02x17 - Waiting for Bolero

[bunniefuu]

[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]

♪ Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ♪

♪ Come on, get happy ♪

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

♪ We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ♪

♪ We'd spread a little love ♪

♪ And then we'll keep
Movin' on ♪

♪ Something always happens
Whenever we're together ♪

♪ We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ♪

♪ Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ♪

♪ Come on, get happy ♪

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

[♪♪♪]

Look at it this way, Mom,

if I don't get
my own place,

that song just isn't
gonna get written.

But, Keith, my son,

you've always been able to
write your songs at home before.

[SIGHS]

But there's no privacy,

and the noise
in this house

keeps getting worse
all the time.

[LAUGHS]

Who are you kidding?
If you got your own place,

the noise would make this house
sound like a library.

Will you just
play your part.

Now ask me
about the money.

The money.
I love things

that are spontaneous
and unrehearsed.

But, Keith,
what about the money?

Good question.

Since I'll be using
the place as a studio,

it'll be a tax deduction.

At the end of the year,

it could wind up
saving us money.

Maybe if we all took
separate places, we'd get rich.

Laurie, you're not
helping.

All right.

Here's a question
Mom's sure to ask you:

Keith, what's the real reason
you wanna move out?

[SIGHS]

You mean the other
real reason.

Okay, I'll tell you.

I need freedom,
a place to spread out.

I'm a blossoming young man
without a garden to grow in.

[SCOFFS]

That is really awful.

Well, something like that,
for dramatic effect.

Well, I don't believe
a word of it.

But I'll say one thing
for you:

You certainly have
your answers down pat.

[KNOCKING]

Laurie? Hi, honey.

Would you return this with that
other batch of books, please?

Sure, Mom.

Uh, Mom?

Uh ,there's something I'd like
to discuss with you.

Oh? What is it?

Mom, I've been seriously
thinking about

moving out of the house
and taking a place of my own.

Really?
Forget it.

That's one answer
we didn't cover.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hey, here's one.

Twelve rooms
and servants' quarters,

swimming pool
and tennis court.

Only $ .

A hundred dollars?
What--?

[SIGHS]

That's $ .

That kind of mistake
isn't like me.

Will you stop looking
in the Taj Mahal section.

All I need is a bare desk
and a naked light bulb.

That's one thing about you,
Keith, you don't give up.

Mom's been saying no for days,
but you keep trying.

I told you, Danny,
it's not for me.

It's for the family.

You mean the family's gonna
have girls and wild parties

at your place?

Hey, this sounds great.

"Bachelor room
with private entrance

in exchange
for light gardening."

Hello? Yeah, I'm calling
about your bachelor room.

Sure, I can garden.

Yeah. Rosario Road?

The block?
Who is this?

Mr. Jarvis,
this is Keith Partridge,

your next-door
neighbor.

Yeah, all right,
I'll come over after dinner.

Yeah, fine.
Thanks. Bye.

[SIGHS]

Right next door.
This is perfect.

Perfect. Now you won't have
to cross the street by yourself.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Mom?

Hi, Keith.

You finish
the new song yet?

Hi, Reuben.
Haven't even started it.

Haven't even
started it?

Keith, we have to fill
that album with music.

And the Partridge Family
is not exactly known

for their organ
interludes.

Reuben,
it's a personal problem.

I can't work around
this house anymore.

What are you talking about?
What is he talking about?

The same thing he's been
talking about all week.

He wants his own
apartment.

Your own apartment?

[SCOFFS]

Do you know when
I got my own apartment?

Three years ago,
when my mother moved to Yonkers.

Better take
the roast out.

Reuben,
this is for the album.

I'm talking
about a place

where I can write music,
that's all.

Mom, our next-door neighbor
has a room.

It's rent-free
and just light gardening.

What do you say?
No.

[♪♪♪]

Shirley, this is none
of my business--

Don't tell me
you're on his side.

Well--

Reuben, he's too young.

He's .
Kids his age start changing.

They wanna be more independent,
spread their wings. It's normal.

