01x03 - Whatever Happened to the Old Songs?

[bunniefuu]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ The five of us ♪

♪ And Mom working all day ♪

♪ We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪

♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ?♪

Children.

Well, I double-checked
everything.

The bus is loaded
and ready to go,

oh, except
for the costumes.

Good. I want to get
an early start tomorrow,

so I want everyone to make sure

your costumes are pressed
tonight, okay?

Chris went through the seat
of his pants again.

Why are you the only one
that does that?

It's because
I'm the drummer.

I didn't know
he played the drums

with that part of him.

He doesn't.

It only sounds like it.

I bounce
up and down a lot.

I guess I'll have to sew it up.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HORN HONKING]

Keith!

Hey, Grandpa!
Hah-hah!

Hey, Grandpa!

Oh, Grandpa.

Hi, Grandma.

Dear.

Dad! Oh, Dad!

Hi, Grandma.

What are you
doing here?

Why didn't you phone?

Came on an impulse.

Got in my new toy here

and took off.

Didn't even tell Amanda
where we were headed.

You think
I would've climbed

into this sardine can
if you had?

Grandma, are you
feeling all right?

Your face looks funny.

Well, your face'd
look funny

if you drove
miles non-stop

with a maniac
at the wheel.

Non-stop?

That fool thinks
he's Barney Oldfield.

BOTH: Who?

Don't ask me.

Before my time.

Mom, come on out of there.

You'll feel
a lot better

after you have
something to eat.

I'm not sure that I can, dear.

Boys, help Grandma
out of the car.

What happened
to your DeSoto, Grandpa?

Put her out to pasture.

Decided I wanted something
more fitting my personality.

In that case,
you should've bought a scooter.

Why a scooter, Grandma?

Your grandfather had a birthday
last week, honey.

He became a five-year-old.

[♪♪♪]

Bet you thought I'd be lousy,
didn't ya?

Wow, that was
a wild sound.

Fred, why don't you play
"Bye-Bye, Blackbird"?

Oh, these kids don't want
to hear that old chestnut.

We've gotta keep up
with the times.

Who do you think you are?

Elvis Preston?

What do you want
to play, Granddad?

Oh, how about the song
you were playing?

You all start,
and I'll jump in.

Are you sure
you know that one?

I'll fake it.

Okay, let's do it.

All right.

I'll-- I'll do my thing.

Is that what you call it?

Right.

Okay, there are
the lyrics.

Oh.

♪ Isn't it time you tell me
Am I losing my touch♪ ♪

♪ The hurt you put on me, girl
Is more than enough ♪

♪ You were so good to me, girl
Needed you to go on ♪

♪ We had ourselves a good thing
Is it over and done ♪

♪ I need some time to think ♪

♪ Get myself together again ♪

♪ Time to think
I got to get on my feet again ♪

♪ The woman I used to love
Ain't the woman I see today ♪

♪ The woman I see today ♪

♪ Ain't the woman
Who used to stay ♪

♪ Baby, I love you
Oh, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Baby, I love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Hey, baby, I love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Baby, I love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Baby, I love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And, baby, I love you ♪

♪ Baby, I love you ♪

[VOICE CRACKING] ♪ Baby, I love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ I love you ♪

[GRANDFATHER ONLY]
♪ Oh, baby, I love you ♪

Oh, Dad!

Hey, he really sings good.

Hey, you really mean it?

Well, of course he does.

That was
really heavy, Granddad.

"Heavy"?

Is that good?

The best.

My song
never sounded better.

That mandolin
really adds something.

Hey, maybe Granddad
should join the act.

GRANDDAD: Oh, let's not
get carried away.

Why not?

He's a part
of the family.

Sure. How about it,
Granddad?

Want to come
on the road with us?

See your name
up in lights?

Yeah.
That might be heavy.

I really don't know what to do
with him, Shirley.

Honestly, he's turned
quite eccentric.

Eccentric?

Did you know he wanted to throw
himself out of an airplane?

Mom, you mean su1c1de?

