[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]
♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪
♪ And hear us singing ♪
♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪
♪ When we're singing ♪
♪ The five of us ♪
♪ And Mom working all day ♪
♪ We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ♪
♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪
♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪
♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪
♪ And hear us singing ♪
♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪
♪ When we're singing ♪
♪ When we're singing ♪♪
Still no Lori?
No.
She's more than
a half-hour late,
and I don't think it's fair
for her to keep us waiting.
No, it isn't,
but this time,
let's let it slide.
DANNY: I've got
an idea.
Let's beat her up.
It's good for morale.
No jokes, please.
Look, Lori's in
for some bad news,
and it's up to us
to help soften the blow.
What is it?
What happened to her?
This morning,
Dr. Kessler told me
that Lori has to wear braces.
Oh, no. You're kidding.
You mean the whole bit?
The railroad tracks?
Transcontinental.
Oh, no.
Poor Lori.
So, you see,
she needs all the help
she can get.
I know.
We'll make her see
the bright side.
All kids with braces
have never had a singer
to identify with before.
This could be
the high point of her career.
Nice try, honey,
but it won't work.
Here she comes.
Ah, look, kids, I--
I want to talk
to Lori alone,
so could you find
a reason to leave, please?
Yeah, okay.
Sure, Mom.
Okay.
I'm sorry I'm late.
It's all right, honey.
Did Jerry ask you
to go steady?
He lost his nerve,
but he's gonna
try again tomorrow.
Well, I'm sorry you're
not going steady, honest.
I-- I better go get--
some sheet music.
I've got to go throw
knuckleballs.
I have to go make mud pies.
I'd better make sure
my pet lizard
has plenty of flies.
What happened?
I thought we were
supposed to have a rehearsal.
Let's you and I
have a little talk.
How do you think
she'll take it?
The braces?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, Lori's cool.
She can handle it.
Yeah, but Lori's a girl.
She's gonna take it hard.
I just hope
she doesn't get hysterical.
She won't.
She'll be brave.
Six months?
Oh, honey, I know
this is a shock for you.
And I'm not gonna
try and kid you
by saying it won't make
any difference
in the way you look,
but isn't it better
to wear braces for six months
and have beautiful teeth
for the rest of your life?
When do I get them?
Tomorrow, : .
That's when
I'm supposed to meet Jerry.
Lori's very mature.
Mature people
don't get hysterical.
She'll be brave.
It doesn't matter
how mature women are.
They still get goofy
about how they look.
I think
she'll be brave.
Hysterical.
Brave.
Hysterical!
She was both.
Stop that.
Hey.
Here comes Jerry again.
Again?
He's walked by here
at least times today.
What's he doing?
He's hoping
he'll see Lori.
It's the old,
"Hi, Lori.
What a coincidence.
I just happened
to be passing by," trick.
Some coincidence.
Guys in love are crazy.
[HONKING]
Here he comes.
JERRY: Hi.
BOTH: Oh, hi.
Just happened to be passing by.
Is Lori here?
No, she's
at the dentist.
Oh.
Well, that's where
she said she was going
when she broke our date,
but I just thought
something might be wrong.
No, not exactly.
The dentist
is gonna give--
Ah, is gonna give her
a check-up.
I'll have her call you
when she gets in.
Thanks.
Well...
See you.
Bye.
Okay, what was
that all about?
Lori said she wanted
to tell him about
the braces herself.
But why?
It's not like she has
a terminal disease or anything.
It doesn't matter.
She said she wanted
to tell him.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Mr. Kincaid.
How are you doing, Reuben?
What are you doing
in town?
Kids, I have great news.
That's good, because
we have bad news.
Oh? What's your bad news?
What's your great news?
I asked you first.
Why is it,
whenever I get
with you kids,
I descend
to your level?
Oh, all right.
The good news is that
The Wayne Burgess Show
is taping in San Francisco
this week,
and I've convinced them
to come down
and tape a segment right here.
The Partridge Family
at home.
