01x19 - To Play or Not to Play

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ The five of us ♪

♪ And Mom working all day ♪

♪ We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪

♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪♪

[BUS BACKFIRING]

LAURIE: Hold on to it, Mom.
We can make it.

SHIRLEY: I don't know
what keeps it running,

unless it's going
to the old bus graveyard to die.

CHRIS: Some mechanic
you turned out to be.

KEITH:
I did the best I could.

I need some decent tools.

Dime makes a lousy screwdriver.

SHIRLEY: Here's the club.

We made it.

[BUS BACKFIRES]

We should have
been here at noon.

We could've been late
for a lot of shows,

but, no,
we have to be late

for the turning point
of our career.

Look, I thought the bus
was in good shape when we left.

I'll fix it later.

Don't worry
about it, honey.

We may be
two hours late,

but that's not the stuff
Greek tragedies are made of.

But this is one of
the most important clubs

we've ever played.

It doesn't look
all that important.

Listen,
The Village Quarter

is about the biggest
tourist attraction

in the state.

Playing here
is a big break for us.

Laurie?

Marc!

Oh, I don't
believe it. Marc!

Should they be doing that
in the street?

Mom, this
is Marc Baldwin.

He went
to our high school.

Hi. How do you do?

How do you do, Marc?

Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

How are you?
Hello.

Group.

When I heard you were
gonna play the club,

it really blew my mind.

The last time I saw you,

you were planning a career
as a UN translator.

Yeah, well,
I sort of gave that up

when I found out

I had to learn
a foreign language.

What are you
doing here?

Going to college.

I work at the club
nights and weekends.

No, no, you show up at the club,
but I never see you work.

I was just saying hello
to an old friend.

Good. Good. Now say goodbye.

But I haven't seen her
in over a year.

You talk to old friends
on my time.

You talk to new friends
on my time.

Look, kid,
my time ain't your time.

I'll talk
to you later, okay?

Okay.

Bum.

That's the kind of help
you get today.

College kids.
Fast mouths, but slow hands.

Partridges?

I'm Marino, the owner.

How do you do?

How do you do?

You said that you wanted
to rehearse all day,

so I set the stage.

So far, I haven't
heard any music.

Maybe you been rehearsing
"Silent Night," right?

We're very sorry.
You see, our bus--

And you know,
in my day,

when somebody
said something,

they kept their word.

But I'm a little old-fashioned.
I'll adjust.

We did try, but--

Like I said,
I'll adjust.

Especially
if you bring in a big crowd.

Oh, we will.

Uh, on our last
four dates,

we've beaten the house records
by to %.

How do you know?

How does he know?

He knows.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Come on, I'll show you
where you're rehearsing.

Could you show us
where we're staying first?

I've been working on the bus
and I'm pretty dirty.

You see that building
over there?

Oh, yeah.
That's the hotel.

Now look up there
on the second floor.

Uh-huh.

See the little window?
Oh, yeah.

I just showed you
where you're staying.

Now can we rehearse?

Where you been?

Everybody ready?

Yeah.
Yep.

Oh, I forgot
to plug in my guitar.

I remember when you didn't
have to plug in a guitar.

If you didn't plug it in,
what made it work?

They probably used transistors.

Okay. Let's do
"No Doubt in My Mind."

Chris, your glove.

A gentleman always
takes his glove off

before playing the drums.

Sorry. I forgot I had it on.

He even wears it
to the bathroom.

Tracy.

Oh, boy.

♪ There's no doubt in my mind ♪

♪ With your wandering smile ♪

♪ You won't be
Staying very long ♪

♪ Oh, but you're gonna find ♪

♪ If you hang around
A while ♪

♪ You will remember me ♪

♪ When you're gone ♪

♪ You may not think
That my love ♪

♪ Counts for much ♪

♪ But you'll
Remember me, baby ♪

♪ Every single time
We touch ♪

♪ One of these days
You're gonna wish ♪

♪ That you were mine ♪

♪ Don't be mistaken, baby
You won't be wastin' any time ♪♪

I hired you to cook,

and if you ain't
in the kitchen cooking,

and I say
you're goofing off.

I suppose if I passed out
from smoke inhalation,

you'd accuse me of goofing off.

It's always
something else.

You people are
always complaining.

Now it's a little smoke.

A little smoke?