He can't even take care
of himself.

Can you see him washing
his own clothes

and cooking
his own dinner?

Well, maybe he can't
handle it.

If not,
he'll come home.

I don't want him
to leave.

Well, I don't want him to,
either.

But if he's got his mind
set on it...

[♪♪♪]

Well, in a year,
he'll be old enough to leave

without your
permission.

And by then, Mr. Jarvis
may not have a room

to rent next door.
[SIGHS]

Reuben...

They grow up so fast.

I know.

[♪♪♪]

Well, this is the last load.
I guess I'm leaving.

ALL:
Yay!

That's one of the reasons
I am leaving.

I get no respect
around here.

Well, goodbye, Keith.

Goodbye, Mom.

Look, Mom, there's no reason
to get upset.

I mean, after all,
I'm not moving across country,

just across
the driveway.

I know. Just don't step
on my tulips on the way.

I won't. Bye.

Make sure when you get
to your new place,

you give us a call.

We wanna know if
you made it safely.

Be sure to write
every day.

We'll forward
all your mail.

Don't forget
to take your nap.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[KEITH SIGHS]

KEITH:
My own hangers.

Hi, neighbor.
Hi, Mom.

How's it going?
Oh, great.

Just great.

Uh, say, Mom,

I've been pretty busy

and, uh, I don't have
an ironed shirt.

Oh, no, you can iron
your own shirt.

I packed a traveling iron
in your suitcase.

[SIGHS]

Is that what that was?

I thought it was
a paperweight.

[♪♪♪]

[COUGHS]
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[SIGHS]

Are you having
a fire sale?

Have you ever tried
to iron a shirt?

Looks like you ironed it
with a hot paperweight.

[COUGHS]

What's in the bag?

Hey, that's my shirt.

Yeah, you left it
at home

and I thought
you might need it.

So I had it cleaned
and pressed.

[SIGHS]

Okay, what's it gonna
cost me?

In this special get-acquainted
offer, the first one is free.

After that,
at any time,

if you choose to cancel
my services,

well, then, you're under
no further obligation.

I feel like I'm talking
to the back of a magazine.

Exactly what services
are you talking about?

Food, drink, laundry.

I'll run a tab,
payable at the end of the month.

Uh-huh.

I'll have to sign a contract,
of course.

Don't be silly, Keith.

All I need from you is your--
Your good word,

a friendly handshake
and a $ deposit.

[♪♪♪]

KEITH [OVER WALKIE-TALKIE]:
Danny, are you there?

Can you hear me?

Yes, this is Mayday. I read you
loud and clear, Bluebird. Over.

This is not Bluebird.
This is Keith.

And will you cut that
dumb commando routine?

It's not my fault
you can't afford a telephone.

I know, but I feel like
a complete idiot

talking into a Captain k*ll
walkie-talkie.

Okay, if you wanna
shout out the window

and have Mom hear you,
go ahead.

Danny, I'm hungry.

A little food will bring you
back to normal.

Yeah, what have you got?

Today's special

is peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwiches,

and your stretch socks
are ready.

Okay, but hurry. I'm hungry
and my feet are cold.

[♪♪♪]

Hi. How's your
light gardening going?

I feel like
a sharecropper.

What's for lunch?
I'm starved.

Today's special
is a savory--

Peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwich.

I've memorized the menu.

DANNY: That's $ . .
KEITH: $ . ?

For a peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwich?

That includes a pickle
and potato chips.

[SIGHS]

That's $ . out of two.

That's , , --

Danny.

Danny?

Keith, have you
seen Danny?

Danny? Why would I
see Danny?

Well, if you do, would you tell
him that lunch is almost ready?

Homemade soup
and roast-beef sandwiches.

[SIGHS]

Yeah, I'll tell him.

Boy, am I starved.
Here's your lunch.

Wait a minute,
it's crushed.

The-- The potato chips
are potato dust.

Doesn't matter,
the flavor's locked inside.

Oh, you even squished my pickle.

It tastes the same.