Hey, that's terrific.
It sure is!
Mr. Kincaid?
That's a masterstroke.
Congratulations.
Thanks, Danny.
I'm learning.
Now, what is your bad news?
Lori's at the ornithologist.
Why? Has she got a sick bird?
He means the orthodontist.
Oh.
She's gonna have to wear braces.
Poor kid.
At her age,
that's gonna be rough.
Well, we'll just have to
make her see the bright side.
Bright side?
Yeah.
All those kids out there
with braces on their teeth.
They never had
a singer to identify with.
This could be a high point
in her career.
That's exactly what I said,
Mr. Kincaid.
You know,
we think a lot alike.
I know.
And sometimes it scares me.
Well, they're back.
Okay, kids, come here.
Come here, quick.
Okay now, look.
We shouldn't mention
Lori's braces, right?
ALL: Right.
Right.
But don't be
overly nice either.
Okay. Just treat her
as rotten as you normally do.
Okay.
REUBEN: Okay.
Reuben,
what are you doing in town?
Shirley,
I have great news.
We're gonna be
on the Wayne Burgess Show.
Right here in our house.
Reuben,
that's wonderful.
When is it?
Tomorrow afternoon.
Isn't that
fantastic, Lori?
We're gonna be seen
on nationwide TV.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean
to make her cry.
I've got to go
and apologize to her.
Honey, the best thing to do now
is just leave her alone.
She's pretty upset.
Do you think she'll do the show?
You don't have to worry
about Lori, Mr. Kincaid.
She won't let us down.
Strange.
That's what Caesar
said about Brutus.
Lori?
Has anyone heard
Lori talk today?
She hasn't said a word
since she left
the dentist's office.
Hasn't even opened
her mouth.
It's too bad
grown women don't wear braces.
It would sure make
the divorce rate drop.
She has to open
her mouth now.
She has to eat.
Hi.
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
Look, honey,
there's no reason
to be so down
in the mouth.
I'm sorry.
It was a bad choice of words.
Lori, the kids
want me to tell you
that they're willing
to cancel the show
if you don't feel up to it.
Mr. Burgess is gonna have
a hard time replacing us.
It's pretty late.
Honey, I know
how you feel.
But you're gonna
have to wear those braces
for six months.
We can't cancel
all of our engagements.
And you can't
just stop talking.
Women aren't built
that way.
And you can't
just eat soup.
Sooner or later,
you're gonna get a noodle
caught in your straw
or something.
Oh, Mom,
what am I gonna do?
Well, that's a step
in the right direction.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
SHIRLEY: Lori,
would you get that?
I'm not dressed yet.
Okay, Mom.
Hi.
I'm Wink Burgess, superstar.
Here's an autographed
picture of me.
This is Tommy Phillips,
our producer/director.
Pay no attention to him.
I'm the one with the profile.
And you must be
Lori Partridge.
Oh, what a beautiful
young girl.
And you're so lucky
to be this close to me.
I realize I'm early,
but where is everybody?
Oh, well, Mom and the kids
are upstairs changing
and Keith and Reuben are
in the garage
bringing in the equipment.
Oh, that's great.
How long have you been
talking into your hand, anyway?
Well, here's
an autographed picture
for each of them.
They'd look nice
on that wall.
Yes-- One long row of me.
Why don't we take
a few publicity sh*ts
while we're waiting?
Great idea, Tommy.
Great idea.
Come on, now,
give us a smile.
A nice, big smile.
Oh, come on.
You can do better than that.
No, come on,
come on, Lori.
Give us a nice, big smile.
Oh, get those down.
Give us a nice, big smile.
Come on, now.
Give us a big smile.
Come on,
let's see some teeth.
I can't.
What happened?
Hi.
What a coincidence.
I just happened
to be passing by.
Lori?
I've got to ask you this
while I've got my nerve up.
Would you...
go steady with me?
I can't do that either.
Lori?
Did she tell you yet?
Tell me what?
I can't tell you.