Mr. Marino,
we've been after you for months

to fix that ventilator.

How can I afford
to fix it

with the salaries
I pay you clowns?

Hah! You call that a salary?

Bob Cratchit
got more money from Scrooge.

Don't get wise with me.

I demand a little respect.

It's awfully hard
to respect someone

when they're exploiting you.

If you feel
I'm exploiting you,

why don't you quit,
all of you?

I got a better idea.
We're going out on strike.

You can't go out on strike!

Why not?

Because you're all fired.
Now get out.

Move! Move!

Why are you
standing here?

Get out.

If I passed out
from smoke inhalation,

you'd accuse me
of goofing off.

[SHOUTING]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY STOPS PLAYING]

Keep rehearsing.

Keep rehearsing!

Let's get the bus
moved and unloaded

and we'll
check into our rooms.

We have a few hours
before the show,

and I want you kids
to take a nice, long nap.

CHRIS AND TRACY:
Oh, Mom, I'm not sleepy.

SHIRLEY: You heard me.

It's gonna be a long night.

I'm gonna go ask Marc

what that commotion
was all about.

Hey, good idea.
I'll go with her.

Me too.

Let's all go.

Let's all go
and unload the bus.

Hi.

Hi.

Marc, what was that
all about inside?

Oh, Marino and I got
into a terrible argument.

Ooh. He fired you?

Yeah, after we told him
we were going out on strike.

You're kidding?

Well, what are the issues?

Well, there's
no job security.

No benefits.

No sick pay.

Terrible working conditions.

No overtime,

and practically
no salary at all.

It's a typical example

of the establishment
exploiting the working class.

Well, have you tried
reasoning with him?

Oh, sure.
I've reasoned with him.

I've pleaded with him.

I've even made him feel guilty.

No, he's not gonna change
until he's forced to.

So what are you gonna do?

Well, like the man said...

walk softly
and carry a big stick.

Well, what's it
all about?

Name the grievance.

That bad?

What's the management
side of it?

What could it be?

It could be right.

You would say that.
You're a conservative.

He's a child.

A child conservative.

Call it what you want,

but in your heart,
you know I'm right.

Something wrong?

Yeah, I'm--
I'm afraid so.

Mom, I can't cross
a picket line.

I can't, Mom.

I think they're right.

I told you a lot of people
were gonna get hurt...

But I didn't think
we'd be six of them.

You know, if you ask me,

this whole thing
is ridiculous.

Keith, a strike
is always serious,

no matter what side
you think is right.

Look, I'm not
taking sides,

but just because
they walked off their job,

doesn't mean Laurie
should walk off hers.

There's only one
sensible solution--

binding arbitration.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Did you get unpacked?

Mm-hmm.

Well, does that mean
you've changed your mind?

No.

It just means
I didn't want my clothes

to get wrinkled.

Perfect.

Oh, hey...

please try
and understand it.

I don't want to do this to you,

but I do have a responsibility
to my conscience.

Honey, you have
another responsibility too.

What about
all those people

who are coming
to see us tonight?

They don't know anything
about a strike.

They're paying to see us,
all of us.

I don't want to disappoint them.

DANNY: They're your kind
of people, Laurie.

Little people.

Children from
the working class.

Anti-establishment people.

They're coming from
miles and miles around.

In Conestoga wagons.
On foot. By mule train.

Honey...

Those people are going
to be disappointed.

Don't hate me, Mom.

I'm just trying
to do the right thing.

Look, I just want
to play music

the best way I know how.

Now, is that wrong?

No. Not for you.

Look, maybe
this whole conversation

is purely academic.

Maybe they settled it.

I'm gonna go over
and see what's happening.

Good idea.
Can I come too?

I guess so.

You're the next best thing
to The Wall Street Journal.

Straight-up.

Radical.

Fink.

Crybaby.

Wait!

What is this?

Come on.

Who ain't socially responsible?

I got a sister living with me--

years old,
not a husband in sight.

Her hope chest is overflowing
into my whole house.

I got an uncle living with me,
years that bum hasn't worked.

But does labor care? Nah.

I take it
that management isn't prepared

to make any overtures
at this moment?

William Tell makes overtures.

I hire new help.

It seems we both have
a strike problem.

What both?

My daughter objects
to crossing the picket line.

She what?

Let's not anticipate trouble.

No trouble.

I got a contract here,
calls for six Partridges.