I won't pay.
You already did.

You can't get away
with this.

Call the Better Business Bureau.

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLING]

Okay, Vicky.
Yeah, : at my place.

Okay. Bye.

Who's Vicky?

Oh, a pom-pom girl
in college.

Oh, an older woman.

Keith, do you really like
living alone?

Well, it's, uh...

It's groovy,
you know?

But I must admit,

it's not the playboy life
I thought it would be.

Oh?

Mr. Jarvis'
light gardening

takes about three hours
a day.

I hardly have time
to do my homework.

But, uh, I'm doing okay.

Mm-hmm.

You eat all right?
Oh, sure.

Listen, I have to make

these practice meat loaves
for Home Ec.

And if you wanted them I could
make them at your place.

Oh, great.

I, uh...I mean, I'd do it
to help you out.

I'm just doing them
for myself.

Like homework to me.

DANNY:
Hey, Keith!

Keith, I got your record player
and the records you wanted.

This must be some
heavy date.

Never mind.

Bolero?
On your first date?

I happen to like
bolero.

What's bolero?

Well, you know about the birds
and the bees, don't you?

Of course.

Well, they got the idea

from listening
to bolero.

Hi, Keith. You didn't have
to dress up to come home.

How's the song coming?

Song?

Song.
Oh, listen,

I got some great ideas
running through my head.

Well, have any of them run down
your hand and onto paper?

Well, Reuben,
what with unpacking

and school
and all this gardening--

Nothing.

Nothing.

Keith,

your big excuse for moving out
was to write that song.

When are you
gonna do it?

Tonight. I promise I'll burn
the midnight candle.

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Coming.

[KNOCKING PERSISTING]
Uh, be right there.

Hi.
Hi, Vicky. Come on in.

I see you wore
your cheerleader outfit.

Well, yeah, I said
I was coming over

right after the game, remember?
Oh, that's right.

Danny, what are
you doing?

Waiting for bolero.

When are you gonna learn
to respect Keith's privacy?

As soon as he gets
some window shades.

Well, shades or not,
you shouldn't be looking.

How's he doing?

He's way behind
the music.

Mom, what about
your diet?

I'm taking some food
over to Keith.

Keith?

Mom, you're going back
on your word.

Maybe. But I don't think
he'll survive the winter

on a steady diet

of peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwiches.

I'm sure food will only
distract him from his work.

He'll work much better
on a full stomach.

I'll take it to him.

Thanks, honey,

but I've been a little hard
on Keith,

and I wanna
take it over myself.

Would you slice a piece
of cake for me, please?

Oh, gee, Mom,
I'd love to,

but I've gotta go
dissect my frog.

Danny!

You got here
just in time.

He's playing bolero
for the third time.

Except, this time,
he looks like he means it.

Never mind that. Mom's taking
dinner over to Keith.

What?
We have to warn him.

[SIGHS]

Hello, this is Mayday
calling Bluebird.

Bluebird?

It's no use.

Bluebird turned off
his walkie-talkie.

Why don't you
just yell to him?

Don't yell.
Mom's already on her way.

What do we do now?

[BOLERO MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Vicky...
Yes, Keith?

Vicky, I...
Yes?

It's for you.

Uh, Vicky, would you mind
stepping into the closet?

What?

Something's come up
and I can't explain.

Your wife's on her way up?
My mother.

Your mother?

I knew
you'd understand.

[MUSIC TURNS OFF]

[KNOCKS]

Oh, hi, Mom.

Hi. I fixed you
some dinner.

Aren't you gonna
invite me in?

Sure. Sure.

I was just working.

Well, if you're not hungry now,
you can heat it up later.

Keith...

Your walls are leaking.

Oh, it must be
the humidity.

I'll tell Mr. Jarvis
in the morning.

What are you doing?

I've decided to do
some of your laundry.

No, no!

No, no. It's not in the closet,
it's right here.

Also doubles as my pillow.
How resourceful.

Well, Mom...

I'm going, I'm going.

Another night, I'll have you
all over for dinner.

