Art, with a soul!

[jaunty music]

[all laughing]

- Here it is.

The secret field I found

where no feet has ever set foot in.

both: Wow!

- This is the best

darn field for getting' lost

and found in! [both yell]

- Whoa! I wanna find myself!

[squelch] Huh?

- Hey! You stepped in a sea cow patty.

Ya know, it's good luck to be the first person

to step in one.

- It is?

- Yep--luckier than kissing a ladybug under a rainbow

on your birthday!

- [gasps] It's working!

I want more luck!

[laughing]

[squelch] Hmm?

Hey, guys, I found more luck!

[laughs]

- Save some luck for me to step in!

- [laughing]

- [moos]

- [laughing]

You had me at moo.

- [moos]

[both laughing]

[all grunting]

[all groaning]

- [grunts] - Huh?

I'm gonna call her Patrick.

- How about we call her Lucky?

- Huh? Oh!

You want some pocket carrots?

She sure has an appetite!

- Oh! I have pocket food too!

Um--

♪ ♪

[both laughing]

- [mooing]

[lively country music]

♪ ♪

- Samich!

Hey!

Huh? Yoop!

I love her!

[laughter, mooing]

- Yee-haw!

♪ ♪

Yee-haw!

[both cheering]

Got ya!

[grunting]

The sun's a settin'.

I think we oughta mosey on back to camp.

- Hey, girl, if you have any last-minute good luck in ya,

now would be the time.

[melancholic music]

- I'm really gonna miss her!

[sobbing]

- Good night, Patrick. - Good night, SpongeBob.

- Great Neptune! What's that horrible smell?

- I forgot to wash the luck off my feet!

[giggling] Stop it.

No, I can't take it.

[slurping]

Huh?

[screams]

Lucky, you found me!

- Ooh, me next!

[giggling]

- Ee-yah! Oh, that smell!

[both laughing]

What is that filthy beast doing here?

She has got to--

[soft music swells]

Go.

[clarinet squeaking] - Oh, that noise

is driving me bonkers.

- [wailing] - Now look what you did.

Here, honey.

[toy honks] - [giggling]

- Ah, that's much better.

- Don't worry, girl, there's plenty of art to eat.

How 'bout some soup?

[jaunty music]

♪ ♪

[grunting] Here ya go!

- [gasps] Unbelievable!

- Yeah, somebody actually likes Squidward's art.

- Ooh! - [laughs]

- Let's show Lucky around camp.

- [chuckles] Come on.

Show me what you got.

♪ ♪

[Lucky grunts] Huh?

- [moos]

- You think you can do better, cow bro?

Take your best sh*t.

I love that cow!

- But rocks can break that window yonder softly.

It is the weast, and Juliet is the sun.

[all cheering]

[grunting, groaning]

- Oh, the sun is heavy!

- I gotta say, our little ol' sea cow

ain't so little anymore.

Maybe we oughta stop filling her gullet.

- Nah, now there's more Lucky to love!

- Ew. What's that smell?

[grunting]

[squelch] Huh?

Ew!

- You stepped in good luck, Camp Master Krabs!

- Oh, I gotta be next for stepping in good luck.

I just gotta be.

- Huh? Hey, that's my hat!

What's wrong with her eyes?

Hey!

Maybe I'll just make her tonight's blue plate special.

[all gasp]

- Wait, she's great at eating weeds.

- And giving us good luck and cow kisses.

- And free milk.

- Free?

Welcome our new camp cow!

all: Whew!

- That's the last of it, sweetie.

[both scream]

- What happened?

- She wanted a midnight snack.

- You've been feeding her all night?

- Eh...

- Whoa. She's too big.

How will we get her out of here?

Begin phase one of Operation Lucky lift!

Okay, Sandy, phase two!

- Let's see how you like my Pie High in the Sky

Double Blimp Bubble Gum!

- Phase three!

Blow, Lucky, blow!

[soft classical music]

- [moos]

- And phase four.

Patrick pulls Lucky gently to the ground.

- [grunting]

Whoa!

- Hang on, Patrick!

- [yelling]

- Whoa!

- Lucky! - Uh-oh!

[jaunty music]

- Hey, look, the cow jumped over the moon. [giggles]

♪ ♪

- Your cow ate my stock certificates!

- She also ate my unmentionables!

- Has anyone seen Harvey?

- Good thing I always camp with my feather pillow.

- Take that cow back to where you found her!

- Fine!

She's obviously too sophisticated

for this camp anyway.

- [belches]

- Come on, Lucky. Huh!

Bye, Lucky.

Stay sweet.

- And I never even got to dip my tootsies in your good luck.

- I'm sorry, Lucky, but it's for your own good.

[both sigh]

[soft melancholic music]

[rumbling] - Huh?

[dramatic music]

Uh-oh, she's following us. - Ah!

We gotta lose her! - Let's run!

[all panting]

- Not towards camp!

This-a way!

♪ ♪

- [gasps] all: Jump!

Whoa!

- Huh?

Get this cow out of my camp!

Push!

- Let's flip her on her flippers!

[all grunting]

[soft classical music]

♪ ♪

all: Huh?

Wha?

- Hmm. Hmm!

- Ah! - Hey!

- Thanks for all the milk, Lucky.

[wet fart]

It's all yours, buddy!

- Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Get in there!

[squelch] - [giggling]

Finally!

I'm never washing this foot again!