Oh, no, he tried to join

a skydiving club.

It was after that

that he grew
all that hair on his face,

and bought the sailor pants.

Oh, he'd walk
around the neighborhood

gotten up
in that Bohemian outfit,

saying, "Keep the faith, baby,"

with people
we'd known for years.

Doing foolish things.

Trying to be young.

He goes around acting
as if he's .

It's not funny.

You know what he gave me

for our th
wedding anniversary?

A miniskirt.

Oh, Mom.

Did you wear it?

Of course not.

One fruitcake in the family
is enough.

Yeah, it must be some life
out on the open road,

ready for anything
the world has to offer.

Free as a bird.

I've always wanted to be
in the show business, you know?

In my blood.

Why didn't you go
into it, Grandpa?

Landed up
in the plumbing business.

Was that in your blood too?

No, son.
I never really took to it.

Hey, Danny.

Tell me about the applause.

What is it
really like to hear, huh?

It's nice when people
show they like your work.

It's like saying thank you
for entertaining them.

Yeah.

Heady stuff. Heady stuff.

Didn't anyone ever thank you
after you unplugged a pipe?

Oh, sure,

but they never exactly
crowded into the bathroom,

stomped up and down
with their feet

and yelled for an encore.

Just once,
I'd like to experience that.

You certainly have the talent.

You're just not saying that
to make me feel good?

No.

In my business,
either you got it or you don't.

You got it, Grandpa.

Oh, Danny boy.

[HORN HONKING]

Dad, what are you
doing here?

I came to join the act.

What?

Well, you--

you said that there was
a spot open for me.

Well, I've decided
to take it.

Where's Mom?
I've left

your mother, Shirley.

Left her?

The marriage
just wasn't working out.

Dad, you've been married
for years.

Then was then and now is now.

She was trying to make
an old man out of me.

But, Dad--

I don't want
to talk about it.

From now on,
it's a whole new life.

Well, come on.

Let's get the show on the road.

Well, we have
to do something.

We can't just
hurt his feelings.

We could sabotage
his mandolin.

What good would that do?

I don't know,

but I bet mandolin parts
are hard to get around here.

Look, let's not panic.
I'm sure--

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Oh, yes. Put her on.

It's Grandma.

Mom?

Yes, he's here.
Do you want to speak to him?

Of course I don't.

I just want to find out
if he got there

without cracking
his fool head in.

Mom, what's this all about?

He wanted me
to go to Hawaii with him.

Well, what's so bad about that?

He wanted to go
in a -foot sailing boat.

We exchanged
some cross words,

and at the end,
he packed up all of his things,

and said he was running off
to join the show business.

Look, Mom,
I wouldn't worry too much.

We have a long line
of one-night stands ahead of us,

and I'm sure after a few days
of roughing it on the road,

he'll be glad to come home.

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"TOGETHER HAVIN' A BALL" PLAYS]

♪ Everybody's going places
Doing things ♪

♪ Look at all
The smiling faces sing ♪

♪ Having a ball ♪

♪ Doing a number ♪

♪ Having a ball ♪

♪ Getting it on ♪

♪ Together, together, together
Having a ball ♪

♪ Together we're having a ball
Having a ball ♪

♪ Together we're having a ball ♪

♪ Town to town we've found
The sound that's happening ♪

♪ And what we've found
Is what we play and sing, yeah ♪

♪ Having a ball ♪

♪ Just doing a number ♪

♪ Having a ball ♪

♪ Just getting it on ♪

♪ Together, together, together
Having a ball ♪

♪ Together we're having a ball ♪

♪ Yeah, having a ball
Together ♪

♪ Yeah, having a ball
Together ♪

♪ Yeah, having a ball
Together ♪

♪ Yeah, having a ball
Together ♪

♪ Yeah, having a ball
Together ?♪

You know, I don't think
your plan's working.

Grandpa seems to be
having a ball.

Yeah, what are we gonna do
when he wants to perform?

Well, he hasn't mentioned
the idea lately.