I said I was going.
You don't have to thr*aten me.

Thanks for the dinner
and the laundry, okay?

What are moms for.

Good night.

Do you know
you have moths?

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

She must have forgotten
the dessert.

Keith.
Archie.

As soon as we heard
you got your own place,

we came right over.
[ALL CHATTERING]

Not bad. Kitchen, stove,
refrigerator.

Vicky!
Archie! Oh, Archie.

ARCHIE:
What a surprise.

I thought I was
gonna spend

the rest of the night
staring at a moth.

ARCHIE:
Hey, g*ng, Vicky's here.

BERNIE:
Hi, Vicky.

ARCHIE:
Keith, you're the perfect host.

We're all paired up,
three girls and three guys.

[SIGHS]

Four guys,
but who's counting.

[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.
Hi.

I was wondering
if I could use my room

to finish the song.

Sure. What's the matter
with your place?

Uh, well,
a lot of things,

but right now
there's a party going on there.

How did a quiet date
with a pom-pom girl

turn into a party?
You knew?

How did you know?

Well, um,
pom-pom on the sofa,

smell of perfume,

and that bolero? album.

[SIGHS]

Really, Keith,
bolero? on your first date?

[SIGHS]
You know, Mom,

I've been thinking
about living on my own.

Maybe it's not what
it's cracked up to be.

Why do you say that?

Well, I'm old enough.

I mean,
it's not that.

It would have been great,

but all that gardening doesn't
leave me time for anything.

Mr. Jarvis would have made
a great feudal lord.

Being so close to home,

it's not really like
having your own place.

[SIGHS]

Mom, I really
wanna be free.

But suddenly,
I had so many obligations

I found I had no time
to be free at all.

[SIGHS]

Maybe I should just wait,

at least till I'm out
of high school.

Well, it just so happens that
I have a room opening up here.

But I better tell you
about it first.

No private entrance,
you have to share the shower,

and the other tenants
are very noisy.

I'll take it.

[LAUGHS]

[PLAYING "EVERY SONG IS YOU"]

♪ Magazines
And afternoon dreams ♪

♪ Get me through
The day ♪

♪ And till the night can smile
For the people ♪

♪ As I sing and I play ♪

♪ I left home ♪

♪ It seems like
A century ago ♪

♪ I never thought ♪

♪ I could miss anybody so ♪

♪ But now I know ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everything I do ♪

♪ Every song is you ♪

♪ Searched my mind ♪

♪ Just to find something
I always knew ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ And everything I do ♪

♪ Every song is you ♪

♪ Searched my mind
Just to find ♪

♪ Something
I always knew ♪

♪ Every song is you ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everything I do ♪

♪ Every song is you ♪

♪ Searched my mind
Just to find ♪

♪ Something
I always knew ♪

[CROWD CLAPPING]

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ Everything I do... ♪

[♪♪♪]

Seven dollars and
forty-five cents for food.

Six dollars and forty cents
for washing and ironing.

That comes to a total
of $ . you owe me,

minus your $ deposit.

That comes to a total
of $ . .

Seven and a half dollars
for food?

Come on, Danny,
you gave me half a dozen

peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwiches.

DANNY:
at supply-and-demand prices.

KEITH:
these prices are accurate?

Well, it's all right there
in black and white.

So are Grimm's Fairy Tales.

I'll take an IOU.

[SIGHS]

Danny, I'd like to settle up
with you.

Settle up?

You know all that food
you took over to Keith?

Yeah?
Well, our bill

for peanut butter nearly
doubled, and so did the jelly.

The, uh, total amount
is, um, $ .

Eight dollars?

I only made
half a dozen sandwiches.

That includes
the wear and tear

on the refrigerator door.

I have my overhead,
you know.

And I figured how much
you owe me.

With washing and ironing
at $ . per hour,

it comes to $ . .

You can't do that.
I'm losing money.

It's all there
in black and white.

We'll take an IOU.

Boy, the small
businessman

just doesn't
have a chance anymore.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]