Okay, keep moving, keep moving.
We haven't got all day.
Can I have a lighting--
Over here.
Would you
come over here...
That's right, uh,
this one.
Work this one
and plug that in.
You don't have to do
that now.
Watch the light.
Watch the light.
All right.
Okay. Listen.
Here, here, here,
here, here.
Okay, can I have--
Come on, come on, come on.
Relax for a minute.
I want to get
a rehearsal on the song.
Well, we can't
put it off any longer.
You can do it,
can't you?
Sure.
Nothing to it.
Nothing to what,
Hmm? Hmm?
Why does she talk
into her hand?
That's not natural, you know?
It's nothing, really.
It's just that
Lori just got braces,
and she's reluctant
to open her mouth, that's all.
A singer who won't sing.
Isn't that wonderful?
I could've booked
a militant priest
who demands Sundays off.
I could've booked
a leather craftsman
who hand-tooled
his wife, but no.
WINK: I book
a singer who won't sing.
REUBEN: Oh, she'll sing,
and with no hands.
Good.
WINK: Hey, come on.
Let's get on with it
before she changes her mind.
Okay, uh,
let's go through it
without singing the lyrics.
The soundman wants to get
a level on the instruments.
Anything.
Let's just get on with it.
We're running late.
Okay, okay.
One.
Two.
Three.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
A doorbell? A doorbell?
We're doing a TV show,
and we're interrupted
by a doorbell?
My mother told me
not to become a superstar,
but I wouldn't listen.
Why, I'm-- I'm sorry,
Mr. Burgess.
Wink.
Wink.
Bill, come on in.
Hi. Am I late?
No, no.
You're just in time
for rehearsal.
Uh, this is Dr. Kessler,
our dentist.
I invited him over
to watch us film the show.
Mrs. Partridge,
this is a TV show,
not a block party.
Dr. Kessler, this is Mr.--
Charmed, charmed,
but we're a little bit
behind schedule.
Here, here--
Put this over your heart.
It prevents warts.
Come on.
Let's get on with it.
Why don't you sit down
over here?
Okay. This is a rehearsal,
and instruments only.
All right.
One, two, three, four.
[PIANO PLAYING]
[PIANO PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]
[MUSIC PETERING OUT]
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Lori, what's the matter?
I don't know.
There's a funny buzzing
in my ears.
Well, I--
I'm sorry about this,
Mr. Burgess.
I really am.
Me too.
I could've been
interviewing
a man who takes
aerial photographs
of Kate Smith.
But no, I have to
listen to you.
I'm on a diet.
Let's try it again.
Okay.
One, two, three, four.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[PIANO PLAYING WRONG NOTES]
Wait a minute,
wait a minute. Hold it.
Lori, this is a / count.
I know,
but my mouth is playing / .
That doesn't make any sense.
I know
you're not gonna believe this,
but I can hear music
in my mouth.
Oh, wonderful.
Wonderful.
I've found a girl
who has a mouth for music.
Lori, what kind of a story
is that?
I don't know.
I-- I can hear music
in my mouth.
I think it's the Rolling Stones.
Lori, I'm on your side,
but the Rolling Stones
don't make personal appearances
in a person's mouth.
Honey, you did agree
to do this, remember?
I did agree,
and I want to do it.
I'm not making it up.
You don't believe me, do you?
Excuse me.
This could be
the Piebald Syndrome.
No, I'm sure
it's the Rolling Stones.
DR. KESSLER:
But the Piebald Syndrome
is when the metal in your mouth
collects radio signals.
You're kidding.
No, not at all.
It happens quite often,
but usually with fillings.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
For a while,
I didn't believe it.
Lori, can I listen
to your mouth?
Is there anything
we can do about it?
Oh, sure.
I could remove
the braces,
but that would take
about three hours.
In three hours,
I shall be in Los Angeles,
interviewing an ex-Trappist monk
who inscribes graffiti
on the head of a pin.
Why don't we go around
asking everybody
to maintain radio silence
until we're through
with the show?