Look, I'm sure
we can work something out.

I just can't force Laurie
to do something

she feels is morally wrong.

Force her!

According to this contract,
she plays unless she's sick.

Well, she did look
a little flush.

Some things
aren't covered by a contract.

I'm covered,

and that's enough.

Look, lady, I got
one relative that works.

He's a lawyer.

Now, if you break
that contract,

he will be
very pleased to sue you.

Now, is that clear?

Perfectly clear.

I came to work out a problem,

not to listen
to your insinuations.

Ah, lady, lady,
these are not insinuations.

These are out-and-out threats.

Maybe threats are
your solution to a problem,

but they're not mine.

I haven't decided
what I'm gonna do yet,

but I will not allow you
to intimidate me or my family.

Is that clear?

I'll make it clear to my lawyer.

[FRANTIC KNOCKING]

Come in, Reuben.

How did you know
it was me?

Nobody else I know
knocks that hysterically.

Has John L. Lewis
come to her senses yet?

She hasn't
changed her mind.

Laurie.

Laurie...

You are making me
a nervous wreck.

Reuben, you've always been
a nervous wreck.

Well, this time,
it's for keeps.

I'm sorry, Reuben, but...

but I can't help it.

He is going to sue us
for everything we have.

And that is because
you are legally wrong.

Calm down, Reuben.

Nothing's
been decided yet.

We still have two hours.

Right.

Everything will
work out all right.

I'm sure it will... for you.

Now what's that
supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Not a thing.

You can't force it out of me,
so don't try.

Okay.

Who wants to spend
all that money

for an operation anyway?

Besides, I might not even
be able to find a donor.

Reuben, there's nothing
wrong with you.

Oh, yes, there is.
I am not happy.

Keith, help me.
Talk to your sister.

Oh, I have.

And I don't think I should
talk to her anymore.

I'm beginning to think
Laurie's right.

The whole family's gone bananas.

I need an ally.
Where's Danny?

Where is Danny?

Oh, no... Oh, no.

Mom, Danny's out there
talking to the strikers.

SHIRLEY:
Oh, no.

I better get him

before he sets
labor relations

back years.

Laurie, watch over
the kids.

Oh, hi.

Danny, what
were you doing?

I've been
on a fact-finding mission, Mom.

I've been investigating
the claims of both sides.

Mm-hm. What claims?

The kitchen is badly ventilated.

And Mr. Marino does
pay them terrible wages.

It would be a step up
the social ladder

if they all went on welfare.

It doesn't sound like Marino
has much on his side.

Yes, he does.

See, he hires college students

because it's hard for them
to find jobs.

Or maybe because
they'll work cheap.

DANNY:
No, I don't think so.

He lets them come in late
or take off all together

if they have to study
for an exam.

Well, that's something.

See, it all
boils down to this--

Mr. Marino claims

they don't respect
his authority.

And they claim

that he doesn't respect
their rights.

And they're both right.

Which leaves us
right back where we started.

I still think
we should go on.

After all, we did
agree to do the job.

But not at the expense
of other people's jobs.

But would it be right
to break a contract?

Certainly not legally.

And do we have
the right

to disappoint
all those people?

Then you want us
to perform?

Honey, all I know
at this point

is that all of us
will perform

or none of us will.

Look, kids,

I'd like to be alone
for about a half-hour

to think
this thing out, okay?

Sure, Mom.
Come on.

Mom, I'm really sorry

I got us into
this whole thing.

You're doing
what you think is right.

I'd be disappointed
if you didn't.

I'm so confused now, I...

I don't even know
what's right anymore.

It's not an easy decision
for anyone to make.

Well, I just want you to know
that I respect your judgment.

Whatever you decide to do,
well, I go along with it.

Thanks for
the vote of confidence.

It doesn't help me
to make up my mind...

but it's nice to know.

$ for tablecloths
and napkins.

We must have
the sloppiest eaters in town

come here.

[INTERCOM BUZZING]

Yeah?

RECEPTIONIST:
Mr. Marino,

a Danny Partridge
is here to see you.

Send him in.

What can I do
for you, kid?

I'm a busy man.

Um...

Do you have a key
to lock that door?

Sure, why?

Well, could I see you
for a minute?

I guess so.

What's this all about?

You'll see.

Come on in.

What are you doing here, bum?