Maybe he's given it up.

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

I'm ready.

I realize that I'm a, uh,
raw and untested talent,

and I have no desire to stand up
and make a horse's--

uh, make a fool of myself.

So what I need

is a cold, professional opinion.

But what happens
if they don't like you?

Well, I'll--

I'll be disappointed,
of course,

but I'll just have to
take their word.

I mean...
if I'm gonna be an entertainer,

I want to be a good one,

and not someone
who you're having to carry

because of, uh, nepotism.

What's nepotism?

Liking me
because I am your grandfather.

I like you even if
you weren't my grandfather.

Does anyone know someone
who could look at my work?

Um, yes, Dad.

I think we do.

Oh, good.

I'll audition
tomorrow afternoon

and find out if I have
a future in this business.

Come on, kids.

Let's go get
some ice creams, huh?

Come on. Come on.

I don't believe it.

We're off the hook.

I think so.

Get Reuben on the phone.

[SINGS "POINT ME IN
THE DIRECTION OF ALBUQUERQUE"]

♪ Point me in the direction
Of Albuquerque ♪

♪ I need to get home ♪

♪ Need to get home ♪

What's the verdict?

I think it's the best thing
I ever heard, Mr. Renfrew.

Absolutely sensational.

That good?

It's beautiful.

It's, uh, so campy.

The audience'll eat it up.

Oh, how can anyone resist
the grandfather of the group

trying to split
the generation gap?

Pure camp.

Then you think
I should open tonight?

Mr. Renfrew,
you can't miss.

Are you serious
about that?

How could you do
something like that?

Wait a minute.

He's gonna go up there
and make a fool--

Wait a minute.

Now, you did not tell me
to say he was rotten.

We didn't think
we had to.

I had no idea
you were tone deaf.

Calm down,
will you, kids?

I'm trying to get
your grandmother

to come out
for the opening.

I don't exactly think

that's gonna be
a big treat for anyone.

I have a feeling
he's going to need her.

Hello, Mom?

I don't know
why you're all so upset.

Look, the act needs
some comedy.

Believe me, he'll go over
like a house afire.

He'll be hilarious.

I don't think that's
what Granddad had in mind.

You're putting paint
on your face?

Amanda, what
are you doing here?

Oh, well, I heard tell
that tonight

you're going to sing
and dance your way

into the hearts of America
with your electric mandolin.

What's wrong with that?

Oh, nothing,
if you're Ruby Keeler.

Amanda, you're not going
to talk me out of this.

Oh, is there anything
I could say that could?

No.

Look...

I'm sorry
for a lot of things

I said the other day,

but the more I thought about it,

the more I realized
that all my life,

whenever I wanted to strike out

and do something
exciting,

you've talked me out of it.

Including buying tickets
on the Titanic?

There you go again.

Living in the past.

What's the Titanic got to do

with me making
my debut tonight?

Well, they're both
maiden voyages,

and I think the other similarity
is obvious.

No good, Amanda.

We're incompatible.

It took you years
to realize that?

Okay.

Maybe I was a little blinded

by the, uh, physical thing

we had going.

Oh, now, just because
you're in show business,

there is no need
for that kind of loose talk.

You know
what's wrong with us, Amanda?

No, I don't.

We've got a generation gap.

Hi, Grandma.

When did you get here?

I just got here, darling.

You aren't thinking of joining
the act too, are you?

No, dear.

I'm only a spectator.

The story
of Grandma's life.

What are you doing here
in the dressing room, Grandpa?

The show's not
for three hours.

Yes. Hmm. Yes.

Oh, I'm-- I'm--
I'm getting in the mood.

Did you see my audition
this afternoon?

No. The Dodgers were playing
an afternoon game on TV.

Oh, I was a smash, son.

Mr. Kincaid
went on and on.

Eh, what's, um, "campy"?

"Campy"?

Yeah.

See, I'm brushing up
on all the show business lingo.

What's "campy"?

Well, "campy"...

oh, that's something so corny

that people
laugh at it.