That's not a bad idea.
Braces aren't the best
receivers, are they?
And they usually pick up signals
quite close by--
Hundred, yards.
Well, then, what
are we waiting for?
Here-- Phillips!
Take some men and go east.
Mrs. Partridge,
you and your family
fan out across the street.
You-- technicians,
grips, gaffers--
take the houses behind.
I'll go stand
in the street
and meet my public.
Okay, men, action.
Hi.
What a coincidence.
I just happened to be passing by
and I nearly
got trampled.
Hey.
You're all right,
aren't you?
I mean, you're not
gonna be sick?
Hey, your radio.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
It's playing the same thing
my mouth is.
I beg your pardon?
It was you.
Lori!
Did you know
you have braces?
I'm sorry.
I meant to break it to you--
eventually.
Hey, Lori, it really doesn't
make any difference.
It doesn't?
No. You're still you.
I mean,
you're a beautiful person,
even if you do have
an ugly mouth.
Oh, gosh, I--
I didn't mean that.
I mean, there's lot of
good things about having braces.
You can strike a match
on your teeth.
I don't mean that either.
Boy, I'm really blowing it.
I need braces on my head.
Oh, thank you, Jerry.
You're welcome, but what for?
You made me smile.
Mom? Reuben?
Everybody, come back.
I've solved the problem.
All right,
clear back there.
You're in the shot.
Clear back.
Okay, let's do it.
You ready?
All right, hit it.
[PIANO PLAYING]
♪ I try in so many
Different ways ♪
♪ To say just the words
That I mean to say ♪
♪ I sing from my heart
But we're so far apart ♪
♪ And all my love
Is here in my song ♪
♪ But then you don't believe
In love songs, love songs ♪
♪ You say my love
Cannot be true ♪
♪ And if you won't believe
In love songs, love songs ♪
♪ Then tell me
What to sing for you ♪
♪ My song has a soft
And simple beat ♪
♪ All the lines don't rhyme
But the words are sweet ♪
♪ I think that we'll find
If we take just the time ♪
♪ The love we'll have
Won't ever be wrong ♪
♪ But then you don't believe
In love songs, love songs ♪
♪ You say my love
Cannot be true ♪
♪ And if you won't believe
In love songs, love songs ♪
♪ Then tell me
What to sing for you ♪
[INSTRUMENTAL]
♪ But then you don't believe
In love songs ♪
♪ Love songs ♪
♪ You say my love
Cannot be true ♪
♪ And if you won't believe
In love songs ♪
♪ Love songs ♪
♪ Then tell me
What to sing for you ♪
♪ But then you don't believe
In love songs, love songs ♪
♪ You say my love
Cannot be true ♪
♪ And if you won't believe
In love songs ♪
♪ Love songs ♪
♪ Then tell me
What to sing for you ♪♪
Well, thank you
for inviting me over, Shirley.
It was quite an experience.
I'm certainly glad
you were here.
We wouldn't have
had a show.
Dr. Kessler,
my family almost missed
this performance because of me.
Is there any chance
it could happen again?
It's doubtful, but it might.
Can't anything be done?
Yes, but it would mean
a sacrifice for you.
What kind of a sacrifice?
Well, I could remove the braces,
but you'd have to wear
a night brace.
A night brace?
Yeah, you know,
the thing that wraps
around your face.
Oh.
DR. KESSLER: You'd only have to
wear the braces six months,
but you would have to wear
the retainer every night
for two years.
Just at night?
That's right.
Oh, Dr. Kessler.
You may like it,
but I don't think
Jerry's gonna be too thrilled.
Why?
When you and Jerry
go to a drive-in,
now you're gonna
have to watch the movie.
Oh!
01x16 - Old Scrapmouth
Watch/Buy Amazon
Jones plays a widowed mother, and Cassidy plays the oldest of her five children, in a family who embarks on a music career.
Jones plays a widowed mother, and Cassidy plays the oldest of her five children, in a family who embarks on a music career.