Danny says
you're ready to settle.

I'm what?

[LOCKING DOOR]

This is a form
of binding arbitration.

I'm not gonna unlock the door

until you two
reach an agreement.

Give me the key.

Before you try

and take the key
away from me,

I'd better advise you

of the laws
protecting juveniles.

Bum.

And you're a rotten kid.

Hi.

What did they say
at the musicians' union?

All grim.

Have you made up
your mind yet?

Yes. I'm going
to tell Marino now.

Tell him what?

I don't want
to discuss it, Reuben.

Oh, no.
You have to perform.

Shirley, you can't
do this to me.

I'm a veteran.

I have a medal
for marksmanship.

What about
your children?

STRIKER: Hey.
What are you doing?

What do you think
you're doing?

I know. I know!

Music is in your blood.

You can't give up
your blood.

You can't
give up my blood!

May I help you?
No.

I'm Shirley Partridge.

I want to speak
with Mr. Marino.

I'm sorry.

He's in a meeting

and doesn't want
to be disturbed.

You see?
He can't be disturbed.

I believe in signs.

Please tell him I'm here.

It's very urgent.

Well, okay.

Mr. Marino?

MARINO: I said I didn't want
to be disturbed.

Mrs. Partridge
is here to see you.

She says it's urgent.

Give me the key
so's I can open the door.

Okay, keep the key.

Just open the door.

Ah, Mrs. Partridge.

What a pleasant surprise.

Mr. Marino,
I have to talk with you.

This is our manager,
Mr. Kincaid.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Partridge,

but right now I'm tied up
with labor negotiations.

Well, if you're
gonna negotiate,

you should be out there

negotiating
with those... kids.

Hi. I bet you never dreamed
I'd be a binding arbitrator.

How--
Easy, Mom.

I just applied
a little logic and reason.

And a little trickery
and deceit.

He makes
a great mediator.

You mean everything
is settled?

Not quite.

We still haven't figured out

proper ventilation
for the kitchen.

MARINO:
Now just a minute!

I gave in on the raise in pay.

Now what? Now what?

I think we still have
a little more negotiating to do.

I'm not gonna stand
for this, kid.

You're exploiting me!

Danny--

Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

As you probably know,
labor and management

had a little clash
this afternoon.

But they worked
things out.

And the employees have asked me

to dedicate this next song
to Mr. Marino.

[PLAYING "UMBRELLA MAN"]

♪ Your world is cloudy ♪

♪ Blue skies turned to gray ♪

♪ Raindrops are fallin' ♪

♪ But why stop
And call it a day? ♪

♪ There'll be
No stormy weather ♪

♪ As long as you're with me ♪

♪ Our love's so together ♪

♪ Girl, I love ya
You can depend on me ♪

♪ I'll be your... ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shower you with all my love ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shelter you
In my loving arms ♪

♪ Umbrella Man
Heaven help me ♪

♪ Child, you know ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Love you, love you
Love you ♪

♪ Too many nights of love
Have come and gone ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ That's all behind us, girl
I know we can get it on ♪

♪ Get it on ♪

♪ Well, I want your love to be
Always close at hand ♪

♪ You're heaven-sent to me ♪

♪ We can make it, girl
I know we can ♪

♪ I know we can ♪

♪ Hey, I'll be your... ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shower you with all my love ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shelter you
In my lovin' arms ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Heaven help me
Child, you know ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Love you, love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Said I love ya ♪

♪ Love you
Said I love you, girl ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shower you
With all my love ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Shelter you
In my lovin' arms ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪

♪ Heaven help me ♪

♪ Heaven help me ♪

♪ Umbrella Man ♪♪

[APPLAUSE]

It was a great gig.

Well, thank you.

I'm just glad everything
worked out all right

for you and the others.

Yeah, we made
a lot of progress.

You know, if you can overlook
his nagging and complaining,

Marino isn't such a bad guy.

But don't ever tell him
I said that.

If it'll make you feel
any better,

he told me confidentially,
"All of my help is bums."

Oh, ho, ho!

Hey, hey,
I-- I got the rough figures.

Yeah?

You broke the house record
by between and %.

Why you goofing off, bum?

It's my regularly
scheduled break.

It's your--
he got a regular--

He got it?

Well, you're still a bum.

All aboard, everybody.

Goodbye, Marc.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

[♪♪♪]