Laugh at it?

Yeah. Sort of a put-on.

Making fun of something.

See ya later, huh?

[MUTTERING]
Yeah, yourself.

Bye, Grandma.

GRANDMA: Bye.

You all right, Fred?

Of course I am.

Uh, I've just got a lot
of things on my mind,

that's all.

He found out what "campy" meant.

I really feel
awful about this.

I thought
he understood.

When Fred performed, he expected
people to take him seriously,

not to laugh at him.

Well, maybe if you told him
you'd understand

if he didn't go on, he'd--

Oh, he won't talk
to anybody now.

He won't listen
to me especially.

Well, I think I understand
how you feel, Mrs. Renfrew.

If it's any consolation,
it'll only be for one night.

Reuben,
he is my father.

Foolishness and all,

I don't want to see him
humiliate himself,

and I won't let him.

[♪♪♪]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to introduce
the newest,

and perhaps the youngest,
member of our group,

my father, Fred Renfrew.

Excuse me,

I have a request.

Now?

Would you, uh, would you play
"Bye-Bye, Blackbird"?

Oh-- Oh for Pete's sakes,
Amanda!

These folks don't want to hear
that old song.

Oh, well, you never know.

They might like it.

It was a song that, uh,
Fred played

when we were courting.

Amanda!

For me, Fred. Please.

[PLAYING "BYE-BYE, BLACKBIRD"]

♪ Pack up all my cares and woes
Here I go ♪

♪ Singing low ♪

♪ Bye-bye, Blackbird ♪

♪ Where somebody waits for me ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Sugar's sweet
So is she ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

♪ No one here can love
And understand me ♪

♪ Oh, what hard-luck stories
They all hand me ♪

♪ Make my bed
And light the light ♪

♪ I'll arrive late tonight

♪ Blackbird, bye-bye ♪

♪ Bye-bye ♪

♪ Bye-bye ♪

♪ Bye-bye ♪

♪ Pack up
All my cares and woes ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ Singing low ♪

♪ Singing low ♪

♪ I'm singing ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Bye ♪

♪ Blackbird ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Where somebody waits for me ♪

♪ Sugar's sweet ♪

♪ Sugar's sweet ♪

♪ So is she ♪

♪ So is she ♪

♪ I'm saying
Bye-bye, blackbird ♪

[♪♪♪]

Thank you, Amanda.

Oh, Fred, you were
the one who did it.

I just wanted you to see
there's a place for the past.

Well, maybe I have been
overdoing the, uh, youth kick.

It's not all your fault.

You were acting
like you were years old,

and I was acting .

It's just too big a gap.

So we'll close it.

We'll build a bridge and meet
somewhere near the middle.

Where?

How about, uh,
splitting the difference?

Somewhere in our mid- s?

I think I can manage that.

If you can mature that much.

Of course I'm glad
Grandpa was such a smash,

but we still have
the same problem, you know.

What do you mean?

After last night,
there'll be no stopping him.

I don't think so, Keith.

You're leaving, Grandpa?

Show him, Amanda.

Two tickets
for around the world.

On a very large ship.

It's a compromise.

What about show business?

Oh, well,
maybe if they coax me,

I might do a couple of gigs
on the ship's lounge.

I think
she means a career, Grandpa.

Over.

It was an experience

I wouldn't have missed
for the world.

But now it's
out of my system.

I know
I could've been a star.

Now I've got a lot
of other things I want to do.

Both of us want to do.

Right.

Now, say goodbye
to the kids.

Goodbye, kids.

Come on.

I mean, really
say goodbye to the kids.

Darlings.
Goodbye, Mom.

Goodbye. Bye-bye.

Hey, play good.

Sing good.

KIDS: Goodbye, Grandpa.

Goodbye, Grandpa.

Goodbye, Dad.

Bye.

SHIRLEY: Have a good time.

KEITH: Goodbye.

Have a good trip, Grandpa.

Bye.

Have a good time.

Goodbye.

Let's burn some rubber.

[♪♪♪]